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But
I
think
by
the
end
of
the
honeymoon
不过我觉得到了蜜月尾声
we
really
started
to
feel
like
a
married
couple
我们真的开始有已婚夫妇感了
But
the
good
kind
like
on
TV
是好的那种 像电视里那样
not
like
my
parents
Yeah
-不是像我父母 -是的
You're
not
a
real
married
couple
until
you
can
pee
真正的夫妻是当你可以撒尿不关门
with
the
door
open
and
she's
okay
with
it
而你老婆也无所谓时才算
I
told
you
I'm
not
okay
with
it
我跟你说过我有所谓
She
loves
it
她爱死了
So
we
got
everybody
gifts
我们给大家都买了礼物
Did
you
forget
about
us
until
you
were
at
the
airport
你们是不是到机场了才想起我们啊
No
才不是
We
forgot
about
you
until
we
were
on
the
plane
我们是到飞机上了才想起你们来
Luckily
there
was
Wi
Fi
幸好飞机上有无线网
and
I
have
Amazon
Prime
而我有网络商城高速送货服务
I
heart
New
York
我❤纽约
Aw
the
baby's
gonna
love
throwing
up
on
this
宝宝一定会很喜欢吐在这上面
Look
it
doesn't
have
to
just
be
New
York
听我说 这不见得只能代表纽约啊
That's
the
beauty
of
it
这才是其中的奥妙之处
Uh
the
initials
"N
Y
"
can
stand
for
anything
you
like
这个缩写可以代表很多你们喜爱的事物
For
instance
I
understand
that
there
is
举个例子 我听说有一个
an
elderly
rock
and
roll
musician
named
Neil
Young
知名的老年摇滚歌手尼尔·杨
Perhaps
you
heart
him
或许你们喜欢他啊
Or
if
not
him
Egyptian
table
tennis
silver
medalist
如果对他无感 埃及银牌乒乓球手
Noha
Yossry
诺哈·亚瑟里
Or
Nana
Yamaguchi
也可以是山口奈奈
the
Japanese
voice
actress
她是日本的女声优
who
starred
in
Sally
the
Witch
曾给卡通《仙女下凡》配过音
Did
you
just
Google
the
initials
"N
Y
"
你上网查了有谁缩写是N.Y.的吗
I
had
Wi
Fi
and
a
long
plane
flight
飞行时间长而又刚好有网
Draw
your
own
conclusions
你推理推理吧
Well
guys
that
was
very
very
thoughtful
of
you
I
两位 这礼物真是非常有心了 我...
Did
you
get
me
a
double
XL
你们给我买了XXL号的吗
I
told
you
You
were
right
dear
-我跟你说太大了吧 -你说对了 亲爱的
Sheldon
that's
not
how
you
write
a
thank
you
card
谢尔顿 感谢函不是这么写的
What's
wrong
with
it
我写的有哪里不对
"Dear
Aunt
Helen
"亲爱的海伦阿姨
Thank
you
so
much
for
the
lovely
place
setting
谢谢您送给我们的这套令人喜爱的餐具
If
my
handwriting
looks
strained
如果我的字迹看起来不太自然
that
is
because
this
is
the
16th
thank
you
card
那是因为这是我被艾米逼着写的
Amy
has
forced
me
to
write
第16张感谢函
The
muscles
in
my
wrist
are
cramping
我忍着用肌肉在抽筋的手腕
as
I
struggle
to
finish
this
sentence
艰苦地写完这句子
Ow
ow
oh
the
pain
哎哟 哎哟 疼死我了
Love
Sheldon
"
爱你的谢尔顿敬上"
Fine
行行行
"And
Amy
"
"谢尔顿与艾米敬上"
This
one
is
from
Leonard
and
Penny
这份礼物是莱纳德与佩妮送的
"The
perfect
gift
for
the
perfect
couple
"
"完美的礼物赠于最完美的夫妇"
Save
that
card
We
may
need
to
throw
it
back
in
their
faces
卡先留着 礼物不满意就把卡甩回他们脸上
I
wonder
what
it
could
be
我真好奇会是什么东西
Oh
could
be
anything
什么东西都有可能
A
flute
a
letter
opener
一支长笛 一把拆信刀
one
of
those
pens
或是带裸女图的笔
where
you
put
the
bikini
back
on
the
naked
lady
把笔正着拿 墨水就会变成遮羞的比基尼
Isn't
this
nice
这东西不错啊
What
is
it
这是什么
You
know
it's
uh
你懂的 就是...
it's
one
of
those
就是那个...
Nope
doesn't
do
that
不是 没作用
Oh
maybe
it's
candy
或许是糖果
Lick
it
舔舔看
I
don't
want
to
lick
it
You
lick
it
我才不要舔 你舔吧
I'm
not
gonna
lick
it
I
just
brushed
my
teeth
我才不要舔 我刚刷完牙
Is
it
from
one
of
your
dumb
sci
fi
shows
是你看的弱智科幻电视剧里的东西吗
Uh
none
of
the
sci
fi
shows
I
watch
are
dumb
我看的科幻电视剧都不弱智好吗
Sheldon
Okay
Westworld
-谢尔顿少来 -好啦 《西部世界》弱智
But
this
has
nothing
to
do
with
that
show
但这跟那部剧没有任何关联啊
other
than
it's
also
inexplicable
唯一的关联大概就是都令人懵逼
Well
Leonard
and
Penny
are
our
best
friends
莱纳德与佩妮是我们最好的朋友
They
know
us
better
than
anyone
他们比谁都了解我们俩
They
said
it's
the
perfect
gift
他们说这是完美的礼物
We
must
be
missing
something
那我们肯定是漏了什么细节
You
don't
你不会...
think
it's
a
marital
aid
do
you
觉得这是婚姻"辅助棒"吧
Don't
be
silly
别犯傻了
Amy
how
is
this
big
glass
shaft
going
to
aid
our
marriage
艾米 这根玻璃大棒哪里能辅助我们的婚姻啊
Do
you
think
when
Krypto
the
Superdog
is
out
flying
你觉得当超级狗英雄在外面乱飞时
Superman
has
to
fly
after
him
with
a
little
baggie
超人得拿着捡屎袋跟在它后面吗
Hmm
Haven't
really
thought
about
it
before
这点以前我还真没想过
But
he
doesn't
need
a
baggie
但超人应该不需要用捡屎袋
because
he
just
blasts
the
poop
with
his
heat
vision
他可以直接用热能光线把屎给炸了
You've
thought
about
it
before
你以前绝对想过这件事
Oh
I've
thought
about
it
a
lot
其实我可常想了
What
is
wrong
with
Stuart's
face
斯图尔特的脸出了什么问题
I
think
he's
smiling
他好像是在微笑
Oh
my
God
are
they
flirting
天啊 他们是在聊骚吗
Oh
they're
way
past
flirting
他们早就过了聊骚期
I
caught
them
making
out
at
Sheldon's
wedding
我抓到他们在谢尔顿的婚礼上亲热了
Are
you
sure
she
wasn't
trying
to
breathe
life
back
into
him
你确定她不是在帮他做人工呼吸吗
I
don't
think
so
应该不是
When
I
used
that
much
tongue
at
CPR
training
当我在心肺复苏课上伸那么多舌头时
I
had
to
buy
the
dummy
他们会逼我买下那假人
Ooh
I
have
class
我有课
I
should
go
我该走了
Oh
Okay
好的
Bye
Bye
-再见 -再见
See
ya
guys
大家再见
Bye
Bye
-再见 -再见啦
So
what's
her
deal
她现在是怎么样
Is
she
into
you
or
does
she
just
hate
her
parents
她是真对你有意思 还是想气自己父母
I
I
don't
know
我不知道啊
We
kissed
a
little
at
the
wedding
我们在婚礼上亲热了一下
and
it
was
great
感觉一切很美好
But
we
haven't
really
talked
about
it
since
then
但之后我们没有好好谈过
So
I
I
don't
know
how
she
feels
about
me
所以我也不知道她对我有何感觉
Well
she
patted
you
on
the
head
她摸了摸你的头
so
I'm
guessing
she
feels
like
you're
such
a
good
boy
所以我猜她觉得你是个乖狗狗
Seriously
do
you
think
I
should
ask
her
out
说认真的 你们觉得我该去约她吗
A
Absolutely
必须啊
Don't
let
love
get
away
别让真爱溜走
It
is
the
most
important
thing
in
the
world
爱情是世界上最重要的东西
Without
it
life
is
dark
and
meaningless
and
all
you're
left
with
没了爱情 生命一片黑暗且毫无意义
is
the
judgmental
gaze
of
your
dog
你剩下的就只有
as
you
finish
off
a
bag
of
Doritos
on
the
toilet
独自在马桶上吃完零食后 你家狗鄙视的眼神
Thanks
谢谢你
You're
a
real
good
pal
你真是个好朋友
And
now
you're
a
good
boy
你现在也是乖狗狗啦
I
can't
stop
thinking
about
that
present
我无法停止想那个礼物是什么
It's
driving
me
crazy
我快要发疯了
Me
too
我也是
The
card
said
it
was
the
perfect
gift
卡片写着那是完美的礼物
But
it's
not
a
dinosaur
fossil
or
matching
pocket
watches
但它不是恐龙化石也不是情侣怀表
so
I
don't
see
how
it
can
be
所以我看不出它如何能完美
Maybe
we're
trying
too
hard
或许是我们想太多了
Maybe
it's
something
simple
它可能很简单
Like
Leonard
and
Penny
就像他们夫妇一样头脑简单
Yes
good
很好 有道理
We
just
need
to
think
like
them
我们只需要进入他们的思维
Okay
好
What
gift
can
I
get
us
有什么礼物能送谢家夫妇
to
express
how
grateful
we
are
to
have
us
in
their
lives
来表达对他们进入我们生命的感谢之情
Way
to
make
it
simple
你可真会简化啊
I'm
just
gonna
ask
them
我直接去问他们吧
No
you
can't
it'll
hurt
their
feelings
不行 这会伤了他们的感情
I'm
okay
with
that
这我无所谓啊
And
they'll
know
you
weren't
smart
enough
而且他们也会知道你不够聪明
to
figure
it
out
on
your
own
来解出他们送了什么礼物
You're
right
Oh
this
is
awful
你说得对 这真是太讨厌了
And
I
can't
even
comfort
myself
by
stroking
而且我都不能靠抚摸
the
fossilized
tibia
of
a
Pentaceratops
五角龙胫骨化石来安慰自己
Let's
just
go
to
sleep
我们先睡一觉吧
We'll
look
at
it
in
the
morning
with
fresh
eyes
一觉醒来我们就能用全新视角来看
and
maybe
it'll
come
to
us
说不定一切就会水到渠成
Fine
好吧
Or
we
go
tear
apart
that
box
and
look
for
a
clue
又或者我们去拆了那盒子 寻找线索
Staying
up
past
my
bedtime
and
solving
mysteries
过了我睡眠时间不睡觉去玩解谜游戏
Who
knew
married
life
could
be
this
good
谁能想到婚姻生活会如此美好
What's
wrong
with
his
face
他的脸出了什么问题
A
lot
of
people
have
been
asking
that
最近很多人都问过这个问题
He's
smiling
他在...微笑
Hey
Stuart
you
look
pretty
happy
斯图尔特 你看起来心情很好啊
Oh
yeah
是啊
I
uh
asked
Denise
out
on
a
date
我约德妮丝去约会
and
she
said
yes
她答应了
Aw
That's
great
太好了
But
don't
smile
like
that
in
front
of
Halley
但别在哈雷面前这样笑
She
just
started
sleeping
through
the
night
她最近才开始能一觉睡到天亮
Sorry
I'm
excited
抱歉 我很兴奋
I
haven't
been
on
a
date
in
a
long
time
我很久没约过会了
Back
when
I
was
dating
我还约会那会儿
I'd
always
wear
a
new
pair
of
underwear
just
in
case
我总会穿新内裤 以免"艳福"来了不好看
It's
also
been
a
long
time
since
I
bought
new
underwear
我也很久没买过新内裤了
And
I
probably
should
估计该买了
because
these
are
no
longer
tighty
nor
whitey
从紧身白内裤变成松垮灰破裤了
Okay
I'm
out
老娘要闪人了
If
there's
a
chance
someone's
gonna
see
you
naked
当别人有机会看到你的裸体时
it's
also
polite
to
make
sure
you're
well
groomed
down
there
你先修剪梳理好"杂毛"是基本礼仪
I
get
it
Howard
I've
been
busy
知道了 霍华德 老娘最近太忙了
Hello
你们好呀
I
just
wanted
to
pop
over
and
hand
deliver
this
thank
you
note
我想过来亲手把感谢信交给你们
for
your
very
thoughtful
wedding
gift
感谢你们送了贴心的新婚礼物
Oh
good
You
guys
liked
it
真好 你们喜欢那个礼物吗
Well
we
liked
it
a
lot
more
than
things
that
aren't
it
喜欢它多过喜欢不是它的事物
I'll
tell
you
that
我就这么说吧
Well
yeah
that's
great
那可太好了
Because
when
we
saw
it
we
thought
因为我们看到这东西时便想到
"Amy
and
Sheldon
just
have
to
have
that
"
"艾米和谢尔顿必须得有这个"
Oh
do
tell
Now
paint
a
picture
for
me
愿闻其详 把当时的情形描述一下
like
where
you
were
when
you
found
it
这礼物你们在哪发现的
and
what
you
thought
we'd
enjoy
doing
with
it
你们觉得我们会喜欢用它来做什么
Do
you
not
know
what
it
is
你是不是不知道那是什么
Of
course
he
knows
what
it
is
他当然知道了
He's
the
smartest
man
in
the
world
他可是全世界最聪明的人
Well
I
don't
know
about
the
world
全世界我可不敢肯定
Some
of
those
Chinese
fellas
are
pretty
clever
还有些也挺聪明的中国人呢
Now
if
you'll
excuse
me
失陪一下
I'm
going
to
return
home
and
use
your
gift
我要回家使用你们送的礼物
in
the
manner
which
it
was
intended
而且是按它原本的用途来使用
He
He's
never
gonna
figure
it
out
他永远都不会猜到
I
know
就是啊
What
are
you
你到底是什么鬼
Gosh
this
makes
me
happy
Yeah
-我真是要开心坏了 -对啊
Howard
I
don't
often
say
this
霍华德 这话我不常说
but
good
you're
here
Now
但你在这真的太好了
do
you
know
what
Leonard
and
Penny
got
us
for
our
wedding
gift
你知道莱纳德夫妇送了什么新婚礼物给我们吗
Well
Don't
answer
-这个嘛 -别回答
I
don't
want
to
know
我不想知道答案
I
just
want
to
know
if
you
know
我只想知道你是否知道
I
do
know
Okay
great
-我知道 -很好
I
believe
that
Amy
and
I
have
figured
it
out
我认为我和艾米已经猜到了
Is
it
a
clue
to
a
scavenger
hunt
礼物是不是寻宝游戏的线索
that
will
lead
us
to
the
actual
present
它将会指引我们找到真正的礼物
If
you're
asking
如果你是在问
if
you
and
Amy
should
spend
the
next
couple
days
你和艾米未来几天是否该满城跑
running
all
over
town
searching
for
the
next
clue
寻找下一条线索
I'm
gonna
have
to
say
yes
那我只能说 是的
I
knew
it
我就知道
This
is
so
much
fun
这太好玩了
Oh
it
really
is
真的好玩死了
Oh
Leonard
thank
you
again
莱纳德 再次谢谢你
We
love
the
gift
我们爱死那份礼物了
Does
he
know
what
it
is
他知道那是什么了吗
No
not
even
close
边都没沾上
He
thinks
it's
a
clue
to
a
scavenger
hunt
他以为礼物是寻宝游戏的线索
So
so
happy
小爷我开心坏了
Well
what
is
it
What
did
you
give
them
你们送了什么礼物给他们
Oh
I
it's
just
this
dumb
crystal
wand
就是我们结婚时
that
Howard
and
Bernadette
gave
us
for
our
wedding
霍华德夫妇送给我们的一根智障水晶棒
Penny
and
I
made
each
other
miserable
佩妮和我想得头都大了
trying
to
figure
out
what
it
was
and
we
thought
都没猜到是什么 于是我们寻思
"Why
not
pass
that
fun
along
to
Sheldon
and
Amy
"
"不如把这份乐趣传给谢尔顿和艾米吧"
Wait
a
minute
Did
等等 你...
did
you
give
them
the
crystal
chakra
wand
你把我送给你们的结婚礼物
that
I
gave
you
for
your
wedding
水晶脉轮能量棒送给他们了吗
Yeah
that's
exactly
what
we
did
对 我们是这么做了
You
said
you
liked
it
你说你喜欢这礼物啊
Yeah
that's
exactly
what
I
said
对 我是这么说了
Wow
A
scavenger
hunt
寻宝游戏啊
That's
exciting
真令人兴奋
I
had
a
bit
of
a
scavenger
hunt
myself
last
night
我昨晚也玩了寻宝游戏
I
was
trying
to
find
the
remote
我想找遥控器
I
looked
under
one
of
the
cushions
找了一下沙发坐垫底下
Wasn't
there
没有
Then
I
lifted
the
cushion
a
little
higher
然后我把坐垫再掀高一点
Bingo
找到了
Riveting
精彩
So
do
you
know
what
it
is
你知道这是什么吗
Of
course
I
know
what
it
is
我当然知道了
It's
a
silicon
dioxide
crystal
otherwise
known
as
quartz
这是二氧化硅晶体 也就是石英
Are
you
sure
你确定吗
Am
I
sure
Is
basalt
a
mafic
extrusive
igneous
rock
formed
还我确定吗 玄武岩是由富含镁铁的熔岩
by
the
rapid
cooling
of
magnesium
and
iron
rich
lava
快速冷却形成的镁铁质火成岩吗
Yeah
I'm
sure
我当然确定了
Okay
so
it's
quartz
所以是石英
That's
got
to
mean
something
这一定有什么含义
What
do
we
know
about
quartz
我们对石英有什么认识
I'll
Google
it
我上网查一下
Or
you
can
ask
me
你也可以问我这个
the
geologist
who
won
the
MacArthur
Genius
Grant
荣获麦克阿瑟天才奖的地质学家
Got
it
查到了
Quartz
from
the
German
"Quarz"
石英一词来自德语
which
sounds
the
same
but
is
spelled
without
a
"T"
两词发音相同 但英语拼写多了一个"T"
Interesting
No
"T"
有意思 没有"T"
What
is
not
"T"
什么东西非"T"也[音似"茶"]
Coffee
咖啡
The
coffee
shop
where
we
first
met
我们第一次见面的那家咖啡店
All
right
let's
go
Sorry
好的 咱们走 抱歉
I
think
I
just
had
an
adrenaline
rush
from
having
visitors
难得有人来找我 我不禁肾上腺素飙升
Hey
Raj
will
you
um
smell
something
for
me
拉杰 你能帮我闻个东西吗
Uh
that
depends
看情况
Actually
it
doesn't
depend
Just
no
其实不用看 我直接拒绝
I'm
trying
out
some
new
colognes
for
my
date
with
Denise
我在试跟德妮丝约会要用的新古龙水
Oh
and
you
just
came
over
here
所以你就直接到我跟前
to
rub
it
in
my
face
that
you
have
a
date
炫耀你跟妹子有约会吗
No
不是
I
came
over
here
because
I
need
advice
我来找你是因为我需要建议
and
you've
gone
out
with
more
women
than
anybody
I
know
而你是我认识的人里 跟最多妹子约过会的
Huh
I
guess
you're
right
我想你说得对
Sheldon's
the
smart
one
Howard's
the
funny
one
谢尔顿最聪明 霍华德最幽默
and
apparently
I'm
the
ladies'
man
而本公子 很明显是最花的
Which
one's
Leonard
那莱纳德呢
Oh
yeah
right
对哦
I
guess
Leonard's
the
forgettable
one
莱纳德应该是最没存在感的
Okay
let's
have
a
whiff
好 我来闻一下
Hmm
Smells
like
Paco
Rabanne
闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳牌的香水
Ooh
you're
good
I
bought
it
at
a
swap
meet
你真厉害 我在跳蚤市场买的
It's
actually
called
"Smells
Like
Paco
Rabanne
"
名字就叫"闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳的香水"
It's
great
She's
gonna
love
it
很好 她会喜欢的
I
hope
so
但愿如此
I
really
like
Denise
and
I
don't
want
to
screw
this
up
我真的很喜欢德妮丝 我不想搞砸了
Hey
relax
放轻松
Trust
your
instincts
That's
what
I
do
相信你的直觉 我就是这么做的
And
that
works
for
you
这让你纵横情场了吗
Actually
no
事实上 没有
I've
made
a
mess
of
my
life
and
I'm
我把自己的人生搞得一团糟
I'm
all
alone
现在孤苦无依
Okay
I
think
it'd
be
best
for
both
of
us
我最好还是假装要走开接电话吧
if
I
pretend
to
get
a
phone
call
and
just
walk
away
这样场面不会这么尴尬
Yeah
that
would
be
best
行 这样最好
Hello
This
is
Stuart
你好 我是斯图尔特
Sorry
I
got
to
take
this
抱歉 我得接个电话
Uh
why
yes
I'd
love
to
take
a
survey
当然 我乐意做问卷调查
Okay
this
is
where
we
first
met
这是我们初次相遇的地方
There's
got
to
be
a
clue
here
somewhere
肯定在某个地方有线索
We
sat
at
that
table
我们坐的是那张桌子
Excuse
me
你这是做什么
I'm
sorry
We're
on
a
scavenger
hunt
抱歉 我们在寻宝
Just
pretend
we're
not
here
无视我们就行
Oh
I
found
something
我找到了
It's
gum
是口香糖
Maybe
they
left
it
behind
the
counter
也许他们放在柜台后面
I
met
my
wife
here
and
we
sat
at
this
very
table
我和妻子在这里相遇 当时坐的就是这张桌子
so
if
you
play
your
cards
right
in
eight
years
所以如果你好好表现 八年后
you
could
marry
this
woman
你就可以娶这位女士
That's
my
sister
这是我妹妹
Well
don't
tell
people
That's
not
okay
别说出来 兄妹恋可不好
Sheldon
look
I
asked
the
barista
谢尔顿 你看 我问咖啡师
if
anyone
left
anything
for
us
是否有人留东西给我们
and
she
said
to
look
in
this
lost
and
found
box
她让我们在失物招领箱中找
But
why
would
it
be
in
the
lost
and
found
box
但为什么会在失物招领箱里
Because
we
were
lost
and
then
we
found
each
other
因为我们曾经迷失 结果找到了彼此
It
makes
perfect
sense
这太有道理了
Oh
And
look
at
this
看这个
A
locket
一个吊坠
And
that
stone
in
front
I
bet
it's
quartz
上面的石头 我打赌是石英
This
must
be
it
This
must
be
the
actual
gift
肯定是这个 这个才是真正的礼物
Open
it
up
What's
inside
打开 里面有什么
Nothing
It's
empty
没东西 空的
Of
course
当然了
Our
life
together
is
just
starting
我们共同的生活才刚刚开始
and
they
want
us
to
fill
it
with
our
memories
他们希望我们用共同的回忆填满它
This
might
be
the
best
wedding
gift
ever
这可能是史上最贴心的结婚礼物了
They
also
left
us
a
pair
of
sunglasses
他们还给我们送了副墨镜
because
our
future's
so
bright
因为我们的未来太耀眼了
They
thought
of
everything
他们想得太周到了
Look
what
Halley
drew
看哈雷的画
Yeah
she
made
it
at
daycare
她在托儿所画的
It's
pretty
good
huh
画得真不错啊
Is
it
是吗
Wow
Gentile
moms
are
tough
非犹太妈妈好严格啊
Guys
I
need
to
show
you
something
两位 我要给你们看点东西
but
you
have
to
promise
not
to
make
fun
of
me
但你们得保证不能取笑我
Of
course
那当然
Yeah
I
was
worried
about
the
date
我很担心约会的事
so
I
got
my
hair
colored
to
make
me
feel
a
little
more
confident
所以给头发染了色 让自己更加自信
but
that
just
made
me
look
paler
so
I
I
got
a
spray
tan
结果更显皮肤苍白 所以我去做了美黑
Have
you
tried
showering
你试过冲澡了吗
seeing
if
you
could
scrub
it
off
看是否能擦洗掉
I
did
试了
You're
gonna
need
some
new
towels
你们需要买新的毛巾
And
a
bathmat
浴室脚垫
And
a
toilet
seat
还有马桶座圈
I'm
picking
her
up
in
an
hour
一小时后我就得去接她
What
am
I
gonna
do
我该怎么办
Don't
you
mean
what
are
you
gonna
你是不是应该说
"Oompa
Loompa
doompety
do"
"你要呜巴鲁巴怎么办"
《查理和巧克力工厂》里的橙色小矮人唱的歌
You
said
you
weren't
gonna
make
any
jokes
你说你不会嘲笑我的
I'm
sorry
I'll
stop
抱歉 我不说了
I
won't
stop
我不会停
Look
it's
only
a
spray
tan
只是喷雾美黑
It'll
fade
in
a
couple
days
几天就褪色了
Why
don't
you
cancel
the
date
and
reschedule
你不如取消约会 再安排时间
Oh
but
I
was
really
looking
forward
to
tonight
但我超级期待今晚呢
You
know
what
Then
go
Tell
her
what
happened
那就去吧 把实情告诉她
Maybe
she'll
be
flattered
And
if
not
-也许她会高兴 -如果她不高兴
swing
by
the
chocolate
factory
and
see
if
they're
hiring
就顺路去巧克力工厂 看那里是否招工
That
wasn't
a
joke
That
was
a
legitimate
suggestion
这不是笑话 这是真心的建议
Hello
喂
Hey
Dad
老爸
Rajesh
What
a
nice
surprise
calling
me
on
my
birthday
拉杰什 真是惊喜 居然在我生日时打给我
Yes
That's
why
I'm
calling
对 我就是为这事打来的
And
and
what
better
gift
to
give
you
than
the
gift
还有什么生日礼物比得上
of
marrying
an
Indian
woman
just
like
you've
always
wanted
我满足你的期望去娶一个印度女人呢
My
goodness
Rajesh
this
is
exciting
news
我的天 拉杰什 这是天大的好消息
Who
is
she
她是谁
You
tell
me
你告诉我啊
What
什么
I
want
you
to
arrange
a
marriage
for
me
我希望你帮我安排一桩婚姻
I'm
just
so
tired
of
being
single
我实在是厌倦了单身
and
I'm
finally
just
I'm
I'm
ready
to
settle
down
我终于...我准备好成家了
I
can't
just
call
up
some
girl's
dad
我不能随便打电话给一个姑娘的爸爸
and
make
her
marry
you
让她嫁给你啊
It's
it's
not
2015
anymore
现在可不是2015年的世道了
I
know
that
but
I
can't
do
this
on
my
own
I
need
your
help
我知道 但我一个人结不了婚 我需要你帮忙
Well
then
I'm
going
to
need
your
help
too
那我也需要你的帮助
If
I'm
going
to
find
a
woman
to
set
you
up
with
如果我要帮你介绍一个女人
you're
going
to
need
to
stop
Instagramming
pictures
你就不能再在网上发你和你的狗
of
you
and
your
dog
wearing
matching
sweaters
穿情侣毛衣的照片
Fine
if
that's
what
it
takes
to
show
you
that
I'm
serious
行 为了让你看到我的诚意 我同意
Uh
quick
question
问一下
Do
you
mean
just
Instagram
or
all
my
social
你是单指照片分享网 还是所有社交网...
All
of
them
全部的
Okay
deal
好 说定了
All
right
Let
me
ask
you
a
question
好 那我问你一个问题
What
do
you
think
of
this
woman
你觉得这个女孩怎么样
Oh
Oh
my
God
she's
beautiful
我的天 好漂亮
Is
that
who
you're
going
to
set
me
up
with
这是你要给我介绍的对象吗
No
That's
who
I'm
dating
不 这是我在泡的妞
But
maybe
she
has
an
older
sister
但也许她有姐姐
So
we
put
a
little
picture
of
me
所以我们在里面放了我的照片
and
a
little
picture
of
Sheldon
in
it
还有谢尔顿的照片
In
in
the
locket
放进吊坠里
Yes
是的
That
was
in
a
lost
and
found
box
之前是在失物招领箱里的吊坠
Exactly
没错
Where
we
hid
it
我们把它藏在那里
So
really
you
gave
us
three
amazing
gifts
真的 你们送了我们三件超棒的礼物
You
gave
the
locket
the
adventure
你们送了吊坠 精彩冒险
and
the
realization
that
Amy
and
I
can
do
anything
并且让艾米和我发现只要我俩合作
as
long
as
we
work
together
便无所不能
We
wrote
you
a
special
thank
you
note
我们给你们写了张特别的感谢卡
Are
those
words
这些是文字吗
No
不是
It's
a
secret
code
that
you
two
get
to
figure
out
together
这是要你俩一起破译的密码
Hint
it's
based
on
Sanskrit
提示 这是以梵文为基础的
but
not
the
Sanskrit
you're
thinking
of
但不是你们以为的那种梵文
And
best
of
all
you
can't
use
the
Internet
to
cheat
最精彩的在于 你们不能作弊上网查
Because
we
locked
you
out
of
your
Wi
Fi
因为我们锁住了你们的无线网
and
the
answer
to
this
is
your
new
password
而答案就是新密码
I'm
no
longer
happy
我不开心了
Hey
guys
Great
news
各位 好消息
I'm
getting
married
我要结婚了
What
No
-什么 -不
Well
I
I
haven't
met
her
yet
我还没见过她
but
her
name
is
Anu
她叫安努
My
father
says
she
comes
from
a
good
family
我父亲说她出身良好家庭
She's
in
her
30s
30多岁
She
works
in
hospitality
management
她做酒店管理工作
So
as
long
as
I
can
get
through
six
to
ten
dates
只要我能挺过六到十次约会
without
revealing
my
true
self
不暴露我的真面目
this
is
happening
我就真能结婚了
I
know
just
what
we're
giving
them
for
a
wedding
gift
我知道我们要送什么结婚礼物了
Oh
my
God
我的天
Yeah
是的
I
wanted
to
look
my
best
for
our
date
我希望在约会时展现自己最好的一面
and
I
made
a
series
of
bad
decisions
于是我做了一系列悲催的决定
one
of
which
is
hidden
by
my
pants
其中一个悲催决定被我裤子遮住了
Do
you
still
want
to
go
out
with
me
你还想和我约会吗
Absolutely
Hey
maybe
we
can
go
find
Nemo
together
当然 也许我们可以一起去找尼莫
《海底总动员》中的橙色小丑鱼
That's
a
good
one
这个哏不错
Do
your
63
other
crayon
friends
know
you're
out
另外63支蜡笔朋友知道你出来了吗
Are
you
just
gonna
make
fun
of
me
all
night
你会取笑我一整晚吗
Probably
Great
-应该吧 -很好
So
what
are
we
thinking
Chinese
想吃什么 中国菜吗
Yeah
I'm
in
the
mood
for
orange
chicken
好啊 我有点想吃香橙鸡