生活大爆炸-S10E12_生活大爆炸

S01

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Hey can you help me put some of the food out

能帮忙把食物摆出来吗

Yeah Let me finish packing this stuff up

好我收拾完这些就帮你

You know how Sheldon is if he sees Christmas stuff

你也不是不知道谢尔顿在元旦后看到

lying around after New Year's

圣诞节摆饰还在会有啥反应

Yeah but he doesn't live here anymore

可是他都不住这里了

Well he doesn't live at Walmart but he still threw

他也不住商场啊可是他还是会

a tantrum when he saw Marshmallow Peeps after Easter

因为复活节后店里还卖复活节糖果而暴怒

And that's the same man who complains

而正是这位仁兄也抱怨过

you can't find Marshmallow Peeps after Easter

复活节后买不到复活节糖呢

Oh It's Bernadette She says they're running late

伯纳黛特说他们会晚到一会

"The baby threw up on Howard

"宝宝吐在了霍华德身上

and then Howard threw up on Howard "

接着霍华德也吐到了霍华德身上"

Well he didn't throw up on the baby That's a win

至少他没吐到宝宝身上不幸中大幸啊

Hello Hi

-你们好 -好啊

Hi Welcome back How was Texas

欢迎回来德州老家如何啊

Oh you know The Lone Star state

也就是那样德州德州孤星之州

That should be its Yelp rating

这个州在点评网也只值一颗孤星

It was not a great trip

不是一趟太高兴的旅程

Well you're home now

现在回家就好啦

Yeah It is good to be home

对啊回到家太开心了

I Oh good Lord Is that mistletoe

我的老天那是榭寄生吗

Don't you maniacs own a calendar

你们这些疯子家里没日历吗

I told him to take it down He would not listen to me

我叫他收起来了他就是不听我的话

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait

The Earth began to cool

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

That all started with a big bang

Bang

By aBU 201702

生

活

大

爆

炸

第十季第十二集

Did you at least have a good flight down there

你们的飞行旅途还算愉快吧

It was fine

挺好的

Other than the weird tasting juice Amy gave me

除了艾米给我的那杯味道怪怪的果汁

I slept the whole way

我一路都在睡觉

So what happened in Texas that was so bad

所以是在德州发生了什么惨事

And before our next drive to Comic Con

在我们下次开车去漫展之前

I need the name of that juice

你记得告诉我那果汁叫什么

Well we were on our way to my mother's house

当时我们正在去我妈妈家的路上

How did we get in the car

我们是怎么上的车

Hold on

等等

How did you get him in the car

对啊你是怎么把他弄上车的

I rented one of those carts

我租了台推车

pushed him toward the open door

车门打开把他推进去

and just let inertia take care of the rest

剩下的就交给惯性了

So while we're at your mother's house

我们去拜访你妈妈的时候

it might be a good time to tell her that we're living together

正好可以顺便告诉她我们同居了

Do we have to

有这必要吗

I really don't want to hear the religious lecture

我实在不想听她那套基督教大道理

Maybe there won't be one

或许她不会说你呢

There's always one

肯定会有的

She gave it to my sister about her boyfriend

我姐交男朋友的时候她就说了

my brother about his girlfriend

我哥交女朋友时也说了

my father about his girlfriend

我爸交女朋友时也说了

That one had some un Christian words in it

她说我爸那次还骂了基督教徒不太该说的字眼

Well she likes me

她挺喜欢我的

You know there's a chance she might be okay with it

有可能她对此不会有意见呢

Eh I don't know

这很难说

I am her precious little boy

毕竟我是她的宝贝儿子

And you did take my flower

而你摘了人家的花蕊

Do boys have flowers

男生也有"花蕊"吗

Who knows what he has down there

谁知道他底下是啥构造啊

Anyway

到家后...

Thank you God for the food we are about to receive

感谢主赐给我们桌上的美食

and for the nourishment of our bodies

食物给我们身体补充营养

and bless the hands that prepared it

保佑准备这些食物的人

Amen

阿门

Given that your hands prepared it

准备这些食物的人是你

isn't that a little self serving

你这么祷告是不是有些假公济私

You start changing the words to the prayers

一开始是乱改祷告词

next thing you know you're in a church with a guitar

很快你就会抱着吉他去教堂把祷告词随便唱出来

Thank you for cooking it looks delicious

谢谢您做饭看起来很好吃

Oh it's my pleasure Mm

给大家做饭是我的荣幸

I'm so glad y'all could make it

我很高兴你们能来

So tell me what's going on back home

跟我说说你们在纽约最近怎么样

Well uh Howard and Bernadette had their baby

霍华德跟伯纳黛特刚喜获千金

Oh that's wonderful

太好了

Now have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular

他们是要按犹太习俗还是正常的基督教习俗养啊

Welcome to Texas

欢迎来到德州

They haven't said

他们还没决定呢

Anyway we uh we also have some exciting news to share

其实呢我们自己也有点好消息分享

Oh wait wait I Shouldn't we just eat

等等等等我们乖乖安静吃饭吧

You know I mean God did take time out of his busy schedule

毕竟主可是从他忙碌的日程里抽空

to bless these Sloppy Joes

祝福了这些邋遢乔汉堡呢

Come on Shelly tell me your news

说啊谢利发生什么事了

All right This is on you

好吧出事了就怪你

Amy and I are living together in sin

我跟艾米充满罪孽地婚前同居了

like a couple of New Yorkers

就像纽约人那样

Now while you scold us I'm going to get a knife and a fork

你训斥我们时容我去拿一套刀叉

Joe may be sloppy but Sheldon's not

乔可以邋遢但谢尔顿不能邋遢

Well thank you for letting me know

谢谢你告诉我这事

and I for one am thrilled

但我感到十分高兴

What

什么

What Where's the judgment

你不是该先入为主批评我们吗

W Where's the fire and brimstone

炼狱之火那套说辞呢

Where's the part where you tell us we're going to Hell

还有你说我们会下地狱受折磨

and I say have you seen the size of the bugs outside

然后我说你看看外面虫子的大小

We're already there

我们早就在地狱了

Obviously I would prefer

的确我是会比较希望

if you weren't living out of wedlock

你们婚前不要先同居

but given your special circumstances

但考虑到你情况特殊

I'm very happy for you

我对此甚是喜闻乐见

And what "special circumstances" are those

你说的"特殊情况"是指什么

Oh boy I think it's about to get bad

妈啊好戏马上就要上演啦

Shelly how do I put this

谢利我该怎么跟你说呢

By your third birthday you had memorized

你三岁就能记住

over a thousand different kinds of trains

超过一千种不同的火车了

and I never imagined

而我从来没想到

a woman getting aboard any of them

会有女人愿意"上"你这趟车

What so You thought I was going to be alone

什么所以你一直认为

for the rest of my life

我会孤独终老吗

No Just for the middle part

不孤独大半辈子而已

'Cause at the end I assumed there'd be nurses

因为等你老了会有护士来照顾你

Well this is highly insulting

这也太侮辱人了

Sheldon don't overreact

谢尔顿别小题大做

I'm the child she was worried about

她最担心的孩子居然是我

I have a brother and sister

我有一个哥哥和一个姐姐

whose combined intellectual wattage

那两个人的智商瓦数加起来

couldn't power a potato clock

都不够给玩具土豆钟供电

把土豆变成电池般为电子钟供电

一种科学实验玩具钟

if I spotted them the potato

而且还得是我帮他们指出土豆在哪

Blah blah blah blah blah

叽里咕噜噼里啪啦

Blah blah blah blah blah blah

叽里咕噜噼里啪啦

What

什么

Well I was in my room

当时我进房间了

I couldn't hear what they were saying

听不见她们说了些什么

I'll take over from here

接下来我来说

He's been in there a long time

他躲房间里很久了

Should I go talk to him

我该去和他谈谈吗

He's upset with me I should be the one who talks to him

他是生我的气应该是我去和他谈

Are you going to

你准备去吗

Oh heck no

门都没有

Sheldon what what are you doing

谢尔顿你这是干什么

Just being the un socialized eccentric

做一个不适应社会的怪胎

my mother always thought I was

反正我妈一直是这么看我的

You startin' to see why I didn't go in there

现在你明白我为什么不去和他谈了吧

Sheldon if you're trying to prove me wrong

谢尔顿如果你想证明我是错的

the tighty whities on your head ain't changing my mind

你头上的白色三角裤可不会让我改变看法

We're ignoring the fins Okay

我们就这么无视脚蹼了好吧

Yeah And I don't understand why you're taking her side

而且我不明白你为什么站在她那边

By being my girlfriend

你是我女朋友

she's saying you're a weirdo too

那表示她也觉得你是个怪胎

I don't think that's what she's saying

我觉得你妈不是那个意思

And

现然后呢

That's exactly what she was saying

他妈就是那个意思

Can you believe my mother thinks we're both strange

你能相信吗我妈居然认为我们都是怪胎

Absolutely not

简直难以置信

That's too loud

声音太大太心虚了

Absolutely not

简直难以置信

Well after that Sheldon and I

闹了那么一出谢尔顿和我

got out of the house for a while

出门待了一阵子

Well first we buttered my feet to get the swim fins off

我们先往我脚上涂了黄油把脚蹼拿下来

and then we went out

然后再出门

You know I'm sorry your mother made you feel bad

你妈让你难过了我很遗憾

But you know at the end of the day she was wrong

但归根结底她错了

because you're not alone

因为你没有孤独一生

You're right

你说得对

I have Leonard and Howard and Raj

我有莱纳德霍华德拉杰

Stuart Penny

斯图尔特佩妮

Leonard's mom Bernadette Wil Wheaton

莱纳德他妈伯纳黛特威尔·惠顿

What about the woman who just buttered your big flat feet

刚往你的大宽脚上涂黄油的女人排在哪

I was going chronologically

我是按认识的时间顺序说的

You're right between Koothrappali's father

你在库萨帕里他爸

and Omar the one eyed Sparkletts guy

和独眼龙瓶装水男奥马尔之间

Well let's try to not let it ruin the rest of our trip

别让这件事把咱们接下来的行程也毁了

I knew we should've never mentioned

我就知道我们从一开始

us living together in the first place

就不该把同居这件事告诉她

She was gonna find out eventually

她早晚会发现的

Disagree

我不这么认为

We've known about evolution since 1859

人类1859年就知道进化论了

She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat

她至今还相信诺亚和他的神奇动物园破船

This could have all been avoided

如果你当时听我的话

if you'd only listened to me

事情就不会变成这样了

Sheldon

谢尔顿

I knew your mother was fine with us living together

我知道你妈不会介意咱俩同居

because I already told her we were

因为我早就告诉她了

Why would you do that

你为什么会那么做

This was a potential issue

因为这是颗定时炸弹

so I got out ahead of it

所以我提前下手解除

and I managed the situation for you

帮你把问题处理掉了

You "managed the situation "

你"帮我把问题处理掉了"

That's right

没错

So my mother thought I was incapable of finding a mate

所以我妈认为我没能力找到伴侣

and my mate thinks I'm incapable of running my own life

而我的伴侣认为我没能力掌控我自己的生活

Not your whole life

不是全部生活都不行

I mean science You got that

科学那部分你没问题

Organizing your sock drawer you're the king

整理装袜子的抽屉你世界第一

But understanding how other people are feeling

但理解他人感受这部分

that's a weak spot for you

这是你的弱点

I have gotten much better at that

在这点上我已经进步很多了

Have you How am I feeling right now

是吗那我现在是什么感觉

What the How should I know

什么我上哪猜去啊

Excited Itchy Give me the first letter

兴奋痒痒好歹把第一个字告诉我

You and I are in a relationship

你和我是情侣

I help you with your shortcomings

你不足的地方我帮你补足

and you help me with mine

我不足的地方你帮我补足

How would you feel if I contacted

如果我背着你联系你老妈

your mother behind your back

你会是什么感觉

Delighted that you showed any interest in my family at all

高兴啊想不到你居然对我家人感兴趣

"Delighted"

"高兴"

What Not if I guessed for a hundred years

怪不得我猜一百年也猜不着啊

Hi Hey guys

-大伙 -我们来了

Hi There's the little family

幸福小家庭到了

Hello Hello

-大家好 -大家好

And their Sherpas

还有他们的夏尔巴仆人

The baby's asleep

宝宝睡着了

can we put her in your room

我们把她放到你们房间里行吗

Yeah Go ahead Do you need help

-当然去吧 -需要帮忙吗

No I got it

不用我自己来

Doubtfire Poppins follow me

窈窕奶爸飞天保姆跟我来

Sorry we're late

抱歉来晚了

Oh it's no problem Amy and Sheldon were just telling us

没关系艾米和谢尔顿正在说

about their trip to Texas

他们去德州的事

Yeah Here

没关系

I'll catch you up

我粗略地给你们讲一遍

How did we get in the car

我们是怎么上的车

Stop

打住

Okay They told Mary they were living together

他们把同居的事告诉了玛丽

there was a fight he got his feelings hurt

一阵唇枪舌战后谢尔顿心灵很受伤

then he put underwear on his head

于是他把内裤套在了头上

On purpose

他自己故意套的

not the way it used to happen in high school

而不是像高中时那样被恶霸故意套上

I was acting odd intentionally

我是故意表现怪异

Really So you can control it

真的吗所以你可以控制你的怪异程度吗

Okay Then what happened

好了接下来发生了什么

Well there's really not much left to tell

接下来就没什么了

I decided that my mother views me as a child

我觉得我妈一贯把我当小孩子看

because I never went through a rebellious phase

是因为我从来没经历过青春叛逆期

so I got an earring

于是我去打了耳洞

My mother made me take it out

我妈非逼着我把耳环取下来

Amy put alcohol on it

艾米用酒精帮我消了毒

And here we are

就是这样

What did we miss

我们错过了什么精彩好戏

I couldn't explain it if I tried

我就算想解释也解释不清

So tell me how did Sheldon look with an earring

告诉我谢尔顿戴耳环好看吗

Like the pirate who helps the other pirates connect to the internet

就像一个会帮同伴接网线的宅男海盗一样

So what did you and Leonard do

你和莱纳德做了些什么

Actually we got in a pretty nasty fight

老实说我们俩也是吵得不可开交

It might've been the worst one we've ever had

可能是有史以来吵得最厉害的一次

Oh my God what happened

天啊到底是怎么了

Well we had started binge watching Luke Cage together

我俩疯狂迷上了看《卢克·凯奇》这部剧

and it was kind of our thing and then

就像是我俩的专属节目

I find out that she watched two episodes without me

结果我发现她背着我多看了两集

It's like I was excited for a present and got socks

感觉就像我期盼已久的圣诞礼物居然只是袜子

I don't understand how that turns into

我不明白这怎么会导致

the worst fight of your life

你们俩吵了史上最厉害的一次

I don't understand what's wrong with socks

我不明白袜子有什么不好的

To be fair we may have been on edge

老实说我们之前因为圣诞树

because of the Christmas tree

就处于爆发的边缘了

What happened with the tree

圣诞树又怎么了

You do make a cute elf

你扮小精灵还挺可爱的

Oh yeah

是吗

And you thought Spock ears were only good for Comic Con

你还说斯波克的耳朵只适合参加动漫展呢

Hey hey I just found a farm

我找到了一个农场

where they let you chop down your own tree

允许顾客自己砍圣诞树

Oh cool I'll be like a pointy eared Paul Bunyan

那我就会像是尖耳朵的大力士保罗·班扬

Stupid idea

这个想法太蠢了

No what's stupid is a physicist

真正蠢的是一名物理学家

who doesn't understand when you swing an axe

居然不知道在挥斧头的时候

you don't let go

你不能放手

For the tenth time my mittens were slippery

我第十次澄清我的连指手套打滑了

It's 70 degrees you didn't need mittens

外面有21度你不需要戴连指手套

You know how easily I blister

你明知道我很容易起水泡

Yes yes you bruise you peel

是是是怕撞又容易破皮

It's like I'm married to an old piece of fruit

感觉就像嫁给了一颗老水果

Look we could keep fighting and let it ruin our night

我们可以继续吵架整晚都别想好

or or we can stop and try to salvage the evening

也可以停止争吵试着挽救今晚

Fine Thank you

-好吧 -谢谢合作

Leonard

莱纳德

Yeah

怎么了

There's something on the windshield

挡风玻璃上有东西

You need a break

需要休息一下吗

Do not need a break

我不需要休息

There's no shame in asking for a break

想休息就说没啥丢脸的

If I need a break I'll ask for a break

我想休息了我就会说

Leonard

莱纳德

Yeah

怎么了

There's a tree on you

你身上有棵树

You want to decorate it tonight

你想今晚来装饰它吗

Yeah with gasoline and a match Sure

用汽油跟火柴吗当然好

I hope it kills us both

我希望那生物把我们杀了

By the way if anyone asks

对了如果以后有人问起

the elevator shaft always had a tree in it

电梯间里从很久以前就一直有棵树

So Bernadette if I express interest in your baby

伯纳黛特如果我表达出对你的孩子有兴趣

will you promise not to make me touch it

你能发誓不逼我摸她吗

Sure

好的

Hey how's life with your baby

跟宝宝的生活还好吗

Really You're never gonna touch their baby

不是吧你打算以后都不碰他们宝宝吗

To this day I've never touched Stuart

我至今也从没碰过斯图尔特

It's been wonderful Sheldon thanks for asking

很好很愉快谢尔顿谢谢关心

Oh please stop crying I'm begging you

别哭了我求你了

I don't know what else to do

我不知道还有什么招了

My boobs are empty Do you want lasagna

我的奶水都没了你要吃千层面吗

Shh shh shh it's okay it's okay

嘘嘘好啦好啦

What have we done

我们犯了大错啊

Hey I found superhero baby wipes

我找到超级英雄婴儿湿巾啦

the perfect way to clean up crime

能完美收拾坏人

and tushies

以及宝宝屁屁

It took me two hours to get her down

我花了两个小时才把她哄睡

Oh you you relax I'll take this shift

你歇着这回我来

You know in India when my baby brother cried like that

在印度的时候我小弟弟一哭成这德行

the servants would just take him far away

仆人们就会把他带到很远的地方去

so we couldn't hear it

这样我们就听不见了

Not always sometimes we'd leave

不总是这样有时候是我们走远

Hey he got her to stop

他把孩子哄好了

That was so fast

真够快的

Oh he's really good with her

他真会哄这孩子

Yeah he has a gift

对他有天赋

What's the matter

怎么啦

Nothing these are happy tears

没事这是喜极而泣

Oh good

那就好

No they're not you bozo

才不是你个蠢货

How come Stuart can get her to stop crying but I can't

凭啥斯图尔特就能让她不哭我却不行

I mean it's Stuart

那可是斯图尔特啊

Maybe she's playing possum until he goes away

也许她是装死好让他走开

Not funny

不好笑

She's tired that was funny

她太累了你说得很好笑

Everyone's a better mom than me

大家都比我这个妈妈称职

Oh don't take it so personally

别总把错往身上揽

maybe your baby's just a jerk

也许只是你家孩子特别熊呢

Wait so how does the story end

后来怎么了

Is the baby a jerk

到底是因为你家孩子熊

or is Bernadette a bad mother

还是因为伯纳黛特不是个称职的妈

Sheldon W What

-谢尔顿 -怎么了

Is there another twist coming

剧情还有反转吗

Is the baby not theirs at all

难道说孩子根本不是他们的

Ignore him

别搭理他

How did you get the baby to stop crying

你怎么让孩子不哭的

Oh I just talked to her

就是跟她聊天

I've been told the sound of my voice puts people to sleep

总有人跟我说一听我说话就想睡觉

You poor things you must be exhausted

你这可怜的人儿肯定累坏了

It has been hard to sleep with all the crying

哭得太凶了确实睡不好

How can she hate me

她怎么能恨我

I make her food in my chest

我可是用胸部在哺育她

It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine

简直跟恨冻酸奶机一样嘛

She doesn't hate you stop saying that

她并不恨你别这么说了

Now you hate me too

现在连你也恨我了

Shh I don't hate you

我不恨你

It says here that up to 80% of new mothers

网上说高达八成的产妇

experience baby blues

都患过产后抑郁症

And that the best thing to do

最好的办法就是

is reassure them that they're doing a good job

让她们相信她们做得很好

Bernadette

伯纳黛特

you are doing a good job

你做得很棒了

Thank you Sheldon I'm feeling better now

谢谢你谢尔顿我现在感觉好点了

Thank you Internet

你该谢的是互联网

I'm telling you with the right YouTube video

我就跟你说只要找对了视频

I can give Howard a vasectomy

我都可以给霍华德做绝育

So things started to turn around

后来情况有好转吗

Yeah eventually I figured out how to get the baby to sleep

有最后我终于知道怎么让孩子睡觉了

Please tell me you didn't use Amy's magic juice

别跟我说你是用艾米的神奇果汁

Bernie

妮妮

She's asleep

她睡着了

Great

太好了

And where are you

可你在哪啊

Down here

下面

This is new

新招啊

I didn't know what else to do

我不知道该怎么办了

It worked

但成功了

Well I'd say that's thinking outside the box

我想说这真是不按套路走的想法

but come on

但... 你都套进去了

Don't make me laugh

别让我笑出来

Do you need help getting out

需要我扶你出来吗

I think I live here now

以后我就住这了

It's fine

挺好的

Is it okay if I get some sleep

我去睡会觉行吗

Yeah go ahead

行去吧

Good job Mommy

干得好妈咪

I'm proud of you

我为你骄傲

Don't make me cry either

也不要让我哭

Good night

晚安

I love both my girls

我爱你们

We love you too

我们也爱你

I can't believe you fit in the crib

真不敢相信你能躺进婴儿摇篮

I could take a bath in the sink

我还能用洗手池泡澡呢

I don't but I can

我不做但是我做得到

So how were your holidays

你假期过得怎么样

Oh thank you for asking

多谢关心

Uh I uh went to visit my grandmother

我去看了我奶奶

She's in Bakersfield

她住在贝克斯菲尔德

Uh usually my brother and sister go

通常是我兄弟姐妹去

Oh come on

要不要这样

That was fun thank you

玩得很开心谢谢你们

Yeah thanks

对谢谢

Our pleasure See you guys at work

小事一桩上班见了伙计们

Be there bright and early

早早儿地到啊

Not me paternity leave

我不去放产假

A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals

一个小婴儿让他老婆的生殖器受苦受难

and he gets time off

而他居然能休假

With pay sucka

还是带薪的哦废柴

Forgot the baby still new to this

差点忘了宝宝新手上路