生活大爆炸-S03E01_生活大爆炸

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Previously on The Big Bang Theory

《生活大爆炸》前情回顾

I am going to the Arctic Circle

我和莱纳德沃罗威茨库萨帕里

with Leonard Walowitz and Koothrappali

要去北极圈

For three months Yes

-去三个月 -没错

What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me

你说会想我是什么意思

It means I wish you weren't going

意思是我不想你走

Oh thank God we're home

谢天谢地到家了

I can't believe we spent three months in that frozen hell

难以置信我们在那冰冷的地狱呆了3个月

It was like a snowy nightmare

简直就是个噩梦

from which there was no awakening

梦里漫天飞雪而又无法醒来

I don't know what Arctic expedition you guys were on

我不知道你们对北极考察的感想

but I thought it was a hoot and a half

我只觉得意犹未尽

Oh hi Mom

你好妈妈

No I told you I'd call you when I got home

不我说了到家了再打电话给你

I'm not home yet

我还没到家呢

All right I'm home

行了到家了

The Arctic expedition was a remarkable success

北极考察非常成功

I'm all but certain there's a Nobel Prize in my future

说不定我将来能得一个诺贝尔奖

Actually I shouldn't say that

其实不应该这样说

I'm entirely certain

我完全确定能得

No Mother I could not feel

不妈妈我感觉不到

your church group praying for my safty

你的教会小组为我祈祷平安

The fact that I'm home safe does not prove that it worked

就算我平安回家也不证明祈祷有效

The logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc

这个逻辑完全是个谬误

No I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk

不我没有用爱斯基摩口吻跟你顶嘴

I'm gonna go let Penny know we're back

我去告诉佩妮我们回来了

Mother I have to go

妈妈我得挂了

Yeah love you Bye

爱你拜

Hello old friend

好啊老朋友

Daddy's home

爹爹回来了

Leonard you're back

莱纳德你回来啦

Yeah I just stopped by to say hmph

对我过来跟你说...

Yeah So hi Hi

-嗨 -嗨

Damn it I should have gone over and told her we were back

妈的早知道我先来说我们回来了

Yeah it was first come first serve

就是先到先得嘛

I just want you both to know

先跟你们俩声明

When I publish my findings

等我发表我的发现时

I won't forget your contributions

我不会忘记你们的付出的

Great Thanks

-太好了 -谢谢

Of course I can't mention you in my Nobel acceptance speech

但在诺贝尔领奖感言中不能提及你们

but when I get around to writing my memoirs

不过写传记时

you can expect a very effusive footnote

我会在注脚上提到你们

and perhaps a signed copy

或者给你们一本我签名的传记

We have to tell him

我们得告诉他

Tell me what

告诉我什么

Damn his Vulcan hearing

该死的瓦肯听力[星际迷航]

You fellows are planning a party for me aren't you

你们打算给我办派对是吧

Okay Sheldon sit down

谢尔顿坐

If there's going to be a theme I should let you know

如果要搞主题派对的话先告诉你们

that I don't care for luau toga or "under the sea "

我不喜欢夏威夷式罗马式和"海底式"

Yeah we'll keep that in mind Look

我们会记在心里

We need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole

我们想谈谈在北极发生的一些事

If this is about the night the heat went out

如果是说没有暖气那晚的事

there's nothing to be embarrassed about

没什么好害臊的

It's not about that

不是那件事

And we agreed never speak of it again

我们说好不再提这个

So we slept together naked

不就是一起裸睡嘛

It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting

这只是以防体温骤降而已

He's speaking about it

他还真说上了

For me it was a bonding moment

对我觉得这可以促进我们的感情

Sheldon you remember the first few weeks

谢尔顿你还记得开始几周

We were looking for magnetic monopoles

我们在探测磁单极子

And not finding anything and you were acting

结果一无所获

like an obnoxious giant dictator

你变成面目可憎的大JJ霸主吗

thought we were going to be gentle with him

我以为要婉转点跟他说呢

That's why I added the "tator "

所以我才加了霸主

And then when we finally got our first positive data

接着终于测出一些可用数据时

you were so happy

你多高兴啊

Oh yes

是啊

In the world of emoticons I was colon capital "D "

用表情字符表达就是:D[笑脸]

Well in actuality what your equipment detected

其实你的仪器侦测的数据

wasn't so much evidence of paradigm shifting monopoles

不是范式转变单极子的证据

as it was

那是...

static from the electric can opener

电动开罐刀具的静电

we were turning on and off

我们在不停开关

He just went colon capital "O "

他的表情一下变成了:O[惊讶]

You tampered with my experiment

你们篡改了我的实验

We had to

我们别无选择

It was the only way to keep you

只有这样

from being such a huge Dickensian

你才不会变成狄更斯专家(混蛋JJ)

You see that I add the "ensian "

懂吗我加了专家

Did Leonard know about this

莱纳德知道吗

Leonard's my best friend in the world

他是我最好的朋友

Surely Leonard didn't know

他肯定不知道

Actually it was his idea

其实这是他的主意

Of course it was The whole plan weeks of Leonard

当然是莱纳德试验计划是他制定的

I missed you so much I missed you too

-我好想你 -我也好想你

I couldn't even think of anyone else while you were gone

你不在我都没想其他人

Me neither

我也是

Except for one night when the heat went out

除了没有暖气那晚

Long story It's Don't ask

说来话长别问了

Leonard

莱纳德

Do not make a sound

别出声

Whispering "Do not make a sound "

你在低声说"别出声"

is a sound

就出声了

Damn his Vulcan hearing

该死的瓦肯听力

Not a good time Sheldon

现在没空谢尔顿

Penny

佩妮

Penny Penny

佩妮佩妮

Oh this is ridicules

啊真是要命

What

干嘛

Hello Penny

你好佩妮

I realize you're currently at the mercy

我明白你现在正完全被

of your primitive biological urges

最原始的野性冲动所控制

but as you have an entire lifetime

可是反正你这辈子还会有

of poor decisions ahead of you may I interrupt this one

无数错误的决定我能不能打断这一个?

It's great to see you too Come on in

我也很高兴见到你请进

Wolowitz has informed me of your grand deception

沃罗威茨刚告诉我你的那个大骗局

Do you have anything to say for yourself

你有没有什么要解释的

Yes I feel terrible about it

是的我对此觉得十分难过

I will never forgive myself I don't expect you to either

我绝不能原谅我自己我也不准备你会

and I would really appreciate it if you would leave me with Penny

我想你应该让我留在这儿跟佩妮

for a session of self criticism and repentance

做一下自我检查和深刻忏悔

Okay can someone please tell me what's going on here

啊你们能不能告诉我究竟是怎么回事儿

What's going on is I was lead to believe

事情是他们让我以为

I was making groundbreaking strides in science

我在科学研究上有了惊天动地的大发现

when in fact I was being fed

而事实上我记录的数据是错的

false data at the hands of Wolowitz Koothrappali

是沃罗威茨和库萨帕里

and your furry little boy toy

还有你这个小毛毛孩儿做出来的

Is that true

真的吗

It was the only way to make him happy

只有这样才能让他高兴啊

Well why'd you have to make him happy

可是你干嘛非要让他高兴呢

Because when he wasn't happy we wanted to kill him

因为他不高兴的时候我们都想杀了他

There was even a plan

我们甚至有过计划

We were going to throw his kindle outside

我们打算把他的炉子扔到外头

and when he went to get it lock the door

等他出去捡的时候把门锁上

and let him freeze to death

冻死他

That seems like a bit of an overreaction

这听起来有点过分吧

No the overreaction was the plan to tie your limbs

这不是过分的计划是把你四肢绑到

to four different sled dog teams and yell "Mush "

四队雪撬狗上然后大喊"驾"

Look we kept the original data

听者我们保存了原始数据

You can still publish the actual results

你还是可以发表你的结果

Yes but the actual results are unsuccessful

但是本来的结果失败了啊

and I've already sent an e mail to everyone at the university

而我已经给大学里所有人发了电邮

explaining that I have confirmed string theory

告诉他们我证实了弦理论

and forever changed man's understanding of the universe

并且永远地改变了人类对宇宙的认识

Aw see yeah you probably shouldn't have done that

啊真是唉你也许不该这么做的

So write another e mail Set the record straight

那就再写一封告诉他们真相

It's no big deal

没什么大不了的

You're right Leonard

你说得对莱纳德

It's not a big deal

没什么大不了的

All you did was lie to me destroy my dream

你不过是欺骗了我摧毁了我的梦想

and humiliate me in front of the whole university

并且在全校人面前羞辱了我

That FYI was sarcasm

这个告诉你是讽刺

I in fact believe it is a big deal

事实上我相信这是很大很大的事情

Oh the poor thing

哦多可怜啊

Yeah I feel terrible

是啊我很难过

Wait wait aren't you going to go talk to him

等等你不去跟他谈谈吗

What Uh he'll be fine

什么呃他没事的

The guy's a trooper Come here

那家伙很坚强的过来么

No you're right you shouldn't talk to him

你说的对你是不该跟他谈

I will

该我来

Man I cannot catch a break

天哪我怎么就没一点好运呢

Do you want to talk

想聊聊吗

About what

聊什么

Being betrayed by my friends

聊我是怎么被朋友欺骗的吗

Spending three months at the North Pole for nothing

毫无意义地在北极呆了三个月

And I didn't even get to go to Comic Con

我连动漫展都没去成

Oh hon

哦亲爱...

嗯

Soft kitty warm kitty

软软的猫猫温温的猫猫...

That's for when I'm sick Sad is not sick

那是我生病时候唱的伤心不是生病

Oh Sorry

对不起

I don't know your sad song

我不知道你伤心的歌啊

I don't have a sad song I'm not a child

我没有伤心的歌我又不是小孩儿

Well you know I do understand what you're going through

你知道么我其实理解你的心情

Really

真的吗

Did you just have the Nobel Prize in waitressing

你刚刚被人抢走了服务员的

stolen from you

诺贝尔奖吗

Well no but when I was a senior in high school

没有不过我高三的时候

one of my friends heard

我的一个朋友听说

I was going to be named head cheerleader

我会被选为啦啦队的队长

Oh I was so excited

哦我那个高兴啊

My mom even made me a celebration pie

我妈甚至给我烤了一个庆祝馅饼

Then they named stupid Valerie Mosbacher head cheerleader

结果他们把队长给了那个笨透了的瓦丽瑞·马斯巴赫

Big old slutbag

那个贱货

Are you saying

你是说

that you think a "celebtion pie"

你认为"庆祝馅饼"

is even remotely comparable to a Nobel Prize

能跟诺贝尔奖相提并论吗

Well they're pretty tasty

嗯那馅饼很好吃呢

And on a different but not unrelated topic

还有一个不同的但并非完全无关的事情

based on your current efforts to buoy my spirits

就看你现在对我的鼓励方式

do you truly believe that you were ever fit

你难道真相信你能胜任

to be a cheer leader

给运动员加油的工作吗

Look Sheldon I just don't think

听着谢尔顿我只是不认为

that the guys and Leonard really meant to hurt you

莱纳德他们真想伤害你

You know They just told an unfortunate lie

你明白吗他们只是为了摆脱困境

to deal with a difficult situation

而撒了个很糟的谎

Okay you know what it's like

好吧你知道是什么样吗

Remember that scene in the new Star Trek movie

记得那个新的《星际迷航》电影里

when Kirk has to take over the ship

柯克要占领飞船

so he tells Spock all that stuff he knew wasn't true

他就对史波克说了很多谎

like saying Spock didn't care his mom died

比如说史波克不在乎他妈妈的死之类的

I missed Comic Con and the new Star Trek movie

我错过了动漫展连新的《星际迷航》电影也错过啦

I like the new look

我喜欢你的新造型

Thanks

谢谢

I call it "the Clooney "

我称之为"克鲁尼" [著名演员]

I call it "the Mario and Luigi but whatever

我称之为"玛丽和路易" [超级玛丽游戏系列] 不过无所谓

Hey how's sheldon doing

嘿谢尔顿怎么样了

Well he came out of his room this morning

他早上从他房间出来时

wearing his Darth Vader helmet and

带着黑武士头盔

trying to chop me to death with the "force"

想用"能量"砍死我

so I would say "a little better "

所以我觉得他好点了

If I may abruptly change the subject

请原谅我突然改变我们的话题

did you and Penny finally you know

你最终有没有跟佩妮那样

Howard Personally I don't care

-霍华德 -我本人是不关心

but my genitals wanted me to ask

但是我的小弟弟叫我问你

Well tell your genitals

告诉你的小弟弟

what I do with Penny is none of their business

我跟佩妮的进展不关他的事

He says they didn't do it

他说他们没发生那种事

Sheldon over here

谢尔顿这边

What are you doing

你在做什么

well I feel bad for the guy

他让我感到难受

Sheldon why are you sitting by yourself

谢尔顿你为什么单独坐在那里

Because I am without friends

因为我没有朋友

Like the proverbial cheese I stand alone

我就像德国童谣唱的奶酪一样独自生存

Evenhile seated

[德语]独自就座

Come on We said we we sorry

拜托我们向你道歉了

It's going to take more than an "I'm sorry"

你的一句"我很抱歉"

and a store bought apology pie from Penny

和从佩妮店里面买的道歉馅饼

to make up for what you've done to me

都不能抵消你们对我犯下的罪行

Hey Cooper

嘿库珀

Read your retraction email

我看到了你发的收回信

Way to destroy your reputation

这下你的名誉可毁了

You see

看到了吧

People have been pointing and laughing at me all morning

整个早上人们一直指指点点嘲笑我

That's not true

不光是今天早上

People have been pointing and laughing at you your whole life

人们一直都在指指点点嘲笑你

All right I've had enough

好了我受够了

Attention everyone

各位请注意

I'm Dr Sheldon Cooper

我是谢尔顿·库珀博士

As many of you in the physics department might know

正如你们中的许多来自物理系的人所知

my career trajectory has taken a minor detour

我的事业轨迹出现了小小的曲折

Off a cliff

坠下了悬崖

My credibility may have been damaged

我的名誉多少受到了点损坏

Completely wrecked

彻底损坏了

But I would like to remind you that in science

但是我想提醒各位的是

there's no such thing as failure

在科学领域不存在失败

There once was a man who was referred to his prediction

曾有一个人因为

of a cosmological constant as the single "biggest blunder"

他对一个宇宙常数的预测而被称为他事业中的最大错误

of his career That man's name was

这个人的名字就是

surprise surprise

你们猜你们猜

Albert Einstein

爱因斯坦

Yeah but research into Dark Energy

但是暗能量的研究

proved that Einstein's cosmological constant

证明爱因斯坦的宇宙常数

was actually right all along so you're still

是一直正确的所以你仍然是一个

surprise surprise

你们猜你们猜

a loser

失败者

Oh you think you're so clever

哦你以为你很聪明

Well let me just tell you

但是让我来告诉你

while I do not currently have a scathing retort

虽然我现在想不出尖刻的话来反驳你

you check your e mail periodically for a doozy

但我想到之后会发邮件给你的

So much for our friendship with Sheldon

我们和谢尔顿的友谊算是完了

Well we always have the night the heat went out

不过暖气停了的那晚将会一直留在我们的记忆中

Hi Hey

-嗨 -嘿

Listen since we got you know interrupted last night

以为我们昨天晚上被打断了

I didn't have a chance to give you this

我没找到机会给你这个

Oh Leonard you shouldn't have

哦莱纳德你不用这样的

Oh boy

哦天哪

What is it

这是什么

It's a snowflake

一片雪花

From the North Pole

北极的雪花

Are you serious

真的吗

Uh huh

是啊

It'll last forever

永不变质的

I preserved in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetal resin

我把它保存在纯净的聚乙烯醇缩醛树脂里了

Oh my God

天哪

That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me

这是我听到但没能理解的话中

that I didn't understand

最浪漫的一句

It's actually a pretty simple process

其实这个过程挺简单的

You see cyanoacrylates are monomers which polymerize on

氰基丙烯酸酯这种单质会聚合于

Red alert Leonard Sheldon ran away

红色警报莱纳德谢尔顿跑了

Man I cannot catch a break

天我就不能走运一回

So how do you know he ran way

你怎么知道他跑了

Well he's not answering his phone

他不接电话

he handed in his resignation at the university

向学校提交了辞职报告

and he sent me a text that said "I'm running away "

他还发短信给我说 "我跑了"

Okay well thanks for letting me know

好吧谢谢你告诉我

Well Leonard aren't you going to do something

莱纳德你不要做点什么吗

Of course I'm going to do something

当然要做了

Uh Howard you check the comic book

霍华德你去漫画书店看看

Raj go to the Thai restaurant

拉杰去泰国饭馆看看

I'll stay here with Penny in her apartment

我跟佩妮呆在她家里

Oh damn it

我靠

It's Sheldon's mother

是谢尔顿他妈

A break cannot be caught

我算是走不了运了

Hi Mrs Cooper

你好库珀夫人

he is

是嘛

Sheldon went home to Texas

谢尔顿回得克萨斯州的家了

Yeah no I know he resigned

是的我知道他辞职了

Yes I guess it is kind of our fault

是的我想是我们的错

No no no You you're right Someone needs to come talk to him

不不不你是对的是要有人跟他谈谈

Don't worry I'll take care of it

别担心我会处理的

Yeah All right

好的好吧

New plan

新计划

Howard you and Raj go to Texas

霍华德你和拉杰特去得克萨斯

I'll stay here with Penny in her apartment

我跟佩妮呆在她家里

Well you're not gonna go with them

你不跟他们一起去吗

Well you know I gave you the snowflake

我刚刚送给你雪花

and we were kissing and

我们正在接吻

Oh come on I don't want to go to Texas

拜托我可不想这时候去得克萨斯

Oh right and I do

你以为我想去

My people already crossed a desert once

我们犹太人已经穿越了一次沙漠了 [圣经故事]

We're done

我们不再干了

Trust me you'll be fine See ya

相信我你会没事的再见

Well wait a second Leonard come on

等一下莱纳德

how can you not go He's your best friend

你怎么能不去呢他是你最好的朋友

Yeah but I already saw him naked

没错但他的裸体我已经看过了

I promise I will be he when you get back

我保证我会等着你回来

Just go help Sheldon

放心去帮谢尔顿吧

Really

真的

Yeah We waited a few months We can wait a few more days

是啊我们已经等了几个月了再等几天又有何妨

Maybe you can

你也许能等

快去

Boy you cannot catch a break can you

天你算是走不了运了

Here you go Shelly Thanks Mom

-给你谢利 -谢谢妈

Hold your horses young man

等等年轻人

Here in Texas we pray before we eat Aw Mom

-这里是德克萨斯州饭前得先祈祷 -妈

This is not California land of the heathen

又不是在加利福尼亚都是异教徒

Gimme

手给我

By His hand we are all fed

-上帝恩赐同胞 -汗血

Give us Lord our daily bread

-欢喜领受为人 -服役

Please know that we are truly grateful

-我们会食同心 -感谢

For every cup and every plateful Amen

-一粥一饭来处 -不易阿门 [基督教谢饭歌]

Now that wasn't so hard was it

也没什么难的是吧

My objection was based on considerations

我拒绝是基于个人意愿

Other than difficulty

而不是难度

Whatever Jesus still loves you

不管怎样耶稣仍然爱你

Thank you for carving a smiley face in my grilled cheese sandwich

谢谢你帮我在烤芝士三明治上刻了个笑脸

Oh I know how to take care of my baby

我知道怎么关心我的宝贝

His eyes cames out a little thin

他的眼睛烤得有点细

But you can just pretend he's Chinese

不过你可以把他假想为中国人

Do you want to talk about what happened with you and your little friends

想谈谈你跟你朋友们怎么回事吗

They're not my friends All right

-他们才不是我朋友 -好吧

If you recall when you were little

回想一下你小的时候

we sat right here at this very spot

我们也是就坐在这里

We talked about some of the problems

也是这样谈起

That you had get in along with the neighbor kids

你和邻居家孩子们相处上的一些问题

That was different

那不同

They were threatened by my intelligence

他们是因我的智慧而感受到威胁

And too stupid to know that's why they hated me

又蠢得不知道这点因此才恨我的

Oh baby they knew very well why they hate you

宝贝他们很清楚自己为什么恨你

I can't believe you bought a red cowboy hat

真不敢相信你还真买了顶红色牛仔帽

Hello I'm wearing a red turtleneck

配我里面穿的红色高领毛衣啊

Plus it was the only boys' large they had

再说童装大号的只有这个色

I'm sorry this does not look like Texas

抱歉可这真不像德克萨斯

Where's the tumbleweeds Whe's the saloons

风滚草呢小酒馆呢 [老电影中德州常见景象]

Saloons

小酒馆

Yeah like in the movies I saw growing up in India

对像我从小在印度看的电影里那种

You know uh Four for Texas Yellow Rose of Texes

比如《德州四杰》[1963年老电影]《德克萨斯的黄玫瑰》[民歌]

This neighborhood is more likeTexas Chainsaw

这附近更像是电锯版的德州

I was really hoping to see a cattle drive

我原指望能看到牛仔赶牛

What can I tell you

怎么说呢

They probably have steaks on sale at that big ass Costco over there

那边那家贼大的好市多[连锁超市] 可能会有牛排出售

Will you please take that stupid hat off

能不能把那顶讨厌的帽子给摘了

No I want to blend in

不行我得入乡随俗

To what Toy Story

入什么乡玩具总动员

Hi boys

你们好孩子们

Howdy ma'am Howdy to you too You got here quick

-你好女士[牛仔常用] -你们也好来得够快的

We took the red eye Well come on in

-我们坐长途夜航班机来的 -快请进

Thank you kindly

衷心感谢

Can Can I get you something to drink

想喝点什么吗

Uh no thank you

不用了谢谢

If you don't mind I got a hankerin' for a Lone Star beer

不介意的话我很想见识下孤星啤酒[德州特产]

There's no alcohol in this household

我们家禁止饮酒

Stop talking like that and lose the hat

别这么说话[指他学德州口音] 把帽子摘了

Sorry I'll take a diet Yoo Hoo if you have it

抱歉有的话给我杯低糖哟呵[巧克力饮料]

You'll take a Coke

就给你可乐吧

What about you Radge isn't it

你呢你叫拉吉[名字搞错了啦] 对吗

Oh you still having trouble talking to the ladies

还是不敢跟女的讲话是吧

Because you know at our church

我们教堂里

We have a woman who's an amazing healer

有位女士是位了不起的治疗师

Mostly she does uh crutch and wheelchair people

多数时候她都在治疗柱拐杖和坐轮椅的

But I bet she'd be willing to take a shot

但我敢打赌她一定愿意试试帮你治疗

At whatever Third World demon is running around inside of you

不管你中的是什么第三世界的邪

Uh if you don't mind Mrs Cooper

请原谅库珀夫人

There's a 3 05 nonstop back to Los Angele

三点零五分有班直达返回洛杉矶的航班

And you have no idea how much I want to be on it

你无法想象我有多想搭上这班飞机

A girl

赶着见女孩子

Uh yes ma'am

是的女士

Oh good I been praying for you

很好我一直在为你祈祷

Oh Sheldon

谢尔顿

What are they doing here

他们来这干嘛

We came to apologize

我们是来道歉的

Again And bring you home

-再次道歉 -并带你回去

So why don't you pack up your stuff and we'll head back

何不快去收拾东西我们这就回去

No this is my home now

不要现在这里就是我的家

Thanks to you my career is over

拜你们所赐我的职业生涯完了

And I will spend the rest of my life here in Texas

我的余生只能在德州度过

Trying to teach evolution to creationists

设法把进化论教给上帝论者们

You watch your mouth Shelly

说话注意点谢利

Everyone's entitled to their opinion

人人都有表达自己意见的权利

Evolution isn't an opinion it's fact

进化论不是种意见而是事实

And that is your opinion

这种一家之言也只是你的意见

I forgive you Let's go home

我原谅你们了我们回家

Don't tell me prey doesn't work

谁说祈祷没有用

How about that I finally caught a break

太好了总算走运了一回

You know how they say when friends have sex it can get weird

都说朋友间发生性关系会变得很奇怪

Sure

是啊

Why does it have to get weird

为什么非得变奇怪

I don't know

我不知道

I mean we were friends and now we're more than friends

我们一直是朋友现在又不仅仅是朋友了

We're whatever "this" is

不管我们现在算什么

But why label it right

干嘛非得归类对吧

I mean it is what it is and

是什么就是什么...

Leonard Yeah

-莱纳德 -嗯

It's weird totally

-我觉得很奇怪 -绝对的