生活大爆炸-S04E18_生活大爆炸

S01

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Morning

早啊

Morning

早

Sleep okay

睡得好吗

Mm hmm Great

挺好的

Hey can I ask you something

我能问你点儿事儿吗

Sure

问吧

Last night me wanting to try that stuff out

昨晚我想尝试《性爱宝典》

of the Kama Sutra

里面的那招

was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive

你是觉得有意思呢还是觉得有种族歧视

Yeah just because you're in bed with an Indian woman

就因为你和一位印度女人同床共枕

you think that gives you permission

你就觉得可以

to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual

使用古印度性爱手册里的狂野体位了吗

Hey if you can find a book called

喂你要是能找到一本

Weird Sex With White Boys I'd be okay with that

《与白人男孩儿的诡异性爱》我也没意见

No no you have such beautiful eyes

别戴你的眼睛这么美

Have you ever thought about getting contacts

你考虑过戴隐形眼镜吗

I tried in the seventh grade

我七年级的时候试过

I could never get used to them

总是戴不习惯

Oh that's too bad

真是可惜

Yeah if I had contacts I would have been

对啊要是我戴上隐形眼镜我肯定就是

the coolest debate club president

史上最酷的被关在

ever to be stuffed into his own cello case

自己大提琴箱里的辩论俱乐部主席了

If you had them on now

你要是现在戴上

you could see what we're going to do next

就能看见咱们接下来要做啥了

Th that's okay I can infer from context

没没关系的我可以脑补的

Hey Raj wanna see a new magic trick I've been working on

嗨拉杰想见识一下我最近练的小魔术吗

Howard if I may interject here

霍华德容我插句嘴

with a piece of friendly advice

给你一条友情建议

Is working on magic tricks

难道你的人生

really how you want to spend your time

就指着这些魔术小把戏了吗

Granted you're just an engineer but

我知道你只是个工程师但是

that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw

这并不意味着你不会某天做出一个小把戏

or a thingamabob that may get you a "thank you"

或者小玩意儿能让别人在诺贝尔奖的

in someone else's Nobel Prize acceptance speech

获奖演说里送你一句"感谢某人"呀

Is the trick making him disappear

你这魔术能把他变没了吗

Sure let's see it

好吧咱们看看吧

Here shuffle these

给洗一下牌

Okay

好

Now spread them out on the table face down

正面朝下摊在桌子上

挑一张看一眼

Okay

好的

Now remember your card put it back in the deck

记住这张牌再把它放回去

Is it any wonder he doesn't have a doctorate

知道为啥他拿不到博士学位了吧

Remind me what's your birthday

提醒我一下你生日是哪天

October sixth

10月6号

Okay October is the tenth month

好的 10月是第10个月份

So ten one plus zero is one plus six is seven

那么10 1加0等于1 1加6等于7

Turn over the seventh card

翻开第7张牌

How about that

我勒个去!

Is that your card

是你选的那张牌吗

Yes it is Very cool

对没错真厉害

It's not cool

一点都不厉害

It's a childish trick designed

只是个简单的用来

to confuse and intrigue simpletons

戏弄傻瓜的小把戏而已

How'd you do it

你是咋弄的

A magician never reveals his secrets

魔术师是不会透露他的秘密的

But surely a future Nobel Prize winner can figure it out

但未来的诺奖得主肯定能搞明白的

Fine

好啊

Give me a second

让我想想

You ever notice when he thinks real hard it smells like bacon

你有没有注意到每次他认真思考时都会散发培根的味道

Oh hey Sorry Oop

-喂 -不好意思

Sorry Pardon me

抱歉抱歉

Oh I'm so sorry

真不好意思

Oh that was my fault

都怪我

Check it out

看吧

I just got contacts

我戴隐形了

One two

一二

three four five

三四五

No way

不可能吧

That's your card right

这张牌就是你挑的对吧

Seven of clubs

草花7

That is amazing

太神奇了

It's not amazing

一点都不神奇

All magic tricks are merely a combination

魔术小把戏都离不开

of manipulation and misdirection

操纵和误导的窠臼

with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet

有时候还会有侏儒藏在箱子里晃腿

Oh really So how did I do it

哦真的吗那我是怎么做到的

I don't care how you did it

我才不在乎你是怎么做到的

I have more important things to think about

有更重要的问题等着我思考

Clearly the cards are marked

显然这些牌上都是有记号的

I thought you had more important things to think about

我以为你在思考更重要的事儿呢

I do You just happened

没错你恰好

to have caught me on a break

碰见我休息了

Oh let me see those cards

让我看看这些牌

Big deal Not knowing

有啥大不了的不知道

is part of the fun

才有乐趣啊

"Not knowing is part of the fun "

"不知道才有乐趣啊"

Was that the motto of your community college

这是你们社区大学的校训吗

Hey guys what do you think

各位你们觉得咋样

Priya took me clothes shopping

普丽娅带我去买衣服了

Hey you look great

哇看起来真不错

Good for you Priya

干得好普丽娅

I could never get that stupid hoodie off him

我怎么样都没法让他不穿那件难看的帽衫

when we were

在我俩还那啥的时候

Well you look great

额你看起来好帅

Thank you

多谢

Let's go hang everything up

咱去把衣服都挂起来吧

Yeah good

嗯好

New contacts

新隐形眼镜

I should have done this years ago

我该早几年戴的

So you finally getting used to them doing it on a daily basis

这么说你终于习惯他俩每天都这样了

I'm not going out with him

我已经不和他在一起了

He can sleep with whoever he wants

他想跟谁上床都无所谓

Yeah I was talking to Raj

我在和拉杰说话呢

Oopsy

啊哦

This deck is rigged in some fashion

这副牌肯定做了手脚

Fine Get another deck

好吧换一副牌

and I'll do the trick with that

我照样能变给你看

So you're saying this is a regulation deck

你是说这是一副正常的牌吗

I'm saying believe in magic you muggle

我是说要相信魔法你个麻瓜

You know well I'm happy Leonard's found someone

我很高兴莱纳德找到了女友

Not that anybody asked

虽然没人问起这个

How many Star Trek uniforms do you have

你有多少件星际迷航的制服

Just two

就两件

everyday and dress

常服和礼服各一

Listen we need to talk about something

我们得谈谈

Oh my God you're breaking up with me

天哪你是要跟我分手

Why would you take me out shopping

为什么要带我去买衣服

and then break up with me That is so cruel

然后跟我分手那太残忍了

Leonard I'm not breaking up with you

莱纳德我不是要跟你分手

Oh okay

哦好吧

So what's up

那你要谈什么

It's a little weird

我就觉得怪怪的

your ex girlfriend hanging out here all the time

你前女友一天到晚在这玩

I know

我知道

I usually never see my ex girlfriends

我通常跟前女友老死不相往来

unless their hard drives crash

除非她们的硬盘崩溃

I'm just saying how would you feel

我只是说要是我整天

if I was hanging out with my ex boyfriend

跟前男友混在一块你觉得怎样

Um not great I guess

不怎么好我想

But Penny and I are just friends

但我和佩妮现在只是朋友

I don't care

我不管

This is a woman you have slept with

她曾跟你上过床

If you want her around

要是你仍想她在眼前晃

then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on

那我不得不认为你仍对她旧情难忘

No no no no I'm ready

不不不我忘了

I gave up the gift of sight for you

我都为了你宁愿目不能视

If that's not moving on what is

这还不算忘了旧情算什么

You need to cut the cord with Penny

我想让你跟佩妮彻底断了

Oh okay

哦好的

You don't sound very confident

你好像不是很有信心

No no I'm confident

不不我很有信心

Its not like I'm unfamiliar with the "get lost" conversation

我很清楚什么叫"我要跟你一刀两断"

Although this will be the first time I'll be the one saying it

虽然这是第一次我跟人这么说

Thank you

谢谢你

I appreciate it Sure

-我很感激 -应该的

Oh God you smell so good

天哪你真香

Of course that could just be

当然也有可能是

my other senses getting stronger

我其他感官更加灵敏了

(《星际迷航》角色女性)

Hypothetically if I had access

假设我能弄到

to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform would you wear it

一件乌胡拉中尉的制服你会穿吗

Leonard it's a source of great pain to me and my family

莱纳德这是我和我家人莫大的痛苦

that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe

因为我哥衣柜居然有这一套行头

Can we not discuss it

能不讨论这个吗

I'm sorry Never mind

抱歉别介意

And was your card the jack of diamonds

你之前拿的牌就是方块J吗

Oh unbelievable

难以置信

Know how he did it yet

知道他怎么做到的了吗

Aw he has the same look my little nephew gets

嗷他跟我小侄子一个表情

when he can't figure out how I got his nose

他想不通为何我鼻子跟他一样时就这样

You know I have some remedial magic tricks

我还有几个治愈系的小魔术

that might be more your speed

可能更适合你

Like ooh look

比如快看

The pencil's rubber

看这铅笔上的橡皮

Hey I think I know how you did the card trick

我想我知道你怎么变的了

Oh please if I don't know you don't know

拜托我都不明白你怎么可能知道

That's axiomatic

这是不言自明的

Come here

我说给你听

You're right

还真给你说对了

Not too bad for someone

对一个不知道什么叫

who doesn't know what "axiomatic" means

"不言自明"的人来说还真不赖

What happened with the contacts

你的隐形眼镜呢

One of them's upstairs

一个在楼上

The other one sort of slipped back into my skull

另一个好像已经跑脑袋里了

Hey is that one of the new shirts Priya got you

这是普丽娅给你买的新衬衫吗

Yeah

对

You don't wanna wash that

可不能这么洗

No No that's silk

-不能吗 -不能这是丝织品

Seriously what would you do without me

老实说没有我你可怎么办哦

Yeah

是啊

You know I gotta tell you I think

我不得不说我觉得

you got a real winner with Priya Yeah me too

-你找上普丽娅真是太幸运了 -我也这么想

She seems really sweet

她真是太可爱了

Believe me you do not want to take that for granted

相信我你可不能觉得理所当然

There are a lot of bitches out there

外面可有大堆大堆的婊子

Yeah bitches are the worst

是啊找个婊子可就太糟了

All right I'll see you later

好了回见

Uh Penny there's something I have to tell you

佩妮我有事想跟你说

What

什么

Okay uh how do I put this

好吧怎么说呢

Um are you familiar with Darwin's observation

你了解达尔文在加拉帕戈斯群岛

of the finches in the Galapagos Islands

考察雀类时的观察法吗

Did they make a movie about it

有拍电影出来吗

没有

Then no

那我不了解

All right well anyway Darwin observed that when two groups

好吧达尔文观察到当两组雀类

of finches competed over the same food source

去竞争同一种食物来源

eventually one of them would evolve a different beak shape

最终其中一种会进化出不同的鸟嘴

so they could feed on something else

从而能以别的东西为食

Okay

好吧

So what do you think we can learn from that behavior

你觉得我们可以从该行为中学到什么

that we can apply to our own lives

可以运用于自己生活中的

Uh a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

一鸟在手胜过二鸟在林?

Sure that has birds in it

当然这话里也有鸟

It's fun talking to you Leonard I always learn stuff

跟你说话真有趣莱纳德总学得到东西

I'm sorry but I'm gonna count that

抱歉那就算你答应了

Do you really have to wear that in bed

你睡觉的时候一定要戴这玩意吗

Yeah The doctor didn't want me to rub my eye during the night

对呀医生怕我睡着之后揉眼睛

It was either this or one of those giant neck cones

不戴这个就要戴那种超大的锥形颈圈

So did you get to talk to Penny

你跟佩妮谈过了吗

Oh yes Indeed I did

谈了真的谈了

And

结果呢

She completely understood everything I said

她毫无保留地欣然接受了

Case closed

妥妥儿的

Was she upset

她生气了吗

Maybe but that's not my problem

也许吧不过与我无关

She's not my girlfriend you are

她不是我女朋友你才是

I hope you weren't cruel to her

不要对她太残忍

Is the autumn cruel for letting the flowers die

那让繁花凋零的到底是秋天的残忍

or is that just nature's way

还是自然法则呢

Leonard Leonard Leonard

莱纳德莱纳德莱纳德

What

干嘛

I think I figured out Wolowitz's magic trick

我参透沃罗威茨的小魔术了

and I need you to pick a card

我需要你来选一张牌

I am not opening that door Sheldon

我不会给你开门的谢尔顿

As you wish

如你所愿

Pick a card put it back

选一张牌放回去

and prepare to be amazed

接下来就是见证奇迹的时刻

Did you pick one

选好了吗

Yep

好了

Is this your card

这是你选的牌吗

Nope

不是

Drat

我去

Is this your card

这张呢

不是

I'll be right back

我去去就回

Pick a card Sheldon

选一张牌谢尔顿

Now look at it and put it back in the deck

瞟一眼然后放回去

Now do you remember your card

记住牌面了吗

Of course I do I have an eidetic memory

搞笑呢吧哥的记忆力不是讲笑的

My apologies

我的错

Now shuffle the cards

现在洗一下牌

Shuffling

接着洗

Wait here

等我一下

Processing image cross referencing

图像处理交叉引证

Whatcha doin'

忙什么呢

I'm reverse engineering Wolowitz's magic trick

我在对沃罗威茨的小魔术进行逆向分析

What's up with the infrared cameras

红外摄像机能派上什么用场

I'm measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards

通过对扑克牌余热等级的测量

to determine which one's been touched

可以确定哪张牌被摸过了

By the way

顺便提醒一下

if you hope to have children

如果你打算要小宝宝的话

I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers

我建议你把三角小内内换成四角的

Your testicles look a tad warm

你的蛋蛋看上去温度略高

Holy crap are you connected

我勒个去别告诉我你进入了

to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory

国立橡树岭研究所的系统

Yes I'm using their Cray supercomputer

没错我正在用他们的克雷超级电脑

to analyze shuffling patterns

分析洗牌的模式

Sheldon that computer is used for national defense

谢尔顿那台电脑是供国防部使用的

Hacking into it is a federal crime

黑进去相当于刑事犯罪

Relax we're not under attack right now

别紧张现在又没人跟咱们打仗

Okay I'm leaving before the black helicopters get here

趁军方直升机没来之前我先出去躲躲

And is this my card

这张会是我的牌吗

Rats

大爷的

I wonder if Howard used a radioactive tracer

我怀疑霍华德用了放射性指示剂

Where am I going to find uranium 235 this time of night

这么晚了我上哪弄铀-235去啊

Come on CraigsList

给力吧 Craigslist

(Craigslist 一个网上大型免费分类广告网站)

Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant

带你来印度餐厅算是种族歧视吗

It's okay I like Indian food

没关系我喜欢印度菜

Or as you probably call it back home "food "

或者你可以宾至如归地称它为"菜"

Why didn't you wear your contacts

你为什么不戴隐形眼镜了

Don't you like them

不喜欢吗

No no I do

不不我喜欢

It's just I knew I was having curry tonight

只是我知道今晚要吃咖喱

and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time

一个部位的灼痛就够我应付的了

You know

知道吗

my company offered me a position here in Los Angeles

公司向我提供了一个职位就在洛杉矶

Does that mean you'd relocate here permanently

那意味着你会在这里定居了吗

Maybe What do you think

也许吧你觉得怎样

I love it

双手赞成

That's great

太棒了

吃着呢

Hi Just hang on

等我一下

Small world

世界真小啊

You did talk to her didn't you

你根本没跟她谈过对吧

Of course I did I talked and talked and talked

当然谈了我跟她谈啊谈啊谈啊的

Hey Look at Leonard in his fancy ass grownup clothes

莱纳德瞧你这一身像模像样的成年人打扮

Way to go Priya For once he doesn't look

有你的普丽娅这是他第一次

like a mannequin in the boys' department

打扮得不像男孩服装部的模特

Hey did he

他有没有告诉你

tell you I saved the silk shirt

我挽救了那件真丝衬衫

No he did not

没有啊

He was gonna throw it in the washing machine

他当时正准备把它扔进洗衣机

with his Spiderman underwear

和他的蜘蛛侠小内内一起洗呢

That's our Lenny huh

这就是咱家莱尼哈

Yes that's our Lenny

对这就是咱家莱尼

So how's the food here

这里的东西好吃吗

Oh wow that is really really good

这个真的非常非常好吃

Oh I'm sorry You guys are on a date

抱歉你们俩约着会呢

We can hang out anytime Have fun

咱们有空再聚吃好喝好

Bye Good night

拜拜晚安

Oh that's hot hot hot hot

辣死了辣死了辣死了

Whoo I really sneaks up on ya huh

是不是有被我盯梢的感觉

All right I gotta go

好了我消失

It is pretty spicy

这个真的很辣

Oh I've been meaning to tell you

我一直想告诉你来着

I figured out your magic trick

你的小魔术我弄明白了

Really

真的吗

Oh yes

那当然

In fact I improved upon it

而且我还进行了改进

I'd love to see that

我很期待啊

How about you Raj

你呢拉杰

Beefaroni and a show

边吃牛肉通心粉边看表演

How do you turn that down

怎么可能拒绝呢

All right

看好咯

Pick a card

选张牌

Okay

好的

Bippity boppity boo

天灵灵地灵灵扑克牌快显灵

What's with the wand and the beep

你拿根小黑棒哔一下是什么意思

The wand is called showmanship

小黑棒是用来凸显我的表演能力

and the beep is none of your business

那哔的一声则不关你事

Oh Excuse me

抱歉

I'm getting a text message

我刚收到一则

completely unrelated to this magic trick

跟这魔术没半点关系的短信

Oh look my dry cleaning's ready

我的衣服干洗完了

And your card was the five of spades

你手里那张牌是黑桃5

Ta da

看吧

These cards have barcodes on them

这些牌上有条形码

The wand is a reader

那根小黑棒是读码器

It's transmitting to your phone

能把信息传送到你手机上

I said "ta da "

我刚说了 "看吧"

Show's over

看完就得了

That's pathetic

这也太悲剧了

Let me show you how a real magician does it

哥给你演示一下真正的魔术师是怎么做的

Raj take a card

拉杰选张牌

Don't let me see it

不要让我看见

Okay

好的

Three of clubs

梅花3

Son of a gun

真他妈给力

you're blowing my mind

大师果然是大师

Bippity boppity boo yah

天灵灵地灵灵大师给你来显灵

That does it I'm getting uranium

我受够了我要去搞点铀

You ever gonna tell him

你打算告诉他吗

Maybe When it stops being fun

或许吧等哪天玩腻了再说

So never

那就是永远也不说咯

Oh hey I was just on my way to work

我刚准备去上班

Oh okay its not important

没事这事不重要

It can wait

以后再说吧

No it's all right Walk me down

没关系边下楼边说吧

So what's up

什么事

Uh I kind of have a problem

我遇到一个难题

I was hoping you could help me with

希望你能帮我解决

Sure anything

当然尽管说吧

Move out

搬出去

What

什么

Not far

不用搬太远

Hey if you ever wanna start a family

如果你想组建家庭

La Canada has some great schools

拉肯纳达那边有一些不错的学校[美国加州]

Okay I'm not moving anywhere

够了我哪儿也不去

What the hell is this all about

这到底是因为什么

Why does it have to be about anything

为什么就一定要有原因吗

Can't a fella ask his buddy to relocate

一个人请求他的伙伴搬家

no questions asked

就不能毫无疑问地走吗

Oh for God's sake Leonard

看在上帝的份上莱纳德

this is about Priya isn't it

这是因为普丽娅对吗

She doesn't want me hanging out with you

她不想我老跟你一起玩

Yes There I said it

对就是这句我终于说出口了

Okay look

好吧听着

I happen to like your girlfriend

我碰巧喜欢你的女朋友

And she likes you

她也喜欢你

No she doesn't

不她不喜欢我

Not really no

是不怎么喜欢

It doesn't matter Look I promise from now on

没关系我保证从今以后

I will keep my distance from you

我会跟你保持距离

Well now hold on

呃先等等

What kind of distance are we talking about

你说的距离是指哪种

Because we are neighbors

因为我们是邻居

I mean I can hear the toilet flush in your apartment

我可是那种能听见你公寓马桶冲水声的邻居

You can hear my toilet flush

你还能听见我的马桶冲水声

I don't listen for it but it's nice to know

我不是故意去听不过很高兴知道

everything's okay with your plumbing

你的排水管道一切都好

The building's plumbing

还有这栋楼的排水管道

Leonard I get it

莱纳德我懂的

You're in a new relationship now

你现在处于一段新的恋爱

And I'm happy for you

我为你感到高兴

So why don't we just shake hands and part friends

为什么我们不能握个手好聚好散呢

Well now hold on

呃先等等

How about this

这样如何

How about we still hang out but on the down low

我们还可以一起玩不过是地下的

Are you really that kind of guy

你真的是那种人吗

不是

I actually felt kinda silly just saying "on the down low "

其实当我说出"地下"这词儿的时候我觉得有点犯傻

Good bye Leonard

再见莱纳德

Penny wait

佩妮等等

Damn contacts

去你的隐形眼镜

Incoming

他来了

Hi Hey

-嗨 -嘿

Hello

你们好

Why so glum chum

为什么这么闷闷不乐哥们儿

Apparently you can't hack into a government supercomputer

显然你不能在美国国家安全局

and then try to buy uranium

给你妈妈打小报告的情况下

without the Department of Homeland Security tattling

入侵政府的超级电脑

to your mother

还试图在上面买铀

Oh that's too bad

这真是太糟糕了

Figure out the magic trick yet

想明白这魔术的原理了吗

Figure out the magic trick yet

想明白这狗屁魔术的原理了吗

Want me to tell you how to do it

要我来告诉你怎么做到的吗

不用

I'll show you one more time

哥再给你耍一次

Raj

拉杰

Hang on

慢着

This time do it with me

这次由我来抽牌

so I can make sure there's no monkey business

这样我才能确保其中没有猫腻

All right

好的

Two of hearts I hate you

-红桃2 -我恨你

Yeah he's gonna win the Nobel Prize

这样下去诺贝尔奖非他莫属