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Okay now holding sides of hearth in position
抓住壁炉两侧 固定好位置
lower mantelpiece assembly onto top tabs
将壁炉台组合至壁炉上方
Look at that I built a fireplace with my own two hands
你看 我靠着自己这双手造了个壁炉呢
You're so butch
你好龙精虎猛哦
Aw I got a little paper cut
哎哟 被纸割伤手了
Of course you did
完全不意外
Your hands are softer than veal
你的芊芊玉手比小牛肉还嫩呢
Oh before I forget Saturday I'm planning a little
趁我没忘 提醒你一下 这周六
桌上角色扮演游戏
Dungeons and Dragons night with the guys
我约了大家玩《龙与地下城》哦
Really That's how you're gonna spend your Saturday night
真的吗 周六晚你就打算这么庆祝啊
Oh come on I hardly ever get a chance to play anymore
别这样 我几乎都没什么机会玩了
Oh you poor thing
你个可怜的娃
Is having a real life girlfriend who has sex with you
有个真实存在还能滚床单的女朋友
getting in the way of your board games
碍着你跟你心爱的小桌游嬉戏了吗
Little bit yeah
是有一点啦
Oh great I've always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons
好耶 我一直都想玩玩看《龙与地下城》呢
Yeah oh I'm sorry
抱歉 是我不好
I should've mentioned this earlier
我应该先说在前头
You're not invited
你未被邀请
Why not
为什么没有啊
Amy from time to time
艾米 每隔一段时间
we men need to break free from the shackles of civility
我们男人都需要挣脱文明礼仪的束缚
and get in touch with our primal animalistic selves
并回归原始野性的自我
By rolling dice
就掷掷骰子
and playing make believe with little figurines
然后用小人偶玩幻想游戏也算啊
Yeah like a bunch of savages
是啊 又野蛮又粗暴啊
Saturday night
周六晚啊
But I've been working late all week
我这周天天都加班
That was gonna be our night
还想着那晚能是二人时光呢
But I have to go
我不去不行啊
We play as a group
我们大家要一起玩啊
If if I'm not there then everyone will blame you
要是我去不成 其他人会说你坏话的
They'll be all "Bernadette ruined everything
他们就会说 "伯纳黛特超扫兴
She's the worst "
她个臭八婆"
So you see
你理解吗
I have to play Dungeons and Dragons
我不能不去玩《龙与地下城》啊
for the marriage
是为我们婚姻着想
You're an idiot
你个死白痴
I'm your idiot
是你的小白痴
Forever
死都甩不掉哦
So listen I know we talked about
听我说 我们之前的确是说了
getting a bite to eat in Silver Lake
要去银湖吃吃东西
and then seeing the Christmas lights in Griffith Park
然后去格里菲斯公园看看圣诞灯饰
but Leonard's talking about a big D and D game at his place
可莱纳德找我们去他家玩《龙与地下城》呢
Saturday night just went from crazy to epic
周六夜要从嗨翻升级成史诗级啦
第六季 第十一集
生活大爆炸
All right Sheldon to start our quest
谢尔顿 要想开始征途
you need to open this little Christmas gift I got you
你必须先打开我送你的这圣诞礼物
A Christmas gift
圣诞礼物啊
You know I don't enjoy Christmas
你明知道我不爱圣诞节
What's wrong with Christmas
圣诞节有什么不好啊
Oh where to begin
太多缺点 不知从何开始
Trees indoors
室内摆树
Overuse of the words "'tis" and "'twas "
猛拽古文 例如"此乃"圣诞佳节
And the absurd custom of one stocking
还有这荒谬的单脚袜习俗
Everyone knows socks belong in pairs
是人都知道 袜子就该成双成对
Who uses one sock
谁会要单脚袜啊
Pirate with a peg leg
一只脚是木制假腿的海盗吧
Actually that helps thank you
有用处我就舒服多了 谢啦
Would you just look inside
就赶紧看里面有啥嘛
Oh a scroll
是个卷轴
I like scrolls
我最爱卷轴了
They're my third favorite system of
卷轴是我第三喜爱的
transmitting the written word
文字传输方式
After stone tablets and skywriting
仅在石碑与飞机空中文字之后
"You have all been summoned to join
"在座各位皆是被召唤来参与
a thrilling Dungeons and Dragons adventure
紧张刺激的《龙与地下城》冒险的人选
Your quest begins in
你们踏上征途的起因
a secret northern village of elves
是由于一个神秘的北方小精灵村庄
who have all been massacred "
被人血洗屠村"
I like where this is heading
这故事走向我喜欢
"Your task is to rescue their leader
"你们的任务是要营救
from a dungeon of ogres "
被困于食人魔地下城的村长"
Oh that's a saucy twist
好妙的故事转折啊
"That leader's name
"而村长的名字是...
Santa Claus""
圣诞老人"
No no no
不 不 不啊
It's actually "Ho ho ho "
圣诞老人是"呵 呵 呵"的笑
but you'll get the hang of it
你再多练练就会了
Thought it'd be fun to make
我觉得把节日混合入任务里
a quest with a holiday theme
会很有意思嘛
Fun
有意思吗
Mixing Dungeons and Dragons with Christmas is
把《龙与地下城》跟圣诞节混合起来
like making a sandwich of grape jelly
就像是做三明治 把最好吃的果冻
the best tasting jelly
葡萄果冻
and petroleum jelly the worst tasting jelly
跟最难吃的果冻 石化制果冻混一起
石化制胶状物 直译石化制果冻 也就是凡士林]
Okay here we go
好了 开始啦
"You find yourselves
"你们发现自己
in the smoking remains of Santa's village
身处于圣诞村烟雾弥漫的废墟之中
Clearly a great battle has taken place "
显然 此地刚发生过一场大战"
Oh man the first monster I see
好兴奋啊 第一个怪物露头
I'm gonna sneak up behind him whip out my wand
我要潜到他背后 掏出我的小魔棒
and shoot my magic all over his ass
用我的魔法射满他菊花
Do you hear yourself when you say these things
你说出这些话时 自己有听到吗
Okay there are ogre tracks and a trail of
在雪地上发现了食人魔足印
broken candy canes in the snow
还有用拐杖糖碎块留下的路线线索
Sheldon what do you do
谢尔顿 你采取什么行动
I signal my contempt for your cruel plan
我选择这你残酷 没人性
to shove Christmas joy down my throat
硬逼我庆祝圣诞节计划
by making a gesture that says "get a load of this guy "
以"你们瞧这二货"的言语来加以鄙视
Fine Howard what do you do
行 霍华德 你采取什么行动
I follow the ogre tracks
我选择跟随食人魔足印
checking for secret doors along the way
并在跟踪时 检查路上有无暗门密道
And you discover a secret door leading to a dark corridor
你发现了一个门后是阴暗走廊的暗门
Okay guys let's make a plan
兄弟们 先布置好计划
spell casters in the back warriors in the front
战士走前排 法师站后排
No screw that noise I'm going in
少废话 老子要杀进去了
Hang on Santa I'm coming for you
圣诞老人 撑着点 我来救你了
Okay you run into a room full of weapons
你跑进了一件兵器房里
hit a trip wire
触发了陷阱
a cannon blows your face off you die you're out of the game
一门大炮炸飞了你的头 角色死亡 你出局了
But a canon
等等 一门大炮啊
Am I really out of the game
我真的出局了吗
Lucky
你真幸运
Okay come on moving on
好了 游戏继续进行
Wait doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection
等等 你们身上都没有复活之棒吗
Because if you've got one I need it bad
你们谁有 我急需这跟小棒棒啊
Get in here with your rod and give it to me
赶紧掏出你的棒棒 给人家来一棒嘛
Okay you need to say these things
好吧 你说话之前
in your head before you say them out loud
得把原话在脑子里好好过一遍
Hey guys
伙计们
I don't mean to interrupt your little game
我不是故意打断你们的小游戏
but I thought you'd like to see what you're missing out on
但我觉得你们会想知道 自己都错过了啥
So
那么...
Bernadette
伯纳黛特
Bernadette's wearing leopard print pumps
伯纳黛特脚踩豹纹高跟鞋
and a rack tastic red dress from Forever 21
身穿爆乳红裙 均购自"永远21"
And there's Amy
接下来是艾米
showing all kinds of ankle
与她的露"脚踝"装
In an outfit I'm assuming is from Forever 63
身上那件衣服 我估计是购自"永远63"吧
And I myself
而我自己呢...
am wearing a little number that got me
穿着一条小码紧身裙 我可是靠它
out of two speeding tickets and jury duty
免了两张超速罚单和陪审员的义务
I know they're making a rhetorical point
我知道她们是用夸张手法来表达某事
I just don't know what it is
可我真看不出是说什么事
See you boys We are going drinking
再见 伙计们 我们要去喝酒啦
Uh wait can I come with you
等等 我能跟你们一起去吗
My character died
我玩的角色死了
Sorry Raj it's girls' night out
抱歉 拉杰 今晚是闺蜜之夜
Maybe another time
或许下次吧
Okay
好吧
Come on
走吧
Girls' night girls' night
闺蜜之夜 闺蜜之夜
How does he not hear that
他怎么会听不到自己说这种话呢
So what's the plan
有什么大计
Are we gonna teach our fellas a lesson
我们要不要给各自的男友一点教训
by getting stinking drunk
喝个酩酊大醉
luring strange men into the bathroom
勾引陌生男人到厕所
and turning the toilet stall into a temple of the senses
把厕所隔间变成性爱感官神殿
No No
-不要 -当然不
Geez who's Forever 63 now
天啊 现在谁才是"永远63"啊
Can we get another bottle of champagne for the table
能给我们桌再来一瓶香槟吗
Don't worry
别担心
It's my treat
我请客
Thanks
谢谢
You should come to girls' night more often
你应该多来参加我们的闺蜜之夜
And not just because if you weren't here
绝不是因为如果你不在
this would be a can of Pabst
我们就要从喝香槟沦落为喝啤酒哦
My pleasure nothing makes me happier
这是我的荣幸 能有机会宠溺女人
than the chance to spoil a lady
比任何事都让我开心
Just ask my dog
不信问问我的狗
My vet says if I give her any more foie gras
兽医说如果我再喂她鹅肝酱
she's going to die of gout
她就要死于痛风了
常吃动物类内脏会导致尿酸高 从而引起痛风
Hey let's help Raj meet a girl tonight
我们今晚帮拉杰找个姑娘吧
No no no I'm fine
别了别了 我无所谓
Okay wait are we talking one night stand
慢着 我们说的是找个姑娘搞一夜情
or do we want to get him into a relationship
还是找个姑娘谈恋爱呀
Let's get him laid
找个姑娘把床上
Stop it You're ruining girls' night
别这样 闺蜜之夜 主角是闺蜜
Raj you're a great guy
拉杰 你是个好男人
you're in a bar full of single women let us help you
而且这酒吧全是单身女人 让我们帮你吧
Yeah you're a real catch
对啊 你真的是个好对象
I know you're shy but that doesn't mean
我知道你害羞 但这并不意味着
you shouldn't have someone wonderful in your life
你生命中不应拥有一位佳人
That's sweet of you
你们真好心
But what can you do to help
但你们能怎么帮我呢
We'll nose around
我们四周打探一下
see if we can find a nice girl and then introduce you
看看能不能找到一个不错的姑娘 然后介绍你认识
Okay
好吧
Well a couple of things
有几点要注意
Don't tell them I come from money
别告诉她们我出身富庶
I want them to love me for me
我要她们爱我 而不是爱我的钱
They must be insanely hot
她们一定要超级性感
Like nines or tens
身材样貌起码得有9分或10分
Nines or tens
9分或10分吗
Okay an eight is acceptable
好吧 8分也可以接受
if she's willing to bring another eight to the hot tub
前提是她会带另外一个8分女来跟我三人泡澡
Bottom line you'll take any woman who'll have you right
反正 我们找着啥样的你都会要 对吧
In a New Delhi minute
果断会要
I don't remember you buying these miniatures in my store
我不记得你在我店里买过这些小模型啊
Oh uh yeah
是没买过
I got 'em on Amazon
这是在亚马逊上买的
Sure I get it
当然 我懂的
Why support a friend
与其扶持一个朋友
when you can support a multinational conglomerate
为何不去扶持一家把你朋友的生活
that is crushing the life out of that friend
挤压得穷苦潦倒的跨国大企业呢
I know but when I shop online
我知道 但当我上网购物时
I can do it on the toilet
我可以边上厕所边买
Have you seen my store
你见过我的店吗
The whole place is a toilet
那个地方跟厕所没两样
C Can we please move this along
能继续进行游戏了吗
Yeah sorry
可以 抱歉
Uh you come to the end of the tunnel
你们走到了的尽头
and find a large chest
发现了一个大宝箱[大胸]
What do you do
你将采取什么行动
And Howard do not say
对了 霍华德 拜托不要说
"I feel up the large chest "
"我要上去抓一把"
Excuse me I'm a married man now
不好意思 我现在可是已婚男人
I wasn't going to say anything so juvenile
我才不会说这么幼稚的话呢
Great What do you do
很好 那你会怎么做
I walk up to the large chest
我会走到那个大胸[大宝箱]前
bury my face in it and go
把我的脸埋进去 然后这样玩
I open the chest It's locked
-我选择打开宝箱 -锁着呢
but suddenly the door behind you slams shut
但你身后的门突然砰一声关上
and now the walls of the room start closing in
现在房间两侧的墙壁开始往中间逼近
That's not good
这下惨了
My character and I both have claustrophobia
我和我的角色都有幽闭恐惧症
Glowing letters appear on the chest that read
宝箱上出现发光的字 上面写着
"If squashed to death you wish not to be
"如果你不想被夹死
sing of Svaty Vaclav and his victory "
那就高歌圣威特·瓦茨拉夫和他的胜利"
Who the hell is Svaty Vaclav Walls are getting closer
-谁是圣威特·瓦茨拉夫 -墙越来越近了
Oh boy happy place happy place
我得赶紧想着开心的地方
通常有病的人要靠想着开心的地方转移注意力
Wait Svaty Vaclav was the Duke of Bohemia
等等 圣威特·瓦茨拉夫是波西米亚的君主
You're ten seconds away from getting crushed
你还有十秒钟就要被夹成肉酱了
Nine eight
九 八...
What are we supposed to do
我们该怎么办
seven six Wait wait
-七 六 -等下 等下
Svaty Vaclav is better known as Good King Wenceslas
圣威特·瓦茨拉夫就是受人喜爱的
from the beloved Victorian Christmas carol
维多利亚时代圣诞颂歌里的仁君温瑟拉
Never heard of it
从来没听说过
Must be the one Christmas song not written by a Jewish guy
肯定就那首圣诞颂歌不是犹太人写的
three two
三 二...
Somebody sing the damn song
快唱那首该死的颂歌
Good King Wenceslas looked out
是日圣徒节
On the feast of Stephen
贤君帘外望
When the snow lay 'round about
积雪覆大地
Deep and crisp and even
松脆且平旷
The walls are getting slower
墙越来越近啦
Brightly shone the moon that night
是夜月皎皎
Though the frost was cru el
寒霜亦凄凄
When a poor man came in sight
但见褴褛者
Gath'ring winter fu el
拾薪不停息
The walls stop You're safe
墙壁停下了 你们安全了
That was amazing Sheldon
你可真牛 谢尔顿
How did you know that It was simple
-你怎么会唱这个 -很简单
I combined a well known historical fact
我将一个关于波西米亚的知名历史事件
about Bohemia with the memory of my grandparents
与我对外祖父母的记忆结合在一起
Mee Maw and Pop Pop singing Christmas carols
那时候外公和外婆 唱着圣诞颂歌
while I sat in front of the fire and tried to build
而我在壁炉前尝试用乐高来制造
a high energy particle accelerator out of Legos
一个高能粒子加速器
Okay continuing our quest
继续我们的任务吧
W W Wait
等一下
There's still four more verses
还有四段没唱呢
You don't sing a song and not finish it
总不能唱个开头没结尾吧
Hither page and stand by me
嗟尔侍者来
If thou know'st it telling
务必据实语
Yonder peasant who is he
彼处何许人
Where and what his dwelling
此人何所居
Brightly shone the moon that night though the frost
是夜月皎皎 寒霜亦凄...
It Looks like he's doing pretty good
看来他进展不错啊
Of course he is
那是当然了
Look that girl just got dumped by her boyfriend
那姑娘刚被男朋友甩了
She's angry she's drunk
满心愤怒 又醉得烂醉
and her favorite movie is Slumdog Millionaire I mean
最爱的电影还是印度电影《贫民窟的百万富翁》
That is some low hanging fruit
必须手到擒来啊
Oh here he comes
他回来了
So how'd it go Great
-怎么样啊 -一切顺利
I bought her a couple of drinks
我请她喝了几杯酒
and she gave me her E mail address
她就把邮箱地址给我了
"Jennifer@not even if you were the last guy on earth loser""
杰妮芙@就算男人死光了只剩你都不要.废柴
What
什么
I'm sorry Raj
真遗憾 拉杰
Why can't I find someone
我怎么就找不到我的佳人呢
I'm smart I've got a cool job
我智商高 工作好
and my naturally bronzed complexion means
天生古铜的肤色说明
I can pull off mustard yellow in a way most guys can't
别人穿了难看的芥末黄 我也能穿得帅气
Oh honey it's not you it's them
亲爱的 不怪你 是她们脑子有病
No it's not
不是的
She was too beautiful for me
她太漂亮了 我高攀不上
Why would you say that It's true
-你怎么会说这种话 -是真的
I'm always attracted to women I can't have
我总是迷恋自己得不到的姑娘
I do it all the time
我老是这样
I did the same thing with the two of you
我以前对你们两个就是啊
The two of them
她们两个
I don't understand
我不太明白
Well uh there was a time when I had a thing for Penny
曾经有段时间我暗恋过佩妮
and I thought she was into me too
而且当时我以为她也喜欢我
because she got drunk and naked
因为有一次她喝醉后脱光
and climbed into bed with me
跟我爬上了床
But apparently I misread those signals
但很显然是我自作多情了
And you liked Bernadette also
你也喜欢过伯纳黛特啊
That was before Penny
那是在佩妮之前
I make it a rule to only fall for
我自己定了个规矩 一次只能
one of my friends' girlfriends at a time
爱上一位好朋友的女朋友
I'm very old fashioned that way
这方面我挺传统的
So at uh some point
也就是说你曾经
you probably had a thing for me too
也喜欢过我了吧
No not really
那倒没有
Oh come on Raj not even a little bit
拜托 拉杰 一点都没有吗
Not that I can think of
反正我想不起来这样过
Think harder
给老娘仔细想
Nope
没有
I guess the heart wants what the heart wants
我的心会跟着心的感觉走吧
Or in this case doesn't
而她不是我的菜
I mean at all
完全没兴趣
What
看我干嘛
Ye who now will bless the poor
但能济贫士
Shall yourselves find blessing
赐福自返还
Done
完啦
I think the word you're looking for is "bravo "
你想说的唱完赞叹词应该是"棒啊"
Okay you leave the room and find yourself
现在你们离开那个房间 发现自己
standing before a pool of melted snowmen
来到一个里面有融化的雪人的池子面前
Melted snowmen
融化的雪人
Are there carrots and lumps of coal in the water
水里有雪人五官的胡萝卜和煤块吗
I don't know What's the difference
不知道 有差别吗
It's a game of the imagination Leonard
这是个幻想游戏 莱纳德
Paint a picture Fine
-给我好好描述画面 -好吧
You leave the room and find yourself
你离开那个房间 发现自己
standing before a pool of melted snowmen
来到一个里面有融化的雪人的池子面前
There are carrots and lumps of coal in the water
水里尽是胡萝卜和煤块
Do we know what happened to the top hats and the corncob pipes
那雪人的大帽子和烟斗上哪了呢
You see those too
你也看见它们在水里了
Oh it's like I'm really there
真是身临其境呀
I gotta tell you this this is the most holiday fun I've had
自从我的治疗师换了我的焦虑症药
since my therapist changed my anxiety medication
而且我也再也不在乎我的血便后
and I stopped caring about the blood in my stool
我不得不说 这是我最开心的过节了
Good story
好故事
What are you drinking there
你喝什么呢
Little eggnog
蛋奶酒吗
Yes
是的
What is there a problem
怎么了 不行吗
No it's nice to see you enjoying a holiday beverage
看你喝圣诞饮品挺好的
Pretty Christmasy
很有节日氛围
Since when is eggnog a Christmas drink
蛋奶酒什么时候成圣诞专属了
Eggs are available all year 'round
一年四季都有鸡蛋生产
I've been known to enjoy this poolside
大家都知道我爱在泳池边喝这个
Come on Sheldon
拜托 谢尔顿
You know all the Christmas stories and the carols
你知道每一个圣诞故事 和颂歌
you've got an eggnog mustache going on there
现在还喝出了个蛋奶酒小胡子
Just admit it
承认吧
You're getting a little Yuletide spirit
你挺喜欢圣诞的
Oh don't be silly
别傻了
Christmas is a bunch of baloney created by the tinsel industry
圣诞节只不过是装饰品工业编出来骗钱的
Why is this so important to you
对你来说有什么要紧的啊
Honestly because I had enough crappy Christmases as a kid
坦白说 因为我小时候的圣诞节都过得很糟
and I'm tired of you sucking the joy out of them now
现在不想你再扫我的兴了
What was so bad about them
怎么过得不好了
I grew up in a house full of crazy academics
我家人都是疯子学术家
Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies
我们小孩不给圣诞老人留牛奶和饼干
we had to leave him a research paper
而是得留给他一份研究报告
And in the morning you could tell he'd been there
而第二天早晨 你会知道圣诞老人来过
because the paper would be graded
因为你留的报告都评好分了
No wonder you love Christmas
怪不得你这么喜欢圣诞节
That sounds amazing
听起来真是太酷了
It wasn't amazing
一点也不酷
I got a C minus four years in a row
我曾连续四年得了C-
Yeah I'm familiar with your work
我知道你的水平
C minus was your gift
C-都算送了你大礼了
Amy I'm really sorry
艾米 真是对不起
I didn't mean to upset you
我不是故意让你难过的
It's fine
没事
I'm used to being the girl who never gets looked at twice
我已经习惯被男生无视了
I didn't have my first kiss till I was 22
直到22岁 我才等到我的初吻
and the guy only did it so I'd give him back his insulin
那人亲我是因为我拿他的胰岛素要挟
Sometimes the pancreas wants what the pancreas wants
有时候 胰腺会跟着胰腺的感觉走
Forget it
算了
I don't expect you guys to understand
我没指望你们能明白
I understand
我明白
In seventh grade I played Spin the Bottle
七年级我玩"转瓶子"游戏时
瓶子指向谁 转的人就去亲对方
and it landed on Alina Shankar
瓶子指向了爱林娜·香卡
She said if I came near her
她说如果我敢靠近她
she would break the bottle and cut me
她就敲碎瓶子捅我
You think that's bad
你觉得这样算悲催吗
In college I passed out at a frat party
大学时 我在兄弟会派对上喝到不省人事
and woke up with more clothes on
醒来时发现衣服没少 反而更多了
Sometimes I get so lonely
有时候我感觉太孤单
I sit on my left hand until it goes numb
我会坐在左手上直到左手麻木
then I put it in my right hand
然后用右手握住
and pretend I'm holding hands with another person
假装是别人在握住我的手
I do that too
我也会这么做
Sometimes the left hand tries to cop a feel
有时候左手想伸伸禄山之爪
And I let it
我也任它随便摸
It's kind of nice to talk to someone who understands
能和了解孤单的人聊天
what it feels like to be alone
感觉真是太好了
It is isn't it
是吧
But you're not alone anymore
但你现在不再孤单了
Now you've got Sheldon I do
-你有谢尔顿 -是的
And don't worry someday you'll have somebody too
别担心 终有一天你也会有佳人相伴的
Thank you
谢谢
I hope she's half as lovely and amazing as you are
她只要有你一半美丽聪慧 我就心满意足了
Thank you Rajesh
谢谢你 拉杰什
He wants me I'm good We can go now
他对我动心了 我满意了 撤
Damn it
我靠
What
怎么了
Now that I know she doesn't like me
现在我知道她不喜欢我
I'm kind of into her
我好像有点喜欢她了
All right
好了
I think I cracked the code to lower the drawbridge
我想我破解了密码 可以放下吊桥了
Great Let's do it
太好了 开始吧
The drawbridge is lowering
吊桥正在缓缓放下
My carpal tunnel's acting up
我的腕管综合症发作了
Play through the pain
痛也得坚持
You did it The drawbridge is down
成功了 吊桥放下了
You cross the chasm
你们跨过峡谷
and find yourself in a small dungeon room
来到一间小小的地牢
And in the corner chained to the wall
在墙角 是被铁链锁住
you see a bloodied and beaten Santa Claus
被打到浑身鲜血的圣诞老人
He says "Ho ho help me "
他说 "呵 呵 救命"
Yes we found Santa
太棒了 我们找到了圣诞老人
Christmas is saved
圣诞节被拯救了
Don't ever tell my mother I said that
千万别告诉我妈我说过这句话[犹太人不过圣诞]
I take out my skeleton key
我取出万能钥匙
and run to Santa to unchain him
跑向圣诞老人给他解开铁链
But first I cast a spell of paralysis on Stuart and Howard
但我抢先向斯图尔特和霍华德施了麻痹咒
What are you doing
你这是干嘛
You can't talk you're paralyzed
你不能说话 你已经被我麻痹了
I get right up in Santa's big fat face and say
我来到圣诞老人的大肥脸跟前说
Well well well
瞧瞧瞧
Jolly old Saint Nick we meet again
乐呵呵的圣诞老头儿 我们又见面了
Jolly Old Saint Nicholas是一首著名的圣诞歌
Yeah I believe the last time we spoke
我相信上次我们聊天
was in the Baybrook Mall in Galveston Texas
还是在德州加尔维斯顿市的溪湾商场
when I was five years old isn't that right
我当时五岁 对吗
Uh okay
好吧
My mother dragged me there
我妈硬把我拉去
and she plopped me down on your lap
让我坐在你的大腿上
and you asked me what I wanted for Christmas
你问我圣诞节想要什么
And I told you "My Pop Pop "
我告诉你 "我要我的外公"
because that was the year my grandfather died
因为那年我的外公去世了
I missed him and I wanted him back
我想他 我想让他死而复生
This is weird right
现在有点诡异 对吧
Pop Pop was the only one in my family
家里只有外公一个人
who encouraged me to pursue science
鼓励我追求科学的真谛
But you didn't bring him back did you
但你没让他起死回生 对吗
Instead I got Lincoln Logs
我得到的礼物是林肯积木
Well you can build a lot of neat things out of Lincoln Logs
用林肯积木可以搭出很多有意思的东西
but Pop Pop ain't one of 'em
但是搭不出外公
And now you're here asking me for something
你现在竟然敢向我提出要求
to save you
要我救你
Well sorry Mr Kringle
抱歉了 圣诞老人先生
but today's not your day
今天不能让你如愿了
I'm leaving you here to rot
我要让你死在这里
and I hope the ogres feast on your bones
希望食人魔把你吃到尸骨无存
I take the skeleton key
我拿起万能钥匙
and I toss it into the chasm
扔进峡谷里
and on the way out I give Santa
离开之前 我给了圣诞老人的
a swift kick in his bowl full of jelly
肥果冻肚皮闪电一踹
形容圣诞老人的肚子
bowl full of jelly 装满果冻的碗 是圣诞歌的歌词
Okay
好吧
So Wolowitz and Stuart are paralyzed Santa's dead
沃罗威茨和斯图尔特被麻痹了 圣诞老人死了
and I picked this over having sex with my girlfriend
而我居然不和女友上床跑来玩这个
Santa
圣诞老人
Oh hello Sheldon
你好 谢尔顿
You should be asleep
你应该在睡觉啊
Well then you shouldn't have jingle bells on your boots
那你就别在靴子上挂铃铛吵人睡觉啊
I've been wanting to talk to you
我想跟你聊聊
I'm sorry I disappointed you when you were a little boy
抱歉在你小时候 我让你失望了
I I can do a lot of magical things
我能施展魔法做到不少事
but unfortunately
但遗憾的是
bringing your Pop Pop back isn't one of them
我没有能力让你的外公死而复生
I understand
我明白
But I I do have something special for you
但我有特别的礼物送给你
Close your eyes
闭上眼
Oh I hope it's a train
希望是火车
Oh it's better than a train
比火车要好
Two trains
两辆火车吗
Better
更好
I'm getting three trains
我要有三辆火车啦
Okay open 'em
好了 睁眼吧
This is for leaving me in the dungeon
这是回敬你把我留在地牢
to be eaten alive by ogres
让食人魔给生吞活剥了
Wait uh uh hang on
等等 别激动
I In my defense
容我解释下
Ho ho ho ya big dork
呵呵呵 你个大傻帽