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So Bernadette how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses
伯纳黛特 伴娘的礼服找得怎样了
Well if you don't mind looking like
如果你不介意看上去像个
an orange traffic cone great
橙色交通锥的话 已经找到了
Girlfriends I have the answer to our dress problems
闺蜜们 我有办法解决礼服的问题
Really
真的吗
12 years ago my cousin Irene and her entire family
十二年前 我表妹艾琳全家
died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident
在她结婚前晚 全死于一场可怕的
the night before her wedding
一氧化碳中毒事故
That's horrible
人间惨剧啊
Yes and no
这倒未必
All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused
那些还没被穿过的伴娘衣服
and available to us for free
咱们就能免费享用了
So it seems that cloud of odorless deadly gas
只能说 大难全死
had a silver lining after all
必有后福啊
Check it out
你们看
still in the bags
都还在袋子里呢
The gowns not the bridesmaids
不是说尸袋 是说礼服防尘袋
I don't know
这个嘛
Dead people's dresses
穿死人剩的衣服不太好吧
Yeah and cap sleeve
是啊 而且那超短袖...
Oh I was hoping you wouldn't notice
我还希望你们不会注意到呢
Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes
艾琳总对打折的服饰毫无抵抗力
and sadly as it turned out space heaters
超短袖太冷 开暖气才一氧化碳中毒的
Ladies please
女士们 自制啊
These four walls once housed an intellectual salon
这间屋子曾是一个智慧的集合地
where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach
在这里 大脑和胃袋都能吸收到营养
But through no one's fault
虽然没人有错
Penny
佩妮
the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined
但晚餐谈话的质量的确下滑了
And again I'm looking at no one in particular
再次重申 这事谁都不怪
Penny
佩妮
Fine
好吧
What would you like to talk about Sheldon
那你想聊什么 谢尔顿
What would you like to talk about Sheldon
你居然问谢尔顿想聊什么
Why do you hate us
你何苦要逼死大家呢
I've prepared a number of topics that should appeal to
我准备了一些应该能同时吸引
both the advanced and novice conversationalists
高阶谈天霸 与低档聊天人的话题
Okay that time you looked at me
你明显意有所指的瞄了我
Who didn't
谁不想瞄你啊
Your skin is like alabaster
你的皮肤白璧无瑕
Do you even have pores
感觉根本没毛孔啊
Topic one
第一个话题
"Faster than light particles at CERN
欧洲核子研究中心宣布超光速离子的存在
paradigm shifting discovery
这是范式转换的新发现
or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese "
还是像它们的乳酪一样千疮百孔的笑谈
And converse
开始高谈阔论吧
All right who wants to go
好吧 谁想来
to my apartment and look at bridal magazines
我屋子里看看婚礼杂志
Oh me
我去看
Through no one's fault Sheldon we're leaving
完全不怪任何人 谢尔顿 我们闪人了
Wait for moi
等等人家啦
You're leaving
你也要走吗
Sheldon sometimes you forget I'm a lady
谢尔顿 有时你忘记了我也是一名女士
and with that comes with an oestrogen fuel need to page through
女人天生带一种雌激素 促使我们一边
thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body
翻阅光鲜厚重的杂志 一边暗恨自己身材不佳
New topice women
新话题: 女人们
Delightfully mysterious or bat crap crazy
讨人喜爱的谜女还是令人厌恶的八婆
Totally
说得好
What's wrong with cap sleeves
超短袖有哪里不好了
If you have the right figure for it they're adorable
只要身形适合 穿起来超卡哇伊啊
第五季 第八集
《生活大爆炸》
Hey Amy what brings you to our neck of the woods
哟 艾米 什么风把你吹来这了
Your neurology department loaned me a culture of prions
你们神经科学部门借了我朊病毒培养箱
for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy
来协助我牛海绵状脑病的研究
She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease
她是来讨一杯疯牛病
It's hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious
把脑部退化疾病说得诙谐可不容易
and yet somehow you do it
但你总能化正经为笑料
That's fun to have in a lunchroom
餐桌上谈这个还"真"有意思啊
The real fun starts when you get to pick the rat
真正的乐趣始于你能挑选
you're going to feed it to and maybe you choose
任意小白鼠来注入病毒
the beady eyed little mother who's been biting you all week
搞不好选中的就是那只老咬你的鼠妈妈
Please we're eating
拜托 我们在吃饭呢
Can we get that off the table
可不可以把那东西拿下桌
and change the subject
然后换个话题聊啊
Can we
换话题吗
Stand back
屏息以待吧
while I turn this conversation into a "Conver sensation "
看哥怎么将聊天打屁升华到指点江山
This time it's your fault
这次完全是你自找的
I have 100 alphabetized topics from
我有一百个按字母顺序排列的话题 从
"Artichoke come on people it's just a giant thistle "
"洋蓟:这不过是蓟长得大一点罢了"
to "Zzz the onamona poetry of sleep "
到"《打鼾》:以鼾声为诗"
Amy how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me
艾米 疯牛病毒得多久才弄得死我啊
I don't know four or five years
我也不知道 四五年吧
No it's not gonna do it
不行 远水救不了近火
Oy Bernadette keeps texting me pictures
伯纳黛特一直发给我
of Penny in bridesmaid dresses
佩妮试伴娘礼服的照片
They're out shopping right now
她们现在在逛街吗
Yeah
是啊
Just the two of them
只有她们两人吗
I guess
我想是吧
That's cool that's cool
很好 非常好
Why are they asking me about this stuff
她们为毛问我这种事情啊
What guy knows what a sweetheart neckline is
哪个男人能知道鸡心领是什么玩意
Leonard's coming down the home stretch
莱纳德要终点前冲刺啦
Come on horsey you can do this
加油啊 马儿 你能行的
Damn Come on thigh muscles you can do this
该死 拜托 大腿肌肉 你也能行
Yes First place
太棒了 冠军
I would have been a great jockey if I weren't too tall
我肯定能当一名好骑士 要不是小时候太高...
and scared of horses
和害怕马的话
Sheldon you're up
谢尔顿 该你了
What
什么
Come on it's your turn
快点 该你了
We said we'd get more fresh air
我们说好要呼吸新鲜空气的
Sorry I'm a little distracted
抱歉 我有点心烦意乱
I can't seem to get in touch with Amy
我联系不到艾米了
I tried e mail video chat
不管是发邮件 邀请视频
tweeting her posting on her Facebook wall
在推特上找她 或在她主页上留言
texting her nothing
发短信 都没用
Did you try calling her on the telephone
你打过她家里电话吗
The telephone
对呀 打座机
You know Leonard in your own simple way
莱纳德 在你的简单世界里
you may be the wisest of us all
你是个举世无双的天才
Voice mail
语音信箱
Curiouser and curiouser
真是奇了怪了
If you're worried we can go over there
要是你不放心 我们可以过去
and see if she's all right
看看她是否有事
Okay
好吧
You know I heard in the news
话说我看到一条新闻
a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood
她家那一带有人目击山猫出没
I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat
艾米很安全 不会被山猫吃掉的
Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat
谁说艾米被山猫吃掉了
You do
你呀
Leonard I was just mentioning an interesting local news item
莱纳德 我不过是说说当地新闻
Now thanks to you I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat
都怪你 害我开始担心艾米被山猫吃掉了
Forget about the bobcat
就忘了山猫这档事吧
How can I You won't stop talking about it
你猛提山猫 谁忘得掉啊
Everybody hurts
世间伤心事
Sometimes
时有心伤
Everybody cries
惟见泪千行
Everybody hurts
世间伤心事
Sometimes
时有心伤
She sounds weepy
她哭哭啼啼的
I don't like weepy Let's go
我讨厌人家哭哭啼啼 咱们走吧
She's your friend
她可是你朋友
Step up
爷们点
Amy Amy Amy
艾米 艾米 艾米
Bye
撤了
Where are you going
你要去哪
I'm single I don't need this crap
爷我是单身 不用搅和这破事
Sheldon what are you doing here
谢尔顿 你来做什么
You didn't respond to
我和你的电子通信
any of my electronic communications
你全都没回应
I wanted to be alone
我想一个人待着
Would you like to talk about it
你想聊聊吗
And keep in mind that "No" is a perfectly viable answer
友情提醒 想回答"不想说"可别客气
Sheldon my world is crumbling around me
谢尔顿 我的世界要崩溃了
Point of order
按照程序
As you're in distress it would be customary
因为你不开心 按照惯例
for me to offer you a hot beverage
我该给你倒杯热饮
But I'm a guest in your home
但我是你的客人
so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage
按照惯例 你该给我倒杯饮料
How do you want to proceed vis à vis beverages
你想要怎么来面对面互倒饮料呀
It doesn't matter
无所谓
Nothing matters
都无所谓了
If you'd like to take your mind off what's troubling you
如果你想聊别的 不谈这事
uh word on the street is a bobcat has been spotted
坊间传言 有人目击这附近有山猫出没
Penny and Bernadette went shopping
佩妮和伯纳黛特没叫我
for bridesmaids dresses without me
就自己去买伴娘礼服了
And that made you feel
这让你...
sad
不开心吗
Yes
是的
I knew it
我就知道
Just keep going
继续说
I guess I'm good at this
我好像还挺会读心啊
It's just I thought they liked hanging out with me
我以为她们是喜欢和我一起玩的
but I guess I was fooling myself
原来我只是自己骗自己
When they were over here
是不是她们来你家的时候
did you fail to offer them a beverage
你没给人家倒饮料啊
'Cause I can see how that could stick in someone's craw
某些人对这事很在意很不爽
Sheldon I'm going to ask you something
谢尔顿 我想请你做件事
and I'd like you to keep an open mind
希望你不要用异样眼光看待
Always
一贯如此
At this moment I find myself
此时此刻 我很渴望
craving human intimacy and physical contact
与人有亲密行为和肢体接触
Oh boy
亲娘咧
You know ours is a relationship of the mind
你知道我们的关系仅限于精神层面
Proposal
我提议
One wild night of torrid lovemaking
咱俩一夜激情 大战数千回合
that soothes my soul and inflames my loins
既能抚慰我心 也令我胯下湿热
Counterproposal
反提议
I will gently stroke your head
我会轻轻地梳你的头
and repeat "aw who's a good Amy""
然后反复地说 "谁是乖乖艾米宝贝啊"
How about this
那这样如何
French kissing seven minutes in heaven
法式热吻 七分钟的巅峰体验
culminating in second base
在你上我二垒后划下句点
Neck massage
我帮你揉脖子
then you get me that beverage
然后你给我倒杯饮料
We cuddle Final offer
我们抱一下 不商量了
Very well
好吧
Oh boy
真要命
I'm just saying second base is right there
我就说说 二垒你触手可得...
Mm I'm thinking about adopting some quirky affectation
我在考虑给自己搞个另类造型
like a pipe or a monocle
比如弄个烟斗 单片眼镜
or a handlebar mustache
或是翘八字胡
For all those girls out there
给外面那些满脑子想钓
looking for the Indian Monopoly man
印度钻石王老五一个明确的目标吗
This is not a safe place
这国家太危险了
You can't share anything here
什么东西都不能露白
The two of you need to get your women in line
你们两个 给哥管好你们的女人
What
Last night I was strong armed
昨一整晚 我被强迫
into an evening of harp music
听那烦人的竖琴
and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler
还得让情绪化的艾米·法拉·福勒熊抱
This on a night
本来那天晚上
that I had originally designated for solving
我是计划好要解决
the space time geometry in higher spin gravity
更高自旋引力场下的时空几何问题
and building my Lego Death Star
以及搭乐高死星的呢
And why Your gal pals Penny and Bernadette
结果因为你们的马子 佩妮和伯纳黛特
went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy
偷偷跑去买婚礼垃圾 也不叫上艾米
an action they took with no thought or regard
她们完全没有想过
as to how it would affect me the future of string theory
她们会影响到我 影响弦理论的未来
or my Lego fun time
还影响我的乐高欢乐时光
What do you want us to do about it
那你想我们怎么办呢
You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence
你显然没仔细听我的主题句
Get your women in line
管好你们的女人
You make them apologize to Amy and set things right
叫她们去跟艾米道歉 把关系修复好
I am a man of science not someone's snuggle bunny
我是个搞科研的人 不是某人的抱抱兔
Why do I have to talk to Penny
为什么要我去跟佩妮谈
She's not my girlfriend
她又不是我女朋友
You invited her to lunch four years ago
四年前是你请她过来吃午饭的
Everything about her is on you you make it so
她的事全怪你 你给我搞定她
Moo shu is Penny Thank you
-木须肉是佩妮的 -谢谢
Where's Sheldon
谢尔顿呢
He was up late last night
他昨晚熬夜了
so I gave him an early dinner and put him to bed
我提早喂他食 哄他睡觉了
That's so sweet
你真是体贴
Yeah but now he's gonna be up at dawn and want to play
不过明天一大早 他就会起床闹着玩了
So listen guys
其实呢
the reason he was up late is because he was
他昨晚之所以熬夜是因为
taking care of Amy
他要照顾艾米
She's kind of upset
她有点伤心
Why
为什么
Her feelings got hurt because you guys
她的感情有点受伤 因为你们
went dress shopping without her
没叫她一起去逛街
I told you that would happen
我跟你说了她会不高兴
Okay look this is her first time being a bridesmaid
这是她第一次做伴娘
and she's just getting a little crazy with it
她有点兴奋过头了
She keeps on telling us stories about bridesmaid traditions
她老是不停地说不同文化里的伴娘习俗
in other cultures and they're all about
而且都是得脱得光溜溜
getting naked and washing each other
互相给对方搓澡的那种
Yeah and she keeps trying
对 她还老想知道
to figure out if our cycles have synced up
我们的月经有没有同步
so we can call ourselves "The three menstra teers"
我们才能自诩为"三个同经手"
仿三个火枪手
We thought it would be easier
我们以为不叫她
to look at dresses one time without her
一起去逛礼服会比较省事
I feel terrible
我感觉好内疚
I know Me too We'll talk to her
我也内疚 我们会找她谈
Hey wait
等等
how did she find out
她怎么知道的
Raj did it
拉杰告的密
And he says he would do it again
他说下次还会揭你们的短
Hey I'm sorry
好吧 对不起
You sent me the picture I wasn't thinking
你给我发照片 我当时没多想就说漏嘴了
Oh Howie Well hey I'm usually
-华仔 -别这样 平时
pretty good at not blabbing
我的嘴巴还是挺严的
You tell me tons of stuff about these guys
你跟我说了那么多他们的事
and I never repeat it
我从来都没说出去
What do you tell him Oh
-你跟他说什么了 -没说啥
you know just pillow talk
就一些枕边的私房话
You guys have nothing to worry about
你们什么都不用担心
Hold on did you talk about us when we were dating
咱两相好时 你没跟人家说啥吧
No All your little secrets are fine
没有 你的小秘密我都没说过
Yes absolutely fine
是啊 她绝对没说
I'll tell you later
我迟些再告诉你
Come on tumor
来吧 肿瘤
Come on tumor Mama needs an aggressive little glioblastoma
来吧 肿瘤 老娘要的就是扩散的小恶性胶质瘤
Yay brain tumor
爽啊 脑瘤
Probably not the same reaction you had when you got the news
你得知有脑瘤时的反映估计跟我不一样
Hi Hello
-嗨 -你好
What are you doing here
你们怎么来了
Well look we just wanted to apologize
我们是来道歉的
for not bringing you with us the other day
那天没叫上你一起去逛礼服
That's not necessary it's like Sesame Street says
没必要道歉 这就跟《芝麻街》里说的一样
"One of these things is not like the other
"这个东西跟与众不同"
one of these things should die alone "
"这个东西将孤独终老"
Come on Amy let us make it up to you
别这样嘛 艾米 让我们补偿你
We'll have a girl's night
咱们办个闺蜜之夜
we'll do whatever you want
你想干啥咱就干啥
We can go down to the Korean baths
我们可以去韩国洗浴中心
and do that thing you were talking about
照你说的那样
where we wash each other
互相给对方搓澡
With with loofah mitts no hands
戴着丝瓜络手套搓 不是用手摸
It's okay I'm glad this happened
没关系 我很高兴发生这样的事
I can stop pretending that some beautiful girl
我再也不用假装某个美女
and her cute in the right light friend
和她找准角度还算可爱的朋友
want to hang out with me
喜欢和我一起玩了
Amy we're really sorry
艾米 我们真的很抱歉
Yeah we feel awful
对 我们觉得特内疚
Don't I'll be okay You're not the first girls
别 我会没事的 你们也不是第一个
I thought were friends with me who ended up shunning me
我以为是我的朋友 结果处处躲着我的女孩子
It's like elementary school junior high
感觉就像回到了小学 初中
high school undergrad grad school
高中 大学 研究院
and that semester abroad in Norway all over again
还有去挪威交换的那学期一样
Oh come on Amy
别这样嘛 艾米
You don't get it
你不懂
Look at this brain
看看这个大脑
I don't really want to
我实在不想看
This is us
这就像我们
Bernadette you are the analytical
伯纳黛特 你就是善于
scientific left hemisphere
科学分析的左脑
Penny you're the creative spontaneous right hemisphere
佩妮 你就是有自主创造力的右脑
And where's Amy
艾米在哪呢
She's right here the sad little tumor
她在这里 可怜的小肿瘤
no one wants to go dress shopping with
没人愿意跟她一起去逛街
Amy you're not a tumor
艾米 你不是肿瘤
Penny tell her she's not a tumor
佩妮 告诉她她不是肿瘤
Did you know that when Alexander Graham Bell
你知道亚历山大·格拉汉姆·贝尔
invented the telephone
发明电话时
he proposed answering it with "Ahoy"
他提议接电话时说"啊嘿"吗
啊嘿[Ahoy] 海盗或船员常用的打招呼语
Ahoy
啊嘿
I like it
我喜欢
Amy Is that you
艾米 是你吗
Have you been drinking
你喝酒啦
I'm sorry I bet my sweet what
你说什么 没我屁屁个错...
Well all right We're on our way
好吧 我们这就去
What's going on
怎么了
It would seem Amy is drunk in a liquor store parking lot
艾米在一家贩酒店的停车场喝得烂醉
Really Amy
真的吗 艾米
Leonard be glad you can't keep a woman
莱纳德 你该庆幸自己留不住女人
They are a handful
她们真是难搞
Oh look
看哪
It's Sheldon and little Leonard
是小谢和小莱驾到
Hi little Leonard
嗨 小莱
Hi Amy
嗨 艾米
Hey Cuddles
嗨 小"抱"贝
Cuddles
小"抱"贝
Yes Cuddles We cuddled
对 小"抱"贝 我们抱过了
Grow up Leonard
少幼稚的猛问了 莱纳德
Amy what are you doing here
艾米 你在这干嘛
I came here to get a bottle of wine
我来这买酒
like Penny taught me to do when you're sad
佩妮教过我 借酒浇愁
Yeah but why didn't you go back to your apartment
是啊 但你怎么不回家喝
Didn't you go to high school Leonard
你没上过中学吗 莱纳德
Parking lots are where all the cool kids hang out
酷小孩都在停车场鬼混
Not that the rat bastards ever invited me
虽然那些王八蛋从没邀请过我来
Maybe we should get you home
我们还是带你回家吧
Oh hang on hang on hang on Sheldon
等等 等等 谢尔顿
what would it take for you to go into that liquor store
要怎么样你才肯去隔壁
buy a bottle of hooch
买一瓶烈酒
take me across the street to that motel
然后带我去街对面那家旅馆
and have your way with me
跟我大搞特搞一番呢
Yeah Sheldon what would it take
是啊 谢尔顿 你要怎样才肯
I'm begging both of you please let's go
我求求你们了 快走吧
Okay
好吧
Come on
来吧
Upsy daisy
起来没事啦
Ooh finally someone found second base
终于有人碰我二垒了
I know how you feel
我懂你的痛
I got a knife slicing through my frontal lobe too
我的大脑前庭也像被刀子划过一样
What do you want
找我干嘛
Do you want me to give the friendship bracelet back
是要我把友谊手镯还给你吗
I never gave you a friendship bracelet
我没给过你友谊手镯
When we first met I made one and pretended you gave it to me
我们刚认识时我做了一个 假装是你给我的
You can have it back if you want
你要的话 我可以还给你
No you made that for you I want you to have it
不 你给自己做的 我想你好好留着
We know you're upset and you have every right to be
我们知道你很伤心 你完全有理由伤心
but if it's okay with you we'd like a second chance
如果可以 请再给我们一个机会
to make things right
纠正我们的错误
We are really sorry
我们真的很抱歉
and we were trying to think of some way to show you
我们想努力向你表达
how much we care about you
我们有多在乎你
Which is why
所以
it would mean so much if you would agree
如果你能当我婚礼的首席伴娘
to be the maid of honor at my wedding
那就真是太好了
What Wait is this some kind of practical joke
什么 等等 这是什么恶作剧吗
Like in Norway when my "Friends"
就像在挪威 我所谓的"朋友"
trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter
骗我跟发情的水獭洗桑拿那样吗
No I I want you to be the maid of honor
不 我真的想请你当我的首席伴娘
Oh my gosh
我的天哪
No one's every asked me to be the maid of honor before
都没有人请我当过首席伴娘呢
Well that's not true
哦 不对
Once but then they all died
有过一次 不过她们都死了
So is that a yes
这么说你答应啦
Yes Yes
答应 当然答应
Oh my gosh
老天哪
I I have so much to do
我有太多事要做了
There's the bridal shower and the bachelorette party
要准备新娘婚前派对和单身女郎派对
What should we do for the bachelorette party
单身女郎派对要做什么好呢
Oh I know we'll go to a Native American sweat lodge
我知道了 我们去印第安人的蒸汗屋
we'll take peyote roll around in the mud
带上龙舌兰酒 去烂泥里打滚
and paint fertility symbols on Bernadette's naked body
接着在伯纳黛特裸体上画生育符号
So that's happening
终于要去做这事了
Yeah sure sure
是啊 当然 真好
Vegas is fun too
拉斯维加斯也很好玩啊
I feel like crying
我有种想哭的冲动
Of course I could just be hormonal
当然 可能只是荷尔蒙作祟
Oh wait Maybe our menses are finally syncing up
等等 说不定我们的月经终于同步了
Bernadette
伯纳黛特你快到了吗
No Penny
没有吗 佩妮呢
Sorry Really
-抱歉 -真的吗
Okay yeah
好啦 是到了
Yay
太好了
Maid of honor Amy Farrah Fowler's
首席伴娘艾米·菲拉·福勒的
amazing behind the scenes wedding video
婚礼录像之"精彩幕后故事"
take one
片段一
We're just trying on dresses
我们只是在试衣服
do we really need to record this
真的要拍吗
I'm sorry are you the maid of honor
抱歉 你是首席伴娘吗
I am the bride
我是新娘
So no And action
所以你不是 开拍
What do you think
觉得怎样
I love it
我喜欢
What are you a nun
这身什么啊 尼姑装吗
Come on bestie let's see some skin
拜托 闺蜜 露点肉肉嘛
Amy Looking sexy
艾米 真性感
You think they don't have mirrors in there
你以为这里没镜子的吗
I know how I look
我当然知道自己有多美
Bernadette you look beautiful
伯纳黛特 你真是太美了
You do Thank you
-是很美 -谢谢
Not Penny beautiful but beautiful
没佩妮那么美 不过还是挺美
Come on bestie you're up
快点 闺蜜 到你了
Give me a minute
再等我一会儿
What is taking you so long
你在干嘛啊 这么慢
Oh Amy Get the hell out of here
艾米 滚出去
Sorry sorry Oh God
-抱歉 抱歉 -天哪
Amy Sorry
-艾米 -抱歉