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Leonard what time does your mom's plane get in
莱纳德 你妈妈的飞机什么时候到
I don't know some time tomorrow morning
不知道 明天早上的某个时候吧
Don't you want to know for sure
你不去确定下确切时间吗
No need to
不必
As soon as she flies into California airspace
只要她的飞机一进入加州领空
I'll feel a disturbance in the Force
我就能感觉到原力一阵扰动
It's so nice both of your moms are coming in
真好 你们两个人的母亲
to see you guys get an award
都专程飞过来看你们领奖
Well my mother's been there for every honor I've won
每次得奖我妈妈都会陪在我身边
since I beat out my twin sister
这个传统从我打败双胞胎姐姐
for the "Did it on the potty" trophy
赢得"学会用便盆"就开始了
How does this look
这看起来怎么样
Aw it's so nice She's gonna love it
很好看 她一定会喜欢
Sure his mom gets roses
是啊 他妈妈就能有玫瑰
When I want them
我说我想要玫瑰
they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals "
他说玫瑰是"一束被砍下来的植物性器官"
You act like I didn't get you
你说得好像情人节
that mushroom log on Valentine's Day
我没送过你蘑菇养殖木一样
He's right
他说得对
Roses die but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms
玫瑰会枯萎 但一段潮湿腐烂的木头能让
for two or three magical years
蘑菇长个美好的两三年呢
You know your mom's never been too thrilled with our relationship
你妈妈一直对我们的感情不太感冒
Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me
或许我该给她点什么 让她能慢慢接受我
If you could run out and get a PhD
如果你能出去弄个博士学位
that might make her like you
她说不定就会喜欢你啦
Really It didn't work for you
是吗 你这个博士也没赢得她的欢心啊
Do you think the moms will get along
你们觉得两位妈妈处得来吗
Uh I don't know They're pretty different
不知道 她们两人差别挺大
Maybe they'll be best friends
说不定能成为挚友啊
One of them is brilliant one is sweet and simple
她们一人聪明绝顶 一人善良单纯
Sound familiar
有没有种熟悉的感觉
第八季 第二十三集
Shelly I'm so proud of you and Leonard for getting this award
谢利 你跟莱纳德得到这个奖让我十分骄傲
Oh thank you Mother
谢谢你 母亲
I tried to read your paper but it was very hard
我有试着读你的论文 但是太深了
for me to understand
我读不懂
Oh it's quite straightforward actually
其实还挺好理解的啦
It describes a new model of the universe
它描述了一种新的宇宙模型
that conceptualizes it as the surface
将宇宙构想成
of an n dimensional superfluid
n维超流体的表面
Interesting
有意思
You can believe that
你相信这个
but God filling an ark with animals two by two is nonsense
却不信上帝在方舟上雌雄各一地装了各种动物
What did they feed the lions Mother
母亲 那他们用什么喂狮子呢
The floating bodies of drowned sinners of course
被大洪水淹死 漂来漂去的罪人尸体啊
Listen Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist
听我说 莱纳德的母亲是一位知名心理学家
and woman of science
与一名女科学家
Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself
能不能请你把你那些圣经碎话收着
while she's here
别在她面前说
Are you ashamed of me
你觉得我让你丢人了吗
Of course not I love you
当然不是啦 我最爱你了
I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe do and say
我只对你的信仰 行为和话语感到丢人
Well I love you too
好吧 我也爱你
My little bowl of lion chow
我那喂狮子的小宝贝
So have you and Penny set a wedding date
你跟佩妮定下婚礼的日子了吗
No we're kind of taking it slow
没呢 我们打算慢慢来
I see
呵呵
What does that mean
你这是什么意思
You've been on and off with this woman for seven years
你跟这个女人分分合合七年了
and engaged for one year
然后也订婚一年了
One has to wonder if there's a problem
让人不禁疑惑
Are you having satisfactory intercourse
你们俩性生活还行吗
Yes Mother
是的 母亲
Only satisfactory I see
所以只是还行 呵呵
I change my answer
我换下答案
It it's amazing It's hot
是很棒 超热辣
We can barely keep our hands off each other
一看到对方就天雷勾动地火
Seems odd to try and impress your mother
试图靠炫耀床上功夫
with your sexual prowess
来取悦你的母亲有些怪吧
But then you always did have that unresolved Oedipal complex
不过你也的确一直有恋母情结
See this right here what you're doing
你看 就是你现在这样
can you please not do that around Sheldon's mom
能不能求你别在谢尔顿他妈妈面前这样
Why Are you attracted to her too
为什么 你也恋上她了吗
Of course not
当然没有啦
She's she's just a very sweet and God fearing lady
她就只是个很善良很虔诚的女士
and you have to be respectful of her beliefs
所以请你对她的信仰表达尊重
Leonard I'm an adult
莱纳德 我是个成人
I know how to conduct myself around people
我知道如何在各式各样的人面前
from different walks of life
保持风度
Thank you
谢谢
Where is she from again
她是哪里人来着
East Texas
德州东部
Hey look who's here
看看谁来啦
Oh Dr Hofstadter it's so good to see you again
霍夫斯塔德博士 真高兴再见到你
Likewise
我也是
I read your paper it was very impressive
我读了你的论文 非常棒
Oh thank you
谢谢
We just spent two hours in traffic
我们刚开了两小时的车回来
Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper
在路上你怎么没想过要说你喜欢我们的论文呢
Of course I did but it's a mother's job
我当然想过 但一位母亲的职责
to make sure her child's self esteem
就是得确保自己孩子的自尊
is not dependent on anyone's approval
不是建立靠得到他人肯定上
That's so sweet you think I have self esteem
真好 你觉得我还有自尊心
Dr Hofstadter I want you to meet my mother Mary
霍夫斯塔德博士 这位是我的母亲玛丽
So nice to meet you
很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you too How was your flight
幸会幸会 飞得还顺利吗
Very pleasant And yours
很好 你的呢
Lovely Almost as if someone
非常好 仿佛某位...
not saying who was watching over the plane
不说是谁了 从飞机上方庇佑着我们
You're kidding right
你是在开玩笑的吧
Subtle Mom real subtle
妈 你真是一点都不明显啊
Stuart
斯图尔特
Morning
早安
We talked about this
我们谈过这事了
I don't mind you still living here
我不介意你继续住在这里
but we got to have some rules
但我们必须要有些规矩
And rule number one is pants
而第一条规矩就是 穿裤子
You must be very proud of your son
你一定很引你儿子为豪吧
Oh yes
是啊
He recently argued a case before the Supreme Court
他最近在最高法院为一件案子辩护
He did
他去了吗
Oh you mean this son
你是说这个儿子啊
Uh sure he's terrific
是啦 他很不错
Uh Beverly would you like to see the math I worked out
贝弗莉 你想不想看下我为验证我们的假设
to support our hypothesis
所做的计算
Uh you mean my hypothesis
你是说我的假设吗
I hypothesized it all by myself
这全部假设都是我做出来的
Calm down dear
冷静 亲爱的
Mary I'm curious
玛丽 我很好奇
When did you first realize
你第一次发现
that your son had such a remarkable mind
你儿子有着如此非凡的脑子是什么时候呢
Ooh good question
好问题
Everyone loves stories about Sheldon Cooper boy genius
大家都喜欢天才小子谢尔顿·库珀的故事
Well I would have to say when he was 13
大概是他十三岁的时候吧
and tried to build a nuclear reactor in the tool shed
他试着在工具房里造一个核反应堆
Ooh this is a good one
这是个好故事
Now the first thing you have to know about Shelly is
首先 你需要知道的是
ever since he was a little boy
谢利从小开始
he was always concerned with the well being of others
就打从心底为别人着想
And he didn't think that it was fair
而他觉得要人们付电费
for people to pay for electricity
这事情太不公平了
so he was gonna power the entire town for free
所以他想要为全镇提供免费电力
Tell her about the uranium
告诉她铀的事
Tell her about the uranium
快告诉她铀的事
Oh well
Oh this is adorable
这事还挺好玩的
When he arranged to get some yellowcake from Chad
当他说要从乍得那里弄来黄饼[核反应燃料]时
I thought he was talking about Twinkies
我还以为他是要从朋友那里
from one of his friends
弄个夹馅面包之类的
But I wasn't
但其实不是
'Cause I didn't have any friends
因为那时我没有任何朋友
No
没有
It turns out that this little scallywag was trying
后来才发现这个小混蛋
to use my Visa card to buy uranium
是要用我的信用卡
from an African warlord in the country of Chad
去跟非洲国家"乍得"的军阀买铀
Sounds like Sheldon was a handful
听起来谢尔顿小时候是麻烦精啊
Oh he was a handful
是啊 他小时候可麻烦了
I was a handful
我小时候是麻烦精
You still are
现在还是
Uh Mom hey tell Mary the story
妈 告诉玛丽那个
about how I made a Van de Graaff generator
我用家里的吸尘器来做出
out of our vacuum cleaner
范德格拉夫起电机的事
All right
好啊
He broke the vacuum cleaner
他把吸尘器弄坏了
I mean for a while everything was vampires
曾有一阵子 全都是吸血鬼
Now it's all zombies
现在全换成了僵尸了
I wonder what the next monster fad will be
真不知道下一个潮流怪物会是什么
We haven't had a good invisible man in a while
貌似有段时间没看过隐形人了
Clearly you've never seen me try to talk to a woman
显然你是从未看过我跟女人说话
Guys
先生们
In the time you've been sitting here playing video games
在你们坐在这里打电动的时间里
I got the car washed picked up cleaning supplies
我把车开去洗了 买了清洁用品
and went to the bank
还去了趟银行
I put on pants
我把裤子穿上啦
Kiss ass
马屁精
Okay I don't know when I became
我不知道我从什么时候开始
the mother to three lazy teenagers
变成了三个懒鬼少年的妈妈
but it stops today
但一切到此为止
You guys are cleaning the kitchen top to bottom
你们去把厨房打扫了 从上到下里里外外
Hey I don't even live here
人家根本不住这里啊
Yes or no do you have clothes in my laundry right now
那你回答我 我家洗衣房里有没有你的衣服
I do
And some of it's wool
其中有些是羊毛的
so dry flat if possible
尽量平摊晾干
Oh and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree
这张是我拿到学士学位时拍的照片
You don't look very happy
你看起来不是很开心啊
Well I had just begun puberty
当时才刚开始进入青春期
It was figuratively and literally
所以无论从实际或比喻上来说
one of the hairiest moments of my life
那都是我最"毛"孩子的一段日子
Shelly does not like change
谢利不喜欢改变
Oh true
是的
But all the clenching in the world will not keep
无论你再怎么缩腹
testicles in your abdomen
蛋蛋还是会垂下去[长大]
Hey sorry got caught up at work
抱歉 工作有点耽搁了
Hi Beverly Hello
-贝弗利你来啦 -你好啊
Oh okay
好吧
Sorry I forgot
抱歉 我忘了
You remember my mother
还记得我母亲吗
Oh yes Hi Mary
记得 你好吗 玛丽
Good to see you again dear
亲爱的 很高兴又见到你
Ah yeah now that's what I'm talking about
这才是我想要的
So Mom you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged
妈 我跟佩妮订婚后你还没见过她呢
Oh yeah let me show you the ring
对了 给你看看我的戒指
Oh lovely
很漂亮
Must have been very expensive
肯定很贵吧
Oh no not at all
不 一点都不贵
No we uh found a place online
我们在网上找到一家店
that uh repurposes diamond drill bits
能将金刚石钻头改成钻石
We did not That's not true
才不是呢 他乱说
Can I speak to you alone for a second
我能跟你单独谈一下吗
Oh sure
当然
It came from Tiffany's
这是从蒂芬妮买的
You mean the box right
你说的是盒子对吧
Keep walking
继续走你的
Really doesn't matter to me how much he spent on the ring
我一点都不在乎他在戒指上花了多少钱
I think
大概吧
Did I misspeak about the ring
关于戒指的事我说错话了吗
Yes and we'll get back to that
是的 那个我们等会再说
But uh even with your mother here
你自己的妈妈就在这儿
you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom
你却在故意霸占我妈全部的注意力
You're like one of those elephant seal pups
你就像象海豹的幼崽
that steals the milk from two mothers
从两个妈妈那里抢奶喝
Do you mean what marine biologists
你指的是海洋生物学家
refer to as "super weaning"
所说的"超断人奶机"吧
Yes you are a super weaner
对 你就是超"机吧"
Well now I have to correct you
这我就要纠正你了
A As a bit of an elephant seal buff
作为象海豹的小小爱好者
the more accurate comparison
更准确的比喻
would be when two mother seals
应该是当两只海豹妈妈
actively seek to nourish the same pup
都抢着给一只海豹幼崽喂奶
So I believe the term you're looking for
所以我觉得你想说的是
is a double mother suckler
双吸母奶婴
Yeah you're right
你说得没错
That is the term I'm looking for
我想说的就是这个词
You are a dirty double mother suckler
你这个肮脏的双吸母奶婴
Okay well now that we have the terminology straightened out
好吧 现在我们找到正确的名词了
How dare you
你好大的胆子
We're not in a rush
我们不着急
We'll set a date when the time is right
等时机到了再定日子吧
It doesn't matter sweetie
没关系 亲爱的
The moment a man lays with a woman
只要一个男人跟女人上床
they are married in the eyes of the Lord
在上帝眼里他们就已经结婚了
The bible is "uch" to you
你对圣经就是这个态度吗
No I'm sorry That was inappropriate
不 抱歉 我态度不对
As a psychiatrist
作为一名精神病学家
I know how important people's superstitions can be to them
我明白迷信对人们的重要性
You want to talk about superstitions
你想聊迷信吗
Sheldon sent me the books you wrote
谢尔顿给我看了你写的书
all that nonsense about superegos and ids
全都是关于超我和本我的鬼话
What bull dropped that on the barn floor
这都是谁提出的歪理邪说
His name is Sigmund Freud
他叫西格蒙德·弗洛伊德
Hey look at that
你们看
You both believe in Jewish bearded guys
你们都相信有胡子的犹太人
Stay out of this
别瞎掺和
At least the bearded man that I believe in
至少我相信的胡子男
preaches love and compassion
传播爱与怜悯
All yours talks about is
而你相信的那个说的都是
why you hold in your poop
为何人们憋着心里的便便
and want to crawl back inside your mama
以及想爬回自己妈妈的肚子里
It's fascinating
真是太精彩了
How can someone as enlightened as Sheldon
像谢尔顿这么开明的孩子
come from someone like you
怎么会有你这样的母亲
I know the answer
我知道答案
You're not gonna like it
你不会喜欢的
Try me
你说啊
When I was pregnant with Shelly I was driving to church
我怀着谢利的时候开车去教堂
and I was praying to the Lord
向上帝祈祷
to give me a son smarter than his dumb ass daddy
给我一个比他那个傻逼老爸聪明的儿子
And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead
然后我看到旁边那辆斯巴鲁里的耶稣娃娃
in the Subaru next to me nodding yes
冲我点头说好
What is that supposed to mean
那是什么意思
It means
意思是
I can't believe we're having this conversation
不敢相信我们居然在聊这个
Well do it some more
多拍几遍吧
Maybe you can knock some sense into yourself
说不定能把你自己拍灵光点
I hope we all stops hitting ourselves
我们还是不要伤害自己了
and talk about something safe you know
聊点安全的话题吧
like shoes or how cute little Chinese babies are
比如鞋子啊 中国婴儿有多萌之类的
Maybe it is not my fault that your mother likes me
或许你妈妈喜欢我比喜欢你多
better than she likes you
不是我的错
Oh don't flatter yourself
少往自己脸上贴金了
She likes everybody better than she likes me
她喜欢任何人都比喜欢我多
How old is this Jell O
这团果冻放了多久了
Well it's carrots so gonna say very
那是胡萝卜 所以应该很久了
Sorry we have to do this
抱歉我们得清理厨房
Bernadette's not wrong
伯纳黛特没有错
She does work hard around here
她一直都很辛苦
Yeah maybe it's a good thing
她不再把你当娃娃一样照顾
if she stops babying you so much
也许是一件好事
She doesn't baby me
她没有把我当娃娃
I saw her pull you home in a wagon
我看见她用小推车拉你回家
For your information
解释一下
I twisted my ankle chasing the ice cream truck
我去追冰淇淋车的时候把脚扭了
Face it dude
面对现实吧
Bernadette treats you the same way your mother used to
伯纳黛特对你就跟你妈对你一样
and that was not a healthy relationship
这种关系很不健康
You're right
你说得对
It's time for me
我是时候
to act like an adult in this marriage
在婚姻里表现得成熟点了
Starting with my husbandly duty of taking out the trash
履行我做丈夫的职责 从倒垃圾开始
Bernie I made a mess
妮妮 我闯祸了
I'm terribly sorry that I upset your mother
非常抱歉惹你母亲不高兴了
Oh it's all right She'll forgive you
没事 她会原谅你的
She has to or she goes to hell
她必须原谅 否则就得下地狱了
I can't help but notice
我注意到
how her unconditional love for you
她对你无条件的爱
is diametrically opposed to my own parenting strategies
与我为人母的教子之方恰恰相反
Well you doled out affection
你将少量关爱
as a reward for achievement
作为奖励发放在他们取得成就时
a proven way to raise a child
这种教子之方已被证实有效
Or train a rat
训练老鼠也有效
But look how well you turned out
看你出落得多么优秀
I'd feign modesty at this point but who would believe me
此刻我本应表现出谦逊 可谁信啊
Still you need to consider
可你也要考虑到
how successful Leonard's brother and sister are
莱纳德的兄弟姐妹多成功啊
I suppose
也是
While my brother and sister are mouth breathing idiots
而我的兄弟姐妹都是只会用嘴呼吸的笨蛋
Do you suppose you would've flourished more
你认为如果你成长在一个
in a reward based environment
奖励机制的环境下 会更成功吗
Perhaps
大概吧
But my mom made me spaghetti
可只要我想吃
with chopped up hot dogs whenever I wanted
我妈随时都会给我做热狗肠碎意面
so who cares
所以随便啦
Not once did my mother ever give me any love
我妈从来没有在我做自己的情况下
or affection for just being myself
给我爱或者关怀
I always had to earn it
我总是得赢得她的爱
Oh Leonard I'm sure she loves you very much
莱纳德 我肯定她非常爱你
In her own cold godless way
用她冷酷又无神论的方式
Yeah and you certainly don't have to earn my love
我对你的爱你是不用赢得的[挣得]
Thank you
谢谢
Of course you already knew that
当然了 这点早在你给我买
when you bought me this princess cut drill bit
这枚公主型钻头戒时 就悟透了
That's not what it is
不是那样的
I know I know
我懂 我懂
When your mom gets back I'm gonna need
等你母亲回来
to apologize for the way I spoke to her
我得为我说话的方式跟她道歉
Well come on now she did kind of start it
不用啊 反正也是她先挑的事
Doesn't matter a good Christian would've turned the other cheek
不重要 好信徒被打脸会把另一边脸送上
On the other hand
另一方面
a good Texan would've shot her so
好德州人会开枪打死她
I just kind of split the difference
我选了个折衷的方式
Hey who's in the mood for spaghetti and hot dogs
有人想吃热狗肠碎意面吗
Oh me
我想
Yeah me too
我也想吃
Coming up
马上开饭
I don't really feel I deserve it
我感觉自己不配吃
That was a big sticky mess
看来这坨黏糊糊的垃圾
but I think I got it
已经被我搞定了
Looks good
看着挺干净
Look at that
瞧瞧
You cleaned it up all by yourself
你自己把垃圾打扫干净了
Yes I cleaned it up all by myself
是的 你自己把垃圾打扫干净了
Honestly I don't know why you complain so
真是 不懂你没事抱怨个什么...
Okay maybe I missed one spot
可能就那地方没擦干净
Just leave
退下吧
I'm so glad that you and I were able to bury the hatchet
很高兴我俩能冰释前嫌
Me too
我也是
And I respect your right to your beliefs
我也尊重你信仰的权利
And I will pray for you
我会为你祈祷的
Okay Mom let's get you back to your hotel
妈 趁着大家都还没再说错话时
before anyone says anything else
我赶紧送你回酒店吧
One moment
等一下
There's something I need to say to you
有些话我得跟你说
Oh really That's too bad
真的吗 这样不好吧
Leonard I always made you earn my affection
莱纳德 我总是逼你去争取我的关爱
but today I realize that
但今天我意识到
there's more than one way to raise a child
教育孩子不只有一种方法
I taught her that
这可是我教她的呢
Therefore I would like
于是我
to initiate a new protocol wherein I
要实施新方案 就是...
shower you with unconditional love
要让你沐浴在 我无条件的爱中
When does that start
什么时候开始啊
So needy
真缺爱
Come to Mommy
妈咪抱抱
It's okay go ahead
没事 去吧
Oh my son
我的儿啊
Oh my mother
我的娘啊
Oh my God
我的天啊
It's a hard knock life
这艰难的生活
讲述一名孤儿故事的音乐剧《安妮》中的歌曲
It's the hard knock life for us
这是我们艰难的生活
It's the hard knock life for us
这是我们艰难的生活
'Stead of treated we get tricked
善待不见 只剩哄骗
'Stead of kisses we get kicked
亲吻不得 屁股挨踹
It's the hard knock life
这艰难的生活
Got no folks to speak of so
无人可诉
It's the hard knock row we hoe
我们在这艰难的生活中煎熬
Cotton blankets 'stead of wool
毛毯没有 棉毯凑
Empty bellies 'stead of full
没饭可吃 肚子空
It's a hard knock life
这艰难的生活