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Whatcha doin' there
在干嘛呢
Working on a new plan to catch the roadrunner
研究抓哔哔鸟的新方法吗
The humorous implication being that I am Wile E Coyote
你这个幽默暗指我是大笨狼怀尔吗
Yes
没错
And this is a schematic for a bird trapping device
而板上画的捕鸟设备
that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury
最终只会适得其反 让我受伤吗
Yes
没错
What I'm doing here
我正在做的
is trying to determine when I'm going to die
是想计算出我的死亡时间
A lot of people are working on that research
很多人都在做这方面的研究
So what is all this
那这些是什么
My family history factoring in longevity
我家人的寿命长短
propensity for disease et cetera
疾病倾向等信息
Interesting
有意思
Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB
卡尔叔叔的死因是KBB
What's "KBB"
KBB是什么
"Killed by badger "
被獾所杀
How's that
怎么回事
It was Thanksgiving
那是感恩节
Uncle Carl said "I think there's a badger living in our chimney "
卡尔叔叔说"我觉得有只獾住在咱家烟囱里"
"Hand me that flashlight "
"把手电筒给我"
Those were the last words he ever spoke to us
那是他对我们说的最后几句话
I don't think you need
我觉得
to worry about death by badgers being hereditary
你没必要担心被獾所杀会遗传
Not true
不对
The fight or flight instinct is coded genetically
战斗或逃跑的本能受基因控制
Instead of fleeing he chose to fight barehanded
他没选择逃跑 反而赤手空拳
against a brawny member of the weasel family
跟鼬类动物中强壮的一员战斗
Who's to say that I don't share that flawed DNA
谁能肯定我没遗传这种有缺陷的基因
You can always get a badger and find out
你反正可以找只獾来验证的
But seriously
说实在的
even if I disregard the Uncle Carl factor
即使我忽略卡尔叔叔这个因素
at best I have 60 years left
我最多也只剩60年寿命
That long huh
还有那么长啊
60 only takes me to here
60年我只能活到这里
I need to get to here
我要活到这里
What's there
那里有什么
The earliest estimate of the singularity
据预计奇点最早出现的时间
when man will be able to transfer his consciousness
人们能将自己的意识
into machines and achieve immortality
转移进机器而获得永生
So you're upset about missing out
这么说 你不高兴自己会错失
on becoming some sort of freakish self aware robot
变成某种怪异的有自我意识的机器人的机会
By this much
就差这么一点啊
Tough break You want eggs
真可惜 你要吃鸡蛋吗
You don't get it Leonard
你不明白 莱纳德
I'm going to miss so much
我会错过很多东西
the unified field theory cold fusion the dogapus
统一场论 冷聚变 还有章狗
What's a dogapus
章狗是什么
The hybrid dog and octopus
狗和章鱼的杂交动物
Man's underwater best friend
人类在水下的忠实朋友
Is somebody working on that
有人研究这个吗
I was going to
我打算过研究的
I planned on giving it to myself on my 300th birthday
我想把它作为我三百岁的生日礼物
Wait a minute You hate dogs
等等 你讨厌狗
A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls
章狗玩接球时能接八个球
No one can hate that
没有人能讨厌这个
What do we owe you
我们欠你多少钱
It came to $28 17
一共是28.17美元
Let's say six bucks apiece
每人就六美元吧
Here you go
给你
Thank you
谢谢
What
干嘛
Never mind I got it
算了 我请了
Oh you wanted me to pay
你要我给钱啊
It's no big deal No no no no You're right
-不用了 -不不不 你是对的
We're not going out anymore I should pay for myself
我们已经分手了 我应该自己付钱
What
笑什么
He said "If he had woman parts
他说"如果他有女人身子"
"he'd eat for free the rest of his life"
"他后半辈子就不愁吃了"
Yeah but you wouldn't be able to talk to yourself
是啊 可你也没办法跟自己说话了
I'm a little low on cash
我现金有点紧张啊
How much you got Nothing
-你有多少 -没有
How can you walk around with no money
你不带钱怎么出门啊
I'm cute I get by
我漂亮 别人请客
It's okay you can owe me
没事 欠着吧
Thank you Sheldon six bucks
-谢谢 -谢尔顿 六美元
No thank you I'm not eating pizza tonight
不了 谢谢 我今晚不吃披萨
But it's Thursday
可今天是星期四
Thursday's pizza night
星期四是披萨之夜
Not for me
对我来说不是
Thursday is now Cruciferous Vegetable Night
现在改成十字花科蔬菜之夜了
Tonight's selection Brussels sprouts
今晚的特选 小包菜
Really
真的吗
You're changing the Sheldonian calendar
你要改谢尔顿日程表
It's a small price to pay For what
-这只是个小小的代价 -为啥
No no don't ask Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
-不 别问啊 -对不起
In order to live long enough to fuse my consciousness
为了把我的寿命延长到能把意识
with cybernetics I need to change my diet
转移到人造大脑上 我要改变饮食
Wait Cybernetics is robot stuff right
等等 人造大脑是机器人之类的吧
Correct
没错
So you want to turn yourself into some sort of robot
这么说你想把自己变成某种机器人
Essentially yes
本质上是这样
Okay here's my question
我想问个问题
Didn't you already do that
你不是已经变成机器人了吗
Flattering but sadly no
虽然我受宠若惊 可惜还没有
I'm also planning to begin an exercise regimen
我还打算开始一种运动养生法
designed to strengthen my cardiovascular system
加强我的心血管系统
AKA jogging
也就是慢跑
Wait Honey have you ever run before
等等 亲爱的 你以前跑过步吗
Certainly
当然跑过
I've run from bullies dogs angry chickens
我被恶霸 狗和暴走的鸡追过
and one particularly persistent P E teacher
还有个锲而不舍执意要给我做
determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test
脊柱侧弯测试的体育老师
You're right Penny jogs
你说得对 佩妮经常跑步
Maybe you guys can run together
你们可以一起跑的
That's an excellent idea
这主意太棒了
Yeah if we chat
如果我们边跑边聊
it will create the illusion of time going faster
就会感觉时间流逝得更快了
No it won't
绝对不可能
Um how does he know I jog
他怎么知道我跑步的
Oh he watches you from his car with high powered binoculars
因为他在车里用高倍望远镜尾行你
Oh my God that is so creepy
我的天呐 这太猥琐了
I know
我就说嘛
And he says he's not gonna stop
他说他要坚持发扬下去
Then see a shrink and figure out how to talk to women
那找心理医生解决怎么和女人说话的问题啊
What the hell
什么玩意儿
What's the matter
怎么了
I have pain radiating from my navel
疼痛以我的肚脐为起点
to my lower right abdomen
延伸到我的右下腹
I'm nauseated and feverish
我感到恶心和发热
I believe I may have cholera
我觉得我得霍乱了
There's no cholera in Pasadena
帕萨迪纳才没霍乱呢
Just like last summer when there was no malaria in Pasadena
就跟去年夏天帕萨迪纳也没有疟疾一样
Well if it's not cholera
好吧 如果那不是霍乱
then based on a quick Internet search
根据搜索结果
the other explanations in decreasing order of likelihood
由相似度递减排列的其他解释分别是
are Hirschsprung's Disease botulism a 30 foot tapeworm
先天性巨结肠 肉毒杆菌中毒 一条30英尺长的绦虫
or accidental ingestion of chrysanthemum blossoms
或者是不小心摄入菊花
When would you have accidentally eaten chrysanthemum blossoms
你什么时候会不小心摄入菊花的
It's part of an unlikely scenario
这是包括了梦游
that involves sleepwalking and a 24 hour flower mart
和24小时营业的花店
with a less than vigilant proprietor
以及不靠谱的经营者的不可能场景
Oh Lord my belly
噢 老天 我的肚子
Ever had your appendix out
你切除过阑尾吗
I haven't
没有
I've been meaning to but who has the time
我想来着 但谁有那时间啊
Let's get you to the hospital
我送你去医院吧
So this is how it ends
于是乎就此了结
with cruel irony
真是无比残酷的讽刺
Just as I make the commitment to preserving my body
正当我保证要保护爱惜自己的身体之时
I am betrayed by my appendix a vestigial organ
我被自己的阑尾所背叛 就一退化的器官
Do you know the original purpose of the appendix Leonard
你知道阑尾原本的作用是什么吗 莱纳德
No
不知道
I do And yet I'm doomed while you live on
我知道 而知道太多的却灭亡而你却能继续活下去
Funny how things work out isn't it
结局很出乎意料 是不是
Oh Lord I think it's about to burst
噢 天呐 我感觉要爆炸了
On the other hand
还有种可能
it might have been the Brussels sprouts
也许都是小包菜的错
Good night
晚安您呐
Good night
晚安
Appendicitis
阑尾炎
What a nervous Nelly
自己紧张个甚啊
Penny Penny Penny
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
Coming coming
来啦 来啦
Hey nice knees
嘿 跑鞋不错嘛
Thank you
谢谢
They're my mother's
这是我娘的
Oh And the Flash shirt is what
闪电侠T恤是什么意思
Because what you're gonna run really fast
你要跑的飞快吗
No the Flash shirt is because it's Friday
不是 穿闪电侠衫是因为今天是星期五
but it's nice when things work out
但要是真能有效就更好了
Where's your heart rate monitor I don't have one
-你的心率监测器在哪儿 -没有
What about your pedometer Don't have one
-计步器呢 -没有
Do you have telematics in your shoes connected to an iPod
那你鞋子里有传感器连接到iPod吗
Uh no What do you do
-没 -那你干嘛呢
You just go out there and gambol about like a bunny
就出去像兔子一样随便蹦蹦跳跳一下吗
No I just run till I'm hungry then I stop for a bear claw
不 也就跑到饿了 然后买个熊爪包吃
Why are you doing that
为什么要这么做
It's good to stretch your muscles before you run
在跑步前最好拉伸下肌肉
All right
好吧
Let's start with a toe touch
先来摸个脚趾
Okay you do it
你来做一个
I am doing it
我正做着呢
Oh Wow Good job
哇哦 不错
Can you do this
你能做这个么
We'll never know
我们永远也不会知道的
Okay let's just warm up on the run
好吧 那边跑边热身吧
Okay Okay let's go
-好的 -那出发吧
I've been reading up on biomechanics
我最近一直在读生物力学的书
I think you'll be surprised at my
我认为你会惊讶于我的...
Oh my God are you okay
我的天呐 你还好吗
I think so
应该吧
Oh let me help you up Thank you
-我来拉你一把吧 -谢谢
Oh Sheldon
噢 谢尔顿
If it makes you feel any better
如果这能让你觉得好些的话
Thursday is no longer Cruciferous Vegetable Night
星期四不再是十字花科蔬菜之夜了
Here's my chicken curry
这是我的咖喱鸡
Howard your shrimp biryani
霍华德的鲜虾菜饭
Thank you sir Palak paneer that's Penny
-谢谢您 -菠菜奶豆腐 是佩妮的
Thanks And for Rajesh Koothrappali
-谢谢 -而拉杰·库萨帕里的
from whose homeland these tasty dishes originate
家乡发明出这些美味佳肴的人
one large order of chicken McNuggets
一个大份的麦乐鸡
Hey what's my share Uh 12 bucks
-我的这份多少钱 -12刀
Okay can I get you after Friday when I get paid Sure
-我能周五付工资以后再还你吗 -没问题
What am I up to now
我欠你多少了
Well okay with the Indian food the pizza
呃 算上印度菜 比萨
the Thai food the tank of gas
泰国菜 一箱油
the frozen yogurt
冷冻酸奶
and your rent uh
外带你的房租 嗯...
a little over $1 400
一千四百多一点吧
What now
又怎么了
He's just expressing his admiration that
他只是表示膜拜
you don't even have to put out to get free stuff
你不用献身也能蹭吃蹭喝
It's not free I'm gonna pay him back
我这不是蹭 我会还钱的
Shut up
给我停
Sheldon are you gonna join us
谢尔顿 你不来吗
Coming
就来
Greetings friends
你们好 伙计们
Greetings whatever the hell you are
你好 你个天知道是什么的鬼东西
I am a mobile virtual presence device
我是一个移动虚拟化身设备
Recent events
鉴于近来发生的事
have demonstrated to me that my body is too fragile
我意识到我的肉身太过脆弱
to endure the vicissitudes of the world
承受不了大千世界的种种
Until such time as I am able
因此 在我能够
to transfer my consciousness
转移意识之前
I shall remain in a secure location
我的肉身将保存在一个安全地点
and interact with the world in this manner
并借此方式同外界联系
Really That's your question
没搞错吧 你就想问这个--
when did he put a ramp in
他啥时搞来的那个斜坡
You're in my spot
你占了我的专属座位
This may seem a little odd at first
可能一开始感觉会有点怪
but over time you'll grow accustomed
但时间久了 你们就会渐渐习惯
to dealing with me in this configuration
和这样的我打交道
Yeah to be honest I don't see much difference
是咩 说实话 我觉得没什么不同
Thank you
谢谢
That's what I was going for
这也是我的目的
Now Leonard tomorrow when we go to work
那个 莱纳德 明天我们去上班时
you'll need to allow some extra time
你得腾出点时间来
to get me down the stairs
把我搬下楼梯
For your convenience I disassemble into four pieces
为了让你省力 我会分解成四个部分
This is ridiculous
这太荒唐了
I'm coming to talk to you
我要去找你谈谈
You don't know where I am
你不知道我在哪儿
My physical body is safely ensconced
我的肉身现被安置在
in a secure undisclosed location
一个安全保密的场所
You're in your bedroom
你不就在你卧室里么
No I'm not
不 我不在
I can hear your voice coming from your bedroom
我都能听到你说话的声音从卧室传出来
No you can't
不 你听不到
Wait
你给我等着
Come back
回来
Halt
站住
Authorized personnel only
未经授权人员禁止入内
So either one of you weirdos
好吧 你们两个变态
want to buy my underwear Only 1 400 bucks
有谁想买我的内衣么 只要一千四百块哦
Sheldon this is ridiculous
谢尔顿 这太荒唐了
I'm behind you
我在你后面
Please look at me when you're talking to me
和我说话时请看着我
I am looking at you
我正看着你呢
No you're not
不 你没有
Pay no attention to that man in the bed
无视床上的那个人
You cannot exist as a virtual presence
你不能以这种方式存在于这世上
Not here and certainly not at work
这儿不行 工作时就更不行了
Oh good God
我的娘咧
At my age do you know
你知不知道 我这年纪的人
how I'm statistically most likely to die
统计数字上最可能怎么死吗
At the hands of your roommate
被你室友做掉吗
An accident
死于一场意外
That's how I'm going to make it look
我就准备弄成像是一场意外
Until I can transfer my intellect
在我将自己的智慧
to a more durable container
转移到一个更持久的容器内之前
my body will remain safely ensconced in my bed
我的肉身将被安全安置在我的床上
Fine but don't expect my help
随你 但别指望我会帮你
You have to help it's in the roommate agreement
你必须帮我 室友协议里写了
No it's not
不 才没有
Section 74 C
74条C款
The various obligations and duties of the parties
两人间若有人成了机器人
in the event one of them becomes a robot
另一人所应尽的各项义务和责任
I'll be damned
让我一头撞死好了
This is delightful
这种感觉太赞了
Uh huh
哼哼
It's much easier to enjoy
不用担心死于车祸
the picturesque route we travel to work
这样在上班路中欣赏美景
when you remove the specter of fiery vehicular death
就更加怡然自得了
Refresh my memory
提醒我下
Why didn't I just put you in the trunk
我干嘛不直接把你塞进后备箱呢
Because I called shotgun Remember
因为我先抢了前排座位 记得不
Right
好吧
You seem tense
你看着压力很大
Perhaps this will relax you
这样会不会感到放松
I don't want to listen to music Sheldon
我不想听音乐 谢尔顿
Very well
好吧
I don't understand why you're not enjoying this
真不明白你为什么不喜欢这样
Together in this car with my enhanced capabilities
你和增强功能的我 一起在车里
we're like Knight Rider
这就好比霹雳游侠嘛
(同名电视剧 男主角和他的人工智能车)
Except in Knight Rider the car isn't a yammering sphincter
那里面的车可不是括约肌吱吱响的废柴
You mock the sphincter
你居然嘲笑括约肌
but the sphincter is a class of muscle
括约肌可是人体的一组肌肉
without which human beings couldn't survive
没有的话人类没法存活的哦
There are over 50 different sphincters
人体内共有超过50种
in the human body
不同的括约肌
How many can you name
你能叫出多少
I was wrong this is exactly like Knight Rider
我错了 这就是一霹雳游侠 没说的
Perhaps you'd be interested in a different game
你大概会对另一个游戏感兴趣
No
没兴趣
This is a photograph of the 1911
这张照片 是在1911年
Solvay Conference on the theory of radiation and quanta
召开的辐射和量子理论索尔瓦会议
Using Photoshop I've introduced a few anachronisms
我PS了几处不该存在的东西
See if you can spot all 24
看看你能不能找出所有24处
I'll give you the first one
我先给你第一个提示好了
Madame Curie should not be wearing a digital watch
居里夫人不该带着电子表
And go
你继续吧
(益智游戏节目《冒险》的主题曲)
That's it Bye bye
够了 拜拜
Bazinga
吓死你
I have an override switch
我有更高权限的开关
I almost died
我差点被你害死了
And I'm safe and sound in bed
而我仍安然无恙地坐在床上
Who's crazy now
现在再看谁是疯子
I'm still going to go with you
我还是会说你
Hello Professor Hoskins
你好 霍斯金斯教授
Nice to see you Mindy
很高兴见到你 敏迪
And konnichiwa Dr Nakamura
早上好[日语] 中村博士
Sorry the Swedes disproved your theory
很遗憾那帮瑞典佬推翻了你的理论
Leonard my door
莱纳德 我的门
What about it
你的门怎么了
Be a lamb and open it for me
乖 给哥开个门
Why What's the problem
为嘛 有啥问题吗
You think you have me stymied don't you
你以为你难住我了 对吗
No I think a doorknob has you stymied
没有啊 我觉得难住你的是门把手
Oh look it's Leonard and R2 D Bag
哦 看啊 莱纳德和R2-D-Bag[代指《星战》里的R2-D2机器人]
(《星战》里R2-D2机器人 这里D-bag是douchebag[蠢货]的缩写)
That's my joke I told it last night
这笑话是我想出来的 我昨晚给你讲的
You can't just use it
你不能随便剽窃好吧
Raj be a lamb and open the door for me
拉杰 乖 替哥开下门
Oh sure
好的
He's a lamb
他真乖
I'm a lamb
我好乖哦
Isn't this nice
这一切多美好啊
The pleasures of fellowship and camaraderie
在享受同伴感情的同时
without having to tolerate your germy breath on my skin
又不必忍受你们污浊呼吸对我皮肤的伤害
I say we just take him to Tatooine
要我说咱们把他送到塔图因星球上
and sell him to some Jawas
把他卖给爪哇人吧[《星战》情节]
That's two dude
第二次了 老兄
Write your own jokes
写你自己的笑话去
Oh great
哎呦欸
Hi I'm Penny I'll be your waitress
嗨 我叫佩妮 今晚为你们服务
Why are you introducing yourself
你干嘛还要作自我介绍啊
I'd rather people not know
不管怎么样 我宁愿
I have any prior connection to you whatsoever
大家都不知道我跟你们之前有任何联系
Can you tell me the specials this evening
你能介绍一下今晚有什么特色菜吗
Sheldon I'm not waiting on you
谢尔顿 我不为你服务
Obviously
当然了
I don't even have water yet
你还没给我倒水呢
Because you're not here
因为你不在这里
That's discrimination against the otherwise located
你这是对远程遥控人员的歧视
I'm going to have to go over your head
我要去找你的领导[也有比你高的意思]
Manager manager
经理 经理在吗
Oh Lord look who it is
天啊 快看那是谁
Is that Steve Wozniak
那是斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克吗[苹果公司创始人之一]
I think it is
我猜没错
The Great and Powerful Woz
神奇而伟大的沃兹啊
Penny Steve Wozniak was
佩妮 斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克
one of the cofounders of Apple Computer
可是苹果电脑公司的创始人之一呢
He and Steve Jobs started it Yeah
-他和斯蒂夫·乔布斯一起创办了... -没错
I know who he is I watch Dancing with the Stars
我知道他是谁 我看过《与星共舞》
(斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克曾参加过该节目)
I must speak to him
我得去和他聊聊
Of course you must
你当然得去了
You know there's an Olive Garden down the street
这条街上还有家橄榄园[意大利连锁餐馆]
You guys should try it sometime
你们有空应该去尝尝
Excuse me Mr Wozniak
打扰了 沃兹尼亚克先生
Oh hey
Nice virtual presence device
很不错的虚拟化身仪器
Thank you
谢谢夸奖
I just want to say I'm a big fan
我想说我是你的忠实粉丝
You're my 15th favorite technological visionary
你在我最爱的科技远见卓识者排行榜上排第15
Only 15th
才第15啊
It's still six spots above Steve Jobs
那也比斯蒂夫·乔布斯高6名呢
I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship
我既不喜欢高翻衣领 也不喜爱炫舞技的人
Yeah I never got that turtleneck thing
嗯 我从来不穿高翻领的衣服
One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple Two
我最得意的收藏就是一台1977年产的苹果Ⅱ
Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3 3
如果不考虑苹果DOS 3.3版文件系统的局限性
it was a pretty nifty little achievement
它确实算个一流的小成就
Thanks we were shooting for "nifty "
多谢 "一流"这个词让我受宠若惊
You know if you had it here
如果你能把它带过来的话
I'd autograph it for you
我可以在上面签个名
Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes
别走开 等我15到30分钟
depending on how the buses are running
具体情况得看公交车的运营情况
Nerds
书呆子
I'm coming Woz I'm coming
我来了 沃兹 我来了
Penny Penny Penny
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
What up Shel Bot
怎么了 谢童木
I can't get out of bed
我下不了床
I hurt my ankle
脚扭了
What do you want me to do
你想让我干嘛啊
Sing me "Soft Kitty "
给我唱"乖乖猫"吧
Really you want me to sing "Soft Kitty"
你真的想让我对着个电脑显示器唱
to a computer monitor
"乖乖猫"吗
Would you rather come over and sing it to me in person
你想过来当面对我唱吗
Soft kitty warm kitty
乖乖猫 暖暖猫
Little ball of fur
小小毛绒球
Closer to the microphone
离麦克风近点儿
Happy kitty sleepy
快乐猫 瞌睡...
No
打住
You have to start over
从头开始
Soft kitty warm kitty
乖乖猫 暖暖猫
Little ball of fur
小小毛绒球
Happy kitty sleepy kitty
快乐猫 瞌睡猫
Purr purr purr
呜 呜 呜[猫叫声]