生活大爆炸-S08E02_生活大爆炸

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I recently read that during World War Two

我最近读到在二战期间

Joseph Stalin had a research program

约瑟夫·斯大林曾有一项研究计划

to create supersoldiers

为了制造超级士兵

by having women impregnated by gorillas

要让女人怀上大猩猩的孩子

What a sick use of science

太变态的滥用科学了

Hey as long as the baby's healthy

只要孩子健康就没事啦

I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals

不知道斯大林有没想过使用其他动物

Hippos are the deadliest creature

河马是杀伤性最高的动物

A half human half hippo soldier would be pretty badass

半人半河马应该会是狠角色吧

Yes but when they're hungry hungry

但当它们饿饿的时候

you can stop them with marbles

你用弹珠就能阻止它们了

一种4名玩家控制河马头抢吃弹珠的桌游

Yeah the correct animal

是的制造跨族超级士兵的

for interspecies supersolider is koala

最佳选择是考拉

You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked

你可以做出一个超可爱让人无法下手的军队

But half man half owl could fly

但半人半猫头鹰可以飞...

The answer is cuddly soldiers with big flat noses

正解就是让人想抱的大扁鼻子士兵

Moving on

下个话题

So Penny when's the new job start

佩妮新工作什么时候开始

Next Monday

下周一

Did you get a chance to look over the materials I gave you

你找时间看了我给你的材料了吗

Uh not yet but I will

还没但我会看的

Great When

很好什么时候

I said I'll get to it

我说了我会去看

I'm sensing awkwardness am I right

我好像感觉到场面有些尴尬是吧

Yes

是的

Swish

厉害

I don't want to be pushy

我不想一直逼你

but you've never done pharmaceutical sales before

但你之前从未接触过医药销售

It seems like you could use this time to get a head start

你可以用这段时间领先其他人啊

Well the first few weeks will be all training

前几周都是在培训

They'll tell me everything I need to know

他们会教我一切需要了解的信息

But imagine how impressed they'd be if you showed up

但你想象一下你去的时候已经对材料很熟

already familiar with the material

他们肯定会对你刮目相看

Okay so what you want me to be like a teacher's pet

所以是怎样你想让我当老师的小马屁精吗

Couldn't hurt

又没坏处

Mm I don't know

不知道啊

Who here has ever been hurt

在座这里有谁

because they were the teacher's pet

因为当老师的马屁精被欺负过

It was like the rest of the class wanted Ms McDonald

感觉就像班上其他同学想要老师

to forget the quiz

忘了有考试

生

活

大

爆

炸

第八季第二集

Mrs Davis

戴维斯小姐

Guess who

你猜是谁

Dr Cooper

库伯博士

That's right good job

没错干得好

Hello

你好

Uh you wanted to see me

你想见我吗

Yes Uh welcome back

是的欢迎回来

Thank you

谢谢

I assume you'd like to reopen our dialogue

我想你想要再开始

about the university forcing me to continue with string theory

大学逼我继续研究弦理论的谈话是吗

You mean the dialogue that went

你是指谈话过程只有

"Please " "No " "Please " "No " "Please " "No "

"拜托""不行"这两个词来回重复的那次吗

That's the one

没错

I believe you went last so uh please

我记得上一次最后是你回的所以... 拜托

Dr Cooper while you were away we came up with a solution

库伯博士在你不在的时候我们想出了

that would allow you to change your field of study

让你可以改变研究领域的方法了

Pouting and running away actually worked

撅嘴逃跑真的管用啊

Yeah I must say that may not be a lesson

不得不说你可千万记得

you want to reinforce with me

不要再逼我干嘛了

So um what is the solution

所以解决方式是什么

Currently you're being paid under a grant

目前大学给你的研究基金是

to specifically research string theory

只能做特定领域研究的

If we promote you to junior professor

如果我们将你升为初级教授

you'll be able to choose

这样你就能

whatever field of research you'd like

想研究什么就研究什么

But if I'm a professor then I'll have to teach a class

但如果我是教授我就得带学生了

That is correct

没错

So your solution is to promote me and pay me more money

所以你的解决方法就是给我升职给我加薪

so that I can impart my knowledge

然后让我能把我的学识

to the next generation of scientists

传授给下一代的科学家们吗

Yes

没错

You people are sick

你们这帮人真变态

Hey Ready to go to lunch

准备好去吃午饭了吗

Just give me a minute

再给我一分钟

I'm stimulating the pleasure cells of this starfish

我在刺激海星的快感细胞

I just need to turn it off

等我关了就行了

What happens if you don't

如果你不关掉会怎么样

Then I have to sit through lunch

那我就得边吃午饭

knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am

边想着这海星过得比我还"爽"

Is Bernadette meeting us at the restaurant

伯纳黛特会在餐厅跟我们碰面吗

Uh no Actually I didn't invite her

不会其实我没叫她

How come

为什么

Well ever since she helped me get this job

自从她介绍了我这份工作

she won't stop bugging me

她就一直不停地烦我

Well I think she just wants you to do well

她只想你能做好这份工作

and she's worried that you won't

而且她也担心你会失败吧

'cause you were just a stunningly poor waitress

因为你真是个超烂的服务员

That is not true

才不是呢

I'm still waiting on my mini corndogs from two years ago

我到现在都还在等两年前跟你点的玉米热狗呢

I told you they'll be right out

我跟你说了很快会给你上

Okay so no Bernadette

好吧没有伯纳黛特

Well you saw her the other night Am I wrong

那晚你也看见她那个样子啦难道是我错吗

No I just

没有啊我只是...

I feel kind of uncomfortable talking about her like this

我觉得这样说她有点不好

Usually when someone's being talked about behind their back

通常有人在背后说其他人坏话时

it's me and it's right in front of my face

都是说我的坏话而且还当着我的面说

I I'm sorry I just need a little break from her

抱歉我只是想躲开她一阵子

I understand

我懂

You know there is some research that indicates

你知道吗有些研究显示

that sharing negative attitudes about a third party

分享对第三方的负面看法

can be a powerful bonding force between two friends

能够加深两个朋友之间的友谊吗

So what are you saying

所以你是什么意思

I'm saying in the spirit of science

我的意思是为了科学

what is that little skank's problem

那个小婊砸到底有啥好不满的

So I've been trying to come up

我一直想给

with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily

我和艾米丽取一个可爱的情侣昵称

What do you like better

你觉得哪一个好

Emippali

艾米帕里

or Koothrapemily

还是库萨帕米丽

Why is it your last name and her first name

为什么一定是你的姓和她的名的组合

Oh well her last name is Sweeney

她姓斯威尼

and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeney

库萨帕威尼听起来不大对劲儿

peeney音同peeny 鸡鸡的意思

Hey how'd it go with human resources

跟人力资源部谈得怎么样了

Awful

很糟糕

Yeah they're allowing me to move on from string theory

虽然他们同意让我研究其他理论

but they made me a junior professor

但是他们升我当初级教授

and are requiring me to teach a class

这样我就必须给学生上课

I don't understand Why is it bad that you have to teach

我不明白了上课有什么不好

What a stupid question

愚蠢的问题

The kids are gonna love him

学生们绝对会"喜欢"他

I can't believe I have to waste my time

我不敢相信我得浪费我的时间

babysitting a bunch of grad students

照顾一群研究生

who probably think dark matter is what's in their diapers

他们可能觉得暗物质就是尿片里的屎尿

This might not be that bad

没那么糟糕

Uh you like telling people they're wrong

你喜欢指出别人的错误

Wrong

错

Just because I enjoyed that one doesn't mean I always do

我喜欢这么做并不代表我会想整天这么做

You enjoy giving people grades

你喜欢给别人打分

A valid point but unoriginal B minus

观点正确但是非原创 B-

And you love the sound of your own voice

你喜欢你自己的声音

Yeah well of course I do

对没错我喜欢

Listen to it

听听

It's like an earful of melted caramel

就像听到了融化的焦糖

Look most importantly

最重要的是

this will let you move on and study dark matter

这样你才能继续研究暗物质

It is true that many of my heroes have taken students

我有很多偶像倒是都曾给予过

under their wings

学生帮助[放在翅膀下]

Feynman Einstein Professor X

费因曼爱因斯坦 X教授

X教授即查尔斯塞维尔 X战警学校的校长及创办人

费因曼美国著名物理学家

Humorously

有趣的是

in the case of Professor X

对于X教授来说

some of his students actually had wings

他的一些学生还真的有翅膀

That's rich

真有意思

I'll use that one to lighten the mood

等全班学生在期中考试挂科之后

after my entire class fails the midterm

我会用这个笑话来逗笑他们

Measuring starfish serotonin levels in response to

通过使用1.2摩尔的快感细胞刺激

one point two molar stimulation of pleasure cells

测量海星的血清素等级

You like that don't you

你喜欢这样对吧

That's right say my name

没错说我的名字

Hey what's going on Not much

-还好吗 -还行

You want to get a drink later

等会儿要去喝一杯吗

Just the two of us

就我俩

No Penny

不叫佩妮吗

Not tonight I'm a little frustrated with her

今晚不叫她我对她有点失望

Because you got her the job and you think

因为你帮她找到工作

she should be working harder to prepare for it

你觉得她应该好好准备

So it's not just me You see it too

原来不光是我你也看到了

I do I see it

对我也看到了

It's driving me crazy

快把我逼疯了

Just this afternoon I saw on Instagram

今天下午我在她的相册里看见

that instead of studying she went out to lunch

她没有好好学习还跑出去吃午餐

and got a manicure

还去做了美甲

That's outrageous

太过分了

I know

对啊

If she doesn't do well

如果她做不好

th this could reflect poorly on you

也会坏了你的名声

Exactly Does she not realize it or does she not care

是啊她是不知道还是不在乎

I don't know

我不知道

The important thing is I am here for you

重要的是我支持你

so we can mutually disparage this unpleasing third party

所以我们可以一起鄙视这个讨厌的第三方

Hey We just wanted to see how your class was going

我们来看看你的课上得怎么样了

Where is everybody

学生呢

There is no class

没有学生

Did you send everyone to the principal's office already

你这么快就把所有人都送去校长办公室了吗

No one signed up

没人报名

Well that's not your fault

这不是你的错

I called the department secretary to see what happened

我打电话问学院秘书是怎么回事

Apparently I have a reputation for being obnoxious

显然全校的人都认为我很讨厌

What

不会吧

Hey Sheldon I'm sorry

谢尔顿真是抱歉

No it's fine

别没事的

Now I can devote all my time to dark matter

现在我可以全身心投入到暗物质的研究中了

Aw you brought cookies for everyone

你还给大家带了饼干

Oh yes Fig Newtons

对 "无花果牛顿"饼干

I was going to ask them which scientist both helped

我本来打算问他们哪个科学家

to develop calculus

既对微积分有贡献

and had a famous cookie named after him

又有一款饼干以他命名

And then after someone said "Newton "

等有人回答"牛顿"

I was going to tell them they're wrong

我就告诉他们错了

The cookies are named after a town in Massachusetts

这个饼干是用马萨诸塞州的一个镇命名的

And then I'd throw the cookies away

然后我再把饼干扔了

Hey what if I took your class

我来听你的课怎么样

Why would you do that

你为什么这么做

Yeah why would you do that What's wrong with you

-你为什么这么做 -你脑子出什么问题

I'm thinking about getting my doctorate

我想拿到博士学位

and he wants to teach why not

他想要教课正好啊

Oh Howard

霍华德

I appreciate the gesture

感谢你的提议

but this is a graduate level physics class

但这是研究生阶段的物理课程

I don't think you'd understand

我觉得你根本无法理解

a single thing I was talking about

我所讲的任何内容

Ask why not again I've got an answer

再问一遍为什么不能来我有答案了

Sheldon I'm more than smart enough to take your class

谢尔顿我的智商来听你的课绰绰有余了

不可能

Yes

真的

How would you determine the ground state

在没有精确解的情况下

of a quantum system with no exact solution

你如何确定量子系统的基态

I would guess a wave function and then vary its parameters

我会任意猜测一个基态波函数通过更改其参数

until I found the lowest energy solution

找出能量最低的量子态

Do you know how to integrate X squared times E

你知道怎么不查书也能求出

to the minus X without looking it up

x平方乘e到负x的积分

I'd use Feynman's trick

我会用费曼的秘诀

differentiate under the integral sign

积分符号内取微分

Okay

不错嘛

What is the correct interpretation of quantum mechanics

量子力学的正确诠释是什么

Since every interpretation gives exactly the same answer

每一种诠释对于每一次测量

to every measurement they are all equally correct

给出的答案都一样所以它们同等正确

However I know you believe in the Many Worlds Interpretation

但是我知道你支持的是多宇宙诠释

so I'll say that Now do you think I'm smart enough

所以我会顺着你说现在你觉得我够聪明了吗

不

Oh come on You might've gone to school

拜托你也许就比我

for a couple more years than me but guess what

多上了几年学但是

engineers are just as smart as physicists

工程师和物理学家一样聪明

You take that back

你把这话收回去

不

So after drinks with Bernadette

和伯纳黛特喝了几杯后

I get home and Penny calls to complain about her

我刚到家佩妮就打来电话抱怨伯纳黛特

And then while I'm talking to Penny

我正和佩妮说着呢

I get a text from Bernadette

伯纳黛特又发来短信

Wh I'm trying to prepare my lesson plan for Howard

我正为霍华德准备教学计划呢

Why are you telling me this

你干嘛告诉我这些废话

Because it's taken 15 years

因为虽然晚了15年

but high school is finally awesome

但高中生活终于开始精彩了

I love them both

虽然我爱她们俩

but I'm in the center now and I love that even more

但现在我成了团体中心我更爱这种感觉

Amy please I am trying to figure out a way

艾米拜托我正努力寻找

to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine

一种用智力阉割我好友的方法

But I'm just Not now

-可人家... -别烦我了

You better watch that attitude buddy

注意你的态度老弟

You're dating the popular girl now

你女朋友现在可是校园红人呢

You're up late

你还没睡啊

Oh I'm working on my lesson plan for Wolowitz

我在为沃罗威茨量身定制教学计划

He is going to be so lost

保证他跟听天书一样

Look at this section over here

快看这部分内容

Even I don't really understand it

连我都不懂是什么

Sheldon why are you doing this

谢尔顿你为什么要这么做

I'm a teacher Leonard

我是一名教师莱纳德

It's my job

这是我的工作

No I I mean

不我是说

why are you going to so much trouble

你为什么要费尽周折

to prove that you're smarter than Wolowitz

来证明你比沃罗威茨聪明呢

Oh it's no trouble it's actually a pleasure

完全不费劲我高兴着呢

You want to know what I think

你知道我怎么想吗

I think the idea that someone could be as smart as you

我觉得一想到某人可能和你一样聪明

or even smarter scares the pants off you

甚至比你聪明你就怕得要死

and you can't deal with it

你接受不了这个事实

Interesting point

想法很有趣

Wh You're suggesting

你是在暗示

that I have emotional issues below my consciousness

潜意识里我的情绪

which drive my behavior

影响了我的行动

thus causing me to lash out at anything or anyone

导致我大肆打击任何

that threatens my intellectual superiority

威胁到我智商优势的人或事吗

Might be something to think about

你好好思考一下吧

Leonard Yeah

-莱纳德 -什么

Howard's allergic to peanuts

霍华德对花生过敏

How can I use that against him

我怎样才能用这个对付他

Okay now that everyone's here we can begin

既然大家都来齐了我们可以上课了

Before we do I just talked to Leonard

上课之前我要说我刚和莱纳德谈过了

And if you're gonna

如果你准备

spend all your time trying to belittle me

刻意让这门课难到超乎常理

by making this class unnecessarily hard

以此来贬低我的智商的话

then I'm out

那我不上了

But if you're interested in making

但如果你真心想要

a sincere effort to be a good teacher

做一个好老师

then I'm willing to give this a shot

那我也愿意给你个机会

I suppose that's a fair request

这个提议很合理

There's no reason we both can't benefit from this experience

我们俩都可以从这件事里受益

Okay Okay

-好吧 -就这样

Well then uh first things first

那我们先上课

Um are you familiar with the Brachistochrone problem

你对最速降线问题熟悉吗

I am Good

-很熟悉 -很好

And how it relates to the calculus of variations

那它和变分法之间的关系呢

It's an inverted cycloid

是一条翻转摆线

Wonderful

不错不错

Now what about Euler Lagrange theorems

那么你了解欧拉拉格朗日定理吗

That's where I'm a little fuzzy

这我就有点小困惑了

Ha I knew it All right

我就知道好了

We have a lot of information to cover before your first test

在第一次考试前我们需要大量补充这方面的知识

Which by the way is in eight minutes

对了考试就在8分钟之后

The good news is I'm grading on a curve

好消息是我的评分标准是曲线评分

so you're pretty much guaranteed a C

所以你卷子上肯定有个"C"

All I do is win win win

老子这辈子只想赢

DJ KHALED All I Do Is Win

No matter what

无论如何

What are you doing

你这是在干什么

Everybody hands go up up

大家一起高举双手

And they stay there

保持别动

What are you doing

你在干什么

If you're gonna be a crappy teacher

如果你要当个烂老师

then I'm gonna be a crappy student

那我就当个烂学生

Ludacris going in on the verse

路达克里斯来唱副歌

'Cause I never been defeated and I won't stop now

我无所不胜永不停止

Will you stop it

停下来

This is a classroom

这是教室

This is not American Bandstand Okay

不是《美国大舞台》好了

Now where was I

好了我说到哪里呢

Let's see

我看看

Oh yes Over here

对了就是这里

You

你

What are you doing now

你又在干什么

Making a straw

折一个吸管

Why

为什么

So I can shoot you with a spitball

我就可以用口水球射你了

You're not going to do that and I'll tell you why

你不能这么做我来告诉你为什么

This is an institution of higher learning

这里是高等学府的课堂

I am your professor

我是你的教授

and you're going to treat me with the prop

你对待我的态度应该是...

You shot your spit in my mouth

你的口水吐进我的嘴里了

Is that gonna be on the test

考试会考这个吗

Because I don't think I can do that again

我想我没法再做到一次了

Hey girlfriend

好闺蜜

Can I get a what what

可以来个那啥啥吗

What

啥

Close enough

差不多了

Um I was just calling to see what you were up tonight

我打来想问问你今晚有什么安排

Thought maybe we could hit up Color Me Mine

咱们可以去整整"自己动手做彩陶"

maybe sneak in some Pinot Greej Whatevs

偷偷带进去一些葡萄酒随便啦

Uh thanks but I think I'm gonna stay in

多谢了但我要留在家

and go over the stuff Bernadette gave me

学习伯纳黛特给我的资料

Oh Oh I hear you

哦这样啊

Try and get that nag off your back right

好让唠叨鬼不再烦你对吧

I mean you're not a bicycle

你又不是单车

why's she riding you like that

她凭什么这样"骑压"你

No I think she was just trying to help

不我想她只是想帮忙

Plus I really want to do well at this job So

而且我想做好这份工作

Okay good luck And call me later

那祝你好运晚点打给我

you know if you decide she's a bitch or something

如果你要抱怨她是个贱人什么的

Hey girlfriend

好闺蜜

Hey Amy

艾米

Tonight You me Color Me Mine

今晚你和我 "自己动手做彩陶"

Maybe we sneak in some pinot make it Color Me Wine

也许带点葡萄酒进去整个"自己动嘴喝彩酒"

That sounds fun but I promised Penny

听起来很好玩但我答应了佩妮

I'd come by and help her study

过去帮助她学习

Oh Well good luck getting her to do that

那只能祝你好运逮到她

She's probably off getting another manicure

她可能又出去修指甲了

You remember when she did that

你记得她那次这样做吗

You remember

记得吗

I was probably being too hard on her

我可能对她太严厉了

We talked we're good

我们谈过了没事了

Oh Great

太好了

I'm happy for you guys

我为你们高兴

You know when the two of you aren't getting along

你俩合不来时

it puts me in a really weird position

我夹在中间好难做人啊

Well don't worry everything's back to normal

不用担心一切恢复正常了

You mean like where she's nice to your face

你是指她表面上又跟你好了吗

Okay got it Bye

明白了拜

Hey boyfriend

好男友

Can't talk Spitball

没时间说话口水球

Probably gonna die

可能会死

Well

怎么样

Sheldon I I promise

谢尔顿我发誓

Your uvula does not have an STD

你的小舌没得性病

Are you sure

你确定吗

It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to

感觉没有以前那么纯洁了

You reported me to human resources

你把我告到人事部去了吗

You violated the sanctity of my mouth

你亵渎了我口腔的圣洁

Well I dropped your class so I hope you're happy

我不上你的课了希望你开心

I told you you weren't smart enough to take it

我跟你说过你不够聪明不能上我的课

I'm smart enough Sheldon

我够聪明了谢尔顿

Asking me a bunch of questions

问我一大堆

about a topic I'm not familiar with

我不熟悉的课题的问题

doesn't prove anything

并不能证明什么

I could do the same to you

我也可以问你

Yeah Try me

是吗试试

Okay

好的

You enjoy making fun of engineering so much

你非常享受取笑工程学

how do you quantify the strength of materials

那么你如何量化材料强度

Young's modulus

杨氏模量

Is that right Yeah

-对吗 -对

Okay how do you prevent eddy currents in a transformer

你如何预防变压器中的涡流损耗

Laminate the core material

层压芯材

Come on give him a hard one

拜托问个难的

That was a hard one

这就是难的

All right

好吧

How does the flow rate in a pipe depend on its diameter

管直径如何决定流量

You don't know do you

你不知道对吗

What's the matter smart guy

怎么啦聪明人

Don't know Poiseuille's law

不知道泊肃叶定律了吧

Thank goodness I got it

谢天谢地出来了

Now I can quit checking my stool

现在我不必再检查我的粪便了

Okay what are the potential side effects

我们的壮阳药有些什么

for our erectile dysfunction drug

可能的副作用

Headaches dizziness and nausea

头痛头晕恶心

Yes

是的

Those are also the side effects

一个勃起的75岁老男人

of having a 75 year old man with an erection climb on top of you

趴在你身上你也会出现这些副作用

Want to stop here Uh no I can keep going

-要不要停下来 -不用我可以继续

Nah you got this

不必了你能行的

Let's go for a drink I'll call Amy

我们去喝一杯我打给艾米

Okay good She seemed like she really wanted to go out tonight

好的她似乎今晚特别想出去玩

Hey girl

干嘛妹子

Okay next question for the Butterfinger

下个问题奖品是金手指黄油饼干

how long is a galactic year

银河年有多长

250 million years

两亿五千万年

Yes

对了

Okay this one is for a Cadbury Creme Egg

这个的奖品是吉百利蛋

It's not even Easter time

复活节都没到呢

This is crazy

太疯狂了

Which Archimedean solid has 20 regular triangular faces

哪种阿基米德多面体有20个规则的三角面

30 square faces 12 pentagonal faces

30个四角面 12个五角面

60 vertices and 120 edges

60个顶点和120条边

The Rhombicosidodecahedron

小斜方截半二十面体

Yes

答对了

We are so smart

我们太聪明了

Why didn't girls like us in high school

高中时为什么女生不喜欢咱们

Because we were awkward and weird

因为我们呆滞怪异

and couldn't play sports Right again

-而且运动无能 -又答对了

给好奇的观众这就是小斜方截半二十面体