生活大爆炸-S11E04_生活大爆炸

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Okay

好吧

It feels like it wasn't that long ago

感觉没多久之前

we were here doing this for Halley

我们才来这里为哈雷做产检啊

'Cause it wasn't

因为真的没多久

Which reminds me before we leave

感谢你提醒我在我们走之前

let's get you a vasectomy

先把你给结扎了

Oh that's sweet but today is all about you

真有心但今天你才是主角

So you two ready to find out the sex of this baby

你们俩准备好知道孩子的性别了吗

Yeah Absolutely

-是的 -当然

Is Halley hoping for a little brother or a little sister

哈雷是想要个弟弟还是妹妹呢

Well she's nine months old

她才九个月大

so unless it jingles or is in my bra she doesn't care

她只对有音乐或在我胸罩里的东西感兴趣

And how about you two

那你们俩心里呢

You know for the first one we really wanted a girl

生第一个时我们很想要个女孩

but this time around we don't have a preference

但这一次来说我们都可以啦

Yeah Boy girl as long as it's healthy

是啊男孩女孩只要健康就好

Well it's a boy

是个男孩

Come on you can't really be disappointed

不是吧你们不是真的失望吧

Hey I barely know how to be a man myself

我自己都当不好一个男人了

Now I have to teach someone

现在还得教别人吗

As the saying goes those who can't do teach

常言道"没能力的就去教人"

Don't you want a little version of Howard

你不想要个孩子版的霍华德吗

I already have a little version of Howard

我已经有个孩子版的霍华德了

Now I'm having a son

我现在要有儿子了

I'll have to teach him how to play sports

我得教他各种体育运动

and and watch sports

还得带他看体育比赛

and and and and and and

然后... 然后... 然后...

He just ran out of man things He's in trouble

他想不出还有什么爷们的事了碰到了困难

It's okay We're all here to help

没事啊我们都会帮忙你

Yes And this baby will have plenty of manly role models

对啊这孩子会有许多很爷们的榜样

Now I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him

我很确定伯纳黛特教不了他的东西

Penny can

佩妮能教

Uh she can pee into a bottle

她尿得进瓶子里呢

Anything with a neck wider than a nickel

只要瓶口大过硬币就行

Howie there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son

华仔你有很多能教我们孩子的事情啊

Yeah You do always know how to pick just the right antacid

对啊比如你总是能选出最合适的抑酸剂

I don't know if I can teach that

我不知道这个能否传承

It's just something I was born with

这是我与生俱来的天赋

Come on You can build things

打起精神来嘛你还会造东西啊

You were an astronaut

你还曾是个宇航员

That's true

这倒是

You know as a kid I used to make model rockets

我小时候就曾经搭过火箭模型

That'd be pretty cool to do with a son

估计跟儿子一起搭还挺不错

Model rockets Finally something interesting

火箭模型终于聊到点有意思的了

What is your preferred mode of recovery

你倾向用何种方式回收火箭呢

Sheldon we're helping our friends

谢尔顿现在是在帮忙我们的朋友

And we got to model rockets yeah

然后聊到了火箭模型不是吗

It was a tedious road but well worth the effort

虽然路程索然无味但皇天不负有心人

So have you thought of any names Amy

-你们帮他想好名字了吗 -艾米

We finally got to model rockets

我们终于聊到了火箭模型

Why are you turning back

你干嘛把话题又转回去

生

活

大

爆

炸

第十一季第四集

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

宇宙一度又烫又稠密

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait

140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool

地球开始降温

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

自养生物来起哄穴居人发明工具

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

我们建长城我们建金字塔

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

数学自然科学历史揭开神秘

That all started with a big bang

一切由大爆炸开始

Bang

By aBu 20171020

Hey where are you going

你要去哪里

Back to the dry cleaner Look at this

回去干洗店你看这个

They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform

他们没把我星际舰队的制服洗干净

Well if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed

要不是你整天让我涂绿漆再穿它跟你上床

星际联邦的正规军队及外太空探索部队

影集《星际迷航》中

you wouldn't have to get it dry cleaned so much

你也不用常常拿去让人干洗了

Nah it's worth it

没事值得

Hey wait it's your mom

等等是你妈妈打来

Oh too bad She just missed me

太遗憾她错过我了

Hey Beverly

你好啊贝弗利

Oh hello Penny

你好啊佩妮

Uh Leonard just left

莱纳德刚走

He's gonna be so upset he mssed your call

他要知道错过了你电话一定会很难过

为什么会

Because he

因为他...

Yeah I don't know

我也不知道

How are you

你最近好吗

Did you mean personally or professionally

你是指个人方面还是工作上

Um personally

个人方面

Like what'd you do last night

比如你昨晚干嘛了

I had Cuban food at the home of a man

我去了一个男人家中吃了古巴菜

with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse

然而与他的性爱并不太让人满足

Wow Okay

好吧

And to anticipate your next questions

根据我掐指一算你的下一个问题

roasted pork and sideways missionary

答案是烤猪肉与侧身传教士式

Sure Sure 'Cause you were full

当然不意外毕竟你们吃很饱

I haven't looked at all this stuff in years

我多少年没看过这些东西了

Had it

有过

Had it

我也有

Burnt down my garage with it

我家车库烧了全靠它

I had three model rockets as a kid

我小时候有过三个火箭模型

and that was the largest space program in India

那是印度最大的三个太空计划了

You have a replica Saturn V

你居然有土星五号火箭的模型吗

Yeah My dad bought it before he you know

对啊我爸在他... 你懂的

abandoned our family

抛妻弃子前买给我的

Lucky duck

你可真幸福

Could never bring myself to open it without him

一直不想在没有他的情况下拆开

It's silly

真傻

No it's not silly

一点都不傻啊

I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me

我也一直想要我爸爸跟我一起做火箭模型

but he wasn't interested

可是他没兴趣

Ah yes disappointing fathers

是啊令人失望的父亲们

Tell me about it

可不是咋的

I remember for my 16th birthday my dad bought me a Mercedes

我还记得我16岁生日我爸给我买了奔驰

Like a little one like a starter Mercedes

那种小台入门款的奔驰而已

He had barely handed me the keys

他前脚刚把车钥匙给我

before he had to rush back to work

后脚就得赶去上班

I didn't see him again till like

我就再也没见过他...

pretty late that night

一直到那天深夜他才回来

Anyway

言归正传

as angry as I was with him leaving

虽然我对他的离去还有怨气

building this stuff is probably what led me

但我大概就是因为搭过这些模型

to become an engineer

才去当了工程师

I suppose in his own way

我想我爸爸也是

my dad also encouraged me to pursue science

用了他自己的方法鼓励我追求科学

I mean he is the one that taught me

比如就是他教了我

that flatulence is combustible

原来屁是可燃的

And also polyester gym shorts don't burn

还有涤纶运动短裤不会烧起来

They melt

而是会融化

Yeah I guess I'm an astrophysicist because

是啊我想我会成为天体物理学家

as a kid I said I like to look at the stars

也是因为小时候我说我想看星星

so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck telescope

所以我爸送我去夏威夷看凯克望远镜

是世界上口径第二大的光学/近红外线望远镜

夏威夷凯克天文台的凯克望远镜

Screw you My pain is real

去你们的哥的苦你们不懂

You know what Forget the past

其实呢忘了那些往事吧

What do you say you and me build this rocket

我们俩一起来搭这个火箭模型如何

That sounds like it could be a real bonding experience for us

感觉可以是一次我们俩真正交心的机会

Right

对吧

Oh I see

我懂了

Oh you think that's a positive

你觉得这是一件好事

So you don't want to hang out with Sheldon and Howard

所以你不想跟谢尔顿与霍华德玩了吗

No they were bonding over their sad childhoods

他们因为可怜的童年而聊得来

and my stupid parents were always there for me

而我的臭爸妈却从小在我身旁支持我

What's all this

这些是什么

I'm just boxing up all the clothes Halley's outgrown

我在把哈雷穿不下的衣服装箱收起来

Guess we won't need them anymore

以后估计是用不到了

Oh well slow down

别着急

I'm sure there's some you could reuse for a boy

里面有一部分男孩也能穿的吧

Daddy's little girl

爸爸的小女孩吗

Okay well what if we uh change it to say

好吧但如果我们把他改成...

Daddy's little girl magnet

爸爸的小女孩杀手

Boom Boy shirt

你看小帅哥就能穿啦

What about this

这件呢

Uh okay

好吧

Uh pull off the skirt slap a lightning bolt on the front

把裙子部分去掉在前胸加个闪电的符号

and you got baby Flash

就成了闪电侠宝宝

Stick a long sleeve under it

在底下加长袖

Boom Baby Sheldon

你看就成了谢尔顿宝宝

Wow you're really good at this

你很在行嘛

Oh please

拜托

This isn't my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes

我也不是第一次把女娃装改成男娃装了

Why You got your sister's hand me downs

怎么你小时候也穿过姐姐的二手衣吗

Yeah that

就当是吧

Oh I should've brought peanuts

我应该带点花生的

You can't eat peanuts You're allergic

你又不能吃花生你会过敏

If you die who's going to drive me home

你要是死了谁来开车送我回家呢

I'm not gonna eat them

我不会吃的

It's a thing they do at JPL

这是喷气推进实验室做会的事

负责开发与管理无人空间探测任务

美国国家航空航天局的一个下属机构

When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch

当徘徊者号终于成功发射的那一次

发射过9次只成功过5次

美国在1960年代进行的无人太空任务

there were peanuts in the room

控制中心就有花生

Ever since then they have them at every launch

从那时起每次发射都会摆上花生

That sounds like a silly superstition

听起来是很白痴的封建迷信

It's more of a tradition

应该说是传统

Oh I do love a tradition

传统我倒是很喜欢

Could you pull over at the next peanut store

下一家花生店你能不能靠边停一下

I don't think that's a real thing

没有这种店吧

Oh don't be pedantic

脑筋怎么转不过来弯呢

Any nut store will do

随便一家坚果店都行啊

I I don't think we can get peanuts out here

这附近应该没有卖花生的

Ah well then this whole day's ruined

好吧那今天就毁了

Now that I think about it maybe it is more of a superstition

现在想想其实这更应该只是迷信

Whew That was close

那好险啊

Oh uh hey Beverly you called my phone not Leonard's

贝弗利你打的是我手机不是莱纳德的

Actually I was hoping to speak with you

其实我是想和你聊聊

Is this a good time

现在方便吗

Uh that depends

看情况

What time is it where you are

你那边现在几点

Uh just after 5 00

下午刚过5点

Yeah that counts

好吧那也作数

西方文化认为下午5点前是工作时间不宜饮酒

What's up

有什么事

Well I enjoyed our conversation the other day

我挺喜欢我们前几天的对话

and I was hoping to continue it

希望能继续

Really

真的吗

Uh yes You may find this surprising

真的你可能会感到意外

but I don't have a lot of what you would call girlfriends

但其实我没有很多你所谓的"闺蜜"

What

不会吧

Of course there are my female colleagues

当然也有些女同事

but uh they're all Freudians

不过她们都是弗洛伊德学派的

so the only boy that I can dish about is my father

所以我能和她们抱怨的男人就只有我父亲

恋父情节就是由弗洛伊德所提出的

Uh well you know I'm here for you

好吧我随时奉陪

What do you want to talk about

你想聊什么

Well last time we focused on my life

上次我们主要聊了我的生活

If we're going to be real girlfriends

如果我们要当真正的闺蜜

we should talk about you as well

也应该聊聊你的生活

Well you know if we're gonna be real girlfriends

如果我们要当真正的闺蜜

we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back

就应该再找个女生加入才能在背后说她坏话

Oh so we'd be catty

那我们就是阴损姐妹喵

Oh I like it

我喜欢

What about Sheldon's fiance

谢尔顿的未婚妻怎么样

She seems a bit dour

她好像挺死气沉沉的

Ooh dour Meow

死气沉沉吗毒喵啊

All right

好了

Here we go

来吧

L minus ten nine

准备发射十九

Wait what are you doing It's T minus

等等你这是干什么应该说"发射倒计时"

I was an astronaut We used L minus

我曾是宇航员我们的用语是"准备发射"

But this is a Saturn V

可这模型是土星五号

and when they launched those they said T minus

当年发射这种火箭时是说倒计时

It's my rocket We're doing it my way

这是我的火箭要按我说的做

Fine

好吧

I'm not saying I know why your dad left

我不是说我知道你父亲当年离开的原因

but I think I'm getting an idea

不过我好像明白了

L minus

准备发射

ten nine eight

十九八

seven six

七六

'Cause you're kind of bossy

因为你挺霸道的

five four three two

五四三二

one

一

I remember them going up higher

我记得它们能飞更高啊

Well that's perfect

这下好了

I mean the one thing I thought I could do with my son

我唯一一件以为能和儿子一起做的事

I can't even do that right

我都做不好

Well if you want to see it again I got it on video

你要是想再看一遍我录了视频

Looks pretty cool in slow motion

用慢镜播放看起来还挺酷的

Thank you for your support

谢谢你的支持

You're welcome I was being sarcastic

-不客气 -我是在说反话

How dare you

你好大的胆

Sheldon what am I gonna do

谢尔顿我该怎么办

I mean what do I know about raising a boy

我哪懂该如何养育一个男孩

What do you know about raising a girl

难道你懂该如何养育女孩吗

Oh my God you're right

天啊你说得对

Well I don't know if that was sarcasm or not

我不知道那是不是讽刺

So either you're welcome or hey

所以要么不客气要么你讨厌

Leonard did you really just text me from the couch

莱纳德你不是真的从沙发那发短信

to put extra mustard on your sandwich

叫我给你的三明治多放点黄芥末吧

I was worried you might not check your e mail

我还担心你可能不会看手机呢

I swear to God I will throw this out

我发誓我会把三明治扔了

That one was not me

这条不是我发的

Oh wait it was just your mom

等等是你妈

My mother's texting you

我妈给你发短信吗

Yeah We've been talking a lot lately

是啊最近我们常聊天

Why

为什么

She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall

坏皇后跟墙上的魔镜聊腻了吗

No I think she's lonely

不是啦我觉得她寂寞了

She's been reaching out

她最近常找我聊

Okay just be careful

好吧小心点

You think you're getting close to her

你以为自己和她更亲近了

and the next thing you know you're featured in a book

殊不知下一刻你就被写进书里

called He's Doing It On Purpose Raising a Teenage Bed Wetter

书名叫《他是故意的: 养育一个尿床的青少年》

No it's not like that

不是那样的

You know she's been opening up about her life

她最近常分享她的生活

and she's actually been really supportive about mine

而且对我的生活也给予很多支持

Really Yeah

-真的吗 -是啊

I've been telling her about my job

我跟她说了我工作的事

and she said she was proud of me

她说她为我感到骄傲

Well that's great

真好

Never told me she was proud of me

她从没说过为我感到骄傲

Even when I stayed dry for a whole month

哪怕我有一整个月都没尿床

Do you not want me to be friends with your mom

你不希望我和你妈做朋友吗

Well let's be clear

我们把话说清楚

I I married you to hurt her

我娶你是为了伤害她

You're kind of ruining it

这乐趣现在要被你毁了

Reason number 13 to feel good

开心的第13个理由

as a launch it was bad

作为一次发射很失败

but as an explosion it was glorious

但作为一次爆炸简直壮丽

Reason 14

第14个理由

you still have all your fingers

你十根手指都还在

and boys prefer a dad with fingers

男孩都喜欢有手指的爸爸

Thanks for trying

感谢你的努力

but you're not gonna be able to cheer me up

但你没法让我开心的

Well how about this then

那这招怎么样

You quit your whining before I give you

别再叽叽歪歪了

something to cry about young man

否则我打到你"鸡歪" 年轻人

What

什么

Those are comforting words my father would often say

我父亲以前常用这些话安慰我

Did it help

有帮助吗

I turned out great

我现在是人中龙凤啊

You tell me

你说呢

Let's get going

我们走吧

Are you gonna be this mopey all the way home

回家路上你也要这么丧吗

I don't know maybe

我不知道可能吧

There any chance you'd be cheered up

那超高难度的三角函数谜题

by an amazing trigonometry riddle

能让你打起精神吗

Well if you can't answer that

你要是连这个都回答不了

there's no way you're gonna get this riddle

那你肯定也解不了题

Oh hey hey what do you think

你觉得怎么样

Just because it's a boy I don't think you need to

虽说是男孩但你也不用在他衣服上

put a picture of genitals on his shirt

缝个生殖器图案吧

But that's a baseball bat with two little baseballs

那是棒球棒和两颗小棒球啦

Okay and now I see it

现在我看出来了

So you know I understand why

我能理解为什么

Howard is nervous about having a son

霍华德为儿子的出生而紧张

but are you really upset about it

可你是真的不开心吗

No I'm fine

我其实还好啦

It's just I grew up with a bunch of brothers

只是我从小在兄弟堆中长大

so I thought it'd be nice for Halley to have a sister

所以我觉得哈雷有个妹妹挺好的

Is that wrong

这个想法错了吗

Of course it's wrong

当然错了

You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like

你又不知道这个男孩会成长为怎样的人

Maybe he'll be rough and tumble

也许他会粗鲁莽撞

or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive

也许他会温柔敏感

or maybe he'll be all those things like me

也许他会集上述性格为一身就像我

You're rough and tumble

你粗鲁又莽撞吗

You bet I am bitch

来试试看啊小婊砸

But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that

但我也很敏感我收回刚才的话

Hey Hello

-嗨 -好呀

You got a sec

有空吗

Sure What's up

有呀怎么了

Penny's been talking to my mother

佩妮最近一直在和我妈聊天

like they're best friends and it's kind of freaking me out

就像最好的闺蜜一样让我瘆得慌

I'm pretty sure they're not best friends

我敢肯定她俩不是最好的闺蜜

'Cause you can only have one best friend

因为每个人只能有一个最好的闺蜜

And Penny has that and it's me

佩妮名花有主了那就是我

Oh really Is she FaceTiming with you right now

是吗那她正和你在视频吗

Because she's FaceTiming with my mom and believe me

因为她现在正跟我妈视频呢

that is not a face you want to spend time with

而我妈那张脸应该让人看不下去才对

Hmm Well I have been pretty busy lately

我最近确实挺忙的

Maybe I've been neglecting our friendship

也许是我对这段友情疏于照顾了

Penny knows I have a complicated relationship with my mother

佩妮知道我和我妈关系复杂

it's like she doesn't even care

可她却毫不在意

And with everything going on at the lab

实验室里事多繁杂

and planning the wedding

加上还要计划婚礼

I just I have so little free time

我的空闲时间实在太少了

Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be

佩妮不知道我妈有多会玩弄人于鼓掌之间

Did you know there's such a thing as

你知道世界上所谓的

reverse reverse reverse psychology

逆反再逆反之三重逆反心理吗

Because there is

因为... 真的有

I mean she must feel so abandoned

她一定觉得自己受冷落了

She's used to me being there all the time

她太习惯我在她左右

but now I have my own life

但我现在有了自己的生活

and she's just gonna have to accept it

她必须要适应这件事

And why is my mom proud of Penny and not me

为什么我妈为佩妮骄傲而不是为我骄傲

I mean the real question is why is Penny so afraid of me

最重要的问题是为什么佩妮不愿意

growing as a person

接受我成长的事实

I'm good at stuff too

我也有擅长的东西呀

I deserve my own life

我也需要有自己的生活呀

Okay well thanks

好了多谢

Good talk

聊得愉快

You know studies have shown

研究证明

that people distracted by emotional issues

会受情绪影响而分心的人

are poor drivers

都是垃圾司机

What about people distracted by irritating passengers

那遇到烦人乘客才分心的人呢

That would be hard to test

这倒是很难实验

because irritating is a subjective quality

因为烦人是一种主观的素质

Strongly disagree

强烈反对

Can I drive

能让我开车吗

不行

You can't drive

你不能开车

You don't even have a license

你连驾照都没有

Actually I do

实际上我有的

Really Since when

真的吗什么时候的事

Three years ago

3年前

I went on a bit of a license kick

我有段时间迷上了考执照

I'm also a commercial fisherman

我还是个职业渔民

Then why don't you ever drive yourself

那你为什么从不自己开车

Honestly I barely passed my test

老实说我考试也是低分通过

And the one time I drove on my own

而我唯一一次独自开车上路

I made a U turn got dizzy threw up and walked home

调了个头开始晕车吐了满身最后走回家

You really want to drive

你真的想开车吗

It seems like the perfect time

感觉是个很好的时机啊

The roads are straight there's no one around

大路笔直没有车来车往

and you don't seem to care if you live or die

你看起来也不太在乎自己的死活

Live Sheldon I want to live

活着谢尔顿我绝对想活着

That makes things a little trickier

这样事情就有点难度了

but I'll do my best

不过我会尽力的

Hi Pen

嗨佩...

Oh hello Leonard

哦你好呀莱纳德

Hello Mother How are you

你好妈妈最近怎么样

Fine And you I'm great

-很好你呢 -我也不错

Well it's been lovely catching up

好吧很高兴和你聊天

Wait Hang on We need to talk

等等等一下我们需要谈一谈

Oh brother

我的老天

I want to know why aren't you proud of me

我想知道你为什么不为我骄傲

Well isn't the real question

真正的问题难道不该是

"Why aren't you proud of yourself "

"你为什么不为你自己骄傲吗"

No that is a question and I ask it a lot

不那也是一个问题我也问过多次

but let's stick with the one I asked you

不过现在还是先回答我的问题吧

But why do you think I'm not proud of you

你为什么会觉得我不为你自豪呢

Because you never say it

因为你从来没说过呀

But two days into chatting with Penny

可你和佩妮聊了两天

and you can't stop telling her how great she is

你对她总是赞不绝口

She is great

她的确很不错

Honestly of all of my children's spouses

老实说在我所有的儿媳和女婿中

she's the one that I'm most impressed by

她是最令我印象深刻的

Seriously

真的吗

Yes

真的

She's confident she's thoughtful

她自信满满体贴入微

and she never complained about you once

而且从来没有抱怨过你半句

I know what kind of strength that takes

我知道这需要多大的勇气

So Penny's your favorite

所以你最欣赏佩妮吗

I suppose she is

我想她是的

You married well Leonard and for that I am proud of you

你娶了个好姑娘莱纳德对此我为你骄傲

I don't I don't I don't know what to say

我...我不知道...该说什么了

I'm also proud of how hard you're trying not to cry

我也为你努力克制不哭而骄傲

Thank you

谢谢

Would you like to hang up now

你想结束视频了吗

Yeah here it comes

好泪已经忍不住了

Your hands are at 10 00 and 2 00

你的双手在10点和2点方向

Good Steady on the gas

很好稳稳地踩住油门

Okay

不错

Now you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes

现在你可以慢慢换车道了

Why

为什么呀

Because there are only two

因为现在路上只有两车道

and you're not in either of them

而你不在任何一条上

Attaboy Well done

做得好完美

Thank you

谢谢

The last time I drove I was terrified

上次开车时我还吓得半死

but this is fun

今天开车可真有趣

You're doing great

你开得很不错

You're a good teacher

你也是一个好老师

Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father

有你这样的爸爸你儿子一定很幸运

Thanks

谢谢你

Do you think I could try going a little faster

你觉得我可以再开快一点吗

Go for it champ

想做就去做吧小冠军

疼呀

Sorry

抱歉

Just ease on the gas and

轻轻踩一下油门然后...

Oh too much Too much

踩多了踩多了

Why was I scared of this This is exhilarating

我之前在怕什么这真是太刺激了

No it's not Slow down

刺激个大头鬼慢下来

Don't tell me what to do You're not my father

别对我指手画脚的你又不是我爸爸

Do you know how fast you were going

你知道你开得有多快吗

112

时速180公里

Let me see your license

把驾照给我

Okay here's the plan No

-听着我的计划是... -闭嘴

Fine

好吧

There you go

给你

You know what you can just keep it

算了这驾照你留着吧