生活大爆炸-S06E21_生活大爆炸

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Oh dear

不是吧

Penny have you been recording shows

佩妮你是不是又用我们的

on our DVR again No

-硬盘录像机录节目 -没有啊

Answer honestly This is not a trial

说实话就行了这又不是在审问你

That'll come later

之后才会审问

Absolutely not

我绝对没有

Help me out here I can't afford another demerit

快帮帮我我不能再被他记过了

Yeah

行

Uh maybe we were hacked

我们可能是被黑客攻击了呢

You know the Chinese have been hacking everything lately

中国那边最近不是在到处网络攻击吗

Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart Mall Cop

他们为啥要黑我们的录像机来录《百货战警》

I don't know

我也不知道

It's a fat guy on a Segway That's funny everywhere

看胖子骑电动代步车哪国人都会觉得好笑

I'm deleting it

我要把它删了

Well hang on

先别删啊

Maybe the Chinese haven't finished watching it yet

那中国黑客可能还没看完呢

You know if you're trying to make space on the DVR

如果录像机空间不够要删东西

why don't you just get rid of

你怎么不把那些

some of the stuff you've already watched

你看过的影片给删了啊

Like um Alphas

比如《阿尔法战士》

No that's the season two finale

不行这是它的第二季季末集呢

That was quite the cliffhanger

最后留了个大悬念

I'm going to re watch it before season three starts

第三季开始前我要再温习一遍剧情

There is no season three They canceled that show

不会有第三季这剧被砍了

Well they can't cancel it

他们不能砍这个剧

It ended on a cliffhanger

季末留了大悬念呢

They did Uh Sheldon

-他们就是砍了 -谢尔顿

there are two dumplings left Do you want them

还剩两个水饺你要吃吗

Dumplings

还水饺

Don't you understand what's going on here

你没懂现在情况多严重吗

As a rule no

想也知道没懂

That show ended with all the residents of New York

这剧季末剧情演到全纽约居民

either dead or unconscious

全死或是全昏迷了

Now I'll never know what happened

现在我没机会知道后续发展了

Well why don't you make up your own ending

你怎么不自己编个后续出来呢

Oh sure what a wonderful idea

行啊这主意太棒了

And after that

我编完之后

I'll make up my own rules of oral hygiene

干脆再自编个口腔卫生规矩好了

You know instead of flossing I'll rub pudding on my gums

例如以后再也不剔牙而是把布丁涂牙龈上

I'm going to get the number of the SyFy Channel

我要找出科幻台的电话

and give them what for

给他们点教训

Oh please don't do that

求你了别这样

No They can't just cancel a show like Alphas

一定要他们怎么能砍了这样的剧呢

You know They have to help the viewers let go

他们应该帮助观众放手才对啊

Firefly did a movie to wrap things up

《萤火虫》出了电影版来收尾

Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book

《吸血鬼猎人巴菲》以漫画继续延伸了下去

Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season

《英雄》的剧情一季比一季烂

till we were grateful it ended

到结尾时观众还感到庆幸呢

I feel bad for whoever gets that phone call

我替要接到他电话的人感到难过

Ah don't

不需要

If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds

要是不想接到疯狂宅男粉的斥责电话

they shouldn't have started a Sci Fi channel

那他们当初就不应该开这个科幻台

第六季第二十一集

生活大爆炸

I think you're gonna be really happy

你之后一定会对这个摄像头

with this security camera

感到十分满意

The optics are great

镜头很棒

it's got infrared technology

还有内置红外线技术

and there's even a backup battery when the power goes out

而且还附带备用电池停电时也能运作

Whatever

都行啦

I can see my little princess

反正我能在上班时

while I'm at work right

看到我的小公主对吧

Why can't you just watch porn like a regular guy

你不能像个正常男人那样上班偷看黄片吗

I need your laptop so I can configure the software

把你的电脑给我我得调试下软件

Wait hold on

等等

This is weird

奇了怪了

What

怎么了

I was Googling that girl I've been dating

我刚在网上搜我对象的资料

and I found her blog

然后找到了她的博客

Cool

厉害

Anything juicy

有"有料"的内容吗

She said she recently went on a date with a guy named Roger

她说最近在跟一个叫罗杰的人约会

And he's Indian

他还是印度人

And he's an astrophysicist too

而且他也是个天体物理学家

You know what's going on don't you

你知道这是怎么回事吧

Yes Mummy was right

没错我妈说得太对了

American girls are sexually voracious devils

美国的女人全都是淫荡饥渴骚货

I can't believe I have to explain this

没想到我居然得跟你解释这事

People change names on blogs to protect their privacy

很多人都会在博客上用假名来保持隐私

Roger is Raj

罗杰就是拉杰

I always thought if I had a white name

我一直以为如果我要有个白人名

it would be Gavin

那我会叫盖伦

Keep reading What does it say

继续读啊看她都说了啥

No no I don't know if I should

不行不行这不太好吧

If she wanted me to know about her blog she would've told me

如果她想我知道她有博客早就告诉我了

It's almost like I'm reading her diary

这就跟偷看她日记一样

That's exactly what it's like Keep reading

这就是偷看她日记啊继续读

No this is creepy

不行这太没节操了

Oh I think we were looking at creepy in the rearview mirror

从我帮你安装好摄像头的那一刻起

when I put up that camera

节操就已成路人了

It's not creepy Don't listen to him

我们正常得很别听他瞎说

Oh look who's got the sweetest kisses

瞧呀哪个小姑娘的亲亲这么香啊

Should I go

要让你们独处吗

With all the TV Sheldon was talking about

在听完谢尔顿说了这么多电视剧后

I had the greatest idea ever

我有了一个绝妙的好主意

It even blows away my idea

比我要开名为

for a Star Wars themed coffee shop called "Brewbacca's "

"楚巴咖啡厅"星战主题咖啡厅的主意还棒

楚巴卡是星球大战里的知名角色

You need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer

那就是让你看《吸血鬼猎人巴菲》

It is the perfect show for the two of us

这剧超适合我们情侣一同观赏

It's got action and jokes

集火爆动作与搞笑一体

and hot vampires and romance I cannot oversell this

有性感吸血鬼加浪漫爱情怎么夸都不过分

What do you say

你怎么说

It's 6 30 in the morning

现在是清晨六点半

I thought you grew up on a farm

你不是在农场长大的吗

Hello SyFy Network

你好科幻台吗

Yeah this is your vice president of programming

我是你们的节目安排副总裁

Now we have made a horrible mistake regarding Alphas

对于《阿尔法战士》我们做了重大错误决定

Yeah we need to uncancel it immediately

我们要立刻反取消节目

Well you just put me through to the people who handle that

总之谁负责这个你就把电话转给谁

you tell them it's me

告诉他们我是谁

and I don't want to answer a lot of questions

我不想回答一大堆关于

about if I really am who I say I am you know

我是不是真是我自己所说的这个人的问题

I just I want this done

我就是要把这事儿解决了

No I am not the person who just called

不我不是刚才打来电话的人

That man was clearly a cowboy

那个人很显然是个牛仔

Yeah who was plumb concerned

对他只是单纯地关心

about y'all canceling his favorite show

你们取消了他最喜爱的电视剧

Why do they keep hanging up on me

他们为什么总是挂我电话

I'm sorry you're upset

很遗憾你这么难过

You know Sheldon sometimes people seek the comfort

知道吗谢尔顿在这种时刻

of physical contact in moments like this

有些人会寻求身体接触带来的安慰

I am not flying back to Texas

我才不会飞回德州

just so my mom can give me a hug

就为了让我妈抱一下

Okay

好吧

Well what I think is going on here

我觉得你现在的情况是

is you have a pathological need for closure

对于"结局" 你有种病态的需求

Oh that's nonsense

真是胡说

I mean you tell me stories about your day all the time

你总是告诉我你的日常生活琐碎事

I don't care how they end

我根本不关心结局是什么

You know I might be able to help you with this

也许我能帮你

There's a whole field of behavioral neuroscience

在行为神经学方面有一个领域

that examines ways to retrain your neural pathways

研究如何重新训练神经通路

so stuff like this bothers you less

然后这样的事情便不会如此困扰你了

Yeah but I just told you

但我刚刚对你说了

I don't have a problem with closure

我才没纠结要有结局的问题

You sure about that

你确定吗

Oh quite sure

相当确定

That proves nothing

这不能证明什么

Ready to go to lunch

可以去吃午饭了吗

Do you think I'm feminine

你觉得我这人很女性化吗

Yeah Let's go

是的我们走

Thanks a lot

多谢你了

What's going on

怎么了

I broke down and I read Lucy's blog

我没忍住我看了露西的博客

And in one of the entries

其中有一段

she said when we first met

她说我们初次见面时

I struck her as a little feminine

她觉得我这人有一点点女性气质

Just a little That's great

才觉得一点点而已很好啊

I have to talk to her about this

我得跟她谈谈这个

Oh geez why do you girls always want to talk about things

老天为什么你们女生总要谈这谈那

Listen to me

听我说

if she's writing about your relationship

如果她写了你们感情方面的内容

use it to your advantage

你就好好利用啊

Rig the game

操纵游戏

Well that doesn't seem fair

这似乎不公平吧

Is it fair that girls like confident normal guys

难道女生喜欢自信正常的男生多过

more than nervous weirdos

紧张古怪男这样就公平吗

No it's not

这不公平

I've always thought that was unfair

我一直觉得这不公平

So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off

那就利用博客里的内容让她宽衣解裤带

Why do you have to make everything so filthy

为什么话从你的嘴里出来就这样下流

Why couldn't you just say the blog is like

你为什么不能说博客就像是

her giving me the key to her heart

她给了我一把打开她心门的钥匙

"The key to her heart "

"打开她心门的钥匙"

That's nice

真不错

Were you quoting someone

这话是你引用别人的

or is it tattooed on the small of your back

还是你腰上的娘们纹身

I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women

我在引用对女人略知一二的男人的话

Sir Elton John

艾尔顿·约翰爵士[著名同性恋歌手]

So did you love it

你喜欢吗

Of course you loved it How could you not love it

你当然喜欢了你怎么会不喜欢呢

Tell me how much you loved it

告诉我你有多喜欢

It was cute

很可爱

Oh don't say cute

别说可爱啊

That's the worst

这个词最差劲了

What's wrong with cute

可爱怎么不对了

It just makes things seem small

这样一形容就觉得东西小小的

It diminishes them

有种渺小的感觉

So you want me to stop calling your little tushy cute

你这是要我不再说你的小屁屁可爱吗

You can try but nobody's gonna believe you

你可以不说啊不过没人会相信你

I just I don't understand how you can watch a show that great

我只是不理解为什么看这么优秀的电视剧

and not be excited by it

你却一点也不激动

I liked it I'm excited

我喜欢我很激动

Well then tell your face

那你的表情就配合一下啊

What do you want from me

你想让我怎么样

You know what

这样吧

Never mind We gave it a shot

算了我们尝试过了

Let's just see what else is on

看看有什么其它节目吧

Oh come on don't be like that

拜托别这样嘛

I'm sorry I called it cute

抱歉我说了可爱

Let's watch another one Really

-我们再看一集 -真的吗

Yeah it was fun

对挺有意思的

Kind of reminded me of my high school

让我想起了高中时代

But instead of vampires we had meth heads

但我们没有吸血鬼只有嗑药鬼

But both came out at night and had messed up teeth

但两者都是夜晚冒出来而且都是一口烂牙

All right cool

好吧

I I think you'll like the next one better

我觉得你会更喜欢下一集

All the cheerleaders are suffering from an evil curse

讲的是啦啦队员们遭受邪恶诅咒之苦

Oh Well that's like my high school too

这点也很像高中

But instead of a curse it was crabs

不过不是诅咒是阴虱之苦

I've come up with a series of exercises

我准备了一系列练习

to help with your compulsive need for closure

帮你克服对收尾的强迫需求

I take issue with the word "compulsive "

我不喜欢"强迫"这个词

All I'm saying is

我的意思是

we live in a world where closure isn't always an op

我们生活的这个世界里结局并不是一定...

Tion Okay

会有的好吧

For the sake of argument let's say I have a problem

为了论证这点就先假设我是有问题

What would be your plan for addressing it

那你要如何证明我有问题呢

I'm going to recondition your brain

我要重建你的大脑思路

so that the need for completion isn't so overwhelming

让这种对结局的需求得以抑制

By playing tic tac toe

靠玩井字游戏吗

Yep Your turn

对该你了

Oh Amy

艾米

And you wonder why people think neuroscience

你现在知道为什么人们认为神经学

is nothing but a goofy game for diaper babies

不过是小儿科的愚蠢游戏了吧

Tic tac toe can only end in win lose or draw

井字游戏肯定会有赢输或平手的结局

none of which will deny me closure

完全没办法阻止我得到结局的乐趣

Especially since I'm about to win

特别是我即将胜出的情况下

B But we didn't finish

我们还没玩完呢

Exactly

正是

How does that make you feel

你对此有何感觉

The same way any normal person would

跟任何正常人一样啊

Feel like I want to peel off my own face

我想扯掉自己的脸

and tear it in two and then again and again

撕成两半然后不停地撕

until I have a handful of Sheldon face confetti

直到我的脸碎成渣

And that's exactly the feeling we want to address

今日的治疗针对的

with this course of treatment

正是这种感觉

Yeah or you could pitch in grab a nostril

或者你可以帮个忙抓我的鼻孔

and help me get this face off

帮我把这玩意撕下来

Come on you can do this

加油啊你行的

You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated

你不能理解这种闹心的感觉是何滋味

To have a a desire build up within you

心中逐渐建立起了强烈的欲望

and be denied any opportunity for release

最后却只能憋着无处释放

Yeah sounds like a drag

听起来是很惨啊

Okay help me out here

帮我分析分析

Why does he love this show so much

他为什么这么喜欢这个剧

Well there was action it was funny

片中有动作场面也很搞笑

I mean you do get that usually the monster chases the pretty girl

你明白通常都是怪物追美女

but this time the pretty girl chases the monsters

而这里是美女追怪物吧

Yippee it's backwards I get it

耶嘿反过来啦我明白

Why does this bother you so much

你为什么这么困扰这事啊

I don't know

不知道

It's just he's so passionate about so many different things

他总是为这么多东西感到兴奋

I just don't get that way

我就做不到那样

Do you

你行吗

Well sure I'm pretty passionate about science

可以啊我对科学就很热爱

I remember the first time I looked through a microscope

我还记得第一次看显微镜下

and saw millions of tiny microorganisms

那无数微生物时的场景

It was like a whole other universe

简直就像另一个宇宙

If I wanted to I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god

只要姐愿意就可以像神一样用大拇指按死它们

See I wish I had some of that fire in my life

瞧我也想找点这种热情

I mean I want to care about things

我也想有特别在乎的东西

and get excited like you guys

像你们一样为之兴奋

Well there's no reason you can't

你完全可以啊

You think

你这么认为吗

Absolutely All we need to do is spend

当然了我们需要做的

a little time and find something you're passionate about

只是花点时间找到你所热爱的东西

That sounds like a lot of work

听起来好累啊

Hey what's up

怎么啦

Uh Lucy's coming over I need some advice

露西要来我需要点建议

However long you think the foreplay should be triple it

不管你认为前奏该有多长加成三倍

Just tell me which one you think is more manly

你就说说哪件会更有男子气概吧

This hockey jersey or

曲棍球运动衫还是

this football jersey

橄榄球运动衫

I don't know Go with hockey

我也不知道穿曲棍球的吧

Good black is more slimming

很好黑色显瘦

Oh that's her

她来了

I got to go be butch Toodles

我要去当壮汉了拜拜

Come in

请进

Oh look how cute your little doggy is

瞧瞧你这可爱的小狗狗

Yeah well I wouldn't get too close

别离它太近

If I give the right command in German

如果我用德语给她下个命令

she'll rip your face off

她就会把你的脸撕下来

O'er the land of the free

在这自由国家

美国国歌

And the home of the

勇士的...

完整歌词是"勇士的家乡"

下一个

That's quite an impressive layout isn't it

这设计可真不错对吗

Yes

是的

Let's box it up

收起来吧

"Let's box it up "

收起来吧

That's enough

够了

Sheldon Sheldon give it

谢尔顿谢尔顿给我

Okay Sheldon make a wish and blow out the candles

好了谢尔顿许个愿然后吹蜡烛吧

Oops missed one

惨了漏了一支

Now your wish can't come true

现在你的愿望不能实现了

Lucky for you 'cause I wished you were dead

你真幸运我许的愿是你死了

I like your jersey

我喜欢你的运动衫

Thanks I love hockey

谢谢夸奖我喜欢曲棍球

Oh cool So does my dad

真不错我爸爸也喜欢

We watched it all the time growing up

我从小就和他一起看比赛

Who's your favorite player

你最喜欢的球员是谁

Not Brian Boitano that's for sure

不是布莱恩·博伊塔诺就是了[美国花样滑冰冠军]

How's your burrito

你的玉米饼好吃吗

It's still a little frozen in the middle

这饼中间还有点没化冻呢

Probably because I didn't read the instructions

那是因为我没有读说明书的缘故

No wrapper's going to tell me what to do

我从来不看包装纸上的说明[饶舌歌手]

Unless his name is Jay Z

除非上面写的是杰斯的饶舌

Is something going on

你有什么事吗

What do you mean

此话怎讲

Well you're acting all weird

你表现一直怪怪的

And I'm pretty weird

我自己本身就够怪的了

so I think I know what I'm talking about

连我觉得怪那可是真的怪

I don't know Maybe it's all those steroids I've been taking

我也不知道或许是因为我最近吃的类固醇吧

I think I'm gonna go

我看我还是走吧

Thank you for the burrito and the pork rinds

谢谢你的玉米饼煎猪皮

and the 20 minute lecture

还有足足20分钟的

on why monster trucks are better than regular trucks

关于为什么怪物卡车比普通卡车强的讲座

Wait wait

等等等一下

I I found your blog where you wrote about me

我看到你写的关于我的博客了

Oh I kind of just write that for myself

我那是写给我自己看的

I didn't think anybody actually read it

我没想过会有人真来读

No kidding You didn't make it easy to find

那倒是你藏的还挺隐秘的

I spent hours digging around online

我上网找了好久才找到呢

For the record you have excellent credit scores

顺带一提你的信用记录挺好的

And your diabetic aunt seems

还有你那个得糖尿病的阿姨

to be adjusting to her new leg just fine

看起来也挺适应她那条新腿的

Why were you acting so strange tonight

你今天怎么表现得这么奇怪呢

You called me feminine

你说我这人太女性化了

And I

所以我

I wanted you to think I was more manly

我想在你面前表现得阳刚一点

Raj I didn't say "feminine" was a bad thing

拉杰我说的女性化并不是坏事

I meant that you're sweet and thoughtful

我是指你又贴心又善解人意

and your skin looks so much like caramel

还有你的皮肤就像焦糖

I just want to dip an apple in your face

让我想用苹果沾着吃

I do have a pretty balls to the wall

我的确有一套超棒的

moisturizing regimen

在保湿秘方

So are you okay

所以你没事吧

Yeah

没事

Good

那就好

Do you even like hockey

那你真的喜欢冰球吗

当然不

Bought this at the Staples Center

这套衣服是我去斯台普斯球馆

when I went to see Taylor Swift

看泰勒·斯威夫特演唱会时买的

So I was thinking how excited you get

我思考了一下你总是为

about stuff like Buffy or science

吸血鬼猎人巴菲呀科学呀

or which TV remote you and Sheldon should buy

或你和谢尔顿为了买哪个遥控器而激动吵架

The "Harmony One" was fine

"和谐一号"已经很不错了

We didn't need to upgrade to the 1100

根本没必要升级到1100型

which he knows is too big for my hand

他知道我手太小拿不了那个型号的

See that's the kind of passion I didn't think I had

你看你这种激情就是我所没有的

But then I realized I'm passionate about you

但我后来意识到我对你本人就有激情

Oh my cute little tushy strikes again

是我的可爱小翘臀起了作用吧

No I'm serious

不我是说真的

Look I've always had these plans

我一直觉得

I was gonna be in movies and live this glamorous life

我会变成电影明星过着五光十色的生活

and anything less than that

而和这些无关的东西

just wasn't worth getting excited about

都不值得我激动

Those things can still happen

你说的那些还是有可能发生的

Oh obviously it's gonna happen

这一切当然是会发生的

Yeah a psychic at a bachelorette party told me so

有个单身派对上的算命师已经帮我算过了

Anyway what I meant was

但我想说的是

I shouldn't wait you know

我不该再观望下去了懂吗

I've got you I've got Sheldon

我有你我有谢尔顿

all these wonderful friends

这么多超级棒的朋友

My life is exciting right now

我的生活已经足够精彩了

That's a big deal

这的确很重要

It is isn't it

的确如此对不对

So does that mean we get to do stuff

这是不是就意味着我们可以开始

like talk about cool shows or get dressed up

一起讨论那些好看的电视或者穿着

in matching costumes and go to Comic Con

情侣变装制服一起去参加漫画大会了

Leonard I had an epiphany not a stroke

莱诺德我只是顿悟不是突然中风好吗

Amy I must say I was skeptical at first

艾米我得说一开始我是抱着怀疑的态度

but this has truly been a transformative evening

但今晚的确是充满改革性的一夜呀

I'm a little surprised to hear you feeling so positive

你能有如此正面的态度我还真有点小惊讶

Well you're an excellent neuroscientist

你是个出色的神经学家

you're a wonderful girlfriend and

也是个很棒的女朋友还是

And

还是

Doesn't matter does it

这不重要对吧

I'm proud of you Sheldon

我真为你自豪谢尔顿

And a complete sucker

还是个彻头彻尾的笨蛋

Oh yeah

我赢了

There he is

出来了

And the home of the brave

也是勇气的家乡

Don't stop Yes keep going

别停下继续继续

Just like that Almost there almost there

就是这样马上就成功了就要到头了

Sheldon you big weirdo

谢尔顿你个怪胎

I want you to know that I love that you're in my life

我要你知道我喜欢有你在我身边

I love you too

我也喜欢你

Hello Uh is this the Bruce Miller who wrote

请问你是阿尔法战士季终集的

the season finale of Alphas

编剧布鲁斯·米勒吗

Oh smashing Yeah you already sound nicer

太好了你已经比前一个

than the last Bruce Miller who suggested

要我自己跟自己做爱的布鲁斯·米勒

I have sexual relations with myself

听起来友善多了

Yeah now down to business

好了现在言归正传

Um your show ended on a cliffhanger

你这剧最后埋下了一个悬念

Could you please tell me how you planned to resolve it

你能告诉我你打算怎么解决它吗

I see

我明白了

Well that all stinks

这也太烂了吧

No wonder you got canceled Bye

怪不得你这剧被取消了呢回见