生活大爆炸-S07E19_生活大爆炸

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Boy do I have to urinate

天啊我超想尿尿

If only there were a solution to that

要是有办法解决就好了

Seriously

真的

I feel like I've got a fish tank in my pelvis

我感觉骨盆那里好像有个鱼缸

So go to the bathroom

那就去上厕所啊

I can't

不行

Why not

为什么

Because I'm trying to decide

因为人家正在做决定

between getting an Xbox One or a PS4

是买Xbox One呢还是买PS4呢

Oh "Pee " Why'd I say that

"P"与尿尿同音说出来更想尿尿了

Forgive me for asking a stupid question

原谅我要问一个白痴的问题

but why are you being stupid

但你为什么在耍白痴啊

I'm not being stupid

我才不是耍白痴

I'm employing the work of Dutch researcher Mirjam Tuk

我采用的是荷兰研究员米莉亚·塔克的研究

who found that people with full bladders

她发现人们在憋尿的时候

make better decisions

能做出更好的决策

Why did I pee before I decided to move in here

我当初决定搬进来之前真不应该去尿尿

Oh how'd the audition go

试镜怎么样

I killed it

惊艳四座

I was even able to cry real tears right on the spot

我甚至在该哭的时刻真掉了眼泪

Oh that's great I know

-太好了 -就是

Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket

等下次我超速被警察拦下来罚款时

here come the waterworks

我的"水龙头"就会哗哗流

Here come the waterworks

我的"水龙头"也要哗哗流了

Aren't you gonna ask

你不问为什么吗

What is this my first day

我第一天搬来这吗

生

活

大

爆

炸

第七季第十九集

Can I get your opinion on something that happened at work today

今天公司有件事我能问下你们的意见吗

Of course Yeah sure

-当然可以 -没问题

Okay well I did something

我做了一件事

that will either make me look like a lovable goof

可能会让我看起来像一个可爱的呆瓜

or a horrible monster damned to spend eternity in hell

或一个该永生被罚下地狱的禽兽

I'm sure it's lovable

肯定是可爱的呆瓜

I'm gonna go with monster What do you got

我觉得会是禽兽说吧发生什么了

Well there's this lady in our office who's retiring

我们办公室有位女士要退休了

and they were passing around one of those big cards

同事们都把自己的祝语

for us to sign Okay

-写在一张大卡片里 -我懂

But no one told me she was in

但没人告诉我

a horrible car accident over the weekend

她周末出了严重的车祸

and what I was signing was not a retirement card

我当时签的不是一张退休贺卡

but was actually a "get well" card

而是一张"慰问"卡

I'm liking my odds here

我觉得我选对了

So on the card in the hospital

所以写在卡片上的话其实是给

next to the woman who's clinging to life are the words

一个好不容易活下来至今仍未出院的女人看

"Hey Vivian You deserve this""

"薇薇安这都是你应得[活该]的"

"And at least with you gone

"至少你"走"了以后

no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge "

没有人会偷吃我冰箱里的酸奶"

太坏了

"LOL Smiley face " Oh my gosh

-"滚地笑笑脸" -我听不下去了

"P S Good luck wherever you wind up "

"附注希望你一路走好"

Why didn't I put money on this

我一开始就该下重注赌钱

Hey that's my agent If I got the part

是我经纪人如果我得到那个角色

it's still the second best thing I've heard all day

那也只能屈居"今日最棒"排行榜的第二位

Hello

喂

Am I a terrible person

我是不是很坏呀

No No it was a mistake

不那只是误会而已

Am I a terrible person that it crossed my mind

我当时有想过如果她挂掉

that she might die and never see the card

就不会看见那张卡片了那这样坏不坏

Now I think you're flirting with the line

现在我觉得你在挑战道德底线了

Good news

是好消息吗

No I didn't get it

不我落选了

I'm so sorry

真可惜

You'll get offered something soon I kind of did

-很快会有新角色找你的 -好像是

The part in that awful horror movie I passed on

我之前拒演的那个垃圾恐怖片

came back around

现在又回来找我了

Apparently it's mine if I want it

显然如果我愿意那角色还是我的

Are you gonna take it

那你会接吗

I don't know what to do

我不知道该怎么办

Maybe you'll get hit by a car and die

可能哪天被车撞死就不用烦了

LOL right

滚地笑对吧

Emily right

你是艾米丽吧

Yeah

是的

I I don't know if you remember me

我不知道你是否还记得我

From the dating Web site

交友网站上的那个

Your friend e mailed me because you were afraid to

你因为不敢联系我所以让你朋友代劳

then you tracked me down and acted like a lunatic

而现在却像个疯子一样跟踪我

Yes Rajesh Koothrappali

没错我是拉杰什·库萨帕里

我只是

I wanted to say I'm sorry

我想跟你道个歉

Okay You were like

可以吗你大概是

the coolest person I ever found online

我在网上遇到的最酷的人

and I got really nervous

我当时真的好紧张

and I I just blew it

于是就搞砸了

Uh don't worry about it

都已经过去了

And if it makes you feel any better

如果能让你好过点

you're not the weirdest guy I've met off the Internet

你还不是我在网上遇到的最奇怪的人

Well give me a chance you don't even know me

给我个机会试试你还不知道我的真本事呢

All right

好吧

here's your chance

现在就给你机会

Wha Really

什么真的吗

Thank you

谢谢

Fate has given me a rare second chance

命运给了我难得的第二次机会

and I swear to Vishnu I'm not gonna blow it

我对毗湿奴[印度神]发誓这次我绝不搞砸

Or normal words followed by a charming smile

或是给你一个迷人的微笑说两句正常的话

So first there was PlayStation aka PS1

最先上市的游戏机也就是PS1

then PS2 PS3 and now PS4

然后是PS2 PS3 现在出到PS4了

And that makes sense

这很符合常理

You'd think after Xbox there'd be Xbox 2

你就会认为在Xbox之后会有Xbox2

But no next came Xbox 360

结果不是下一代叫Xbox360

And now after 360 comes Xbox One

而在360之后现在出的版本叫Xbox One

Why "One"

为什么要叫"One[一]"

Maybe that's how many seconds of thought they put into naming it

可能他们想名字的时候只花了"一"秒的时间吧

Can you get the butter please

能帮我拿下黄油吗

You know however with the Xbox One

但是用Xbox One

I can control my entire entertainment system

我可以通过语音指令控制

using voice commands

我整个娱乐系统

Up until now I've had to use Leonard

而到目前为止我都是用莱纳德

Then get the other one Pass the butter

那就买另外一个好了把黄油递给我

Get Hang on

买另外...等一下

I don't feel like you're taking this dilemma seriously

我觉得你没把我这难题当一回事

Fine Sheldon

行谢尔顿

You have my undivided attention

我现在专心听你说

Okay now the PS4 is

好 PS4的外形

more angular and sleek looking

有棱有角霸气犀利

No way Yeah well it's true

-这么帅 -是真的

But the larger size of the Xbox One

但Xbox One体型更大

may keep it from overheating

能帮助它免除过热的问题

Well you wouldn't want your gaming system to overheat

谁会想要自己的游戏机过热啊

No see Well you absolutely would not

不想当然不想啦

And furthermore the Xbox One

而且现在Xbox One

now comes with a Kinect included

随机附送体感控制器呢

Included Yes

-随机附送吗 -是啊

Not sold separately

不用额外买了

Although the PS4

可是 PS4主机

uses cool new GDDR5 RAM

用的是新款GDDR5内存

while the Xbox One is still using the conventional DDR3 memory

而Xbox One还在用旧款的DDR3内存

Why would they still be using DDR3

他们为啥还用DDR3内存啊

Are they nuts

他们脑子坏了吗

See That's what I thought

就是啊我也是这么想的

But then they go and throw in an eSRAM buffer

但他们还加了嵌入式静态存储器

Whoa whoa Wait a second

等等先停一下

Who's "they" Xbox

-"他们"是指谁 -Xbox啊

You're kidding No I am not

-你在开玩笑啊 -我真的不是

And this eSRAM buffer should totally bridge

而这个嵌入式静态存储器应该能够

the 100 gigabit per second bandwidth gap

弥补两家用的两种内存之间

between the two RAM types

每秒100G比特的带宽差距啊

This is a nightmare How will you ever make a decision

太残忍了这让你怎么下决定啊

You see I don't know

所以我才一直举棋不定啊

What should I do

我到底该怎么做

Please pass the butter

快给老娘黄油

Okay it's not me right This script is terrible

不是我的问题是这剧本烂爆了

Yeah

是啊

I had higher hopes for a movie called

我内心对一部名叫

Serial Ape ist 2 Monkey See Monkey Kill

《杀人恶猿2 猴见猴杀》的电影期望可"高"了

You know it's still possible

电影虽烂

for you to be good in a bad movie

但你还是有机会能在里面大放异彩啊

Okay

好吧

"Sometimes I feel like I can control

"有时候我觉得我已经能控制

the killer gorilla instinct inside of me

我心中杀人恶猿的凶性

but then I see these bananas and I

但我看到这些香蕉以后我就...

just want to eat them and then kill people "

超级想大快朵颐然后大开杀戒"

What am I gonna do

我到底该怎么做啊

Well for starters I wouldn't eat the bananas

首先呢你不该吃那些香蕉

No Come on

不是啦别闹

This is serious

人家很认真呢

Does it at least pay well

那这部戏的酬劳高吗

Less than I was making at The Cheesecake Factory

比我在起司工厂打工的钱还少

What does your agent think

你的经纪人怎么看

She's thinking of taking a job at The Cheesecake Factory

她在考虑去起司工厂应征

You know what why don't you just do it

这样吧你就直接去演吧

You'll go have fun for a few weeks make some money

你能去玩个几周赚点小钱

and who knows what it might lead to

谁知道这会为你带来什么机遇呢

Okay look here page 58

好了你看第58页

I oil wrestle an orangutan in a bikini

我跟红毛猩猩在油中摔跤穿着比基尼哦

Just to clarify which one of you is wearing the bikini

我就确定一下是你还是它穿比基尼

Both of us

两人都穿

So it's a family film

这电影适合合家观赏啊

Thank you again for dinner

谢谢你今天的晚餐

You're welcome

不客气

Good night

晚安

Uh it's date night

今晚是约会之夜

Aren't you uh forgetting something

你是不是忘了什么事了

Oh of course

懂了

Did I mention the PS4 controllers light up

我有告诉你PS4的手把会发光吗

没有

Well they do

它们真会发光哦

And then after coffee we went for a walk

喝完咖啡之后我们俩去散步了一会

and she told me she always thought people from India

她跟我说她一直觉得印度人

were exotic and mysterious

很神秘又有异国风情

So with my mouth I said

虽然我嘴上说

"we're just like anybody else "

"我们跟其他人都差不多啦"

but with my eyes I said

但其实我的眼神在说

"Straight up Red hop on my flying carpet "

"上来吧红发妞跳上我的魔法飞毯"

So you gonna see her again

你们还会约会吗

Yeah we have plans this weekend

会啊这周末我们就有安排

And if it's a clear night

而如果那晚能看到星星

I'm gonna lay some romantic astronomy on her

我会对她使使出浪漫天文泡妞招

Okay like what Show me

是吗使给本宫看看

I can't do that to Leonard

我不能做对不起莱纳德的事

This is some powerful panty dropping stuff

我这招数一出女人小裤裤必定落地

You have my blessing Go for it

朕批准了你尽管出招

Okay

好吧

Penny

佩妮

two of the brightest stars in the night sky

夜空中那两颗最明亮的星星

are Altair and Vega

是牛郎星与织女星

And it is said they were deeply in love

传说中他们俩深爱着对方

but forever separated

但却被永远地

by the celestial river of the Milky Way

分隔在银河系的天河两侧

Oh that's sad It is

-好可怜 -是啊

But once a year

但每年都会有一天

on the seventh day of the seventh month

在每年第七个月第七天的晚上

Vega cries so hard

织女会哭得十分惨

that all the magpies in the world fly up

这时世界上所有的喜鹊都会飞到天上

and create a bridge with their wings

用它们的翅膀搭一座鹊桥

so the two lovers can be together

让这一对恋人能有机会相聚

for a single night

虽然这激情团聚

of passion

只有仅仅一夜

Okay that's enough

好了够了

Quick poll PS4 or Xbox One

快速投票买PS4或Xbox One

Raj

拉杰

Uh Xbox One Penny

-Xbox One -佩妮

Huh

啥

Leonard PS4

-莱纳德 -PS4

Wolowitz Both great

-霍洛维兹 -两个都不错

Bernadette I like the Wii

-博纳黛特 -我喜欢Wii

Thanks Grandma

多谢了奶奶

Oh my Goodness What's up

-我的天 -怎么了

I just got an e mail from my ex girlfriend Lucy

我的前女友露西给我发了一封邮件

She misses me and wants to get together

她说...她很想我希望和我聚一聚

Two women at the same time

哇一男驭二女

Nice job playa

厉害哦小淫棍

Really

真得这么说话吗

Was it the "two women" thing or the "playa"

是"驭二女"还是"小淫棍"的问题

It was the "Playa"

看来是小淫棍

What am I supposed to do

我该怎么办

How am I supposed to choose between Emily and Lucy

我该如何在艾米丽和露西之间抉择

Why do you have to choose Date both of them

何必费神去选两个一起约嘛

I can't date two women at once

我可不会同时和两个女生谈恋爱

Zero women that's my sweet spot

一个女人都不剩那才是我的长项

Unless you're sleeping with one of them

只要你没和她们上床

seeing other people isn't a big deal

跟其他人约会就没什么关系

But what if one of them asks me

可要是其中一人问起

what I was up to the night before

昨天晚上干了什么

and I was with the other one

而我恰好是和另一个人约会去了

Then what do I lie

那我该怎么办骗她吗

Yes Yes

-没错 -当然

What do you mean yes

你说"没错"是什么意思

What do you mean yes

你的"当然"又是什么意思

Were you seeing other women when we started dating

我们约会时你也和其他女人约会吗

No Were you seeing other men

我没有你有跟其他男人约会吗

我也没有

Were you seeing other men

你有跟其他男人约会吗

没有

Aren't you gonna ask me

你怎么不问我

Come on really

拜托有必要问吗

Thank you so much for letting us pick your brain

多谢你抽空向我们指教

Yeah happy to help

没事举手之劳

So what's going on

你有什么问题

Well I'm having an impossible time

我的事业现在发展

getting my career off the ground

极其不顺

and I got offered a role in this crappy horror movie

正好有个超级烂片找我去演

and I just don't know if I should take it

所以我不知道该不该接受这个角色

Well I have certainly taken some jobs that I've been embarrassed by

我自己也接过一些让我觉得丢人的片子

I wouldn't exactly call Star Trek embarrassing

《星际迷航》也算不上丢人吧

I wasn't

我说的不是它

Me either

我也没说它

So what do you think

所以你怎么看

is there a professional downside to doing it

做这件事有什么专业上的坏处吗

Well it's tricky

这很难讲

You want to take projects that you're excited about

你当然希望选自己喜欢的工作来做

but sometimes you also have to pay the bills

但有时你也不得不为五斗米折腰

When you're on the set working on something

当你在做片场演自己

that you just know in your heart is bad

心里觉得超烂的片子时

not Star Trek

我不是指《星际迷航》

Yeah beam me up I love it

把我传送上去[星际迷航台词] 我超爱这戏

Anyway those jobs can be soul crushing

反正这些工作很可能会毁掉你的信心

That's what I'm afraid of

我就是担心这个

Well I was in Stand By Me when I was a kid

我小时候出演过《与我同行》

and it was a huge success

这片子当时可火爆了

The terrible movies I did came after that

在这之后我演了不少烂片

I mean imagine how that feels

想象一下我当时的感受

Sounds rough

肯定很不堪

I'm telling you this business is brutal

相信我演艺界很残酷

To this day I hate going on auditions

直到今天我还是很讨厌去试镜

Okay I walk in and I can just

我一走进去就可以感受到

feel them thinking

他们在想

"He was such a cute kid

"这孩子以前多可爱

What happened to him "

时光真是把杀猪刀啊"

And then I don't get the job

结果我没能接到这个角色

and I can never find out why

也永远不知道原因

Honestly I get so depressed

老实说我深受打击

there are entire weeks that I can't even get out of bed

有时候好几周我连床都爬不起来

Okay this was helpful

你的话对我们帮助太大了

Any news on your coworker who's in the hospital

你那位住院的同事最近如何啊

Poor thing she was in surgery for 18 hours

她好可怜动了18个小时手术

She's alive but she's still in critical condition

虽然活下来了但情况仍然危急

Oh no

真不幸

The one bit of good news is they put her

唯一的好消息是她还没来得及看卡片

in a medically induced coma before she read the card

就被医生用药物陷入昏迷状态了

So you know silver linings

也算是不幸中的万幸吧

Were you like this when I married you

你和我结婚时就这个样子了吗

Don't worry about it buddy

别担心了兄弟

Okay bye

好的回见

That was Wil he's feeling a lot better

是威尔他情绪恢复得好多了

Apparently he's 12 down

他的名字出现在

in the TV Guide crossword puzzle

《电视指南》纵横字迷的第12行

Did he help you make a decision about the movie

他有帮你做出决定到底要不要接那部戏吗

No Did you figure out

没那你想好

what you're gonna do about the two girls

要如何应对那两个女孩了吗

As a matter of fact I did

老实说我想好了

I've spent so many years living in fear

这些年来我深陷恐惧之中

saying no to new experiences

不敢面对新的事物

but from now on

但从现在起

I'm gonna say yes

我要积极接受一切

yes to love yes to adventure yes to life

接受爱接受挑战拥抱生活

whatever it may be the answer's going to be yes

不管什么事我都会勇敢地去接受

He's gonna die alone right

这家伙绝对孤独终老对吧

Yeah Yes

-没错 -绝对的

I'm proud of you Sheldon

以你为荣谢尔顿

You know I'm proud of me too

我也以自己为荣

I've done all my research

我做了全面的研究

I conducted an informal poll

发起了一个非正式的民意投票

and I've arrived at the rock solid certainty

所以我现在清楚明白地知道

I've made the right choice

我做的选择是对的

Well that's got to be a good feeling

你现在心情一定非常好

Oh it is

的确如此

Although Oh crap

-可是... -我靠

I had the same feeling when I made my dad

当年我逼我爸不买录影带系统

而去买另一家产品时心情也是这样

You were just a little kid

你还只是小孩而已

Yeah a little kid who picked the wrong format

对一个选错了格式

to record The MacNeil/Lehrer Report

录"麦克尼尔和莱尔报导"的孩子

PBS台的新闻节目 83年便已改名

I also was certain

我还曾确信

that HD DVD would win out over Blu ray

高清DVD会胜过蓝光呢

How old were you then

你那时候多大

Old enough to know better

大到应该知道哪种更好

You know and now that I think about it

现在想想

I stood in front of a case of iPods

我曾经站在一箱子iPod前

and I bought a Zune

我却买了Zune

What's a Zune

什么是Zune

Yeah exactly

就是说啊

It's an MP3 player

是一款MP3播放器

brought to us by the makers of Xbox

制造商正是生产Xbox的这家[微软]

What no what are you doing

不你在做什么

No no pick that back up

不快拿回来

You know it's good You did the research

你知道这个好你都做足研究了

But what if I'm wrong

但如果我错了呢

You know what

这样吧

How about I buy it for you

不如我买给你

How about

不如

I buy you both

我两个全买给你

You know I only have one slot available

你知道我的电视上

in my entertainment center

只有一个槽可以用

Then I'll buy you a new entertainment center

那我就给你买个新电视

Well yeah okay sure

想得到容易

But which one

但买哪个牌子好呢

How about this

这样吧

I've heard that if you flip a coin

我听说如果扔硬币

it will tell you how you actually feel

可以告诉你你真正的想法

Because you'll either be disappointed

因为结果要么让你失望

or excited by the outcome

要么令你激动

Interesting

有意思

So heads it's PS4

正面是PS4

tails it's Xbox One

背面是Xbox One

All right I'll try

好吧我试试

What is it

是什么

A quarter

一枚硬币

Could have given it back to me

你也可以还给我

That was a choice

这也是一种选择

You look

你看起来

you look really pretty tonight

你今晚看起来真漂亮

Thanks

谢谢

I love that jacket

你的外套也不错

Thank you Thanks thanks

谢谢谢谢

I'm sorry I can't do this

对不起我做不到

My my ex girlfriend e mailed me

我的前女友给我发了电邮

and I'm seeing her Saturday

我周六会和她见面

And I'm glad you like it it's from J Crew

我很高兴你觉得我外套好看是克鲁牌的

I don't understand

我不明白

My friends told me it was okay

我的朋友们告诉我

to see more than one person at a time

同时和多个人约会没问题

but it it feels like I'm being deceitful

但我感觉我在欺骗你

Are you getting back together with her

你会和她复合吗

不

I I I have no idea

我不知道

What would you do

如果是你会怎么做

Uh usually on first dates I talk about music and stuff

通常第一次约会我会谈谈音乐什么的

but I was promised weird so let's do this

但既然说好了你是怪人就谈这个吧

How serious were you two

你们之前有多认真

Well to be honest

说实话

we only went on four dates

我们只约会过四次

hugged twice kissed once

拥抱过两次吻过一次

and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo

还有一个充满了性暗示的握手

Wait so

慢着

a girl you never slept with sent you an e mail

一个你从没"睡"过的女生发了电邮给你

and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me

让你内疚到你觉得必须告诉我吗

Yeah

是的

That's kind of adorable

挺可爱的

Are you are you sure

你说真的吗

Because this is the part of the night

因为一般约会到了这个环节

where I've said something stupid and the girl usually leaves

都是我说了傻话女生就直接走了

I'm still here

我还没走啊

Yeah but now you make me wonder what's wrong with you

但现在你让我怀疑你到底有什么毛病

We just met

我们刚认识

You don't need to tell me about other people you're seeing

你不必告诉我你约会的其他人

Really

真的吗

Because "I'm dating two women"

因为"我同时和两个女生约会"

is basically the only cool thing I can say about myself

基本上是我唯一可吹嘘的潮男事迹

On the one hand the Xbox One has a better camera

一方面 Xbox One的摄像头更好

but the PS4 has a removable hard drive

但PS4可随意换硬盘

Thoughts

有何想法

I can't feel my legs

我的腿麻了

Oh I'm sorry guys

不好意思两位

but the store closed five minutes ago

商店五分钟前就关门了

But I haven't decided yet

但我还没决定好买哪个

You'll have to come back tomorrow

那你就明天再来买

The registers are closed

收银机已经关了

Let's get you some food

咱们去吃点东西吧

Y You'll feel better after you eat

吃了东西后你就会感觉好些

Okay

好的

What what do you want like Thai food

你想吃什么泰国菜

A A burger

还是汉堡

I don't know

人家不知道嘛

Hey look a quarter

看一枚硬币

How's that feel

感觉如何

Great

非常好

Not like regret at all

完全"不后悔"

Penny

佩妮

We're working together

我们是同事了

Awesome

太棒了