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I was unstoppable
感觉来了挡都挡不住
I mean I was I was on fire
我是说 我当时整个小宇宙都爆发了
It was like my mind and my body were totally connected
犹如进入身心合一之境
like like athletes must feel when they're in the zone
运动员们在进入状态时 估计就是这感觉
Again it was miniature golf
刚才只是打个迷你高尔夫好吗
Admit it you're a little turned on
承认被我迷到"性"致盎然了吧
You can't be this proud
你凭啥这么洋洋得意
Why not
为什么不行
Because I beat you
因为你被我虐爆了
Oh good You're back
太好了 你们回来了
We have some exciting news
我们有一件令人高兴的事宣布
Okay
好吧
As you know Amy and I have been together a long time
你们也知道 我和艾米在一起挺久了
and a lot of things I never thought possible
很多我曾经以为不可能会发生的事
now seem possible
现在看来也很有可能
Okay
好的
After a careful evaluation of our relationship
在谨慎地审视我们这段感情后
we decided that the time was right to
我们觉得现在是时候了
take a step forward
我们想迈出下一步
Okay
好的
Do you want to say it
你想来宣布吗
Let's say it together
我们一起宣布吧
We're getting a turtle
我们要养只乌龟
This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice
这就是为啥我说要保持有冰镇好的香槟
Sarcasm Yes
-讽刺吗 -是的
Okay
好吧
That was tricky 'cause when it comes to alcohol
这题挺有难度 因为通常跟酒相关的事
she generally means business
她都是说真的 从不开玩笑
Well we're we're very happy for you Yes
-我们很为你们感到高兴 -是的
Thank you
谢谢
Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us
一起养一只宠物对我们而言是件大事
No It's true
这是真的
It means that we care so much about each other
这代表我们在乎对方到
there's enough left over for an eight ounce reptile
还能有多余的关爱 分给一只200克的爬行动物
Why a turtle
为什么选乌龟
After much deliberation we've determined that a turtle
在一番深思熟虑过后 我们决定乌龟
is the ideal pet
是最理想的宠物
They don't shed fur they don't make noise
他们不会掉毛 不会发出声音
For Halloween we can dress him as a cobblestone
万圣节时还能他把打扮成一颗鹅卵石
And if he ever goes berserk I know I can outrun him
如果哪天他发狂 我肯定也跑得比他快
Coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate
而无独有偶的是 这也是我选你当室友的理由
Well congratulations
恭喜恭喜
Who would've thought you two would be the first
谁会料到我们这帮人里
in our group to start a family
你们是第一对有儿女的人呢
That's what I said
我也这么说
第八季 第十七集
So where's your roommate tonight
你的室友今晚去哪了
Well I thought it was a little unfair
我觉得她总在这里碍事
that she's always here
对你挺不公平
and you never get a chance to stay over so
因为你从来没有机会在这里过夜 所以...
I killed her
我把她杀了
But remember our agreement
还记得我们的约定吗
You can joke about murdering people
你可以开你杀了人的玩笑
but you have to say "just kidding "
但是你后面得说"开玩笑的啦"
And the more important thing to remember is
而更不该忘的一条重要约定是
that I'd never hurt you
我永远不会伤害你
Oh crap
真倒霉
I have to run over to the hospital and check on a patient
我得赶回医院一趟 察看一个病人
That's okay I can come back later
没关系 我可以晚点再来
No No don't be silly
不用 别傻了
I won't be gone long Just stay here
我不会去太久 就在这待着吧
Okay cool
好 没问题
Oh and you're sure your roommate's not gonna come back
你确定我一个人在这待着时
while I'm here alone right
你的室友不会突然回来吧
'Cause that'll be awkward
因为这样会很尴尬
Oh don't worry She's in Palm Springs
不用担心 她在棕榈泉
Oh good
那就好
Well her torso is
她的躯干在那里
Just kidding
开玩笑的啦
I put her in a wood chipper
我把她扔进碎木机了
Oh dear Lord Oh dear Lord
我的老天 我的老天啊
It's okay
没事的
You made it We're fine
你撑过去了 没事啦
That was a lot of puppies
那也太多小狗了
Let's forget about them and
别管它们了
pick ourselves out a nice turtle
来给我们选只乌龟吧
Oh how about this one up on the log
你看这只在木头上的怎么样
Oh I don't know
我不知道
He kind of looks like a jerk
他看起来像个混蛋
How about this one
你看这只如何
Well he's barely moving He looks half dead
那只不太动 感觉半死不活的
I know I like him too
对啊 我也喜欢他
Hi little guy
小家伙
How'd you like to come home with us
有兴趣跟我们一起回家吗
You'll be living with me
你会跟我一起住
because we don't live in the same house
因为我们不住在一个家里
But that's not your fault
但这不是你的错
Like you we're taking it ridiculously slow
我们像你一样 用超龟速发展这段感情
You'll stay with me when he's at Comic Con or away for work
他去动漫展或上班时 你会跟我待在一起
Or if they accept Daddy's application to live on Mars
如果爸比去火星住的申请通过了 你也跟她住
What are you talking about
你在说什么
Oh there's this company
有一个公司
that's attempting to establish a colony on Mars
他们想要在火星上设立一个殖民地
and I applied to be among the first to go
我申请了当第一批移民
What should we name him
我们该给他取什么名字呢
You know I came in thinking "Seth " but
本来在路上我还打算给他取"塞斯" 可是...
he kind of looks Italian
他长得像个意大利人
You applied for a mission
你申请要成为
to be a colonist on another planet
另一个行星的移民者
and couldn't be bothered to tell me
而你都没想过告诉我一声吗
Would you have approved
事先说你会同意吗
Of course not
当然不会
Well based on your reaction
从你的反应来看
it looks like I made the right choice
我做了正确的选择
Isn't that right Giuseppe
对不对呀 朱塞佩[意大利名]
Listen I I have a little confession to make
听着 我要跟你坦白件事
Aw is this your first time
哎哟 客官第一次吗
No I got you something for Valentine's Day
不是啦 我情人节给你买了份礼物
and I was too embarrassed to give it to you
当时觉得太难为情没敢送给你
Well why
为什么
Well 'cause I got it at the dirty store
因为我是从"色色"用品店里买的
You went to the dirty store without me
你居然去色色用品店不带我
In sunglasses and a hat after I parked two blocks away
我特意戴了墨镜和帽子 还把车停在两条街外
Well get it Get it for me
拿来 快给我拿来
Yeah Yeah
-真的想要吗 -真的
Okay uh well I hope it's fun
好吧 我希望会好玩
I mean it it comes with paints and and
因为这玩意配有颜料
it's kind of creative and artistic
所以富有创造力和艺术性
Okay did you go to the dirty store or Michaels
你是去了色色用品店还是"着色"用品店啊
No no
不是
We cover ourselves in body paint
我们把人体彩绘颜料涂身上
and then then we get on this big canvas and do our thing
然后在这张大画布上"办事"
Whoa that's kind of a big step for a guy
哇 对于一个最近刚愿意做爱时
who only recently agreed to take his socks off
把袜子脱掉的男人来说 跨出了很大一步啊
You're making fun of me Forget it
你在嘲笑我 算了吧
No No come on I want to do it
不 来嘛 我想试试
Really Yeah
-真的吗 -对啊
let's you me
让我和你
and your very very pale feet make some art
还有你那对白皙的脚丫子 一起创造艺术吧
Hey when you got back to this store I want to go with you
对了 你下次去那家店的时候 我想跟你一起去
Okay but it's a drive
好啊 不过有点远
the one I went to is in San Diego
我去的那家在圣地亚哥
剧中主角住在美国加州的帕萨迪纳
How are the taxes going
报税弄得怎么样了
Okay
还行
But you got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here
但你在乐高商店消费的发票真多
Those are business expenses
那些都是业务支出
You can write those off
你可以把那些冲销
A $200 R2 D2 is a business expense
价值两百美元的R2-D2机器人也是业务支出吗
Oh Bernie
妮妮
you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident
等我们被税务局审查时 你的语气得比现在
when we get audited
更自信才行
Hey what's up
怎么了
Eh Emily ran back to the hospital
艾米丽回医院了
so I'm just hanging out at her place
所以我在她家四处转转
What are you uh what are you doing
你呢 你在干什么
Just playing video games while Bernie does the taxes
我在打电动 妮妮在报税
What are you a little kid
你是三岁小孩吗
Is she gonna cut your dinner into little pieces too
你老婆是不是还要帮你把晚餐切成小块呀
She doesn't have to I filled up on jelly beans
不用啊 我吃果冻软糖就吃饱了
So uh what game are you
那你在玩什么电动
Crap
糟糕
What's wrong
怎么了
I can't get Emily's nightstand to close
我合不上艾米丽的床头柜了
So
所以呢
She's gonna know I was looking in it
她就会发现我偷翻她的抽屉啊
Why were you looking in it
那你为什么要看呢
Well there's a question
这个问题
I better have a good answer to before she gets back
我最好在她回来之前想好答案
Okay calm down
好吧 冷静
There's probably something jammed behind it
很可能抽屉里面有东西卡住了
Just uh pull it out and see what's there
你把它拉出来 看看是什么
Hang on
等一下
Oh no Oh no
完了 完了
Oh God no
这下完蛋了
You know what you sound busy I'm gonna let you go
你听起来很忙 那我就不打扰你啦
Dude the whole front came off
伙计 前面板整个都掉下来了
Now she's gonna know I was snooping
这下她肯定知道我在偷翻她东西
What's happening
发生什么事了
Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one
拉杰偷翻艾米丽的抽屉 结果弄坏了一个
I'm gonna miss her
分手了我会想她的
So what do you think
你觉得怎么样
I thought it'd be a little more
我还以为会更...
just more
多点
I'm not even sure why we were out of breath
我都不懂我们为啥喘得上气不接下气
Uh I mean d did we move at all
我是说 我们有移动过一丁点吗
Maybe along the z axis
可能有顺着Z轴移动
but x and y are looking pretty sad
但X轴和Y轴看了让人想落泪
Okay come on We are not old boring people
拜托 我们不是又老又无趣的人
We can do better than this
我们可以"做"得比这更好
Uh th that's true
你说得对
How late did we stay up last night
昨晚我们熬夜到几点
Almost 1 00 a M
将近凌晨一点吧
Damn straight almost 1 00 a M
太对了 将近凌晨一点呢
And we weren't even watching TV
而且我们不是在看电视
We were watching Netflix like the kids do
我们看的是视频网站 就像小年轻那样
Yeah is it a comedy Is it a drama
是啊 看的是喜剧还是普通电视剧
Nobody knows
谁知道啊
Now come on We are gonna do this
来吧 我们要卷土重"做"
Yeah You get the paint
好的 你去拿颜料
I'll rest for 30 40 minutes
我休息个30到40分钟
and then we do this
然后我们大"干"一场
I can't believe you almost had me bring
真不敢相信你差点就让我把
a wild animal into my home
一只野动物带回家
No one told you to poke the turtle's face
没人让你去戳乌龟的脸
I was playing "Got Your Nose "
我跟它玩"偷走你的鼻子"游戏
That's how you get children to like you
通常想让小孩喜欢你就这么玩
I'm surprised you even care if he likes you
我很惊讶你居然会在乎他会不会喜欢你
since you're planning on leaving the planet the first chance you get
因为只要机会来了 你第一时间就会离开这星球
Ugh this again
又来了
Amy I've already had one new hole torn in my body today
艾米 我的身体今天已经被咬了一个洞了
I don't need another one
心上不需要再多一个
Sheldon I know the odds of you
谢尔顿 我知道
even going to Mars are incredibly small
你去火星的几率非常渺茫
but it still hurts that you would volunteer for something
但是一想到你自愿申请会永远离开我的项目
that would take you away from me forever
我还是觉得很难过
So you're saying you wouldn't leave me
所以你是说如果你有机会
for the chance to be one of the first humans
成为移民另一个星球的第一批人类
to colonize another planet
你也不会离开我吗
I would at least mention it
我至少会在提交申请前
before filling out the application
跟你提一下这个事
Huh that's exactly what Leonard Wolowitz Koothrappali
莱纳德 沃罗威茨 库萨帕里
Bernadette and Penny said
博纳黛特和佩妮也是这么说的
And who says you could even survive
再说了 你怎么可能胜任
an interplanetary mission anyway
这种太空任务呀
You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite
你被乌龟咬一下都差点挂了
First of all this
首先 这个伤口
has only made me stronger
只会让我变得更坚强
But beyond that all I did
再说了 我只不过
was fill out an application
提交了申请而已
You know what
我受够了
Go to Mars Sheldon
滚去火星吧 谢尔顿
Is there anything I can do to cheer you up
我能做点什么让你不生气吗
No Forget it
不能 别白费力气了
What if I play the Star Trek theme on my nose
我用鼻子哼哼《星际迷航》主题曲呢
Please don't
求求你别这么做
Yep you're mad
哇 你真的生气了
Okay let me see the damage
让我看看损坏的程度
Hang on
等一下
Well I think you broke the dowels
你可能把暗榫弄坏了
You're not gonna have time to glue it back on
你没有时间把它粘回去了
you'll have to nail it
只能用钉子钉上
With what
用什么钉啊
Does she have any pillows or wine glasses
她那里有枕头或者酒杯吗
She does
有耶
Great
太好了
Neither of those Try a hammer
这两样都没用 去找把锤子
Did that feel good
玩我你爽了吗
You feel like a big man now
你觉得自己棒棒哒了吗
I was going to make you red zinger
我本想帮你泡杯红花茶
but since Mars is the red planet
但鉴于火星也是红色的星球
I went with peppermint
我还是给你泡薄荷茶吧
Why do you even want to do this
你到底为什么想参加这个项目呢
Actually
其实呢
as part of the application
申请中的一部分
I was required to make a short video
就是要我录一段短片
answering that very question
回答这个问题
You want to see it
你想看看吗
Can't you just tell me
你就不能直接告诉我吗
But I made a video
但是人家录了短片的呀
I'm Dr Sheldon Cooper
在下是谢尔顿·库珀博士
and I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to
我要告诉你们为什么应该选我...
go to Mars
上火星
I'm exceedingly smart
我聪明绝顶
I graduated college at 14
14岁就从大学毕业了
While my brother was getting an STD
我的兄弟得性病时
I was getting a PhD
我就已经得博士学位了
Penicillin can't take this away
青霉素可消除不掉这成就哦
Being in close quarters cleanliness is important
在狭小的空间里 保持清洁至关重要
and my hygiene is impeccable
而我的卫生习惯无懈可击
In fact animals don't trust me
动物都无法信任我
because I smell like nothing
因为我身上什么味都没有
Yeah
真的
Literally nothing
啥味都没有
During the seven month space flight
在长达7个月的太空飞行中
I can keep up morale with my wacky sense of humor
我可以用我独特的幽默感保持士气
Hey Leonard
莱纳德
is there any peanut brittle left in that can
那个罐子里还有花生糖吗
You mean this weirdly suspicious one
你是指这个超级可疑的罐子吗
Yes Open it and check
是的 打开看看嘛
I don't get it
我不明白了
There's actually peanut brittle in
这里面真的有花生糖...
Please go to Mars
求求你去火星好吗
But on a more serious note
言归正传
The most important reason I want to go to Mars is that
我想去火星的最大原因是
I believe as a scientist
我坚信 身为一位科学家
it's my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward
突破人类认知的极限是我的天职
Now I know that life on Mars will be difficult
我知道火星上的生活将无比艰难
But life here on Earth is no picnic
但地球上的日子也不像野餐那么好玩
Also picnics are no picnic
当然 野餐本身也不好玩
Where should we go for lunch
我们该去哪里吃午餐
Oh I know the ground
我知道 去地上吃吧
In conclusion
总而言之
thank you for considering me
多谢你们观看我为
for this journey of a lifetime
这段千载难逢的旅行录制的申请
To Mars
上火星
Afterwards Leonard blew his nose
后来 莱纳德从他的鼻子里
and pie came out
擤出了派呢
Right there right there
就是那里 就是那里
Oh God that's it
天啊 终于啊
How did you get paint in your eye
你是怎么把颜料弄到眼睛里
Because you wouldn't let me wear safety goggles
都是因为你不让我戴防护眼镜
This looks terrible
看上去一团糟啊
She she's gonna know
她肯定会发现
It's fine
没关系
You just need two more nails
你就差两个钉而已了
Okay where should I put them
好的 应该钉在哪里
In Emily's eyes
钉在艾米丽的眼睛里
You're not helping
你真是帮倒忙
Well maybe this is what you get for snooping
所以这就是你偷翻人东西的报应
You know it it's bad enough that I have to deal with this
我要处理这一摊事就已经够烦了...
Raj I'm back
拉杰 我回来了
Oh no
死了
How was the hospital
医院情况还好吗
Fine
很好
What were you doing in there
你在里面干什么呢
Uh w well
那个...我...
Okay look I I don't want to lie to you
我不想对你撒谎
I I got curious I was looking around
我很好奇 于是我到处看了看
and I broke the drawer on your night stand
然后我就弄坏了你的床头柜抽屉
You were looking in my night stand
你翻看了我的床头柜抽屉吗
Yeah
是的
So the first time I leave you alone
所以我第一次让你单独留在家里
you snoop on me
你就开始到处偷翻
You've never snooped around my apartment
你从来没偷翻过我的公寓吗
No
没有
Come on think back
快 好好想想
It would really help if you had
你要是有过前科会很有帮助哟
I can't believe you don't trust me
真没想到你这么不相信我
She sounds really mad
她听起来很火大啊
We should hang up
我们应该挂掉
Yeah we should
对 是应该
But we're not going to are we
但我们不会这么做 对不对
Not a chance
门都没有
What happened to "snooping is wrong"
不是说"偷翻是不对的"吗
Howard you're going to jail for tax fraud
反正你本来就要因为税收欺诈去坐牢了
Who cares
这有啥所谓
Well we did it
我们"做"到了
We sure did
确实"做"到了
I mean I was on fire
我整个小宇宙都爆发了
I I was in the zone like an athlete
我超在状态 像运动员一样
Sweetie I beat you at this too
亲爱的 这次你也是被我虐爆了
So where do we want to hang it
那我们把它挂哪儿
What Are you kidding
什么 你开什么玩笑
We're not hanging it
才不要挂起来
But it's an expression of our love
但这是我们爱情的展示
And our butts Not hanging it
也是我们的屁股 不挂
Seems a shame to throw it away
扔了怪可惜的
Yeah
是啊
We could give it to Sheldon
我们可以送给谢尔顿
and tell him William Shatner painted it
告诉他是威廉·夏特纳画的
电视剧《星际旅行:初代》中饰演星舰舰长詹姆斯·T·寇克
God I love you I love you so much
天 我爱你 我爱死你了
I think I'm gonna go home
我要回家了
Why
为什么
I really don't understand what's happening here
我真不理解这是什么情况
You know Sheldon at any other time
谢尔顿 如果是任何其他时候
learning that you had plans to go live on Mars
知道你计划要去火星上住
would be a slow news day
那这事只是你太晚告诉我而已
But a couple of hours ago
但几个小时前
we were getting a turtle
我们还要一起养乌龟
And silly as it sounds
虽然说起来有点傻
I thought that meant something
但我以为那代表着什么
Amy
艾米
Oh why didn't I give her Sleepy Time tea
我为什么没给她喝睡觉觉茶
Amy wait
艾米 等等
Getting a turtle meant a great deal to me too
要养乌龟对我来说也是意义重大
Sure
当然
Unless something better comes along
除非有更好的事发生嘛
Do you want me to withdraw my application
你想让我撤销我的申请吗
What I want is for us
我想要的是
to be planning our future together
我们一起计划共同的未来
And in that future
在你说的未来
are we on the same planet
我们是在同一星球上吗
Yeah because I've seen people make the long distance thing work
因为我也看过远距离异地恋成功的例子
We're on the same planet
我们是在同一星球上
Okay
知道了
Does that planet have to be Earth
一定要在地球这颗星球吗
Are you asking me to go to Mars with you
你是在邀请我和你一起去火星吗
I am
我是
Yeah if I'm going to a barren lifeless environment
如果我要前往一个贫瘠无生命
where the chances of survival are slim to none
生存几率接近于零的地方时
I want you there with me
我希望你在我身旁
Why don't we go back to the apartment
要不要跟我回家
and fill out your application
把你的申请填了
Okay
I suppose being the first people
我想能成为第一批
on a new planet would be incredibly exciting
在新星球居住的居民 应该挺刺激的
Oh I know
我知道
We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars
我们可以成为第一批在火星插旗的人
We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks On Mars
成为第一批在火星上看《火星入侵》电影的人
We could be the first to say
我们也可以是第一批
"Good Lord what on Mars are you talking about "
"天了噜 你说的什么火星话啊"
You know
你知道吗
we could also be the first people
我们也可以成为第一批
to procreate on Mars
在火星生育的人
You just can't keep it in your space pants can you
你的太空裤就是系不严 是不是
Think about it
你想想
If we had a family there
如果我们在那里成家
our kids would be Martians
我们的孩子就是火星人了
They would wouldn't they
他们还真会是 对不对
We could give them cool Martian names
我们可以给他们取酷酷的火星人名字
And we could teach them about Martian history
教他们火星人的历史
Like who planted those flags
比如这些个旗子都是谁插的
And uh where did that copy of Mars Attacks Come from
还有《火星入侵》影带是谁带来的
I guess we'll have to make a new video together as a couple
也许我们需要以情侣身份录个新视频了
Good idea
好主意
And since you've had such a rough day
既然今天你这么不开心
I'm gonna let you throw the pie in Leonard's face
我愿意让你用馅饼呼莱纳德一脸
Thank you for forgiving me
谢谢你原谅我
It's okay
不客气
At some point we were bound to have our first fight
恋爱后的第一次争吵 早晚都会发生呀
Well it almost happened when you called
你说我的脆皮苹果派不脆又没味时
my apple pie crust "Doughy "
就差点发生了
The truth is you were right
事实是你当时说得对
And I was just angry at myself
我只是气自己罢了
Can I ask you one thing
我能问你件事吗
Of course What
当然 什么事
Did you look in my closet
你看没看过我的衣柜
No Just the drawer
没有 只有抽屉
You promise you didn't look in the closet
你发誓你没看过吗
I promise
我发誓
Why what's in there
为什么 里面有什么
Don't worry about it
你别管了
Good night
晚安