生活大爆炸-S01E11_生活大爆炸

S01

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Checkmate

将军

again obviously

-又将? -显然

You're not well suited for three dimensional chess

你还不够格来玩三维国际象棋

Perhaps three dimensional candy land would be more your speed

你的速度或许更适合玩三维糖果盒游戏

Just reset the board

这盘重来

It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels

这么多层都得我让你还真丢脸啊

Hey guys

好伙计们

did you get my mail yeah right here

-你拿了我的邮件了? -是在这

how was nebraska well better than north dakota

-内布拉斯加那边怎样? -比北达科他州强

I guess that joke's only funny in nebraska

我猜这笑话只有在内布拉斯加州才会好笑

From the data at hand you really can't draw that conclusion

就目前的数据来说你还不能得出这结论

All you can say with absolute certainty is that

你所能唯一确定的是

that joke is not funny here

这笑话在这儿不好笑

Boy it's good to be back

兄弟们回来真好

how's your family it was the worst trip

-你家人怎么样? -这趟旅行简直不能再糟了

Everyone got sick over the weekend

一个周末下来家里人全病了

sick here we go

-病了? -又来了

What kind of sick

什么病?

The flu I guess

我猜就是流感吧

I don't need you to guess I need you to know

我不是要你猜我要你确定

Now when did the symptoms first appear

第一次出现症状是在什么时候

Maybe friday

大概是周五

Friday was that morning or afternoon

周五上午还是下午?

I i don't

我...我不...

Think woman who blew their nose and when

小姐好好想想是谁在什么时候擦过鼻子?

Sheldon relax

没事的谢尔顿

She doesn't have any symptoms I'm sure she's not contagious

她没有任何症状我确定她不会传染

Oh please

拜托

If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear

如果流感只有在症状出现后才会感染

It would have died out thousands of years ago

那它早该在几千年前就消失了

Somewhere between tool using and cave painting

在开始使用石器工具和创作洞穴壁画的年代

Homo habilis would have figured out

"能人"们肯定会想方设法

how to kill the guy with the runny nose

干掉流着鼻涕的家伙的

Penny you'll have to excuse sheldon he's a bit of a germaphobe

潘妮你要原谅谢尔顿他有点病理恐惧

It's okay I understand

没关系我能理解

Thanks for your consideration now please leave

谢谢你的照顾现在请你离开

You'd better go before he starts spraying you with lysol

你最好趁他还没拿来沙尔(消毒药水)来对着你喷的时候赶紧闪

Okay well thank you for getting my mail

好的谢谢你替我拿邮件

No problem welcome home

小意思欢迎回家

What

怎么了?!

What the hell are you doing

你在搞什么鬼东西

I'm making petri dishes to grow throat cultures

我在制作皮氏培养皿培养喉咙里的细菌

With lime jell o

用酸橙果冻?

I need a growth medium

我需要一个(生长物)培养基

And someone polished off the apricot yogurt

而某人却把杏仁酸奶给扫荡一空了

Here swab my throat

来从我喉咙里取些唾液

I don't think so

我可不干

If I'm going to get ahead of this thing

如果我要走在它前面搞定它

I need to find out what's growing in my throat

就必须弄清楚我喉咙里是什么东西在生长

Sheldon you are not sick

谢尔顿你没病

This is but you are not

这些行为有但你没有

We have no idea what pathogen typhoid

我们根本不清楚她带进屋子来的

penny has introduced into our environment

是什么伤寒病原体

For having never been to nebraska

鉴于我从没去过内布拉斯加

I'm fairly certain that I have no corn husking antibodies

我十分肯定我没有携带玉米外壳抗体

Sheldon don't you think you're overreacting

谢尔顿你不觉得你反应过度了吗

When I'm lying comatose in a hospital

当我倒在医院昏迷不醒

relying on inferior minds to cure me

要靠那些低智商来医治我的时候

These jell o cultures and my accompanying notes

这些果冻培养细菌连同我的笔记

Will give them a fighting chance

会让他们有机会最后一搏

i'm going back to bed wait

-我回去睡觉了 -等等

put this in the bathroom what for

-把这个放到卫生间 -干吗

I need to measure my fluid intake and output

我要测量我体液的摄取和排放情况

To make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down

确保我肾功能没有衰竭

I mixed pancake batter in this

这是我用来和糕饼的!

No that measuring cup has always been for urine

不这个实验皿一直是用来盛小便的

You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment

你有闲工夫把房间里的所有东西都贴上标签

Including the label maker

即使标签笔都有标签

But you didn't have ten seconds to make one that said "urine cup"

就不能抽出十秒钟把它标记上"小便皿"吗?

It's right here on the bottom

这不在杯底嘛

I guess I owe the betty crocker company a letter of apology

我猜我该给贝蒂妙厨写封道歉信了

Oh dear god

我的天呐

Leonard I'm sick

里奥纳德我病了!

Leonard my comforter fell down and my sinuses hurt when I bend over

里奥纳德我的加衬芯床罩掉了我一弯腰鼻窦就疼

hey leonard where are you

里奥纳德你在哪呢

I'm at work

我在工作

At 6 30 in the morning

早上六点半?

On sunday

还是星期天?

why they asked me to come in

-怎么会 -他们叫我帮忙

I didn't hear the phone ring

我没听到电话响过啊

They texted me

他们发的短信

Well as I predicted I am sick

是这样跟我预测的如出一辙我病了

My fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2 00 a m

我的体温从凌晨两点开始就呈指数曲线上升

And I am producing sputum at an alarming rate

而且我痰中含血量惊人地高

No kidding

开玩笑吧?

No not only that

没有不仅如此

It has shifted from clear to milky green

痰的颜色也已经从透明变成牛奶绿了

All right

好吧

Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids

多休息多喝点液体

What else would I drink gases solids ionized plasma

我还能喝什么气体固体还是电离等离子体?

Drink whatever you want

想喝什么随你便

i want soup then make soup

-我想喝汤 -那就煲汤啊

We don't have soup

家里没有汤

I'm at work sheldon

谢尔顿我在工作呢

Is that a dog

那是狗叫吗

In the lab

在实验室里?

They're training dogs to operate the centrifuge

他们在训练狗操作离心机

For when they need dogs to

以备他们需要狗去...

Operate the centrifuge

为盲人科学家

For blind scientists I have to go

操作离心机我要挂了

Howard it's the phone

霍华德电话响了!

I know it's the phone ma I hear the phone

我知道电话响了妈我耳朵不聋!

Well who's calling at this ungodly hour

是谁在这么邪恶的时间来电话?!

I don't know

不知道!

Well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour

那就问问他们为什么在这么邪恶的时间来电话?!

How can I ask them when I'm talking to you

我在跟你说话怎么问他们问题?!

Hello

你好

It's leonard code milky green

霍华德我是里奥纳德牛奶绿色警报

Dear lord not milky green

天呐不是真的吧

Affirmative with fever

警报属实伴有发烧症状

Who's on the phone

谁来的电话?

It's leonard

是里奥纳德!

Why is he calling

他为什么来电话?!

Sheldon's sick

谢尔顿病了!

Were you playing with him

你还跟他一起玩呢?!

For god's sake ma I'm 26 years old

看在上帝的份上妈我都二十六岁了!

Excuse me mr grownup

不好意思长大了先生!

What do you want for breakfast

你早饭想吃什么?!

Chocolate milk and eggos please

巧克力牛奶和冰冻松饼谢谢!

listen to me hang on call waiting

-听我说 -等下有呼叫等待

No don't

不别...!

Hello

你好

Howard I'm sick

霍华德我病了

Howard's sleeping this is his mother

霍华德在睡觉呢我是他妈!

Why are you calling at this ungodly hour

你为什么要在这么邪恶的时间来电话?

I need soup

我要喝汤

Then call your own mother

找你自己的妈妈去!

It was sheldon

是谢尔顿

i tried to stop you it's my own fault

-我刚才阻止你来着 -是我的错

I forgot the protocol we put in place

我忘了06年耳炎大事件之后

after the great ear infection of 06

我们定下的协议了

You call koothrappali

你打电话给库萨帕里

We need to find a place to lay low for the next 18 to 24 hours

在接下来的18到24小时里我们要找地方躲起来

Stand by

等一下

Ma can my friends come over

妈我朋友能来家里坐坐吗?

I just had the carpet steamed

我刚洗过地毯!

That's a negatory

被否决了

But there's a planet of the apes marathon at the nuart today

但是今天电影展里会上演"决战猩球"全集

Five movies two hours apiece

5部电影每部2小时

It's a start

算是个开始

Homeless crazy guy at table 18

有个疯子加流浪汉在18号桌

No just crazy

不只是疯子而已

Sheldon what are you doing here

谢尔顿你在这里做什么?

I'm sick thank you very much

我病了非常感谢

How could you have gotten if from me I'm not sick

怎么会是我传染给你的呢? 我没有病

You're a carrier

你是携带者

All these people here are doomed

这里的所有人都在劫难逃

You're doomed

你们在劫难逃啦!

Sheldon what do you want

谢尔顿你想要干什么?

I want soup

我想要喝汤

Why didn't you

为什么你不...?

Why didn't you just have soup at home

为什么你不在家弄汤喝?

Penny I have an iq of 187

潘妮我的智商是187

Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me

你不会想想如果我在家有办法

To have had soup at home I would have thought of it

喝汤的话你觉得我会来这里么?

You can have soup delivered

你可以叫外卖啊

I did not think of that

这点我倒没想过

Clearly febrile delirium is setting in

很明显我已经处于发烧后的精神错乱状态了

Please bring me some soup

趁我还知道汤匙是做什么用

While I still understand what a spoon is for

请快给我上汤吧

What kind of soup do you want

你想要什么汤?

Well my mother used to make me this split pea

我母亲过去给我做的汤里面有切开的豌豆

With little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons

切片的法兰克福香肠和一些自制的油煎面包块

We have chicken tortilla and potato leek

我们有鸡汤玉米汤和土豆葱汤

Could I get any of those with little frankfurter slices

有没有什么汤里是放切片的法兰克福香肠

And homemade croutons No

和自制的油煎面包块的? 没有

Then surprise me

那就给我个惊喜吧

Would you call that "moss green" or "forest green"

你们觉得它是黄绿色还是树绿色?

Look at this everyone went chimp

看看每个人都选了黑猩猩

I'd like to point out that I voted for orangutan

我要指出我之前提议选的是人猿

But you shouted me down

但是被你给否决了!

hi penny hey where are you

-潘妮 -你在哪呢?

I'm at work

我在...工作

You sound funny

你的声音很奇怪

Look I'm I'm in a radiation suit

我...我穿着反辐射工作服

what's up i'm at work too

-有什么事吗? -我也在工作

And you'll never guess who's here infecting my entire station

你绝对猜不到谁在这里用病菌感染着我整个工作区

Sheldon's at the cheesecake factory

谢尔顿在芝士蛋糕店

just tell him to go home he won't leave

-告诉他让他回家 -他不走

He's afraid he'll pass out on the bus

他怕他会晕倒在公车上

And someone will harvest his organs

然后有人会把他的器官割走

He's paranoid and he's established a nest

他已经有妄想症状了不过他已经找到了地方呆着

Can you please come get him

你能过来接他吗?

Yeah I'd be happy to

当然可以

Oh my god there's a breach in the radiation unit

我的天啊辐射室出现裂缝了!

The whole city is in jeopardy oh my god

整个城市要陷于危险中了! 我的天啊!

The containment vessel's melting gotta go bye

安全壳已经开始融化了不能说了拜!

I feel really guilty

我感到非常内疚

You did what you had to do

你做了你该做的

Take your stinking paws off my popcorn

把你的脏爪子从我的爆米花上移开

You damn dirty ape

你个恶心可恶的大猩猩!

Thanks for bringing me home

谢谢你带我回家

It's okay I didn't really need to work today

没关系我今天不是很需要上班

It's not like I have rent or car payments or anything

反正我也没车和房子的贷款要缴

Good good

好那就好

Okay well you feel better

好吧祝你康复

Wait where are you going

等等! 你要去哪里?

Home to write some bad checks

回家... 去写一些空头支票

You're going to leave me

你就这样扔下我不管?

Sheldon you are a grown man haven't you ever been sick before

谢尔顿你已经长大了你之前没生过病吗

Of course but not by myself

当然生过不过有人照顾我啊

Really never

真的? 从来没自己一人过?

Well once when I was 15

有一次我15岁

Spending the summer at the heidelberg institute in germany

暑假的时候在德国的海德尔堡学院

Studying abroad

出国留学?

No visiting professor

不是被邀请当客座教授

Anyway the local cuisine was a little more sausage based

总之当地的烹饪方法用的香肠比我习惯的多了一些

Than I'm used to and the result was an internal blitzkrieg

结果就是肚子里上演了陆军联合闪电战

With my lower intestine playing the part of czechoslovakia

我的大肠扮演的是捷克斯洛伐克

And there was no one there to take care of you

当时没有人在那里照顾你么?

My mom had to fly back to texas to help my dad

我妈要飞回德克萨斯帮我爸爸的忙

Because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again

因为房子的煤渣砖又塌方了

again it was tornado season

-又? -当时是狂风季节

And it was an aluminum house

那是个临时工棚

The housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any english

当时学院公寓里的管家不会讲英文

When I finally managed to convince her I was sick

当我终于让她相信我生病了的时候

She said "mochtest du eine darmspfilung "

她说 "mochtest du eine darmspfilung?"

What does that mean

那是什么意思?

Based on what happened next I assume it means

根据之后发生的事我认为意思是

"would you like an enema "

"你想要灌肠吗?"

Okay sweetie I'll take care of you

好吧亲爱的我来照顾你吧

What do you need

你需要我做什么

My mom used to give me sponge baths

我妈妈常给我用海绵擦身

Ok ground rules No sponge baths

基本规则禁止用海绵擦身

And definitely no enemas

还有绝对禁止灌肠

Agreed

同意

Here we go

开始了

Ten and a half hours of ape y goodness

2个半小时的猩猩大战老天啊

Damn it my glasses

晕我的眼镜

Okay I'm blind here guys can you help me find them

兄弟们我处于"半瞎"状态你们可以帮我找找么?

sorry okay

-对不起 -好

Found them

找到了

Oh great

好极了

I'm sorry don't you have a spare

对不起你没有备用的吗

Yeah at home

有啊可是在家里

If you leave now

如果你现在走

You can be back before the gorillas rip the crap out of charlton heston

你可以赶在大猩猩把查尔顿·赫斯顿的屎掏出来之前回来

Unless sheldon's there in which case you'll be trapped forever

不过谢尔顿要是在家的话你就将永远被困在

In his whiny hyper neurotic snot web

他那喋喋不休的超神经质的鼻涕网中

Hi penny

潘妮吗

I was just wondering is sheldon still at the restaurant

我想问下谢尔顿还在店里吗

Okay that was very nice of you okay I gotta go

好的你真是个大好人我得挂了

Got kind of a full blown chernobyl thing here gotta go bye

切尔诺贝利事件升级了挂了再见

He's home I'm screwed

他在家我完了

Ten and a half hours of ape y blurriness

要看十个半小时的模糊猩猩

How about lasik

做个激光手术怎么样?

You want me to get eye surgery

你想让我去做眼部手术?

Would you rather go home and deal with sheldon

你是宁可回家跟谢尔顿斗智斗勇

Or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam

还是在你的角膜上用激光切个奇怪的槽

well i'm thinking

-怎么着? -我正在想

Okay nice and cozy

好了很好很舒适

Okay I'll see you later

好吧一会见

Wait

等等

Will you please rub this on my chest

你能不能把这个擦在我胸上?

Sheldon can't you do that yourself

谢尔顿你自己不能干吗

Vaporub makes my hands smell funny

维克斯达姆膏会弄得我手上闻起来很奇怪

but sheldon please please please

-可是谢尔顿... -求你了求你了求你了

I can't believe I'm doing this

真是被你打败了

No no counterclockwise or my chest hair mats

不不逆时针涂要不我胸毛就该打结了

Sorry

对不起

Can you sing "soft kitty"

你能唱"乖乖猫"给我听吗

What

什么

My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick

我妈妈在我病的时候总唱给我听

oh sorry honey I don't know it i'll teach you

-对不起亲爱的我不会唱 -我可以教你

Soft kitty warm kitty

乖乖猫暖暖猫

Little ball of fur

小小毛绒球

Happy kitty sleepy kitty

快乐猫瞌睡猫

Purr purr purr

呜呜呜(猫的叫声)

Now you

该你了

Soft kitty

乖乖猫

Warm kitty

暖暖猫

Little ball of fur

小小毛绒球

Keep rubbing

手别停

Little ball of fur

小小毛绒球

What do you see I can't

你看到什么了? 我看不到

The living room appears to be empty

客厅好像没人

He must be in his bedroom

他肯定在他卧室

My spare glasses are in my bedroom on my dresser

我的备用眼镜在我卧室的柜子上

Next to my bat signal

就挨着我的蝙蝠侠发光器

I'm not going in there

我又不进去

raj no way jose

-拉杰? -没门伙计

But I can't do it I can't see anything

可是我没法去拿啊我什么都看不到

It's all right wireless minicam and bluetooth headset

那没关系有无线迷你摄像头和蓝牙耳机

We'll be your eyes

我们就是你的眼睛

Fine

好吧

One more thing

还有个玩意儿

This is a subsonic impact sensor

这是个次音速冲击传感器

If sheldon gets out of bed and starts to walk

如果谢尔顿下床并开始走路

This device will register it and send a signal to the laptop

这个器件会记录下来并把信号发回笔记本

At that point based on the geography of the apartment

由此根据这间公寓的地理结构

And the ambulatory speed of a sick sheldon

和病猫谢尔顿的步行速度

You'll have 7 seconds to get out glasses or no glasses

你有7秒钟的时间出来带眼镜或者不戴眼镜

Won't my footsteps set it off

我的脚步声不会干扰它判断吗?

No you'll be on your hands and knees

不会你只能用你的手和膝盖走路

You'll need to get the sensor as close as you can to sheldon's room

你要把这个传感器放到离谢尔顿尽可能近的地方

How do I carry it if I'm on my hands and knees

我用手和膝盖走路我怎么带着这个玩意?

Stay low

低一点

Bear left

左转

now keep true what

-现在直给 -什么

it means "go straight " then just say "go straight "

-意思是"一直走" -说"一直走"不就得了

You don't say "go straight "

你报方位的时候

When you're giving bearings you say "keep true "

不说"一直走" 是说"直给"

All right

好吧

I just hit my head

我把头给撞了

Because you didn't keep true

因为你没"直给"

Okay turn right

好啦右转

The picture's breaking up

图像受损了

Angle your head to the right

把你的脑袋往右斜

Now a little more

再来点儿

Little more

再来点儿

That's it now just keep true

好了现在直给吧

You're close enough to sheldon's room deploy the sensor

你离谢尔顿的屋子已经很近了可以部署传感器了

Now turn it on

现在把它打开

It wasn't on

它没开着吗?

Then why did I have to crawl

那我干嘛还要爬着进来

No I guess you didn't

是我想你可以不用

Okay it's on

好了打开了

Good from this point forward you will have to crawl

好从现在开始你就得爬着走了

I know

明白

Hang on the sensor's picking up something turn your head back

等等传感器探测到了什么把头转回去

You rat bastard

你真不是个东西

Told you the sensor would work

看传感器能用的吧

You deliberately stuck me with sheldon

你成心让我在这陪着谢尔顿活受罪

Come on I had to you see what he's like

没办法我也是不得以啊你也看到谢尔顿什么样了

Penny I'm hungry

潘妮我饿了

It's okay sweetie good news leonard's home

好的亲爱的有好消息里奥纳德回来了

Here you go good luck bye

交给你了祝你好运再见

Leonard I'm hungry

里奥纳德我饿了

Penny take me with you

潘妮把我带上吧

I want grilled cheese

我想吃烤芝士三明治

Do you think penny will come here and take care of us

你觉得潘妮会过来照顾咱们吗

I don't think penny's ever coming here again

我觉得潘妮再也不会到这来了

I'm very congested

我鼻塞得厉害

Yeah so

怎么?

Could you go to the kitchen

你能不能帮我去厨房

And get me the turkey baster labeled "mucous"

拿一个标有"分泌粘液"的胶头滴管

If I stand I'll vomit

我一站起来我就会吐的

Under the sink yellow tupper ware bowl

在水槽下面黄色的特百惠碗