生活大爆炸-S07E09_生活大爆炸

S01

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The math is all there

我们用数学算过了

It's not real Yes it is

-这不可能 -的确可能

Yeah uh look

好吧听着

It is scientifically impossible

从科学角度上来说单凭一人之力

将其推倒取乐的一种活动

Tip a cow over是指在牛站着睡觉的时候悄悄走到旁边

for a person to tip a cow

不可能从侧面将牛推倒

Even you with your stocky build and lumberjack shoulders

就连你这个虎背熊腰的女汉子

you couldn't do it

也不可能做到

It's horrible Why would you push a cow over

太可怕了你为什么要把牛推到

They're sacred

它们多神圣啊

印度人敬牛如敬神

Oh stop it

少来了

I've seen you eat like a million hamburgers

我都见你吃过不下一百万个牛肉汉堡了

Hey an animal can be both sacred and delicious

动物可以集神圣和美味于一身

Look I'm telling you I've done it okay

告诉你们我的确把牛推倒过

I clearly remember the cow standing up

我清楚地记得牛先是站着的

and then the cow on its side

然后就倒到一侧了

Were you drunk

你是不是喝醉了

I was 16 in Nebraska What do you think

我当时是内布拉斯加州的16岁少女你觉得呢

I think you're the one who fell over

我觉得你才是倒下的那个

That would explain why the sky was also on its side

怪不得当时天空也也倒在一侧

Howard Cow tipping real or not

霍华德 "推牛倒"是真的还是假的

I'm gonna say not

我觉得是假的

That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over

因为我曾试过在我妈打鼾时让她翻身

when she's snoring

可死都推不动她

Speaking of that big side of beef

说到大块的肉

uh she's invited all of you to Thanksgiving at her house

她邀请你们去她家过感恩节

You know I've been told that a bald refusal

有人跟我说赤裸裸地拒绝别人的邀请

of an invitation is rude

是很无礼的

and one must instead offer up a polite excuse so

所以必须编造一个礼貌的借口来回绝

I'd love to go but unfortunately

我也很想去但不幸的是

that sounds awful

那听起来很可怕

Come on it'll be fun

去嘛一点都不可怕

Uh we were actually gonna do it here

我们其实打算在这里过

Please Bernadette's bringing her dad

拜托啦伯纳黛特的妈妈不在家

'cause her mom's out of town

所以她会带她爸来

and I never have anything to say to that guy

可我跟他爸总是话不投机

Oh since you put it that way I'd love to go

既然你都这么说了我也想帮你

but that sounds even more awful

但那听起来更可怕了

It'd actually be nice to not hear

其实不用一天都听

Sheldon complain about my cooking all day

谢尔顿抱怨我的厨艺挺好的

Yo uh excuse me

什么不好意思

but every year you prepare a terrible meal

但每年你的菜都做得难吃

and every year I criticize it

我每年都批评你的厨艺

Do our traditions mean nothing to you

难道我们的传统对你来说毫无意义吗

I want to go Yeah me too

-我想去 -我也是

I'm in Sheldon

-我也去 -谢尔顿

Ugh fine I'll go

好吧我去

But if her food is delicious Thanksgiving is ruined

但如果菜都很好吃那感恩节就被毁了

and it's on you

这笔账算你的

第七季第九集

生活大爆炸

Do we really have to go to Mrs Wolowitz's house

我们真的要去沃罗威茨夫人家吃饭吗

We do

是的

And I expect you to be on your best behavior

我希望你的行为举止要得当

Now I know how the African slaves felt

现在我了解非洲黑奴当时的感受了

Being dragged from their homes

被人强行从自己家园拖出

to labor under the yoke of the white man

沦为受白人控制和使唤的劳力

Are you honestly comparing

你真的要把

Thanksgiving dinner at Wolowitz's mom's

去沃罗威茨妈妈家吃饭

with one of the greatest tragedies

和人类历史上最大的悲剧之一

in the history of mankind

这两件事相提并论吗

Yes

是的

Sheldon you can have a nice Thanksgiving anywhere

谢尔顿不管在哪里都可以过个开心的感恩节

I spent one in Vegas

我就在维加斯试过

You did

是吗

Yeah back when I was dating Zack

对啊当时我在跟扎克约会

It was actually more fun than I thought

那个感恩节比我想象中有趣多了

We gambled we went to one of those cheesy wedding chapels

我们先去赌博然后去了一家低档的婚礼教堂

we had a really good turkey dinner

我们还吃了一顿超美味的火鸡大餐

Which was surprising since we were at a strip club

真的想不到这么好吃因为我们是在脱衣舞俱乐部

Wait you went to a chapel

慢着你们俩还去教堂了吗

Yeah Why

-是啊 -去干嘛

We had one of those silly fake weddings

我们不过是办了一场假婚礼

只要新郎新娘两个人说"我愿意"就可以

拉斯维加斯办理结婚无需繁琐的手续

Penny

佩妮

you know those are real right

你知道那是真结婚对吧

No they're not

不是假结婚

Yeah they are

是真的

Yeah they are

是真的

He's right They're real

-他说得对 -是真的

But it didn't seem real

但那看上去不像真的呀

Let me ask you a question

我问你个问题

At any point was Las Vegas on its side

有没可能当时你眼中的拉斯维加斯是倒在一侧的呢

Hi Dad Hi honey

-爸爸 -乖宝贝

Oh you brought beer for everybody

你还给大家买了啤酒啊

Uh okay yeah it's for everybody

好吧没错人人都有份

I really just wanted to have a nice quiet day at home

我真是只想今天安静地在家待着

and watch the game

看看比赛

You can have a quiet day and watch the game here

你在这里也能安静待着看比赛啊

Howard the medicine's not working

霍华德那药不管用

You just took it

你刚吃了没多久

At least let it reach your first stomach

至少等它先到达你第一个胃再说

Hey Mike

迈克来了啊

Let me help you out there Thanks

-我来帮你拿吧 -谢谢

What's wrong with your mom

你妈妈怎么了

Oh her gout's flaring up

她的痛风加重了

Turns out an apple pie a day

看来一天一个苹果派

does not keep the doctor away

并不能让你远离疾病

How can one little toe hurt so bad

为什么我的小脚趾这么疼呢

Maybe because that little piggy

或许是因为那只小脚趾

is being crushed by the barn

被你的庞大的身躯压碎了

She should quiet down soon

她很快就会安静下来

I gave her enough pain meds to choke a

我给她的止痛药足以让一头...

well her

让她安静下来

I guess we're gonna have to do all the cooking

我们得开始做饭了

I have a better idea

我有个更好的主意

If you think you're gonna make me do all this by myself

如果你想让我一个人干所有的活

you're crazy

那绝对不行

I was gonna make Raj do it all by himself

我是想让拉杰一个人干所有的活

Oh well that's a great idea

那真是个好主意

No traffic we're sailing

路上没车真是一帆风顺啊

Yes

是啊

Like we're on a ship

好像我们在船上一样

Coming from Africa to America

一艘从非洲到美国的船

Sheldon that's completely inappropriate

谢尔顿这样做太不恰当了

You can't keep comparing yourself to a slave

你不能一直将自己比作奴隶

Yes Miss Amy

是的艾米小姐

I can't believe you're married to that idiot

真不敢相信你居然跟那个傻蛋结婚了

Ugh would you stop We just did it as a goof

别说了行吗我们只是闹着玩的

Well a goof or not you're actually married

不管是不是闹着玩你们都是真结婚了

You need to get this taken care of I will

-你得解决这件事 -我会的

Why are you making this such a big deal

你干嘛在这件事上小题大作

Oh oh oh I have a reason

我知道原因

It could be because you said yes to marrying Zack

可能是因为你愿意嫁给扎克

but every time Leonard's proposed

而每次莱纳德向你求婚时

he's gotten a resounding no

你总是拒绝他

Yeah that's just off the top of my head

我一下子就想到这个答案了

So how do I undo this

那我该怎么办

I'm hoping you can get an annulment

我希望你能解除婚约

It's just like it never happened

就好像这事从来没发生过

Great well what do I have to do

好啊那我应该怎么做

It says here you can get an annulment

从法律上说解除婚约

if any of the following conditions are met

必须满足一下任何一个条件

"Were you unable to consummate the marriage "

"婚后两人从未圆房"

Penny Next

佩妮是欲女下一条

"Is there any evidence of fraud bigamy

"两人间存在欺骗重婚

want of understanding "

缺乏谅解"

"Want of understanding " What does that even mean

到底什么是"缺乏谅解[理解力]"

Ding ding ding We have a winner

叮叮叮说的就是你

Thanks for saving the day

谢谢你救我于水火之中

Ah no problem

不用谢

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving

没有印第安人[印度人]献上美食

并感谢印第安人曾在危急的时刻送来食物和帮助他们

美国的第一个感恩节是印第安人与新移民第一次齐聚感谢上天赐予

without an Indian providing the food

就不算是真正的感恩节

Uh now where does your mom keep the Crisco

你妈妈把植物奶油放哪里了

Um I don't know

我不知道

Probably in a wad in her cheek

大概是塞在她脸颊的肥肉里了

I'll help Raj in here

我在这里帮拉杰

Why don't you go keep my dad company

你出去陪我爸爸好吗

Oh he doesn't want me in there

他可不想我陪他

I'm the creepy little guy who has sex with his daughter

我在他眼中是睡了他乖女儿的讨厌鬼

Don't be silly he loves you Does he

-别傻了他喜欢你 -真的吗

Okay he cares about you a lot Really

-好吧至少他关心你啊 -真的吗

I do crap for you all the time Get out there

老娘不也经常为你做牛做马快滚出去

So your wife's in Arizona with the grandkids

你太太和孙子们一起待在亚利桑那吗

You know my mom's been to Arizona

我妈妈也去过亚利桑那州

She rode one of those mules down in the Grand Canyon

她骑着一头骡子穿越大峡谷

Long story short they had to shoot it

最后为了让骡子落个安乐死人们把它射死了

'Cause she's so fat

因为我妈实在太胖了

I'll get the door while you finish laughing

您慢慢笑我去开门

Hey guys

大家好

Happy Thanksgiving

感恩节快乐

It smells wonderful

闻起来真香啊

Is anyone slaving away in the kitchen

是谁在厨房做苦力

Because I too know Sheldon

-因为我也... -谢尔顿

Here Thank you for having us

给你谢谢你邀请我们

What's with you Oh she's mad at me

-你怎么了 -她在生我的气

because she just found out she's married to Zack

因为她刚发现她和扎克结婚了

Really

真的吗

That dumb ass she used to date

那个和她约会过的傻蛋吗

That's hysterical

这也太搞笑了

I can't believe I felt bad for opening this in the car

亏我还为在车里打开了这酒而自责

You need any help Uh yeah

-你俩要帮忙吗 -好呀

can you uh reach that uh gravy boat up there

你能拿一下上面的酱汁碗吗

Uh sure Great

-没问题 -太好了

That makes one of you

至少你俩还有人能够得着

Okay we have a lot to do and not much time to do it

我们任务重大时间却很紧迫

Bernadette you're on corn gravy and yam detail

伯纳黛特你负责玉米肉酱汁和红薯

Amy you're on rolls cranberries

艾米你负责面包卷蔓越莓

and making sure Bernadette stays away from the marshmallows

并且确保不让伯纳黛特靠近棉花糖

That's right I see you

没错我看见你偷吃了

Okay if you have any questions

如果有问题要问

I'll be over here basting my ass off

我就在这里专心地给烤肉刷油

Focus is key

集中注意力是关键

Did you guys know Penny married Zack three years ago

你们知道佩妮和扎克三年前就结婚了吗

What Wha

-什么 -啥

You ever play football

你打过橄榄球吗

A little in college

大学时玩过一点

You No

-你呢 -没玩过

But I did get tackled in the hallway once

不过我曾经作为球被人在走廊阻截过一次

The whole school cheered

整个学校欢声雷动啊

Hey I found the uh court papers

我找到了你和扎克

that you and Zack need to fill out

需要填写的法庭文件

I'll print them when we get home Fine

-等我回家就打印出来 -行

And we can just put this whole thing behind us

然后我们就可以彻底忘掉这事了

Are you done What

-你有完没完 -怎么了

Look I get it I screwed up

我知道我做错了

Is this all we're gonna talk about the rest of the day

难道今天剩下的时间你都要提起这件事吗

Why are you mad at me

你对我凶什么呀

You're the one that did the stupid thing

明明是你做了蠢事

I'm just trying to fix it

而我只是帮你解决而已

I need some air

我需要呼吸点新鲜空气

Well Penny

那个...佩妮

Now I don't know the first thing about women

我虽然完全不了解女人

but I would not follow her

但我要是你我就不会跟出去

Listen to Stretch

听瘦高个的话没错

How am I the bad guy

怎么成了我的错了

She's the one who married someone else I'm the victim

是她乱嫁人我是受害者好吗

Sounds like Zack's the victim

扎克才是受害者吧

You're sleeping with his wife

你睡了人家老婆

I've kept my marriage together for 35 years

我的婚姻35年来一直幸福和睦

Can I weigh in here

我能给点建议吗

Sure

好呀

I'm trying to watch the game Shut up

我正在看比赛呢闭嘴

How do you not make a first down there

怎么会错过第一次进攻呢

They passed against a nickel defense

人家用了五个后卫他们还敢传球

They should have run it off tackle

应该采取摆脱拦截才对

How the hell do you know that

你怎么会看球

My father loved football

我爸爱死橄榄球了

He always made me watch it

他总是强迫我一起看

before I was allowed to do my homework

不看完不准做作业

Well you'll be happy to know I just spoke to Zack

你高兴了吧我刚打电话给扎克了

and he's willing to sign the court papers

他会签那些文件的

He's on his way here now

他马上就过来

Wait you invited him here Yeah

-等等你居然让他来这 -是呀

I'm getting ready to weigh in again

我准备再次发表建议了

Come on

过来

What do you think they ought to do now

你觉得他们现在应该怎么做

I would throw a quick slant to a wideout

我会快速斜向往球场内出发扔球给外接手

given that the defense is showing blitz

因为防守线卫似乎要向传球员突袭了

Oh I love a good blitz

我最喜欢薄饼卷了

especially with sour cream

尤其是加酸奶油的那种

Get it

懂我笑点吗

'Cause it sounds like "Blintz "

因为这两者音很近啊

Did someone say "Blintz"

刚有人说"薄饼卷"吗

I just don't understand why you invited him here today

我不明白你为什么非得今天把他叫来

Because you wouldn't shut up about it

因为你唠叨个没完

When I called him he had nothing to do

我打给他时他反正也没事干

so I just thought it would

所以我就想...

Hey guys I'm trying to cook in here

两位我在里面做饭呢

Oh sorry We'll keep it down

抱歉我们会小点声的

No no speak up

不大声点

I'm about to use the blender

我要用搅拌器了

and I don't want to miss anything

可我一句也不想漏掉

Well you might have to cook for one more

你要多准备一人份的食物了

because she invited Zack

因为她邀请了扎克过来

What Ooh

-什么 -哇哦

My my

我的天

The plot like my gravy thickens

故事发展如同我的肉汁越加复杂[浓厚]了

I don't care for your mother's bathroom

我不喜欢你妈的卫生间

There's not an angle to do one's business

不管你面朝哪边尿尿

without a clown figurine staring at you

都有一个小丑雕像瞪着你

That's why I sit

所以我才坐着尿

Yeah that's why

没错所以你才不爷们

You remember the Thanksgiving game

你还记得达拉斯下大雪的

when it snowed in Dallas

那次感恩节比赛吗

1993

1993年

Leon Lett blew the game in the final seconds

里昂·莱特在最后几秒犯了错

and the Dolphins emerged victorious

海豚队取得了胜利

Then I finally got to do my calculus

于是我终于能做我的微积分题了

I was so pissed I wanted to shoot my TV

我当时气疯了差点没一枪崩了电视

So was my dad

我爸也是

And then he did

他真的开了枪

Anyone need a beer Yeah

-有人还要啤酒吗 -我要

Thank God

谢天谢地

So does your dad still live in Texas

你爸爸还住在德克萨斯吗

No He died when I was 14

不我十四岁时他就死了

I'm sorry to hear that

真是太遗憾了

So was the man who owned the local liquor store

本地酒店的老板也很遗憾

He cried and cried

他泣不成声痛哭流涕

Here you go

啤酒来了

Oh thanks

谢谢

So if your dad died when you were 14

既然你爸在你十四岁就过世了

you were never old enough to have a beer with the man

你肯定没机会和他一起喝啤酒吧

No sir

是的先生

He did try to give me one for my high school graduation

我高中毕业时他想跟我喝一罐

but I was 11 and my mom said no

但我才11岁我妈妈说不行

Well you're having one with me

那你就跟我喝一罐吧

All right

好的

To your dad

敬你的父亲

I never had a beer with my dad either

我也从来没和我爸喝过啤酒

Do you mind We're having a moment here

能别插嘴吗我们喝得正欢呢

I can't believe Penny's married to Zack

真不敢相信佩妮嫁给了扎克

Wonder what she saw in that guy

不知道她看上他哪一点

I don't know

不知道

He's sweet he's tall handsome

他可爱高大英俊

Broad shoulders good hair

他有宽阔的肩膀浓密的头发

Wonder what she sees in Leonard

不知道她看上莱纳德哪一点

How's it going out there

外面情况如何

Sheldon and your dad are bonding

谢尔顿和你爸把酒言欢

and completely ignoring me

完全无视我的存在

I know how you feel

我知道你的感受

Sheldon ignored me for a week when he got that Roomba vacuum

他买了智能吸尘器后无视了我一周

I kick it when he's not looking

趁他不注意的时候我踢了那玩意一脚

What are they doing

他们在做什么

They're drinking beer and watching football

喝啤酒看橄榄球比赛

So why don't do that with them

你就和他们一起呗

They don't want me

他们不要我

What do you mean

什么意思

Well Sheldon started talking about how his dad isn't alive anymore

谢尔顿开始诉说他的父亲已经不在人世了

and they were toasting and I tried to tell them about

在他们碰杯时我试图告诉他们

how sad I was when my dad abandoned

我父亲抛弃我们时我有多难过

Zack's here

扎克到了

Stir the gravy

搅拌肉汁

Sorry I really want to hear how sad you are

对不起我真的很想听你有多难过

I'll be back in like five ten minutes

五到十分钟后我就会回来了

Sorry she made you come over here on a holiday

抱歉今天过节她还让你过来

It's all right I didn't have anything going on

没关系反正我也没安排

Plus Penny told me we're married

而且佩妮说我们结婚了

and Thanksgiving's a time to be with family

感恩节就是要和家人一起

Yeah okay great

非常好

Can we just get this over with

咱们速战速决吧

Yeah uh you guys have to sign here and here

好在这里和这里签名

On Monday we'll file for the annulment

星期一我们会提出无效申请

and this "Marriage" will be over

这段婚姻就结束了

Okay

好了

I don't know if I want to sign it

我不确定我是否想签这份文件

Why won't you sign it

你为什么不想签

I just think splitting up can be rough on kids

我只是觉得分手对孩子影响不好

We don't have any kids

我们没有孩子

Are you sure 'Cause you didn't know

你确定吗你也是

we were married until this morning

今早才知道我们结婚了

Okay look Zack come on

扎克拜托

You know neither of us thought this was real

我们都知道那场婚礼不是真的

I mean we were married by an Elvis impersonator

主婚人是山寨猫王

Of course it was an impersonator

当然是山寨的了

We could never afford a real Elvis

真的猫王我们请不起好吧

You married him instead of me

你居然嫁给他不嫁给我

Good call

真有眼光

Sign the papers

快签字

Hang on You know what

慢着算了

You have been a jerk about this all day

你一整天都是一副欠揍的态度

You always do this whenever I mess up

你总是这样每次我犯了错

you're right there to make me feel even worse about it

你就在旁边数落我让我感觉更难受

That is not true

才不是

Yeah we could've waited till Monday signed the papers

我们本可以等到周一再签文件

this all would have been over

这事就算过去了

You're the one who invited him here

是你把他叫过来的

Oh there you go again

你又来了

just another mistake you're throwing in my face

又开始当着我的面数落我的错误

Not cool bro

这可不好兄弟

I'm starting to think

我开始觉得

you're not the kind of guy I want dating my wife

我不想我老婆跟你这种人约会

Yeah well

好吧

she's not gonna be your wife for long

她做你老婆的时间不会很久了

Oh no Are you dying

不是吧你快死了吗

I'm about to Sign the paper

快了快签字吧

Know what they say "Happy wife

常言说得好老婆开心

happy life "

日子舒心

Let's eat

开吃吧

Two three eight four six

二三八四六

3 14159 26535 89793 23846

谢尔顿已经背到π的小数点后第20位

That's all I can do without throwing up

再说就要吐了

That is not what I expected

我可没料到

when you said you were gonna burp "Pie "

你说打嗝说出π[馅饼]是这个意思

Did somebody say "Pie"

刚有人说"馅饼"吗

I don't know what's scarier

我不知道哪种更吓人

the bathroom clowns

厕所小丑

or the woman that put them there

还是把小丑放进去的女人

All I know is you can only fit one of her in a car

我只知道车上只能放下一个她

And there's the clown that came out of her

那是从她身体里蹦出来的小丑

I really didn't want to come here

我之前真的不想来

but this is shaping up to be

但看来这次感恩节

one of the best Thanksgivings I've had in a long time

是我多年以来过得最开心的一次

Me too

我也是

Hey Howie says you've been making fun of him all day

喂华仔说你们一整天都在取笑他

Now both of you apologize right now

现在你们两个马上道歉

She's so tiny

她个子好小啊

It's funny when she's mad

她生气的样子好好笑

All right mister

小伙子

I think you owe Howard and Bernadette an apology

我想你应该向霍华德和伯纳黛特道歉

Perhaps you're right

也许你是对的

I'm sorry for my behavior

我为我的行为道歉

I've had alcohol and it's caused me to be inappropriate

我摄入了酒精导致我行为不当

It's okay Don't worry about it

-没事 -没关系

Thank you

谢谢

Ain't she great

她是不是好贤惠

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Now how's about you get us a couple of beers

快去给老爷们儿拿啤酒吧

Thanks again for cooking

再次感谢你下厨

Yeah everything was delicious

所有菜都超级好吃

Well I couldn't have done it without my two favorite girls

没我最喜欢的两个女生帮忙我也做不到啊

Martha Stewart and Rachael Ray

玛莎·斯图尔特和瑞秋·雷[厨艺天后]

Hey Sheldon what do you say we go outside

谢尔顿我们出去

and throw around the old pigskin

玩下橄榄球如何[猪皮]

This is a Jewish house

这家是犹太人

犹太人不吃猪肉

I don't think they have pigskin

我想他们没猪皮

Did someone say pigskin

刚有人说"猪皮"吗

Hey honey I'm sorry about today

亲爱的今天的事很抱歉

And I promise next time I get married

我保证下次结婚

it won't be a joke

绝对不会是闹着玩

It'll be for love

一定是为了爱

Or money

或是钱

I'm sorry too

我也抱歉

Don't be

别这样

It's my fault

都是我的错

I was a terrible husband

我是个糟糕的老公

I was never around

从未陪在老婆身边

I know I'm hard on you

我知道我对你太严厉了

but you're not the worst son in law in the world

但你不是世界上最差劲的女婿

Mike that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me

迈克这是你对我说过的最贴心的话

Well I'm drunk

我喝醉了

I just vomited on a lot of clowns

我刚刚吐在了很多小丑身上