生活大爆炸-S09E04_生活大爆炸

S01

What a wonderful day thank you.

今天真是玩得太开心了谢谢

Oh we're glad you had fun.

你开心就好

Blue Icees and a trip to The Container Store

喝了蓝色冰沙还去了趟容器大卖场

It's like I died

感觉就像我死了

and went to the post mortem neuron induced hallucination

进入了死后脑神经元诱发的幻觉

commonly mistaken as heaven.

也就是俗称天堂的地方

I still don't understand why you bought that pill caddie.

我还是不明白你为什么会买那个药盒

You're a young man.

你好好一个年轻人

Age is a state of mind Leonard.

莱纳德年龄是一种心理状态

In here I'm 90.

我这儿已经90岁了

Why are you taking your bins over there

你为什么把你的箱子带去那边

That's just where I need them.

我就是买来放这边的啊

You know she doesn't have a lot of closet space.

因为她家衣柜空间不太够

What's wrong with your closet

你自己房里的衣柜怎么了

Well honey you know

亲爱的

now that Leonard and I are married

我和莱纳德现在结婚了

it kind of makes sense that we actually live together.

我们真的住在一起也合情合理

So that's all this day was

原来今天是这么个节奏

A plan to butter me up before delivering bad news

先礼后兵图穷匕见

Come on buddy.

兄弟别这样

No I thought we were friends.

少来这套我还以为我们是朋友呢

You asked for a sip of my Icee.

你想喝一口我的冰沙

If you had your own straw I might've said yes.

如果当时你自己有吸管我可能就答应了呢

Sheldon please we already feel bad about this.

谢尔顿别这样我们本来就过意不去了

You know what they don't sell at The Container Store

你知道容器大卖场里没有卖什么吗

Something large enough to contain my disappointment.

大到可以装下我满心失望的东西

Although if anyone did

如果世上真的有卖

it would be them.

那肯定是它们那里

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第四集

Thank you for letting me come speak with you.

谢谢你让我来跟你谈谈心

Of course.

这有什么

As my relationships with Penny and Amy are currently strained

鉴于最近我跟佩妮与艾米的关系紧张

I'm turning to you for female comfort and encouragement.

所以我得转而向你寻求女性的安慰与鼓励

I'm honored.

我很荣幸

I tried reaching out to my mother

我试着找过我妈

but she was in Bible study.

可是她在上查经班

Leonard's mother is on a book tour.

莱纳德的母亲在巡回签书途中

My Mee Maw was taking a nap

我姥姥在睡午觉

and after a while Siri started repeating her answers.

而且一段时间后 Siri的答案开始重复了

So I'm your seventh choice.

所以我是你的第七选择

Yeah I know top ten pretty exciting.

对啊进入前十了呢很激动吧

How can I help you

我可以帮你什么呢

Well in addition to Amy leaving me

在艾米离开我之后

Leonard's moving in with Penny.

莱纳德也要搬去跟佩妮同住了

It's difficult not to feel abandoned.

我难免会觉得自己被人抛弃

Well why don't you look at this as an opportunity

你何不把这个危机看成转机呢

You had other roommates before Leonard.

你在莱纳德来之前也有过室友啊

Maybe this is a chance to find someone new.

或许这是你寻找新室友的机会

Perhaps I could find someone better than Leonard.

或许我可以找到比莱纳德更棒的人

Someone I can rub in his face.

找个让他吃醋咬手绢儿的人

Chris Pratt's all the rage right now.

克里斯·帕拉特最近挺火的

这两部炙手可热的电影中都出演了男主角

美国男演员在《银河护卫队》《侏罗纪世界》

I wonder how he'd feel about taking the smaller bedroom.

不知道他能不能接受住进家里小的卧室

You know who would be the perfect roommate

你知道谁会是完美的室友吗

Gandalf but he's a smoker.

《魔戒》里的甘道夫可是他抽烟斗

Stuart.

斯图尔特

He's been living with us for a while now.

他已经跟我们同住一阵子了

I'm sure he'd love to get us out of his hair.

我相信他也一定很想摆脱我们

Nope couldn't be happier.

并没有快乐得不得了

Well Sheldon's looking for a...

谢尔顿在找个新...

Nope.

不要

He'll think about it. No I won't

-他会再考虑的 -才不会呢

Have you seen this Archie comic

你看过这本《阿奇漫画》吗

It's actually Archie versus Predator.

其实是阿奇大战铁血战士

How could Archie defeat Predator

阿奇怎么打得过铁血战士啊

I don't know.

我也不知道

Maybe Jughead's a Terminator.

说不定阿奇的死党其实是终结者

Hey Stuart.

斯图尔特

Do you guys know any musicians

你们俩有认识玩音乐的人吗

Why

怎么了

I was thinking it might be cool

我在想如果店里面

to have live music here a few nights a week.

每周有几天有乐队现场演出

You know give this place more

就是让店里更有

of a "staying in business" vibe.

"还没倒闭"感一点

What kind of music are you thinking of

你想要哪一类的音乐

I like all kinds of music

我什么音乐都喜欢

but my favorite genre is free.

但最喜欢的是"免费"那一类

Hey we've always talked about playing together.

我们总说要搞个乐队

Well it could be fun

这应该挺有意思

to try a little acoustic thing.

搞个美声乐团之类的

Oh we could play "filk" music.

我们也可以玩科谣啊

What's that

那是什么

It's been around for years.

其实这种音乐已存在挺久了

It's like folk music but with a sci fi/fantasy theme.

就是民谣音乐但歌曲是科幻/幻想主题

I like it.

我喜欢

It sounds exactly like something

听起来就像是

I shouldn't be expected to pay for.

我不用担心会要花钱的音乐

Dude if we do this

兄弟如果要玩这个

we're gonna need a cool band name.

那得取个屌炸天的团名

You know I've actually

其实我心里

had one I've been sitting on for years.

有个深藏已久的乐队名

Really

真的吗

It was for this power trio

本来是为

I tried to put together in junior high

我初中组的三人摇滚乐队取的

but I was short two friends.

可我当年一缺二

What is it

叫什么

Footprints on the Moon.

月球足迹

I just got chills.

好听得我都起鸡皮[发冷]了

So did I.

我也是

Me too.

我也是

But I I might have Lyme Disease.

但也有可能是我得了莱姆病

发烧/发冷是这种疾病的症状之一

Just a few more signatures and we'll be finished.

再签几个名就大功告成了

Initial here to acknowledge that you've returned your key.

这里签首字母缩写确认已归还钥匙

Okay.

好的

As my future neighbor

作为我未来的邻居

I'd like you to have a key.

我希望你能留一把我家钥匙

Initial here to acknowledge you received it.

这里签首字母缩写确认已拿钥匙

I'm proud of you. You're taking this really well.

我要给你点赞你还挺能接受这件事

Well it's not like I'm never going to see you two again.

毕竟又不是再也见不到你们俩了

Which brings us to article 23 subsection C

请看到第23条第C款

please check here to reserve your spot

请在这里签名来预留

at the ten year roommate reunion.

十年后室友团聚会的位子

Do I really have to do that now

我现在就得搞这些吗

No but if you want chicken

不用啊但如果到时你想吃鸡肉

and get stuck with the fish that's on you.

结果只剩鱼肉那只能怪你自己了

All right.

好的

Oh and lastly

对了最后

please initial here to confirm

在这里签首字母来确认

that ownership of the living room couch

客厅沙发的所有权

is hereby transferred to me

在此转让给我

in perpetuity all throughout the universe

在所有宇宙中永远都是我的

and all alternate universes

以及错列宇宙中也是

except for those universes where owning a couch

除了那些虫族母皇下令禁止

is forbidden by the hive queen.

拥有沙发的宇宙里

In which case all glory to the hive queen.

那种情况下一切荣耀皆奉献给母皇

All right now all that's left

好了最后只剩下

is for us to sign and date the document

签上名写上日期

and we will officially no longer be roommates.

我们就正式解除室友关系了

What's the matter

怎么了

It's harder than I thought.

比我想象中困难

Let me help you.

我来帮你

L e o n...

艹来...

That helped.

的确"帮"到我了

So I have an idea for a filk song.

我有个科谣歌曲的点子

Kind of a

算是

a power ballad superhero crossover tale

超级英雄穿越大事记传说的

of epic proportions.

力量民谣

Is it cold in here

屋里是不是有点冷

'cause oh my.

我冷[爽]到激凸了

Okay so it's a it's a David and Goliath story.

类似大卫挑战歌利亚这类的故事

It's about man against God.

就是所谓的人神大战

It's called "Hammer and Whip

就叫"锤子和鞭子

The Untold Story

不为人知的秘事之

of Thor versus Indiana Jones."

雷神索尔大战印第安纳琼斯"

Thor versus Indiana Jones

雷神索尔大战印第安纳琼斯

You just blew my filking mind.

你让我的科谣心热血沸腾

Okay I don't have it all worked out yet

好啦我还没创作完整首歌

but I was thinking something like um...

但脑海已经有几句旋律了

Oh Indy

印第

Oh Indy

印第

The skies are so windy

今天风好大

Is that a flying man with a killer bod

空中有飞人体格赞到爆

Wait

且慢

That's no man

原来不是人

It's a Norse god.

而是北欧神

Oh yes definitely.

相当不错啊

Hang on.

等我来一段

Thunder clapped

电闪雷鸣

as Thor raised his mighty hammer

只因索尔举起锤子

Indy rapped

印弟饶舌

"That's one bad mamma jamma."

"好一个屌炸天的神"

That that is so good

接得太棒了

Right

是吧

Mamma jamma just came to me.

这词张口就来了

Okay and here's the hook.

副歌是这样

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

One plays with lightning

一个喜欢玩闪电

The other plays with bones

一个喜欢玩骨头

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

One plays with lightning

一个喜欢玩闪电

The other plays with bones.

一个喜欢玩骨头

Oh man that rocks.

老天这歌屌爆了

Hey remember The Ark of the Covenant

还记得《法柜奇兵》第一部吗

Yeah

怎么了

That's how much we're gonna melt people's faces off.

我们的音乐能把人们的脸熔化成那样

让纳粹脸上的皮肉逐渐溶解脱落

电影中法柜打开后放出光芒

I appreciate your interest in the apartment.

很感谢你对我的公寓感兴趣

I just need to ask you a few standard questions.

我需要循例问几个问题

Sure.

好的

It says here you're a chemist.

你说你是一位化学家

Which element on the periodic table

那你觉得元素周期表上的

do you feel is too big for its britches

哪个元素最被人吹过头

Is that supposed to be a joke

你是在跟我开玩笑吗

Looks like argon's not the only one

看来氩元素不是唯一一个

音似骄傲自大arrogant

with an attitude problem.

态度有问题的人

In general

通常情况下

would you say that you smell better worse

你身上的体味跟现在的体味比

or the same as you do right now

是更好更糟还是一样

I was going to ask you

我本来想问你

what is the best fruit

最棒的水果是什么

but then I realized what I want to ask you

然后我意识到我想问你的其实是

is why is there a Band Aid on your forearm

为什么你的前臂会贴有创口贴

but then I realized what I really want to ask you is

但后来我又意识到我最想问你的其实是

just can you just go

麻烦你快走好吗

You're healthy.

你很健康

You have a job in the sciences.

你从事科学工作

I've got to say if this credit report comes back good

不得不说如果信用报告结果良好

you're the frontrunner.

你就是我的第一人选

I'm not gonna be your roommate Sheldon.

我不会当你的室友谢尔顿

But I met with 11 people

可我见了11个人

and they all walked out.

最后他们都走了

And that Hollywood phony Chris Pratt

那个好莱坞伪君子克里斯·帕拉特

never tweeted me back.

也没有回我推特

I'm sure you'll find somebody else.

我相信你一定会找到合适的人选

I suppose.

希望吧

What happened to me Amy

我到底怎么了艾米

Years ago I was completely disengaged from my feelings.

数年前我没有任何情感

I'd say it was a happier time

我想说那时的我更快乐

but I was disengaged from my feelings so who can tell

但当时我没有情感所以谁知道呢

I don't know how to help you.

我不知道该怎么帮你

You know feelings are a part of life.

情感是生活的一部分

They didn't used to be.

过去并非如此

You and Leonard and Penny

莱纳德佩妮和你

you all poisoned me with emotions.

你们用情感毒害我

I was like the Tin Man perfectly content

当时的我就像铁皮人对现状非常满足

until that evil Wizard gave him a heart.

直到邪恶的巫师给了他一颗心

I don't think that was the point of the movie.

我觉得《绿野仙踪》的中心思想不是这样

Fine then I was like Pinocchio

好吧那我就像木偶皮诺曹

before that jerk Geppetto went and made him a real boy.

却被混蛋老木匠杰佩托变成了一个真正的男孩

There you go.

这话说对了

So what are you thinking for dinner

你晚餐想吃什么

Well it's Thai food night.

今晚该吃泰国菜

Well honey you don't live with Sheldon anymore.

亲爱的你不跟谢尔顿住一起了

You can have anything you want.

你想吃什么都行

You're right.

也对

But what

那吃什么

Mexican

墨西哥菜吗

Italian German

意大利菜还是德国菜

Indian Greek

印度菜还是希腊菜

Cuban Chinese

古巴菜还是中国菜

Pizza Barbecue

披萨还是烤肉

Korean Korean barbecue

韩国菜还是韩式烤肉

How about Thai food

吃泰国菜怎么样

Oh thank God

太好了

Hey we're going to dinner. You want to come

我们要去吃晚餐你要一起吗

Oh I wish I could

我也想去

but I realized I've become too emotionally vulnerable

但我意识到最近我情感太脆弱了

so like an operating system

所以就像一个操作系统

I'm restoring my life to the last stable version

我要把我的人生还原到前一个稳定的版本

which was in 2003 the day before I met Leonard.

也就是回到2003年我遇到莱纳德的前一天

You heard him no.

他的意思是不去

Hang on.

等等

Wait you actually think it's 2003

你真的认为现在是2003年吗

No just because I'm living my life like it was 12 years ago

不啊我像12年前那样生活

doesn't mean I'm delusional.

并不代表我有妄想症

And since it is 2003

而且既然是2003年

I don't know who you are

咱俩不认识

so please exit the premises

所以请快离开这里

before I call the police on my stylish new flip phone.

否则我可要用我时髦的翻盖手机报警了

Are you doing okay

你还好吧

I guess.

还行

I'm just you know worried about Sheldon.

我只是有点担心谢尔顿

Well come on he's a grown man in his 30s

别担心他是一个30多岁

pretending to be a grown man in his 20s.

假装自己是一个20多岁的成年人

He's fine.

没事的

I hope so.

但愿吧

What else can you do Move back in with him

不然你能干嘛搬回去跟他住吗

No of course not. I I just feel bad.

当然不是我只是觉得内疚

Well so do I

我也是啊

but don't you want to live with your wife

可你不想跟自己老婆住在一起吗

and set the thermostat to whatever you want

想怎么设恒温器就怎么设

and have your body tell you

还有让你的身体告诉你

when it's time to go to the bathroom

何时想上厕所了才去

you know not a schedule slipped

而不是每天早上

underneath your door every morning

一张从你门缝塞进来的时间表

I did like that he had the weather on it.

我挺喜欢那上面的天气预报

Trust me this is the right thing.

相信我这么做是正确的

I know.

我知道

And it's not like we're abandoning him.

而且我们又不是抛弃他

Plus

再说了

we can FaceTime him whenever we want

我们随时可以视频聊天啊

you know once iPhones are invented in his universe.

等他所在的那个宇宙发明了iPhone就行了

I can't believe Sheldon asked you to be his roommate.

真不敢相信谢尔顿让你当他的室友

I can't believe he ran my credit.

真不敢相信他查我的信用记录

Hey if you're open to living with someone great

如果你愿意接纳一个很棒的室友

I'll give you $1 000 to take Stuart.

我给你一千块把斯尔图特带走

You really should've gone on the Internet

你当时带他回家时

and checked how long that kind of thing lives

真应该上网查查那种生物

before you got one.

能存活多久

I'm sorry.

抱歉

I just thought you might have

我只是以为你的生活

a pasty weirdo shaped hole in your life.

可能有个苍白怪胎的洞需要补上

Hey I know Sheldon's quirky

我知道谢尔顿为人古怪

but he's also brilliant and insightful.

但他同时聪明又有见解

I think calling him a weirdo is a little unfair.

我觉得叫他怪胎不太公平吧

Hello 2003

你好 2003年

Hey we brought you Thai.

我们给你打包了泰国菜

Where is everything

东西都哪去了

In my present it's in the future.

于我来说是在我的未来

In your present it's been crammed in the bedroom

于你来说是在你的卧室

by an enterprising young man

我让那位在家具店停车场认识的

I met in The Home Depot parking lot.

有干劲的年轻人全塞进去了

I know what you're doing.

我知道你在干什么

You're trying to get attention so we'll feel bad for you

你想引起我们的注意让我们对你心生内疚

but it's not happening.

但这没有用

No what I'm doing is trying to figure out

不我是在努力搞清

how to live my life now that everyone is leaving me.

自己该如何生活因为大家都离我而去

Will you knock it off We're across the hall.

你歇歇吧我们就住在对门

As the kids are saying today "Talk to the hand."

用现在孩子们的说法"懒得鸟你"

They're not saying that.

现在孩子们不这么说

They are in 2003.

2003年的时候是这么说

No they're really not.

不他们真不这么说

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

One runs from Loki

一个躲着洛基逃

The other runs from stones.

一个避着石头跑

So what do you think

你觉得如何

Runs from stones means that that big boulder

那颗石头其实是颗大滚石

but I couldn't rhyme anything with boulder.

但是我想不出跟滚石押韵的词

Colder shoulder

诚实结实

soldier folder...

钻石宝石

Right yeah right.

对对对

But...

但是

what do you think

你觉得如何

I think it's very cute.

我觉得非常可爱

Cute It's not cute.

可爱这不可爱

Cute is children dressed as vegetables.

可爱是形容儿童扮成蔬菜

Okay fine it's not cute.

好吧不可爱

Just be honest. You don't like it.

你就实话实说你不喜欢

I didn't say that.

我没有这么说

I I just like music you can dance to.

我只是喜欢可以跳舞的音乐

You can dance to this

这首歌也可以跳舞啊

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

One plays with lightning

一个喜欢玩闪电

The other plays with bones.

一个喜欢玩骨头

I'm telling you dude the song has no groove.

我跟你说哥们这首歌没动感

You can't dance to it.

不能随着跳舞

Who cares

谁在乎啊

I thought the whole point of Footprints on the Moon

我还以为月球足迹乐队

was to write songs that make people think.

主要是写出能让人思考的歌

You can do both

两者皆可顾啊

like Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean."

就像迈克·杰克逊的《比莉·珍》

While you're dancing you're thinking like

你会一边跳舞一边思考

"Darn it whose baby is it "

"靠歌词唱的小孩到底是谁的"

Where's this coming from

你这想法都打哪儿来的

A few hours ago we both loved this song.

几个小时前我们都很爱这首歌

I still love it.

我还是爱啊

I just think there's room for improvement.

只是认为它有进步的空间而已

You played it for Emily didn't you

你唱给艾米丽听了对不对

Yeah so what

对那又怎样

You are such a wimp.

你这个妻管严

She didn't like it now you don't like it.

她不喜欢你就也不喜欢了

No no. I'm just evolving as a musician.

不只是我这个音乐人在进步

You're the one who's stuck in the past.

而你却停在过去止步不前

The past was lunch

你说的过去就是一顿午饭前

You know what's really happening here

你知道这到底是怎么回事吗

Your girlfriend is breaking up our band.

你的女友在破坏我们的乐队

She has nothing to do with this.

这事跟她无关

I am my own man.

我有我自己的想法

Oh please. Your brain belongs

拜托吧你的大脑就属于

to whoever's willing to sleep with you.

任何一个愿意跟你上床的人

That is so not true. Really

-才不是呢 -真的吗

Remember when you were gonna get circumcised

还记得你差点为了那叫瑞秋的姑娘

for Rachel Bernstein

去割包皮吗

That had nothing to do with Rachel.

那个跟瑞秋没关系

It was an overreaction to a bad zipper injury.

是我因为包皮被拉链夹到一时冲动的想法

I don't need this.

我受够了

I'm quitting the band

我要退出乐队

Fine I quit too

好我也退

Then get out of my house

那你就滚出我家

With pleasure

巴不得呢

Raj wait.

拉杰等等

What took you so long

怎么这么久才叫人家

Buddy I know me moving in with Penny

兄弟我知道我搬去跟佩妮住

feels like a big change

感觉好像变化很大

but it's not.

但其实并没有

How can you say that

你怎么能这么说

Amy's gone

艾米离开了

and you two are married now

现在你们俩也结婚了

so it's only a matter of time before you're gone too.

你们的离开也只剩时间问题了

Okay you don't know what's gonna happen.

好了你不知道未来会怎么样

No I do.

不我知道

Eventually you'll want more space

最终你们会需要更多的空间

and you'll move into a house

然后会搬进一栋房子里

and then instead of dinner a couple of times a week

一起吃晚餐的次数从一周几次

it'll only be a couple of times a month

变成了一个月几次

and then it'll only be on special occasions

之后就只有特殊日子才会相聚

like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz.

比如伯纳黛特要跟沃罗威茨离婚

Or or or like

或者比如

when Koothrappali's weird girlfriend

库萨帕里的诡异女友

admits where she buried his body.

终于讲出把他的尸体埋哪了

Or Amy's wedding

或者艾米的婚礼

where she's marrying someone better than me.

她嫁给一个比我更好的人

Okay look

好吧听着

we don't need to rush into anything.

我们不需要操之过急

All right

好吗

Maybe instead of Leonard moving in with me

或者莱纳德不用搬去跟我住

we just leave things the way they are

我们维持现状就好了

and...

就是

sometimes we'll sleep over there

有时我们在那边睡

and sometimes we'll sleep over here.

有时我们在这边睡

But mostly here.

大多数都要在这边

Sure.

当然

W W What about what you said in the restaurant

那你在餐厅说的怎么办

Well it's not forever.

又不会一直这样

It's just for a little while.

只是一段时间而已

If you want we can think of him like he's our dog.

如果你想我们也可以把他当成我们的狗

You can.

可以啊

I'm happy when you come home.

你们一回家我就开心

And I'm scared of fireworks.

我还害怕烟花

And by the way on July Fourth we're all sleeping here.

顺便说一下国庆节都必须在这睡

Fine.

好的

All right great

好的太好了

Just give me one minute

给我一分钟时间

and I'll get started on a new Roommate Agreement.

我要着手起草新的室友协议了

Yeah.

好

Nothing from Pratt. We're good.

帕拉特还是没回复不用担心没位子

Indy' whip snapped

印第的鞭子折断

Thor's hammer missed

索尔的锤子砸偏

It was Avenger

复仇者对战

Versus archeologist

考古学家

Indy held his ground

印第寸步不让

And straightened his fedora

还正了正小礼帽

Thor said "That's a nice look

索尔说这身挺帅

In 1944 a

在1944年的话

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

One plays with lightning

一个喜欢玩闪电

The other plays with bones.

一个喜欢玩骨头

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

Thor and Dr. Jones

雷神索尔和博士琼斯

One plays with lightning

一个喜欢玩闪电

The other plays with bones.

一个喜欢玩骨头

Play something we can dance to.

唱点适合跳舞的好吗

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