生活大爆炸-S11E16_生活大爆炸

S01

Howie Howie wake up.

华仔华仔醒醒

It's time.

时候到了

Oh. Did your water break

你羊水破了吗

No.

没有

Are you feeling any contractions

开始宫锁了吗

No.

没有

Wait. Well where are you going

等等那你要去哪里呢

To the hospital.

去医院啊

Today's my due date and this crap needs to end now.

今天是预产日我想赶紧解决这破事

Honey babies don't always come on their due date.

亲爱的孩子不一定会在预产日出生

Halley was two weeks late.

哈雷就晚了两周啊

But this baby's a boy.

不过这孩子是男孩

They don't take as long to get ready.

男孩"出门"通常不需要准备那么久

What are you doing

你在干嘛

I'm making the situation better with humor.

我在用幽默缓解情况啊

Are you

有缓解到吗

Would you rather me make it better with magic

那你要我用变魔术来缓解吗

Go back to sleep. Ta da

-睡觉吧 -我变

You know I hear that sex can induce labor.

对了我听说做爱能诱发分娩

Anything for my family.

为了家庭我愿付出一切

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

宇宙一度又烫又稠密

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait

140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool

地球开始降温

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

自养生物来起哄穴居人发明工具

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

我们建长城我们建金字塔

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

数学自然科学历史揭开神秘

That all started with a big bang

一切由大爆炸开始

大

爆

炸

第十一季第十六集

生

活

Bang

By aBu 20180323

I believe today is Bernadette's due date.

我知道今天是伯纳黛特的预产日

How do you know that

你怎么知道

Easy. 40 weeks from the date of her last period.

简单她最后一次月经的40周后

And why do you know that

那你怎么会知道她经期

Well excuse me for taking an interest in people.

我关心别人是我的错 "抱歉"啊

So any day now.

随时都可能出生

Oh I don't know.

我也不知道了

We went to the doctor this morning

今早去看了医生

and she said it could still be another week or two.

医生说可能还得等一两周

How's Bernadette holding up

伯纳黛特还坚持得住吗

It's pretty rough.

还挺难的

She's having a hard time.

她很难受

Why are you smiling

那你为什么在笑

I had sex twice last night.

我昨晚做了两次爱

That's not fair She's on bed rest.

你这样是不对的人家在卧床休养

She can't run away.

没办法逃走

It was her idea.

是她提议的

She read that it can start labor.

她在哪读到性爱可以诱发分娩

Is that true

这是真的吗

Well I would have Googled it

我本来也想上网搜搜

but I was busy taking my pants off.

但我的手忙着脱裤子

Yeah not to brag but Amy's last birthday

我没有要炫耀但艾米上次生日

brought my coital tally up to four.

让我跟她的交媾次数达到了四次

Whatever you're doing it's not bragging.

我能确定你这个绝对不是炫耀

Hey guys. Hey.

-各位好 -你好啊

Hey I was just talking about you.

你来啦我刚才正聊到你呢

Oh should I ask You should not.

-我该问聊什么吗 -万万不该

I'm trying to get our grant proposal together.

我想要把我们的拨款提案给写完

Any chance you've finished up those mechanical drawings

你把那些机械制图弄完了吗

Oh sorry. I was gonna do it last night

抱歉我本来昨晚应该画完的

but I got kind of busy.

结果有事情耽搁了

Yeah you did.

是啊有"事情"

What are they talking about

他们在说什么

I'll give you a hint.

我给你个提示

It's something that we have done four times.

是某件我跟你做过四次的事

Watched La La Land

看爱情歌舞片《爱乐之城》吗

What No. No.

什么没有才没有

I've not watched La La Land four times.

我才没有看四遍《爱乐之城》

If you find the soundtrack on my phone

如果你们在我手机上发现它的原声带

that's just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked.

那只是因为我跟艾米的下载账号相关联

Looks like I might have a little more time

貌似在孩子出生前

before the baby gets here

我应该还有点空闲时间

so why don't we just stay late and get it done

要不我们挑灯夜战做完它吧

Well I don't want you to leave Bernadette alone.

可我也不想你丢下伯纳黛特一个人啊

Oh we can hang out and keep her company.

我们可以去她家陪她啊

Yeah absolutely. See see. Look at my Netflix queue.

-对啊 -看啊看我的线上视频待看列表

There's two documentaries

两部纪录片

and the movie Friends with Benefits

还有电影《朋友也上床》[朋友有福利]

which I thought was a documentary

我本来以为这也是纪录片

about employer health care plans.

讲雇主提供健康保险

Hey Bernie it's me.

妮妮是我

I let myself in.

我自己开门进来啦

Hey.

你来啦

What are you doing

你这是在干嘛

I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest.

你不是应该卧床休养吗

That's done but I've been on stair rest

是啊但我已经在这楼梯上

for the last 45 minutes.

楼梯休养了足足45分钟了

Here let me help you. Yeah.

来我扶你起来

If you really want to help put on a rubber glove

你要是真想帮忙我就带上橡胶手套

reach on up there and start pulling.

手伸进来帮我把小孩拉出来

I know you're joking but I grew up on a farm.

我知道你是在开玩笑但我在农场长大

I'll do it.

我真敢帮你

Oh I just want this to be over.

我就想赶紧生了了事

You know when my yoga instructor was pregnant

我的瑜伽老师怀孕的时候

she told me there are tons of poses

她说有很多姿势

that put her right into labor.

帮助她开始分娩

I'll try

我乐意一试

but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess.

但感觉就是柔软"姿势"害我走到这一步

Okay we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises.

我们先从平和的呼吸运动开始

Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.

抱歉我满脑子都在想你的肚子有多平坦

Oh thank you.

谢谢夸奖

Go put on some more clothes you bitch.

去多穿点衣服你个贱人

Okay we go down...

好的我们蹲下去

and back up.

再站起来

And back up

再站起来

Yeah hearing you is not the problem.

我有障碍的又不是听力

Put that phone away

不许拍

Smile.

笑一个

I'm telling you there's an acupressure point

相信我有一个穴道[三阴交穴]

right above your ankle that can induce contractions.

就在你的脚踝上方能帮助诱发宫缩

All right but just a warning.

行吧但我警告你一下

My feet are a little swollen.

我的脚有点水肿

Oh please Bernadette.

没事啦伯纳黛特

I'm sure this okay.

我敢肯定... 哎妈

What

怎么了

Nothing. Your ankles look fine and not at all

没什么你的脚踝很正常啊一点都不像

like I just popped open a can of crescent rolls.

我刚打开了一盒羊角包的面团

My mother believes that if you're not prepared mentally

我母亲相信如果你精神上没准备好

it can delay your body from going into labor.

有可能会影响你的身体推迟开始分娩

So what are you trying to say It's my fault

所以你的意思是什么这是我自己的错吗

Raj is crazy.

拉杰神经病啊

Your ankles aren't that gross.

你的脚踝才没那么恶心

Hello.

你好啊

Let me guess. You're here to try to get me to go into labor.

让我猜猜你也是来帮忙催生的

Oh please. I'm disgusted when people sneeze

怎么可能我连别人打喷嚏都恶心

and that's just stuff coming out of their nose.

那还只是他们鼻子有东西跑出来

No.

不是的

I am here to sit with you and keep you company.

我只是来坐在你身旁陪着你而已

Oh that's nice.

那真好

Yeah by playing the most complicated board game

陪伴的方式是跟你玩一个桌游史上

ever invented Campaign for North Africa.

最复杂的一款游戏《北美战役》

I bought it off eBay.

我从网上买的

It smells a little like chili but all the pieces are there.

味道闻起来像辣椒不过所有的配件都齐全

Come on baby.

快出生吧宝贝

Get out here right now and I'll buy you a pony.

现在快出生救老妈我就给你买小马

Are there any engineers on the grant committee

拨款委员会里有人是工程师吗

I don't know. Why

我不知道啊为什么

I didn't have time to figure out

我没有时间去想出

the three input hydraulic manifold

三轮入加液压系统分路阀箱

so this diagram is really just a flux capacitor

所以这个图其实只是个通量电容器

from Back to the Future.

源自电影《回到未来》

I'm sorry this is on such short notice.

抱歉这么急着要

Hey I just wish I could be there when you present it.

我只是希望你发表的时候我能去陪你呢

That's okay.

没事的

It's more important that you spend time with Michael.

你花时间陪麦克才是正经事

Who's Michael

谁是麦克

Uh your son

你儿子啊

No it's not.

什么才不是

My son doesn't have a name yet.

我儿子还没取名呢

Okay well then Bernadette's son.

好吧那就是伯纳黛特的儿子

I can't believe her.

我真是要气死

She knows I don't want to name the baby after her dad.

她明知道我不想要孩子取她爸爸的名字

What did you want to name him I don't know.

-那你想取什么名字 -我不知道啊

We were gonna wait until we saw what he looked like.

我们本来想等到看他长什么样子再决定

Well it's a baby.

皱巴巴的光头婴儿

Her dad's a wrinkly bald man.

她老爸也是满脸皱纹的光头佬

That wasn't gonna break your way.

你就算等也杀不出条血路啊

Ah come on

我靠

Welcome to the next five to eight weeks of your life.

跟你接下来五到八周的人生问好

Sheldon I said I didn't want to play your game.

谢尔顿我说了我不想玩你的游戏

Well then don't think of it as a game.

那你就别把它想成是游戏

Think of it as a source of information

把它想成是在传授你有关

about one of the lesser known campaigns of World War II.

二战中一场较不为人熟悉的战役的知识

You're right.

你说得对

That's so much better.

还真是"好"了许多

I know right

是啊我说的没错吧

Okay first we need to roll to determine the weather.

首先我们得先来摇骰子决定天气

It's a desert. Isn't it gonna be hot

是沙漠天气不应该就是炎热吗

Yes.

是的

Michael Really you think we're naming him Michael

麦克是吗你觉得我们要把孩子取麦克吗

Not now Howard.

之后再谈霍华德

I'm in the middle of a game.

我在游戏中呢

You wish. You are hundreds of hours away from the middle.

你想得美我们离游戏中期还有几百小时呢

I can't believe you're trying to hijack our son's name.

我真没想到你居然想强取我们儿子的名字

Bernie

妮妮

This is as fast as I move Calm down

我最快只能走这么快冷静

So you're just gonna name him Michael

你就打算直接就取麦克吗

Were you even gonna tell me

你打算什么时候告诉我

I told you.

我跟你说过了

When

什么时候

Oh right. That was Amy.

好啦我是跟艾米说过

What's wrong with Michael It's my dad's name.

取麦克哪里不好了是我爸的名字

I don't want to name our son after your father.

我不想我们孩子以你爸爸为名

I didn't want to say this but he's dying.

我本来不想说但我爸要去世了

He is

真的吗

Eventually. I mean you see the way the man eats.

总有一天啊你看看他的饮食习惯

Okay is this the hormones

所以是荷尔蒙作祟

or have you always been a lunatic

还是你其实一直都是神经病

I don't even know anymore.

我也说不准了

Bernie this is our kid's name.

妮妮这是我们孩子的名字

I think we should both agree.

我们应该双方都同意吧

You're right. We both made this baby.

是啦我们一起造的孩子

Thank you.

谢谢理解

And I carried it had to stay in bed for four months

而我怀着他为他卧床休养四个月

sacrificed my body and my job

牺牲我的身体与工作

and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me

而且他很快就要从我下面破"门"而出

like the Kool Aid Man.

就像广告里破墙的小人一样

Exactly. Fifty fifty.

对啊苦劳一人一半

I think I got Bernadette in trouble.

我好像害伯纳黛特有麻烦了

Maybe we should go.

或许我们该走了

I I can't.

我不能走

She and I are playing Campaign for North Africa.

我跟她在玩《北美战役》呢

She doesn't want to play that. Hmm

她都不想玩这游戏

Neither did the Egyptians but that didn't stop Rommel.

当年埃及人也不想但名将隆美尔还是入侵了啊

Hey I brought Chinese.

我带中餐[中国人]来了

And I brought Indian.

而我带印度人来了

What are you guys doing here

你们来干嘛呀

Sheldon texted and said

谢尔顿发短信来说

Bernadette wanted us all to come over.

博纳黛特叫我们一起过来

The game's best with five to ten players.

这游戏最适合5到10个玩家一起玩

Okay if it's not Michael then what do you want to name him

如果不叫麦克那你想取什么名字

Harry like Potter or Houdini.

哈里就像波特或者胡迪尼[魔术大师]的名字

It doesn't bother you that I have an old boyfriend named Harry

我以前有个男朋友就叫哈里你不介意吧

Okay.

好吧

How 'bout Al or Max or...

艾尔或者马克斯如何...

Ted or Kevin

泰德或者凯文

Same answer.

都在此列

Hey Bernadette it's your turn.

博纳黛特该你了

Penny's air force

佩妮的空军

is strafing your supply line in Tobruk.

正在扫荡你位于托布鲁克的供应线

We're kind of busy.

我们正忙着呢

Oh. 'Kay. But you're being pretty rude.

好吧不过你也太没礼貌了

Everyone did come over to play this game with you.

大伙特地过来陪你一起玩桌游

You know I always thought Christian was a nice name.

我一直觉得克里斯提安[天主教徒]不错

I don't know.

我不知道

Sounds a little too uncircumcised.

一听就有没割包皮过的非犹太风

Bernadette it's your turn.

博纳黛特该你了

What about Greg

叫格雷格如何

All right I'll just roll for you.

算了我帮你掷骰子

Ooh That is a good one

哇这个不错

Your troops' morale rating is pretty high.

你部队的士气评分真是旺旺旺

Now Leonard as the defender

莱纳德作为守军

we need to subtract your morale rating

我们需要从伯纳黛特的士气评分中

from Bernadette's to get a final

减去你的士气评分

adjusted morale rating for the assault.

以获得本次袭击的最终士气评分

And I will just check the assault differential column.

然后我再检查一下袭击的微分塔式

Ooh Who said war was hell

哈哈谁说战争即是地狱来着

Yeah that's a rhetorical question.

我说的是个修辞问句

Sherman said it.

这句话是谢尔曼说的

威廉·谢尔曼美国内战时期联邦军著名将领

What about Sherman

叫谢尔曼如何

Like Sherman Wolowitz.

谢尔曼·沃罗威茨

Yeah that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom.

这孩子以后会带他妈去参加毕业舞会

Hey Howard you did that right

霍华德你不就带你妈去了吗

I didn't take her. She chaperoned.

不是我带她去她是来当监护人

We slow danced once.

我们只跳了一支慢舞

What about Paul

叫保罗如何

Paul. Paul Wolowitz.

帕罗帕罗·沃洛维茨

I like it.

我喜欢这个名字

Ooh like "Koothra paul I."

就像库萨"帕"里

Okay you ruined it.

你把这名字毁了

All right that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase.

现在我们进入战术运输阶段

Penny I believe as logistics commander that's you.

佩妮你是我们的后勤指挥官

Okay. I surrender.

好的我投降

Nice try Penny.

想得美佩妮

It takes more than everybody not enjoying it

但是想让谢尔顿·库珀终止游戏

to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper.

光靠所有人的厌恶是不够的

Sheldon we're talking about something important here.

谢尔顿我们正在讨论很重要的事

Fine.

好吧

If you pick a baby name can we get back to playing

如果你们选好了宝宝的名字我们可以继续玩吗

Sure.

好呀

All right here we go.

很好开始吧

Ranatanata.

罗纳塔娜塔

You can't name him Ranatanata.

你不能给他取名罗纳塔娜塔

Oh right it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous.

对哦这是男孩这名字不合适

What about Ozymandias

那就叫奥兹曼迪亚斯

Are you making these up or having a stroke

你是胡乱编的还是中风发作了呀

Ozymandias is from a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley.

奥兹曼迪亚斯来自于珀西·比希·雪莱的诗

Oh oh Bysshe Wolowitz.

有了比希·沃罗威茨

Solved. Back to the game.

解决了继续游戏吧

Heyo Sandstorm

呀呀沙尘暴

Some people name their kids after places.

有些人会以地名为孩子命名

Like what Walla Walla Wolowitz

比如瓦拉瓦拉·沃罗威茨

位于华盛顿州的城市

If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz

如果你觉得这比奥兹曼迪亚斯·沃罗威茨好

then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas

那你一定是吸多了由我的部队

that my troops illegally dispersed.

非法释放的有毒气体

You okay

你还好吧

Uh I think that was a contraction.

我好像开始宫缩了

Is it time Do we need to go to the hospital

快生了吗我们要去医院吗

No. We've been through this before.

不我们已经经历过这事了

My water hasn't even broken yet.

我的羊水还没有破呢

Never mind your water.

别管你的羊水了

Has your mucus plug popped out

你的宫颈粘液栓排出来了吗

在分娩开始时粘液栓可能会先行排出

Ew no

呕才没有呢

Oh you're right. We probably would've heard that.

你说得对如果排出来我们应该能听见

It's not a champagne cork.

粘液栓又不是香槟瓶栓

Although that would be festive.

当然那样的话也挺喜庆的

You know what maybe we should go.

我们还是先去医院吧

Did you have another contraction

你又感受到宫缩了吗

No. I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say

不我只是担心谢尔顿又要提到

"mucus plug" again.

"粘液栓"

And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye.

我还担心它会弹到我的眼睛上呢

Yep it's time.

该走了

Should we take two cars

我们是开两辆车去吗

Uh actually could you stay here and watch Halley

你们能留下来照顾哈雷吗

That way we don't have to wait for Bernadette's parents.

这样我们就不用等博纳黛特的父母了

Yeah you guys go. We'll take care of her.

你们走吧我们会照顾她的

You have nothing to worry about.

你们什么都别担心

Well not nothing. There are U boats approaching the Suez Canal.

那倒不尽然潜水艇正在驶近苏伊士运河

It's too late for us. Go go

我们逃不掉了你们快走吧

Save yourselves

赶紧逃命

Suez Birth It's a big night for canals.

苏伊士出生日运河今夜逢吉时

How you feeling

你还好吧

But I am really excited to meet our son.

但我好期待见到我们的儿子

Me too. I thought I'd be super freaked out.

我也是我以为自己会吓死

But I'm ready for this.

但我已经准备好了

Well not the part where you're in labor

除了你分娩时

and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue.

用力过猛把我的手指捏紫这部分

I'm sorry.

抱歉

That must be really painful for you.

你一定很痛吧

It is.

没错

I mean last time I...

你知道上次我都...

Okay

好吧

I see what you're doing.

我明白你的意思了

It's a big one.

这次宫缩好痛

Just breathe.

赶紧吸气

Okay.

好了

Okay I'm good.

好了没事了

I'm sorry I tried to sneak the name past you.

抱歉我想背着你偷偷取名字

That's okay.

没关系

I'm sorry I used up so many good names in college.

抱歉我上大学时"干"掉了太多的好名字

I was really competitive with my roommate.

我那时候很爱跟室友比较

Forget about it.

忘了这事吧

Please.

求求你

You know what maybe we're putting too much pressure on this.

也许我们把自己逼得太紧了

It doesn't matter what we name him.

不管我们给他取什么名字

He's gonna be amazing.

他都会是个棒小伙儿

You're right.

你说得对

This kid is part you and part me.

这孩子有你的一半有我的一半

Yeah. He's gonna be smart and kind and funny.

没错他一定会聪明善良又有趣

If he cracks five foot six it'll be a miracle.

如果他能超过1米67 那就是神迹了

I've always liked the name Elliott.

我一直很喜欢艾略特这个名

Sorry can't have it. That's my boy name.

抱歉不能用那是我儿子的名字

I said it first.

我先说的

It's not like calling dibs.

这又不是先喊先得

Yes it is. It's exactly like that.

这就是先喊先得

Dibs on Elliott.

艾略特是我的了

I I'm just saying we might get there first.

我只是说我们很有可能先用上

You only have sex once a year.

你俩一年才睡一次

I'll probably have sex tonight.

我有可能今晚就滚床单呢

Fine you can have Elliott.

好吧艾略特给你吧

When did you pick out our kids' names

你什么时候连我们孩子的名都想好了

Remember that day you moved into the building

还记得你搬进这大楼的那天吗

Yes.

记得呀

A non creepy amount of time after that.

相隔了一段不会吓到人的时间后想的

Yeah I like the name Elliott.

我喜欢艾略特这个名字

That wasn't on my list but I like it.

虽然不在我的备选名单上但我喜欢它

We've heard your names. They're ridiculous.

我们听过你的名字了全都荒诞至极

And I have a cousin named Dilip.

我叫地里扑的表亲都比那些强

Well I wasn't going to give them any of the good names.

我才不会把好名字告诉他们呢

I'm saving those for us.

我要留着自己用

Really You've thought about our kids

真的吗你还想过咱们孩子的名字

Of course. I think you and I will have exceptional children.

当然我俩一定会生出最出色的孩子

Well I think so too.

我也这么想

How many kids do you guys want

你俩想要几个孩子呀

Two. 15.

-两个 -十五个

What Don't worry.

-什么 -别担心

I don't expect you to bear them all.

我又不要求你一个人生完

I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent.

我们可以租用一个合适的子宫

No Uh uh

-才怪 -别想

We weren't thinking about you.

我们才没有指你呢

Of course not.

绝对没有

I am going to the kitchen.

我要去厨房了

Can I get anybody anything

要给你们带吃的吗

Penny nice glass of milk

佩妮来杯牛奶

and a multivitamin

再加多种维他命如何

Guys.

同志们

Guys wake up.

同志们快醒醒

Terrible news.

悲惨的消息

Oh my God. What what what

我的天怎么了

Is it the baby

是宝宝出事了吗

No. No no we miscalculated

不不是我们算错了

our unassigned armor class units.

尚未分配的装甲部队数

We need to start over.

我们得重新开始玩了

What

什么

Oh no no no not from the beginning.

不不是从头开始

Just from when the tanks started moving.

只是从坦克行动开始

That was five hours ago.

那已经是5小时之前的事了

Mm no. No that was two hours ago.

不那是2小时之前的事

It only feels like five.

只是感觉像过了5小时

What time is it

几点呢

It's almost 2 30.

快两点半了

Don't you think we should've heard something

你们不觉得他们该打电话来了吗

I'm sure they're fine.

我想他们没事的

I'm calling them.

我要打给他们

Hey everything okay

嘿你们还好吧

Yeah The baby was born about an hour ago.

很好宝宝大概一个小时前出生了

Dude why didn't you call me

老兄你为什么没打给我

The only way I would see my son for the first time

如果在见到我儿子的第一个瞬间

and immediately think "I need to call Raj"

我就想到"得给拉杰打电话"

is if he came out brown.

那一定是因为他是棕色皮肤

You know it can take some time for pigment to form.

色素形成是需要一些时间的

You're still not out of the woods.

你的警报还没有解除

Congratulations Yeah. Hey what'd you name him

-恭喜啦 -名字想好了吗

Neil Michael.

尼尔·麦克

Neil for Armstrong

取自于阿姆斯特朗[登月第一人]

Gaiman and Diamond.

盖曼[幻想小说家]和戴蒙德[著名歌手]

Michael because Bernie had to get six stitches.

叫麦克是因为妮妮那里得缝6针

Neil that's cute.

尼尔这名字好可爱

But we're calling him Michael

但是我们叫他麦克

I'm not gonna fight her.

我没法和她争

That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.

这孩子头大如瓜

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