生活大爆炸-S05E13_生活大爆炸

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You feel like trying something new for dinner

晚饭想不想换个花样

美国的德克萨斯州和墨西哥接壤

德墨菜德州式墨西哥菜

Maybe Indian Tex Mex

要不试试印度菜或者德墨菜

You ever wonder how humans would be different

你有没有好奇过如果人类是从蜥蜴

if they evolved from lizards instead of mammals

而不是哺乳动物进化而来会有啥区别

Okay let's talk about that

好吧你说吧

As you know lizards cold blooded animals

你也知道蜥蜴这种冷血动物

lack the ability to sense temperature

缺乏感知温度的能力

But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold

但它们确实在低温环境下行动更迟缓

So lizard weathermen would say things like

所以呢蜥蜴天气预报员会这么说话

"Bring a sweater it's slow outside "

"带上件毛衣外面好慢[冷]"

I love my mind

我爱死自己的犀利头脑了

We all do

我们也是

Now how about dinner

快说晚饭吃啥

体型较大的蜥蜴会以其他蜥蜴为食物

大多数蜥蜴吃动物性食物主要是各种昆虫

Oh I would assume we'd enjoy insects or smaller lizards

我猜我们会享受吃昆虫和小蜥蜴的盛宴

We could also pull each other's tails off and grill them

我们也可以扯掉对方的尾巴然后烤着吃

they'll just grow back

反正还能再长回来

史波克先生《星际迷航》中的大副先生

My life size cardboard Mr Spock is here

我的真人大小的卡纸板史波克先生到了

I know he wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion

我知道他不喜欢常人情感的瞬间流露

but oh goodie oh goodie oh goodie

可是好棒哦好棒哦好棒哦

Commander Spock requesting permission to be unfolded

史波克中校请求拆封

Excuse me

失陪一下

Permission granted Commander

允许拆封中校

Which is why the more intelligent the monkey

这就是为什么越聪明的猴子

the more feces they fling

就越喜欢扔大便

Excuse me Amy

打断一下艾米

Penny do you have plans for dinner tonight

佩妮你今天的晚饭有安排吗

Why you guys going somewhere

怎么了你们要去什么好地方吗

No I mean just you and me

不是就咱俩单独吃

You mean like a date

像约会那样吗

Not like a date a date

不是约会的那种约会

Um o okay

呃好吧

Sure

行啊

Oh no

天啊

They sent the wrong Spock

这不是我要的史波克

电视剧版《星际迷航》史波克的扮演者

Live long and suck it Zachary Quinto

生生不息早日去死扎克瑞·昆图

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第十三集

This is so exciting

太好了

If Leonard and Penny get back together

要是莱纳德和佩妮复合了

Howard and I can go on double dates with them

我和霍华德就可以跟他们一起四人约会了

How come you never invite Sheldon and me on a double date

你怎么从来不邀请谢尔顿和我参加四人约会呢

How's it going in there Penny

你衣服试得怎么样了佩妮

Just a sec

稍等片刻

Too much

是不是太隆重了

Yes No

-确实 -才没有

Okay just hang on

好吧再等一下

You just can't handle her raw sexuality can you

你受不了她那股天生的骚劲对吧

When did you and Leonard break up

你和莱纳德是什么时候分手的

Uh about two years ago

差不多两年前吧

Why do you think he asked you out again

你觉得他约你吃饭的原因是什么

I don't know

不知道

Maybe he's dying

也许是他命不久矣

That would be so romantic

那该有多浪漫啊

He's not dying

他命长着呢

Too bad

真可惜

If he were she could just throw him in bed

如果是的话她就可以把莱纳德推到在床

and ride him right up until he flatlines

骑在他身上尽性直到他心跳停止

How about this

这件怎么样

Maybe Come on

-还行 -拜托

Yeah okay no

好吧这件不行

Do you think you'll sleep with him tonight

你觉得你今晚会和他上床吗

Absolutely not

绝对不会

Look we're just gonna have dinner

我们就是吃个饭

and you know see how it goes

然后再看情况吧

If he were dying would you sleep with him

如果他病入膏肓了你会和他上床吗

What

什么

Assuming he were dying of something

假设他身患绝症

that couldn't be sexually transmitted

而这种病不会通过性行为传播

You know like a spear wound to the head

比如脑袋上的箭伤

Okay he is not dying

够了他的命长着呢

How do you know Are you a doctor

你怎么知道你是医生吗

You can make believe though

不过你可以这么幻想嘛

Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up

有时候霍华德和我会假装他出现了心律失常

and I'm a sexy cardiologist

而我是一个性感的心脏病医生

And the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network

最好玩的部分是我的护理服务可是不收费的哟

Screw it I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this

算了我不打算搞得好得多大件事

It's just dinner

就是吃个晚饭嘛

With a dead man

跟死人一起吃

Amy stop it

艾米别说了

Oh God I'm so nervous

天啊我好紧张

Relax

放松啦

You know Leonard's always been crazy about you

你知道莱纳德一直都很喜欢你

It's gonna be great

不会有事的

I know but we've finally gotten to a place

我知道可是我们好不容易才到了

where we can hang out without it being weird

见面聊天都不尴尬的地步

And what if something goes wrong Then what

万一出了什么岔子呢然后怎么办

Guess it'll just be Sheldon and me

我猜只有谢尔顿和我

going on a double date with Howard and Bernadette

去陪霍华德和伯纳黛特一起四人约会了

Sure we'd love that

是啊我们好期待

Change your clothes we got a lot riding on this

快换衣服我俩可就指望你俩今晚的表现了

I want to build a road

我想修条路

wood亦指勃起的阴茎

but I need wood

但我需要硬木

Do either of you fellows have wood

你俩谁有硬木吗

I don't understand the laughter

我不知道你们在笑什么

The object of Settlers of Catan

《卡坦岛》的目标

is to build roads and settlements

就是修建道路和房屋

To do so requires wood

所以需要硬木

sheep有时用来指代发生性关系的女人

Now I have sheep I need wood

我现在有绵羊缺硬木

Who has wood for my sheep

谁能拿硬木换我的绵羊

Okay how do I look

我这身看着怎么样

More to the point why are you doing this

我更想知道你为什么要这么做

What are you talking about

你在说什么

Did you forget what Penny did to you

你忘了佩妮当初怎么对你的吗

It took you two years and defiling my sister

你花了两年的时间还玷污了我妹妹

to turn that frown upside down

才把你的愁云惨淡换成嬉皮笑脸

I didn't defile your sister we had a relationship

我没有玷污你妹妹我们只是交往过

Brown Sugar 多数形容漂亮性感的黑人女性

I heard you call her Brown Sugar

我以前听你叫她"靓妹黑妞"呢

In my book that's defilement

在我看来这就是玷污

You want to know my opinion

想听听我的意见吗

Oh boy do I

天啊想听得不得了

Sarcasm

是故意说反话吗

不是

All right then

那好吧

The reason you're fixated on

你之所以对佩妮这种

a good natured simpleton like Penny is that

秀外痴中的姑娘念念不忘

she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment

是因为她跟你的第一位爱慕对象截然相反

your brilliant yet intimidating mother

也就是你害怕的天才母亲

Where on earth did you get that from

你怎么会有这种想法

It's in her book Needy Baby Greedy Baby

她的书《越缺爱的小孩越贪心》里写的

That doesn't make it true

那也不代表就是真的

It's called nonfiction for a reason Leonard

莱纳德那本书可是非虚构类的

See you later

回见

If they ever make a movie version of that book

如果有人把她那本书拍成电影

you know who should play Leonard's mother

你们知道该由谁来扮演莱纳德的妈妈吗

桑德拉·布洛克好莱坞著名女影星演过不少爱情片

Sandra Bullock

桑德拉·布洛克

Why

为什么

Because she's great in everything

因为她每部作品都诠释得很好

Now where were we

我们玩到哪儿了

Oh yes Does anyone have any wood

对了你们谁有硬木吗

Oh come on

拜托

I just want wood

人家只是想要硬木而已

Why are you making it so hard

有必要要搞得这么难[硬]啊

So do they have a name for a first date

有什么词可以形容

with someone you used to go out with

跟以前相好过的人第一次约会吗

Oh that's a good question

这个问题问得好

How about "awkward"

"尴尬"怎么样

Yeah that sounds right Yeah

-这词挺恰当的 -对吧

Hey how about if we pretend we're actually on a first date

要不我们假装这真的是第一次约会

See how that goes Okay

-看看结果怎么样 -好啊

So Polly tell me about yourself

胖妮跟我说说你吧

It's Penny

我叫佩妮

Oh sorry yeah Awkward

对不起真尴尬

Okay uh let's see

没事我想想

I'm from Nebraska and ever since I was a little girl

我来自内布拉斯加我还很小的时候

I dreamed of moving to L A and becoming a movie star

就梦想着能搬到洛杉矶成为一名电影明星

Anyway after four years of acting lessons

不过上了四年的表演课

and waiting tables

当了四年服务员之后

I've done a hemorrhoid commercial

我出演了一个痔疮广告

and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley

和一个保龄球球道上面扮演过安妮·弗兰克

So you know dreams do come true

所以梦想真的能实现的

Your turn

该你了

Uh let's see

我想想

Uh I am an experimental physicist at Cal Tech

我是加州理工学院的实验物理学家

most of my research is with high powered lasers

大部分研究都跟高功率激光有关

and oh I've just gotten a big government grant

我最近刚拿到一大笔政府资助金

to see if they can be used to knock out

看看能不能用于研究

incoming ballistic missiles

击落来袭的弹道导弹

Wow Can they

哇那能实现吗

Oh God no

废话当然不行

The money's pretty good

不过看在这么多钱的份上

And I used the equipment to make my own Bat signal

我还用那设备来发射自己的蝙蝠信号[蝙蝠侠中的求救信号]

Bat signal

蝙蝠信号

What are you some kind of nerd

怎么你是所谓的宅男吗

Not some kind of nerd I'm the king of the nerds

不是所谓的宅男而是宅男之王

What does that mean

宅男之王是什么意思

Uh it means if anyone displeases me

意思是谁要是惹恼我了

I don't help them set up their printer

我就不帮他们装打印机

You are so funny Good

-你真幽默 -那就好

Remember that when I take my shirt off

那我脱衣服的时候你就想着这个优点好了

Leonard this is nice

莱纳德这样真好

I'm so glad we did this

我很高兴我们能约会

Me too

我也是

So what do you think

那你意下如何

Are we gonna get back together

我们能复合吗

Whoa Not so fast

不用这么快吧

I'm sorry what did I say

对不起我说错什么了吗

Leonard you know I will always have feelings for you

莱纳德你知道我对你的感觉永远不会变

Oh God What

-老天 -怎么了

You said "always "

你说了"永远"

You'll always have feelings for me

你对我的感觉永远不会变

有问题吗

So that sounds more like something you'd say

那听起来更像是在说

if you didn't want a relationship with someone

你不想和某人谈恋爱

"This isn't working out "

"我们不会有结果的"

"but I'll always have feelings for you "

"但我对你的感觉永远不会变"

"I'm sorry I slept with your best friend "

"对不起我跟你的好朋友睡了"

"but I'll always have feelings for you "

"但我对你的感觉永远不会变"

"Here's the thing Lisa

"是这样的丽莎"

I'm into dudes now but I'll always have feelings for you "

"我现在喜欢男的了但我对你的感觉永远不会变"

How would you say it

那你会怎么说

I have feelings for you

我对你的感觉不会变

It's the same thing No it's not

-这不是一样嘛 -不一样

"Always" made it worse

加上"永远"只会适得其反

You're overthinking this No I'm not

-你想太多了 -我没有

Yes you are You always overthink things

你有你永远都是这样

Th There you go "Always" made it worse

你看吧一加"永远"就变味了

See this is where everything goes wrong when we talk

瞧我们一谈起来就开始吵架

Well I don't know how you have a relationship without talking

谈恋爱当然要用"谈"的啦

Hey I went out with this guy TJ for eight months

我以前还跟一个叫TJ的家伙在一起八个月

we never talked

我们从来没谈过话

To this day I don't even know what TJ stands for

直到现在我都不知道TJ代表啥

Wait if you guys didn't talk what

等等你们要是不谈的话

Never mind stupid question

算了这问题真二

And now that I have some wood

我现在有硬木了

I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement

我的殖民地要开始"崛起"了

He's got to be doing this on purpose

他肯定是故意这么说的

Ooh 8 30

才八点半呢

You and Penny decide to go out and paint the town beige

你跟佩妮是出去打酱油的吗

You are 30 years old and you live with your mother

某人都三十岁了还跟妈妈同住一屋

I guess it didn't go well

看来约会不太顺利

We don't know that

我们可不知道

Not to a certainty

不能确定

All we know is that Leonard is home

我们只知道莱纳德到家了

How about now

现在呢

Again not enough evidence

证据还是不够

For all we know he's being murdered

我们只知道他被谋杀了

Now back to our game

现在继续游戏

You were in the middle of an erection

你不是在"崛起"中吗

Oh of course It's right here in my hand

对哦那"玩意儿"就在我手中

What does she want from me now

她现在是想怎样

What's up

怎么了

Do not overthink this

别想太多

I don't understand Bup bup bup bup bup bup bup

-我不懂 -一切尽在不言中

Okay but earlier it seemed like

好吧但是之前不是...

No talking

别说话

Even during 'Cause sometimes I have questions

做的时候也不说话吗因为有时我会想提问耶

Well that was fun

挺不错

Yeah except for when I got the foot cramp

是啊除掉我脚抽筋的部分

You hung in there though

但你还是挺住了

There was a lot at stake

牺牲小我成全大我

So what do you want to do now

你现在想做什么

Well I want to go get my asthma inhaler

我想去拿我的哮喘吸入器

but it might ruin the moment

但这样就太毁气氛了

Just just help me out here

我还是不明白

How does a miserable date end in sex

为什么糟糕的约会能以滚床单收场

I don't know it's complicated

我也不知道这太复杂了

Well I'm a pretty smart guy

我很聪明的

and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply

而且现在血液主要在往大脑流动了

so give it a go

试试也无妨嘛

Okay it's just

好吧只是...

at the restaurant when you said

在餐厅里你说想

you wanted us to be together again

想跟我复合

it got very real very fast and I panicked

感觉太真实太突然了我吓到了

Why

为什么

What are you afraid of

你在怕什么

Well what if we do go out

要是我们真的和好了

and I do something stupid and dump you again

但我又做了什么蠢事又把你甩了怎么办

What if I dump you

怎么就不是我甩你呢

Come on be serious

得了别闹

Well how about if we don't think about this as a relationship

那不然我们都不把这当成是谈恋爱

It could be more like a new version of software

就好比是一款新的软件

Penny and Leonard 2 0

佩妮和莱纳德2.0升级版

We can test it internally shake out the bugs

我们可以先内测捉虫

and if we both feel it's solid

等我们都觉得稳定了

then we'll roll it out to the public

到时再公之于众

So we don't tell people we're back together

那我们先不告诉别人我们复合了

Exactly

是的

We pretend like our date went badly

我们假装约会进展不顺利

Well we don't really have to pretend

这已经不用假装了

And we let them think that we decided to just be friends

我们让他们以为我们决定只做朋友

and that everything's cool

那样的话就没问题了

Okay great

好啊

Hey I just remembered

我刚想起来

I still got one of your inhalers

我还留着你的吸入器

I can't believe you kept this

不敢相信你还留着

Yeah I was gonna throw it away but I just couldn't

我本来想扔掉但还是舍不得

That is so sweet

你太贴心了

In 25 to 30 minutes I'm gonna show you

大概再过二十五到三十分钟你就能知道

how much this means to me

这对我的意义有多"重大"了

Leonard

莱纳德

Yeah hi hi

好啊

How's it going

你好吗

Uh can't complain

没什么不好

Thanks for asking

不过还是谢谢

Well what were you doing out at 3 00 in the morning

你凌晨三点在外面做什么

Well uh uh what are you doing up

那你又在做什么

I was using the bathroom

我上厕所啊

Yeah well so was I

我也是

Really

真的吗

I didn't see you in there

我怎么在里面没看到你

Obviously when I saw that you were in ours

显然我看到你在用了

I went and used another one

所以我就出去用其它的了

Where

上哪去用了

The the gas station across the street

马路对面的加油站

In your pajamas

穿着睡衣去

Yes

是啊

Without shoes

还没穿鞋去

Yes

是啊

On a cold winter's night

大冬天三更半夜去

Yes

是啊

Seems unlikely

不太可能啊

Did you bring your asthma inhaler

你带你的哮喘吸入器了吗

Uh uh uh yes I did

是的我当然带了

Well then I guess it's plausible

那貌似就可信了

D hang on a second mister What

-等等先生 -干嘛

After you used the facilities at the gas station

你用过加油站的厕所后

did you make a purchase What

-买东西了吗 -什么

It's customary when using the restroom

这是国际惯例你用了零售店的厕所

at a retail establishment to make a small purchase

就要随便买点东西

Did you

你买了吗

没有

Here's two dollars

给你两块钱

Go buy some beef jerky

去买点牛肉干

I don't want beef jerky

我不想吃牛肉干

It's not about you

这不是你想不想的问题

It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan

这关系到可怜的巴基斯坦移民

trying to make his way in America

在科罗拉多大道的

by working the graveyard shift

雪佛龙公司上夜班

at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron

就为了在美国混口饭吃

Fine

好吧

Needy Baby Greedy Baby indeed

还真是越缺爱的小孩越贪心啊

Leonard will be here in a moment

莱纳德马上就来了

He's looking for a different parking space

他要重找一个停车位

Why

为什么

We were next to a car

我们旁边停着一辆车

with an "Ask me about my grandchildren " bumper sticker

上面贴着一张贴纸写着"聊聊我的孙子们"

and I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out

我担心如果走的时候遇到那辆车的车主

I'd be obligated to do so

我就有义务就跟他聊

I'm so disappointed it didn't work with him and Penny

他跟佩妮的约会居然失败了我好失望

Me too

我也是

Out of deference to them

为了不伤害到他们

let's not flaunt our happy relationship

咱们就别炫耀自家的完美恋情了

You have a keen insight into the human heart

你还真是体贴善良啊

Amy Farrah Fowler

艾米·费拉·福勒

2000年美国总统选举中民主党的正副总统候选人

We are next to a Suburu with a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker

现在旁边那辆斯巴鲁上贴着一张写着"戈尔/利伯曼"的贴纸

Well I doubt they'd want to talk about that so we're fine

我觉得他们不会想聊那个所以我们安全了

I'm surprised to see you here

你跟佩妮的约会搞砸了

after it went so badly with Penny

你居然还会来这吃饭

Well hey we're grown ups

我们都是大人了

We can still be friends

买卖不成仁义在嘛

Boy I don't know if I could be friends with Howie

天啊要是我跟霍华德分手了

if we broke up

估计就做不成朋友了

Why not

为什么

I'm a very vengeful person

我是个报复心很重的人

Really

真的吗

With access to weaponized smallpox

而且我还能弄到改造成生化武器的天花

Here you go guys let me get you going with some water

伙计们我先给你们上点水

You need menus or you know what you want

你们要看菜单吗还是已经想好要点什么了

Leonard knows what he wants

莱纳德知道自己想要什么

but it looks like he's not gonna get it from you

不过看来从你这是捞不着了

Howard

霍华德

No that's okay Bernadette

不没事伯纳黛特

Sometimes these things just don't work out

有些人就是不适合在一起

Yeah it's all good

没错不过没关系

We We'll always have feelings for each other

我们我们对彼此的感觉永远不会变

Oh that's nice

还真是不错啊

See she knew what "always" meant

看吧她也知道"永远"的含义

Wow you're like a dog with a bone aren't you

你就是得理不饶人是吧

I'm just making a point

我只是想证明我的观点而已

Is the point that you don't know when to let something go

你不知道该何时放手的观点吗

People people

够了够了

please before you say something you both regret

拜托在你俩开始说一些会后悔的话时

I'd like to place my order

我想先点菜

Yeah just hang on Sheldon

好的稍等谢尔顿

You know why we can't be together

你知道咱俩为什么不能做情侣吗

Because you always have to be right

因为对的永远你错的永远我

Oh that is not true

才不是呢

I got to go with Leonard on this

这点我认同莱纳德

He is wrong more than anyone I know

他是我认识的人中犯错最多的

You know what I just realized I'm on a break

我刚想起来现在是我的休息时间

I'll get someone else

我叫别人过来给你们点单

Leonard promise me that when our new waitress comes over

莱纳德你要保证等我们下一个女招待过来以后

you will not start a complicated on again

你绝不可以一会儿跟她玩复合

off again relationship with her

一会儿跟她玩翻脸的恋情

because I am very very hungry

因为我现在非常非常饿

Unbelievable

真是难以置信

Mind explaining to me why you were being

你想解释一下你在餐厅里的时候

such a jerk at the restaurant

表现得像个混蛋一样吗

I was trying to act like we weren't seeing each other

我那是努力装作咱们没有复合

That was the plan right No

-这不是咱俩的计划吗 -不是

the plan was to tell people we decided to stay friends

计划是告诉他们咱们决定只当朋友

That's a little hard to do

你整天那么讨人厌

when you're always being such a tool bag

弄得我也很难演下去

You know what I don't have to stand here and take this crap

我用不着站在这听你数落

The hell do you think you're going

你这是去哪呀

Isn't sex after fighting kind of what we do now

咱俩现在不就是一吵完架就上床吗

Yeah kind of yeah

好吧说得没错

What are we doing

我们这是干嘛啊

What do you mean

什么意思

Every scenario I play out for you and me ends badly

我每次幻想到咱俩在一起的场面结局总是很糟

That's because you overthink everything

那是因为你总是想得太多

Leonard are you listening to me

莱纳德你在听我说话吗

What Yeah

什么我在听啊

This is a disaster

这简直就是个灾难

I distinctly ordered

我分明订的是

the Leonard Nimoy Mr Spock cardboard standee

伦纳德·尼莫伊版的史波克纸模

Why would I feel safer

扎克瑞·昆图站在我的床脚

with Zachary Quinto at the foot of my bed

怎么能让我觉得安全呢

I don't know he was pretty badass on Heroes

不知道啊可是他演《英雄》的时候挺威猛的啊

You're right I'll give him a shot

也是那我就给他一次机会吧

Hang on

等一下

Penny do you have plans for dinner

佩妮你今天的晚饭有安排吗

Why you guys going somewhere

怎么了你们要去什么好地方吗

No I mean just you and me

不是就咱俩单独吃

Uh have you thought this through

你有认真考虑过才问我的吗

Yes and I think we should go anyway

对而且我认为我们必须去

No can't do it

不行我还是做不到

Sorry Quinto you're going back

抱歉昆图你还是滚回去吧

If you and Leonard get back together

如果你跟莱纳德复合了

Sheldon and I will finally have someone

就终于有人可以跟我和谢尔顿

to go on double dates with

出去四人约会了

What about me and Howard

不能跟我和霍华德出去吗

Fine we can double with you too

好吧我们也可以跟你们四人约会

So insecure

太没安全感了

Where are you guys going to eat

你们俩要去哪吃饭

Penny

佩妮

Do you Penny take Leonard to be your lawful wedded husband

佩妮你愿意接受莱纳德作为你的合法丈夫吗

Well it's a little late for me

我现在说不愿意

to start saying no isn't it

有点太迟了对不对

Penny

佩妮

Sorry just remembered I've got to stop at the drugstore

抱歉突然想起来我待会要去一下药店