生活大爆炸-S05E02_生活大爆炸

S01

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What are you doing

你干嘛呢

Oh uh Priya's calling in a few minutes on Skype

普丽娅一会要跟我用Skype视频

and we are gonna have a dinner date

我们准备共进晚餐

It's 8 o'clock in the morning in Mumbai

现在是孟买时间早上八点

How can she have dinner

她怎么就吃起晚饭来了

Fine whatever

好吧随你怎么说

Priya will be having breakfast

那普丽娅就吃早餐好了

All right so technically it's not a dinner date

好吧所以严格来讲你们俩不是共进晚餐

I suppose you could call it a uh dinfast date

也许你勉强可以把这称为共进早晚餐

But if you did you'd open yourself

不过你要是真这么叫的话

to peer based mocking such as

你肯定会被别人笑死人家肯定会说

"Hey Leonard how was your dinfast with Priya last night "

莱纳德你昨晚跟普丽娅的早晚餐吃的好吗

That doesn't sound like mocking

听起来不像是在笑话我呀

You didn't let me finish

我还没说完呢

Dinfast

早晚餐

Are those soy based candles

那是大豆蜡的蜡烛吗

I don't know Why

不知道怎么了

Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens

石蜡蜡烛可能含有致癌物

Unless lung cancer is the ambiance

当然啦你要是想吃顿早晚餐

you were going for at your dinfast

还搭上肺癌的话我也不拦你

Dinfast

早晚餐

Listen I don't want to be rude

我不想无礼

but Priya's gonna be calling any minute so

可是普丽娅随时都会打来

Oh yes Priya

对哦普丽娅

Leonard you know I make a point of

莱纳德你知道我从来

never interfering in your personal affairs

都不干涉你的私事

Yes I've always admired that about you

没错我也一直很欣赏你这点

As well you should

那是当然

But I'm going to make an exception here

但是我这次要破例了

Oh good

又来了

Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career

普丽娅回印度去发展自己的法律事业

Instead of desperately trying

你与其花这些时间绝望地挣扎

to keep this intercontinental relationship alive

费劲心思地保持这段跨洲恋情

you could use that time to take up a hobby

你还不如找点别的兴趣爱好呢

A hobby

兴趣爱好

Yes

没错

I read recently about a fellow in Kansas

我最近得知堪萨斯州一个家伙

with an enormous ball of twine

拿麻绳团了一个巨大的球

I bet you could give him a run for his money

我认为你可以跟他一比高下

You know some people might say that it's great

你知道吗有些人可能会说

that we're trying to make things work long distance

我们俩保持这种异地恋是精神可嘉的事

They'd say things like

他们会说

"Love is stronger than the miles between you"

爱情不会被你们俩之间的距离所打败

When I rise to power those people will be sterilized

等有一天我掌权了我肯定会灭掉这帮人

You video chat with Amy all the time

你也整天跟艾米视频呀

How is this different

咱俩干的事有什么不同

Don't you like Amy

你不喜欢艾米吗

Of course I like Amy

我当然喜欢艾米啦

Well there's the difference

可我不喜欢普丽娅呀

Excuse me that's Priya

不好意思普丽娅打来了

Hi Leonard

莱纳德

Hey honey

亲爱的

I miss you

我好想你

Oh I miss you too

我也好想你

I miss the old days when your romantic partners

我怀念以前爱情伴侣们

could be returned to the video store

能退回录像店的日子

Thanks for letting me stay here

谢谢你让我待在这

while Leonard Skypes with his girlfriend

这样我就不用看着莱纳德跟他女朋友视频了

Oh it's no problem

小意思

It's actually kind of nice

这种感觉还挺不错的呢

You reading me reading

你在看书我也在看书

We're like an old married couple

咱俩就像一对老夫老妻似的

If we were an old married couple

咱俩要真是老夫老妻的话

the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles

妻子这个时候就会端上冻柠茶和曲奇饼了

I don't have iced tea and snickerdoodles

我家没有冻柠茶和曲奇饼

A good wife would go to the store

尽职的妻子就会去商店买

I want a divorce

我要离婚

Good On the way to see the lawyer

很好你去找律师的路上

pick up some tea and cookies

别忘了买点冻柠茶和曲奇饼

I must say I am enjoying your new chair

我还真得说我挺喜欢你这张新椅子的

It's great isn't it

舒服吧

It is

没错

Aligns the lumbar

符合腰椎曲线

cradles the coccyx balances the buttocks

支撑住了尾骨还平衡了臀部

This is a chair worthy of the name

这椅子还真对得起它的名字

What name

什么名字

Chair

椅子呀

Oh all right well I'm glad you like it

好吧你喜欢就好

I mean I still can't get over the fact

我还是想不通

someone just threw it away

怎么有人就忍心把它给扔了呢

What

你说什么

Yeah it was just sitting on the street

就是说呀这椅子就被丢在路上

I paid a homeless guy ten bucks to help me get it up here

我给了个流浪汉十块钱让他帮我把这张椅子搬上来的

Oh dear Oh dear

哦天呐哦天呐

What is wrong

你怎么啦

I've been sitting in garbage

我刚坐在垃圾上了

Sheldon take it easy

谢尔顿淡定嘛

You take it easy I need to use your shower

你去淡定吧我得去趟浴室

I went into this marriage with so much hope

我当年结婚的时候还是太过乐观了

There's a wet Band Aid on the shower floor

浴室地板上有张湿创口贴

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第二集

This is fun

真有意思

I've never used a hydraulic thermoforming press before

我还从来没用过热成型液压机呢

Pretty sweet huh

很赞吧

This little baby set the university back 175 grand

这个小玩意儿花了学校十七万五千刀

That's three minutes

三分钟到了

Shall we see what we got Hang on

-让我们看看成果如何 -马上好

Oh yeah

哦也

This is one good looking panini

这真是个有型的三明治

Hand me the tuna melt

把金枪鱼三明治给我

Yep Thank you

-给 -多谢

How's it going with the long distance love affair

你那跨国异地恋怎么样啦

Not easy but we're making it work

不容易啊但我俩正在努力

When you say "Making it work " does that include doing the cyber nasty

你这句"正在努力"包不包括玩些线上耍流氓啊

What

什么

You know the virtual pickle tickle

你懂的就是虚拟的很黄很暴力的那种啊

The digital bow chicka bow bow

数字化的嘿嘿咻咻

Come on dude This is my sister you're talking about

拜托伙计你在说我妹啊

Hey Leonard jiggling his junk at her

喂对你来说

through a webcam has got to be easier for you to deal with

莱纳德在摄像头里对着她抖那货

than him actually touching her with it

总要好过他当着她的面拿那货戳她吧

There's no junk jiggling

我没那么猥琐

We just talk

我们就是聊天而已

Are you sane

你疯了吧

With high speed Internet you have at your fingertips

有了高速互联网你的指尖下

注: 小手帕是撸sir之友

the greatest advancement in the field of sex

就是继小手帕之后性爱领域的

since the invention of the washcloth

最伟大的进步啊

I can't do that

我不能那么做

Well if you don't

好吧你要是不这么做

you're gonna lose Priya to some fancy guy in a turban

你就是把普丽娅拱手让给某个

who grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books

从小看《印度爱经》插图版长大的头巾男了

How can you be so racist

你怎么能这么种族歧视呢

Oh come on tell me I'm wrong

拜托我哪句说错了

Oh Leonard good

莱纳德很好

There you are

找到你了

I need you to check my head for chair lice

我需要你来检查我头上有没有虱子

I did it last night I'm not doing it again

我昨晚查过了我不能再犯傻了

Just his head right

没检查别的地儿对吧

I don't want to talk about it

我不想聊这事儿

You didn't catch bugs from Penny's chair

佩妮椅子上的虫子没跑到你身上

Yes I did

不对有虫子

And now they're cavorting at the base of my hair follicles

现在它们在我的发根毛囊里欢呼雀跃

like dancing hippies at the Redwood National Forest

就像在红木国家森林公园里跳舞

Sheldon you do this all the time

谢尔顿你老是这样

You fixate on some crazy idea

你总是纠结于某个傻乎乎的想法

and then blow it way out of proportion

然后无限制地放大

Name one time I've ever done that

请举一个例子

How about when you put GPS trackers in your garbage

比如上次你把GPS追踪器放进垃圾桶里

because you were convinced North Korean spies

就因为你坚信朝鲜间谍

were stealing your doodles

在偷你的草稿纸

The chicken nuggets you were sure were human nuggets

还有你坚信是人肉做的鸡块

The strangely shaped cloud that was following you around town

还有那朵奇形怪状的在城里老跟踪你的云

The time you put on my shirt by mistake

还有那次你错穿了我的T恤

and were convinced you'd started growing again

还以为自己又开始长个儿了

I said "Name one "

我说的是 "举一个例子"

You really need to work on your listening skills

你的听力真得练练了

Penny

佩妮

Penny Penny

佩妮佩妮

Yello

乃好[你好]

You need to remove that chair from the building

你得把那个椅子从楼里搬出去

It's a health hazard

它是个卫生隐患

Okay relax I took off the slipcovers

好吧淡定吧我把家具套给拆下来

had them dry cleaned and then fumigated the cushions

送去干洗了坐垫也熏蒸消毒了

Really

真的吗

Yeah It's cleaner than my couch

必须的它现在比我的沙发还干净

Found half a Hot Pocket in there

我还在里面找到了半个鸡蛋灌饼呢

It certainly looks okay

看起来还不错

Has a strong toxic chemical smell

有一股强烈的有毒化学药剂味

That's reassuring

真让人安心啊

Why don't you give it a try Sheldon

坐上去试试呗谢尔顿

All right

好吧

It is a comfortable chair

这椅子挺舒服

Why don't you just admit you overreacted

你为啥不承认你之前反应过激了呢

No thank you

不必了多谢

It's like living with a Chihuahua

简直像跟个吉娃娃一起住一样

Penny Penny Penny

佩妮佩妮佩妮

What's up buttercup

有事吗小毛孩

You have to get rid of the chair

你必须把那椅子扔了

Nope

不

Penny Penny Penny

佩妮佩妮佩妮

What's the word hummingbird

想叽歪啥呀小蜂鸟

For your safety please wait in my apartment

为你安全考量请到我们那等着

as I call the authorities so they may remove the chair of death

让我报警请他们搬走这死亡之椅

不要

Penny Penny Penny

佩妮佩妮佩妮

What's the gist physicist

有何指示小物理学家

Under my authority as a self appointed member

作为本街道疾控中心

of the Centers for Disease Control street team

自封的一员我宣布

these premises are condemned

此房屋应报废

As a man with a keen sense of style

作为有着敏锐时尚感的达人

I must tell you that chair does not work with the room

我必须说那椅子跟你家一点都不配

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

Penny

佩妮

So here we are

好了

Back in bed together

我们一起回房上床了

Yep here we are

是的一起上床了

Okay so I I guess I'll just jump right in

好了那我来直入主题吧

All right

好的

Uh you're a naughty girl

呃你是个淘气的坏女孩

And And uh I I want to punish you with my love

我我要要用爱来鞭挞你

What

搞毛啊

Not good

不好吗

That's terrible Try again

太可怕了再来

Okay

好的

Uh uh you're not naughty

你...你一点都不淘气

Uh you're you're you're dirty

你你是下流

You're

你是...

You're a a dirty girl

你是下流的坏女孩

Oh yes

对

Yes I am

对下流之极

Yeah yeah Uh okay

好好我摸懂门道了

You're a you're a

你你是个...

You're a a dirty

你是一个一个下流

disgusting

淫秽

revolting girl

叛逆的女孩

God Leonard stop talking

天啊莱纳德求你闭嘴吧

Why don't you just give me five minutes

不然等我五分钟先

I'll Google how to do this I'll call you right back

我谷歌一下流程马上打回给你

Shh shh shh Just be quiet and do what I tell you

嘘嘘嘘你闭嘴听我命令行事

Okay like usual Good

好吧一如既往真好

Take off your shirt

脱掉上衣

All rightie Shirt coming off

好的脱掉我的小上衣

Ta da Man nipples

哇啦男士小咪咪哦

I said be quiet Yes ma'am

-我说了闭嘴 -是长官

Now take off your shorts

现在脱掉你的短裤

Taking shorts off

小裤衩脱掉

There we go

好了

Naked naked naked

赤裸裸光溜溜滑嫩嫩

Wonderful

好极了

Now I'll take off my clothes

现在轮到我脱了

Cool

酷

Here I am baby

你看宝贝

You miss these

你想它们了吗

Oh damn it

靠见鬼

Oh Leonard Already

哦莱纳德这就缴械了?!

No no No no no

不不不是这样的

The screen froze

我屏幕不动了

It's probably just buffering

可能还在缓冲

Just give it a second

你稍等等嘛

Fine

好吧

So how are your mom and dad

你父母还好吗

Yeah I really don't want to talk about my parents now

我现在真的不想谈论我父母

Yeah Sure sure

好的当然当然

If your video's frozen

如果你的视频卡住了

try resetting the TCP/IP stack

试着重新设置下TCP/IP堆栈

I didn't even think of that Thanks

我怎么没想到谢了

You're welcome Please let me know when

不客气但请一定通知一声

you and your girlfriend are done

等你和你的女友

hogging the bandwidth for your self abuse

不再占着带宽撸管

I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here

我打算要在Netflix上看部电影呢

Netflix:世界上最大的在线影片租赁提供商

Five six seven eight

五六七八

Tall and tan and young and lovely

高挑黝黑年轻可爱

The girl from Ipanema goes walking

来自依帕内玛的女孩翩翩而来

And when she passes each one she passes goes

当她走过时每个遇见的人都...

Amy Amy Amy

艾米艾米艾米

哦...

You are aware that your ritualistic knocking behavior is

你应该注意到你习惯的敲门行为

symptomatic of obsessive compulsive disorder

是一种强迫症紊乱的表象

Is not

这不是

Is not is not

不是不是

Denial Denial denial Come in

抵赖抵赖你就抵赖吧请进

Thank you

谢谢

Would you like to hear me play a bossa nova standard on the harp

你想听我用竖琴弹奏波萨诺伐舞曲吗

不想

How about the theme song

要不然我换首

to the classic television show Diff'rent Strokes

经典电视剧《Diff'rent冲程》的主题曲吧

Now the world don't move to the beat

如今的世界已经不再跟着节奏走...

不想

Well that's every song I know What's up

好吧我就会这么几首了什么事

You're good friends with Penny right

你和佩妮是好朋友对吧

Best friends besties

好朋友闺蜜

BFFs peas in a pod

永远的好友亲如同胞姐妹

sisters who would share traveling pants

亲得可以穿一条裤子

Go on

你继续

I was hoping she might listen to you

我是希望她可以听听你的意见

about the dangers of owning unhygienic furniture

知道把不干净家具带回家的危险

For general educational purposes

你这是作为一般教育用途

or has she acquired a bar stool dipped in cholera

还是她顺了个浸在霍乱病毒中的酒吧凳回来

Cholera is water borne

霍乱是饮水传染的

You're mocking me Yes I am

-你这是在嘲笑我 -没错

Penny has dragged a chair in off the street

佩妮从大街上拿回了个椅子

whose unknown provenance jeopardizes the health and welfare

这种出处不详的椅子会危害我们楼里

of every resident in our building

每位住户的健康和幸福的

Sheldon just because you have a focus on

谢尔顿不能就因为你

cleanliness bordering on the psychotic

有神经病一样的洁癖

doesn't mean I have to participate

我也得被你拉下水吧

All right name your price

好吧你出个价

Kiss me where I've never been kissed before

亲我从未被人亲过的地方

You mean like Salt Lake City

你是说类似盐湖城的地方吗

Never mind I'll talk to Penny

算了我会跟佩妮说的

Thank you

谢谢

Will you listen to me play my harp now

那现在听我演奏竖琴好吗

No I dislike the sound of the harp

不要我不喜欢竖琴的声音

Its overuse in classic television sitcoms

竖琴在经典电视情景喜剧中的过度使用

always makes me think I'm going to

每每让我觉得

experience an episode from my past

我过去的噩梦又再度上演了

I'm sorry Mommy Don't be mad at me

对不起妈咪别生我的气

Don't do that

别弹了

I don't know about this Howard

我不懂的霍华德

What You're having trouble with the long distance lovemaking

什么你对远程做爱有障碍吗

This is your answer

这就是你的法宝

There are two interfaces that simulate a human mouth

上面有两个端口能刺激嘴部

You have one Priya has one in India

你这配一个在印度的普莉娅配一个

When you move your lips and tongue on yours

你只要移动你的嘴唇和舌头

it transmits exactly what you're doing to hers

就能传输信号感觉像是你真的在吻她

See Internet kissing

看见没网络亲吻

Give it a try

来试试

I don't think so

还是算了

I'll try it

我来试试

Like this

像这样吗

Almost Really get your tongue in there

差不多把你的舌头伸进去

to activate the motion sensor

激活感应器

Like this

像这样吗

Close Really French it

差不多了要法式舌吻

Better

好点了吗

Yeah you got it you got it

对就这样太正点了

I'm impressed This is very lifelike

我震精了这感觉太逼真了

Whoa You just bit my tongue

擦你居然咬我舌头

I I nibbled I was being playful

轻咬而已我只想多点情趣

Why do you have to make everything weird

你干嘛要把一切都搞得这么猥琐

Sorry

抱歉

Better

好点了吗

Oh yeah

正点

Pretty cool huh

很不错哈

Probably would cost like 200 bucks in a store

商店里买的话没准要两百块

I do appreciate a bargain

是很划算

This entire ensemble once belonged to my dead grandmother

我去世的奶奶以前有一套这种家具

You're kidding

不是吧

Everything except bra and panties

除了内衣内裤什么都分享了

维多利亚的秘密内衣品牌

And they're a leopard spotted secret I share with Victoria

这可是我和维多利亚之间的独家小秘密哟

And now me

而现在是和我了

I just have one question about the chair

对这沙发椅我只有一个问题

And what's that

什么

Aren't you worried about it being unhygienic

你就不担心这个不卫生吗

No it's completely fine

不完全没有...

Hmm I get it

我懂了

Sheldon sent you

是谢尔顿

He put you up to this

是他让你来找我

No he didn't Really

-不他没有 -真的吗

Yes he did He absolutely did

是的他有就是他

My God Amy that's really crappy of you

天啊艾米你太不够朋友了

It is

真的吗

Yeah Letting Sheldon use you to manipulate me

当然你让谢尔顿利用你来操控我

I thought you were my friend

我还以为我们是朋友

No I am your friend Please don't be mad at me

不我们是朋友请别生我气

I can't even believe this

我简直难以置信

You know maybe you should just go

你最好还是走吧

No No I'm sorry I'm so sorry

不对不起真的很对不起

I take it all back

我把刚才的话都收回

Look I'm uh I'm sitting in your chair

看我坐在你的沙发椅上

There's nothing wrong with it

完全没问题

It's a great chair

这椅子棒极了

Please let me continue to be part of your world

求你别把我踢出你的生活

What's wrong

怎么了

Something in the chair's biting my tushy

椅子里有什么东西在咬我的臀部

It's not important Ow

但这无所谓

Wait Get up get up

快站起来

Swear you won't tell Sheldon what happened

发誓你不会把这事告诉谢尔顿

I swear

我发誓

Can I tell my doctor I'm probably gonna need shots

我能告诉我医生吗我觉得我得去打针

Yeah sure

当然可以

Oh hey babe I think I figured this thing out

宝贝儿我觉得我已经懂了

Oh Leonard listen

莱纳德先听我说

No you listen

不你给我听好

You're my woman

你是我的妞

and I'm gonna make you feel things you have never felt before

我要给你前所未有的快感

Leonard

莱纳德

That's right say my name

就是这样用力叫出我的名字

and beg me for more 'cause

求我求我再快点

I'm gonna give it to you

我会努力让你达到巅峰

My parents are here

我父母在旁边

Hello Leonard

你好莱纳德

if I may also say your name

我也能咬牙切齿用力喊你的名字吗

Check it out Free chair

看呀从天而降的沙发椅

Yeah

可不是

Hey you know if this was in Sheldon and Leonard's apartment

要是谢尔顿和莱纳德的公寓里有个沙发椅

I wouldn't wind up sitting on the floor all the time

我就不用老是坐在地板上了

On three

来吗

Three Three

-一二三 -抬

What kind of idiot throws away

哪个二货舍得扔掉这么好的沙发椅哟