生活大爆炸-S08E11_生活大爆炸

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Hey how are things going with your parents

你父母的情况怎么样了

Not great They hired divorce attorneys

不太好他们请了离婚律师

You know speaking of attorneys

说到律师

if I ever needed a lawyer

如果哪天我需要请律师

I would not hire She Hulk

我绝对不会请女浩克

常为超级英雄们打官司

绿巨人浩克的表妹有弱化版的绿巨人变身能力

You know what That was almost on topic

其实呢你这次跟主题很接近了

I'm gonna say "Good job Sheldon "

所以我要说"点赞哦谢尔顿"

Wait She Hulk's a lawyer

等等女浩克是个律师吗

Yeah she works at a law firm in New York

是啊她在纽约一家律师事务所做事

Yes but she's the only monster at the firm

是的但是她是所里唯一的怪物

Between you me and the wall

我说了别传出去啊

I think she's an affirmative action hire

我觉得她是因为平权法案才被请的怪物

在就业教育等方面给予优待而达到平等的措施

为防止对肤色宗教性别民族出身有所歧视

Anyway Dad's gonna be here in town

总而言之我爸会来找我

so I won't be able to do Christmas dinner this year

所以我今年没办法替大家办圣诞晚宴了

If you're not up to hosting Christmas dinner

如果今年你没办法主办圣诞晚宴

I'm happy to do it

我很乐意来做啊

You can even bring your father

你还可以带你父亲一起来

That would be nice

那真是太好了

I've always wanted to do a traditional Victorian Christmas

我一直都想过一次传统维多利亚式圣诞

1848年开始的英式传统圣诞节

Parlor games goose and figgy pudding

玩会客厅游戏吃圣诞烤鹅与果干布丁

圣诞烤鹅与广式脆皮烧鹅类似

当年家里有"会客厅"的中上阶层家庭的娱乐活动

English pudding

英式布丁

而不是美式的偏果冻状布丁

英式布丁常是蛋糕状的甜点

Y You get yourself all excited for pudding

本来满心期待有"布丁"吃

and here comes a cake with raisins in it

结果是英式的破葡萄干蛋糕

I'm not going

我不去

You're going

你就得来

Why do you hate me

我跟你什么仇什么怨啊

I don't hate you

我跟你无冤无仇

I love you

我爱你

Well you call it love

你把它称之为爱也行

but it has a lot of raisins in it

但里面还是有一堆葡萄干

Amy good luck getting these guys excited

艾米让这几个家伙对主题晚餐有兴趣

about a dinner with a theme

简直比登天还难

I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks giving

我的汤姆·汉克斯感恩节就因为没人捧场而放弃

I think a Victorian Christmas sounds nice

我觉得维多利亚式圣诞很不错啊

I agree Me too

-同意 -我也觉得

You guys suck

你们这群混蛋

生

活

大

爆

炸

第八季第十一集

You know the best part of working in the clean room

你知道在无尘室里工作最棒的是什么吗

No allergies

不会过敏

Check it out

你看

Oh that that that's a lot of oxygen

鼻子太通一下吸进的氧气有点多

We should get going to Amy's

我们该去艾米家了

Can you believe there was a time

你能相信曾几何时

when we would have needed an array

人类得靠着

of giant Cherenkov telescopes to detect cosmic particles

巨大的切伦科夫望远镜阵列来探测宇宙射线粒子

And here we are building our own multi wire detector

而如今我们自己就可以构建多线探测器

like a couple of badasses

简直霸气到炸啊

I know If we were still single

是啊如果我们还单身

we'd be tripping over all that booty

都可以在女人堆里打滚了

Ladies do love a man dressed like a kitchen garbage bag

女人的确喜欢男人打扮得像个厨房垃圾袋

Oh no

惨了

How the hell did a pigeon get in here

这鸽子是怎么飞进来的

You shut the loading doors right I thought you did

-你关了外门对吧 -我以为你关了

Do you know what a disaster this is

你知道这有多严重吗

You mean 'cause this room isn't supposed to have dust in it

你是指因为这无尘室应该是要一尘不染

and we just let in a flying crap machine

而我们放了一只会飞的拉屎机进来吗

What do we do Should we call someone

我们该怎么办该打电话叫人来吗

And tell them that we compromised all the equipment

告诉人家我们把所有设备都污染了吗

Let's just get it out of here before anyone knows

赶紧趁没人发现前把它赶出去

Okay how do we catch it

好吧我们该怎么抓它呢

Well what if we turn off all the lights

要不我们把所有灯关掉

except for one and it'll come to it

只留下一盏灯它就会飞过来

It's not a moth

它又不是飞蛾

Don't yell at me

别吼我

You're not gonna get any good ideas out of me if you're yelling

你越吼我我越想不出什么好主意

Okay so if I remain calm

所以如果我保持平静

I'll get more gems like "Turn off the lights"

我就能听到更多像"关灯"这样的绝妙大计吗

Great we're turning on each other

这下好了我们反目成仇

That's just what the bird wants us to do

正中了这只鸟的下怀

So Dr Koothrappali long flight

库萨帕里医生飞了很久吧

20 hours Oh that's rough

-足足20小时 -很辛苦吧

Not at all

完全不会

Did you know that when you fly transcontinental without your wife

不用跟妻子一起飞这种跨大陆航班

you don't pray for the plane to crash

我也不用祈祷飞机赶紧坠机

Can you please talk about anything else

我们能聊点别的吗

Forgive me

抱歉原谅我

How are you and Leonard

你和莱纳德如何了

Oh great Everything's good

很好啊一切都很好

I see you got engaged Yes we did

-我发现你们好像订婚了 -是啊

Let me tell you a story

让我告诉你个故事

Dad

爸

Sorry

抱歉

I'm sure you won't grow to hate each other

我相信你们不会日渐憎恨彼此

Hey Leonard What's up

莱纳德怎么啦

What How did that happen

什么怎么会这样

Yeah okay I'll be there as soon as I can

好吧我尽快到

Sorry I have to run to the university

抱歉我得去一下大学

What's going on

怎么了

There's been a problem with our experiment

我们的实验出了点问题

A bird got into the clean room

有只鸟飞进了无尘室

You want me to come

需要我去帮忙吗

Uh no You had a long flight

不用你刚坐了这么长时间飞机

You stay here and relax

你就待着放松休息吧

"Relax " Easy for you to say

"放松" 你说得倒轻巧

Your mother isn't cleaning out your bank account

你妈"清"空的又不是你的银行账户

40 years the woman never cleaned a thing

40年来这女人从未"清"理过任何东西

You're just gonna leave him here

你要把他丢在这里吗

"Relax " He says Yup Bye

-他还好意思让我放松 -是的再见

Here comes Santa Claus here comes Santa Claus

圣诞老人来了圣诞老人来了

Right down Santa Claus Lane

正沿着圣诞老人道而来

Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer

凶婆娘和闪电与其它驯鹿们

跳舞欢腾凶婆娘雷闪电丘比特彗星

圣诞老人一共有九只驯鹿鲁道夫猛冲

Pulling on the reins

卖力拉着缰绳

Yeah I appreciate the ride

谢谢你能载我

Bells are ringing children singing

铃声叮当孩子欢唱

All is merry and bright

一切快乐又光明

So hang your stockings and say your prayers

挂上你的圣诞袜说出你的祷告词

'Cause Santa Claus is coming tonight

只因今晚圣诞老人要到来

Why'd you turn it off

你干嘛关掉它

Because in the last ten minutes Santa came to town

因为在过去的十分钟里《圣诞老人进城了》

kissed Mommy

《我看见妈妈亲吻圣诞老人》

皆为脍炙人口的圣诞歌曲

and ran Grandma over with a reindeer

然后《奶奶被驯鹿撞死了》

I had a drunk uncle who did all those things

我有个酒鬼叔叔也会做这三件事啊

Nobody sings songs about him

怎么没人唱歌歌颂他呢

Maybe you'd like it more if you thought of Santa as a superhero

如果你把圣诞老人看做是超级英雄

and his power is bringing joy to children

有给孩子们带来欢乐的超能力你会喜欢点

My uncle was accused of that too

我叔叔也这样啊结果被指控了

It turned out to be legal in Oklahoma

结果在俄州那是合法的

Okay new subject

好吧换个话题

Let's talk about presents

我们聊聊礼物吧

What did you get Amy

你要送艾米什么呀

Oh we're not exchanging gifts

我们不会互送礼物

Come on Sheldon you have to get her something

拜托谢尔顿送礼物给女朋友是一定要的啊

Why should I

凭什么

She knows that I don't like Christmas

她明知道我不喜欢圣诞节

and yet every year she forces me to celebrate it

可是每一年都强迫我一起庆祝

Not only am I going to this foolish dinner against my will

不光是这次逼我参加白痴的圣诞晚餐

At the Christmas tree lot there was mistletoe

之前在圣诞树卖场那有一个槲寄生

圣诞习俗两人站在榭寄生下得亲吻

and she kissed me under it in public

她居然当众亲了我

Like we were the stars of a Tijuana sex show

我们就像墨西哥性爱秀的表演者

She's just excited about the holidays

她只是对节日感到兴奋而已啦

Yes and she's not taking my feelings into account at all

是啊而她完全不顾及我的感受

Maybe it's time I teach her a lesson

或许是时候给她点教训了

How

怎么做

It'd have to be something heinous

一定要给她下点狠药

something that makes her as miserable as she's making me

让她生不如死就像她害我的那样

Oh I've got it

我想到了

This is good

这主意太好了

What

是什么

I'm going to buy her a present

我要送她一份礼物

Yeah you're gonna have to walk me through that

好吧你得好好给我讲解一下

With gift giving there's an implied social contract

礼品馈赠隐含了一种无形的社会契约

If I show up tonight with a present

如果我今晚带着礼物去她家

and she doesn't have one for me

而她却没有为我准备礼物

she'll feel terrible

那她就会内疚

Then you're both sad

然后你们俩都不开心

Yes

是的

Maybe she'll feel so guilty

或许她会内疚到

she'll never make me celebrate the holidays again

永远都不想跟我一起庆祝节日

So your evil plot here is to buy your girlfriend a present

所以你的邪恶阴谋是送你女朋友一份礼物吗

That's right

没错

So stay on my good side or I'll get you a little something too

所以别惹我否则小爷也会赐你点"礼物"

Okay here's the plan

好计划是这样

I'm gonna put the food in the bag

我把食物放进袋子里

and when he lands in the bag to eat it we close it up

一旦鸽子飞进去吃我们就赶紧把口封死

A Slim Jim

一根肉条吗

It's all I could find It'll work

只有这个了保证管用

Sure

屁咧

If the pigeon's stoned or a trucker

除非它嗑药了或者它是卡车司机

该牌肉条备受卡车司机喜爱食用很方便

Okay well what's your plan

好吧那你的计划是什么

I told you my plan

我之前不是说了吗

Let's call Building Services and get help

打给物业管理处找人帮忙啊

And admit that we contaminated the clean room

承认我们污染了无尘室吗

No admit that you contaminated the clean room

不是承认你污染了无尘室

Why do you keep assuming it was me

为什么你总认为责任在我

Because you do this kind of thing all the time

因为你总犯这样的错误

and then you try to cover it up

还会试图掩盖事实

Like when

比如说

What about when you flipped the Mars Rover

比如说你把火星漫游者玩坏

or lost Koothrappali's dog

弄丢了库萨帕里的狗

or almost drove off with that baby

差点开别人的车带着别人的娃走了

Again it looked like my car and the baby didn't even cry

重申一遍那车跟我的车很像而且那娃没哭

until his mother punched me with her keys

是后来他妈用钥匙打我才吓哭的

Fine put the Slim Jim in the garbage bag

行你想把肉条放垃圾袋里就放呗

Well what if you said it without sounding so condescending

你能不能讲话不这么秀优越感

I can try but your plan has the words

我尽量但你的计划里有

"Garbage bag" and "Slim Jim" in it

"垃圾袋"和"肉条"这两个词

Hey what's going on

什么情况

Genius here wants to catch a bird

有一个天才想用一个垃圾袋

with a garbage bag and a Slim Jim

和一根肉条抓住一只鸟

Should have put it in the bag first

真应该先放进袋子里

So if you don't mind me asking

希望你别介意我多嘴

do you think you might start dating again

你认为你会开始跟其他人约会吗

It's much too soon for that

现在说这个还太早吧

Why Do you know someone

怎么了要给我介绍对象吗

No but if things don't work out with me and Leonard

没有啦但如果我和莱纳德闹掰了

I'll give you a call

我会打给你的

Wait How much do you talk about Star Trek

等等你会经常大聊特聊《星际迷航》吗

Okay let's get this Victorian party started

好啦我们维多利亚式派对开始啦

I've done some research

我做了些研究

about some traditional parlor games we can play

找了几个我们可以玩的会客厅游戏

Like what

比如什么

Well there's a fun one called Ball of Wool

有一个有趣的游戏叫"羊毛球"

You take a ball of wool

你拿一个羊毛球

and you put it right in the center of the table

放在桌子的正中间

Then people sit on opposite sides of the table

然后让桌子两端的人

and try to blow the wool off

来回吹毛球

Sorry She's taken too

抱歉她也有男友了

You know what I think your problem is

你知道我觉得你问题在哪吗

You're jealous

你嫉妒

because you and I used to be best friends

因为你曾经是我最好的朋友

until Koothrappali came along

现在库萨帕里插进来了

And you found somebody you could push around

于是你终于找到可以任你摆布的人了

Stay out of this Okay

-你别掺合 -好的

You know maybe I'm best friends with Raj

也许拉杰之所以能成为我最好的朋友

because he doesn't think he's smarter than me

是因为他不会觉得自己比我聪明

Actually I said stay out of it

-其实... -我说你别掺合

N No No Raj go ahead say what you were gonna say

别别拉杰你说你刚刚想说什么

All I'm gonna say is

我只想说

you guys need to stop this right now

你们别再吵了

It It's bad enough that my parents are fighting

我父母闹矛盾已经够糟了

now I have to hear the two of you

现在还要听你俩吵架

And who cares who's smarter

谁在乎谁更聪明啊

If it's Leonard or me or

谁管是莱纳德还是我还是...

you know it's Christmas let's say it's Howard

算了大过节的霍华德最聪明吧

Well if you're so smart you get the bird out

既然你那么聪明你把鸟赶出去啊

No you're the one who let him in

不是你放进来的

How do you know it wasn't Leonard

你怎么知道不是莱纳德

Come on

得了吧

What about that sweater

那件毛衣怎么样

No it's not good enough

不行不够好

It has to be perfect

必须要完美

I think the nicest gifts I've got from Howie

我觉得华仔送我最棒的礼物是一份

show how well he knows me

体现了他有多了解我的礼物

Let's see what do I know about Amy

我想想我了解艾米什么

She loves medieval literature Chaucer's her favorite

她热爱中世纪文学最欣赏乔叟

被公认为中世纪最伟大的英国诗人

杰弗雷·乔叟英国文学之父

And her eyes sparkle when she watches old French movies

在看法国老电影时她的眼睛会变星星眼

I enjoy how harp music causes her fingers to dance

我爱看她会随着听到的竖琴声舞动手指

as if she's playing along

仿佛一同弹奏

Wow you really do love her

你真的很爱她

I do

是呀

Now let's find the kind of gift

我们赶紧来找

that makes her feel small and worthless

让她无地自容又自惭形秽的礼物吧

You won

你赢啦

Certainly doesn't feel like it does it

一点胜利的喜悦都没有对吧

You know my wife used to throw theme parties like this all the time

我老婆以前总喜欢办这种主题派对

Oh I guess that's where Raj gets it from

拉杰大概就是从那学的吧

Well he and his mother

他小时候

spent a lot of time together when he was young

总是和他妈妈待在一起

I was always working

我一直在忙工作

Hey you know Raj is dating a doctor who works a lot

拉杰现在交往的医生也是经常忙工作

Him and his mom have a type

他和他妈都喜欢这型的

You g Y You got to laugh at that right

你...不觉得好笑吗

No All right

不好笑好吧

All right let me see if I've got this straight

好吧你听我理解得对不对

A picture of you on my lap

用一张你坐在我腿上的照片

is a way to punish your girlfriend

来惩罚你女友

for making you celebrate Christmas

逼你过圣诞节

Correct

正确

Santa thinks dating you may be punishment enough

圣诞老人觉得有你这种男友已经够受罪了

There's an argument for that

这话不无道理

But I want to make sure

但我得确保她一定受到惩罚

Smile

微笑

Ho ho ho

呵呵呵

Okay On the count of three

好的数到三

I'll shoot the fire extinguisher and get him airborne

我会用灭火器把它喷下来

Howard you wave the blanket and guide him towards the exit

霍华德你挥毯子把它逼向出口

Raj you hold open the curtain so he can fly out

拉杰你把门帘掀开让它可以飞出去

Are you sure a dummy like me can handle something

你确定我这样的傻蛋可以应付

as complicated as a blanket

毯子这么复杂的东西吗

Do you want the fire extinguisher

你想负责灭火器吗

Yeah I do Great

-想我想 -好

Here you go

给你

Okay

好

One two three

一二三

Uh you have to take the pin out

你得先把安全针拔出来

You miss the blanket now don't you

现在怀念毯子了吧

On three

数到三

One two three

一二三

What did you do

你干了什么

It was an accident

这是意外

Oh my God Oh my God

天啊我的天啊

Relax it wasn't your fault

别紧张不是你的错

Uh maybe it's just stunned

它可能只是吓呆了

Dude I it's not breathing

兄弟呼吸都没了

Oh no I killed it

不是吧我杀了它

Oh not again

别又来啊

What do you mean not again

你说"又"是什么意思

When I was ten

在我十岁那年

I was playing in my backyard and

我在后院玩然后...

sat on a blue jay

坐到了一只冠蓝鸦上

I mean I tried to bring it back to life with electricity

我想用电击把它救活

but it just

但它...

caught on fire

着火了

The worst part was it smelled delicious

最糟糕的是闻起来非常美味

Uh guys I found an article here

两位我找到一篇文章

that says you can do CPR on birds

上面说心肺复苏可适用于鸟类

Great Do it

太好了你做啊

I'm not doing it You killed him you do it

我才不去你杀的你负责

I'll do it No

-我来 -不行

I need to do it

得让我来

This is on me

这是我的责任

Okay

好

"Mouth over beak and light chest compressions "

"以嘴覆盖于喙轻轻胸部挤压"

Don't blow too hard

别吹得太狠了

If you pop him I will vomit

你把它吹炸了我会吐的

Anything

有发现吗

I am tasting a lot of Slim Jim

我尝到好浓的肉条味

Wait wait his wing moved

等等它的翅膀动了

Oh he blinked his eyes He's alive

它眨眼睛了它活过来了

It's a Christmas miracle

这真是圣诞节奇迹啊

I might argue a Hanukkah miracle but I'll take it

对我来说是光明节奇迹不过圣诞节也不错

犹太人过的是光明节

Come on little guy let's get you outside Get the curtain

来吧小家伙我们放你出去把帘子拉开

Someone should really close that loading door

有人真应该去关上外门

Well that's that

事情只能这样了

The room's compromised

这个房间已经被污染了

They'll have to change all the filters

所有的滤网都得换掉

probably shut it down for weeks

可能得关闭好几周呢

You were right Go ahead call Building Services

你说得对打电话给管理处吧

Tell them it was my fault No we're both to blame

-就说是我的错 -不我俩都有错

You know let me take the heat on this one

这次就让我承担吧

Yeah just leave me out of it

好吧别扯到我头上就行

You know if they come here and see crap everywhere

如果他们进来看到满地便便

they're just gonna blame the Indian guy

肯定马上怪在印度人头上

Hey I'm sorry we're still here

抱歉我们还在实验室

Is everything okay

你那里还好吧

It's kind of boring

有点无聊

Although it did get exciting for a minute

虽然艾米误吸进一个羊毛球时

when Amy inhaled a wool ball

我稍微开心了一分钟

How much longer do you think you'll be

你们还要多久才能来啊

I don't know

我不知道

There's still a bird in here

又进来了一只鸟

We are gonna get in a ton of trouble

我们这下麻烦大了

Honey it's Christmas Eve

亲爱的今天是圣诞节前夜

Who even knows you're in there

谁会知道你们在那里

No our names are on the sign in sheet

我们在签到表上签名

So erase them and walk out

那就把名字擦掉走人呗

I can't do that

我可不能这么做

Can't do what

不能做什么

She says take our names off the sign in sheet and leave

她叫我们把名字擦掉直接走人

We can't do that Yeah

-我们可不能这么做 -对啊

Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

叮叮当叮叮当铃儿响叮当

Oh what fun it is to ride

我们滑雪多快乐

in a one horse open sleigh hey

我们坐在雪橇上

Amy that pudding was delicious

艾米这果干布丁真好吃

If you like raisins

如果你喜欢葡萄干的话

Thank you And it's figs

多谢我放的是无花果干

Oh in that case it was pretty good

如果是这样那就变得"超美味"呢

You feeling okay You hardly touched your goose

你还好吧你都没怎么吃鹅肉

It smelled too much like blue jay

闻起来太像冠蓝鸦了

Can I help you clean up

我帮你收拾吧

Oh you Heimliched a ball of wool out of me

你用海姆力克法帮我咳出了羊毛球

you're good

就不麻烦你了

Uh what do you say we exchange gifts

我们开始交换礼物吧

Oh Sheldon we didn't bring any

谢尔顿我们没带礼物啊

I thought you hate giving gifts

我以为你讨厌交换礼物呢

Yeah I do

我是讨厌

Which is why I got Amy this

所以我才给艾米带了这个

You got me something

你给我带了礼物吗

Oh not just something no

不不止是礼物

It's from the heart it's holiday themed

我这是用心挑选的节日主题的

and I swallowed the gift receipt so you cannot return it

收据被我吃了所以你也没法退了

Look at you on Santa's lap

看看你坐在圣诞老人腿上的样子

That's so sweet

真是太可爱了

Of course it is It's the perfect gift

那当然这礼物可完美呢

H How are you feeling right now

你现在有什么感想

Guilty Sad

是否有罪恶感悲哀感

Wishing you were Jewish

宁愿自己是不过圣诞的犹太人吗

No I love it

不我非常喜欢

Oh really

真的吗

Well how about now

那这个怎么样呢

Happy holidays to my dear Amy

我亲爱的艾米节日快乐

I hope you treasure this

我希望你能珍惜这份礼物

as much as I treasure you

像我珍惜你那样

And you got me nothing

但是你都没为我准备礼物

Christmas is ruined

圣诞节被你毁了

Let's never speak of it again

我们再也不要提这件事了

Well this was fun

哇这还真好玩

Actually

其实呢

I did get you something

我为你准备了一份礼物

But what about our agreement

我们不是有协议吗

Well you got me something Here

可你也送了我礼物啊给你

饼干吗

They're your Meemaw's Christmas cookies

是你外婆的圣诞饼干哦

I called and got the recipe

我给她打电话要了配方

They're perfect

这些饼干太好吃了

It tastes like her hugs

和她的拥抱一样美好

Merry Christmas Sheldon

圣诞快乐谢尔顿

I can't believe this

我真不敢相信

You're happy I'm happy

你开心我也开心

Well maybe a holiday that's all about giving isn't so

也许一个强调馈赠的节日并不是那么...

Get your hand out of that box

拿开你的脏爪

Okay

好了

The next game is called Hot Boiled Beans

下一个游戏叫做寻找热豆豆

Of course it is

我猜也是

One person is sent out of the room

选一个人离开房间

while the others hide a small item

其他人留在里面藏起一个小玩意

Then they invite the first person back by saying

然后对外面的人说

"Hot boiled beans and bacon for supper

"晚餐已煮好热豆加培根

hurry up before it gets cold "

快快进屋里趁热找到它"

If you people think this is better than Tom Hanks giving

如果你们觉得这比汤姆·汉克斯感恩节好玩

you're all crazy

我也是醉了