生活大爆炸-S11E16_生活大爆炸

S01

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Howie Howie wake up

华仔华仔醒醒

It's time

时候到了

Oh Did your water break

你羊水破了吗

没有

Are you feeling any contractions

开始宫锁了吗

没有

Wait Well where are you going

等等那你要去哪里呢

To the hospital

去医院啊

Today's my due date and this crap needs to end now

今天是预产日我想赶紧解决这破事

Honey babies don't always come on their due date

亲爱的孩子不一定会在预产日出生

Halley was two weeks late

哈雷就晚了两周啊

But this baby's a boy

不过这孩子是男孩

They don't take as long to get ready

男孩"出门"通常不需要准备那么久

What are you doing

你在干嘛

I'm making the situation better with humor

我在用幽默缓解情况啊

Are you

有缓解到吗

Would you rather me make it better with magic

那你要我用变魔术来缓解吗

Go back to sleep Ta da

-睡觉吧 -我变

You know I hear that sex can induce labor

对了我听说做爱能诱发分娩

Anything for my family

为了家庭我愿付出一切

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

宇宙一度又烫又稠密

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait

140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool

地球开始降温

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

自养生物来起哄穴居人发明工具

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

我们建长城我们建金字塔

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

数学自然科学历史揭开神秘

That all started with a big bang

一切由大爆炸开始

大

爆

炸

第十一季第十六集

生

活

Bang

By aBu 20180323

I believe today is Bernadette's due date

我知道今天是伯纳黛特的预产日

How do you know that

你怎么知道

Easy 40 weeks from the date of her last period

简单她最后一次月经的40周后

And why do you know that

那你怎么会知道她经期

Well excuse me for taking an interest in people

我关心别人是我的错 "抱歉"啊

So any day now

随时都可能出生

Oh I don't know

我也不知道了

We went to the doctor this morning

今早去看了医生

and she said it could still be another week or two

医生说可能还得等一两周

How's Bernadette holding up

伯纳黛特还坚持得住吗

It's pretty rough

还挺难的

She's having a hard time

她很难受

Why are you smiling

那你为什么在笑

I had sex twice last night

我昨晚做了两次爱

That's not fair She's on bed rest

你这样是不对的人家在卧床休养

She can't run away

没办法逃走

It was her idea

是她提议的

She read that it can start labor

她在哪读到性爱可以诱发分娩

Is that true

这是真的吗

Well I would have Googled it

我本来也想上网搜搜

but I was busy taking my pants off

但我的手忙着脱裤子

Yeah not to brag but Amy's last birthday

我没有要炫耀但艾米上次生日

brought my coital tally up to four

让我跟她的交媾次数达到了四次

Whatever you're doing it's not bragging

我能确定你这个绝对不是炫耀

Hey guys Hey

-各位好 -你好啊

Hey I was just talking about you

你来啦我刚才正聊到你呢

Oh should I ask You should not

-我该问聊什么吗 -万万不该

I'm trying to get our grant proposal together

我想要把我们的拨款提案给写完

Any chance you've finished up those mechanical drawings

你把那些机械制图弄完了吗

Oh sorry I was gonna do it last night

抱歉我本来昨晚应该画完的

but I got kind of busy

结果有事情耽搁了

Yeah you did

是啊有"事情"

What are they talking about

他们在说什么

I'll give you a hint

我给你个提示

It's something that we have done four times

是某件我跟你做过四次的事

Watched La La Land

看爱情歌舞片《爱乐之城》吗

What No No

什么没有才没有

I've not watched La La Land four times

我才没有看四遍《爱乐之城》

If you find the soundtrack on my phone

如果你们在我手机上发现它的原声带

that's just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked

那只是因为我跟艾米的下载账号相关联

Looks like I might have a little more time

貌似在孩子出生前

before the baby gets here

我应该还有点空闲时间

so why don't we just stay late and get it done

要不我们挑灯夜战做完它吧

Well I don't want you to leave Bernadette alone

可我也不想你丢下伯纳黛特一个人啊

Oh we can hang out and keep her company

我们可以去她家陪她啊

Yeah absolutely See see Look at my Netflix queue

-对啊 -看啊看我的线上视频待看列表

There's two documentaries

两部纪录片

and the movie Friends with Benefits

还有电影《朋友也上床》[朋友有福利]

which I thought was a documentary

我本来以为这也是纪录片

about employer health care plans

讲雇主提供健康保险

Hey Bernie it's me

妮妮是我

I let myself in

我自己开门进来啦

Hey

你来啦

What are you doing

你这是在干嘛

I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest

你不是应该卧床休养吗

That's done but I've been on stair rest

是啊但我已经在这楼梯上

for the last 45 minutes

楼梯休养了足足45分钟了

Here let me help you Yeah

来我扶你起来

If you really want to help put on a rubber glove

你要是真想帮忙我就带上橡胶手套

reach on up there and start pulling

手伸进来帮我把小孩拉出来

I know you're joking but I grew up on a farm

我知道你是在开玩笑但我在农场长大

I'll do it

我真敢帮你

Oh I just want this to be over

我就想赶紧生了了事

You know when my yoga instructor was pregnant

我的瑜伽老师怀孕的时候

she told me there are tons of poses

她说有很多姿势

that put her right into labor

帮助她开始分娩

I'll try

我乐意一试

but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess

但感觉就是柔软"姿势"害我走到这一步

Okay we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises

我们先从平和的呼吸运动开始

Sorry I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is

抱歉我满脑子都在想你的肚子有多平坦

Oh thank you

谢谢夸奖

Go put on some more clothes you bitch

去多穿点衣服你个贱人

Okay we go down

好的我们蹲下去

and back up

再站起来

And back up

再站起来

Yeah hearing you is not the problem

我有障碍的又不是听力

Put that phone away

不许拍

Smile

笑一个

I'm telling you there's an acupressure point

相信我有一个穴道[三阴交穴]

right above your ankle that can induce contractions

就在你的脚踝上方能帮助诱发宫缩

All right but just a warning

行吧但我警告你一下

My feet are a little swollen

我的脚有点水肿

Oh please Bernadette

没事啦伯纳黛特

I'm sure this okay

我敢肯定... 哎妈

What

怎么了

Nothing Your ankles look fine and not at all

没什么你的脚踝很正常啊一点都不像

like I just popped open a can of crescent rolls

我刚打开了一盒羊角包的面团

My mother believes that if you're not prepared mentally

我母亲相信如果你精神上没准备好

it can delay your body from going into labor

有可能会影响你的身体推迟开始分娩

So what are you trying to say It's my fault

所以你的意思是什么这是我自己的错吗

Raj is crazy

拉杰神经病啊

Your ankles aren't that gross

你的脚踝才没那么恶心

Hello

你好啊

Let me guess You're here to try to get me to go into labor

让我猜猜你也是来帮忙催生的

Oh please I'm disgusted when people sneeze

怎么可能我连别人打喷嚏都恶心

and that's just stuff coming out of their nose

那还只是他们鼻子有东西跑出来

不是的

I am here to sit with you and keep you company

我只是来坐在你身旁陪着你而已

Oh that's nice

那真好

Yeah by playing the most complicated board game

陪伴的方式是跟你玩一个桌游史上

ever invented Campaign for North Africa

最复杂的一款游戏《北美战役》

I bought it off eBay

我从网上买的

It smells a little like chili but all the pieces are there

味道闻起来像辣椒不过所有的配件都齐全

Come on baby

快出生吧宝贝

Get out here right now and I'll buy you a pony

现在快出生救老妈我就给你买小马

Are there any engineers on the grant committee

拨款委员会里有人是工程师吗

I don't know Why

我不知道啊为什么

I didn't have time to figure out

我没有时间去想出

the three input hydraulic manifold

三轮入加液压系统分路阀箱

so this diagram is really just a flux capacitor

所以这个图其实只是个通量电容器

from Back to the Future

源自电影《回到未来》

I'm sorry this is on such short notice

抱歉这么急着要

Hey I just wish I could be there when you present it

我只是希望你发表的时候我能去陪你呢

That's okay

没事的

It's more important that you spend time with Michael

你花时间陪麦克才是正经事

Who's Michael

谁是麦克

Uh your son

你儿子啊

No it's not

什么才不是

My son doesn't have a name yet

我儿子还没取名呢

Okay well then Bernadette's son

好吧那就是伯纳黛特的儿子

I can't believe her

我真是要气死

She knows I don't want to name the baby after her dad

她明知道我不想要孩子取她爸爸的名字

What did you want to name him I don't know

-那你想取什么名字 -我不知道啊

We were gonna wait until we saw what he looked like

我们本来想等到看他长什么样子再决定

Well it's a baby

皱巴巴的光头婴儿

Her dad's a wrinkly bald man

她老爸也是满脸皱纹的光头佬

That wasn't gonna break your way

你就算等也杀不出条血路啊

Ah come on

我靠

Welcome to the next five to eight weeks of your life

跟你接下来五到八周的人生问好

Sheldon I said I didn't want to play your game

谢尔顿我说了我不想玩你的游戏

Well then don't think of it as a game

那你就别把它想成是游戏

Think of it as a source of information

把它想成是在传授你有关

about one of the lesser known campaigns of World War II

二战中一场较不为人熟悉的战役的知识

You're right

你说得对

That's so much better

还真是"好"了许多

I know right

是啊我说的没错吧

Okay first we need to roll to determine the weather

首先我们得先来摇骰子决定天气

It's a desert Isn't it gonna be hot

是沙漠天气不应该就是炎热吗

Yes

是的

Michael Really you think we're naming him Michael

麦克是吗你觉得我们要把孩子取麦克吗

Not now Howard

之后再谈霍华德

I'm in the middle of a game

我在游戏中呢

You wish You are hundreds of hours away from the middle

你想得美我们离游戏中期还有几百小时呢

I can't believe you're trying to hijack our son's name

我真没想到你居然想强取我们儿子的名字

Bernie

妮妮

This is as fast as I move Calm down

我最快只能走这么快冷静

So you're just gonna name him Michael

你就打算直接就取麦克吗

Were you even gonna tell me

你打算什么时候告诉我

I told you

我跟你说过了

When

什么时候

Oh right That was Amy

好啦我是跟艾米说过

What's wrong with Michael It's my dad's name

取麦克哪里不好了是我爸的名字

I don't want to name our son after your father

我不想我们孩子以你爸爸为名

I didn't want to say this but he's dying

我本来不想说但我爸要去世了

He is

真的吗

Eventually I mean you see the way the man eats

总有一天啊你看看他的饮食习惯

Okay is this the hormones

所以是荷尔蒙作祟

or have you always been a lunatic

还是你其实一直都是神经病

I don't even know anymore

我也说不准了

Bernie this is our kid's name

妮妮这是我们孩子的名字

I think we should both agree

我们应该双方都同意吧

You're right We both made this baby

是啦我们一起造的孩子

Thank you

谢谢理解

And I carried it had to stay in bed for four months

而我怀着他为他卧床休养四个月

sacrificed my body and my job

牺牲我的身体与工作

and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me

而且他很快就要从我下面破"门"而出

like the Kool Aid Man

就像广告里破墙的小人一样

Exactly Fifty fifty

对啊苦劳一人一半

I think I got Bernadette in trouble

我好像害伯纳黛特有麻烦了

Maybe we should go

或许我们该走了

I I can't

我不能走

She and I are playing Campaign for North Africa

我跟她在玩《北美战役》呢

She doesn't want to play that Hmm

她都不想玩这游戏

Neither did the Egyptians but that didn't stop Rommel

当年埃及人也不想但名将隆美尔还是入侵了啊

Hey I brought Chinese

我带中餐[中国人]来了

And I brought Indian

而我带印度人来了

What are you guys doing here

你们来干嘛呀

Sheldon texted and said

谢尔顿发短信来说

Bernadette wanted us all to come over

博纳黛特叫我们一起过来

The game's best with five to ten players

这游戏最适合5到10个玩家一起玩

Okay if it's not Michael then what do you want to name him

如果不叫麦克那你想取什么名字

Harry like Potter or Houdini

哈里就像波特或者胡迪尼[魔术大师]的名字

It doesn't bother you that I have an old boyfriend named Harry

我以前有个男朋友就叫哈里你不介意吧

Okay

好吧

How 'bout Al or Max or

艾尔或者马克斯如何...

Ted or Kevin

泰德或者凯文

Same answer

都在此列

Hey Bernadette it's your turn

博纳黛特该你了

Penny's air force

佩妮的空军

is strafing your supply line in Tobruk

正在扫荡你位于托布鲁克的供应线

We're kind of busy

我们正忙着呢

Oh 'Kay But you're being pretty rude

好吧不过你也太没礼貌了

Everyone did come over to play this game with you

大伙特地过来陪你一起玩桌游

You know I always thought Christian was a nice name

我一直觉得克里斯提安[天主教徒]不错

I don't know

我不知道

Sounds a little too uncircumcised

一听就有没割包皮过的非犹太风

Bernadette it's your turn

博纳黛特该你了

What about Greg

叫格雷格如何

All right I'll just roll for you

算了我帮你掷骰子

Ooh That is a good one

哇这个不错

Your troops' morale rating is pretty high

你部队的士气评分真是旺旺旺

Now Leonard as the defender

莱纳德作为守军

we need to subtract your morale rating

我们需要从伯纳黛特的士气评分中

from Bernadette's to get a final

减去你的士气评分

adjusted morale rating for the assault

以获得本次袭击的最终士气评分

And I will just check the assault differential column

然后我再检查一下袭击的微分塔式

Ooh Who said war was hell

哈哈谁说战争即是地狱来着

Yeah that's a rhetorical question

我说的是个修辞问句

Sherman said it

这句话是谢尔曼说的

威廉·谢尔曼美国内战时期联邦军著名将领

What about Sherman

叫谢尔曼如何

Like Sherman Wolowitz

谢尔曼·沃罗威茨

Yeah that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom

这孩子以后会带他妈去参加毕业舞会

Hey Howard you did that right

霍华德你不就带你妈去了吗

I didn't take her She chaperoned

不是我带她去她是来当监护人

We slow danced once

我们只跳了一支慢舞

What about Paul

叫保罗如何

Paul Paul Wolowitz

帕罗帕罗·沃洛维茨

I like it

我喜欢这个名字

Ooh like "Koothra paul I "

就像库萨"帕"里

Okay you ruined it

你把这名字毁了

All right that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase

现在我们进入战术运输阶段

Penny I believe as logistics commander that's you

佩妮你是我们的后勤指挥官

Okay I surrender

好的我投降

Nice try Penny

想得美佩妮

It takes more than everybody not enjoying it

但是想让谢尔顿·库珀终止游戏

to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper

光靠所有人的厌恶是不够的

Sheldon we're talking about something important here

谢尔顿我们正在讨论很重要的事

Fine

好吧

If you pick a baby name can we get back to playing

如果你们选好了宝宝的名字我们可以继续玩吗

Sure

好呀

All right here we go

很好开始吧

Ranatanata

罗纳塔娜塔

You can't name him Ranatanata

你不能给他取名罗纳塔娜塔

Oh right it's a boy That'd be ridiculous

对哦这是男孩这名字不合适

What about Ozymandias

那就叫奥兹曼迪亚斯

Are you making these up or having a stroke

你是胡乱编的还是中风发作了呀

Ozymandias is from a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley

奥兹曼迪亚斯来自于珀西·比希·雪莱的诗

Oh oh Bysshe Wolowitz

有了比希·沃罗威茨

Solved Back to the game

解决了继续游戏吧

Heyo Sandstorm

呀呀沙尘暴

Some people name their kids after places

有些人会以地名为孩子命名

Like what Walla Walla Wolowitz

比如瓦拉瓦拉·沃罗威茨

位于华盛顿州的城市

If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz

如果你觉得这比奥兹曼迪亚斯·沃罗威茨好

then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas

那你一定是吸多了由我的部队

that my troops illegally dispersed

非法释放的有毒气体

You okay

你还好吧

Uh I think that was a contraction

我好像开始宫缩了

Is it time Do we need to go to the hospital

快生了吗我们要去医院吗

No We've been through this before

不我们已经经历过这事了

My water hasn't even broken yet

我的羊水还没有破呢

Never mind your water

别管你的羊水了

Has your mucus plug popped out

你的宫颈粘液栓排出来了吗

在分娩开始时粘液栓可能会先行排出

Ew no

呕才没有呢

Oh you're right We probably would've heard that

你说得对如果排出来我们应该能听见

It's not a champagne cork

粘液栓又不是香槟瓶栓

Although that would be festive

当然那样的话也挺喜庆的

You know what maybe we should go

我们还是先去医院吧

Did you have another contraction

你又感受到宫缩了吗

No I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say

不我只是担心谢尔顿又要提到

"mucus plug" again

"粘液栓"

And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye

我还担心它会弹到我的眼睛上呢

Yep it's time

该走了

Should we take two cars

我们是开两辆车去吗

Uh actually could you stay here and watch Halley

你们能留下来照顾哈雷吗

That way we don't have to wait for Bernadette's parents

这样我们就不用等博纳黛特的父母了

Yeah you guys go We'll take care of her

你们走吧我们会照顾她的

You have nothing to worry about

你们什么都别担心

Well not nothing There are U boats approaching the Suez Canal

那倒不尽然潜水艇正在驶近苏伊士运河

It's too late for us Go go

我们逃不掉了你们快走吧

Save yourselves

赶紧逃命

Suez Birth It's a big night for canals

苏伊士出生日运河今夜逢吉时

How you feeling

你还好吧

But I am really excited to meet our son

但我好期待见到我们的儿子

Me too I thought I'd be super freaked out

我也是我以为自己会吓死

But I'm ready for this

但我已经准备好了

Well not the part where you're in labor

除了你分娩时

and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue

用力过猛把我的手指捏紫这部分

I'm sorry

抱歉

That must be really painful for you

你一定很痛吧

It is

没错

I mean last time I

你知道上次我都...

Okay

好吧

I see what you're doing

我明白你的意思了

It's a big one

这次宫缩好痛

Just breathe

赶紧吸气

Okay

好了

Okay I'm good

好了没事了

I'm sorry I tried to sneak the name past you

抱歉我想背着你偷偷取名字

That's okay

没关系

I'm sorry I used up so many good names in college

抱歉我上大学时"干"掉了太多的好名字

I was really competitive with my roommate

我那时候很爱跟室友比较

Forget about it

忘了这事吧

Please

求求你

You know what maybe we're putting too much pressure on this

也许我们把自己逼得太紧了

It doesn't matter what we name him

不管我们给他取什么名字

He's gonna be amazing

他都会是个棒小伙儿

You're right

你说得对

This kid is part you and part me

这孩子有你的一半有我的一半

Yeah He's gonna be smart and kind and funny

没错他一定会聪明善良又有趣

If he cracks five foot six it'll be a miracle

如果他能超过1米67 那就是神迹了

I've always liked the name Elliott

我一直很喜欢艾略特这个名

Sorry can't have it That's my boy name

抱歉不能用那是我儿子的名字

I said it first

我先说的

It's not like calling dibs

这又不是先喊先得

Yes it is It's exactly like that

这就是先喊先得

Dibs on Elliott

艾略特是我的了

I I'm just saying we might get there first

我只是说我们很有可能先用上

You only have sex once a year

你俩一年才睡一次

I'll probably have sex tonight

我有可能今晚就滚床单呢

Fine you can have Elliott

好吧艾略特给你吧

When did you pick out our kids' names

你什么时候连我们孩子的名都想好了

Remember that day you moved into the building

还记得你搬进这大楼的那天吗

Yes

记得呀

A non creepy amount of time after that

相隔了一段不会吓到人的时间后想的

Yeah I like the name Elliott

我喜欢艾略特这个名字

That wasn't on my list but I like it

虽然不在我的备选名单上但我喜欢它

We've heard your names They're ridiculous

我们听过你的名字了全都荒诞至极

And I have a cousin named Dilip

我叫地里扑的表亲都比那些强

Well I wasn't going to give them any of the good names

我才不会把好名字告诉他们呢

I'm saving those for us

我要留着自己用

Really You've thought about our kids

真的吗你还想过咱们孩子的名字

Of course I think you and I will have exceptional children

当然我俩一定会生出最出色的孩子

Well I think so too

我也这么想

How many kids do you guys want

你俩想要几个孩子呀

Two 15

-两个 -十五个

What Don't worry

-什么 -别担心

I don't expect you to bear them all

我又不要求你一个人生完

I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent

我们可以租用一个合适的子宫

No Uh uh

-才怪 -别想

We weren't thinking about you

我们才没有指你呢

Of course not

绝对没有

I am going to the kitchen

我要去厨房了

Can I get anybody anything

要给你们带吃的吗

Penny nice glass of milk

佩妮来杯牛奶

and a multivitamin

再加多种维他命如何

Guys

同志们

Guys wake up

同志们快醒醒

Terrible news

悲惨的消息

Oh my God What what what

我的天怎么了

Is it the baby

是宝宝出事了吗

No No no we miscalculated

不不是我们算错了

our unassigned armor class units

尚未分配的装甲部队数

We need to start over

我们得重新开始玩了

What

什么

Oh no no no not from the beginning

不不是从头开始

Just from when the tanks started moving

只是从坦克行动开始

That was five hours ago

那已经是5小时之前的事了

Mm no No that was two hours ago

不那是2小时之前的事

It only feels like five

只是感觉像过了5小时

What time is it

几点呢

It's almost 2 30

快两点半了

Don't you think we should've heard something

你们不觉得他们该打电话来了吗

I'm sure they're fine

我想他们没事的

I'm calling them

我要打给他们

Hey everything okay

嘿你们还好吧

Yeah The baby was born about an hour ago

很好宝宝大概一个小时前出生了

Dude why didn't you call me

老兄你为什么没打给我

The only way I would see my son for the first time

如果在见到我儿子的第一个瞬间

and immediately think "I need to call Raj"

我就想到"得给拉杰打电话"

is if he came out brown

那一定是因为他是棕色皮肤

You know it can take some time for pigment to form

色素形成是需要一些时间的

You're still not out of the woods

你的警报还没有解除

Congratulations Yeah Hey what'd you name him

-恭喜啦 -名字想好了吗

Neil Michael

尼尔·麦克

Neil for Armstrong

取自于阿姆斯特朗[登月第一人]

Gaiman and Diamond

盖曼[幻想小说家]和戴蒙德[著名歌手]

Michael because Bernie had to get six stitches

叫麦克是因为妮妮那里得缝6针

Neil that's cute

尼尔这名字好可爱

But we're calling him Michael

但是我们叫他麦克

I'm not gonna fight her

我没法和她争

That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe

这孩子头大如瓜