生活大爆炸-S07E23_生活大爆炸

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Almost there You're doing great

快到了你们做得很好

Thanks for lifting my spirits

感谢你的支持

Next time try lifting the box

下次能出力"支持"一下盒子吗

快点搬行吗

I don't need a treadmill

我不需要用跑步机

The doctor says you need to get exercise

医生说你需要运动

I get plenty of exercise

我平常已经运动够多了

Crushing my will to live isn't exercise

摧毁我的生存意志不算运动

If she isn't gonna use it then why are we doing this

如果她不打算用我们辛苦搬这个干嘛

She'll use it

她会用的

All I need is to rig it

我只需在机器前装根鱼干

with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham

绑上蜜汁火腿就行

All right

好了

Now what

下一步干嘛

We set it up in Howie's old room

把它搬进华仔旧房间里组装

Do you know how to set it up

你知道怎么组装吗

Please I'm an MIT trained engineer

拜托我可是麻省理工的工程师

I think I can handle

区区一台跑步机...

Ma look out

妈小心

I told you this thing would kill me

我就说这玩意会搞死我

生

活

大

爆

炸

第七季第二十三集

So she's gonna be laid up for at least six weeks

她得卧床足足六周以上

Poor Mrs Wolowitz

沃洛维茨太太真可怜

Should we do something for her

我们该为她做点什么吗

I know

我知道做啥

Let's go see the new Spider Man movie

咱们去看新出的《蜘蛛侠2》吧

Sheldon we're talking about your friend's mother

谢尔顿那可是你好友的母亲

She got hurt

她受伤了

I thought that subject had run its course

我还以为那个话题聊够了

so I changed it

所以我换个话题

It's called reading the room Amy

这叫眼力见儿艾米

大家好啊

Hey how were things on the set

今天拍片还顺利吗

Uh pretty good actually

挺顺利的其实

So the movie's not as bad as you thought

所以那电影其实没你想象中那么烂吗

Oh no it is

真就那么烂

but I decided instead of complaining about it

但我决定与其每天抱怨个不停

I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all

不如卯足全力去做好它

Good for you Thanks

-佩服佩服 -客气客气

There's no reason why I shouldn't be

在慢慢转化成杀人恶猿的

the best bisexual go go dancer slowly transforming

史上最炫酷的双性恋热场舞者界中

into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen

我没理由当不了业界之王啊

I don't know

那可不好说

The bisexual gorilla go go dancer in Schindler's List

《辛德勒名单》里的双性恋热场舞者杀人猿

is tough to beat

很难演赢他啊

Ah very good

这笑话好笑

Because a gorilla go go dancer of any sexual preference

因为任何性取向的热场舞者杀人恶猿

would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust

在跟纳粹大屠杀有关的电影中都会很突兀

It only gets funnier when you explain it Sheldon

谢尔顿你解释出来笑点"加倍"啊

I know

我知道

Okay she's all settled in the guest room

我把她在客房里安顿好了

Maybe we should get one of those machines

我们是不是该买一台那种

to help her up the stairs

能帮忙她上楼梯的机械

You mean a forklift

你是指叉车吗

Howie I'm sorry

-华仔 -对不起

I just can't deal with this right now

小华子真心做不到啊

Taking care of your own mother How can you say that

照顾你亲妈吗你怎么能说这种话

Bernie she's gonna be off her feet for six to eight weeks

妮妮她接下来六到八周会不便于行

Are you prepared to feed her wash her

你准备好喂食她帮她洗澡

and take her to the toilet

带她上厕所了吗

I would do it for my mother Yeah of course you would

-我愿意这么照顾我妈啊 -你当然会啦

you're a loving person

你是有爱心的人

I'm what my people would call a putz

我就是犹太人称为"贱精"的那种人

Look I'm not crazy about the idea

我也并不是很期待做那些事

but what other choice do we have

只是我们还有别的选择吗

We get a nurse

我们可以请个看护啊

Preferably someone from a Third World country

最好是个来自第三世界国家的看护

who's used to suffering and unpleasant smells

因为他们习惯了受折磨与闻臭味

You'd hire a total stranger

你会请个陌生人

to take care of the woman who raised you

来照顾抚养你长大的那个女人吗

That's so cruel

太没人性了吧

Not if we pay them well

如果我们多付点钱

and let them listen to the music of their homeland

再让他们听家乡的音乐就不会太没人性啦

I need to tinkle

我想要嘘嘘

Sounds like a job for a loving person

这活儿最合适有爱心的人干啦

Would you like me to play some Polish music

在你扛她去厕所的时候

while you carry her to the toilet

需要放点波兰音乐吗

美国的看护与家庭清洁业中有许多是来自波兰的女性

You are a putz

你果然是个贱精

As advertised

假一赔十哦

Thanks for coming with me

谢谢你陪我来

Thanks for inviting me after everyone else said no

谢谢你在所有人拒绝你后邀请我来

Aren't you gonna get 3 D glasses

你不拿付3D眼镜吗

I brought my own

我自己带了

No sense in risking bridge of nose herpes

我可不想染上鼻梁疱疹

Is that a real thing

真有这个病吗

Well until they invent nose condoms

在有人发明鼻部保险套之前

I'm not finding out

我不想以"鼻"犯险

Emily Hey

艾米丽

Oh hey Raj

拉杰

Uh this is my friend Sheldon

这位是我朋友谢尔顿

Sheldon this is Emily

谢尔顿她就是艾米丽

Oh yes you're the dermatologist

知道了你就是那位皮肤科医师

I went for a walk yesterday without sunscreen

我昨天去散步没有擦防晒霜

Do you see anything on my forehead

我的额头部位有任何

that I should be concerned about

我该担心的病灶吗

Um you know what I better go

其实我有点赶时间

My movie's about to start

我的电影要开始了

Are you here alone

你是自己来的吗

No not really

不算吧

What do you mean "not really"

什么叫"不算吧"

Hey should we get our seats Yeah

-我们进去吧 -好

It was nice seeing you Um I'll call you later

很高兴遇到你我晚点打给你

Yeah okay

好吧

That was awkward right

刚才真尴尬是吧

Is it because she's dating you

尴尬是因为撞见你的妞

but was out with that other fellow

跟别的男人约会吗

Yes

是的

Good I thought she saw something on my forehead

那就好我还以为是因为看见我的病灶了呢

And action

开拍

Please don't shut me out

不要将我拒之门外

Go away

走开

Just go away

快走开

I swear I will find a way to turn you back

我发誓我一定会想办法把你变回来的

What gave you the right

你凭什么

to mix my DNA with that of a killer gorilla

把我的DNA混进了杀人恶猿的DNA

I was trying to save your life

我当时一心只想让你活下去

Life What life Look at me I'm a monster

活着有何用你看我现在就是个怪兽

And now I have blood on my hands or

我的双手沾满鲜血

paws I don't know

或我的双爪随便啦

You can't give up I love you

你不能放弃我爱你

I love you too

我也爱你

But I'm afraid I love killing more

但恐怕我更爱杀戮

Like one day I might actually try and kill you

或许有一天我会试图...杀了你

And cut All right

停很好

All right let's set up for the next scene

可以准备下一场戏了

Actually you know what Can we do one more

导演能再拍一次吗

I think I could do it better

刚才没发挥好

Let's just move on

就这样吧

No one cares Well I care

-没人会介意 -但我会

I mean look if we're gonna do this

我觉得既然要拍

why not try and make it something we're actually proud of

何不好好拍一部让我们引以为傲的电影

Look sweetie

小宝贝

this movie is garbage

这是部垃圾电影

but you should be happy about that

但你应该开心

'cause if it was a good movie you wouldn't be in it

因为如果这是部好电影那根本轮不到你来演

Whoa whoa hang on

打住打住

There's no need to insult her

你没必要羞辱她吧

And who are you

你是哪位啊

I'm her boyfriend

我是她的男朋友

Isn't she too hot for you

不觉得高攀了吗

A little yeah

有点吧

Well boyfriend get off my set

好了男朋友滚出我的片场

You can't do that He's with me

不许他是来陪我的

You know what You can get off my set too

是吗那你也可以滚出我的片场了

You're fired

你被解雇了

What You can't fire me I'm the star

什么你不能解雇我我可是主演啊

I'm the girl that goes bananas It says so on the poster

我可是"疯妹子" 电影宣传海报上写着呢

Yeah but we just shot the last scene where we see your face

但刚才已经拍完了你露脸的最后一场戏

So from now own the star of the movie is whoever wears this

所以从现在开始谁戴这个谁就是主演

Hey if you're gonna fire her

如果你要解雇她

then you have to fire me too

那我也不干了

Wow that fell apart really fast

靠说炒人就炒人啊

Thanks for skipping the movie

谢谢你不看电影陪我回来

I couldn't sit in that theater for two hours

我实在没办法静下心看两个小时的电影

wondering about Emily and that guy

而不去想艾米丽和那个男人

Oh quite all right

真的没关系

After my forehead melanoma scare

我得了额头黑素瘤恐慌症后

I've learned not to sweat the small stuff

已经学会了不再为小事斤斤计较

Well sorry

不好意思

I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea

我这里没有做印度拉茶的所有原料

You don't have to make me anything

你不必为我做什么

No I do You're upset about Emily

不行你在为艾米丽烦恼

and you're Indian

而且你是印度人

I need to make you chai tea

我一定要给你做拉茶

Now I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds

我这里其他原料都有就差豆蔻籽

Do you happen to have any on you

你会不会碰巧有随身携带吧

Sorry I left them in my turban

抱歉我落在我的印度头巾里了

Oh I'll make English breakfast tea

那我只好给你泡英国早餐茶了

They destroyed your culture

反正他们摧毁了你们的文化

18世纪下半叶印度曾沦为英国的殖民地

That's close enough

也算跟印度有点关系吧

You know I'm curious

其实我很好奇

why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man

你干嘛对艾米丽跟其他男人出去这么不爽

Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else

如果艾米跟别的男人外出你不会觉得不爽吗

Can't happen

不可能

We have an ironclad relationship agreement

我们的恋爱协议无懈可击

which precludes her from physical contact

里面规定了不许她跟我之外的男人

with anyone other than me

发生任何身体上的接触

But you don't have sex with her either

但你也没跟她上床啊

Slick huh

高招吧

To be truthful Emily and I haven't dated that long

老实说我和艾米丽约会的时间不算长

and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other

我们也还没说好只跟对方处对象

Have you had intercourse

那你们发生性关系了吗

没有

Well stick to your guns

坚持你的立场[收好你的"枪"]

There will be a lot of pressure

未来的路将会压力山大

I'm hungry again

我又饿了

It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock

她就像全球最肥的咕咕钟

You know you're always talking about having a baby someday

你总是希望有天能拥有孩子

This is exactly what it's gonna be like

但有了孩子就会是这情况啊

No it's not

才不会呢

Come on The constant fussing eating pooping

怎么不会整天哇哇叫要吃要拉

burping drooling

打嗝还流口水

We're even waiting for the day

连她哪天能开始走路

when she can finally walk on her own

我们都还得慢慢盼着呢

Maybe you're right

也许你说得对

Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth

还有在地上发现任何东西也都直接塞嘴里

I'm just telling you now if we do have kids

我只是提前告诉你如果日后有孩子

don't expect me to do all the work

别指望老娘一个人干全部的活

Hey I'm a very paternal person

我骨子里也是个慈父啊

I'd be excellent at taking care of a baby

我一定很会照顾小孩

I'm still hungry

我还饿着呢

I'm coming you big baby

来啦你个死老小孩

You know the only thing worse than doing a movie

你们知道比拍一部会在屁股上

where they glue monkey hair to your ass

粘满猴子毛的电影还惨的是什么吗

is getting fired from a movie

是被一部会在屁股上

where they glue monkey hair to your ass

粘满猴子毛的电影给解雇

Forget it man it's crap

算了啦反正是大烂片

You just move on to the next thing

迎接下一个角色就好了

Yeah well it's easy for you to say

你当然能说得这么轻巧啦

You used to be famous

你是过气红星

Hey I just lost a job for you

喂我才刚为你丢了工作呢

You're right I'm sorry you're famous

行对不起你是当红影星

Penny it's not about being famous

佩妮跟红不红无关

It's about the art

重点是为了艺术

It's about the passion we have for our craft

是为艺术事业献身的热情

I have an audition for Sharknado 2

《鲨卷风》的续集找我去试镜

搞笑B级大烂片讲龙卷风卷起鲨鱼袭击城市

If I book this I am totally gonna pay you back for this beer

要是我选上了一定还你啤酒钱

God what am I doing with my life

天啊我到底是在折腾什么啊

You having second thoughts about acting

怎么你又不想演戏了吗

You were on set you saw what it was like

你也在片场你也看到啦

Yeah but it's not always that bad

话虽如此但也不是总那么糟糕

Oh really

是吗

What about when you did uh

还记得你以前

Anne Frank at that cute little theater

在那个小剧场演《安妮日记》的事吗

It was over a bowling alley

什么剧场那是在保龄球场

Yeah but

没错可是

there was ample parking

停车位还挺足的

Are you done

你说完了吗

And you were so good in the TV commercial

你的电视广告也拍得相当赞啊

It was for hemorrhoid cream

那是支痔疮膏广告

And I got itchy and swollen just watching you

我光看你演就又痒又肿了

Leonard you are really not cheering me up

莱纳德你这么说我是真心笑不出来

Come on

别这样

How can you be sad when you're going home

身边有我这种身长168的大帅哥

with all five foot six of this

你怎么能不开心嘛

You think you're five foot six that's funny

你觉得自己有168 好搞笑

I don't understand it

我不明白

I'm a nice guy

我这么好的人

I have a great job

工作也不错

I'm well educated

受过高等教育

come from a good family

家境优渥

Why don't women want to be with me

为什么女人就不愿意跟我在一起呢

An interesting question

这个问题耐人深思

Well

那么...

good night

晚安不送

Don't send me home

别赶我回家

I can't be alone right now

我现在不想孤身一人

That's your problem

你的问题就是这个

You can't be alone

你没办法忍受孤独

What do you mean

你什么意思

How many women have you had dates with

你至今为止约会过几个女人

Eleven

11个

How many of those women

这些女人当中有几个

did you think would become your perfect companion

你觉得能当你的完美伴侣呢

Eleven

11个

Wait

等等

Do I count the 200 pound Sailor Moon girl

在动漫展上与我和霍华德搞3p的

that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic Con

180斤美猪女战士可以算吗

Sure

可以

I'll stick with 11

还是算11个吧

She liked Howard better

她比较喜欢霍华德

Well now do you see the problem

你看到问题所在了吧

Maybe

大概吧

I I don't know

我搞不懂了

You It's late I I should

太晚了我还是...

I should go

我该走了

Look I I do get what you're saying

我明白你想说什么

Instead of desperately clinging

我不该死命纠缠

to any woman who will go out with me

每一个愿意和我约会的妹子

I need to work on my fear of being alone

我要学会面对孤单的恐惧感

I was trying to suggest chemical castration but

我本想建议你去做化学阉割的不过

it's my bedtime

人家要睡觉了

so whatever gets you out the door Good night

只要你滚你爱咋想都行晚安

Howie I'm back

华仔我回来了

Shh shh shh I just got her to sleep

嘘我刚哄她睡下

Sorry

抱歉

What took you so long

你怎么这么晚才回来

The grocery store is a few blocks away

杂货店走几条街就到了

They only had regular yogurt

他们只有普通酸奶卖

I had to go to a different store

我还得去其他商店

to get the extra fat kind your mom likes

买你妈爱吃的多脂酸奶

Then why do I smell coffee on your breath

那我怎么从你嘴里闻到了咖啡味

So what

那又怎么样

After two days of taking care of her

精疲力尽地照顾了她两天后

excuse me for stopping to get a mocha

老娘想去喝个摩卡又怎样

A mocha

喝摩卡

Well it must be nice to be queen

拿自己当皇后娘娘感觉倍儿棒是吧

Queen

皇后娘娘

I've been killing myself here

我人都快被折磨死了

Well whose fault is that

这都是谁作的孽呢

I wanted to get a nurse but you were all

我说要请看护的你却说

"I'm nice I want to take care of people "

"伦家人最好了伦家喜欢照顾人"

I'm glad I got that mocha

我喝摩卡我自豪

And you know what else I'm glad about

你知道我还为什么自豪吗

I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car

我给你买了巧克力蛋糕然后在车上吃掉了

Howard

霍华德

Thanks a lot

我谢你全家

Now I have to go rub her belly again

我现在又得去给她揉肚肚了

Thanks for letting me come over

谢谢你允许我过来

Of course

没事

Please come in

快进来吧

I just wanted to say

我是想来

how sorry I am about tonight and

为今晚的事道歉

I want to make sure that we're okay

我希望你没有生气

Uh look you and I haven't made

你我之间并没有

any commitments to each other I know

-许过任何承诺 -我知道

I just felt like I needed to explain

我只是觉得自己应该来解释一下

The guy I was with did my last tattoo

今晚那人是上次帮我纹身的师傅

and he's been asking me out for months

他这几个月一直约我出去

I finally said yes just to get it over with

所以我只好答应好让他别继续烦我

It's okay

没关系

Really

真的吗

Well I mean yeah it freaked me out a little

虽然这事让我有点惊讶

but that's my issue not yours

但这是我的问题不是你的错

If I saw you out with another woman

如果是我看到你和别的女人约会

I'd be pretty upset

我一定伤心死了

Thank you

谢谢你

Not just for being upset

不仅是谢你会伤心

but for believing that could happen

还谢你相信真会有这种事发生

Just so you know I'm not seeing anyone else

你要知道我没有和其他人约会

Well me neither

我也没有

Okay Okay

-好的 -好的

Please

请坐

So uh you you have tattoos

这么说你有纹身啊

Yeah I don't

-是的 -我没有

I have a hole in my belly button

我的肚脐上有个洞

that may or may not have been a piercing

不知道是不是脐环洞

That's cool

挺酷的

It's a piercing

是脐环洞

So uh

那么

how many tattoos

你有几处纹身

One on my shoulder

一个在肩膀上

one not on my shoulder

一个不在肩膀上

and one really not on my shoulder

还有一个 "真不在肩膀"上

It's uh

我已经

been a long time since I've seen a girl's

很久没有看到一个女生的

really not her shoulder

"真不是肩膀"的地方

Well how about you show me your piercing

那么不如你给我看你的脐环洞

and I show you my tattoos

我给你看我的纹身

But uh before I take my shirt off

但是在我脱衣服前

I just need like ten minutes to do some crunches

给我十分钟时间做几个仰卧起坐

Oh my God

我的天

What a day

这一天过得

Can I get you anything

要我帮你拿什么吗

不用

I need to start making some smart decisions

我得开始做些明智的决定才行

With your career

你的事业吗

With my life

我的人生

Like what

比如说呢

I don't know

我不知道

We could get married

我们可以结婚

Come on be serious

说真的别闹了

I am

我很认真

Why

为什么

Because I'm a a "smart decision"

因为我是"明智的决定"吗

Well yeah

是的

So I'm like a bran muffin

这么说我是麦麸松糕[较为健康]

What No that's not what I'm saying

什么我不是这个意思

No it's exactly what you're saying

不你就是这个意思

I'm the boring thing you're choosing

你选择我这个无趣的选项

because I'm good for you

是因为我对你有益

What does it matter

这有什么关系

The point is I'm choosing you

重点是我选了你

Well it matters a lot

太有关系了

I don't want to be a bran muffin

我不想做麦麸松糕

I I want to be a

我要做

Cinnabon you know

肉桂卷懂吗

A strawberry Pop Tart

或草莓夹心饼干

Something you're excited about

你想到我就会兴奋

even though it could give you diabetes

哪怕我会害你得糖尿病

Sweetie you can be any pastry you want

亲爱的你想做任何糕饼点心都行

No no No it's too late

不不太迟了

I I'm your bran muffin

我是你的麦麸松糕

Probably fat free and good for your colon

可能无脂肪有利于结肠健康

You know what Forget it

这样吧算了

I never should've brought it up

我就不应该提这事

You know I want to marry you

你知道我想娶你

but you're only doing this because you got fired

但你现在这样只是因为你被炒了

and you're feeling sorry for yourself

你为自己感到难过

Okay it may look that way but getting fired from that movie

看起来是这样但被这部电影炒掉

was the best thing that could have happened to me okay

是我这辈子最幸运的一件事

I finally realize I don't need to be famous

我终于意识到我不需要出名

or have some big career to be happy

不需要演艺事业腾飞来令我幸福

Then what do you need

那你需要什么

You you stupid pop tart

你啊你这个笨夹心饼干

Then I guess I'm in

那我想我愿意

Really

你不是吧

You "guess you're in"

你"想你愿意"

Not like "I guess I'm in "

不是勉强的"我想我愿意"

Like "I guess I'm in "

而是激动的"我想...我愿意"

Okay

好的

Cool

酷

So is that it

就这样吗

Are are we engaged

我们订婚了吗

Yeah I think so

大概吧

All right

好的

What's wrong

怎么啦

I'm not sure

我不知道

Just feels a little anticlimactic

感觉有点虎头蛇尾的

Yeah it kind of does huh

是有点那种感觉

Oh I know

我知道了

This might help

这个也许有帮助

Where did you get a ring

你在哪里弄的戒指

I've

我

had it for a couple years not important

已经买了几年了这不重要

Penny

佩妮

will you marry me

你愿意嫁给我吗

Oh my God yes

天啊我愿意

This would have been so much more romantic

如果你手指上没有猩猩毛

if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger

这个求婚仪式会浪漫许多

How you feeling

感觉如何

Last night was a little rough

昨晚是挺难熬的

but I think we're gonna get through this

但我想我们能熬过去的

I'm proud of us

我为咱俩骄傲

Me too

我也是

Where's my pancakes

我的煎饼呢

Coming Mrs Wolowitz

来了沃罗威茨夫人

You were right

你是对的

Welcome to Team Putz

欢迎加入贱精二人组