生活大爆炸-S03E23_生活大爆炸

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第三季第二十三集 [本季完]

生活大爆炸

Ok we've got the power to the laser

搞定激光接上电源了

I should've brought an umbrella

我应该带把伞来的

What for It's not gonna rain

作甚啊又不会下雨

I know that

我知道

But with skin as fair as mine moon burn is real possibility

但我如此白嫩的肌肤还是有可能被月光灼伤的

That's a "Bazinga " Right

这是个"逗你玩儿" 对吧

One of my best don't you think

我的巅峰之作你觉得呢

Howard do you want to double check the equatorial mount on the laser

霍华德你要不要再检查一下激光上的赤道仪装置

We need it locked onto the Sea of Tranquility

我们得把它锁定到"宁静之海"上 [月面某部名称]

You got it

没问题

Oh Raj no

天拉杰别这样

Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet

人们花了无数美元发明了英特网

and filling it with pictures of naked women

并在上面发了无数艳照

so we don't have to peep through windows

就是为了让我们不需要通过窗户来偷窥啊

It's not like that

我才没有呢

I'm watching someone's TV

我只不过在看别人的电视而已

The Good Wife is on

正在播《傲骨贤妻》呢

I tell you this is my new Grey's Anatomy

告诉你这就是我的新《实习医生格蕾》

Leonard Leonard

莱纳德莱纳德

What is that What is that

那是啥那是啥

Relax it's just a dirty sock

别紧张不就是只脏袜子嘛

How on earth can you say

你怎么可以如此淡定的把

"Dirty sock" And "Relax" In the same sentence

"脏袜子"和"别紧张"放在同一句话里

Sheldon the world is filled with dirty discarded socks

谢尔顿这个世界上到处都有被遗弃的脏袜子

Not my world

我的世界可没有

Hey you know who'd really dig seeing this experiment Penny

嘿你们知道谁会非常想看这个实验吗佩妮

I wasn't aware that lunar ranging was her thing

我怎么不知道她喜欢月面搜索呢

Although I suppose the retro reflector left on the moon

尽管我可以确定尼尔·阿姆斯特朗留在月球上的

by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object

回复反射器的确符合了亮晶晶的标准

Why don't you ask her to come up

那你怎么不叫她上来

I don't know it's still a little weird since you know

不知道自从那之后就有点怪怪的

She dumped you She didn't dump me

-她甩了你吗 -她没有甩了我

We were just in different places in the relationship

我们只不过在这段关系中处在不同方位罢了

I fail to see how a relationship

我不明白为什么一段情缘

can have the qualities of a geographic location

还能有地理位置的特性

Oh it's very simple

唔这很简单

Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me"

莱纳德住在一个叫做"请别离开"的小镇里

while Penny had just moved to the island of "Buh bye "

而佩妮则刚搬到了一个叫"拜拜"的小岛上

Screw you guys

去你丫的

I'm gonna go see if she's home

我去看看她在不在家

If it's not too much trouble

如果方便的话

I'd like to point this at the moon now

我想把望远镜瞄准月球了

Wait a second

且慢

The good wife is crying

好老婆正哭呢

Something's very wrong

出大问题了

Oh hi What's going on

嘿怎么了

We're up on the roof bouncing laser beams off the moon

我们在屋顶上尝试从月球将激光射回来呢

I'm sorry what

抱歉什么

It's pretty cool

很酷的哦

We've got a two meter parabolic reflector and everything

我们准备了直径两米的反射器和其他仪器

I thought you might want to see it

我觉得你可能会想来看看

That makes no sense

这完全说不通啊

How can you bounce stuff off the moon

你怎么可能从月球上弹射东西

There's no gravity

那儿可没有重力

Uh Leonard

呃莱纳德

This is Zack Zack Leonard Hey

-这是扎克扎克这是莱纳德 -嘿

Oh sorry I didn't know you were busy Maybe another time

抱歉我不知道你们正忙呢或许下次吧

Yeah maybe

嗯或许吧

Hey I want to see this laser thing

嗨我想看看这个激光

Oh but what about the party

但那个派对怎么办

It's a surprise party doesn't matter when we get there

只不过是个惊喜派对而已什么时候到完全没所谓

Right

那倒是

Okay well yeah come on up

那好吧上来吧

So how'd you guys meet

你们是如何认识的呢

My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory

我的公司为芝士工厂设计菜单

Your company

你的公司

Well my dad But me and my sister are VPs

事实上是我爸的但我和我妹妹是副总

So menus

呃菜单啊

I know it sounds easy but there's a lot of science that goes into designing them

听起来貌似简单但在设计当中是包含了不少科学知识的

Happy now I'm moving the dirty sock

开心了吧我把脏袜子丢开了

Thank you

谢谢

Raj keep an eye out for the other one

拉杰时刻注意另外一只

Hey guys this is my friend Zack

各位这是我朋友扎克

Hello Zack Whoa

-你好扎克 -哇哦

Is that the laser

这就是那激光吗

It's bitchin'

太他妈帅了

Yes

没错

In 1917 when Albert Einstein established

1917年当爱因斯坦在他的文章

the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper

《关于辐射的量子理论中》阐述了

"Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung " His fondest hope

激光的理论基础时他最诚挚的希望

was that the resultant device be bitchin'

就是最终的仪器要很他妈的帅

Well mission accomplished

唔那任务达成了

Let me explain what we're doing here

让我来解释一下我们在做什么

Um in 1969 the astronauts on Apollo 11

1969年阿波罗11号上的宇航员

positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon and we're going to shoot a laser off

在月面安置了数个反射器而我们则要发射激光

one of them and let the light bounce back into this photomultiplier

到其中的一个上面并反射回来到这个光电倍增器上

Oh That's very cool

哇那很酷啊

One question

只有一个问题

How can you be sure it won't blow up

你怎么确定它不会爆炸

The laser

激光吗

The moon

月球

See now this is a man for Penny

看这才是配得上佩妮的男人

That's a great question Zack

问得好扎克

No it's not

才不是呢

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Play nice

要友好

It's not a great question

问得不好

How could somebody possibly think we're going to blow up the moon

怎么能有人觉得我们会炸掉月球

That's a great question

这才叫问得好

Don't worry about the moon

不用担心月球

We We set our laser to stun

我们把激光调弱了

Smart

聪明

Now we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves

发射时我们能看到光束

but it won't be strong enough when it comes back

但返回时的光束减弱

to be seen by the naked eye

裸眼看不到

Naked

裸

Right Uh funny

是很搞笑

Uh that device there will measure the photons that return

那个装置能测量返回的光子

and let us see it on this computer

我们能在电脑上看到

Raj get them some glasses

拉杰给他们眼镜

Cool it's gonna be in 3 D

酷还有三维效果

Preparing to fire laser at the moon

准备向月球发射激光

Make it so

开始吧

There it is There's the spike

有了看到峰值了

2 5 seconds for the light to return

返回时间2.5秒

That's the moon We hit the moon

是月球我们击中月球了

That's your big experiment

这就是你们的大实验

All that for a line on the screen

搞这么多就为了屏幕上的一条线

Yeah but uh think about what this represents

话虽如此想想这代表着什么

The fact that we can do this is the only way

我们的实验是唯一

of definitively proving that there are man made objectson the moon

能证明月球上有人造物体的实验

put there by a member of a species

这个物体是60年前刚发明飞机的

that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane

种族中一员放上去的

What species is that

那是什么种族啊

I was wrong

我错了

Penny can do better

佩妮能找更好的

Okay guys thank you it's been fun Yeah thanks

-好了谢谢各位很有意思 -谢谢

Should we invite them to the party No just keep walking

-能请他们参加派对吗 -不行只管走

He must be very skilled at coitus

他肯定交媾技能很强

I'm telling you dude the only way

告诉你唯一能让你

to feel better about Penny going out with other guys

接受佩妮结交新欢的办法

is for you to get back on the whores

就是再奸再厉

Horse

接

What

什么

The phrase is "Get back on the horse "

那个词是"再接再厉"

not "Whores "

不是"奸"

That's disgusting dude

老兄你真恶心

No it's not

不是

Never mind

算了

He is right though

不过他说得对

If you want I can turn you on to this great new

你愿意的话我可以给你介绍

dating site I found No thanks

-我找到的新交友网 -不了谢谢

You sure They say they can find a match for anybody

你确定上面说能给任何人牵红线

Have they found a match for you

他们给你牵了吗

Tons I've had like eight dates in the last month

多着呢上个月就有八个呢

And 12 if you count the ones who showed up and left

如果算上见我就闪的有12个呢

I can't bring the nitrogen tank down

我无法搬氮气罐下来

Why not All right let me restate that

-为什么 -我重申一遍

It's very heavy and I don't want to

它很重我不想搬

I'll help you

我去搬吧

Thank you

谢谢

Lift with your knees not your back

用膝盖别用背

Good night

晚安

You know what would be fun

知道什么才好玩吗

Signing Sheldon up for online dating

帮谢尔顿申请网上交友

Yeah right

算了吧

No think about it

不想一想

We make it an experiment

我们当实验做

Like when Frankenstein's monster

就像寂寞的科学怪人

was lonely and he found a wife

找了个老婆

He didn't find a wife

他没有找老婆

They built him a wife out of dead body parts

而是用死尸器官造了个老婆

Okay we'll call that plan B

那可以作为后备计划

Coming

来了

Damn you you rat bastard

你个该死的混蛋

Are you drunk

你醉啦

Zack was a perfectly nice guy and then you ruined him

扎克是个绝好男友你把他毁了

How did I ruin him

我怎么把他毁了

'Cause in the olden days i never would've known he was so stupid

因为以前我绝不会觉得他蠢

Come on he wasn't that stupid

拜托他没那么蠢

Yes he was He thought you were gonna blow up the moon

不他够蠢了他觉得你们会炸掉月球

Okay yeah he's stupid

对他确实很蠢

He spent the entire night bragging

他一整晚都在吹嘘

about how he invented the word "Appe teasers "

自己怎么造出"阑胃菜"这个词

How is that my fault

这不是我的错吧

You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots

你毁了我容忍傻逼的能力

Now come with me

现在跟我走

Wh Where are we going

去哪

We're gonna have sex

我们去做爱

Why I mean okay

为啥不过我没意见

What's going on

怎么回事

Put on your noise canceling headphones

把你的降噪耳机戴上

'cause it's gonna get loud

这边会很吵的

Oh Not this again

怎么又来了

In what universe is this low pulp

这怎么可能是少果肉呢

Good morning Penny

早啊佩妮

What do you have eyes in the back of your head

你后脑勺长眼睛了吗

When one gets beaten up every other day in school

隔天就在学校挨揍的某人

one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing

必然会进化出更敏锐的听觉

Incidentally one can get beaten up in school

而且在学校挨揍的某人

simply by referring to oneself as "One "

通常都把自己称为"某人"

I'm making English muffins

我准备做英式松饼

Would you like an English muffin

你想吃吗

Oh thanks I'm not hungry FYI

-不了我不饿 -另外

my noise canceling headphones proved ineffective last night

昨晚证明我的降噪耳机无效

Yeah sorry about that

不好意思

As a native Texan I must say I've never heard the phrase "Yee haw"

作为本土德州人我得说"驾"这个词

used in quite that context

在交媾中很少用到

Oh God

天呐

"Oh God "

天呐

That I've heard on multiple occasions

这个我倒是听过很多次

In what universe is that lightly toasted

这算哪门子"微"烤

This has to be the worst day of my life

今天真是我一生之中最扯淡的一天

Good morning Leonard

早啊莱纳德

How many times have I asked you not to do that

我告诉过你多少次了不要那么做

Counting this instance 317

算上这次吗 317次

Where's Penny

佩妮呢

She returned to her apartment

她回她家去了

I presume to shower and vomit

我猜应该是去洗澡加呕吐了

Not necessarily in that order

顺序不一定是按这个

I wonder why she didn't say good bye

她为啥都没道别一下呢

Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior

你是在叫我解释一下人类行为吗

I know I just thought as an outsider

难为你了我只是觉得

you might be able to provide a fresh perspective

当局者迷旁观者清嘛

I have no difficulty believing you're not butter

我相信你个小东西绝对不是黄油

Oh hey Oh hi

-嘿 -嗨

Um I gotta run Early shift

我得赶紧走了早班

Okay I'll walk down with you

好啊我和你一起下楼

So last night was fun huh

昨晚挺有意思的对吧

Yeah it must have been

那必须的

I just threw up in my closet

我刚吐在我壁橱里了

Bummer

杯具啊

Anyway I was thinking tonight maybe we could catch a movie

我在想啊咱俩今晚去看场电影如何

Oh yeah tonight's not great for me

今晚我不太方便

Doesn't have to be tonight

不一定是今天晚上

I'm free pretty much always

我差不多啥时候都有空

Leonard last night was a mistake

莱纳德昨晚那件事是个错误

When you say "Mistake " Do you mean a fortunate mistake

你说"错误" 是塞翁失马那种吗

like the discovery of penicillin

就比如发现青霉素

Look I'm sorry

我很抱歉

I was drunk I was lonely I hated Zack

我喝高了很寂寞我讨厌扎克

Can we just forget it ever happened

咱俩就当没发生过好吗

No it's pretty well imprinted on my brain

不行整件事几乎已经刻在我脑子里了

Especially the whole rodeo thing

特别是骑术表演那部分

Oh God

老天

So that's it

就这样啊

Wham bam thank you Leonard

提上裤子就不认人啦

Look I said I'm sorry Can't you please let it go

我都道歉了你就别纠结这事儿了行吗

How am I supposed to let it go

你说的倒轻松啊

You used me for sex

你居然把我当泄欲对象

Morning Mrs Gunderson

早安冈德森太太

Good morning Leonard

早啊莱纳德

Or should I say "Yee haw"

或者我该说 "驾"

Holy crap What

-我靠 -怎么了

We finally have proof that aliens walk among us

我们终于证实了人类之中藏有外星人

Excuse me

你说啥

The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon

这个约会网站找到了个适合谢尔顿的女人

You're kidding

不可能吧

An actual woman

一个实实在在的女人

Yeah look Breasts and everything

你看胸部该有的都有

Trust me breasts doesn't necessarily mean woman

相信我有胸的不一定就是女人

Since when I'll show you a picture

-啥时候有这么一说 -我回头给你看张

of my Uncle Louie in a bathing suit sometime

我路易叔叔穿泳装的照片

Leonard you gotta see this

莱纳德快来看啊

We found a match for Sheldon

我们居然找到适合谢尔顿的姑娘了

Great

很好

Maybe she can have sex with him and then walk out on him

说不定她会跟他上床然后第二天一早

the next morning without so much as a "How do you do "

连个招呼都不打就闪人

Do you know what he's talking about

你知道他说啥呢吗

Nope Why don't you ask him

不知道你问问呗

Leonard what are you talking about

莱纳德你说啥呢

I don't want to talk about it

我不想谈这个

That was a lousy suggestion

瞧你出的这馊主意

Whatever Right now

随便啦现在

Dr Sheldon Cooper has to send an e mail

谢尔顿·库珀博士要给他的真命天女

to his perfect match

发封邮件

"Greetings fellow life form "

"您好同类生物"

If she can do it I can do it If she can do it I can do it

她能做到那我也能她能做到那我也能

If she can do it I can do it

她能做到那我也能

I can't do it

我无能了

Hello Oh hi Hey

-谁啊 -你好

Hi Leslie

你好啊莱斯利

Leonard Hofstadter What're you doing here

莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德有何贵干

Uh I know It's been a while

是啊咱俩好久没见了

Yeah 18 months

对啊 18个月

Right Right

是啊是啊

So how you doing

你怎么样啊

Fine You

挺好的你呢

Uh not bad

不错

You remember when we used to have sex

你还记得之前咱俩上床

and you said that it didn't mean anything it was just for fun

你说这事儿没什么实际意义只是为了娱乐

Yeah

是啊

You uh want to do that again

你想再来一次吗

What happened Blondie dumped you

怎么了金发美女把你甩了

She didn't dump me

不是她甩我

We were just in different places in the relationship

我俩处在一段关系里的不同位置

Right

是嘛

Um anyway apparently

随便了显然呢

it's okay to go back to people you're no longer seeing

找个好久不见的人然后俩人

and have recreational sex with them

娱乐性地打一炮也没啥不好的吧

So what do you say

你觉得如何

Let me think about it

我考虑下哈

She's not coming back

她不会再开门了

She wants to meet us

她想见我们

Not us Him

不是我们是他

Yes but him doesn't even know about her

是啊可是他根本不认识她

Well him about to find out about her

哎呀他会认识她的

Really Us gonna tell him

真的吗我们要告诉他吗

Who's going to tell whom about what

谁要告诉谁什么

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Hey Hi

嗨

Your surprise confuses me

你们这么惊讶让我很困惑

I live here

我住在这儿

Right

是啊

So listen what are you doing tomorrow afternoon

那个啥明天下午你什么安排

Be more specific

说的具体点

4 30

四点半

That's not afternoon

那不是下午

That's preevning

那是下午晚

What

什么

It's a time of day I invented

是我发明的描述时间方式

It better defines the ambiguous period

更好地定义了个模棱两可的时段

between afternoon and evening preevning

下午和晚上之间就是傍晚

I'm fairly certain it will catch on as it fills a desperate need

我确信因为急需精确描述这词定会广为流传

Right okay

好吧

What are you doing tomorrow preevning

那你明天傍晚准备做什么

Well tomorrow's Saturday

明天是周六

Saturday night is laundry night

周六晚是洗衣夜

So I'll be spending the preevning pre sorting

所以傍晚我会用来预分选衣物

and pre soaking

并预浸湿

Okay what if I were to tell you tomorrow at 4 30

如果我告诉你明天4点半

you could meet a woman

你将遇到

who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate

科学挑选出来的你的完美伴侣呢

I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air

我会嘲讽地哼一声无奈地摊开双手

exhausted by your constant tomfoolery

疲于应付你们这种经常的无聊之举

But it's true

但这是真的

But we we put all your vital information into this dating site

我们把你所有重要信息上传到了交友网站

answered all their questions just like you would

学着你的方式回答了他们所有问题

and they found a match for you Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler

他们找到了个跟你匹配的她叫艾米·菲拉·福勒

Please

拜托

Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would

即使你们学得像我的回答

the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum

这种红娘网站的算法本身就是胡扯的

And that's exactly the answer we gave to the question

他们问到这个问题的时候我们就是这么回答的

"What is your attitude towards online dating "

你对在线交友持何态度

Howard wanted to write "Mumbo jumbo " But I said no

霍华德想回答"毫无意义" 但我认为不是

Our Sheldon would say "Hokum "

咱谢尔顿会回答"胡扯"

Come on where's your scientific curiosity

拜托你的科学好奇心呢

Well most of it is being applied to unraveling the secrets of the universe

大部分都用来探索宇宙的秘密了

while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you

剩下的则用来思考我为何要跟你们聊这个了

Okay how about this

好吧这么说吧

Even Spock had a date once every seven years

即使史波克每七年也会约会一次的

He didn't date

他那不是约会

It was Pon Farr

那是发情期到了

His blood boiled with mating lust

他因压抑的性欲而热血沸腾

Well why why don't you start with a cup of coffee

那你何不先喝上杯咖啡

and you can Pon Farr Amy Farrah Fowler later

晚点就可以跟艾米·菲拉·福勒发发情了

I don't drink coffee

我不喝咖啡的

All right you can have a hot chocolate

好吧那就喝杯热巧克力

As I will not be engaging in this nonsense my choice of beverage is moot

反正我不会去做这种无聊事选什么饮料无关紧要

But for the record

但我正式说明下

(每年九月至次年四月月份英文中都带有R字母)

I only drink hot chocolate in months with an "R" In them

我只在月份中带有R字母那月才喝热巧克力

Why

为什么

What's life without whimsy

不为无益之事何以遣有涯之生

Okay I'm out

好吧我没辙了

Sheldon I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof

谢尔顿我把屋顶拿来的一只脏袜子

somewhere in your apartment

藏在你们公寓里了

Unless you are willing to come with us to meet this girl

除非你愿意跟我们去见那女孩

it will remain there forever

不然它会永远藏在那

You're bluffing

你只是在吓唬我

Are you willing to risk it

你真愿意冒这个险吗

Curse you

诅咒你

30 feet

30英尺

Oh Hey Leonard

你好莱纳德

I was a perfectly happy geeky little lonely guy

我本是个完美的小个子剩男快乐又书呆

and you ruined me

是你毁了我

Are you drunk

你喝醉了吗

Come on We're gonna have sex and it's not gonna mean a thing

拜托我们上床吧反正也是没有意义的

Are you out of your mind

你疯了吗

I'm really starting to think there's a double standard here

我真的开始认为这是双重标准了

In a few minutes

几分钟后

when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise

等我幸灾乐祸地冷眼旁观着本次相亲的失败

how would you prefer I do it

你们更愿意我怎么做

The standard "I told you so"

是标准答案我早说过会这样

The classic "Neener neener"

还是经典的"哦也哦也"[表嘲讽]

Or just my normal look of haughty derision

还是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情

You don't know we're wrong yet

现在还不能断定我们错了

Haughty derision it is

还是高傲嘲弄表情吧

Excuse me

打扰下

I'm Amy Farrah Fowler You're Sheldon Cooper

我是艾米·菲拉·福勒你是谢尔顿·库珀

Hello Amy Farrah Fowler

你好艾米·菲拉·福勒

I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in

我很遗憾地告诉你你上当了

by unsupportable mathematics

被设计用来欺骗

designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely

很傻很天真剩男剩女的无知算法骗了

Additionally I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock

此外我是被一只藏起来的脏袜子勒索了才来的

If that was slang I'm unfamiliar with it

那是俚语的话我从没听说过

If it was literal I share your aversion to soiled hosiery

要是字面意义的话我跟你一样讨厌脏袜子

In any case I'm here because my mother and I have agreed

无论如何我来这是因为答应了我妈

that I will date at least once a year

每年至少约会一次

Interesting

有意思

My mother and I have the same agreement about church

我跟我妈在关于上教堂这点上有过同样对话

I don't object to the concept of a deity

我并不反对神的概念

but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance

但实在不理解上教堂还得点名

Well then you might want to avoid East Texas

那你应该不会想去德州东部

Noted

记住了

Now before this goes any further

相亲继续进行之前

you should know that all forms of physical contact

我先声明所有身体接触

up to and including coitus are off the table

包括但并不限于交媾均不予讨论

May I buy you a beverage

能请你喝杯饮料吗

Tepid water please

温水谢谢

Good God what have we done

天哪瞧瞧我们干了什么