生活大爆炸-S04E04_生活大爆炸

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I'm telling you if xenon emits ultraviolet light

我告诉你如果氙能放射出紫外线

then those dark matter discoveries must be wrong

那些有关暗物质的发现都会是错的

Yes well if we lived in a world

那是如果我们住在一个

where slow moving xenon produced light

缓慢运动的氙原子能放出光子的世界

then you'd be correct

那你就是对的

Also pigs would fly

与此同时猪能飞

my derriere would produce cotton candy

我也能拉出棉花糖来

and The Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic

而《幽灵的威胁》也将成为永恒的经典

Oh you're so arrogant

你也太傲慢了

If you were a superhero

如果你是超级英雄

your name would be Captain Arrogant

那你的名字就该叫傲慢上尉

And you know what your superpower would be

你知道你的超能力是什么吗

Arrogance

傲慢力

You're wrong again

你又错了

If my superpower were arrogance

如果我的超能力是傲慢力

my name would be Dr Arroganto

我的名字应该是至傲博士

I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together

我太喜欢看拉杰和谢尔顿一块儿工作了

Yeah it's like if Alien and Predator decided

没错就好比异形和铁血战士决定

to go partners in a Jamba Juice

合作开一间Jamba Juice一样

(Jamba Juice: 美国著名连锁冰沙奶昔店)

Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture

你难道没注意宏观的状况吗

If you look at neutron scattering data Oh Penny

-如果你看了中子分布数据 -佩妮

Penny What's up

-佩妮 -怎么了

Nothing I just wanted to make Raj stop talking

没事儿我只是想让拉杰闭嘴而已

No no no

不不不

He won Suck it up

他赢了憋着吧

Well I'd ask you guys if you want dessert

我想问问你们是否需要甜品

but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays

但我知道谢尔顿周二不吃甜品

And even if Raj wanted something he couldn't tell me

而拉杰就算想要什么也开不了口

Howard won't order anything

霍华德什么都不会点

but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment

但他会迸出来一些跟派或者芝士蛋糕

involving the words pie or cheesecake

有关系的恶心话

And Leonard's lactose intolerant

而莱纳德有乳糖不耐

so he can't eat anything here

所以除非他想让自己的肠子

without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal

涨得跟动物气球似的否则是什么都吃不了的

Hang on a second

等等

I could have the fruit platter

我可以点水果拼盘的

You want the fruit platter

你想要水果拼盘

Does it have melon on it Yeah

-上面有甜瓜吗 -有

No I can't eat melon

呃我不能吃甜瓜

Oh Howard heads up

霍华德注意了

Your ex girlfriend just came in for her shift

你的前女友来上班了

When was the last time you saw her

你上次见她是什么时候

Oh not since we broke up

分手之后就没见过了

Wow How am I going to play this

嗯我该怎么表现呢

Sophisticated and relaxed

优雅而自然的

Friendly noncommittal

还是友好而含糊的

Cold and distant

或者冷淡且陌生的

Hi guys

你们好

Hello

你好

I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened

看来你决定用悲剧和惊恐来面对了

It's one of his best moves

这是他的拿手好戏

So my dear we meet again

亲爱的我们又见面了

Hello Howard

好啊霍华德

I've missed you

我想你了

I've missed you Katee Sackhoff

我也想你了凯蒂·萨克霍夫

(《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》女主演之一)

One question Anything

-问个问题 -随便问

Why am I wearing my Battlestar Galactica flight suit in bed

为什么我会在床上穿着《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》的战斗服

Why are you in bed with me

那你又为什么你会和我同床呢

If we start to question this it all falls apart

如果我们开始质疑这个那就太崩溃了

Sorry

不好意思

Oh ravish me Howard

噢强力地占有我吧霍华德

My loins ache for you

我愿为你尽折腰

Okay if you insist

好吧既然你如此坚持的话

Howard have you seen my girdle

霍华德你看到我的束腹紧身裤了吗

No Ma

没有妈

I can't find it and I'm late for my Weight Watchers meeting

我找不着了而且减肥族大会就快要迟到了

Maybe it committed suicide

也许它自杀了

Leave me alone

少烦我

Now where were we

好了刚才到哪儿了

I believe you were about

我觉得你想要

to rip off my uniform with your teeth

用你的牙齿扒下我的制服了

Bernadette

伯纳黛特

What are you doing here

你在这儿干嘛

Well if I had to guess I'd say I'm here

我猜的话估计是

because you saw me earlier this evening

因为你今晚见到我了

and you're still hung up on me

而你还对我有留恋

No I'm not

才没有呢

Clearly you are

很明显有

Otherwise based on past experience

否则根据以往经验

we'd be done by now

我们现在都该完事儿了

Okay I'm a little confused here

好吧我现在有点混乱了

Oh my Can I help

亲爱的我能帮什么吗

Not that kind of confused

又不是那方面的困惑

What's George Takei doing here

武井乔治在这儿干嘛

(《星际迷航》中苏鲁的扮演者本人为同性恋)

Howard do you have latent homosexual tendencies

霍华德你有隐性的同性恋倾向吗

No of course not

当然没有了

So you say

你是这么说了

Yet here I am

而我却站在这儿了

George let me ask you something

乔治我问你个问题

How did you deal with being typecast as a science fiction icon

作为科幻人物象征你是如何应对连续出演同类角色的

It's difficult

是很难

You try and stretch as an actor

作为演员你想拓展戏路

do Strindberg O'Neill

尝试下斯特林堡奥尼尔什么的

but all they want is "Course laid in Captain "

但他们想要的只是"航线已设定船长"

Tell me about it

好好跟我说说

It's frackin' frustrating

这太让我抓狂了

Wait Katee why are you leaving

等等凯蒂你怎么走了

She's leaving because you really want to be with me

她走了是因为你内心深处想和我一起啊

Howard I found my girdle

霍华德我找到我的束腹紧身裤了

It was in the dryer

原来在烘干机里

Great Ma

那太好了妈妈

I think it shrunk

我觉得它缩水了

I'm spilling out like the Pillsbury Doughboy here

我的赘肉就跟面团宝宝似的

(美国贝式堡公司的吉祥物)

And with that mental picture

一想到那个画面

I think we're done for the evening

我想今晚的精神治疗到此为止了

You never told me what happened between you and Bernadette

你从没跟我说过你和伯纳黛特当初为何分手

I did a stupid thing

我做了件蠢事

Yeah I guessed that

我猜也是

It was the kind of thing that makes it kind of hard to face her now

像是那种现在难以面对她的蠢事

That covers anything from farting in bed

你说的这范围广的可以从被窝里放屁

to killing a homeless guy

延伸到杀害流浪汉

Oh my God

哦我的天呐

You ran over a hobo

你真碾死过流浪汉啊

No Stop asking

没有别问了

All right fine So you want to get back together with her

好吧你想跟她重归于好

but you're too ashamed to face her

但却羞于面对她

because of whatever it is you did

就因为你曾经做了某件难以启齿的事

In a nutshell Okay

-差不多 -好吧

Well how about this

那这么做你觉得怎样

Kidnap Bernadette from the opera

你戴上诡异的面具从剧院里

(《歌剧魅影》的情节)

wearing a creepy mask so she doesn't know it's you

把伯纳黛特劫走这样她就认不出你了

Now you see I don't know if you're kidding or not

这么说吧我不知道你是在跟我开玩笑还是怎么着

You're being unreasonable

你开始蛮横无理了

Why can't I have a desk

为什么我就不能有张桌子

Our collaboration is a work of the mind

我们的合作研究是思维上的工作

We don't need desks

我们用不着桌子

You have a desk

但你有桌子啊

Correct But I can't have one

-是的 -但我就不能有了是吧

You're two for two

你说中要点了

Why can't he have a desk Sheldon

为什么他不能有桌子谢尔顿

Oh Lord will this day never end

天呐这一天怎么过不完了

As I've explained repeatedly to Dr Koothrappali

我已经再三向库萨帕里博士解释过了

whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him

以他对美国俗语的理解能力是不能明白

when it's convenient

什么叫做时机妥当的

There's absolutely no money in my budget for additional office furniture

我的预算中绝没有添置额外办公家具的那份了

Oh but there's money for a drawer full of Red Vines

那你就有预算来买一抽屉的红蜡糖

a marshmallow shooting rifle

一把棉花糖步枪

and a super executive ant farm with glow in the dark sand

以及带有夜光沙土的超级蚂蚁工坊[玩具]吗

Yes

是的

Okay what if he buys his own desk

好吧那他出钱买自己的桌子呢

Yeah what if I buy my own desk

是啊要是我买我自己的桌子呢

That's ridiculous Why

-那太荒谬了 -为什么

Because

因为...

Yes

请说

It's my office

这是我的办公室

Sheldon All right all right

-谢尔顿 -好了好了

He can buy his own desk

他可以买他自己的桌子了

And I can put it in your office

而且我可以放进你的办公室里

Well you really want to dot the I's and cross the T's don't you

你还真的想得寸进尺了是吧

Why would you want a glow in the dark ant farm

为何你要买带夜光沙土的蚂蚁工坊呢

They do some of their best work at night

因为蚂蚁有些工作晚上做更出色

Ah it's okay

这个还能穿

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me

如果知道是我敲门你还会开吗

Not since I found out

自从我发现

the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it

你给我的泰迪熊安了摄像头之后就不会了

I just have a question

我只是有个问题想问

Does Bernadette ever talk about me

伯纳黛特有跟你提起过我吗

Oh absolutely

哦当然有啊

She does Yeah sure

-她提过吗 -当然

Just yesterday she asked

就在昨天她还问我

"Why is Howard hiding under the table "

为什么霍华德要躲在桌子底下

She saw that huh

她看见了是吧

Oh no not at first

没没一开始没有

Right after I pointed it out

但在我告诉她后就...

Let me ask you something else

我问你点别的吧

Is she seeing anybody

她有跟谁交往吗

Oh not that I know of

据我所知没有吧

Hey while we're on the subject

既然说到了这个话题

why did you guys break up anyway

我想了解你们当初为何分手了

Oh I'd rather not say

我觉得还是不说为好

Howard if you want my help I've got to know what happened

霍华德你如果想得到我的帮助就得让我知道

But it's embarrassing

但说出来有些尴尬

Yeah that's what I'm counting on Spill

是啊我就期待着这个呢进来吧

Okay Well you know World of Warcraft

好吧你听过魔兽世界吧

Um the online game Sure

那个网络游戏吗当然

Well did you know

那你可否知道

that the characters in the game can have sex with each other

游戏中的角色是可以互相发生性关系的

Oh God I think I see where this is going

哦天呐我想我有点头绪了

Her name was Glissinda the Troll

她叫巨魔葛林新蒂

Bernadette walked in on me

当伯纳黛特来找我的时候

while we were doing the cyber nasty under the Bridge of Souls

我们正在灵魂之桥下翻云覆雨呢

Oh you're right That is so embarrassing

你说的没错这是够糗的了

Would you talk to her

你能跟她说说吗

Bernadette or the troll

伯纳黛特还是巨魔

Bernadette She was so mad at me

伯纳黛特她太生我气了

she wouldn't even listen to my side of the story

她甚至都没听我的解释

Well what was your side

那你的解释是什么

Well for all we know Glissinda the Troll wasn't even a real woman

那个巨魔葛林新蒂只是个虚拟的女人

I mean she could've been a 50 year old truck driver in New Jersey

我是说她也可能是个年届50在新泽西开卡车的人呢

Really And that didn't make her feel better

真的假的那这么说没让她消消气吗

Will you talk to her see if there's any chance at all

你能帮我去问问看吗看看我们还有没有

we could get back together

重归于好的可能性了

Oh gee Howard I really don't want to get in the middle of this

天霍华德我真不想趟你俩这趟浑水

No Why would you

别啊你怎么忍心呢

I'm just another lonely nerd living with his mother

我这个孤单的书呆子和老妈相依为命

trying to find any scrap of happiness he can

努力寻求哪怕是一丝丝的幸福

You know maybe to make up for

也许是为了弥补

the fact that his dad left him when he was 11

11岁时父亲就离开他的缺憾吧

Okay I will think about it

好吧我会考虑的

You know I've always blamed myself

我一直在为父亲的出走

for him leaving

而深深自责

I always thought it was because I wasn't the son he wanted

我一直觉得那是因为他根本不想要我这个儿子

Yeah I said I'd think about it

行了我说了我会考虑的

I wasn't athletic yeah I was kind of sickly

我体育不好又有点病怏怏的

Okay fine Look look I'm calling her now See

行了好了我在给她打电话了看见没

Thank you

谢谢

So anyway Howard asked Penny to talk to Bernadette

总之霍华德请佩妮帮忙牵线伯纳黛特

and she did

然后她照办了

and Bernadette agreed to meet him for a cup of coffee

接着伯纳黛特同意跟他见面一起喝杯咖啡

One question Yeah

-我有个问题 -问吧

Why on earth are you telling me all this

你干嘛跟我说这些

I don't know

不知道

Sometimes your movements are so lifelike

有时候你的动作如此栩栩如生

I forget you're not a real boy

我都忘了你其实不是人

You said I could buy a desk

是你说我可以买张书桌的

This isn't a desk

这东西压根不是书桌

This is a Brobdingnagian monstrosity

这是个...硕大无朋的怪物

Is that the American idiom for "Giant big ass desk"

这是美国俗语里面对"巨大的书桌"的叫法吗

It's actually British

其实是英式英语的说法

Can you say it again for me

能给我再说一遍吗

Brobdingnagian

硕大无朋

One more time

再来一遍

Brobdingnagian

硕大无朋

Now three times fast

来个三倍速的

Brobdingnagian Brobdingna

硕大无朋硕大无...

How did you even get it in here

你怎么把它给弄进来的

That's for me Ramon Julio Jesus and Rodrigo to know

秘诀只有我拉蒙和胡里奥耶稣还有罗德里格知道

自己想哦

All right you've made your point

好吧你的立场明摆着了

A fine prank very amusing

很有意思的恶作剧

Now get it out

现在给我搬出去

No Yes

-不 -搬

No Yes

-不 -搬

No Yes

-不 -搬

I have three brothers and two sisters Sheldon

我有仨兄弟俩姐妹谢尔顿

I can do this all day

磨嘴皮子你休想赢我

All right if you're not going to remove it

好吧既然你不搬

I'll remove it for you

我来给你搬

Knock yourself out

请自便

Help me move my desk

帮我搬一下我的书桌

No Yes

-不 -搬

No Yes

-不 -搬

No It's too Brobdingnagian

不这也过于硕大无朋了

Why do you even want this here

你怎么会想把这东西弄来这儿

Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose

它的大小与用途完全不成比例

Well seeing as its purpose was to piss you off

要说它的用途就是让你不爽的话

I'd say it's spot on

我看真是恰到好处

All right I see what's going on

好了我明白怎么回事了

This is the opening salvo in what will be

你就是公开对我宣战

an escalating series of juvenile tit for tat exchanges

接下来就是一系列越演越烈的幼稚的针锋相对

Well titted

这个回合你赢了

Thank you

多谢夸奖

Stand by for my upcoming tat

你给我走着瞧

Hey Sheldon

谢尔顿

Yes

什么事

不没事

See what I did there I turned it around

发现没我把这两句话给转过来了

Sorry I had to clock out

抱歉我得打卡下班

Oh no that's okay

没事没关系的

How have you been

你过得怎么样

Okay You know busy school work You

还好了就是忙着读书上班什么的你呢

Same I took a scuba diving course over the summer

一样夏天时我选了一门戴水肺潜水的课程

but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean

结果发现我很怕海

Too bad

太糟糕了

You wouldn't know anybody

你有没有认识的人

who wants to buy a wet suit boy's large

想买大号儿童潜水衣的

Yeah forget it Not important

算了这不重要

So are you seeing anyone

你有跟人交往吗

Well to be honest I Hey how are we doing over here

-说实话我 -嗨在忙什么呢

Can I get you something to drink

要不要给你们点杯饮料

Not for me thanks I'm okay

-我不用谢谢 -我也不用

Are you gonna want to order food

要不要点些吃的

Maybe later Okay

-待会再点吧 -好的

So are you seeing anybody

那么你在跟人交往吗

没有

That's what I told him when he asked me

他问我的时候我也是这么说的

I hope that's not out of line

希望这不算太冒昧吧

No it's fine Penny can we have a little privacy

-不没事 -佩妮能让我们独处一会儿吗

Oh I'm sorry

抱歉

What about you have you been seeing anybody

你呢你有没有跟其他人交往

Well you know how it is with guys

你知道男人嘛

I mean we have needs and

总是有需要的

So you've been seeing other girls

这么说你在和其他女孩交往

Well not real girls

不是真实的女孩

Does that mean slutty trolls

你是说那个风骚的巨魔吗

You know you look thirsty

你们俩看起来很渴

I brought you some iced tea Thank you

-我给你们拿了冰茶 -谢谢

It's passion fruit new on the menu

这是百香果本店新品哦

I know I work here Oh sorry

-我知道我在这上班呢 -抱歉

Yeah you're right Doy

你说得对这不明摆着嘛

So Howard trolls yay or nay

霍华德巨魔那事儿说不说

Isn't there somewhere else you can be

别老杵在这儿行吗

Not where I can hear you guys

那样我就听不着你俩聊天了

Okay fine

好吧好了

I'll admit there are dark sordid little corners of the Internet

我承认在互联网的某些黑暗肮脏的角落

where the name Wolowizard is whispered in hushed tones

确实有人在喃喃呼唤沃罗法师这个名字

The only reason I go there

我去那些地方不过是因为

the only reason I've ever gone there

我曾那样做的唯一原因

is because I don't have a real woman in my life

是因为我生命中一直没有真正的女友

You happy Yeah that'll hold me for a while

-这下你爽了 -对能放过你们一小会了

Howard you did have a real woman

霍华德你有过真正的女友

I was right there in the next room

我当时就在隔壁房间

while you were clicking that troll's brains out

而你却疯狂地撸着鼠标跟巨魔进行剧烈运动

Yeah but we weren't

对但我们从未...

I I mean you and I never

我是说你我从未...

Had sex

上过床

Yeah

对

Well whose fault was that

那又是谁的错呢

Complimentary nachos

免费赠送的墨西哥玉米片

You enjoy

慢慢享用

Never had sex

从未上过床哇

What do you mean whose fault was that

你什么意思问我那是谁的错

Well we could've been having sex

我们本可以上床的

but you never made the move

但你从未主动采取行动

I didn't think you wanted me to make the move

我以为是你不想我采取行动的

Howard a girl doesn't go out with a man like you

霍华德女孩才不会跟你这样的人约会

with your looks your fancy patter and your tight hoochie pants

就你那长相说话那德性还有那小紧身裤

if she's not expecting him to eventually make the move

除非她是想让你主动采取行动的

Really

真的吗

Really

真的

Son of a bitch

妈的我早干嘛去了

Hey this is a little awkward

我真有点说不出口

but my manager says I can't actually give nachos away

但经理说我无权免费赠送玉米片

So just take that when you're ready

所以谈好了记得买单啊

Yeah we had a really great talk

对我俩谈得很愉快

and we're gonna start seeing each other again

决定重新开始约会

Oh congratulations

恭喜你们

Have you broken it to the troll yet

那你跟那巨魔分了吗

Did Penny tell you about that

是佩妮告诉你的

No Steve Patterson told me

不是史蒂夫·帕特森说的

The greasy old fat guy in Facilities Management

设备管理部那恶心的老胖子

Yeah How'd he know about it

-对 -他怎么知道的

He's Glissinda the troll

他就是巨魔葛林新蒂

Sorry dude the thermostat's on my side of the room

抱歉兄弟温度调节器在我这边

so it stays Mumbai hot in here

温度就定在跟孟买一样热

until you turn off that stupid Indian music

除非你关了那愚蠢的印度音乐

I'll turn off the music

我自然会关了音乐

when you get rid of that salmonella ridden parakeet

只要你处理掉那只携带着沙门氏菌的鹦鹉

Oh too bad Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds

太糟了原来谢尔顿病态地怕鸟

Hey look Sheldon Birdie birdie birdie

来看啊谢尔顿小鸟小鸟小鸟

That's it Prepare for marshmallow death

我受够了看我的棉花糖子弹受死吧

Eat flaming Nerf

你也吃我一枪

So anyway

话说回来...

That's great news about you and Bernadette

你跟伯纳黛特能和好真是太好了

Yeah I think I'm gonna take her to miniature golf

是啊我想带她去打迷你高尔夫

Ah I guess for you guys that's like regular golf

对你们来说那就相当于正常的高尔夫了

Short jokes Really

笑我矮真的吗

You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me

你也就比我高那么1/4英寸罢了

Yeah and don't you forget it

对记得我比你高就好

I had a good time

我过得很愉快

Me too

我也是

Kiss her good night

跟她吻别

All right now a little tongue

好了该来点舌吻了

Hold on there

别轻举妄动

We've only just rekindled the romance

我们才刚刚重燃爱火

Let's not sully the moment with the exchange of saliva

别让过早的唾液交换破坏了这美妙一刻

Don't listen to him

别听他的

She wants it

她也想要的

Tongue

舌吻

See

看到了吧

Now make the move

该主动出击了

Too soon

太快了

Trust me she's ready

相信我她准备好了

Make the move

主动出击

No no no

别

A lady wants to be wooed courted slowly

女士都想被好好追求慢慢献殷勤

How would you know

你怎么知道的

I read

书上看来的

Listen to me Howard it's time

听我的霍华德是时候了

Make the move now

主动出击快

What are you doing

你在干嘛

You said well the "Move " Remember

是你让我主动行动的记得吗

Oh not now

但不是现在

We're starting a new relationship

我们才刚重新开始

I need to get to know you again

我还需要重新了解你

No you don't

不用重新了解的

It's me

我还是我呀

The lusty charmer with the fancy patter

说话这副德性还身穿小紧身裤的

and the hoochie pants

风流小可爱

Be patient we'll get there

耐心点总有那么一天的

Told you

我就说嘛

Oh God what's that smell

天这什么味

Yes

有事吗

What are you doing in there

你们在那里面干嘛呢

I'm making hydrogen sulfide and ammonia gas

我正在制造硫化氢和氨气

Just a little experiment in pest control

只是个防治害虫的小实验罢了

It's not gonna work dude I grew up in India

对付我没用的兄弟我可是在印度长大的

an entire subcontinent where cows walk in the street

那整片次大陆上牛儿满大街乱窜

and nobody has ever had a solid bowel movement

就没个人能有过正常的"肠胃运动"

Well we'll just see how long you can hold out

那就看看你还能坚持多久

Well we'll just see how your noxious gas

那我们就来看看你的有害气体

fares against my cinnamon apple scented aroma therapy candles

跟我的肉桂苹果芳香蜡烛哪个更厉害

Didn't you say you're making hydrogen sulfide gas

你不是说你在制造硫化氢气体

Yes Isn't that flammable

-没错 -那不是很易燃的吗

Highly

极易燃

Oh dear

哦天哪

This is not over

这事跟你没完