生活大爆炸-S01E04_生活大爆炸

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you know I've been thinking about time travel again

我最近一直在想着时光旅行

Why did you hit a roadblock with invisibility

为什么你又撞上看不见的路障了?

Put it on the back burner

暂时先不说那个

Anyway it occurs to me if I ever did perfect a time machine

我想到如果我发明了完美的时间机器

I would just go into the past and give it to myself

我会回到过去把它送给自己

thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place

省得要自己发明它

Interesting

有趣

Yeah it really takes the pressure off

是啊让我减压不少

Sounds like a breakthrough

听起来像是个大突破

Should I call science magazine and tell them to hold the cover

要我打电话给科学杂志让他们留下头版的位置吗?

It's time travel leonard I will have already done that

这可是时间旅行 Leonard 过去的我已经打过了

Then I guess congratulations are in order

那就等着祝贺你啦

No congratulations will have been in order

不过去的你已经祝贺过我了

You know I am not going to enjoy this party

我肯定在派对上不会开心的

I know I'm familiar with you

我知道我了解你

The last department party professor finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes

上次系里的派对 Finkleday教授抓着我谈了45分钟的窑洞挖掘

Yes I was there

我也在场

You know what's interesting about caves leonard

你知道窑洞有什么好玩的吗 Leonard?

What Nothing

- 什么? - 什么也没有

Well then we'll avoid finkleday we'll meet the new department head

那我们躲开他我们会见到新的系主任

congratulate him shake his hand and go

恭喜他跟他握手然后就走

How's this

这样如何?

"Pleased to meet you dr Gablehauser

"见到你很高兴 Gablehauser博士"

"How fortunate for you that the university's "chosen to hire you

"您真幸运学校雇用了您"

despite the fact "that you've done no original research in 25 years

"尽管您25年来都没做出什么原创研究"

"and instead have written a series of popular books "

"而是写了一系列畅销书"

that reduce the great concepts of science "to a series of anecdotes

"将科学这一伟大的概念降格为奇闻轶事"

"each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration "of an average bowel movement

"每则故事都简单到能在一次肠部运动的时间内看完" (就是厕所读物)

Mahalo

Mahalo (夏威夷语的谢谢)

" "Mahalo's" a nice touch

"Mahalo"是不错的修饰

You know there only eight consonants in the hawaiian language

你知道夏威夷语里只有8个辅音吗?

Interesting You should lead with that

有趣你就这么做开场白吧

Oh god look at this buffet

瞧瞧这自助餐

I love america

我爱美国

You don't have buffets in india

印度没自助餐吗?

Of course but it's all indian food

有但都是印度菜

You can't find a bagel in mumbai to save your life

在孟买你可找不到能救命的面包圈

Shmear me

给我涂点酱

Well here's an interesting turn of events

事态的发展真是有趣

What

怎么了?

Howard brought a date

Howard带了女伴?

A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward

可能是他在机器人方面的研究取得了重大进展

Hey what up science bitches

怎样科学怪人们?

May I introduce my special lady friend summer

这位是我特别的女性朋友Summer

Howard I told you touching's extra

Howard 我说了碰我要加钱的

Right Sorry

好抱歉

Here comes our new boss Be polite

我们的新老板来了礼貌点

Hi fellas

大家好

Eric gablehauser Howard wolowitz

- 我是Eric Gablehauser - 我是Howard Wolowitz

Howard nice to meet you And you are

Howard 见到你很高兴你是?

An actual real scientist

一个真正的科学家

How was that

这个开场白怎样?

I can't believe he fired me

我不敢相信他开除我了

Well you did call him a glorified high school science teacher

你说他是被捧出来的高中理科老师

whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts

还说他上一次成功的试验是点燃了自己的屁

In my defense I prefaced that by saying "with all due respect "

但我之前说了"恕我直言"

By aBu 201705

天才也性感第一季第4集

Morning

早

Morning

早

You're making eggs for breakfast

今天早餐你做鸡蛋吃?

This isn't breakfast it's an experiment

这不是早餐这是试验

'Cause it looks a lot like breakfast

但看起来很像早餐

I finally have time to test my hypothesis about the separation of the water molecules

我终于有时间验证我的理论从蛋白质总分离水分子

from the egg proteins and its impact vis a vis taste

以及它对口感的影响

Sounds yummy

听起来真开胃

I look forward to your work with bacon

我很期待你配上熏肉后的成果

As do I

我也是

You know I'm sure if you just apologize to gablehauser he would give you your job back

我相信只要你跟Gablehauser道歉他会让你回去工作的

I don't want my job back

我不想回去工作

I've spent the past three and a half years staring at grease boards full of equations

过去三年半时间我都在瞪着写满方程式的板子上

Before that I spent four years working on my thesis

在那之前我花了四年时间写论文

Before that I was in college and before that I was in the fifth grade

在那之前我在上大学而在大学之前我在上5年级

This is my first d oayff in decades and I'm going to savor it

这是我十几年来第一次休息我要好好享受

Okay

好吧

I'll let you get back to fixing your eggs

那你回去弄你的鸡蛋吧

Not just fixing my eggs I'm fixing everyone's eggs

不只是我的鸡蛋弄的是全人类的蛋

And we all thank you

我们都感激你

use new eggs

要用新鲜鸡蛋

hi Hey I'm running out to the market

嗨我正要去超市

Do you guys need anything

你们要带什么吗?

Oh well this would be one of those circumstances that

这就是那些不熟悉数学规律的人

people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence

会称之为巧合的事件之一了

I'm sorry

你说什么?

I need eggs

我要蛋

Four dozen should suffice

4打就够了

Four dozen

4打?

Yes and evenly distributed amongst brown white

对棕蛋白蛋

free range large extra large and jumbo

走地鸡蛋大鸡蛋加大鸡蛋跟特大鸡蛋各要8个

Okay one more time

好再说一次

Never mind You won't get it right

算了你肯定搞不对

I'd better come with you

我最好跟你一起去

Oh yay

好呀

How come you didn't go into work today

你今天怎么没去上班?

I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds

我在休假因为我不愿向平庸之流屈服

So you got canned huh

你给开除了?

Theoretical physicists do not get canned

理论上说物理学家不会给开除...

but yeah

但你说对了

Well maybe it's all for the best

可能这样最好

You know I always say when one door closes another one opens

我相信一扇门关上了总会有另外一扇门打开的

No it doesn'T

不不是的

Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved

除非两扇门用继电器连接而且还装有传感器

No no I meant

不我是说...

or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door

或者一扇门关上时产生的空气压力作用于第二扇门引致...

Never mind

算了

Slow down

慢点

Slow down Please slow down

慢点! 拜托慢点!

We're fine

没事啦!

You're not leaving yourself enough space between cars

你跟车都不保持足够的距离

Oh sure I am

我有啊!

No no let me do the math for you

不我给你算算

This car weighs let's say 4 000 pounds

就算这车重4000磅

Now add 140 for me 120 for you

我140磅你120磅

120 Oh I'm sorry

- 120? - 不好意思

Did I insult you

冒犯你了吗?

Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth

你的体重跟自我价值有关系?

Well yeah

当然

Interesting

有趣

Anyway that gives us a total weight of let's say 4 400 pounds

那么我们就算总重4400磅吧

Let's say 4 390

算4390磅

Fine

好

We're traveling forward at good lord 51 miles an hour

目前时速是老天啊 51英里/时

Now let's assume that your brakes are new and the calipers are aligned

假设你的刹车是新的卡钳也是校准的

Still by the time we come to a stop

当我们停下时

we'll be occupying the same space as that buick in front of us

我们占有的空间跟前面那辆别克是一样的

an impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death mutilation

因此我们会在短时间内给压成稀泥死得很惨...

oh look they built a new putt putt course

哇看他们在铺新的迷你高尔夫场地

This is great

真好

Look at me

看看我

I'm in the real world of ordinary people just living their ordinary colorless workaday lives

我生活在普通人的平凡世界中过着他们无趣平常的一天

Thank you

谢谢

No thank you

不谢谢

And thank you ordinary person

谢谢普通人

Hey you want to hear an interesting thing about tomatoes

你想知道关于番茄的趣闻不?

Uh no no not really

不不想

Listen didn't you say you needed some eggs

你不是要买鸡蛋啊?

Yes but anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of bacterial growth

对但任何对细菌繁殖学稍有了解的人

knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on the way out of the supermarket

都会在出去结账时才买冰柜里的食物

Oh okay well then maybe you should start heading on out then

那好那你现在就该准备出去了

No this is fun

不这样很好玩啊

Oh the thing about tomatoes and I think you'll really enjoy this

关于番茄的事我觉得你肯定会喜欢的

is they're shelved with the vegetables but they're technically a fruit

它们给摆在蔬菜栏里但事实上却是一种水果

Oh interesting Isn't it

- 真有意思 - 是吧?

No I mean what you find enjoyable

不我指的是你觉得有趣的事情很有趣

Oh boy

天啊

What now

又怎么了?

Well there's some value to taking a multivitamin but the human body can only absorb so much

服用维生素剂有一定价值但人体能吸收的量是有限的

What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine

你买的东西会变成昂贵的尿液配料

Well maybe that's what I was going for

也许我就是要这个

Well then you'll want some manganese

那你就买锰

Well that was fun

刚刚很好玩呀

Maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those big warehouse stores

也许明天我们能一起去那种仓储式商店

Oh I don't know sheldon

我不知道哦 Sheldon

It's going to take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today

我要花一段时间才能从今天度过的乐趣中恢复过来

Are you sure

你确定?

There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk

大宗采购有很多优势呀

For example I noticed that you purchase your tampons one month supply at a time

比如说我发现你一个月采购一次卫生棉条

What

什么?

Think about it

想想啊

It's a product that doesn't spoil and you're going to be needing them for at least the next 30 years

这种产品不会变质而且你接下来至少30年都要用它

You want me to buy 30 years worth of tampons

你要我买30年份的卫生棉条?

Well 30 35

30或35年

When did your mother go into menopause Okay

- 你母亲什么时候绝经的? - 好了

I'm not talking about this with you

我才不跟你说这个

Oh penny this is a natural human process and we're talking about statistically significant savings

这是人类自然发展进程而且你能省下一大笔钱

Now if you assume 15 tampons per cycle and a 28 day cycle

假设你每次用15条 28天一次...

are you fairly regular

你经期正常吗?

Okay no warehouse store but we're still on for putt putt golf right

好吧不去仓储式商店但我们还是一起去迷你高尔夫吧?

Hey I just ran into penny

我刚碰到Penny

She seemed upset about something

她好像有点心烦

I think it's her time of the month

可能她大姨妈来了吧

I marked the calendar for future reference

我在日历上做记录以备参考

What's with the fish

鱼是怎么回事?

It's an experiment

是实验呀

What happened to your scrambled egg research

你的炒蛋研究呢?

Oh that was a dead end

那是死路一条

Scrambled eggs are as good as they're ever going to be

炒蛋就这样啦

So fish

那...鱼?

I read an article about japanese scientists who inserted dna from luminous jellyfish into other animals

我看到一篇文章说日本科学家将发光水母的DNA注入到其他动物体内

and I thought "hey fish nightlights

我就想 "对哦夜光鱼灯"

" Fish nightlights

夜光鱼灯?

It's a billion dollar idea

这是个能发大财的主意

Mum's the word

沉默是金

Sheldon are you sure you don't want to just apologize to gablehauser and get your job back

Sheldon 你确定不要跟系主任道歉然后回去上班啊?

Oh no no no I have too much to do

不不不我有太多事情要做

Like luminous fish

比如说发光鱼

I'm sorry I didn'T

对不起我不知道

that's just the beginning

这只是个开头

I also have an idea for a bulk mail order feminine hygiene company

我还有个大宗女性护理用品邮购公司的设想

Oh glow in the dark tampons

夜光卫生棉条!

Leonard we're gonna be rich

Leonard 我们会暴富

Thanks for coming on such short notice

谢谢你这么快赶过来

Well you did the right thing calling

你给我打电话是对的

I didn't know what else to do

我不知道还能怎么办

He's lost all focus

他失去生活的重心了

Every day he's got a new obsession

每天他都沉迷于一个新想法

This is a particularly disturbing one

这一个让我特别困扰

Mommy

妈妈?

Hi baby

宝贝!

你给我妈打电话了?!

Oh you got yourself a loom How nice

你给自己弄了个纺织机? 真棒!

Thank you

谢谢

Honey why'd you get a loom

亲爱的为什么要弄台纺织机?

I was working with luminous fish and I thought hey

我在研究发光鱼所以我想到...

"loom "

"纺织机" (英语中"纺织机"与"发光"发音部分相同)

Mom what are you doing here

你来这干嘛妈妈?

Leonard called me

Leonard给我打电话了

I know but why

我知道为什么?

Because one of the great minds of the 21st century is raising glow in the dark fish

因为21世纪最聪明的脑袋用在了养夜光鱼

and weaving serapes

和编织毛毯上

This is not a serape this is a poncho

这不是毛毯这是雨布

A serape is open at the sides a poncho is closed

毛毯不收边雨布收边

This is a poncho

所以这是雨布

And neither is a reason to call someone's mother

不管是什么都不能成为你打电话给别人母亲的理由

Really When was the last time you left the house

是吗? 你上一次出家门是什么时候?

I went to the market with penny

跟Penny去超市

Yeah that was three weeks ago

对那是三周以前的事了

Well then buckle up in the next four to eight days she's going to get very crabby

那么小心啦接下来的4到8天她会变得很暴躁

Sweetheart your little friend is concerned about you

亲爱的你的朋友很担心你

Yes well I'm not a child I'm a grown man capable of living my life as I see fit

但我是成年人了我能过自己想要的生活

And I certainly don't need someone telling on me to my mother

我也绝不需要有人跟我母亲打小报告!

Wait where are you going

等等你去哪?

To my room and no one's allowed in

我房间! 闲人免进!

oh he gets his temper from his daddy

他的脾气像他爸爸

He's got my eyes I see

- 眼睛像我 - 原来如此

All that science stuff that comes from jesus

他的科学头脑是上帝赐予的

Sheldon your mom made dinner

Sheldon 你妈妈做了晚饭

I'm not hungry

我不饿!

Oh leonard don't trouble yourself He's stubborn

Leonard 你别管了他很固执的

He may stay in there till the rapture

他可能在那待到天使降临

We so sure that's a bad thing

确定那是件坏事?

I tell you I love the boy to death but he has been difficult

跟你说我很爱那孩子但他很难相处

since he fell out of me at the k mart

自从他在Kmart超市从我身体里滑出来后

Excuse me for being so bold but I now see where sheldon gets his smoldering good looks

原谅我的无礼但我终于知道Sheldon 英俊的外表是从哪继承的了

Honey that ain't gonna work but you keep tryin'

亲爱的这不会起作用的但你可以继续尝试

I made chicken

我做了鸡肉

I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic

我希望这不在你们民族觉得神圣的动物之列

You know we have an indian gentleman at our church

我们教堂里有一个印度人

a dr Patel it's a beautiful story

Patel医生这是个感人的故事

The lord spoke to him and moved him to give us all 20% off on lasik

上帝给与他启示把他带来我们身边让我们享受8折激光矫正视力手术

you know those that needed it

你知道给那些需要做这手术的人

Leonard That is a lovely story

真是个感人的故事

Um are we gonna do anything about sheldon

Sheldon的事我们不用做什么吗?

Oh we will

当然要

You have to take your time with sheldon

对付Sheldon要慢慢来

His father god rest his soul used to always say to me

他死去的爸爸过去总跟我说

"mary you have to take your time with sheldon "

"Mary 对Sheldon要耐心"

Sounds like a wise man

听起来是个睿智的人啊

Oh not so wise

没那么睿智

He once tried to fight a bobcat for some licorice

他有一次为了甘草跟山猫打了一架

So everybody grab a plate and a pretty place mat that shelly wove

大家拿盘子还有Sheldon织的餐垫

Has shelly ever freaked out like this before

他以前也这么发作过吗?

Oh all the time

总是这样

I remember one summer when he was 13

我记得他13岁时的夏天

he built a small nuclear reactor in the shed

他在小屋里做了一个小型原子反应堆

and told everybody he was gonna provide free electricity for the whole town

然后跟大家说他会为全镇人提供免费电力

Well the only problem was he had no what you call "fissionable" materials

问题是他没有你们所说的"可裂变物质"

Anyway when he went on the internets to get some

当他试图上网采购时

a man from the government came by and sat him down real gentle

一个政府官员来访很温柔地让他坐下

and told him it's against the law to have yellow cake uranium in a shed

告诉他私人持有铀精矿是违法的

Well what happened

然后呢?

Well poor boy had a fit

发作了呀

Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray

把自己锁在屋里做了个音速死亡放射线仪

A death ray

死亡放射线?

Well that's what he called it

他是这么叫的

Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids

那玩意都阻止不了隔壁的小孩

It pissed our dog off to no end

倒是让家里的狗折腾个没完

You know you two make a cute couple

知道吗你俩真是可爱的一对

uh no We're not

不我们不是...

we're not not a couple We're singles

不是一对我们都是单身

Two singles Yeah

- 两个单身 - 对

Like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that

像是那种...独立包装的芝士片

we're friends

我们是朋友

Did I pluck a nerve there

我是不是踩到地雷了?

Oh yeah Okay

- 对 - 好吧

All right everybody it's time to eat

好吧大家该吃饭了

Oh lord we thank you for this meal and all of your bounty

主啊感谢您赐予我们晚餐及您所有的恩赐

And we pray that you help sheldon get back on his rocker

我们祈求您帮助Sheldon重新振作

Now after a moment of silent meditation I'm gonna end with "in jesus' name "

沉思一阵之后我会以"以主之名"结束

but you two don't feel any obligation to join in

但你们俩不一定要跟着一起说

Unless of course the holy spirit moves you

当然除非你被圣灵感动

Oh my god this is the best cobbler I've ever had

哇这是我吃过最好吃的厚皮馅饼

It was always sheldon's favorite

Sheldon最喜欢吃这个

You know w thathe secret ingredient is

你知道秘方是什么吗?

Love Lard

- 爱? - 猪油

Hey look who's come

看看谁来了...

You'll spook him

嘘你会吓到他的

He's like a baby deer you got to let him come to you

他就跟小鹿似的你得让他过来亲近你

This is ridiculous

太荒谬了

Damn it sheldon snap out of it

够了! Sheldon 振作起来!

You're a physicist you belong at the university doing research not hiding in your room

你是物理学家该在学校做实验而不是躲房间里

you don't hunt do you

你不打猎的是不是?

good morning snickerdoodle

早上好小饼干

Morning

早

Oh well that looks awful fancy What is that

那看起来好奇特啊是什么呢?

It's my idea of what dna would look like in a silicon based life form

我设想的硅系生物DNA模型

But intelligently designed by a creator right

但是由造物主巧妙地设计?

What do you want mom

你想干什么呀妈妈?

You know how your daddy used to say that

你知道你爸爸经常说

you can only fish for so long before you got to throw a stick of dynamite in the water

你只能在把炸药扔进鱼塘之前钓那么一会儿鱼

Yeah

记得

Well I'm done fishing

我钓够鱼了

You put those on

你穿上衣服

What for

为什么?

Because you're gonna go down to your office

因为你要回到办公室

you're gonna apologize to your boss and get your job back

跟你的老板道歉回去上班

不要

I'm sorry did I start that sentence with the words "if it please your highness"

不好意思我刚刚是以 "若尊贵的陛下愿意"开始的吗?

I'm not going to apologize I didn't say anything that wasn't true

我不要道歉我说的都是实话

Now you listen here

你听好

I have been telling you since you were four years old

我从你4岁开始就跟你说

it's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out

比大家都聪明不是问题但你不能到处显摆

Why not

为什么?

Because people don't like it

因为别人不喜欢!

Remember all the ass kickings you got from the neighbor kids

记得邻居的孩子欺负你的事吗?

now let's get crackin'

动作快点

Shower shirt shoes and let's shove off

沐浴更衣然后我们就出发

There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked

如果那该死的死亡放射线能用我就不会挨打了

Problem solved

问题解决了

Really

真的?

That's impressive

真厉害

Leonard the lord never gives us more than we can handle

Leonard 主自有分寸

Thankfully he blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup

幸亏我另外两个孩子傻得像头驴

Excuse me dr Gablehauser are you busy

抱歉 Gablehauser博士您在忙吗?

Well actually

实际上...

sheldon he's just doodlin'

Sheldon 他只是在乱画而已

Get in here

进来

Dr Gablehauser

Gablehauser博士

Dr Cooper

Cooper博士

Let's go baby we're losing daylight

说吧宝贝天要黑了

as you know several weeks ago in our first encounter

你知道几周前我们第一次见面时

we may have gotten off on the wrong foot when I called you an idiot

我们可能没给彼此留下好印象我称你为白痴

And I just wanted to say that I was wrong

我只想跟你道歉...

to point it out

指出这一点是我不对

I'm sorry we haven't been introduced

抱歉我们还不认识

Dr Eric gablehauser

我是Eric Gablehauser博士

Mary cooper sheldon's mom

我叫Mary Cooper 是Sheldon的妈妈

Now that's impossible

不可能吧

you must have had him when you were a teenager

你怀他的时候还是个少女吧

Oh aren't you sweet

你嘴真甜

His father's dead

他父亲过世了

Recently Long enough

- 最近? - 够久的了

Please

请坐

sheldon shouldn't you be working

Sheldon 你不该去上班啊?

Okay

好的

Hey how did it go

怎么样?

I got my job back

我可以回来上班了

Really What happened

真的? 怎么回事?

I'm not quite sure

我不太清楚

It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me

其中包含的人类经验我从未经历过

Well that narrows it down

那还真是缩小范围了

I'm very proud of you honey

我为你骄傲宝贝

You showed a lot of courage today

你今天表现出了极大的勇气

Thanks mom

谢谢你妈妈

Mom

妈?

Is dr Gablehauser going to be my new daddy

Gablehauser博士会是我的新爸爸吗?

We'll see

看看再说吧

Sleep tight

好梦