生活大爆炸-S02E08_生活大爆炸

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Oh look Saturn 3 is on

看啊开始放《土星3号》了

I don't want to watch Saturn 3

我不想看《土星3号》

Deep Space Nine is better

《深空9号》比这好多了

How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3

《深空9号》怎么可能比得过《土星三号》

Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better

你算一算就知道9比3大6

Compromise Watch Babylon 5

折衷一下吧看《巴比伦5号》

In what sense is that a compromise

你凭什么认为这是折衷的办法

Well five is partway between three Never mind

5是在3和... 当我没说

I'll tell you what

不如这样吧

How about we go rock paper scissors

我们石头剪刀布决定

Ooh I don't think so

我看这样不行

Anecdotal evidence suggests

大量的实例研究表明

that in the game of rock paper scissors

在石头剪刀布中

players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time

如果让互相熟悉的玩家进行一定局数的游戏

due to the limited number of outcomes

那么其中有百分之75到80是打平的

I suggest rock paper scissors lizard Spock

我推荐玩石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克[星际旅行3里的人物]

What

什么

It's very simple

非常简单的

Scissors cuts paper Paper covers rock

剪刀剪布布包石头

Rock crushes lizard

石头砸死蜥蜴

Lizard poisons Spock

蜥蜴毒死史波克

Spock smashes scissors Scissors decapitates lizard

史波克踩碎剪刀剪刀将蜥蜴斩首

Lizard eats paper Paper disproves Spock

蜥蜴吃掉纸[同义布] 论文[同义布]证明史波克不存在

Spock vaporizes rock

史波克把石头融化

And as it always has rock crushes scissors

最后和以前一样石头敲坏剪刀

Okay I think I got it

好我明白了

Rock paper scissors lizard Spock

石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克

Hello boys

孩子们好

Ahoy matey

这位兄台好

Noticed the eye patch did you

注意到我的眼罩了是吗

It's all part of a technique I've been studying

这是一个我最近正在研究的

for picking up women

勾搭女人的新技术

You employ a visual display

只需使用一个显示屏

designed to make yourself

就可以为你设计出一套

distinctive and memorable

与众不同夺人眼球的造型

Oh yes like the male peacock with brilliant plumage

是啊就像是雄孔雀那漂亮的羽毛

or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters

或者像发情的狒狒那饱满的臀部

Or in this case the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye

或者就像是得了红眼病的犹太小男孩

Mock me if you will but it works

随便你怎么笑我但这真招的很有用

You show up at a club in something distinctive

你可以穿着奇装异服进入一个派对

scope out your target and toss out some negs

搜索目标然后向她发起消极攻势

What are negs

什么是消极攻势

A neg is a negative compliment

消极攻势就是给她一些消极的评价

that throws a pretty woman off her game

好让她不要凌驾于你之上

like "Normally I'm not turned on by big teeth

举个例子一般我对大牙齿很没爱

but on you they work "

但在你嘴里就显得很可爱

I got a whole list of 'em Who wants to be my wingman

这样的台词我有一箩筐谁想做我的泡妞搭档

You're not gonna need wingman

你不需要搭档

You're gonna need a paramedic

我看你是需要去看病

Howard your scooter's blocking my car

霍华德你的小摩托挡住我的车了

Aw did you get pinkeye again

啊呀你又得红眼病了?

Step one she notices the eye patch

首先她注意到我的眼罩了

May I say Penny

恕我直言佩妮

not a lot of women could look as hot as you do

一般头发如此恶心的女人们

with such greasy hair

是没你这么漂亮的

Yeah just move your stupid scooter

快去把你那辆破摩托挪开

before I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster

否则我就去把它扔进垃圾箱

疼

I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch The Clone Wars TV series

不好意思在我还没看《克隆战争》这部电影之前

until I've seen The e Clone Wars movie

我是不会去看《克隆战争》的电视剧的

I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me

我想根据乔治·卢卡斯拍片的顺序

in the order he intended

来欣赏他的烂作

Well I want to watch it now

但我现在就想看这个

Then I believe we've arrived at another quintessential

那我认为我们又迎来了一个典型的

rock paper scissors lizard Spock moment

石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克游戏时刻

Watch whatever you want

随便你看什么

I saw what you did there

你有一套啊

What'd I do

怎么说

Hello Hey Howard

喂霍华德

What's wrong

怎么了

Okay Okay we'll be right there

好好我们马上就来

What happened

什么事

Howard's at the Mars Rover lab He says he's in trouble

霍华德说他在火星漫步者实验室碰到了点麻烦

Defcon 5

安全等级5

Defcon 5

安全等级5?

Well there's no need to rush

那就没必要这么急了

What

什么

Defcon 5 means "no danger "

等级5是和平时期的协议没危险

Defcon 1 is a crisis

等级1才是紧急情况

How can 5 not be worse than 1

5怎么可能没1差

Yeah Star Trek V worse than I

就是啊《星际旅行5》比1差

Okay first of all that's a comparison of quality

首先你比较的是质量

not intensity

而不是紧急程度

Secondly Star Trek I is orders of magnitude worse

第二《星际旅行1》和《星际旅行5》相比

than Star Trek V

简直就是老鼠比大象

Are you joking Star Trek V is the standard

你在开什么玩笑《星际旅行5》已经成为

against which all badness is measured

劣质品测量的标杆

No no

不不

Star Trek V has specific failures

《星际旅行5》差就差在

in writing and direction

编剧和导演

while Star Trek I fails across the board

而《星际旅行1》完全就是一无是处

art direction costuming music sound editing

艺术指导服装音乐音响效果

Can we just forget I said Defcon and go

就当我没说什么安全等级好吗我们快走

Star Trek V

《星际旅行5》

All right will you at least stipulate

至少你也应该承认

that Star Trek IV The Voyage Home is inarguably the best

《星际旅行4:抢救未来》毫无疑问是最好的吧

I have three words for you

我给你5个字

Wrath of Khan

《天汗的愤怒》[星际之旅2]

Oh thank God you're here

感谢上帝你们来了

What's the emergency

有什么急事

I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch

火星漫步者被卡在沟里了

Where

哪里

On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield

贝克斯菲尔德城外一条人迹罕至的公路

Where do you think On Mars

要不然还能在哪当然是火星!

Howard is everything okay

霍华德出什么事了

Yeah baby I'll be right in

宝贝我马上进去

You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room

你把一个姑娘带到火星探测器的控制室?

Yeah I picked her up in the bar She's a doctor

我在一个酒吧碰到她的她是个医生

One free barium enema

只要一剂免费的钡剂[灌肠用]

and my mother won't care she's not Jewish

我妈根本不会在乎她是不是犹太人

Wait a minute

等一下

So the eye patch and e insults worked

那么说眼罩及人格侮辱这招管用了?

No there were three other guys with eye patches

不那里还有三个人也带着眼罩

It was a fiasco

彻底的失败

What did work was "How'd you like to visit

管用的是这句话:

a secret government facility "

"愿不愿意去个秘密政府部门看看?"

So what exactly do you want us to do

那你要我们现在做什么呢

I need you and Raj to help me get the Rover out of the ditch

你和拉杰帮我把火星探测器从沟里拖出来

and I need you to get Stephanie out

而你要在任何人发现斯蒂芬妮之前

before somebody notices she's here

帮我把她带走

She doesn't exactly have clearance

实际上我偷偷带她进来的

Really They don't let strange women from honky tonks come in

真的么? 难道他们不让从下等酒馆来的

and play with $200 million government projects

陌生女人来玩在遥远星球上

on distant planets

2亿美金的政府项目么?

Yes I was bad Maybe she'll spank me

我知道我很坏她可能给我一巴掌

Can we please move on

我们能回到问题上来了么?

Hey Howard you know it's getting late

霍华德时间不早了

so do I get to drive this thing or what

我到底还开不开得上车?

Yeah No I'm sorry but something's come up

对不起出了点紧急情况

Kind of a Mars Rover Mars Rover

我是说火星漫步者火星漫步者

can Howard come over

呼叫霍华德

situation

的状况

So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home

我朋友莱纳德会带你回家的

Oh okay Let's go friend Leonard

走吧好朋友莱纳德

I'll call ya

回头打电话给你

Yeah So are you a scientist like Howard

你也是像霍华德一样的科学家么?

No one's a scientist like Howard

没有科学家像霍华德那样

My mother is so gonna love her

我妈肯定会很喜欢她

How nice Maybe they can carpool

多好啊没准她们可以一起搭车

when they visit you in federal prison

去联邦监狱看你

I'm sorry I totally interrupted you

对不起打断你的话了

What what what were you saying

啊? 我们刚才说到哪了?

Just said Howard's a terrific guy

说霍华德是个非常好的人

He's got a great sense of humor

他很有幽默感

He loves his mother

他很爱他的妈妈

a lot

非常

People say "too much "

大家都说爱得有点过了

I really like that you're such a loyal friend

你真是个忠实的好朋友

Yeah I am loyal

没错

You know if you look at the big picture

如果从全局来看的话

Out of curiosity

仅仅是出于好奇

did he ever have a shot with you

他有很吸引你么?

Are you insane

你疯了么

The guy was wearing an eye patch

他带着个眼罩

Then why did you

那你为什么...

He said that I cou drive a car on Mars

他说我可以在火星上开车

Got it

哦了

So can I see you again

我以后还能再见你吗

You're not gonna see me now

你这就见不到我了闭眼

Cool

不错

Anything

有什么发现么

Actually I was just checking my e mail

事实上我在查邮件

But uh no the Rover is not responding

不过漫步者没有消息返回

I believe the appropriate metaphor here

我有个很恰当的比喻

involves a river of excrement

一艘没有推进设备的

and a Native American water vessel

美国土著的轮船

without any means of propulsion

驶进了便便河

Hang on

拜托

There's got to be other options

肯定会有办法的

You could try calling Triple A

你可以给美国汽车协会打电话

But based on NASA's latest timetable

不过根据美国国家航空航天管理局最近的日程安排

they won't get there for 35 years

他们35年后才会到那

Plus I understand you have to be standing

而且他们到的时候

next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive

你必须在现场带着你的会员卡

Oh snap

惨咯

Snap what

按什么? [snap也有按钮的意思]

Okay I guess we have to turn to Plan B

好吧看来我们得进行B计划了

What's Plan B

什么是B计划

Erase all the hard drives scrap the surveillance tapes

格式化所有硬盘清除监控录像

wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run

擦掉我们留下的所有指纹后逃跑

Why wasn'that Plan A

为什么这不是A计划

A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data

美国国家航空航天管理局发言人指出由于数据的损失

they will most likely be unable to determine the cause of the Mars Rover's malfunction

他们可能无法找出火星漫步者发生故障的原因

This is not the first time an exploratory mission to Mars

人类对于火星的探索这种令人失望的结果

has ended in disappointment

已经不是第一次了

Thank God for Plan B

幸亏我们选了B计划

Howard didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover

霍华德你不是说过你在研究火星漫步者么

No you're mistaken

没有你搞错了

Yeah when we first met you said that if I went out with you

我第一次见你那天你说如果我和你约会

I could drive a car on Mars

我就能在火星上开车

I don't know what you're talking about

我不知道你在说什么

Will you all excuse me

大家不好意思

Leonard is subtly signaling

莱纳德正悄悄给我打手势

that he'd like to talk to me in private

示意我要和我私下谈谈

No Yeah I remember specifically

不会啊我记得很清楚

You started by asking if I was from Mars

你最开始问我是不是从火星来的

because my ass was out of this world

理由是我的屁股真的很翘

Well that does sound like me but no

是挺像我的风格不过不是

Is there some problem

有问题灭

Yeah

对

Listen I have to kinda sneak out for a while

我得出去一小会

All right good bye

好吧拜拜

No wait

等下

If anyone asks you where I went you don't know

如果有人问你我去哪了你就说不知道

Where ARE you going

你要去哪

I can't tell you that

我不能告诉你

Who would ask me

谁会问我

I can't tell you that either

那个我也不能说

So you brought me in here to inform me

你叫我进来通知我

that you can't tell me where you're going

你不能告诉我你去哪

and you can't tell me who might ask

也不能告诉我谁会问起你去哪儿

Yeah I really didn't think this through

是的是我考虑不周到

Leonard a moment

莱纳德等下

What

怎么了

If someone and of course we don't know who this would be

如有人...当然还不确定是谁

does ask where you've gone what should I say

问你去哪了我该怎么回答

I don't know Just tell 'em I went to the office

我不知道就说我去办公室了

Are you going to the office No

-你要去办公室 -不

Then how can I say it convincingly

那我怎么能理直气壮地说

Just say "Leonard went to the office "

就说"莱纳德去办公室了"

All right Leonard went to the office

好的莱纳德去办公室了

What is No not like that

那是... 不不是这样

Just "Leonard went to the office "

就说"莱纳德去办公室了"

This would have worked out a lot better

你要只告诉我你要去办公室

if you'd just told me you were going to the office

就好办多了

I'm going to the office

我要去办公室了

See Why don't I believe you

看到没为什么我不信你

I'm going out for a while

我要出去会

Okay

好的

Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going

没人想知道他去哪了吗

Okay where is he going

好的他去哪了

Leonard is going to the office

莱纳德去办公室了

So how was work today

今天工作如何

Busy

忙碌

I removed an appendix a gall bladder

切除了个阑尾胆囊

and about a foot and a half of bowel

还有一尺半的肠子

I'm hoping that's three different guys

希望是三个不同的老兄

No just the one

不是就一个人

He didn't make it

他没活下来

So how was your day

你今天过得怎么样

Oh you know I'm a physicist so

我是个物理学家所以...

I thought about stuff

我思考

That's it

就这些

Well I wrote some of it down

其中的一些我记下来了

Are you done eating

吃饱了吗

Uh yeah Oh good

-饱了 -很好

If I knew you were waiting

早知道你在等着

I would've swallowed that lasagna whole

面条不嚼我就咽了

You've reached Dr Stephanie Barnett

斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家

Leave a message

请留言

Hey Steph

斯蒂芬妮

it's me again Howard

又是我霍华德

Listen if you're free Friday

如你周五有空

maybe we could have a little something to eat at my place

可来我家吃点东西

My mom cooks a hell of a brisket

我妈做的牛腩特别好吃

Let me know

通知我

It's Howard

我是霍华德

I've had her brisket Melts in your mouth

我吃过她做的牛腩入口即化

Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom

或许我们该去卧室

That's a good idea

好主意

There's a bed in there and I'm very

那有床我非常...

very very pro bed

非常非常喜欢床

You've reached Dr Stephanie Barnett

斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家

Leave a message

请留言

Hey it's me again

又是我

Just want to let you know

只是想通知你

the head count for dinner Friday has gone up

周五晚餐人多起来了

My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming in from Palm Springs

我姨妈贝蒂和舅舅艾略特从棕榈泉来

Oh and if anybody should ask

如有人问起

you're half Jewish on your mother's side

你母亲是犹太人

Okay call me

打给我

It's Howard

我是霍华德

Don't you think we should tell him you're not interested

你不觉得该打电话告诉他你没兴趣吗

Do you want me to stop and call him back right now

你现在想让我停下并打电话给他

Dear God no

我的神啊不

Oh Leonard

莱纳德

You've reached Dr Stephanie Barnett

斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特医生家

Leave a message

请留言

Hey it's me again Howard

又是我霍华德

Listen my cousins from Fort Lauderdale are flying in to meet you

我表兄妹从劳德尔堡飞来见你

so that means we're gonna have to move the dinner to a restaurant

所以我们必须到饭店吃晚餐了

Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden

告诉她我们去橄榄花园饭店

I have a coupon from the paper

我有报纸上的优惠券

We're not going to the Olive Garden Mom

我们不会去橄榄花园饭店老妈

Oh Mr Bigshot with his Red Lobster

大人物和他的红龙虾

I'll call you back when we firm up the details

我们商讨好细节再打电话给你

It's Howard

我是霍华德

New shirts

新T恤

Yeah a couple

对一些

Nice Thank you

-不错 -谢谢

So who's the girl

和哪个女孩约会呢

I'm sorry

抱歉

Well last time you bought a new shirt was when we were dating

上次你买新T恤时我们在约会

So what we did was in fact dating

这么说我们那会是在约会了

Well yeah we did have a date

是啊我们是约会过

Exactly Thank you

千真万确谢谢

Do me a favor Tell Koothrappali that next time you see him

帮我个忙下次见到库萨帕里的时候把刚才的话告诉他

So who is she

她是谁

Oh she's a doctor

她是个医生

Oh nice

不错

A doctor doctor or a you kind of doctor

是真的医生还是像你这种充数的

Doctor doctor

真的医生

Surgical resident

外科住院医

Smart pretty

聪明漂亮

Let me ask you something

问你个事

If your friend thinks he's dating someone

如你的朋友认为他在和某人约会

but he's not because in fact you're dating her

但实际上却没有然而你又在和这个人约会

does that make you a bad person

这样的话我算不算一个坏人

Well that depends

看情况了

On what

什么情况

Is that friend Wolowitz

那朋友是沃罗威茨吗

Yeah

没错

Screw him You're fine

去他的你是好人

Are you sure

你确定吗

Well have you slept with her yet

你和她上床了吗

You dog

你个小坏蛋

Good for you

真有两下子

Does that change things

这改变什么了吗

没有

So why'd you ask

那你为什么问呢

I'm nosy See ya

就是爱听闲事回见

Howard get the door

霍华德开门

Really Is that what you do when someone knocks

有人敲门你就这么应答吗

Thank you I had no idea

太感谢了我不知道你会这样

Hey buddy What brings you to my little slice of hell

伙计什么风把你吹到寒舍了

Who is it

是谁

It's Leonard

莱纳德

You're gonna have to play outside

你们得去外面玩

I'm not dressed to receive

我没穿见客的衣服

No one cares Ma

没人在乎的妈

So what's up

什么事

Listen I need to talk to you about something

我得和你谈点事

Momentito

稍等一下下

Yello

你好啊

Oh Stephanie

斯蒂芬妮

thanks for calling me back I was worried

感谢你回电我还担心呢

No I understand

不用我理解

Sure we can be friends Absolutely

没问题做朋友挺好的

Thanks for calling

感谢回电

Yeah you have a nice day too

你也过得愉快

You are dead to me

你个死人

Okay who gets the extra dumpling

好吧谁吃剩下的这个水饺

Rock paper scissors lizard Spock

石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克

Okay one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock

好吧我们其中之一不能再出史波克了

How do we decide that Rock paper scissors lizard Spock

-那怎么决定 -石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克

Oh hey guys

大伙好啊

Hello

你好

Hi Howard

你好霍华德

Howard

霍华德

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm in which you are

霍华德开始使用校园法则了而他唯一的目的

for all intents and purposes deceased

就是想表明你已经亡故了

He intends to act on this by not speaking to you

他打算通过不与你说话以及在你说话时

feigning an inability to hear you when you speak

假装没听见来对你采取措施

and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence

另外还拒绝承认你的存在

That's just ridiculous

这也太荒谬了

Why are you cooperating with him

你为何要配合他

I don't make the rules Leonard

规则不是我定的莱纳德

Howard come on I didn't plan on this

霍华德别这样我不是有意为之的

These things just happen

事情就这么自然而然的发生了

Usually not to me but they do happen

通常不会发生在我身上但还是发生了

Did someone just feel a cold breeze

有没有人感到有一股冷风

I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor

我想这个隐喻是对死亡的引伸

The cold breeze is the so called ectoplasmic issue

那股冷风就是所谓的灵的外质

of a disembodied soul passing by

一个脱离肉体的游魂

You know screw it I'm just gonna eat the dumpling

不管了我要吃剩下的一个了

Hey Oh hi Steph

你好斯蒂芬妮

Come on in Is this a bad time

进来吧来的不是时候吗

Yeah but I don't see a better one on the horizon so

对不过我也看不出你什么时候来合适

Oh if it isn't Mrs Dead to Me

如果她不是死人之妇的话就好了

Hello Howard

你好霍华德

Sheldon

谢尔顿

I'm sorry you violated the terms of your metaphor

对不起你违反了你的隐喻

by acknowledging her existence I'm out

承认了她的存在我不玩了

He just won't listen to me

他不听我解释

Okay I guess it'll just be the three of us then

好吧我想那就只有我们三个了

Lisa's gonna be disappointed Yeah

利萨会很失望的是呀

Lisa

利萨

Yeah my roommate

对我室友

She just went throh a really bad breakup

她刚刚经历了一段糟糕的恋情

and I thought she might like to meet somebody fun like you

我想她可能想见见像你这样识趣的人

Leonard Stephanie you're alive It's a miracle

莱纳德斯蒂芬妮你们又活过来了这真是奇迹

So anyway Lisa I just wanted to tell you again

利萨不管怎样我就想再说一次

how much I enjoyed the other night

我那晚过得很开心

and again I'm sorry for how it ended

还有就是这样结束了我也很遗憾

But again if you could let me know about Friday

不过如果这周五的情况你能让我知道的话

My mother needs a head count

我妈要知道有多少人

so she can know how big a brisket to get

这样她就知道该买多大的胸肉了

Howard Howard look at this

霍华德霍华德快看这个

Anyway call me

记得回我话

The possibility of life on Mars has long fascinated scientists It's Howard

科学家一直都在关注火星上是否存在生命我是霍华德

and laypersons alike

看来其他人也在关注

It's unclear how the Mars Rover got into the crevice

火星漫步者怎样进入裂缝还尚未得知

but one thing's certain

但有一件事是确定的

The data which it has sent back contain

火星漫游者发送回来的数据

the first clear indications

第一次清楚地表明

that there may have been life on Mars

火星上真有可能存在生命

It's a scientific discovery that has staggering implications for all mankind

这个科学发现对全人类来说都有巨大的意义

Unfortunately we'll never know who's responsible

遗憾的是我们永远也不会知道这归功于谁

Son of a bitch

真他妈的混蛋