生活大爆炸-S04E04_生活大爆炸

S01

I'm telling you if xenon emits ultraviolet light

我告诉你如果氙能放射出紫外线

then those dark matter discoveries must be wrong.

那些有关暗物质的发现都会是错的

Yes well if we lived in a world

那是如果我们住在一个

where slow moving xenon produced light

缓慢运动的氙原子能放出光子的世界

then you'd be correct.

那你就是对的

Also pigs would fly

与此同时猪能飞

my derriere would produce cotton candy

我也能拉出棉花糖来

and The Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic.

而《幽灵的威胁》也将成为永恒的经典

Oh you're so arrogant.

你也太傲慢了

If you were a superhero

如果你是超级英雄

your name would be Captain Arrogant.

那你的名字就该叫傲慢上尉

And you know what your superpower would be

你知道你的超能力是什么吗

Arrogance.

傲慢力

You're wrong again.

你又错了

If my superpower were arrogance

如果我的超能力是傲慢力

my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

我的名字应该是至傲博士

I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.

我太喜欢看拉杰和谢尔顿一块儿工作了

Yeah it's like if Alien and Predator decided

没错就好比异形和铁血战士决定

to go partners in a Jamba Juice.

合作开一间Jamba Juice一样

(Jamba Juice: 美国著名连锁冰沙奶昔店)

Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture

你难道没注意宏观的状况吗

If you look at neutron scattering data... Oh Penny

-如果你看了中子分布数据 -佩妮

Penny What's up

-佩妮 -怎么了

Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.

没事儿我只是想让拉杰闭嘴而已

No no no.

不不不

He won. Suck it up.

他赢了憋着吧

Well I'd ask you guys if you want dessert

我想问问你们是否需要甜品

but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays.

但我知道谢尔顿周二不吃甜品

And even if Raj wanted something he couldn't tell me.

而拉杰就算想要什么也开不了口

Howard won't order anything

霍华德什么都不会点

but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment

但他会迸出来一些跟派或者芝士蛋糕

involving the words pie or cheesecake.

有关系的恶心话

And Leonard's lactose intolerant

而莱纳德有乳糖不耐

so he can't eat anything here

所以除非他想让自己的肠子

without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.

涨得跟动物气球似的否则是什么都吃不了的

Hang on a second.

等等

I could have the fruit platter.

我可以点水果拼盘的

You want the fruit platter

你想要水果拼盘

Does it have melon on it Yeah.

-上面有甜瓜吗 -有

No I can't eat melon.

呃我不能吃甜瓜

Oh Howard heads up.

霍华德注意了

Your ex girlfriend just came in for her shift.

你的前女友来上班了

When was the last time you saw her

你上次见她是什么时候

Oh not since we broke up.

分手之后就没见过了

Wow. How am I going to play this

嗯我该怎么表现呢

Sophisticated and relaxed

优雅而自然的

Friendly noncommittal

还是友好而含糊的

Cold and distant

或者冷淡且陌生的

Hi guys.

你们好

Hello.

你好

I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.

看来你决定用悲剧和惊恐来面对了

It's one of his best moves.

这是他的拿手好戏

So my dear we meet again.

亲爱的我们又见面了

Hello Howard.

好啊霍华德

I've missed you.

我想你了

I've missed you Katee Sackhoff.

我也想你了凯蒂·萨克霍夫

(《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》女主演之一)

One question. Anything.

-问个问题 -随便问

Why am I wearing my Battlestar Galactica flight suit in bed

为什么我会在床上穿着《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》的战斗服

Why are you in bed with me

那你又为什么你会和我同床呢

If we start to question this it all falls apart.

如果我们开始质疑这个那就太崩溃了

Sorry.

不好意思

Oh ravish me Howard.

噢强力地占有我吧霍华德

My loins ache for you.

我愿为你尽折腰

Okay if you insist.

好吧既然你如此坚持的话

Howard have you seen my girdle

霍华德你看到我的束腹紧身裤了吗

No Ma

没有妈

I can't find it and I'm late for my Weight Watchers meeting

我找不着了而且减肥族大会就快要迟到了

Maybe it committed suicide

也许它自杀了

Leave me alone

少烦我

Now where were we

好了刚才到哪儿了

I believe you were about

我觉得你想要

to rip off my uniform with your teeth.

用你的牙齿扒下我的制服了

Bernadette

伯纳黛特

What are you doing here

你在这儿干嘛

Well if I had to guess I'd say I'm here

我猜的话估计是

because you saw me earlier this evening

因为你今晚见到我了

and you're still hung up on me.

而你还对我有留恋

No I'm not.

才没有呢

Clearly you are.

很明显有

Otherwise based on past experience

否则根据以往经验

we'd be done by now.

我们现在都该完事儿了

Okay I'm a little confused here.

好吧我现在有点混乱了

Oh my. Can I help

亲爱的我能帮什么吗

Not that kind of confused.

又不是那方面的困惑

What's George Takei doing here

武井乔治在这儿干嘛

(《星际迷航》中苏鲁的扮演者本人为同性恋)

Howard do you have latent homosexual tendencies

霍华德你有隐性的同性恋倾向吗

No of course not.

当然没有了

So you say.

你是这么说了

Yet here I am.

而我却站在这儿了

George let me ask you something.

乔治我问你个问题

How did you deal with being typecast as a science fiction icon

作为科幻人物象征你是如何应对连续出演同类角色的

It's difficult.

是很难

You try and stretch as an actor

作为演员你想拓展戏路

do Strindberg O'Neill

尝试下斯特林堡奥尼尔什么的

but all they want is "Course laid in Captain."

但他们想要的只是"航线已设定船长"

Tell me about it.

好好跟我说说

It's frackin' frustrating.

这太让我抓狂了

Wait. Katee why are you leaving

等等凯蒂你怎么走了

She's leaving because you really want to be with me.

她走了是因为你内心深处想和我一起啊

Howard I found my girdle

霍华德我找到我的束腹紧身裤了

It was in the dryer

原来在烘干机里

Great Ma

那太好了妈妈

I think it shrunk

我觉得它缩水了

I'm spilling out like the Pillsbury Doughboy here

我的赘肉就跟面团宝宝似的

(美国贝式堡公司的吉祥物)

And with that mental picture

一想到那个画面

I think we're done for the evening.

我想今晚的精神治疗到此为止了

You never told me what happened between you and Bernadette.

你从没跟我说过你和伯纳黛特当初为何分手

I did a stupid thing.

我做了件蠢事

Yeah I guessed that.

我猜也是

It was the kind of thing that makes it kind of hard to face her now.

像是那种现在难以面对她的蠢事

That covers anything from farting in bed

你说的这范围广的可以从被窝里放屁

to killing a homeless guy.

延伸到杀害流浪汉

Oh my God.

哦我的天呐

You ran over a hobo.

你真碾死过流浪汉啊

No. Stop asking.

没有别问了

All right fine. So you want to get back together with her

好吧你想跟她重归于好

but you're too ashamed to face her

但却羞于面对她

because of whatever it is you did.

就因为你曾经做了某件难以启齿的事

In a nutshell. Okay.

-差不多 -好吧

Well how about this

那这么做你觉得怎样

Kidnap Bernadette from the opera

你戴上诡异的面具从剧院里

(《歌剧魅影》的情节)

wearing a creepy mask so she doesn't know it's you.

把伯纳黛特劫走这样她就认不出你了

Now you see I don't know if you're kidding or not.

这么说吧我不知道你是在跟我开玩笑还是怎么着

You're being unreasonable.

你开始蛮横无理了

Why can't I have a desk

为什么我就不能有张桌子

Our collaboration is a work of the mind.

我们的合作研究是思维上的工作

We don't need desks.

我们用不着桌子

You have a desk.

但你有桌子啊

Correct. But I can't have one.

-是的 -但我就不能有了是吧

You're two for two.

你说中要点了

Why can't he have a desk Sheldon

为什么他不能有桌子谢尔顿

Oh Lord will this day never end

天呐这一天怎么过不完了

As I've explained repeatedly to Dr. Koothrappali

我已经再三向库萨帕里博士解释过了

whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him

以他对美国俗语的理解能力是不能明白

when it's convenient.

什么叫做时机妥当的

There's absolutely no money in my budget for additional office furniture.

我的预算中绝没有添置额外办公家具的那份了

Oh but there's money for a drawer full of Red Vines

那你就有预算来买一抽屉的红蜡糖

a marshmallow shooting rifle

一把棉花糖步枪

and a super executive ant farm with glow in the dark sand

以及带有夜光沙土的超级蚂蚁工坊[玩具]吗

Yes.

是的

Okay what if he buys his own desk

好吧那他出钱买自己的桌子呢

Yeah what if I buy my own desk

是啊要是我买我自己的桌子呢

That's ridiculous. Why

-那太荒谬了 -为什么

Because...

因为...

Yes

请说

It's my office.

这是我的办公室

Sheldon. All right all right.

-谢尔顿 -好了好了

He can buy his own desk.

他可以买他自己的桌子了

And I can put it in your office

而且我可以放进你的办公室里

Well you really want to dot the I's and cross the T's don't you

你还真的想得寸进尺了是吧

Why would you want a glow in the dark ant farm

为何你要买带夜光沙土的蚂蚁工坊呢

They do some of their best work at night.

因为蚂蚁有些工作晚上做更出色

Ah it's okay.

这个还能穿

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me

如果知道是我敲门你还会开吗

Not since I found out

自从我发现

the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.

你给我的泰迪熊安了摄像头之后就不会了

I just have a question.

我只是有个问题想问

Does Bernadette ever talk about me

伯纳黛特有跟你提起过我吗

Oh absolutely.

哦当然有啊

She does Yeah sure.

-她提过吗 -当然

Just yesterday she asked

就在昨天她还问我

"Why is Howard hiding under the table "

为什么霍华德要躲在桌子底下

She saw that huh

她看见了是吧

Oh no not at first.

没没一开始没有

Right after I pointed it out.

但在我告诉她后就...

Let me ask you something else.

我问你点别的吧

Is she seeing anybody

她有跟谁交往吗

Oh not that I know of.

据我所知没有吧

Hey while we're on the subject

既然说到了这个话题

why did you guys break up anyway

我想了解你们当初为何分手了

Oh I'd rather not say.

我觉得还是不说为好

Howard if you want my help I've got to know what happened.

霍华德你如果想得到我的帮助就得让我知道

But it's embarrassing...

但说出来有些尴尬

Yeah that's what I'm counting on. Spill.

是啊我就期待着这个呢进来吧

Okay. Well you know World of Warcraft

好吧你听过魔兽世界吧

Um the online game Sure.

那个网络游戏吗当然

Well did you know

那你可否知道

that the characters in the game can have sex with each other

游戏中的角色是可以互相发生性关系的

Oh God. I think I see where this is going.

哦天呐我想我有点头绪了

Her name was Glissinda the Troll.

她叫巨魔葛林新蒂

Bernadette walked in on me

当伯纳黛特来找我的时候

while we were doing the cyber nasty under the Bridge of Souls.

我们正在灵魂之桥下翻云覆雨呢

Oh you're right. That is so embarrassing.

你说的没错这是够糗的了

Would you talk to her

你能跟她说说吗

Bernadette or the troll

伯纳黛特还是巨魔

Bernadette. She was so mad at me

伯纳黛特她太生我气了

she wouldn't even listen to my side of the story.

她甚至都没听我的解释

Well what was your side

那你的解释是什么

Well for all we know Glissinda the Troll wasn't even a real woman.

那个巨魔葛林新蒂只是个虚拟的女人

I mean she could've been a 50 year old truck driver in New Jersey.

我是说她也可能是个年届50在新泽西开卡车的人呢

Really And that didn't make her feel better

真的假的那这么说没让她消消气吗

Will you talk to her see if there's any chance at all

你能帮我去问问看吗看看我们还有没有

we could get back together

重归于好的可能性了

Oh gee Howard I really don't want to get in the middle of this.

天霍华德我真不想趟你俩这趟浑水

No. Why would you

别啊你怎么忍心呢

I'm just another lonely nerd living with his mother

我这个孤单的书呆子和老妈相依为命

trying to find any scrap of happiness he can.

努力寻求哪怕是一丝丝的幸福

You know maybe to make up for

也许是为了弥补

the fact that his dad left him when he was 11.

11岁时父亲就离开他的缺憾吧

Okay I will think about it.

好吧我会考虑的

You know I've always blamed myself

我一直在为父亲的出走

for him leaving.

而深深自责

I always thought it was because I wasn't the son he wanted.

我一直觉得那是因为他根本不想要我这个儿子

Yeah I said I'd think about it.

行了我说了我会考虑的

I wasn't athletic yeah I was kind of sickly...

我体育不好又有点病怏怏的

Okay fine. Look look I'm calling her now See

行了好了我在给她打电话了看见没

Thank you.

谢谢

So anyway Howard asked Penny to talk to Bernadette

总之霍华德请佩妮帮忙牵线伯纳黛特

and she did

然后她照办了

and Bernadette agreed to meet him for a cup of coffee.

接着伯纳黛特同意跟他见面一起喝杯咖啡

One question. Yeah

-我有个问题 -问吧

Why on earth are you telling me all this

你干嘛跟我说这些

I don't know.

不知道

Sometimes your movements are so lifelike

有时候你的动作如此栩栩如生

I forget you're not a real boy.

我都忘了你其实不是人

You said I could buy a desk.

是你说我可以买张书桌的

This isn't a desk.

这东西压根不是书桌

This is a... Brobdingnagian monstrosity.

这是个...硕大无朋的怪物

Is that the American idiom for "Giant big ass desk"

这是美国俗语里面对"巨大的书桌"的叫法吗

It's actually British.

其实是英式英语的说法

Can you say it again for me

能给我再说一遍吗

Brobdingnagian.

硕大无朋

One more time

再来一遍

Brobdingnagian.

硕大无朋

Now three times fast

来个三倍速的

Brobdingnagian Brobdingna...

硕大无朋硕大无...

How did you even get it in here

你怎么把它给弄进来的

That's for me Ramon Julio Jesus and Rodrigo to know

秘诀只有我拉蒙和胡里奥耶稣还有罗德里格知道

自己想哦

All right you've made your point.

好吧你的立场明摆着了

A fine prank very amusing.

很有意思的恶作剧

Now get it out.

现在给我搬出去

No. Yes.

-不 -搬

No. Yes.

-不 -搬

No. Yes

-不 -搬

I have three brothers and two sisters Sheldon

我有仨兄弟俩姐妹谢尔顿

I can do this all day.

磨嘴皮子你休想赢我

All right if you're not going to remove it

好吧既然你不搬

I'll remove it for you.

我来给你搬

Knock yourself out.

请自便

Help me move my desk.

帮我搬一下我的书桌

No. Yes.

-不 -搬

No. Yes.

-不 -搬

No. It's too Brobdingnagian.

不这也过于硕大无朋了

Why do you even want this here

你怎么会想把这东西弄来这儿

Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose.

它的大小与用途完全不成比例

Well seeing as its purpose was to piss you off

要说它的用途就是让你不爽的话

I'd say it's spot on.

我看真是恰到好处

All right I see what's going on.

好了我明白怎么回事了

This is the opening salvo in what will be

你就是公开对我宣战

an escalating series of juvenile tit for tat exchanges.

接下来就是一系列越演越烈的幼稚的针锋相对

Well titted.

这个回合你赢了

Thank you.

多谢夸奖

Stand by for my upcoming tat.

你给我走着瞧

Hey Sheldon

谢尔顿

Yes

什么事

No.

不没事

See what I did there I turned it around.

发现没我把这两句话给转过来了

Sorry I had to clock out.

抱歉我得打卡下班

Oh no that's okay.

没事没关系的

How have you been

你过得怎么样

Okay. You know busy school work. You

还好了就是忙着读书上班什么的你呢

Same. I took a scuba diving course over the summer

一样夏天时我选了一门戴水肺潜水的课程

but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.

结果发现我很怕海

Too bad.

太糟糕了

You wouldn't know anybody

你有没有认识的人

who wants to buy a wet suit boy's large

想买大号儿童潜水衣的

Yeah forget it. Not important.

算了这不重要

So are you seeing anyone

你有跟人交往吗

Well to be honest I... Hey how are we doing over here

-说实话我 -嗨在忙什么呢

Can I get you something to drink

要不要给你们点杯饮料

Not for me thanks. I'm okay.

-我不用谢谢 -我也不用

Are you gonna want to order food

要不要点些吃的

Maybe later. Okay.

-待会再点吧 -好的

So are you seeing anybody

那么你在跟人交往吗

No.

没有

That's what I told him when he asked me.

他问我的时候我也是这么说的

I hope that's not out of line.

希望这不算太冒昧吧

No it's fine. Penny can we have a little privacy

-不没事 -佩妮能让我们独处一会儿吗

Oh. I'm sorry.

抱歉

What about you have you been seeing anybody

你呢你有没有跟其他人交往

Well you know how it is with guys.

你知道男人嘛

I mean we have needs and...

总是有需要的

So you've been seeing other girls

这么说你在和其他女孩交往

Well not real girls.

不是真实的女孩

Does that mean slutty trolls

你是说那个风骚的巨魔吗

You know you look thirsty.

你们俩看起来很渴

I brought you some iced tea. Thank you.

-我给你们拿了冰茶 -谢谢

It's passion fruit new on the menu.

这是百香果本店新品哦

I know. I work here. Oh sorry.

-我知道我在这上班呢 -抱歉

Yeah you're right. Doy.

你说得对这不明摆着嘛

So Howard trolls yay or nay

霍华德巨魔那事儿说不说

Isn't there somewhere else you can be

别老杵在这儿行吗

Not where I can hear you guys.

那样我就听不着你俩聊天了

Okay fine.

好吧好了

I'll admit there are dark sordid little corners of the Internet

我承认在互联网的某些黑暗肮脏的角落

where the name Wolowizard is whispered in hushed tones.

确实有人在喃喃呼唤沃罗法师这个名字

The only reason I go there

我去那些地方不过是因为

the only reason I've ever gone there

我曾那样做的唯一原因

is because I don't have a real woman in my life.

是因为我生命中一直没有真正的女友

You happy Yeah that'll hold me for a while.

-这下你爽了 -对能放过你们一小会了

Howard you did have a real woman.

霍华德你有过真正的女友

I was right there in the next room

我当时就在隔壁房间

while you were clicking that troll's brains out.

而你却疯狂地撸着鼠标跟巨魔进行剧烈运动

Yeah but we weren't...

对但我们从未...

I I mean you and I never...

我是说你我从未...

Had sex

上过床

Yeah.

对

Well whose fault was that

那又是谁的错呢

Complimentary nachos

免费赠送的墨西哥玉米片

You enjoy.

慢慢享用

Never had sex

从未上过床哇

What do you mean whose fault was that

你什么意思问我那是谁的错

Well we could've been having sex

我们本可以上床的

but you never made the move.

但你从未主动采取行动

I didn't think you wanted me to make the move.

我以为是你不想我采取行动的

Howard a girl doesn't go out with a man like you

霍华德女孩才不会跟你这样的人约会

with your looks your fancy patter and your tight hoochie pants

就你那长相说话那德性还有那小紧身裤

if she's not expecting him to eventually make the move.

除非她是想让你主动采取行动的

Really

真的吗

Really.

真的

Son of a bitch.

妈的我早干嘛去了

Hey this is a little awkward

我真有点说不出口

but my manager says I can't actually give nachos away.

但经理说我无权免费赠送玉米片

So... just take that when you're ready.

所以谈好了记得买单啊

Yeah we had a really great talk

对我俩谈得很愉快

and we're gonna start seeing each other again.

决定重新开始约会

Oh congratulations.

恭喜你们

Have you broken it to the troll yet

那你跟那巨魔分了吗

Did Penny tell you about that

是佩妮告诉你的

No. Steve Patterson told me.

不是史蒂夫·帕特森说的

The greasy old fat guy in Facilities Management

设备管理部那恶心的老胖子

Yeah. How'd he know about it

-对 -他怎么知道的

He's Glissinda the troll.

他就是巨魔葛林新蒂

Sorry dude the thermostat's on my side of the room

抱歉兄弟温度调节器在我这边

so it stays Mumbai hot in here

温度就定在跟孟买一样热

until you turn off that stupid Indian music

除非你关了那愚蠢的印度音乐

I'll turn off the music

我自然会关了音乐

when you get rid of that salmonella ridden parakeet

只要你处理掉那只携带着沙门氏菌的鹦鹉

Oh too bad Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds

太糟了原来谢尔顿病态地怕鸟

Hey look Sheldon Birdie birdie birdie

来看啊谢尔顿小鸟小鸟小鸟

That's it Prepare for marshmallow death

我受够了看我的棉花糖子弹受死吧

Eat flaming Nerf

你也吃我一枪

So anyway...

话说回来...

That's great news about you and Bernadette.

你跟伯纳黛特能和好真是太好了

Yeah. I think I'm gonna take her to miniature golf.

是啊我想带她去打迷你高尔夫

Ah. I guess for you guys that's like regular golf.

对你们来说那就相当于正常的高尔夫了

Short jokes Really

笑我矮真的吗

You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me.

你也就比我高那么1/4英寸罢了

Yeah and don't you forget it.

对记得我比你高就好

I had a good time.

我过得很愉快

Me too.

我也是

Kiss her good night.

跟她吻别

All right now a little tongue.

好了该来点舌吻了

Hold on there.

别轻举妄动

We've only just rekindled the romance.

我们才刚刚重燃爱火

Let's not sully the moment with the exchange of saliva.

别让过早的唾液交换破坏了这美妙一刻

Don't listen to him.

别听他的

She wants it.

她也想要的

Tongue.

舌吻

See

看到了吧

Now make the move.

该主动出击了

Too soon.

太快了

Trust me she's ready.

相信我她准备好了

Make the move.

主动出击

No no no.

别

A lady wants to be wooed courted slowly.

女士都想被好好追求慢慢献殷勤

How would you know

你怎么知道的

I read.

书上看来的

Listen to me Howard it's time.

听我的霍华德是时候了

Make the move now.

主动出击快

What are you doing

你在干嘛

You said... well the "Move " Remember

是你让我主动行动的记得吗

Oh not now.

但不是现在

We're starting a new relationship.

我们才刚重新开始

I need to get to know you again.

我还需要重新了解你

No you don't.

不用重新了解的

It's me.

我还是我呀

The lusty charmer with the fancy patter

说话这副德性还身穿小紧身裤的

and the hoochie pants.

风流小可爱

Be patient we'll get there.

耐心点总有那么一天的

Told you.

我就说嘛

Oh God what's that smell

天这什么味

Yes

有事吗

What are you doing in there

你们在那里面干嘛呢

I'm making hydrogen sulfide and ammonia gas.

我正在制造硫化氢和氨气

Just a little experiment in pest control.

只是个防治害虫的小实验罢了

It's not gonna work dude I grew up in India

对付我没用的兄弟我可是在印度长大的

an entire subcontinent where cows walk in the street

那整片次大陆上牛儿满大街乱窜

and nobody has ever had a solid bowel movement.

就没个人能有过正常的"肠胃运动"

Well we'll just see how long you can hold out.

那就看看你还能坚持多久

Well we'll just see how your noxious gas

那我们就来看看你的有害气体

fares against my cinnamon apple scented aroma therapy candles.

跟我的肉桂苹果芳香蜡烛哪个更厉害

Didn't you say you're making hydrogen sulfide gas

你不是说你在制造硫化氢气体

Yes. Isn't that flammable

-没错 -那不是很易燃的吗

Highly.

极易燃

Oh dear.

哦天哪

This is not over.

这事跟你没完

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