生活大爆炸-S02E22_生活大爆炸

S01

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Smell that

闻到了吗

That's the smell of new comic books

新漫画书的味道

Oh yes

太棒了

They're on me today boys

今天我来付账伙计们

You're paying

你买单?

Have you been selling your sperm again

你又去卖精子了?

No I'm celebrating

没有只是庆祝一下

As we speak the space shuttle

现在太空船

Is docking at the at the international space station

正停在国际空间站

Where it will deploy the wolowitz zero gravity

配备沃罗威茨零重力

Waste disposal system

废物处理系统

Oh get over yourself

少给自己戴高帽

It's a high tech toilet

不就是高科技马桶嘛

Just think

这么想

Thanks to your hard work

多亏你的杰作

An international crew of astronauts

国际太空宇航员才能

Will "boldly go where no man has gone before "

大胆去没人去过的地方拉

Is that supposed to be funny

好笑吗

I believe it is

确实好笑

The combination of the star trek reference

结合引用《星际旅行》

And the play on words involving the double meaning

和双重含义的动词

Of the verb "to go"

去[拉]

Suggests that leonard is humorously mocking

说明莱纳德拿你的

Your efforts in space plumbing

太空管道工程开玩笑呢

Okay make your little jokes

行开你们的小玩笑吧

But of the four of us I'm the only one making

但我们四人之中只有我

Any real world contribution to science and technology

为科学技术做出实际贡献

He's right this is an important achievement for two reasons

他说得对这可是重大成果有两个原因

Number one

可以一号[小便]

And of course number two

还能二号[大便]

Oh clever

真聪明

Playing on the use of cardinal numbers

利用基数对应

As euphemisms for bodily functions

隐喻人体机能

Here sheldon I pulled the new hellboy for you

给谢尔顿给你留的新《地狱男爵》

It's mind blowing

太刺激了

Excuse me spoiler alert

喂严重剧透

I didn't spoil anything

我没有透露什么啊

You told me it's mind blowing

你说了很刺激

So my mind is going into it pre blown

我的思维已经开始提前刺激了

And once a mind is pre blown it cannot be re blown

一旦提前刺激还谈什么再刺激

I'm sorry

抱歉

Said the grinch to christmas

让圣诞怪杰跟圣诞节道歉去吧

Uh hey leonard

莱纳德

Could I talk to you about something

我能跟你谈件事吗

Sure what's up

可以什么事

Remember I went out with

还记得几周前

Your friend penny a couple weeks ago

我和你朋友佩妮约会的事吗

Yeah vaguely

不太记得

Sure you remember

你肯定记得

That was the night you went to the bar and made a fool

你那晚还傻乎乎地

Of yourself trying to pick up strange women

去酒吧找陌生女人呢

What about it

怎么了

Well uh the thing is the date didn't go that well

上次约会不太顺利

Oh too bad

真不幸

I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up

我想现在能做的就是爬起来

Dust yourself off forget it and move on

拍拍身上的土忘记她向前看

I can't do that

我做不到

Why the hell not

见鬼了做不到

'cause we're going out again tomorrow

因为我们明天还有个约会

Excuse me stuart

打扰一下斯图尔特

Have you read the new flash

你看了新的《闪电侠》吗

No well I have

-没看呢 -我看了

And it will knock your socks off

大为惊叹呢

Good luck getting them back on

看你还能不能再惊叹

Uh anyway

怎么说呢

I figure this is probably my last shot with penny

我觉得这可能是我和佩妮最后的机会了

And I don't want to screw it up

我不想搞砸了

Nobody wants that

谁都不想搞砸

Here's my question it's the second date

问题就是这是第二次约会

You think she'll be expecting things to get physical

你觉得她会想要进一步的身体接触么

Uh gee um

老天

My initial reaction is "no " but um

我初步的建议是不要

Let me think about it and get back to you okay

让我想想再回答你吧

Okay so you'll give me a call

那你打我电话吧

Yeah or you call me

你打我电话也行

Great

好的

Or nobody calls anyone

谁都不打最好

Interesting

有意思

Penny's current suitor asking advice from her former suitor

佩妮的现任追求者寻求前任追求者的建议

You know thanks for closed captioning my pain raj

拉杰谢谢你的友情字幕提示

Hey want to make sure he gets nowhere with penny

你想确保他既得不到佩妮

Without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them

又不伤害你和他们的友情么

I'm listening

洗耳恭听

Just tell him to do everything

直接让他做过去两年

You've done with her for the last two years

你对佩妮做过的一切

Hey leonard

好啊莱纳德

Oh hi

你好

How's it going good good

-最近如何 -很好

You fine

-你呢 -也好

Oh hey can I ask you something

我能问你件事么

Sure

当然

You know your friend stuart

关于你的朋友斯图尔特

Yes

怎么了

Well he asked me out again and I said yes

他又约我出去我答应了

And then I started thinking

然后我觉得

Maybe I should talk to you first

应该先和你谈谈

About what

谈什么

Well does it bother you

我和你朋友约会

Me going out with one of your friends

你会不会觉得困扰

'cause you know you and me

我们从前...

No no that's the past

不会过去的事了

I'm really more of a "right now" kind of guy

我会与时俱进

You know living in the moment

活在当下

Although I do have to live a little in the future

虽然我还和未来扯上点关系

'cause well that's my job

那是因为我的工作

Of course my fondness for classic science fiction

当然我对经典科幻的喜爱

Does draw my attention backwards

也时常将我带回往昔

But those stories often take place in the future

但这类故事经常发生在未来

In conclusion no it doesn't bother me

总之不会困扰我的

Okay well that's really cool of you

好吧你真大度

Yeah well I wouldn't say cool

我不会说大度

I'd just say

我只会说

"that's leonard "

这才是莱纳德

Well in that case do you mind giving me some advice

这样说来你能不能给我点建议

About stuart

关于斯图尔特的

Love to

没问题

He's very shy

他很内向的

How do I make him feel more comfortable around me

我怎么能让他觉得和我在一起觉得更舒服

Well first of all don't underestimate

首先不要低估了

The value of discomfort

不舒服这个词的程度

Really oh yes

-真的 -是的

Stuart thrives under pressure

斯图尔特有压力才有动力

That's why he works in a comic book store

所以他才会在漫画书店工作

Oh it's stuart

是斯图尔特

You're not going to answer it

你不接么?

He wants to talk about penny

他想谈佩妮的事

I don't want to talk about penny

而我不想

You're making an assumption

你在做一个假设

Perhaps the comic book store is on fire

但万一是漫画店失火了呢

And he needs your assistance

他需要你的帮助

Why would he call me

他怎么会打给我?

We don't know

我们不知道

And if you don't answer the phone we can't know

我们没法知道除非你接电话

I'm not answering the phone sheldon

谢尔顿我不会接的

Answer the phone leonard no

-接电话莱纳德 -不

There it went to voice mail

好了进到语音信箱里了

Aren't you going to check your messages

你不准备查语音信息么?

不

You have to check your messages leonard

你一定要查查信息莱纳德

The in a

留语音信息

Is one half of a social contract

是社会契约的一半

Which is completed by the checking of the message

而另一半要由查信息来完成

If that contract breaks down

如果这个契约被打破了

Then all social contracts break down

整个社会的契约就都坍塌了

And we descend into anarchy

而我们就堕落到无政府状态

It must be hell inside your head

你脑袋里肯定是一片狼藉

At times

偶尔会这样

Guys we have a code red

哥几个红色警戒

You mean "code red" the hospital emergency alert

你是指医院的紧急警报

"code red" the computer worm or "code red" the cherry flavored

还是蠕虫病毒

Soft drink from the makers of mountain dew

还是百事出品的樱桃味汽水?

Look I was going over the schematics

我检查零重力马桶的图纸时

On my zero g toilet and I made a teeny tiny mistake

在转向阀的说明里

On the specifications for the diverter valve

我发现了一个小小小小的错误

How teeny tiny

有多小?

It's gonna fail after about ten flushes

大概冲了十次以后就该坏了

But the mission is for six months

但任务要持续六个月呢

Yeah see that's the code red

说的就是这个红色警戒

It's kind of like a jack in the box

这就像魔术箱

No one knows exactly when but at some point

没人知道什么时候但总会在某个时候

Something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box

有些比木偶更恶的东西会从那个盒子里跳出来

Have you notified nasa

你通知航天局了么?

No are you crazy what am I gonna say

你疯了? 我该怎么说?

"i screwed up your toilet and pretty soon

我搞砸了你们的马桶

"there's gonna be crap floating

不久之后

All over your nice shiny space station"

你们整洁的太空站里将漂满大便?

So what are you gonna do

那你准备怎么做?

I'm gonna figure out how to fix it then I'll tell them

我先想出怎么修理然后再告诉他们

So what do you need us for

那要我们做什么

He can't figure out how to fix it

他想不出来怎么修理

Hey you said you were gonna be supportive

你说过你会支持我的

I'm trying

我努力着呢

but you have to admit this is pretty damn funny

但你得承认这实在太搞笑了

I agree

我同意

It's the juxtaposition of the high tech nature

宇宙探索的高科技性

Of space exploration against the banality of a malfunctioning toilet

与马桶事故的平凡进行的对比

That provides the comic fodder here

在这里提供了笑点

Check your messages

快查你的信息

All right this is an exact duplicate

好了这是和国际空间站

Of the wolowitz zero gravity human waste disposal system

配备的沃罗威茨零重力废物处理系统

As deployed on the international space station

一模一样的副本

Don't you mean the wolowitz zero gravity human waste distribution system

你说的是沃罗威茨零重力人类排泄物"散布"系统吧

Good one

好样的

Yeah it's hilarious

真好笑

Now

现在

Here's an approximation of the spare parts

这些是太空站中

Available on the space station

大概有的备用零件

We gotta find a way using nothing but this

我们要想个方法只用这些零件

To reinforce this so the waste material

来加固这个

Avoids the spinning turbine

避免堵住旋转涡轮

You mean so it doesn't hit the fan

你是说不要打中风扇?[酿成大祸]

Yeah I have to say

我不得不说

I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition

我以为重复说马桶笑话会变得无聊

Apparently there is no law

显然用太空便便

Of diminishing comedic returns with space poop

做笑点完全无懈可击呢

Hey leonard hey stuart

-你好莱纳德 -好啊斯图尔特

You busy um

-你在忙吗 -呃...

Classified leonard

这是机密莱纳德

Yeah it's a regular manhattan project

不过是项常规曼哈顿工程罢了

What's up

啥事

Well tonight's my date with penny

我今晚要和佩妮约会

And since we haven't been able to connect by phone

鉴于我们没法通电话

Yeah I'm sorry it's been broken

真是抱歉手机坏了

Or e mail yeah that's broken too

-电邮也不行 -那也坏了

Everything's broken

能坏的都坏了

Anyway I was just wondering if you had any last minute advice

最后时刻希望你能给我点建议

Uh all right well off the top of my head

好吧正好灵光一现

You know I think the most important thing with penny

和佩妮一起时最关键的

Is to go really slow

就是要慢慢来

I mean glacial

相当慢那种

Okay

好吧

You know guys come onto her all the time

她平时总是被男人围着

So you need to set yourself apart

所以你得矜持一点

You know be a little shy

羞涩一点

Don't make too much eye contact

少点眼神交流

And you know treat her with like cool detachment

和她保持一种冷酷的疏离感

And and you know fear

说白了就是畏惧感

Fear

畏惧?

Yeah like uh

对就像

You're afraid that if you touch her she'll break

你生怕一碰她就碎

Well that plays right into my wheelhouse

这个我很拿手呢

Good good

很好

Well uh you you kids have fun tonight

今晚玩儿得开心点

Thanks leonard uh huh

-多谢莱纳德 -客气啥

What is that thing anyway

那个到底是啥玩意儿

You don't know what this is

你不知道吗

No good get out

-不知道 -很好滚

Be afraid of penny

害怕佩妮

Nice very crafty

很狡猾嘛

It wasn't bad advice

这又不是馊主意

It's just wasn't particularly helpful

只是不太管用罢了

For what it's worth my mother says that when we deceive

不管怎样俺娘常说为一己私欲

for personal gain we make jesue cry

而欺骗他人会遭报应的

All right what if we use this two inch pvc

好了何不用这个2英寸PVC管

To reinforce the center cross support

加固中间的交叉支撑呢?

No good

不行

I mean it might work for the japanese

对日本人和美国人或许有用

And the americans but have you seen the size

你要知道太空舱里的

Of the russians they got up there

俄罗斯人什么体型

This thing has to hold up

这东西得撑得起

Against a hearty potato based diet

一群狂吃马铃薯的家伙

I feel terrible

我感觉很难过

Maybe if you were helping you'd feel better about yourself

过来帮帮忙就不会难过了

I deliberately tried to sabotage stuart's date with penny

我故意破坏斯图尔特和佩妮的约会

Of course you feel terrible

不难过才怪

You completely screwed up your karma dude

你完全搞砸了自己的"业"[印度教]

You don't really believe in that superstition do you

你不会这么迷信吧

It's not superstition

这不是迷信

It's practically newtonian

这跟牛顿学说差不多

For every action

任何作用力

There's an equal and opposite reaction

都会产生相等的反作用力

Leonard pretends to be a friend

莱纳德表面像朋友

And acts like a two faced bitch

实际行为却像个两面派婊子

Therefore he is reborn as a banana slug

因此他会转世变成香蕉虫

It's actually a very elegant system

其实是个完美的体系

You know what goes around comes around

这就是因果循环

Speaking of what goes around comes around

说到循环

Okay look

好吧

Instead of trying to reinforce this structure here

与其加强这里的结构

What if we just ran another line bypass it entirely

何不干脆另建一个通道来疏通呢

It won't work the diameter of the tubing is insufficient

行不通管道直径不够

What if we reposition the collection tank

那重置收集槽呢

It won't work no way to mount it

行不通没地儿放

Okay here's an idea

我有个主意

What if I change my name and go live

我干脆从此隐姓埋名

With my cousin and her husband avi in israel

投靠以色列的堂姐艾薇和她老公

That could work

这个行得通

Morning morning what's up

-早安 -早安怎么了

Nothing we just pulled an all nighter

没什么我们熬了一夜

Trying to fix a zero gravity pasta maker

修理一台零重力...意粉机

I'm going to make a coffee run do you want any

我出去买点咖啡你要吗

Oh no thanks I have coffee

不谢了我有

Great so how'd it go with stuart last night

很好那昨晚的约会进展如何

Um I really don't want to talk about it

我实在不想谈

Yeah right sure

当然可以

The thing is uh before you guys went out

不过你们出去之前

I spoke to him and i

我和他谈过我...

I said I don't want to talk about it

我说了我不想谈

Okay I just I kind of feel look leonard

-我只是觉得... -莱纳德

What goes on between me and stuart is none of your business

我和斯图尔特之间的事和你无关

So just leave it alone okay

别管闲事了行吧

If you really want to clean up your karma

你如果真想赎罪

Go get my freakin' latte

就快去帮我买拿铁

Hang on I think I've got this

等下我想到了

Help me see if we can wedge this little piece

帮我把这一小片PVC塑料

Of pvc behind the support rod

塞进支撑杆后面

I think you're overestimating the tensile strength

你高估自己建的

Of the substructure you're building

玩意的抗张强度了吧

Sheldon I know what I'm doing

谢尔顿我自有分寸

If you knew what you were doing there wouldn't be

你要是有分寸这里就不会放着太空马桶

A space toilet where my coffee table should be

而是放着我的咖啡桌

Howard wait

霍华德等等

Why don't you ou use this instead of the pvc

为什么不用这个代替PVC管

To keep the transverse filter assembly in place

来辅助横向滤波器安装到位呢

Because this is not a spare part from the space station

因为这个东东不是空间站的零件

This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps

这是比萨饼盒子里

The lid from touching the cheese

用来避免盒盖接触起司的

That what that's for

就是这个用途吗

In india the lid just touches the cheese

在印度盒盖就盖在起司上面

Of course we also have rampant

当然了我们还有极度的贫穷

Poverty and periodic outbreaks of cholera

和周期性肆虐的霍乱

So a little cardboard in our cheese is no biggie

所以起司里有个小纸板也没啥大不了的

Where are you going comic book store

-你去哪儿 -漫画书店

Oh an excellent idea I could certainly use a break

好主意呀我可以借机休息

Me too Now hold on

-我也是 -等等

You guys can go to the comic book store

只要航天员能安全地在太空中大便

When man can once again safely poop in space

我就让你们去漫画书店

Why does Leonard get to go

为什么莱纳德可以去

'cause he's upset over his situation with penny

因为他跟佩妮的关系现在纠缠不清

And if I have to hear about it again

要是再让我听到一次

I'm going to kick him in his ovaries

我就把他卵巢那个地方踢飞

Thanks for understanding howard

霍华德谢谢你的理解

I got your back sister

姐妹我支持你

All right I think we've got

好啦我觉得这台

A prototype ready to test

原型机可以开始接受测试了

Hand me that Tupperware

把那个特百惠盒子递给我

Wow that's heavy

哇真重啊

Damn right it's heavy it's my mother's meat loaf

当然重是我妈妈做的肉馅糕

It's been testing toilets for generations

已经用它测试了无数次马桶了

I must say howard I think a detailed letter to mit

我必须指出霍华德如果给麻省理工写封信

Describing your current circumstances might entitle you

描述你目前状况可能会让他们

To a refund on your master's degree

退回你的硕士学位

Okay simulated zero gravity human waste disposal test

好的模拟零重力环境人类排泄物处理测试

With meat loaf analog in

肉馅糕模拟物已就绪

Three two one

三二一

Fascinating

很好很强大

What do you think the problem is

你觉得问题出在哪

Not enough bread crumbs

面包屑放得不够

Hey Stuart I need to talk to you Sure what's up

-斯图尔特我想跟你谈谈 -当然怎么了

I think I gave you some bad advice about penny

关于佩妮我觉得我给了你一些很坏的建议

And I want to apologize

我想道歉

Oh no your advice was great

别啊你的建议挺不错的

It was

真的

Oh yeah going slow really worked

是啊 "慢慢来"确实管用

You're kidding

你开玩笑吧

Never worked for me

对我来说从来不管用

Yeah last night at dinner I did what you told me

昨天吃晚饭的时候我按照你说的做了

I went really slow I kept my distance

我尽量慢慢来并且保持距离

And two bottles of wine later we were making out in my car

然后两瓶红酒下肚我们就在车里亲热了

Wine I didn't say to give her wine

红酒我没说要给她喝红酒啊

It doesn't matter 'cause that's where it all went to hell

没事因为从那开始就出乱子了

During the kissing

接吻的时候

What did you do sneeze in her mouth

你做了什么对着她的嘴打喷嚏么

I did that to a girl once

我对一个女孩儿做过一次

No everything was good and really hot

没一切正常我俩也很投入

And I said

然后我说

"Oh penny " and right where

"噢佩妮" 就在

She was supposed to say "oh Stuart " she said

她应该说"噢斯图尔特"的时候她却说了

Your name

你的名字

"Leonard"

"莱纳德"吗

That is your name right yeah no yeah

-那是你的名字吧 -是啊不是是

Wow I'm sorry

我很抱歉

That must've been the last thing you wanted to hear

你肯定不想听这样的话

Well it beats "you know I'm a dude right "

跟"你知道我很花心"不相上下了

Yeah it was pretty bad

确实很糟糕

Yeah no doubt no doubt

当然当然

Okay well I'm sorry it didn't work out

我很抱歉你俩没啥进展

Not your fault

不是你的错

Yeah how about that

还真不是我的错

See you soon Yeah sure

-再见 -拜拜

Yes sir I understand "classified "

是的先生我知道什么是"机密"

We'll keep it all classified no one has to know

我们会守口如瓶没人会知道

Anything about this but you and me

只有你知我知

What's classified

什么机密

Howard's space toilet

霍华德的太空马桶

I'll tell you later

等下再跟你讲

Well they've deployed our solution

他们已经部署了我们的解决方案

Let's just all hope it works

一起祈祷它会奏效吧

I don't see why I have to worry

我看不出来跟我有什么关系

My career's not hanging in the balance

又不是我的饭碗岌岌可危

That was a joke

是个玩笑

It's funny because it's true

笑点在于它是真的

Leonard could you pass the soysauce please

莱纳德你能不能把酱油递过来

I'm sorry were you talking to me

抱歉你跟我说话吗

Yeah I said Leonard

是啊我叫的是你

Yes you did didn't you

你确实叫的是我呢

What the hell is that

什么鬼东西啊

Meat Loaf

肉馅糕

What was it doing on the ceiling

它怎么会在天花板上

That's classified

那是机密

[国际空间站]

Houston uh International Space Station

休斯顿航天中心这是国际空间站

We have a little situation up here

我们遇到点小麻烦

We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk

我们想进行一次计划外的太空行走

I S S Houston

空间站这是休斯顿航天中心

Which crew members would be involved in this E V A

请问哪名航天员会参与此次舱外活动

Houston uh we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes

休斯顿全体成员都想到舱外几分钟

I S S

空间站

I'm afraid we can't authorize that

我恐怕不能授权

Houston this is more of a FYI call

休斯顿其实是想知照一下

We are basically out the door

我们其实已经全都出舱了