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What what are you doing
你这是在干嘛
The light is red so I came to a stop
红灯了 所以我停下啊
You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk
你开着偷来的警车 后车厢还有死掉的妓女
You don't have to obey traffic laws
你不必遵守交通规则啊
I know I don't have to
我知道我不必
The fun is choosing to
但选择遵守才是乐趣所在啊
Hey Missed you guys at the faculty mixer
你们没有来学院聚会啊
Ah you should have been there dessert was bananas
真应该来的 甜点简直香蕉你个芭乐赞
Sorry that was misleading The dessert was pie
抱歉 这话有点歧义 甜点是派
but the pie was bananas
这个派香蕉你个大西瓜赞
Actually the pie was cherry
其实这个派是樱桃口味
but the taste of the pie was bananas
但吃起来这美味简直香蕉你个大樱桃
Those mixers are such a waste of university money
这些聚会根本就是在浪费大学的钱
If they spent less money
如果学校少把钱花在
on frivolous nonsense and more money on science
这些琐碎的狗屁上 多花钱在科学上
we'd all be better off
对大家都有好处
You're a theoretical physicist
你就是个理论物理学家
What more do you need than an office and a whiteboard
除了一个办公室跟一张白板 你还需要什么
Someday my new formulas on entropy decrease
某一天 我的量子退相干导致熵减少的
due to quantum decoherence will need to be tested
新公式将会需要测试
and that will require funding
到时候就会需要资金
Your theories are pretty abstract
你的理论都挺抽象的
I wouldn't even know how to
我都不知道该怎么
design an experiment to prove them
设计出证明它们的实验
Says the experimental physicist
某实验物理学家如是说
Well I know a place the university can make some cuts
我知道大学可以从哪里削减支出了
Bye Leonard
莱纳德 拜拜了您那
One second one second
慢着 慢着
He's got a point
他说的不无道理啊
In order to corroborate your string theory research
要想证实你的弦理论研究
you'd have to create a black hole
你就得制造出一个黑洞
Wouldn't that destroy the Earth
那不会毁掉地球吗
Perhaps but we'd all go to the grave knowing I was right
或许吧 但大家都可以知道我是对的再入土
I guess you could create a contained microscopic black hole
我想或许你可以制造个微型黑洞啊
Huh Interesting
有意思
Welcome back Leonard
欢迎回来 莱纳德
Sorry you're out
抱歉 你得卷铺盖了
What did I do
我做什么了
Exactly
正是如此
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state
宇宙一度又烫又稠密
Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait
140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧!
The Earth began to cool
地球开始降温
The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools
自养生物来起哄 穴居人发明工具
We built the Wall We built the pyramids
我们建长城 我们建金字塔
Math Science History unraveling the mystery
数学 自然科学 历史 揭开神秘
That all started with a big bang
一切由大爆炸开始
第十一季 第二十二集
Bang
By aBu 20180429
Ooh this one's pretty
这个好好看
Mm My mother wouldn't approve
我妈不会同意
shows too much clavicle
露太多锁骨了
She calls it "The bosom's welcome mat "
她把锁骨称为"胸部的迎宾脚踏垫"
I can't wait to get drunk
我真是等不及要喝醉
and pick a fight with her at your wedding
然后在婚礼上跟她起争执了
It's just so hard to tell what will look good on me
真的好难知道到底哪件我穿起来会好看
No This is just to give you ideas
不 这只是让你知道个方向
You know do do you want something simple and elegant
让你知道你是想要简单高雅款呢
I mean do you want a train
你想要拖尾[火车]吗
Ooh we're talking about trains
大家在聊火车啊
Not the kind of trains you like
不是你喜欢的那种火车
Oh I like all kinds of trains steam diesel
我喜欢所有火车啊 蒸汽火车 柴油火车
coal elevated bullet
煤炭火车 高架列车 子弹列车
I defy you to name a train that I don't like
你有本事就说出个我不喜欢的火车
The kind on the back of a wedding dress
在婚纱后面的那种火车[拖尾]
I did not see that coming Good job
我完全没料到这个 你厉害
But while we're on the subject of fashion
趁我们刚好在聊有关时尚的话题
I'm asking the university for some funding tomorrow
我明天想跟大学要研究资金
What should I wear
我应该穿什么
Mm Well I've got a push up bra I can loan you
我有一件聚拢提升型胸罩可以借你穿
that always gets me free drinks
它总能让我得到免费酒水
How much money are you asking for
你想要多少经费
$500 million
5亿
Then I'd go no bra
那我就直接不穿胸罩去了
What do you need that kind of money for
你要这么大一笔钱干什么啊
I have figured out an experimental design
我想出了一个实验设计
that may corroborate my latest thinking on string theory
可以证实我最新的弦理论想法
I just need 2 148 high power lasers
我只需要2148台大功率激光器
to compress 20 micrograms of gold into a small enough volume
来把20微克的黄金压缩到足够小的质量
to make a microscopic black hole
从而创造出一个微型黑洞
Just nod
点头就好了
Sheldon they're not gonna give you half a billion dollars
谢尔顿 他们不会给你5亿的
I mean they won't even give me that much
连我都要不到那么多
and I keep promising I can make people's brains "grow younger "
我可是保证了我能让人的大脑"返老还童"呢
Can you
你能吗
No Shh
不能
But I need it It's the only way to settle the contradictions
但我需要啊 这是唯一有办法解决
between gravity and quantum mechanics
重力与量子力学间矛盾的方法了
Well it's too much money you can't ask for that all at once
这要求的款项太大笔了 你不能一次要这么多
Well what if I ask for it in six easy installments
那我让他们分6期付款如何
of $83 333 333 33
每次给8333万3333.33
Okay What if you asked for $20 million
好吧 那你去要个2千万如何
I'm sorry I'm trying to do science
抱歉 我是要做科学研究
not hire Lady Gaga to come to my birthday
不是要请嘎嘎小姐来我生日表演
Do you even know who Lady Gaga is
你知道人家嘎嘎小姐是谁吗
Presumably the wife of Lord Gaga
我推断她应该是嘎嘎先生的老婆
Sheldon you know Penny's got a point
谢尔顿 其实佩妮说的有道理
Sometimes when you want something big from someone
有时候你想跟别人提一个大要求
you you got to be careful not to scare them away you know
你得小心别一下就把别人给吓跑 懂吗
You got to start small and and build up slowly
你得小火开始 慢慢加料慢慢炖
even if it takes eight years
哪怕得炖他个足足八年
Eight long years
八个漫长的年头
That's oddly specific
莫名精确啊
Have you ever done that
你做过这件事吗
Nope
没有
So with this level of high power laser array
用这个程度的大功率激光器阵列
we would actually be able to solve
我们终于可以有办法
the black hole information paradox once and for all
一劳永逸地解决黑洞信息悖论呢
That's impressive and how much funding were you looking for
非常出色 那你需要多少研究资金呢
$20 million
2千万
Really
真的吗
You think you can build that for $20 million
你觉得你用2千万就能造出来吗
Not a chance
下辈子吧
I'm sorry then why are you asking me for it
抱歉 那你为什么跟我要这数目
Because once you've spent $20 million
因为一旦你已经花了2千万
you're much more likely to give me an additional 50
你就很有可能再给我追加5千万
So actually what you're saying is with $70 million
所以其实你的意思是 只要有7千万
you can build this
你就能造出这个
I can see why you'd think that but no
我能理解您为何这么想 但非也
You can't go to the board of trustees
你肯定不能去跟董事会的人说
and say you gave Sheldon Cooper $70 million
你给了谢尔顿·库珀7千万美元
and have nothing to show for it
但什么能拿出来的成果都没有
No The only way you'd be able to save face is to double down
不能 你唯一保留颜面的方法就是再加一倍
So 140
所以就是1亿4千万
And then double again
然后还得再加倍
280
2亿8千万吗
And then good news not quite double again
然后有个好消息 再将近双倍一次
So uh what do you say
所以... 您怎么说
We have a deal
我们说好了吗
He said no
他拒绝了吗
No That's only a two letter word
"不要"只有两个字
You're gonna have to double down
你得再加倍
Well I'm sorry Sheldon but this sort of thing happens
我也很遗憾 谢尔顿 但这种事常有
Higgs had to wait almost 50 years
科学家希格斯等了足足50年
before they built a collider big enough to prove his theory
他们才终于建了一个大到足以证明他理论的对撞机
50 years
50年吗
But I want to play with it now
但我现在就想玩到它
You just have to wait for science to catch up
你得等等 等到科学够进步了
or technology to get cheaper
或者这科技技术变便宜了
Think about uh DVD players
你想想比如DVD播放器
they used to cost like a thousand dollars
以前一台要上千块钱
but just the other day I used one to smash a bug
但前几天我还用一台来砸扁虫子
Yeah you you just have to be patient
对 你得有耐心
But what if while I'm being patient
但要是我耐心等候时
someone more relentless than me
有比我更死缠烂打的人
badgers their university into giving them money
逼得他们大学给他们拨款了呢
If there's someone more relentless than you
如果有人比你更死缠烂打
I'd like to meet them
我还挺想会会他们
I would not
我不想
I'm not waiting for the university to come around
我不会坐等大学回心转意
I'll find another way to raise the money
我会另找法子筹款
Ooh if it's one of those booths where we can throw a pie at you
如果是可以朝你丢派的那种出气小房间
I'm in for like 20 bucks
我愿意奉献20大洋
40 bucks if I can throw a DVD player
如果我能朝你丢DVD机 我愿意出40
Would you like some champagne
二位想来杯香槟吗
Oh thank you
谢谢
Thanks ‭Sure
-谢谢 -不客气
This is nice
这挺不错的
What Helping Amy find a dress or day drinking
你是指帮艾米选婚纱还是白天买醉
It's just nice okay
反正就是不错 问个屁
What do you think
你们觉得怎么样
Amy oh my God
艾米 我的天啊
You look so beautiful
你看起来真美
I feel beautiful
我也觉得自己很美
And look both clavicles
你们瞧 两边锁骨都露了
Take that Mom
吃屎吧 老妈
You know what they say
你知道俗语说的好
if you got 'em flaunt 'em
有料不秀 天诛地灭
Is it possible that the very first dress is the dress
有没可能第一条就是最好的选择
Oh don't be silly
说什么傻话
You can't buy the first dress you try on
怎么能买你试穿的第一条裙子
That'd be like marrying the first guy that you
这就跟嫁给你第一个男...
You can't buy the first dress you try on
怎么能买你试穿的第一条裙子
Little finger sandwiches too This place is amazing
还有手指三明治 这地方棒极了
Interesting thing about finger sandwiches
手指三明治有意思的是
you put enough of them together
你把足够分量拼起来
you got a sandwich
就能得到一个完整的三明治
Uh guys we have a problem
姐妹们 有个问题
Are you okay What's wrong
-你没事吧 -怎么了
I look amazing in all of these dresses
我穿所有婚纱都美爆了
Wow Look at your waist
瞧瞧你的小蛮腰
Where you been hiding that thing
你之前都藏哪儿去了
Bernadette stop
伯纳黛特别说啦
Penny you say something nice now
佩妮 轮到你开始吹捧了
Boy you know when Sheldon sees you in that dress
天啊 谢尔顿看到你穿这条裙子后
he's gonna want to methodically take it off
一定会想井然有序地把裙子脱掉
fold it up carefully place it in a storage box
折好 小心放入储物盒
label it and then ravish you
贴好标签 然后尽情蹂躏你
Should I try on some more
我要不要再试几条
Are you having fun
你享受这过程吗
Am I having fun being beautiful
我享受这美绝人寰的过程吗
Of course I am
老娘当然享受
Great Keep going
太好了 继续
This is it
就是它了
This is the one
这就是命中注定的裙子
Do you love it
你们喜欢吗
Do you
你喜欢吗
I do
我超爱啊
Wow
Also wow
我也是 哇
Hello Leonard Hi
-你好 莱纳德 -嘿
Are you doing anything
你在忙吗
No I'm just sitting here at my desk
没有 我就坐在书桌前
typing on my computer for nothing
无目的地敲打电脑键盘
That was my guess but I didn't want to assume
我就是这么想的 但我不想想当然
Can you help me shoot my Kickstarter video
你能帮我拍摄众筹网站的短片吗
Do you really think people are gonna give you
你真觉得大家会给你
half a billion dollars
五亿美元吗
Of course not but if I can raise enough seed money
当然不是 但如果我能筹到足够的种子基金
to show that I'm serious
显示我是认真的
I should be able to attract some major investors
应该就能吸引到一些大款投资人
And look at the cool incentives I'm offering
快看看我提供的超酷奖励
"For $50 000 I will examine your diet
"捐5万 我就帮你检查饮食情况
and create a customized bathroom schedule "
为你量身定制如厕时间表"
That's fitting 50 grand down the toilet
挺合适的 5万丢进马桶冲走
Well how about this
这个怎么样
For $100 000 I will design the flag
捐10万 我就亲自为你家
of your house or apartment
设计一面旗帜
And for $1 million
还有 捐100万
I will come over and tell you what's wrong with you
我就莅临你家告诉你 你有什么毛病
Aw and all these years I've been getting that for free
这么多年来 我都免费"享受"这待遇
Don't be smug Leonard
别抖机灵 莱纳德
That's one of the things that's wrong with you
这正是你其中一种毛病
Well that was a successful trip
这趟行程收获颇丰
Yes
是啊
Amy found a dress that she liked
艾米找到了中意的裙子
She sure did
确实
She found a dress that looked like
她找到了一条看上去...
like it made her happy
让她快乐的裙子
She she did look happy
她确实看起来很快乐
I mean her face was just glowing so
她脸上洋溢着幸福的光彩
Yeah we should make sure the photographer knows
对 我们应该确保摄影师知道
to just really get in there
拍的时候... 尽量特写脸
So we agree it's awful
我们同意那裙子丑爆了对吧
That dress should be set on fire
那条裙子就该一把火给烧了
Should we say something
我们该说什么吗
No we can't
当然不能说
But don't you think she brought us with her
但她带我们一起去选裙子
'cause she wants our honest opinion
不就是想听我们诚实的意见吗
No one wants that
没人想听真话
I do
我就想啊
No ya don't
你才不想
I don't want her to look back
我不想她难看
and think she made some awful mistake
觉得自己犯了大错
You mean like your dumb Cookie Monster tattoo
你是说像你那个蠢兮兮的曲奇怪兽纹身一样吗
《芝麻街》中的角色
See Was that fun
看见没 这样好玩吗
Someone's gonna say something
总会有人说难听话
It should be us now instead of everyone at her wedding
与其让她在婚礼上出丑 不如我们现在告诉她
Okay but as long as we do it gently
好吧 但我们得委婉一点说
And together
还得一起说
Well what about my dress
我的裙子怎么了
Don't you like it
你们不喜欢吗
I don't ‭It's beautiful
-我不喜欢 -裙子太美了
Hey Stuart I'd like to sell some comic books
斯图尔特 我想卖些漫画
Oh Well I know all about that
这我太了解流程了
Step one is flunk out of art school
第一步是从被踢出艺校开始
Well why are you selling 'em
你为什么要卖漫画
The university is refusing to fund my experiment
大学拒绝给我的实验拨款
so I need to raise money and do it on my own
所以我需要筹钱自己做
Ah How much do you need
你需要多少钱
For a start I'm trying to raise $500 000
一开始我想先筹50万
Well I hope you have that rare Superman
那我希望你有那超稀有的
printed on the skin of actual Superman
印在真正超人皮肤上的《超人》
I know you're making a joke
我知道你在开玩笑
but I really do have some valuable issues in here
但我真的有不少期值钱的漫画
And this is just the first box of many
这还只是第一盒 后面陆续还有
All right let's see what you got
好吧 看看你这儿有什么
Huh Is this a complete run of Todd McFarlane's Spawn
这是整套托德·麦克法兰的《再生侠》吗
Yes
没错
Ooh look at this
瞧瞧这个
Giant Size X Men number one
《巨大X战警》第一期
Len Wein's relaunch of the franchise
当年莱恩·韦恩对《X战警》系列的承先启后之作
Yeah I know what it is I'm the one who bought it
我知道这是什么 是我亲手买来
bagged it boarded it and taped it shut
装入袋子 放好硬纸板 并用胶带封好的
while wearing white cotton gloves
而且全程戴着棉制白手套
Okay well you know
好吧 你知道的
I'm gonna have to open it to assess its condition
我需要打开看看它们是否完好
Just be gentle
温柔一点
It's never felt the touch of a man before
它们从来没有被别的男人碰过
You don't seem like you really want to sell these
感觉你并不愿意卖掉它们啊
Of course I don't want to sell these
我当然不想卖
These are all important to me
它们是我的珍宝
but not as important as science
但还是比不上科学
and if this is the sacrifice I need to make then so be it
若为科学故 珍宝亦可抛
Okay Uh why don't you leave these here with me
好吧 那就把它们留在这儿
and I'll I'll price 'em out for you
我帮你估个价
Is it okay if I stand here and watch
我能站在旁边看你弄吗
Sure
可以呀
If anyone asks tell them I was brave
如果之后有人问起 就说我很勇敢
Hey I can't believe you just threw me under the bus
你刚才就这么把我出卖了吗
I know right That was crazy
对啊 超不敢相信吧
Well
你...
Do you know how that makes me look
你这样害我成为什么人了啊
Uh that's an easy one bad ‭Well
这个简单 坏人
Why didn't you tell her that you didn't like the dress either
你为什么不告诉她你也不喜欢那裙子
I mean what happened to our united front
说好的姐妹一条心呢
I'm sorry Is this your first day being a girl
不好意思 你这是第一天当女人吗
Ooh did your mom pack your lunch
你妈给你做的午饭吗
Of course not
当然不是了
Do you know how much it costs to pack a tuna fish sandwich
你知道从德州连夜寄来干冰包装的
in dry ice and overnight it from Texas
金枪鱼三明治要多贵吗
Well I do and my mother says it's too expensive
反正我知道 我妈说太贵了
I like tuna fish
我喜欢金枪鱼
Do you want it I'll sell it to you for $5 000
那你想吃不 5000块卖给你
How's the fundraising going
你的募款进行得如何了
Oh that depends Raj was that a "Yes" ‭No
-看情况 拉杰 买吗 -不买
It's going badly
进行得不顺
How much have you raised
你现在募到多少钱了
Well with my Kickstarter campaign
众筹网的项目
selling my collectibles and the money in my bank account
卖掉收藏品的收入 和我的银行余额
about $65 000
差不多6万5千元
Wow That's a lot
已经很多了
Yeah not enough
还远远不够
It's so frustrating that science should be held hostage
真是闹心 科学竟然沦落为
to the almighty dollar
金钱的奴隶
Well don't give up You'll find that money somewhere
别放弃得太早 你总能找到钱的
You really think so No
-你真这么想吗 -才怪
but it's good that he has a hobby
但他现在有了个爱好是好事
You ever thought of going to Vegas
你考虑过维加斯吗
Can you be more specific
愿闻其详
Las Vegas
拉斯维加斯
Oh you mean gambling
你是说赌博呀
Oh Well that's not the worst idea
这个主意倒不坏
Um it is the worst idea and I'm including the year
这是最坏的主意了 就连拉杰
that Raj wore nothing but tracksuits
曾经穿了一年运动服都比这个主意好
Ordinary people can't beat a casino
普通人赢不了赌场
but mathematicians and scientists
但数学家和科学家
they do it all the time
常常是赌场赢家
Yeah a group of students
曾经有一群麻省理工的学生
from MIT took Las Vegas for millions and that's MIT
从赌城赢走了几千万 这还只是麻省理工呢
Howard went there
连霍华德都能读的学校
Come on Sheldon
来吧 谢尔顿
I'll give you a ride out to the desert right now
我立马就送你去沙漠
No one is going to Vegas
谁都不许去赌城
No we weren't gonna make it to Vegas
在到沙漠里的赌城前他就被我埋了
Hi Do you have a minute
你有空吗
Depends Is what I'm wearing okay
看情况 我穿这身还行吗
or should I go change first
是不是该去换身衣服呢
Look I'm sorry
我很抱歉
I never should have said I didn't like your dress
我不应该说不喜欢你的裙子
It's your wedding and all that matters is
那是你的婚礼 只要你觉得美丽
that you feel beautiful
就够了
Thank you
谢谢
So are are we good
那我们没事了吧
No we're not good
不 没事才怪
You ruined my dress
你毁了我的裙子
Well why I just said you should wear it
为什么 我都说了你可以穿
Well I can't wear it now I mean I know you hate it
我现在不能穿了 我知道你讨厌它
That's all I'm gonna be thinking about
这件事永远环绕在我脑海了
No I don't hate it
不 我没有讨厌它
I asked if you liked it and you said no
我问你喜欢吗 你说不
There is a lot of room between "don't like" and "hate "
不喜欢和讨厌之间还差了千八百里呢
You know it's it's where you find rice pudding and jazz
米布丁与爵士乐就在这之间
Anyway who cares what I think
再说 我的想法有啥所谓啊
I do You're the the coolest
对我有所谓 因为你是我生命中
prettiest best dressed person in my life
最酷 最漂亮 最会打扮的人
Okay that would be flattering
这话本来应该算夸到天上了
except I know all the people in your life
可惜我知道你身边都是些什么货色
Look Amy
听我说 艾米
I don't know what to say I think I got stuck on the fact
我不知道该说什么了 我可能是只想到
that it's not a dress I would choose but it shouldn't be
我自己不会选那条裙子 但不该是这样
You know it's your dress
因为那是你的裙子
I mean hey would you marry Leonard
比如 你会嫁给莱纳德吗
Ew
Okay a simple "no" would have been fine but
简单回答"不会"就可以了
you see my point
不过你懂我的意思吧
That we're different people
我们不一样
Yes and from now on I am gonna remember
没错 从现在开始 我要提醒自己
that this wedding is all about you
这场婚礼你才是主角
I appreciate that
谢谢
You're a good maid of honor
你真是一个好伴娘
It's Bernadette Hello
博纳黛特打来了 喂
I feel bad about hanging Penny out to dry
我觉得让佩妮背黑锅 于心有愧
The truth is I don't like the dress either
事实上 我也不喜欢那条裙子
Are you kidding me
你们在玩我吗
Now Bernadette doesn't like the dress
现在博纳黛特也不喜欢那裙子吗
Oh she is the worst
她最贱了
Anyone seen Sheldon
有人看到谢尔顿了吗
Last time I saw Sheldon was this morning
我最后一次看到他是今早
Careful Don't say his name a third time
小心 不要再念第三次他的名字了
就会把这个鬼给召唤来
美国都市传说 在镜子前喊"血腥玛丽"这名字三次
You don't think he actually went to Las Vegas do you
他不会真的去拉斯维加斯了吧
Five red
红色五号
This is it
时机已到
Is everything okay sir Oh Hi
-你还好吗 先生 -你好
It's better than okay
不能再好了
I am a physicist and I have been observing this wheel for hours
我是个物理学家 我观察这个轮盘好久了
and running a chi square analysis
并对它进行了卡方分析
which is how I know that the ball is far more likely
发现这个球极有可能会掉在
to land on 32 17 or five
32 17 和5的位置
So if you could hold off on replacing this wheel
希望您能暂时别更换轮盘
I'd like to make several large bets
我想要下几个大注了
Well good for you Pelican
很好 很好 鹈鹕
What's pelican
鹈鹕是什么
Sir would you come with us
先生 请跟我们来
Oh no I have to place my bet first This is for science
不 我还没下注了 我这是为了科学
17 black No No
-黑色17号 - 不 别啊
Oh guess who's no longer allowed to set foot in
猜猜谁终生不得再次踏入...
You look beautiful
你好美
Really
真的吗
'Cause I was gonna return it
因为我正打算退掉它
Why would you return it
为什么要退呢
You look like a pile of swans
你看起来美若一群天鹅
I'm so glad you like it
你能喜欢 我真开心
because it's gonna be my wedding dress
因为...这就是我的婚纱
I can't wait to marry you
我都等不及要娶你了
Why do you smell like smoke
你为什么一股烟味
I was in Vegas
我去维加斯了
Vegas
什么维加斯
I'm sorry Las Vegas
抱歉 是拉斯维加斯