生活大爆炸-S11E09_生活大爆炸

S01

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Why are they making four more Avatar movies

他们为什么还要多拍4部《阿凡达》电影啊

It's not like the first one is even that good

第一部都没多好看

What are you talking about You love that movie

听你在胡扯你明明超爱那部电影

You even went as Avatar for Halloween

那年万圣节你还打扮成阿凡达了

I remember That was not a lot of clothes

历历在目啊那衣不蔽体的画面

Hey guys

你们来啦

I'm uh I'm running a special today uh

我... 我今天店里有特殊活动

buy something keep having a comic book store to come to

买任何产品能获得这漫画店不倒闭

This is awkward

这就尴尬了

I was actually gonna return this

我本来打算来退这本漫画呢

What's wrong with it

这漫画哪里出问题了

I I finished it

我看完了

Speaking of something I find interesting

说到我觉得有趣的事

did anyone read that article about Bitcoin I sent you

你们读了我发的比特币的文章了吗

Yeah I can't believe a single Bitcoin

有啊我真没想到一个比特币

is worth about $5 000 now

现在能值五千块美金

Wait didn't we mine some a few years ago

等等我们好几年前不是挖过比特币吗

It was seven years ago

是七年前

Oh yeah I remember that

对啊我记得了

Really All I can remember from seven years ago

真的吗我唯一记得起的七年前事物

is I couldn't get Kesha's "Tik Tok" out of my head

是当时我脑海中不停播放凯沙的歌"滴答"

Tik Tok on the clock Whoa welcome home Kesha

滴答时间不停走欢迎回家凯沙妹子

No we we definitely mined some

我们绝对挖了一些币

I I remember sitting in your bedroom and writing the program

我还记得坐在你房间然后写了程序

I think we ended up with a bunch of it

我们当时好像还挖出了不少呢

Wow and at like $5 000 apiece that's

现在一个币值五千那...

Sounds like a lot of money which we agreed to share

那听起来是一笔巨款啊当时我们说好平分

'cause I I was totally there I remember now

因为当时我绝对在场我刚想起来

I can't believe we forgot about it

真不敢相信我们忘了这事

It's not that surprising

这也不奇怪

They were basically worthless when we got them

我们拿到手的时候根本不值钱

I wish I knew how much we had

真想知道我们有多少币

Sheldon you must remember

谢尔顿你肯定记得

Of course I do

当然啦

Oh yeah he and I totally remember

对啊我跟他绝对都记得

You tell them Sheldon

你跟大家说吧谢尔顿

7年前

I can't believe you haven't seen Avatar yet

真不敢相信你还没去看《阿凡达》

What is wrong with you

你有毛病啊

Penny and I just started dating

我跟佩妮刚开始交往

and you know I don't like big crowds

你也知道我不喜欢人太多的地方

Because you're afraid Penny will leave you for someone in them

因为你怕佩妮会跟人群中的某人跑了吗

Terrified

怕死了

Yes instead of going out

所以他们不像常人出去约会

they just stay home and have constant coitus

而是待在房里不停交媾

Well I didn't want to say it but I I do like to hear it

我不想说出来但听在耳里还挺爽

Yes Ma I'll be home for dinner

会啦妈我会回家吃饭

No I'm not ruining my appetite with candy

我才不会吃糖果然后晚饭吃不下

Oh we're having brisket

今晚有炖牛胸吗

Be home at 6 00

我6点准时到家

Maybe we should double date

或许我们可以四人约会

I'll bring Penny and you can bring your mom

我带佩妮你带老母

Oh make your jokes

随便吐槽

but my date started a savings account for me

但我的伴帮我开了储蓄账户

Did yours

你的伴有吗

Hey you guys Hey

-大家好啊 -好啊

Oh Stuart good I was wondering

斯图尔特太好了我正想问你

will you be accepting Bitcoin

你这里收比特币吗

Well I don't know what that is but it's got "coin" in it

我不知道那是什么但它带有一个"币"字

and my cash register doesn't so yeah

而我的收银机里没有币我收

Wait what's Bitcoin

等等什么是比特币

It's a new online currency that's been developed

是一种新开发出来的线上货币

Uh it's just like actual money

跟真的钱没啥两样

except you can't see it hold it or spend it on anything

只不过你看不到摸不到买不了任何东西

Sounds like the kind of money I'm familiar with

感觉是我很熟悉的一种钱

If it's not tangible how do you know

如果不是有形的货币你怎么能确定

it's not just gonna vanish tomorrow

它不会一夕之间就消失了

Really You're dating Penny and you're gonna poke at something

不是吧你在跟佩妮交往而你居然还想多问

that could vanish tomorrow

有可能明天就消失的事物吗

I'll buy some Bitcoin

我愿意买点比特币

I just came into a little extra money

我最近刚到手一小笔钱

when my dad raised my allowance

我爸给我涨了零花钱

You don't have to buy Bitcoin

比特币不用买

You can mine it

你可以自己挖出来

Mine it Like mining gold

挖就像挖金子吗

Sort of There's a limited amount

类似吧比特币的总数是有限的

and we find it not by tunneling into the earth

我们想获得不是往地心挖坑

but by using a computer to solve complex mathematical problems

而是用电脑运算复杂的数学问题来获得

So let me get this straight

让我理理

We have to write an elaborate program

所以我们得精心写个程序

in order to find a fake coin that we can't spend on anything

来挖出我们花不了的假货币吗

Yes ‭That sounds fun

-是的 -听起来真"有趣"啊

Yeah I'm in

我加入

Staying up late writing code it sounds like a party

一起熬夜写代码感觉像个派对啊

Hey Stuart

斯图尔特

You want to mine some Bitcoin with us

你想跟我们一起挖比特币吗

We'll write the program you bring the snacks

我们写程序你带零食

Too rich for my blood

太高档穷人玩不起

All right so just the four of us

好吧那就我们四个人挖

Before we begin

在我们开挖前

this may have some unprecedented tax implications

先说好这可能会造成史无前例的税务问题

In fact we should start early 'cause

其实我们最好快点开始

we are gonna be on the phone with the IRS for hours

到时候国税局可能会打电话跟我们谈很久呢

Did anybody else just get goose bumps

有人也兴奋到起鸡皮疙瘩了吗

Great so just the three of us

很好就我们三个挖吧

Oh yeah We did it without you

想起来了我们没带你

今时今日

And do you remember what happened next

你还记得后来发生什么事了吗

Your mom called my mom and said we were being mean

你妈打给我妈说我们欺负你

And after that

在那之后呢

You said that someday we'd regret this

你说有一天我们会后悔

And do you know what today is

那你知道今天是什么日子吗

The day we found out we're rich and none of it is yours

我们发现自己发财了而你屁都没的日子吗

Yeah that's right Up top

对啊击个掌

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

宇宙一度又烫又稠密

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait

140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool

地球开始降温

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

自养生物来起哄穴居人发明工具

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

我们建长城我们建金字塔

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

数学自然科学历史揭开神秘

That all started with a big bang

一切由大爆炸开始

Bang

By aBu 20171202

大

爆

炸

第十一季第九集

生

活

今时今日

Okay this is the laptop i was using in 2010

这是我2010年时用的笔记本电脑

The Bitcoin must be on here

比特币肯定就在这里面

So what are you gonna do with your share of the money

你拿到钱之后打算怎么处理

Uh well as a responsible adult

身为一个有责任心的大人

I'll put that money into a CD wait for that CD to mature

我会把钱拿去做定存等定存到期了

and then buy a tiger

就拿去买只老虎

How about you

那你呢

Oh that depends on whether I tell Bernadette or not

得看我告不告诉伯纳黛特了

Howard I can hear you The baby monitor is on

霍华德我能听见你说话宝宝监控器开着呢

I know I was joking I'm gonna put it in a college fund

我知道我说笑呢我会为孩子存起来

All right all booted up

好啦开好机啦

Wow I I knew you were single back then

我知道你当年是单身狗

but that is a lot of porn

但这也太多黄片了吧

Science A lot of science

科学是好多科学

Wow you were really into Asian science

那你非常喜欢"亚洲的科学"啊

I don't see the Bitcoin on here

电脑里没看到比特币啊

Hey maybe it's in that folder marked

或许是在那个叫

"Private and Confidential "

"私人机密档案"资料夹里

It's not

不在那里面

7年前

Okay the program is almost ready to run

准备好执行挖矿程序了

Mining for coins sounds so manly

挖金币听起来好爷们啊

Ooh we should sing a mining song

或许我们该唱首挖矿歌

Do you know a mining song

你会任何挖矿歌吗

I don't know

不知道了

Does "Tik Tok" by Kesha count

凯沙的"滴答"算吗

Because it has tunneled its way into my heart

这首歌挖洞钻进了我的心房

Howard what's going on

霍华德你们在干嘛呢

Are you boys roughhousing

你们在大乱斗吗

No we're not roughhousing

不我们没在大乱斗

We're scientists Scientists don't roughhouse

我们是科学家科学家不会大乱斗

Excuse me Mr Grown up

抱歉打扰了大人先生

Aw man what happened

怎么回事

It crashed

死机了

It's been doing that lately

最近常常这样

I think it's got a virus from all the

应该是中毒了因为我...

music I've been downloading

下载了很多"音乐"

What kind of music

什么类型的音乐

Mostly Asian

大部分是亚洲的

Some oldies

还有些老的

Well we can use my laptop

可以用我的电脑

Howard I made cookies for you and your little friends

霍华德我给你和小伙伴们做了曲奇

They're not my little friends and we don't want cookies

他们不是我的小伙伴我们也不要吃曲奇

Actually a cookie sounds good

其实我还挺想吃曲奇的

All right we'll have cookies

好吧我们要吃曲奇

Thank you very much

谢谢你了

That's right It must be on my old laptop

对了肯定是在我的旧电脑里

今时今日

Well let's go

快走吧

Hey Bernie you mind if I run to Leonard's and

妮妮我能不能去一下莱纳德家

Get a laptop full of money

取一台装满钱的电脑吗

Why are you still here Go go go

还傻坐着干什么快去啊

So how's the wedding planning going

婚礼计划得怎么样啦

Great

很好

Although we're having trouble agreeing on a location

不过举办地点我俩还没商量好

I thought you were looking at a cliff on the beach

你们之前不是在找海滩边上的悬崖吗

We were but Sheldon didn't like any of them

是啦但谢尔顿一个都不喜欢

Some were too beachy some were too cliffy

有些太海滩有些太悬崖

And all of them were too outsidey

而且所有地点都太室外了

Well weddings aren't about the location

婚礼的重点不在于地点

They're about standing up in front of your family and friends

最重要的是站在你们亲友面前

and promising that Sheldon will never move back in here

发誓谢尔顿永远不会搬回这里

好啊

What are you guys doing

你们几个干嘛呢

Uh we have a bunch of Bitcoin on an old laptop

我们有台旧电脑里有些比特币

and it could be worth like a lot of money

也许能值很多钱

What You're kidding

什么你逗我呢吧

No We we could be sitting on a fortune

没有我们可能坐在金山上

Okay let the record show I did not marry you for money

我要先声明我当初嫁给你不是为了钱

but you just got way more attractive

但你忽然变得有魅力多了

Damn it it's not in here

我靠不在这里头

If only you had someone around with an eidetic memory

要是你们当时有个过目不忘的朋友在场就好了

I bet they would know what happened to it

我猜他肯定记得电脑哪去了

If you know just tell us

你如果知道就快告诉我们

Excuse me but if I recall from seven years ago

不好意思但如果我没记错七年前的事

you don't want me to be a part of this

你们不想要我参与这件事

Sheldon you can't still be mad

谢尔顿你不会还在生气吧

Oh please

拜托

I have grudges that go back to preschool

我幼儿园时期的仇都还记着呢

Someday I'm gonna find a grown up Elaine Dwyer

总有一天我要找到长大的伊莱恩·德怀尔

and eat her favorite crayon while she watches

在她面前吃掉她最爱的蜡笔

Is that why there's an Elaine Dwyer on our guest list

所以我们宴请名单上才有个伊莱恩·德怀特吗

Yes

没错

That night I'm going to have the first dance

到那晚我便能拥有第一支舞

and the last laugh

和最后胜利者的一笑

Sheldon please

谢尔顿拜托了

Should I be the bigger man

我该大人有大量吗

I think you should

我觉得应该

Oh why'd I ask you

我脑子抽了才会问你

7年前

Hey there pretty lady

好啊美人

I'm not waiting on your table for you

我不会帮你服务你的客人

Come on this one is so annoying

拜托啦这个客人真的很讨厌

Excuse me waitress

不好意思服务员

You guys ready to order

二位要点餐了吗

Can you take our picture please

能帮我们拍张照吗

Oh sure

没问题

Smile

笑一下

Perfect

简直完美

Thank you You may go now

谢谢你可以退下了

It was nice to meet you

很高兴认识你

and I mean that politely not sincerely

我这是客套话不是真心的

What was that

刚刚是怎么回事

I need to prove to my mother that I'm on a date

我需要证明给我妈看我正在约会

If she thinks I faked the picture

如果她觉得照片是我伪造的

I might need you as a witness What's your name

我可能需要你当人证你叫什么名字

Bernadette

伯纳黛特

Hey sweetie

亲爱的

Everybody good

都吃得开心吗

Yeah

嗯

‭ Fine ‭ Sure

-挺好 -开心

You don't have to whisper you can just nod your head

你不用说悄悄话点个头就行了

Or you could just speak

或者直接说也行

You having a good day

你今天顺利吗

No I missed an audition

不好我错过了试镜

because my computer broke and I didn't get the e mail

因为我电脑坏了没收到通知邮件

Would've been a perfect part for me

本来是个超适合我的角色

Was it waitress who ignores her customers

是演一个无视客人的服务员吗

Because that's the role you were born to play

你天生就是演这个的料

Shut up and eat your burger

闭嘴吃你的汉堡

Actually it's a turkey club

其实是火鸡三明治

Didn't you order a burger

你点的不是汉堡吗

I did and yet here we are

是的但天不从人愿

You know what if you need a computer

你如果要用电脑

you can use my laptop

可以用我的

Oh that's sweet but I'm not gonna take your computer

你真贴心但我不会拿你的电脑的

Oh it's fine I I'm getting a new one anyway

没事反正我也要买新的了

Are you sure Don't be silly

-你确定吗 -别傻了

He's desperate to hold on to you

他拼了命想抓紧你

You can get anything out of him

你想从他那拿走什么都行

His car his watch

他的车他的表

Maybe a kidney You already have his testicles

拿个肾估计也没问题你已经得到他的蛋蛋了

You can start a collection

可以集齐一整套

Oh my God that's right You gave me your laptop

天啊是这样没错你把电脑给我了

今时今日

That was so sweet

你太好了

So you know where it is Of course

-这么说你知道在哪了 -当然啦

All right Yes ‭Great

-好耶 -棒 -太好了

I gave it to my ex boyfriend Zack

我给我前男友扎克了

Come on ‭No

-不是吧 -不要啊

今时今日

Okay Zack thank you so much

好的扎克谢谢你

We'll be right over

我们这就过去

He still has it

电脑还在他那

I can't believe you took a gift from me

真不敢相信你把我送你的礼物

and gave it to another man

转送给其他男人了

Really

不是吧

Of all the things she's given to other men

她给其他男人送过那么多"甜头"

that's what you're concerned about

你却只在意这个吗

Please don't make a big deal about this

不要小题大做了

It was a long time ago we were broken up

那是很久之前的事了我们当时分手了

Which breakup was that

是哪一次分手

Was that the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre

是"情人节大屠杀"吗

No no

不不是

This might've been during the Comic Con Dump A Thon

可能是"漫展大怒甩"期间

You have names for our breakups

你们还给我们每次分手取名了吗

Well they would really blur together if we didn't

如果不这样可能会分不清

The Comic Con breakup's easy to remember

漫展那次分手很容易记住

because Leonard was the saddest Pikachu

因为莱纳德扮的是最难过的皮卡丘

Right and he wiped his nose on your cape

没错然后他用你的披风擤鼻涕

and then you were the saddest Darth Vader

你就变成最悲催的黑武士了

You know Penny and I aren't the only ones who've broken up

话说不是只有我和佩妮分过手

So did Howard and Bernadette

霍华德和伯纳黛特也分过

Uh not to brag but all my breakups have lasted

不是要炫耀啦但我每次分手都一分到底了

7年前

I'm so sorry to hear about you and Howard

你和霍华德分手了我很遗憾

Thanks I just didn't think he was

谢了我真是看不出来

the kind of guy who would be doing weird stuff online

他是那种在网上乱来的人

Really Wow I thought it was so obvious but okay

真的吗我觉得特别明显呀不过行吧

Look I know it's hard but I think the best thing

我知道分手很难熬但我觉得

to do after a breakup is to take some time

分手后最该做的就是沉淀一下

and be by yourself

好好享受单身时光

Yeah that's healthy

这才是健康的

Hey babe ready to go

宝贝儿可以走了吗

Do as I say not as I do

学我说的话别学做的事

今时今日

I cannot believe you're mad

我真不敢相信你会生气

I'm not mad

我没有生气

Oh really Tell that to your eyebrows

真的吗对你的眉毛说去

Bet I could place a quarter between them

我在中间放一个硬币

and it would just stay there

都能停得稳稳的

Fine I'm mad

好吧我生气了

I guess I was more upset by our breakup than you

我只是觉得我比你对分手更感到难过

That is not true Of course I was upset

才怪我当然也很难过

Didn't seem like it

看起来不像呀

You started dating the first

你立刻就跟你找到的第一个

tall handsome hunk you could find

又高又帅的肌肉男搞上了

I'm sorry

不好意思

are you mad that I dated Zack or that you didn't

你生气是因为我上了扎克还是因为你没上到他

Hi Hey Zack

-嗨 -你好扎克

So good to see you guys

真高兴见到你们

Man we should do this more often

我们应该多这样来几次

Come over to get laptops back from you

不停地回来找你要笔记本电脑吗

Totally

对啊

So do you have it

你还留着那电脑吗

Of course I do Penny gave it to me as a gift

当然啦那是佩妮送给我的礼物

You don't get rid of something like that

这么重要的礼物怎么能乱丢呢

All right I'm sorry I gave away your stupid laptop

抱歉我把你那台蠢电脑送掉了

You should be We were broken up for like five minutes

你道歉是应该的我们当时也才刚分手

Are you guys fighting

你俩在吵架吗

Yeah ‭ No

-对 -没有

Are you fighting about whether or not you're fighting

你们在为是否在吵架这件事而吵吗

'Cause I've had that fight before

我也跟人吵过这个架

Turns out we were and I lost

最后发现我们真的在吵架而我输了

Leonard thinks when we broke up it didn't bother me

莱纳德觉得我和他分手时一点都不难过

That's crazy

怎么可能

When we were going out she used to talk about you all the time

我和她交往时她不停地在说你的事

In fact I think she only dated me

老实说我觉得她和我约会

because I reminded her of you

仅仅是因为我让她想起了你

Sure

好吧

Because we're both

因为我俩都...

people

是人吗

Damn right we are

说对啦

Oh also there was that video about how much she missed you

对了里面还有一段讲述她如何思念你的视频

What video ‭ The one on the laptop

-什么视频 -电脑上的那个

I didn't mean to invade your privacy but I am a huge snoop

我没想窥探你的隐私但我就是爱管闲事

Ask my neighbor She'll tell you

不信问我的邻居她会告诉你

But not right now she's in the shower

但别现在去问她正在洗澡呢

7年前

Hello Leonard

你好莱纳德

I was gonna write you an e mail but I'm a little drunk

我本打算给你写封邮件但是我喝得有点高

and spelling is a sober person's game so

而拼写这件事适合清醒的人去做所以...

I feel I owe you a 'splanation

我感觉我欠你一个"姐释"

I I'm sorry

对不起

A 'splanation

一个"姐释"

Penny Penny

佩妮佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Sheldon go away I'm making a video

谢尔顿走开我在拍影片呢

Oh I'm sorry I'll come back when you're alone

抱歉等你一个人方便的时候我再过来

No no no I am alone

不不是的我一个人在家

I'm just telling Leonard why I broke up with him

我在向莱纳德解释我为什么和他分手

Oh he knows

他清楚得很

The video I want to see

我倒是想看看

is why you went out with him in the first place

解释你为什么和他交往的视频

I went out with him because he's great

我和他交往是因为他这人很棒

And if I kept going out with him

如果我们继续这样下去

I probably would've married him

我大概就会和他结婚了

and that's a little scary

这让我有点害怕

because I just don't think I'm ready for that

因为我还没有做好结婚的准备

You know plus I have got to learn how to spell Hofstadter

再说我真得学学如何拼写霍夫斯塔特

I I know there's a "D" in there

我知道里面有"塔"字

but it keeps moving every time I try and write it

但每次一写它就跳来跳去

Sheldon what do I do

谢尔顿我该怎么做

Try to pass out facedown so you don't choke on your vomit

昏睡过去时记得面朝下以免被呕吐物呛死

I am not gonna pass out

我才不会昏睡过去

But thank you anyway

但还是要谢谢你

Wow ‭ I know

-哇 -对啊

There's like two more hours of her just lying there

她后面还这么趴了两个多小时

Aw you love me so much

原来你这么爱我

I married you jackass

我都和你结婚了好吗猪头

I I know and not just out of pity

我知道而且不是因为同情我

like everyone said in their wedding toast

其他人在婚礼祝福里都说错了

You want to see the part where she falls off the chair

你们想看她最后摔下椅子的画面吗

No ‭ Totally

-不想 -想看

That's my wife

这才是我老婆

I got to see that again

我得再倒回去看一遍

Got the laptop Hand it here

-拿到电脑了 -快拿过来

Oh this is so exciting

我的小心脏好紧张

Hey when we sell the Bitcoin are you gonna pay your dad back

等我们卖掉比特币你会把这些年来

all the money you took from him over the years

剥削你爹的钱财都还给他吗

Never even crossed my mind

想都没想过

Okay here's the Bitcoin folder

找到比特币文件夹了

Yeah how much is in there

里面有多少钱

It's empty

里面是空的

What Th That's impossible

什么怎么可能

Do you think Zack stole it

难道是扎克偷了吗

No he doesn't know how to steal Bitcoin

他才不懂怎么偷比特币

I mean he waves at trucks

他把货车当成出租车招手叫停

Hmm who could it have been

那会是谁干的呢

Sheldon what did you do

谢尔顿你做了什么

I plotted my revenge

我策划了我的报仇大计

If you get a dish I'll serve you some cold

如果你有盘子我就为你呈上一盘复仇

What y you stole our Bitcoin

你偷了我们的比特币吗

Oh calm down

冷静

All I did was sneak onto your computer

我只是偷偷登录了你的电脑

and download your Bitcoin onto a flash drive

把你们的比特币下载到U盘上了

What

什么

I'm not keeping it

我没有占为己有

I just wanted to watch you sweat

我只是想看你着急到满头大汗

If you want to watch him sweat

你要想看他出汗

walk up a flight of stairs with him

只需要和他爬一层楼梯就行了

I've waited seven long years but it finally happened

我等待了7年之久终于等到了

Where's our money

我们的钱在哪里

That's the best part

这才是最妙的部分

It's on the Batman flash drive on your key chain

其实就在你钥匙串上的蝙蝠侠U盘里

You've had it in your pocket all along

一直都在你的口袋里呢

Sheldon

谢尔顿

I lost that key chain years ago

我的钥匙串早就丢了

Really

真的吗

D D Did you look under things

你你有没有到处翻翻找找

Well that is unfortunate

真是太不幸了

I guess we've all learned a lesson today

我想我们今天都学到了一课

What was the lesson

我们学到了什么呀

I don't know

我也不知道

4年前

Huh What's that

那是什么

Ooh Batman flash drive

蝙蝠侠的U盘呢

Pretty cool

真不错

Huh if I erase this

如果我把它格式化

I could probably resell it for like ten bucks

还可以卖个10块钱呢

Things are finally going my way

小康生活在向我招手啦