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第三季第八集
生活大爆炸
How much time do we have
我们还有多少时间
Uh T minus five hours 37 minutes
倒数5小时37分钟
to onset of meteor shower
流星雨开始
Okay our position is 34 48 degrees north 118 31 west
我们的位置是北纬34.48° 西经118.21°
That means the azimuth should be
这意味着方位角应该是...
168 22 degrees relative to magnetic north
相对磁北168.22°
with an elevation of 49 93
外加仰角49.93°
Anything yet
有什么了吗
Uh we have a signal but there's no frame lock
我们有信号 却不能锁定坐标
Hang on How about now
等等 现在如何
We did it
我们成功了
We have the West Coast feed of HBO
我们收到西海岸HBO电视台的信号了
Ooh Real Sex
哇 《真实性爱》
Big deal Every time I watch that show
这可好看了 每次我看这节目
it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers
都是个老女人往黄瓜上套安全套
All right let's see what's on the East Coast feed
那好 让我们来看看东海岸在播什么
Oh hey Dune
喔 是《沙丘》
Not a great movie
不算是个好电影
but look at that beautiful desert
但看看这美丽的沙漠啊
Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us
谢尔顿不能来真可惜
Yeah it's just not the same without him
没有他在感觉有点不大对头
Oh this sucks I'm switching back to Real Sex
这电影太烂了 我换回去看《真实性爱》
Sheldon's log
谢尔顿日志
Stardate 63345 3
星历63345.3
While my colleagues are off
当我的同事们离开
observing the Leonid meteor shower
去观测狮子座流星雨时
I have remained behind to complete my paper
我留守后方完成我关于
on the decays of highly excited massive string states
高激发态大质量弦状态衰变的论文
Although my research is going well
尽管我的研究进展顺利
I do miss the warmth of human companionship
我确实很想念人类陪伴的温暖
And good evening to you Siam Palace
晚上好 暹罗宫
This is Sheldon Cooper
我是谢尔顿·库珀
Yeah I'm going to be dining alone this evening
我今晚要孤独一人进餐
so I'll be reducing my usual order
所以我要减少通常的菜单
I'd like to start with one quarter
我的前菜要四分之一份
of the Assorted Appetizers Plate
什锦小吃
and uh one half of the Golden Treasure for two
然后要两人份的金宝贝的一半
Oh for heaven's sake In the mid 18th century
看在老天的份上 在18世纪中页
King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire
暹罗国王拉玛四世将巨大的帝国
amongst the colonial powers of Europe
割让给了欧洲的各大殖民势力
in order to preserve his throne
目的是为了保住王位
Surely you his cultural descendant
理所当然的 你 他的文化继承者
can handle pad Thai and dumplings
也能搞定这些泰式炒面和饺子
Sheldon help
谢尔顿 救命
I need to go but you keep in mind
我要挂了 但是记住我在yelp.com那些
that my sharply worded comments
关于一家本地松饼店
on Yelp com recently took down a local muffin store
言辞尖锐的评论
Penny Penny Penny
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
Come in Hurry
进来 快点
Penny
佩妮
I'm back here
我在里面
Penny Penny Penny
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
Oh for God's sakes I'm in the bathroom
哦 老天 我在浴室里
Shall I come back at a better time
我该挑个更恰当的时机再来吗
Get in here
给我进来
Hurry
快点
Don't you dare knock
你敢再敲门试试
Hello
你好
I slipped in the shower
我在浴缸里滑倒了
and I think I dislocated my shoulder
我觉得肩膀好像脱臼了
Not surprising
这不奇怪
You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers
你没有装防滑垫或者防滑贴纸
to allow for purchase on a surface
来抵消浴缸表面的
with a low coefficient of static friction
很低的静摩擦系数
What
什么
Tubs are slippery
浴缸都很滑的
I know I slipped
我知道 我滑倒了
I have a series of whimsical duck stickers
我有一个系列的古怪鸭贴纸
on the bottom of my tub
贴在我的浴缸底部
Yeah okay whatever
好吧 无论如何
Will you just turn the water off and help me up
你能把水关掉再扶我起来吗
They're holding umbrellas
他们都撑着伞的
What
什么
The ducks in my tub
我浴缸里的鸭子
They're whimsical because ducks have neither a need for
它们怪就怪在这些鸭子既没有需要
nor the ability to use umbrellas
也没有能力来使用雨伞
Oh my God I got to go to the emergency room
上帝啊 我得去急救中心了
Well assuming you're correct that your right humerus
如果你确定你的右上膊骨
is no longer seated in the glenoid socket
不再固定在肩臼上
I would certainly think so Okay can you drive me
-我当然认为你该去急救中心 -你能车我去吗
I don't drive
我不开车的
Well I can't drive
但我开不了
Well it seems we've reached an impasse
看来我们到达了一个僵局
I could call you a cab or an ambulance
我可以帮你叫辆的士或者救护车
No no no I can't wait that long
不 不 不 我等不及了
You got to help me please
你必须得帮我 求你了
All right Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper
好的 不能让人说谢尔顿·李·库珀
ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress
是个无视陷入困境的少女的人
No one's saying that Let's go
没人这么说 快走吧
Well it does seem rather ironic
因没买99美分的防滑鸭子
that for want of 99 cent adhesive ducks
而导致两个人都可能死于惨烈的车祸
we both might die in a fiery car crash
这看上去真是非常讽刺
I wish Penny didn't have to work
我真希望佩妮不用去工作
She loves camping
她喜欢野营
Yeah that would have been great
是啊 那就太好了
You and Penny having sex in the tent
你和佩妮在帐篷里做爱
while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus
而我则坐在外面看霍华德拿仙人掌爆菊
Okay the best I can tell
好的 我已经尽力侦查了
there are eight other campsites nearby
附近还有8个野营地
Mostly science nerds like us
大多都是像我们这样的科学呆子
but just over yon ridge are two
不过山脊另一边
not unattractive middle school teachers
有两位不无魅力的中学老师
who reek of desperation
浑身散发着绝望主妇的气息
Wow Wonderful
太好了
How old are they I don't know
-她们多大 -我不知道
50 55
50岁 55岁吧
Oh menopause
更年期妇女
Nature's birth control
天然的节育控制
Come on
拜托
You guys can't be that hard up
你们不会这么饥渴吧
I am Yeah me too
-我饥渴 -我也是
Look they gave me homemade cookies
看 她们还送了点自制曲奇给我们
Of course they did
当然会给
That's what grandmothers do
老奶奶都这样
So what are we waiting for
那我们还等什么
Relax
悠着点
I said we'd stop by a little later
我说等她们打完盹
after they have their nap
我们再过去
Good idea
好主意
They'll be refreshed
睡醒精力比较足
Cookie
吃曲奇吗
Yeah Thank you
好 谢谢
Not bad
不错啊
Yeah very tasty
很好吃啊
Well so tell me more about these teachers
再说说那些老师的情况
Not much to tell
没什么了
They had a VW microbus
她们开了辆大众车
and were wearing tie dyed Grateful Dead T shirts
穿着扎染的感恩而死乐队T恤
Good cookies
美味曲奇
I see no organizational system in here whatsoever
这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言
Which panties do you wear on Mondays
你周一穿什么内裤
I don't need panties
我不要内裤
I just need shorts and a shirt
只要短裤和衬衫
My mother always told me
妈妈经常跟我说
one should wear clean underpants
一个人要穿干净内裤
in case one is in an accident
以防发生意外
One was already in an accident
我已经发生意外了
That doesn't mean one won't be in another
那不表示不会再发生意外
especially if I'm driving
尤其是我开车的情况下
Clothes Sheldon
拿衣服 谢尔顿
I need clothes Okay
-我要衣服 -好啦
Here
Seriously Those shorts with that top
不会吧 这条裤子配这件上衣
All right
好吧
No
不行
No
不行
Oh that's cute
这件好看
We should have you checked for a concussion
一会儿该给你查查有没有脑震荡
Okay
好了
Now you got to help me put these on
你得帮我穿衣服
All right But don't look
-好吧 -不许看啊
Don't look I don't want you to see me naked
-不许看? -我不想让你看我裸体
Oh
Well that's understandable
这可以理解
You may be interested to know
你或许会有兴趣知道
that a prohibition against looking
禁止看对方
is well established in heroic mythology
早在英雄神话里就有确立
Uh Lot and his wife Perseus and Medusa
洛特王和他妻子 珀尔修斯和美杜莎
Orpheus and Eurydice Yeah great
-奥菲士和欧律狄刻 -知道啦
They always look
他们都看了
It never ends well
结局都很不好
Okay Now you got help me get my arm into the sleeve
好了 现在帮我把手穿进袖子
Okay
好的
Is that my arm
那是我的手臂吗
It doesn't feel like an arm
感觉不像手臂
Then maybe you should let it go
那你是不是该放手了
All righty
好滴
Stars are pretty aren't they
星星好漂漂啊
Up above the world so high
在那高高的地方
Like little diamonds in the sky
像天上的小钻石
That's beautiful dude
太优美了 兄弟
You should you should write that down
你应该把这句话写下来
before someone steals it
免得被人山寨了
So when do the meteors get here
流星雨什么时候来
The meteors don't get here
不是流星雨来这里
The Earth is moving into their path
是地球走到他们的轨道上了
I can feel it
我能感觉到
I can feel the Earth moving
我能感觉到地球在移动
It's moving too fast
移动得太快
Raj slow it down
拉杰 让地球慢点
Okay how's that
行了 现在如何
Better Thanks
好多了 谢谢
Stars are pretty aren't they
星星多漂漂啊
What's so funny
笑什么
It's your American accent
笑你的美国口音
Everything you say sounds stupid
你说的话都很傻逼
"Stars are pretty aren't they "
星星多漂漂啊
For the record I should let you know
为准确起见 我得告诉你
this is my first time driving an actual motor vehicle
这是我第一次开真的汽车
You have your learner's permit right
你有实习驾照吧
Yes and I have logged
有 我还在
a considerable number of hours on a simulator
模拟装置上开了很长时间
Good Didn't work out well
-那就行 -但效果不太好
All right can we please go One moment
-行了 能开了吗 -等一下
According to my driver's ed book
驾驶培训书里说
the side mirror is properly adjusted
侧视镜的正确角度是
when the driver's door handle
调到能在镜子的右下角
is visible in the lower right corner
看到部分门把手
There's the handle
看到门拉手了
Oh no too far
不不 太过了
Bringing it back
往回一点点
Optimized
这才正好
Now where is the switch
好 调整副驾驶座
to adjust the passenger side mirror
后视镜的调节器呢
It's right there
就在这里
Where is the passenger side mirror
副驾驶座的后视镜在哪儿呢
In a parking lot in Hollywood
在好莱坞的停车场时被撞掉了
Now can we please go Yes
-行行好 我们能走了吗 -好
As soon as I adjust my seat
先等我调整好座椅
Oh dear
噢 老天
I'm going to have to start again
我又得重来一次
If I could speak the language of rabbits
如果我会说兔子的语言
that will be amazed I will be their king
那就太美妙了 我将成为兔王
I hate my name
我讨厌我的名字
It has "nerd" in it
读起来像个呆子
Len nerd
莱呆子
I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie
我的第一次是和我的表姐珍妮
I would be kind to my rabbit subjects
我会仁慈地对待我的兔民们
At first
当然只是开始而已
You know what's a cool name
知道什么才叫酷名吗
Angelo
安杰洛
That has angel and Jell O in it
有天使又有洁露果子冻
It was my Uncle Murray's funeral
那是在我穆雷舅舅的葬礼上
We were all back at my Aunt Barbara's house
我们在芭芭拉阿姨的房子后面
Our eyes locked over the pickled herring
透过一条腌鲱鱼 我们四目相接
We never meant for it to happen
我们本来没想着会发生关系的
One day I hold a great ball for the President of France
一天 我为法国总统举办了一场盛大舞会
but the rabbits they hate me and don't come
但是兔民们 因为憎恨我而没来捧场
I am embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world
我极为尴尬 于是我逼它们眼睁睁地看着
and make them watch
我吃光世界上所有的莴苣
People could call me Angie
别人可以昵称我安吉
la Sylvester Stallone Yo Angie how's it goin'
(史泰龙状) 哟 安吉 最近咋样
To this day I can't look at pickled herring
直到如今 每次一看到腌鲱鱼
without being aroused and ashamed
就会忍不住尴尬性奋
Oh Cousin Jeanie
噢 珍妮阿姐
Could you please drive a little faster
你就不能开快点吗
Oh I think we're going sufficiently fast
我觉得已经够快了
What's that
什么情况
Nothing The engine does that sometimes
没事 引擎时不时会这样
It can't be nothing
没事才怪
The check engine light is on
检查引擎指示灯都亮了
We need to find a service station
我们得去服务站
No The light has been on since I bought the car
自我买回这辆车 这灯就一直亮着
All the more reason
那就更应该去了
to consult with a mechanic before it explodes
趁这车爆炸之前 找维修师来处理
It's not going to explode
爆炸个鬼啊
Just keep driving
快开车
Warp speed ahead Mr Spock
曲速前进 史波克长官
Mr Spock did not pilot the Enterprise
史波克不是企业号的驾驶员
He was the science officer and I guarantee you that
他是科学官 还有我保证
if he ever saw the Enterprise's check engine light blinking
只要他看到企业号的检查引擎指示灯
he would pull the ship over immediately
闪那么一下 他会立刻下令靠边停
Oh God I'm gonna lose the arm
老天 我的手臂完了
Oh well red light
红灯
Release accelerator
先松开油门
and slowly apply the brake
然后要慢慢地踩刹车
Nailed it
搞定
While we have a moment may I ask you a question
趁现在空着 能问你个问题吗
What
Why do you have the Chinese character for soup
你为什么在右屁股上
tattooed on your right buttock
纹了个中国字"汤"的纹身
It's not soup
那不是"汤"
It's courage
是"勇"
No it isn't
才不是
But I suppose it does take courage
但我猜想 要表现出对汤的热忱
to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup
还真是需要不少勇气
How did you see it
你怎么会看到
You said you wouldn't look
你说了不看的
Sorry
不好意思
As I told you the hero always peeks
正如我所说 是英雄 就偷窥
Anything
找到了吗
No That was the last pudding cup
没有 你吃掉了最后一个布丁
No
What about Slim Jims
史吉牌牛肉小吃呢(美国牛肉小吃品牌)
That's what he used to eat his pudding remember
他刚才就着布丁吃光了 忘了吗
Right That was so good
没错 太美味了
Sweety and meaty at the same time
甜甜肉肉的混合口感真棒
Wait Wait wait So you're saying
等等 你是说
we're out of food
我们吃光食物了吗
The only thing in here are blue ice packs
里面只剩下蓝色冰袋了
I know they're poison
虽然深知它们有毒
but they look like big yummy otter pops
但还是像极了美味诱人的吸的冻
Oh God I am so hungry
老天爷 我饿死了
Me too
我也是
Check and see if we have any more pudding
再看看我们还有布丁没
Okay
好吧
All right there's no need to bark at me
好吧 也没必要冲我吼吧
According to the inexplicably irritable nurse
那位莫名暴躁的
behind the desk
接待护士说
you'll be seen after the man
你排在那个声称自己
who claims to be having a heart attack
有心脏病的男人后面
but appears to be well enough
但在我看来 他健康得很
to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone
还能在他的iPhone上玩涂鸦跳跃呢
We have to fill these out
我们得先填表格
"Describe illness or injury "
"请描述病情和伤情情况"
I dislocated my shoulder
肩膀脱臼
All right
好吧
And how did the accident occur
发生意外的原因
You already know that
你不是已经知道了吗
"Cause of accident "
"意外原因"
"Lack of adhesive ducks "
"没有防滑小鸭"
Okay medical history
好了 病史
"Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes "
你有过糖尿病史吗
No Kidney disease
-没有 -肾病呢
No Migraines
-没有 -偏头痛
Getting one
马上就有了
Are you currently pregnant No
-你目前怀有身孕吗 -没有
Are you sure You look a bit puffy
确定吗 你看起来可有点肥
Change migraine to yes
偏头痛那里改成"是"
"When was your last menstrual period "
你上次生理期是什么时候
Oh Next question
转下个问题
I'll put "In progress "
我就写 "生理期中"
Okay moving to psychiatric disorders
好了 下面是精神疾病的问题
"List all major behavioral diagnoses
列出所有重大行为方面的病症
"e g depression anxiety etcetera "
例如沮丧 焦虑等等
Oh my God what the hell does this
天哪 这些跟我这该死的肩膀
have to do with my stupid shoulder
又有什么该死的关系
"Episodes of sub psychotic rage "
是否有以下精神疾病发作史
Ass
"Possible Tourette's "
可能患有吐雷氏症
All right "Moles lesions or other skin conditions "
好了 是否有痣斑 病变或其他皮肤问题
"Soup tattoo on right buttock "
右边屁股纹了个"汤"字
Hey Sheldon Sheldon look
谢尔顿 谢尔顿 听我说
I am scared and in a lot of pain
我饱受惊吓 而且疼得厉害
Could you please take a break from being you for
可不可以请你别这么自我
just a minute and try being
让我缓口气 再试着...
I don't know comforting
怎么说呢 安慰一下我
I'm sorry
抱歉
There there
好了好了
Everything's going to be fine
一切都会好起来的
Sheldon's here
有我谢尔顿在
Thanks That's much better
谢谢 这样好多了
Oh I'm so hungry
我饿死啦
Will you shut up
你闭嘴吧
We're all hungry
我们都饿死了
Okay our objective is
好了 我们的抢劫目标是
the Boy Scout campsite to the east
东边那个童子军训练营地
Easy target
很好下手
Big doughy scout master couple of Cubs
手不能提的童军教练 加上几个童军
mostly WeBeLos
大多是幼童军
What kind of score we looking at
具体抢啥东西呢
Hot dogs Buns S'mores
热狗 面包 烤巧克力夹心饼
I mean it's a freaking 7 11
那整个一便利商店嘛
All right everyone grab flashlights
好了 大家都带上手电
Oh my God could it be
天哪 会是那个吗
Yes
太好了
My mother put an "I love you" brisket in my backpack
我妈妈在我包里放了鸡胸肉"爱心便当"
Quick get forks
快 拿叉子
You don't need forks
不需要拿叉子
It's so tender it falls apart in your hands
多嫩的鸡胸肉啊 用手一撕就行了
He's right
他说的没错
I feel like we're forgetting something important
我觉得我们好像忘了啥重要的事
Me too But what
我也是 但是什么捏
Maybe a Tupperware bowl of roasted potatoes and carrots
也许是忘了整整一盒的烤土豆和胡萝卜
Yes Yes
-太好了 -太好了
Now remember you were given powerful pain medication
记住 你刚吃了强力止痛药
and a muscle relaxer
还有肌肉松弛剂
so uh don't operate heavy machinery
所以 千万别去操作重型机械
Try not to choke on your own drool
小心别让自己口水噎到窒息
Wait You have to help me get into bed
等等 你得哄我上床睡觉啊
Sheldon has to get me into bed
谢尔顿哄我睡觉
Bet you never thought I'd say that
我猜你怎么都想不到我会说这话
Yes
是啊
The charm of your drug addled candor knows no bounds
你服下的药物副作用有无限可能
You know people think you're this weird robot man
都说你跟个奇怪的机器人一样
who's so annoying all the time and you totally are
一直都很烦人 说得一点没错
But then it's like that movie Wall E at the end
但现在你就像电影《瓦力》里结局那样
You're so full of love
充满了爱心
and you can save a plant
简直能拯救整个一株植物
and get fat people out of the floaty chairs
拯救那些陷入滑滑椅不能自拔的肥佬
That's a fairly labored metaphor
你这个比喻相当不伦不类
but I appreciate the sentiment behind it
不过对这故事隐含的观点 我很欣赏
Sing "Soft Kitty" to me
唱"乖乖猫"给我听
"Soft Kitty" is for when you're sick
"乖乖猫"是唱给生病的人的
You're not sick
你又没生病
Injured and drugged is a kind of sick
我受伤了还服了药 就相当于生病
Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
Wait wait
等等
Let's sing it as a round
我们来唱和声吧
I'll start
我来起头
Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
So that's where you come in
我唱到这儿你该加进来唱了
I'll start over
我再从头唱起
Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
I've got all night Sheldon
谢尔顿 我有一整晚跟你耗哦
Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
Happy kitty sleepy kitty
快乐猫 瞌睡猫
Happy kitty sleepy kitty
快乐猫 瞌睡猫
Purr purr purr
呜 呜 呜[猫满足时呜呜的叫声]
Purr purr purr
呜 呜 呜
And the next morning when he woke up
第二天早上 他醒了过来
he rolled over and realized
翻了个身 他意识到...
she was his cousin
那是她表妹
That's still not funny
还是不好笑
That's still not funny
还是不好笑
And she was my second cousin
再说她是我的远房表妹
And she was my second cousin
再说她是我的远房表妹
You're a real douche
你真是脑残
Who cares You slept with your cousin
随你说好了 反正你跟自个儿表妹上床了