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I gotta tell you the more I read about the
我不得不说 我越读有关
primordial gravity wave discovery the more excited I get
原始重力波的发现 我就越兴奋
I know Being an astrophysicist right now
是啊 现在当个天体物理学家
is like being a rock star
就跟当个摇滚巨星似的
Only without the sex
除了没歌迷送炮之外
Yeah literally none of it
是啊 真是一炮难求
What do you think about it Sheldon
谢尔顿 你觉得呢
Meh
Are you kidding me This may be
你不是吧 这可能是
the biggest scientific breakthrough of our lifetime
我们有生之年所能碰见最大的科研突破
How can you as a theoretical physicist
而你做为个理论物理学家
not care about this
居然一点都不关心
Maybe it's because I'm not an elitist
可能我不是个精英主义者
What I'd like to know is
我更想知道的是
How does this gravity wave breakthrough
这个重力波的突破
help the man on the street You know
能对一般人有何帮助
Wh Who's looking out for Joe Six Pack
普通路人傻逼对量子物理学的担心
and all his quantum physics concerns
又有谁关心呢
Oh my God you're jealous
天啊 你在嫉妒人家
Why would I be jealous Oh I don't know
-我为何要嫉妒 -不知道啊
Maybe because the origin of the universe just got proven
可能宇宙的起源被别人证明了
the Higgs field just got proven
希格斯力场也被别人证明了
and you've been working on string theory
而你这20年来对弦理论的研究
for the last 20 years and you're no closer to proving it
与你刚开始的那会相比
than when you started
一点进展都没有
Yeah well I've had a lot on my plate
是啊 我有太多事情要忙
We happen to live in a golden age of television
我们刚好活在电视界的黄金时期
Excuse me fellas
各位 打扰一下
Sorry for eavesdropping
抱歉我偷听了你们的谈话
but there actually was some big string theory news today
但其实今天在强子对撞机那里
out of the Hadron Collider Really
-有一条弦理论的大新闻呢 -真的吗
Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions
他们发现支持额外维度的证明
or supersymmetry No
-还是超对称性吗 -都不是
but they did find evidence that you'll believe anything
但他们发现了 你什么话都信的证明
Why would you do that
你为何要这样
You're a string theorist as well
你也是个弦理论学家啊
Incorrect I am a string pragmatist
错了 我是弦理论实用家
I say I'm gonna prove something that cannot be proved
我跟人说我要证明一个不能被证明的理论
I apply for grant money
然后申请研究款项
and then I spend it on liquor and broads
最后拿这笔钱去喝酒泡妞
Later
再会
Do you think he's right
你们觉得他说的对吗
Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven
我把生命浪费在了一个不能被证明的理论上
Maybe But how great is Game of Thrones
或许吧 可是《权力的游戏》多好看啊
第七季 第二十集
Hey you're up early
这么早就醒啦
I couldn't sleep
我睡不着
I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea
我早说了别用《行尸走肉》的枕头套
No that's not it
跟那个无关
Is something bothering you
有烦心事吗
Yes but you wouldn't understand
是啊 不过你不会懂的
Oh come on try me
别这样 说来听听
All right
好吧
I've devoted the prime of my life to string theory
我把我的人生黄金时期都奉献给了弦理论
and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions
致力于探索紧化额外维度
I've got nothing to show for it and I feel like a fool
而我连一点可以炫耀的成功都没有 像个傻瓜
Okay I get it
好 我懂了
I mean not all the jibberjabber in the middle but
虽然中间的鬼话一个字没懂 但是...
I know what it's like
我懂那种
to put your heart and soul into something
全心全意都奉献给某个人事物
and get nothing out of it
却一点回报都没有的感觉
You mean your acting career
你是说你的演艺事业吗
No
不是
Your relationship with Leonard
你与莱纳德的感情吗
No
也不是
Your failed attempt to go back to college
你重回校园的失败之路吗
No
不是
I'm saying you and string theory sound like a relationship
我是说你与弦理论就像一段感情
and I know what it's like to be in one
而我知道那种感情的滋味
and realize it's never gonna turn out the way you want
也懂那种永远不能如愿的感觉
I said Leonard you said no
都说是莱纳德 你还否认
I'm talking about other guys
我是指跟其他男人时啦
Okay
好吧
Well what do you do
那你都是怎么做的
You have to have the courage to end the relationship
你得有壮士断腕的勇气结束感情
You know Break it off shake hands walk away
分手止损 握手道别 甩手走人
I don't know if I can do that
我不知道我能不能做到
I know it's hard honey
我知道这很困难 但宝贝
but in the end that's how you grow
但人都是这样成长的
Penny have you seen my good inhaler
佩妮 你有看到我好的那个吸入器吗
Break it off shake hands walk away
分手止损 握手道别 甩手走人
Hey how's dating two women going
跟两个女人纠缠得如何啊
Um kind of hit a bump
遇到点小麻烦
When I was honest and told Emily
当我老实告诉艾米丽
she wasn't the only person I was seeing it went great
我同时有在与另一个人约会时 她可以接受
So I tried the same thing with Lucy
所以我也这么告诉了露西
And
然后呢
She had mixed feelings
她内心五味杂陈
But when I said "Emily was cool with it
但当我说"艾米丽可以接受
Emily's the best Why can't you be more like Emily "
艾米丽最好了 你为啥不学学艾米丽"时
those feelings became less mixed
那五味就只剩一味了
Women Who knows what'll set 'em off
女人啊 谁知道她们不爽的点在哪
At least now I can focus all my energies on just one girl
可至少我现在能全心对一个女孩投入了
I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible
我希望我能尽快见到她
Why the rush She isn't going anywhere
干嘛这么着急 她又不会跑
She is But I like that attitude
她会的 但我喜欢你的乐观
Gentlemen is anybody interested in my old string theory books
各位 有人对我弦理论的旧书感兴趣吗
You're really going to do this
你真的要这么做吗
I am Yeah Penny pointed out that
是的 佩妮指出
what I'm going through is essentially a breakup
我现在基本上就是在经历一段分手
And according to Cosmopolitan magazine
而且根据《时尚》杂志中
one of the most effective techniques for moving on
一篇教导如何有效挥别旧爱的文章
is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship
分手就得丢掉会回忆起感情的一切物件
You're reading Cosmo Yes
-你还读起《时尚》杂志啦 -是啊
As it turns out there's an article
而且我还发现 基本上
on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue
每期都有教导如何挥别旧爱的文章
Anyway
反正
it suggests that I set these on fire
它还建议要把这些东西烧掉
but the smell of burning books
但烧书的味道
reminds me of church picnics in East Texas
会让我想起教会去德州东部野餐时的回忆
绰号为太空城的休士顿就在德州东部
What's this
这是什么
That's just a doodle of a hyperelliptic Riemann surface
我随手画的超椭圆黎曼曲面而已
Oh yeah Wasn't that the basis of your postdoc fellowship
这不是你当年博士后的基础吗
It was
是啊
This seemed so elegant at the time
当年我还觉得这很高大上
but now I realize I was just a simple country boy
但我现在意识到我当年只是个被
seduced by a big city theory
大城市那变量都对的理论
with variables in all the right places
所迷惑的单纯农村小伙
It's going to be okay I know
-你会没事的 -我知道
As hard as this is I have to move on
尽管很困难 我还是得挥别过去了
I can't keep postulating multidimensional entities
我不能再一直假定着多维度实体
and get nothing in return
却什么结果也得不到
I have needs too
我也是有需求的人
So you and Emily still together
你现在还跟艾米丽在一起吗
I spoke to Bernadette She's free tomorrow night
我问过伯纳黛特了 她明天有空
Oh okay great
好啊 行
But if we're really gonna do a double date
但如果我们真的要四人约会
then we have to go over some ground rules about Emily
我们得先定下一些跟艾米丽有关的规矩
Like when it turns out she's made of rubber
比如最终发现她是个橡胶充气娃娃时
I don't say anything
我啥都不许说吗
She's very real
她很真实好吗
Oh that's what it says on the box
充气娃娃盒子上都这么写啊
Right next to "Dishwasher safe "
就写在"可用洗碗机清洗"的字样旁
See
你看
This is exactly the kind of thing
我担心的就是
I'm worried about you saying in front of her
你在她面前说这类的话
I promise I'll be on my best behavior You better be
-我保证我绝对会很乖 -最好是这样
No jokes about how close I am with my dog
不许开我跟我的狗很亲密的玩笑
Or the truth about how close I am with my dog
也不许说我跟我狗有多亲密的实话
You got it
我保证
No jokes about the year I took ballet
不许开我学过一年芭蕾舞的玩笑
You took ballet
你学过芭蕾舞吗
God you never listen
天啊 你从来都不好好聆听
Are you sure you want to do this
你确定你要这样吗
The magazine articles suggest that one of the ways
杂志中一篇文章建议
to get over a breakup is a new look
挥别旧情的方法就是新造型
What about your old look
那你的旧造型呢
well groomed ventriloquist doll
精心打扮过的腹语术玩偶造型
"Oh my God I do look like that " Stop it
-"天啊 的确是很像" -别闹了
So how do you want me to cut it
所以你想我怎么剪
How about Bill Gates meets Nikola Tesla
比尔·盖兹加尼古拉·特斯拉的发型
So business in the front science in the back
就是前面商人头 后面科学家头
Or I don't cut it
或者我就不剪了
and maybe just style it a little
就搞点造型就行了
Oh I'm in your hands
你说了算
Do a good job and I'll tell you Cosmo's ten dynamite tips
你弄得好我就告诉你 《时尚》教你如何轻松度过
to enjoy your PMS
经前症候群的10大绝招
Can you keep him quiet
你能让他保持安静吗
Maybe jangle some keys in front of him
比如拿钥匙在他眼前晃
That doesn't work anymore
这招不好用了
He just thinks I'm taking him to the doctor
他只会觉得我是要带他去看医生
So now that you're no longer invested in string theory
所以你现在不搞弦理论了
what are you gonna pursue
你打算研究哪方面
Oh there are so many exciting areas
有很多超有意思的领域啊
black holes dark matter
黑洞 暗物质
Oh Leonard was telling me about dark matter
莱纳德那天还在跟我说暗物质呢
but I didn't really understand it
但我真的不太理解
Don't feel bad Neither does he
不用难过 他自己也不懂
Okay
好了
what do you think
你觉得如何
Have you ever even seen a picture of Tesla
你看没看过特斯拉的照片啊
发型是微卷的中分头
尼古拉·特斯拉 伟大的发明家 物理学家
It actually looks good Sheldon
其实很好看呢 谢尔顿
Doesn't it Yeah
-是吧 -是啊
I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boy band
我是可以想象自己在一个科学男子团体里
Of course I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one
由于美貌与智慧并存 所以在男团里一个顶俩
Sorry I'm late
抱歉我来晚了
What did you do
你干了啥好事
I gave him a new look It's cute huh
我帮他弄了新造型 很好看吧
Yeah it's cute That's the problem
是啊 很好看 这就是问题
I don't need other girls to see him walking around
我可不想他走在路上被饥渴的女人们
like sex on a stick
扑上来按倒
She's right I'm too hot
她说的对 我太性感了
I'm excited to meet Emily
我迫不及待想见艾米丽
Me too I just hope he doesn't blow it
我也是 只希望他别搞砸这段情
Why would you say that
你为什么这么说
Because he's Raj that's his thing
因为他是拉杰啊 这是他的专长
Beckham can bend it Ralph can wreck it
贝克汉姆很会踢球 破坏王很会砸
与《Wreck it Ralph》无敌破坏王
电影《Bend it like Beckham》我爱贝克汉姆
Raj can blow it
拉杰很会搞砸
Look I don't want it to happen
我也不想发生那种事
but odds are he's gonna find a way to
但他有很大的几率会搞...
Oh crap I know that girl
靠 我认识那女的
How
怎么个认识
In a bad way very bad
很不好 非常不好的认识
Hey guys
你们好啊
Whatever you hear tonight just remember I love you
无论你今晚听到了什么 只要记得我很爱你
Hey
你们来啦
Emily these are my good friends
艾米丽 他们是我的好朋友
Howard and Bernadette
霍华德与伯纳黛特
Guys this is Emily Nice to meet you
-两位 她叫艾米丽 -幸会
Hi
你好
Have we met before
我们见过吗
Uh no
没有吧
I I don't I don't think so
我 我觉得 没有吧
You sure You look familiar
你确定吗 你好眼熟啊
Well you sure don't
你肯定看错了
You I know you I know you
我认识你 我也认识你 而你...
Total stranger
绝对是初次见面啊
Even if you had yummy candy I would not get in your van
就算你有好吃的糖果 我也不会跟你去看金鱼
Did you go to that spin class on Green Street
你是不是有参加格林街上的自行车健身班
That must be it
就是这样没错
Since when do you go to spin class
你什么时候参加过自行车健身班
Wow Now who doesn't listen
看看到底谁才不听别人说话
Sheldon your food's getting cold
谢尔顿 你的饭都快凉了
What are you doing
你在干什么呢
Oh looking through my textbooks for a new field of inquiry
我想从课本里找出新的研究方向
Why do we have a Geology book
家里怎么会有本地质学的书
Leonard
莱纳德
did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas
我回去德州时 你在家偷偷办了个儿童派对吗
Wait What's wrong with geology
等等 地理学怎么惹到你了
Let me put this in a way you'll understand Penny
让我用你能听懂的方式解释吧 佩妮
You remember how you explained to me
记得你跟我解释过
that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities
卡戴珊一家根本算不上真正的明星吗
Well Geology is the Kardashians of science
地理学就是科学界的卡戴珊一家
Have you considered studying standard model physics
你考虑过研究标准模型物理学吗
You want me to give up string theory
你想让我放弃弦理论
for something that's less advanced
去做更落后的项目吗
You know why don't you break up with Penny
那你为什么不甩掉佩妮
and start dating a brown bear
去找个棕熊恋爱呢
Like you could get a brown bear
好像你泡得到棕熊似的
Hey I've got a good job
人家有份正经工作
I could buy salmon You don't know
有钱买三文鱼给熊吃 搞不好会成功呢
Maybe you could make your new field of study
或许你可以开始尝试一下
the calculation of nuclear matrix elements
核矩阵元素的计算工作
Oh please
得了吧
If I wanted to take up a fad I'd get a tramp stamp
如果我想赶时髦 还不如去搞个骚女纹身呢
What about loop quantum gravity
那环圈量子重力学呢
Oh Duchess look at me
公爵夫人 瞧瞧我
My quantum gravity's positively loopy
我的量子重力学真是好糊涂[圈]啊
Who's the Duchess
公爵夫人是哪位啊
One of the people that lives in his head
他脑子里众多幻想人物之一
I hope he's this distraught if he ever breaks up with me
如果他和我分手后 也这么心神错乱就好了
Well if he does I'll see if my bear has a friend
如果真是 我会让我家熊熊替他介绍对象的
Sheldon have you ever considered
谢尔顿 你可以试试
not rushing into something new
不要急着开始新的研究呀
I mean why don't you take your time
你为什么不放松一点
enjoy your freedom
享受享受自由的时间呢
Maybe something new to study will find you
也许新的课题会主动出现在你面前
That's actually not bad advice
这个建议其实还真不错
You know I didn't seek out string theory
你知道 我当初也不是主动研究弦理论的
It just hit me over the head one day
有一天它就突然对我当头棒喝
How does that happen
怎么发生的
A bully chased me through the school library
一个校园恶霸在图书馆追着我跑
and hit me over the head with the biggest book he could find
用他手边最重的书打了我的头
Okay how about we toast your newfound freedom
我们来为你的自由干杯吧
Ah normally I refrain from alcohol
通常我是不沾酒的
but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs
但我的大脑皮层已经在无聊地玩手指了
why not soak it in grape juice
不如就让它沉浸在
that's been predigested by a fungus
霉菌发酵过的葡萄汁里吧
And you wonder why other children beat you with books
怪不得其他孩子要用书砸你呢
Cheers
干杯
Emily what do you do
艾米丽 你是做什么工作的
I'm a dermatology resident at Huntington Hospital
我是亨廷顿医院的皮肤科医师
Mmm and you know what that means
你们都懂其中的意思了吧
Someone's skin's about to be softer than ever
有人的皮肤马上就要吹弹可破了
This is making me crazy
这可折磨死我了
I know I know you from somewhere
我知道我肯定在哪里见过你
Oh uh Howard was an astronaut
霍华德曾经做过宇航员
Maybe that's where you saw him
也许你就是这么认识他的
That's amazing
太厉害了
What was that like
那是什么样的感觉
It was the most incredible experience of my life
是我人生中最难忘的体验
Up there in the space station you're
在太空站里 人会...
Oh my God I remember
我的妈呀 我想起来了
Can I finish my astronaut story
能让我把宇航员的故事说完吗
It was four years ago
这事发生在四年前
Please don't say it We were set up on a blind date
-求求你别说出来 -别人介绍我们相亲
Please don't say it You came to my apartment
-别说下去了 拜托 -你来了我的公寓
You're saying it
你还是说出来了
Well wh what happened
到底发生了什么
Yeah what happened Okay I'll say it
-是啊 发生了什么事 -好吧 我来说吧
I was on the way to pick her up
我去她家接她
My stomach felt a little funny
路上我的肠胃开始不舒服了
When I got there I asked if I could use her bathroom
所以到她家时 我借用了她的厕所
Please don't say it
求你别说了
One roll of toilet paper and 20 minutes later
20分钟过去了 在用完一卷卫生纸后
I was so humiliated
我实在是太羞愧难当
I snuck out the window and never saw her again
于是我从窗口逃走了 再也没敢去见她
You know what else I never saw again
你知道还有什么也跟着你消失了吗
my security deposit
我付给房东的清洁押金
I'm sorry
我很抱歉
I tried to unclog it but you didn't have a plunger
我试着疏通马桶 可找不到马桶塞子
and water was spilling out everywhere
水也流得到处都是
Right just water
对 流的只是"水"而已
Look I have felt terrible about this for years
这些年我都一直为这事而羞愧
and I'm glad I have the opportunity
我也很庆幸今天有这个机会
to tell you just how sorry I am
当面向你表达我的歉意
It's fine
没关系
All my friends love this story
我的朋友们都好爱这个故事
They call you Clogzilla
他们叫你"卡屎拉"
Get it
你懂吗
Because you clogged up her bathroom
因为你是一只卡住了她家马桶的
like a radioactive monster
怪兽哥斯拉
Yeah yeah I get it
我听懂了
Howie
华仔
Well hey it's not like cotton candy comes out of you
你拉的屎也没有跟棉花糖一样美啊
Come on let's get you to bed
快点 我们回家睡觉了
You've had a lot to drink
你可喝了不少呢
No more than Penny That's what I'm saying
-我不比佩妮喝得多 -所以说你喝了不少啊
Wait wait wait wait wait
等...等等 等一下
Empty room
空房间
Empty room
空房间
Empty room
空房间
If somebody says "Come in " I'm gonna freak out
如果有人说"请进" 会把我吓死
So Emily
艾米丽
why did you decide to specialize in dermatology
你为什么会选择专攻皮肤学呢
I like cutting people with knives
我喜欢用刀割人
and all the other jobs where you get to do that are illegal
而其它割人的工作都是违法的
You're kidding right
你是开玩笑的吧
She's scary but it's a cute scary
她让人怕怕 不过是可爱的怕怕
Can I say just one more thing
我可以再补充一点吗
I had some kind of food poisoning that day
我那天是食物中毒了
Sure in retrospect gas station sushi
当然现在回想起来 加油站寿司
maybe not the best choice
不是什么明智的选择
Nor was climbing out your window and running away
当然爬出你家窗户逃走也不对
But I think we can all understand how humiliating that was
但我想 大家都能理解那情形有多丢人
and I'd really appreciate it if we could move on
如果咱们能既往不咎 我会非常感激的
Howie we moved on a long time ago
华仔 已经既往不咎一段时间了
I'm just saying We moved on
-我只是说...-已经既往不咎了
Okay Fine
好吧 行
How's your soup
你的汤怎么样
Ah it's all right
还行
They could've filled the bowl a little more
他们可以把碗[马桶]再装得满一点
Excuse me
失陪一下
Where are you going
你去哪里
I need some fresh air
我需要呼吸下新鲜空气
Been there
我当时也是
Oh no
我去
What have I done
我做了什么
地质学
How you feeling
感觉怎样
Not so good
不太好
Are you gonna introduce me to your friend
不向我介绍一下你的这位朋友吗
It's not my friend
这不是我的朋友
Nothing happened
什么事也没有发生
I don't know I heard you reading pretty loud last night
是吗 你昨晚读它的声音可是相当"大"哦
Oh dear Lord
我的老天啊
Where's Amy
艾米呢
After she put you to bed she went home
她把你扶上床休息后就回家了
I should call her and apologize
我应该打电话给她道歉
Oh no What
-不好 -怎么了
Apparently I called Stephen Hawking last night
看来我昨晚打了电话给史蒂芬·霍金
S·W·霍金教授
First new message
第一条新留言
Hawkman
霍哥
It's your old buddy Sheldonoscopy
我是你铁哥们儿谢肠镜啊
How come you didn't pick up the phone
你为什么不接电话呢
Oh right My bad
你的手动不了 我错了
You're awful quiet Everything okay
你出奇的安静啊 还好吗
Not really
不太好
I had a bit of an embarrassing evening
我昨晚丢人丢大了
Ugh Me too What happened
我也是 发生了什么事
I drank alcohol
我喝了酒
and may have left an unfortunate voice mail for Stephen Hawking
给史蒂芬·霍金留了一通很不妙的留言
I wouldn't worry about it
我觉得不用担心
He's got a pretty good sense of humor
他这人幽默感挺强的
Oh I hope so
希望如此
What happened to you last night
你昨晚发生了什么事
Oh well turns out
原来
I'd already met the girl Raj is seeing
我以前见过拉杰的女友
when I did a number on her bathroom
我当时在她家厕所留过号码
And that number was two
而那号码是"大号"
Well you know I've always been a fan
我一直很喜欢尼沙布尔的阿塔尔[诗人]
of a story told by Attar of Nishapur
写的一个故事
about a king
说的是一个国王
who assembled a group of wise men to create a ring
召集一群智者 制作一枚戒指
that would make him happy when he was sad
让他在悲伤时能高兴起来
And that ring
这枚戒指上
was inscribed with the phrase "This too shall pass "
刻了一句话 "一切都会随风而逝"
Hey Cooper Oh my God
-库珀 -老天
I heard you drunk dialed Stephen Hawking last night
我听说你昨晚给霍金打了醉酒电话
Classic
牛逼啊
Get out of here Barry
快走开 巴里
Whatever you say
你说了算
Clogzilla
卡屎拉
Clogzilla That's pretty funny
卡屎拉 挺好笑的
I don't think that's gonna pass
我不觉得有风能刮走"这坨屎"
Next message
下一条留言
It's me again
又是我
I gave up string theory
我放弃弦理论了
You should give up black holes
你也应该放弃黑洞
and we can totally solve crimes together
咱俩搭档绝对是罪案克星
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下一条留言
Do you know what's great
你知道什么超棒吗
Geology
地质学
Look at this geode
看这个晶洞
That's fun to say
这个词读起来真有意思
Gee ode Gee ode
进 洞 井 洞
Next message
下一条留言
Gee ode
精 洞
Gee ode
茎 洞
I kiss girls now
小弟现在会和女生打啵啵了
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下一条留言
Hey guess who I am
猜猜我是谁
Beep bop boop bop
哔哔嘟嘟
I'm you Get it
我是你 懂了吗
Next message
下一条留言
Are you mad at me
你生我的气了吗
Oh no you're mad at me
不好 你生人家的气了
I'm so sorry
真是对不起
Beep bop boop bop
哔哔嘟嘟
Next message
下一条留言
Thiospinel sulfide Thiospinel sulfide
硫硼尖晶石 牛棚鸡鸡石
That's even more fun than "gee ode "
这个念起来比"茎洞"更好玩
Hey did you see The Lego Movie
你看了《乐高大电影》吗
What a jackass
傻逼