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It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores
说来真奇怪 人们总是来漫画书店买书
instead of just downloading comics digitally
而不是直接从网上下载电子版的
It's probably for the best
这样可能更好
For a lot of these guys the weekly trip here
对于很多宅男来说 这里是每周出门的唯一理由
is the only chance their mom has to go down
他们妈妈也好抓紧自己儿子唯一挪窝的时间
to the basement and change their sheets
冲进房间换上干净的床单
Oh that reminds me I get fresh sheets tonight Yay
这倒提醒我 我今晚有干净的新床单睡了
Well
怎么样
What do you think of New Comic Book Night
感觉新漫画书之夜如何
Magic huh
很神奇吧
Sheldon I'm disappointed
谢尔顿 我其实很失望
As a brilliant man
作为一个天才
you're entitled to a vice
你也算数一数二的人物
I could understand frequenting an opium den
我能理解你经常逛鸦片窑
or hunting your fellow man for sport
或是为了好玩去猎杀你的同伴
But this Lame o
但是看漫画 逊咖
Well A Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art
首先 漫画书通过连环画来讲述故事
an medium that dates back 17 000 years
这种方式可追溯到一万七千年前
to the cave paintings of Lascaux
拉斯科洞穴壁画时代
and B You play the harp
其次 你还玩竖琴呢
Like that's cool
你以为那很酷吗
Can I help you find anything
要我帮你找漫画吗
A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom
有没有描述一个女人的乳房
can't be used as a flotation device
不能用来当救生装置的漫画
Sorry Most of the guys
抱歉 来这里的男生
who come in here like big boobs
大部分都喜欢大咪咪
Couple of them have big boobs
有几个自己的咪咪也挺大的
The new Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack is out
"卡亚战神"出了新的扩展包
A new one Unbelievable
又出新的 有没有搞错
They just keep making up more cheesy monsters
这帮人老是瞎掰一些新的怪物
slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop
把它们印到卡上 一包卖25块钱
It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid
这是在暗中让没女人的宅男多掏一份税钱
They're not even trying
他们真是太不给力了
Remember the Satanimals pack with the Hellephant
还记得那个有"地狱大象"的"邪恶撒旦"包吗
Why absurd
太扯淡了
What was he a bad elephant who died and went to hell
他算个啥 死了以后下地狱的邪恶大象吗
What could an elephant possibly do
一头大象能干出啥坏事
that would cause him eternal damnation
死了以后还要被打下地狱
"Wild West and Witches"
"狂野西部女巫"
What kind of loser cares about a showdown
有哪个白痴会关心
between Billy the Kid and the White Wizard of the North
比利小子和北方白袍巫师的决战
A total loser
只有窝囊废才关心
Obviously a guy with a six shooter
不就是一个手持六发左轮手枪的小子
beats an old man with a magic wand
打败了一个手持魔杖的老人嘛
Well h hold on
等等
Uh what if the wizard casts
要是那个巫师
a Helmet of Confusion spell on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat
在比利小子的牛仔帽上下了困惑头盔咒呢
What Please
什么 拜托
This is Billy the Kid we're talking about
我们说的可是比利小子
I mean the wizard would get shot between the eyes
巫师还没来得及说话呢
before he could ever get out the words
就已经被爆头了
"What the hell is Billy the Kid doing
比利小子究竟去
in the mystic realm of Ka'a "
卡亚秘境干嘛
Leonard
莱纳德
What's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy
谢尔顿和他朋友艾米是啥关系
Are they a couple
他们是一对吗
Couple of weirdos Why
一对怪人倒是真的 怎么了
You interested in Amy
你对艾米感兴趣吗
Well I mean she didn't look through me
我只是觉得她看我的时候
with soul sucking ball shriveling
不会觉得我灵魂恶心 胆小如鼠
hatred and contempt
也不会一脸厌恶和鄙夷
I like that in a woman
我喜欢这种女人
Could you run it by Sheldon if I could ask her out
能否帮我问问谢尔顿 我能不能约她出去玩
Sure I guess
当然可以
Stuart settle an argument for us
斯图尔特 帮我们解决下争议
Who would win
谁会赢
Billy the Kid or the White Wizard
比利小子还是白袍巫师
If I tell you that
我要是告诉你们
I'm robbing you of the hours of fun you could have
我就剥夺了你们玩这个游戏的快乐
for the magical rootin' tootin' low price of $24 95
现在超低价 只卖24块9毛5哦
I'll take one
我要一个
Mm make it two
那 要两个吧
I hate all of you and myself Three
我恨你们和我自己 要三个
I'll ring it up
我去下单
Like shooting nerds in a barrel
瓮中捉鳖 易如反掌
By aBu 201705
生活大爆炸 第五季 第十集
Hey can I talk to you about something
我能跟你谈件事吗
It's a little awkward
有点难开口
I know what this is about
我知道你要说什么
Given the professional standstill you're at
鉴于你事业上的停滞不前
you're wondering if this is the appropriate time
你现在肯定想知道是否应该
to abandon your research and focus on teaching
放弃科研 专攻教育事业
Yes
应该
And if I may suggest
而且我建议你
consider changing disciplines
考虑教别的学科
Yeah to the humanities perhaps history
比如人文学科 就像历史
One of the advantages of teaching history
教历史的一个好处在于
is that you don't have to create things
你不用搞创造发明
You know you just have to remember stuff that happened
你只要记住历史上发生过的事
and then parrot it back
然后鹦鹉学舌般复述就行
You could have fun with that
你会觉得很开心的
Yeah that's not it
我要说的不是这个
Stuart's kind of interested in Amy
斯图尔特对艾米感兴趣
Oh of course he is She's very interesting
这当然啦 她是非常有趣的人
Did you know when she was 14
你知道吗 她14岁的时候
she severed the webbing between her own toes
自己把脚趾间连着的皮割开了
No
不是这个意思
He wanted me to find out
他叫我问问
if you'd have a problem with him asking her out
你介不介意他约艾米出去玩
I'm not sure how to respond Leonard
我不确定该怎么回答 莱纳德
I don't own Amy
艾米又不是我的人
Can't own a person
我也不能拥有某个人
At least not since
至少从什么时候开始不能呢
1863
1863年
President Lincoln freed the
因为林肯总统解放了什么呢
Slaves Come on Leonard
黑奴 拜托 莱纳德
if you're going to teach history
如果你要去教历史
these are the kind of facts you'll have to know
你就该知道这些历史事件
You know what Never mind
好吧 当我没说
I'm going to tell him it's okay to ask her out
我就让他放心大胆地去约艾米吧
The question is moot
这问题毫无意义
There is no way that Stuart
斯图尔特这么一个
an impoverished peddler of picture books
穷不啦叽的漫画店老板
would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler
对艾米·菲拉·福勒毫无吸引力可言
a noted neurobiologist
她可是著名神经生理学家
一氧化二氮有轻微麻醉作用 并致人发笑
capable of performing surgery on her own feet
只用罐子里的鲜奶油做出的
with nothing but nitrous oxide
一氧化二氮当麻醉剂
from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia
就能给自己的脚动手术
All right but for the record
好吧 不过强调一下
I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it
我可是特意征询过你对此事的感受
Fine The record shall so reflect
知道了 我已经如实回答了
Now getting back to the problem at hand
现在我们回到要紧的问题上
what to do with a washed up experimental physicist
失败的实验物理学家应该怎么办...
I am not washed up
我没有失败
Oh Leonard
莱纳德
Lots of people love you and want to help you
有很多人关心你 想帮助你
but they can't until you admit the problem
但除非你正视自己的问题 否则都是徒劳
Well ladies we killed the bottle
姑娘们 我们喝完了一瓶
I had half a glass
我只喝了半杯
I didn't have any Okay don't judge me
- 我一点都没喝上 -好吧 别怪我
So what do you want to do
你们想玩什么
go to the movies go dancing lay down for a little bit
看电影 去跳舞 还是去躺一会
Or we play Travel Twister
或者我们可以玩扭扭乐
Amy really Twister
真的吗 艾米 扭扭乐
Excuse me I've passed many an enjoyable evening playing this game
拜托 扭扭乐伴我度过了无数个美好的夜晚
And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting
而且我觉得和别人一起玩
when you play with other people
肯定更有趣
What do you say bestie We can do shirts and skins
怎么样 闺蜜 我们分成穿衣队和不穿衣队
I'm shirts Called it
我是穿衣队 不好意思先挑咯
I'm too small for Twister
我太娇小了 不能玩扭扭乐
And roller coasters
过山车也不行
And sitting with my feet on the floor
坐着的时候脚也够不到地上
Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes Mom
都怪你怀孕的时候抽烟 妈妈
Hey you know my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me
我妈妈怀孕的时候也抽烟
and I turned out just fine
但我身心发育完好
Hey look I have peach schnapps
瞧 还有蜜桃酒呢
Thank God
谢天谢地
Guys something happened
姑娘们 出事了
What's wrong
怎么了
I think a boy likes me
我觉得有个男生喜欢我
"Hi It's Stuart
你好 我是斯图尔特
"We met at the comic book store
我们在漫画店里见过
"I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee sometime
不知道我能不能约你出来喝杯咖啡
"It's okay if you say no
你拒绝也没关系
"It might be the kick in the pants I need
就是这打击有点大
to start taking Zoloft "
没准我得去吃片舍曲林[抗焦虑药物]
Amy little vixen
艾米 你个小狐狸精
Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester
衣服穿这么多 还挡不住你的骚气呀
What are you going to do
你要怎么办
Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend
他不知道你有男朋友了吗
Oh she doesn't have a boyfriend
她有的不是男朋友
she has a Sheldon
是谢尔顿
So do you like Stuart
你喜欢斯图尔特吗
I don't know
我不知道
He's nice
他人不错
He's funny
挺风趣
He has the sallow drawn countenance
就是有些面黄肌瘦
associated with an overactive thyroid gland
还有活跃得不太正常的甲状腺
That's kind of hot
那还挺性感的
Okay look sweetie we all love Sheldon
好吧 亲爱的 我们都喜欢谢尔顿
but you've been with him over a year now
但你和他一起都一年多了
If it's not going anywhere
如果没有新进展
what does it hurt to look around
何不发展新恋情呢
Well yeah I guess they're not engaged like me and Howie
就是 他们也没订婚 不像我和华仔
Yeah for what it's worth
好吧 不管怎样
engaged people can look around too
就算订了婚也可以反悔的
Lot of options out there
外面的世界很精彩哦
Where's Stuart
斯图尔特呢
Out
出去了
Who are you
你是谁
I'm Dale
戴尔
He left me in charge
他让我看店
Really
真的吗
Yeah
是的
I don't get it either
我也搞不懂
I want to return this
我想退掉这个
"Wild West and Witches Ka'a" expansion pack
"荒野西部与卡亚女巫"的扩展包
Sorry I don't do returns
抱歉 我不处理退货
They're hard
太难了
Sure sure
当然
Uh when will Stuart be back
斯图尔特什么时候回来
I don't know He went out for coffee
我不知道 他出去喝咖啡了
With a girl
和个女孩一起哟
Oh I guess I was wrong
我想我错了
You okay
你还好吧
Am I okay
我还好吧
Leonard I'm on a lifelong trajectory
莱纳德 我这辈子迟早会拿诺贝尔奖
that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me
有座城市还要以我的名字命名
all four wisdom teeth
我的四颗智齿
fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction
在我嘴里安稳地长着 完全不用拔掉
我的肠道活动就像德国火车一样规律
Am I okay
你说我还好吗
I'm okay too
那我也很好
Wild Bill Witchcock
荒野女巫柯克
A tribe of Abra Comanches
阿布拉-科曼切部落
Flaming Spittoon
燃烧的痰盂
And for the record
强调一下
I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes
我对你们这些牛仔很失望
We're playing our inaugural round of "Wild West and Witches"
这是咱们第一次玩"狂野西部女巫"
and I'm the only one
居然只有我一个人
who bothered to dress for the occasion
费尽苦心地穿了应景的服装
Patooie
我呸
We're not wearing cowboy hats Sheldon
我们才不要戴牛仔帽呢 谢尔顿
It looks ridiculous
看起来好白痴
And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous too
这么说我的靴子和马刺也很白痴咯
Yeah Very Incredibly so
-是的 -非常白痴 -超级白痴
Did it look ridiculous when we got the Satanimals pack
那咱们上次玩"撒旦动物"时
and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat
我装扮成"恶魔猫"也很白痴吗
Yeah Very Incredibly so
-是的 -非常白痴 -超级白痴
All right fine Let's just play
好吧 算了 咱就纯玩吧
We should go easy on him
咱们今天晚上就饶了他吧
Amy's out with Stuart tonight
艾米今晚跟斯图尔特出去了
Wait a minute
等会
Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented blend
你是说谢尔顿的不可一世
of condescension and no sex
和无性交往的专利
isn't enough to hold on to a woman
留不住一个女人吗
Cluck cluck cluck
傻笑 傻笑 傻笑
What are we ladies at a quilting bee
咱是聚在一起缝棉被的家庭妇女吗
Or are we men playing a fantasy card game
还是正在玩一个背景设在魔幻边境的
set in a magical frontier town
魔幻桌游的一群男人
Sorry
抱歉
Creepy Tepee
诡异帐篷
Annie Ogly
奇丑安妮
Hocus Pocus Pocahontas
魔幻波卡洪塔斯[印第安公主]
And may I point out it is the three of you
容我说一句 你们仨
who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy not me
真是皇帝不急 太监急
I think you need to ask yourselves
你们才该扪心自问一下
who's really being ridiculous here
究竟谁才是白痴
It's you You are Totally you
-你 -是你 -绝对是你
Hey guys check it out
伙计们 看呀
The deluxe limited edition "Wild West and Witches"
这是装在金属盒里 附上签名的
expansion pack in the signed and numbered collector's tin
豪华限量版的"狂野西部女巫"
Come on no
不是吧
We just bought the regular pack
我们刚买了平装版
Ooh a sheriff's badge
是警徽
Yeah it's also a wand
没错 还是根魔杖
With a hologram Nice
还有全息图呢 真漂亮
Hey do you see this
你看见没
I'm in the matrix Leonard I see everything
我在矩阵里 莱纳德 我什么都看得见
You got to be kidding me
你搞什么
You friended Stuart on Facebook
你在Facebook加了斯图尔特为好友
I thought you didn't like Facebook anymore
你不是不喜欢玩Facebook了嘛
Don't be silly
别傻了
I'm a fan of anything that tries to
我喜欢一切试图取代
replace actual human contact
人类面对面接触的东西
Please
拜托
You're looking at Facebook to find out how their date went
你上Facebook就为看他们约会得如何
Really
真的吗
You think I care if a man what
我觉得我会关心一个大男人
"shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady"
"跟一位绝世美女分享一杯南瓜拿铁"吗
You're so full of it
你真是醋劲十足
You are free to believe whatever you like
随便你怎么想
And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali
取消和拉杰什·库萨帕里的好友关系
You unfriended me Seriously
你取消了和我的好友关系 真的吗
Oh yeah
这下坏了
Now he's gonna miss all those great updates like
他这下就要错过你的精彩更新了 像是
"I can't believe I waited this long
"我真不敢相信我居然等了这么久
to make my own potpourri"
才整理出我的个人文集"
Sheldon why don't you just acknowledge
谢尔顿 你何不直接承认
that you have feelings for Amy
你喜欢艾米
and you don't want her going out with other men
而且你不想她跟其他男人约会呢
And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter
解除和莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德的好友关系
Here's a radical thought
我有个激进点的主意
Go old school challenge Stuart to a fight
你干脆采取老一套 跟斯图尔特决斗吧
I mean nothing makes the ladies hotter
没有什么能比两个瘦骨嶙峋的白人男子
than two skinny white guys
闭着眼猛敲对方
swatting at each other with their eyes closed
更能让一个女人热血沸腾的了
And unfriend Howard Wolowitz
解除与霍华德·沃罗威茨的好友关系
That's all of us
咱们都被删了
Can I use the laptop Why
-电脑借我用一下吧 -干嘛
I have to buy that stupid collector's tin
我要买那个傻逼收集版的游戏
Who do we love Penny
-我们大家都爱谁 -佩妮
Who do we love Penny
-我们大家都爱谁 -佩妮
Who do we love Penny
-我们大家都爱谁 -佩妮
Hello Sheldon
你好呀 谢尔顿
Come on in
进来吧
Thank you What's up
-谢谢 -怎么了
I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me
我是来问你 愿不愿意跟我约会的
I'm sorry what
抱歉 你说什么
A date
约会
You and me
你跟我
Dining dancing
共进晚餐 跳舞
perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight
没准你会有兴趣参加个职业拳击赛什么的
God are you trying to make Amy jealous
天啊 你是想让艾米吃醋吗
No
不是
Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart
为何大家这么关心艾米和斯图尔特呢
Whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes
讨论他们今晚是否会继续喝南瓜拿铁
or intercourse tonight
或今晚是否会发生关系
Okay listen to me
好吧 听我说
Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back
耍把戏是不会帮你把艾米抢回来的
I am not trying to get her back
我没准备把她抢回来
But out of curiosity what is a way
不过 纯属好奇 怎么才能把她抢回来呢
All right honey let me tell you a story
好吧 亲爱的 我给你讲个故事吧
There was a guy I liked and I never told him how I felt
我喜欢过一个男人 但从未对他表白过
Eventually he started going out with someone else
最终他开始跟别人约会
and I always regretted it
于是我一直很后悔
Do you see where I'm going with this
你明白我的意思了吗
I believe I do
我想是的
I'm the guy
我就是你暗恋的那个人
You're not the guy
不是你
Are you sure
你确定吗
That would explain so much
这就解释了一切
Your constant presence in my apartment
你总是赖在我家不走
that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me
你和莱纳德厮混也只是为了靠近我
the way you call me "sweetie" all the time
还有你一直叫我"亲爱的"
I call everyone "sweetie "
我见谁都叫"亲爱的"
You tramp
你个荡妇
Look Sheldon all I'm saying is
谢尔顿 我的意思是
strap on a pair and go talk to Amy
带点种 去找艾米谈谈吧
"Strap on a pair"
带什么
Of what skates
系鞋带吗
Oh sweetie you are so not the guy
亲爱的 绝对不是你
If you're bored you can go
无聊的话 你可以先走
I understand
我完全理解
No I'm having a nice time
不 我看得很开心
Don't patronize me
别屈尊安慰我了
Excuse me Excuse me
抱歉 借过
Pardon me
不好意思
Pardon me Excuse me
不好意思 借过
Hi Stuart
嗨 斯图尔特
Hi Sheldon
嗨 谢尔顿
Pardon me Excuse me
借过一下 不好意思
Sheldon what are you doing here
谢尔顿 你来干嘛
The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater
我只要一想到你跟斯图尔特那厮
with a character like Stuart is repellent
坐在漆黑的影院中 一股厌恶之情就油然而生
No offense Stuart
无意冒犯 斯图尔特
None taken
我没在意
Although "repellent" is kind of a kind of a strong word
虽然"厌恶"这词儿...有点重了
I'm sorry this causes you discomfort
抱歉让你不快了
but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship
但基于我们关系目前的既定参数
I can put myself in any repellent situation I want
只要我乐意 我可以做任何让你厌恶的事情
Um again
我再说一遍...
Stuart please You're being rude
拜托 斯图尔特 你这样很无礼
Anything else
还有什么话要说吗
I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship
我想改变我俩的关系模式
I'm listening
我洗耳恭听
With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever
基于无论如何都维持原状的共识
physical or otherwise
包括身体或其他方面
I would not object to
我将不会不同意
us no longer characterizing you as "not my girlfriend "
也不再把你定位为"不是我女朋友"
Interesting
有意思
Now try it without the quadruple negative
现在把"不"字去掉再给我说一遍
You're being impossible
你别得寸进尺
Hi Stuart
嗨 斯图尔特
Fine
好吧
Amy
艾米
will you be my girlfriend
你愿意做我女朋友吗
Yes Well that's enough of that
-愿意 -好 这样就够了
Sorry to interrupt
抱歉打扰你们了
You two enjoy your date
祝两位约会愉快
Here's a dollar for your troubles
给你一块钱 就当我给你添麻烦了
Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids
自己去买点酸软糖吃吧
Excuse me Excuse me Pardon me
不好意思 借过一下 抱歉
So other than you taking your relationship
除了让你和另一个家伙的关系
to the next level with another guy this was nice
更近一步之外 今晚还是很美好的
Yes well thanks for seeing me to my door
是啊 谢谢送我到家门口
Oh you're welcome
不客气
Amy Amy Amy
艾米 艾米 艾米
Let's wrap things up out there
外面解决好再进门
Um good night Stuart
晚安 斯图尔特
Good night
晚安
Take the hint Stuart
别装傻了 斯图尔特
The lady said "Good night "
人家都说晚安了
How did you get into my apartment
你怎么进来我家的
Is that the kind of nagging I can expect
是不是你成了我女朋友
now that you're my girlfriend
从今往后我就要听这种唠叨呀
Good thing I drew this up
幸好我起草好合同了
What's that
那是什么
I present to you the relationship agreement
我给你拿来了《恋爱合同》
A binding covenant that in its 31 pages
这是份有约束力的契约书 在这31页里
enumerates iterates and codifies
列举 重申并整理出
the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper
谢尔顿·李·库珀的权利与义务
here and after known as "the boyfriend "
以下简称"男友"
and Amy Farrah Fowler
艾米·菲拉·福勒的权利义务
here and after known as "the girlfriend""
以下简称"女友"
It's so romantic
这真是太浪漫了
Mutual indemnification always is
你我一向都是相补的
Why don't you start perusing while I set up my notary stamp
在我准备公证人印章时 你可以开始阅读条款了
"Section 5 Hand holding
第五条 牵手
"Hand holding is only allowed
牵手仅允许在
under the following circumstances
以下情况中发生:
"A Either party is in danger of falling off a cliff
A 任何一方身处坠落悬崖
precipice or ledge
绝壁或暗礁的危险时
B Either party is deserving of a hearty handshake
B 在任何一方赢得诺贝尔奖时
after winning a Nobel Prize
必须衷心握手庆贺
C Moral support during flu shots"
C 感冒时给予精神支持时
Seems a bit restrictive
这条条框框也太多了吧
Feel free to retain a lawyer
尽管去找律师好了
Penny I said "right hand red "
佩妮 我说的是"右手红色"
Yeah I heard you
对 我听到了
I got red
我碰到红[酒]了
Bernadette left foot yellow
伯纳黛特 左脚黄色
《地狱边境》 2D水墨风格解迷游戏
We should play limbo next
接下来我们该玩《地狱边境》
No one beats me at limbo
没人玩得过我
Penny Amy Bernadette
佩妮 艾米 伯纳黛特
That's my boyfriend
是我男朋友
It's open
门没关
I got a splinter
我手指破了
What do you want me to do about it
你想让我做什么
Relationship agreement Section 4 Boo boos and Ouchies
《恋爱合同》第四条 小伤小痛
You have to take care of it
你得照顾它
I should've gotten a lawyer
我真该找个律师的
Looks like it's just us playing
看来就剩咱俩玩了
Penny
佩妮
Penny we're out of wine
佩妮 酒都喝光啦
You should probably drive
你赶紧开车去买吧