生活大爆炸-S06E09_生活大爆炸

S01

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They are not

他们不一样

They are too

就一样

Your hypothesis is completely disconfirmed by all the data

种种数据显示你的假设完全不能成立

You're just clinging to it out of intellectual stubbornness

现在纯粹是你的智商在死鸭子嘴硬

No you're displaying a shocking ignorance

是你正表现出对谈话主题的

of the subject matter

高度无知

Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing

木乃伊与僵尸是一模一样的东西

Oh yeah

是吗

Mummies are wrapped in bandages

木乃伊全身裹着绷带呢

That's called a fashion choice

那是人家的时尚风格

All right you brought this on yourself

好吧是你自己自讨苦吃

Sheldon get him

谢尔顿说死丫的

If a zombie bites you

如果你被僵尸咬了

you turn into a zombie

你也会变为僵尸

However if a mummy bites you

但如果是木乃伊咬你

all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite

你只会变成有木乃伊咬痕的白痴

So like a zombie

所以你就像是个

that's been eaten from the waist down

被人啃掉下半身的僵尸一样

you sir have no leg to stand on

说的话完全"站不住脚"

Good boy Here's a cookie

真乖赏你个饼干

Oh thank you

谢谢

Hey fellas what's going on

大家伙在干嘛呢

Mummies and zombies again

又在辩木乃伊跟僵尸呢

Oh they're not the same thing

他们不一样好吗

You get a cookie too

也赏你个饼干

Thanks

谢谢

Guess who picked up his new car this morning

你们猜谁今早弄了台新车

Congratulations

恭喜你啊

Does it have that new car smell Yep

-里面有新车味吗 -有的

For as long as I can keep my mother out of it

只要不让我妈上车就有

If you want to check it out later

你们想看一下的话

it's parked right out front space 294

就停在外面哦 294号位

I'm sorry 294

等等 294号位吗

Yeah That's my parking spot

-是的 -那是我的停车位

Why do you have a parking spot

你怎么会有个停车位

You don't have a car You don't even drive

你都没车你连车都不开

It doesn't matter

那无关紧要

That's my spot

那停车位是我的

Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it

可能是看你从不停车就重分配给人了吧

Well I'm not using my nipples either

我也从不用我的乳头啊

Maybe they should reassign those

他们也要帮我重分配吗

Sheldon someday if you get a car

谢尔顿哪天你买车了

I'm sure they'll give you another parking space

他们肯定还会再给你个停车位的

I don't want another parking space

我不要别的停车位

I want my parking space

我要我那个停车位

It's perfect

那可是完美车位

It's a corner spot

那车位是在角落

cutting the risk of door dings in half

车门被旁车门撞凹的机率少了一半

It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance

而走到楼入口处也只需仅仅28步

The nearby tree provides shade on hot days

旁边的树能在热天提供遮阴

and is also home to a delightful squirrel

而且那树还是一只可爱小松鼠的家

Which is fortuitous

这很难得呢

because most squirrels are real jerks

毕竟大多数的松鼠都是讨厌鬼

Fun story

故事虽好

Meanwhile you still don't have a car

但你就是没车啊

Don't try to change the subject

别想转移话题

This is about a parking space

我们是在谈停车位

It has nothing to do with cars

跟有没有车毫无关系

Are you listening to yourself

你有听到你自己说的话了吗

I always listen to myself

我当然都有听啊

It's one of the great joys of my life

这是我人生中最美好的事之一呢

Now get your car out of my spot

快把你的车开离我的宝位

Nope

不要

Very well

你不仁

You leave me no choice

那就别怪我不义了

What are you looking at you stupid squirrel

看个屁啊你个白痴松鼠

第六季第九集

生活大爆炸

President Siebert listen to reason

塞伯特校长请听我的理由

Yeah I understand I don't use the parking spot

我知道我没有在使用那个停车位

but that's not the point I

但这不是重点我...

Yes I'm aware you told me not to call you at home

我知道你说过别打去你家

But you didn't answer the door

但这是因为你不应门啊

And I know you were there

我知道你在家

because I saw you through the mail slot

我当时从信件投递口看到你在里面了

Well that's some salty language

你这话够掉身份啊

May I remind you that you're the president of a major university

您别忘了您重点大学校长的身份啊

not the president of the Potty Mouth Club

而不是个脏话俱乐部的主席

There it is again

你又说

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth

你也是用那张嘴亲你母亲的吗

Oh well I'm sorry for your loss

好吧请节哀顺变

Oh Good night sir

晚安

Unbelievable

太扯了

He says Wolowitz deserves my spot

他说我的停车位给沃罗威茨不为过

because he's a high profile asset to the university

因为他是学校的重要资产

Well he's not wrong

他也没说错啊

Howard did go to the International Space Station

霍华德好歹也上过国际太空站了

Yeah that was five weeks ago

那都是五周前的事了

How much longer is he gonna milk that cow

他还想靠那件事占便宜多久啊

Sheldon let it go

算了啦谢尔顿

It's not a big deal

也不是什么大事

No no this is a slippery slope Leonard

莱纳德不反抗只会令他更予取予求

It starts with a parking space

先是占了我停车位

Where does it end

食髓知味了以后呢

It's like my dad always said

就像我爸说过的一样

"First they say you can't drink and drive

"一开始只说不能酒后开车

Next thing you know you can't let your 10 year old

才刚同意就立刻再进一步说

take the wheel while you sleep one off in the backseat "

不许让10岁儿子开车而自己去后座睡觉"

All that story does is make me feel bad for your mother

你这故事只让我更心疼你妈

Leonard you're my best friend

莱纳德你是我最好的朋友

Why don't you ever take my side

为什么你从不跟我同一阵线

Because I can never understand your side

因为我从没懂过你那阵线

Give it back

还我

I'm sorry

很抱歉

but could you be more specific

您是指...

My Iron Man helmet

我的钢铁侠头盔

Koothrappali saw you take it Give it back

库萨帕里看见你拿了还回来

Oh that

哦那个啊

Well see I wanted it

听我说这东西我想要

and you weren't using it

你又不用我就拿了

Apparently those are the rules we live by now

我们现在生活规则好像是这样哦

Payback

报复

it truly is the B word isn't it

还真是让人想骂脏话不是吗

Sheldon that is a $500 limited edition collectible

谢尔顿那可是价值500美元的限量珍藏品

and I want it back

快还给我

I'd love to help you out but unfortunately

我也想还给你但很遗憾的是

I'm using it

我在用呢

Fine

好吧

I'm taking your diploma

那我把你的学位证拿走

Go ahead

尽管拿

That's the only doctorate you'll ever get

你这辈子唯一"拿到"博士学位的机会哦

It smells funny in here

里面闻起来怪怪的

We're so proud of you Amy

我们真以你为傲艾米

Your first bikini wax Yeah

-你的初次比基尼蜜蜡脱毛呢 -对啊

So how you doing

感觉如何

A little sensitive but not bad

有点小敏感但还好

Does it always take that long

一般都需要这么长时间的吗

Uh no they usually don't have to go out and get more wax

不他们一般不需要跑去多拿点蜜蜡

I feel like I'm five pounds lighter

除完我感觉都轻了5磅

Really Only five

真的吗你确定只有5磅吗

Hey anybody want a drink

谁想来一杯

Okay Sure

-好的 -当然

So did you spend last night hearing

你昨晚是不是也得听他

about this silly parking space fight too

抱怨那场白痴的停车位大战

For hours

抱怨了好几小时

Fortunately I couldn't understand most of it

幸好因为谢尔顿戴着那个白痴面具

'cause Sheldon was wearing that stupid robot mask

他说的话我大部分都听不懂

Howard was so angry

霍华德气得要死

I had to mash up Benadryl in his ice cream

我不得不把过敏药混在他的冰淇淋里

一般小朋友吃了都会想睡觉

Benadryl是儿童抗过敏药

to get him to fall asleep

才能让他消停睡觉

I guess this is what we get

我猜这就是我们

for being with two testosterone fueled alpha males

跟两个荷尔蒙爆棚的雄性霸主在一起的后果

At some point

一山不容二虎

they're bound to lock horns

他们总有一天得角斗分生死

I'm assuming these are some kind of horns

我猜你说的"角" 是他们从动漫展

they bought at Comic Con

买的什么号"角"之类吧

I'm really sorry they took Sheldon's spot away

我很抱歉学校收回谢尔顿的车位

He shouldn't have to suffer

他不该因为霍华德

just because Howard's such a big deal now

现在是个大咖而蒙受苦难啊

I know Sheldon should just let Howard

是啊谢尔顿应该大度点

have his little moment in the sun

也让霍华德有一次受瞩目的短暂机会

What's that supposed to mean

你这话什么意思

Well Howard's never gonna go to space again

霍华德这辈子不会再上太空了

but Sheldon will always be a genius

但谢尔顿一辈子都会是个天才

You're right

有道理

And I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again

谢尔顿肯定有机会重获个好车位啊

if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science

假设他哪天真对科学做了有价值的贡献就行

If and when

假设与哪天吗

Okay maybe we should change the subject

好了或许我们该换个话题

Amy how are your lady parts

艾米你"小妹妹"那里感觉如何

Still chilly down there

还凉飕飕的吗

Hang on

打住

None of Sheldon's theories

谢尔顿所有的理论

have ever been definitively proven

都未获得最终证实

My husband actually went to outer space

而我的老公可是真正上过太空

That's an impressive accomplishment

那的确是一项令人赞叹的成就

He's now an inspiration to millions of Americans

他现在成功鼓舞了百万美国人

who know you don't have to be special

就算你不特别甚至不够格

or even qualified to go into space

也都可以登上外太空

You know I remember the first time I got a bikini wax

我还记得我第一次尝试比基尼脱毛

My sister did it with melted Crayolas and duct tape

我姐姐是用熔化的蜡笔和胶带帮我

It's a bad idea

那主意蠢透了...

Gosh Amy

天啊艾米

I'm sensing a little hostility

我感觉到了一丝敌意啊

Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work

是不是因为你们的性生活

your sex life is also theoretical

跟谢尔顿的研究一样纯属"理论"啊

Damn

毒啊

Yeah well at least when we do make love

是啊至少等我们开搞了后

Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother

谢尔顿脑子里不会想着他妈妈

And yes that is a cleverly veiled reference

没错我就是在明嘲暗讽

to Howard's lifelong obsession

霍华德他这辈子痴迷着想

to crawl back into her spacious womb

爬回他妈宽敞无比的子宫的心里

Anyway to this day I still can't see

时至今日我一看见蜡笔

a box of crayons without crossing my legs

还是会吓得赶紧夹紧双腿

I don't have to take this

我没必要听你冷嘲热讽

I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband right now

老娘现在就回家跟我的老公做爱

Maybe I'll let him do it to me in the parking spot

可能还让他干我"停车位"呢

Which sounds dirty but I didn't mean it that way

虽然听起来很淫荡但我不是那个意思

Okay here's another one

好吧另外一个问题

If a zombie bites a vampire

如果僵尸咬了吸血鬼

and the vampire bites a human

然后吸血鬼咬了人类

does the human become a vampire or a zombie

那那个人类会变成吸血鬼还是僵尸

Or a zompire

或是僵血鬼

Sheldon

谢尔顿

饼干拿来

I don't have any

我没有

Well I'm not giving it away

我才不无偿帮你

Hi Sheldon

你好呀谢尔顿

He's in my spot

他坐在我的专位上

Leonard make him stop being naked in my spot

莱纳德让他别裸体坐在我的专位上

Howard what are you doing

霍华德你这是干嘛

He wasn't using it

他又没在坐

And I needed a nice cool piece of leather

而我刚好需要一块冰凉的皮革

to wiggle my naked ass on

来[摩]擦我的光屁屁

Get off there

快滚开

Give me back my Iron Man helmet

把我的钢铁侠头盔还给我

Give me back my parking space

把我的停车位还给我

You don't need a parking space

你又不需要停车位

You don't have a car

你连车都没有

You don't need an Iron Man helmet

你又不需要钢铁侠头盔

You're not Iron Man

你又不是钢铁侠

Well we appear to have reached an impasse

看来我们陷入僵局了

And you know I have to say I thought

不过我得说我原以为

you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk

把你笔记本放我的大雕上你会更生气呢

I didn't pick up on that That's a nice touch

我刚还没发现这招不赖啊

霍华德·沃罗威茨

This is so exciting

人家好激动

I'm feeling all tingly

都感觉有点刺痛了

Although that could just be

但也有可能是因为

my newly defoliated bikini zone

我才把比基尼部位除了毛哦

Keep a lookout

把好风

This place is swarming with campus security

这地方有一大堆校园保安

They will not hesitate to scold us

他们会骂死我们的

Freaking pigs

死猪头

谢尔顿·库珀

Oh yeah

爽啊

Okay now

好的现在

pull your car into the spot and let's get out of here

把你的车开进来我们就可以走人了

Wait I'm leaving my car here

等等我得把车留在这里吗

Yes and be sure and put on the emergency brake

对记得拉手刹

Really makes these things tough to budge

这样要拖走你车都得废很大劲

Before I park come in the backseat

在我停车以前你到后座来一下

I want to show you something I had done today

我给你看看我今天做的事

All right color me intrigued

好啊我都好奇起来了

What do you think

你觉得怎么样

I think you're high on paint fumes

你喷漆味吸高嗨过头了吧

And boy that's a lot of Band Aids

老天好多创口贴啊

Okay Howard's mother is in like every one of your wedding photos

你每一张结婚照里都有霍华德的妈妈

What can I tell ya She's a big girl

我能说什么呢她可是"大"姑娘

Wherever you look there she is

不管看哪她都赫然在目

More coffee

再来点咖啡吗

No Leonard's taking me to a physics lecture

不了莱纳德要带我去听物理讲座

and coffee'll just keep me awake

咖啡会害让我睡不着

Oh I'll get it

我去开门

Oh looks like someone's on Team Bernadette

看来某人和伯纳黛特是一队的啊

Where's Howard

霍华德在哪

He's not here What's wrong

他不在怎么了

He had my car towed

他让我的车被拖走了

It cost me $200 to get it back

花了我200美元才弄回来

Oh no

这么惨啊

Where was it parked

车本来在哪停着的呢

In Sheldon's spot

在谢尔顿的停车位

That doesn't make sense Sheldon doesn't have a spot

不对啊谢尔顿没有车位

Was it maybe in Howard's spot

是不是在霍华德的车位呀

Don't play dumb with me sister

别装傻了丫头

You tell your husband he owes me $200

告诉你丈夫他欠我200块

Well that doesn't make sense either

这也说不通啊

Why not

怎么会

Because I'm the one who had it towed

因为车是我拖走的

You

你

Didn't see that one coming did ya

没想到姐这招吧

Oh yeah

是吗

Well you're not gonna see this coming

那你想得到姐这招吗

Oh my God are you okay

天啊你没事吧

What the hell do you have in there

你包里装了什么鬼东西啊

Just my wallet keys and a coffee can full of change

只有钱包钥匙和一个装满硬币的咖啡罐

I've been meaning to take to the bank

我正准备到银行存呢

Don't move I'll get some ice

别动我去拿点冰块

Are you okay

你没事吧

Get away from me or I swear to God

离我远点不然我发誓

I will rip out what's left of your pubes

我会把你"那块"撕烂

Here Thanks Ah

-给 -谢谢

Amy you think maybe this has gotten a little out of hand

艾米你不觉得这事有点失控吗

Gee you think

老天你才觉得吗

I do

确实

Penny Bernadette and I are sorry

佩妮我和伯纳黛特很抱歉

You hit her What did I do

打她的是你我做啥了

You had my car towed

你拖走了我的车

You were parked in Howard's spot

谁叫你在霍华德的车位停车的

I was parked in Sheldon's spot

我是停在谢尔顿的车位上的

Sheldon doesn't have a spot

谢尔顿根本就没有车位

Guys I think I need to go to the emergency room

姑娘们我觉得我得去趟急救室

Okay let's go I'll drive

-好我们走 -我来开车

You can see where the tow truck scratched my car

你可以看看拖吊车把我的车刮成什么样了

The tow truck didn't scratch your car

拖吊车根本没刮到你的车

How do you know 'Cause I did it

-你怎么知道 -因为是老娘亲自拖的

Morning Professor Stevens

早啊史蒂文斯教授

Don't look at that whiteboard

别盯着白板看

That's my math not your math

那是我的数学公式不关你的事

Keep walking nosey

继续走你的路事儿妈

What the hell are you doing

你又搞什么鬼呢

You said I'm not using my space so

你说我没有使用我的车位所以

I'm using it

我正在使用

Okay you need to move now

你得闪边了

No I don't

才不

You can't stay there forever

你总不可能一直占着那里吧

Actually I have a plastic baggy strapped to my leg that says I can

事实上我腿上绑的塑"尿"袋说是可能的

Give up Wolowitz

放弃吧沃罗威茨

You've chosen to tangle with a superior intellect you can't defeat

你的对手比你足智多谋你赢不了的

There is nothing you could possibly do to

你没有任何招能...

Those aren't gonna help you Sheldon

那玩意没用的谢尔顿

Oh yes they are

作用可大了

I mean what

不你说啥来着

I'm warning you Sheldon

我警告你谢尔顿

Your threats are empty

你吓唬谁啊

Nothing can move me

我是赶不走的

Stop that

快住手

Get out of my spot

滚出我的车位

That's it

够了

I am calling campus security

我要叫保安了

You prepare for the scolding of your life

你准备好被骂得狗血淋头吧

What are you idiots doing

你们两个蠢货干嘛呢

He's trying to kill me Leonard

他要谋杀我莱纳德

Video games and rock music

电玩游戏与摇滚乐

have desensitized him to violence

令他变得对暴力麻木不仁

Would you please talk some sense

拜托你好好劝几句

into your lunatic roommate

你的疯子室友行吗

You're both acting like lunatics

你俩都像疯子似的

It's just a parking spot It's not just a parking spot

-一个停车位而已 -不仅仅是停车位

He can't handle the fact that

他无法接受现在

I'm a bigger deal than he is now

我比他还大咖的事实

Oh preposterous

真是荒谬

I have been solely responsible

我全权负责

for this university's six loop quantum gravity calculations

这间大学的六回圈量子引力计算

I have changed the way we think

我改变了世人

about Bose Einstein condensates

对玻色-爱因斯坦凝聚体的想法

and I am also the one who got Nutter Butters

而且是我让咱学校的食堂贩卖机

in the cafeteria vending machine

出售花生酱三明治饼

Maybe you missed that news while you were

也许你不知道这些

floating around like a goof in outer space

因为当时你像个傻子一样在太空里瞎飘

Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do

恕我失陪我要工作了

Can you believe this guy

你相信他说的是人话吗

What I don't believe is that you tried to run him over

我不相信你居然想碾死他

Oh like you've never thought of doing that

别装得好像你没想过这么做一样

Don't hate me just because I lived the dream

别因为我实现梦想而恨我

Hey Sweet ride

嘿真是辆好车哦

What are you doing in there

你在车里干什么

Just breaking in your new car

闯入你的新车玩玩啊

Stop that You stop that

别这样快住手

You know what they say

知道常言怎么说吗

Revenge is a dish best served nude

君子报仇裸着才完

Hey got a minute

有时间吗

Oh of course come in

当然请进

This is an authentic Chinese throwing star

这是枚货真价实的中国飞镖

and I must warn you

我得警告你

I have seen many people throw them in movies

我在电影里见过很多人扔这个

Calm down

冷静

Howard has something he wants to say to you

霍华德有话跟你说

All right

好了

Sheldon when this whole thing with the parking space started

谢尔顿这场停车位之战开始后

I had no idea just how much of a crazy bastard

我不知道你是个如此疯狂的混...

Howard

霍华德

that's not how we practiced it

跟着练习时的剧本走

I had no idea how much that spot meant to you

我不知道那个停车位对你来说这么重要

Anyway I called President Siebert

总之我打了电话给塞伯特校长

and told him it's not worth fighting over the spot

我跟他说争停车位不值得

so you keep it and I'll park

你留着吧我就停在

in the structure across the street

街对面的停车场好了

Well Howard thank you

霍华德谢谢你

It's quite a gesture on your part

你这样做很有风度

You've shown yourself to be the bigger man

你证明了你是豁然大度的汉子

Thank you

谢谢

Which I find totally unacceptable

我完全不能接受这结果

I must be the bigger man

我一定得比人大度才行

Therefore you may use my spot until such time

因此你可以用我的停车位直到

as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile

我学会开车或是有了蝙蝠车

Wow okay

好的

Well thanks

谢谢

I don't know what to say

我不知道说什么好了

There is nothing to say

没什么好说的

Except I'm the bigger man

除了"你才是大度真汉子"

I'm not kidding Say it

我没开玩笑快说

Just say it

说吧

You're the bigger man Sheldon

你才是大度真汉子谢尔顿

Oh stop

少来了

And I believe this is yours

我相信这个是你的

FYI if you wear that into a bank

告诉你如果戴着这个进银行

they will tackle you to the ground

保安会把你摁倒在地

I'd like to propose a toast

大家来干一杯吧

to burying the hatchet

敬恩怨一笔勾销

To burying the hatchet

敬恩怨一笔勾销

You know I'm kind of glad this happened

我有点开心发生这样的事

Me too

我也是

In some weird way I kind of feel like it brought us closer

虽说有些怪异但我感觉让我们更亲近了

Yeah everybody's happy Great

皆大欢喜好耶

Can I help you

有什么可以效劳的

Yes According to information

是的根据我从商户点评网上

I gleaned from Yelp

了解到的信息

you had great success when a santeriasuzy37

网友圣塔拉苏茜37

brought you a pair of leather slacks

拿来沾有鸡血的皮裤

stained with chicken blood

而你成功处理了

I believe I may have a similar problem

我可能有着同样棘手的问题

This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle

这张座垫经历了复仇裸蹭

A what

什么

A naked man sat on it

一个裸男坐在了上面

Now here's my concern

我担心的问题是

His diet is rich in fatty deli meats

他的饮食成分富含脂肪过多的肉食

What test do you have to detect lipid residue

你这里有哪些脂质残留的检验测试呢

Lipid what

什么脂质

Lipid residue

脂质残留

An anal autograph

亲屁签名

A colon calling card if you will

叫结肠名片也行

Tuesday okay

周二拿行吗

Don't rush it

慢慢来好好弄

We may be dealing with befoulment

玷污程度可能已经达到

on a molecular level

分子级别了

Let me write you a ticket

我给你开取货单

Is that your son

那是你儿子吗

Looks like that laptop's seen better days

看起来那个笔记本已经用了一段时日了

If you're interested I'm selling this

有兴趣的话我在出售这个

It's only two years old

只用了两年

16 gigabytes of RAM

16G内存

Intel core i7 processor

英特尔芯片 I7处理器

and I can personally guarantee

而且我可以担保

it has spent less than 20 minutes resting on

它放在一名男性宇航员性器官上的时间

an astronaut's penis

少于20分钟