生活大爆炸-S10E06_生活大爆炸

S01

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Hey have you ever heard of the Van Nuys Comic Con Yeah

-你有听说过加州凡奈斯漫展吗 -有啊

It's a dinky little convention where they sell collectibles

就是个破烂小展览卖卖收藏物

and get sad D list celebrities to appear Why

请一些不知名惨兮兮的小咖出场怎么了

I got asked to sign autographs there

我被邀请去办签名会

That's awesome

太屌啦

Is this for Serial Ape ist

是因为《杀人恶猿》吗

Well it could be for the monkey movie

可能是因为这部猴子电影

It could be my hemorrhoid commercial

也可能是因为我拍的痔疮广告

The list does not go on

反正可能性只有这俩

When is it It doesn't matter

-什么时候 -这不重要

I'm not doing it What Why not

-我才不去 -为什么为啥不去

You just said yourself it's sad

你刚才自己说了很惨啊

Yeah but it's not pathetic

但没有到可悲啊

That's where I draw the line

我的底线就是不可悲则可行

Come on We'll have fun

去嘛肯定有意思

I don't know

我也不知道了

You'll have nerds fawning all over you

会有各种宅男对你摇尾乞怜啊

If you don't love that this marriage is in trouble

如果你不喜欢这感觉那我们的婚姻要出大事了

I guess it wouldn't hurt to meet some fans

好吧去见见粉丝

and make a little extra money

顺便赚点外快也不错

Yeah

对啊

Wow An appearance by George Lucas

大导演乔治·卢卡斯...

's dermatologist

的皮肤科医生也会来

Oh I want that autograph Oh yeah

-他的签名我也要了 -好好好

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait

The Earth began to cool

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

That all started with a big bang

Bang

By aBU 201610

生

活

大

爆

炸

第十季第六

You know with us living together

我们现在开始同居了

maybe we could think about having people over

是不是能考虑试试邀请客人来玩

We have people over all the time

我们整天有人来访啊

We have the maintenance people the pizza delivery man

有维修工还有披萨外送员...

that UPS driver who feels the need to ask

还有那个觉得有必要来关心

how parts of me are hanging

我最近有没有什么"鸟"事的快递员

You know what I meant

你知道我说的是什么意思

All right fine

好吧行

Let's say that we were to entertain people

那就假设我们要宴请朋友

What type of gathering did you have in mind

你打算举办哪种聚会呢

Huh A meal Lunch

吃饭的话午餐会

Brunch Dinner

早午餐会还是晚餐会呢

Afternoon tea A formal tea Hmm

下午茶的话是正式的吗

Is it a party

还是是个派对呢

And if so what kind of party

如果是那请问是哪种派对

A cocktail party

是鸡尾酒派对

A Tupperware party

直销产品派对

Ooh yeah is it a surprise party

对了是惊喜派对吗

Oh I hope it's not a West Coast party

我希望不是《西海岸派对》啊

'cause according to the man on the radio

因为根据电台里这首歌的歌词

a West Coast party don't stop

西海岸派对永不停歇啊

I'm sorry I mentioned it

对不起我不应该提起这事

Oh don't be You get your hopes up

不用道歉你心中燃起希望之火

I knock them down That's called teamwork

我一桶冷水把它浇熄这就叫合作无间

That's a kick

踢了

That's an actual kick

孩子真的踢了一下

What are you doing

你在干嘛

I felt a kick

我感觉到踢了一下

There's a baby in there

里面有一个宝宝呢

Oh yeah that's where I put it

对哦原来我把宝宝放这里了

Oh I mean I know you're pregnant

我的意思是我知道你怀孕了

I just

只是...

never connected the idea of pregnancy

我从来没把怀孕

and you actually having a baby

跟你要生孩子这件事联想到一起

Which MIT did you go to

你去的是哪家麻省理工来着

Oh God we are not ready to have an infant in this house

天啊我们这房子还没准备好迎接宝宝啊

We don't have a crib we don't have diapers

没有婴儿床也没有尿布

We're not baby proofed

也还没弄婴儿保护措施

Anyone can just walk in off the street and lift our toilet lids

任何人都可以走进家里掀开没锁上的马桶盖

Howie we have time to do all that stuff

华仔我们还有时间搞那些东西

Do we

真的有吗

Look at you

看看你

Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room

就像电影里被推去榨汁的小胖子一样圆

The next person kicking you will be me

下一个踢你的人会是老娘

Good night

晚安

Are we even in a good school

我们这里是好的学区...

I warned you and I did it

警告过你了我言出必行

What's all this

这是什么

Oh everything we need for your autograph session

你办签名会需要的一切东西

head shots markers Okay

-大头照马克笔 -等等

Leonard it's sweet you're excited about this

莱纳德你对这事很上心是好事

but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph

但哪怕是有一个人想要我的签名都能算奇迹

Are you kidding

你在开玩笑吧

I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature

我有一次花20块去讨西奥·杀死勒的签名呢

Who's that Oh I don't even know

-他是谁 -我也不认识

I just liked his name Theo Sassler

我只是觉得他名字炫西奥·杀死勒

Oh and look at this

你看这个

I even got a change maker

我还弄了一个换零钱机

How much change you want little lady

你要换多少零钱小姑娘

Oh there's so much I want to change

我想要换[掉]的东西多了

Yeah well if it's a dollar you're in luck

如果是想要一块钱换硬币你就来得巧了

What's going on here

这是怎么一回事

You expressed an interest in having people over

你表示出了对邀请客人有兴趣

and I feel I dismissed it too quickly

我觉得我太快驳回你的提议了

So I took matters into my own hands

所以我决定亲自着手此事

and I arranged a brunch

筹办了一场早午餐会

Well that's so nice

这真是太好了

Who's coming

有谁会来

Oh uh Stuart Bert from the geology lab

斯图尔特地质学实验室的伯特

and Mrs Petrescu from downstairs

楼下的佩特雷斯库太太

You mean the Romanian lady on the second floor

你是说住二楼的罗马尼亚女士吗

Yes

是的

Oh fun story

说来也好笑

she grew up with ten siblings

她从小是跟十个兄弟姐妹一起长大

Or possibly penguins Her English is atrocious

或是跟企鹅一起长大她的英语太烂了

That's an odd mix of people

客人的组合好奇怪啊

Well for our first time hosting

我们第一次邀请客人来家里

I thought it would be wise to conduct a trial run

我认为先做个试验是明智之举

You know like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house

就像当年我为了万圣节鬼屋练胆

by going into the bathroom at the bus station

于是我去了公车站的厕所

You never went into that haunted house

你后来压根没进那间鬼屋

You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station

那是因为你没看见我在公车站受到什么惊吓

Well thank you Sheldon

谢谢你谢尔顿

This is a fun surprise

这真是个有趣的惊喜

Well the real surprise is

真正的惊喜是

how surprised you are that I'm great at surprises

你知道我擅长给人惊喜后有多惊喜

Well that's not a surprise at all

那根本不算惊喜

I mean if I knew you were good at surprises

如果我本来就知道你擅长给人惊喜

I would have expected the surprise

那我就会预计到有这个惊喜

and therefore not have been surprised

然后就不会被你"惊喜到"

But as it is I didn't know

可事实上是我之前不知道

and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising

所以我"惊喜"的样子你根本不该觉得惊喜

Don't get me all randy Guests are on the way

不许用言语挑逗人家客人随时会到

回来啦

Hey where you been

你们去哪儿了

Oh we went and did a little shopping for the baby

我们去给宝宝买了点东西

Wait till you see the crib we found

你等着瞧我们选的婴儿床吧

You bought a crib without me

你买婴儿床不用问过我吗

You're gonna love it Yeah

-你肯定会喜欢的 -对啊

It's the highest rated one on the market

它是市场上评价最好的一款

I wouldn't even call it a crib

要我就不会说那是婴儿床

I'd call it a Fortress of Solitude for babies

我会称其为"宝宝的孤独城堡"

Sounds expensive

听起来就是贵货啊

Okay well I may have gone a bit overboard

好吧我可能有点太舍得了

but you can't put a price on safety

可安全是无价之宝啊

Though if you did it's more zeroes than you're expecting

但如果非要给个价那会比你想象中多很多个0

But it's the safest crib you can buy

但那是市面上最安全的婴儿床

And if you don't like it we can return it

而且如果你不喜欢我们可以退掉啊

Fine In our new minivan

-好吧 -它在我们的新面包车里呢

Hey what's for lunch

中午吃什么呀

You bought a minivan

你还买了一辆面包车吗

It's for the baby and I didn't buy it

那是为了宝宝啊而且我又没买

The dealer loaned it to me for a 24 hour test drive

卖车那人借给我试开一天

Though we did ding up the back pretty good with the crib

但我们搬婴儿床时把车后备厢撞得挺狠的

so you might have bought a minivan

所以你很可能得买下这辆面包车

I don't want to drive that It's such a mom car

我不想开这车太老妈子风了

The guy at the dealership said

卖车那人说

they're not just for moms anymore

这车不再只适用于妈妈

Then again he did think you were my husband

但我还想说那人的确认为你是我老公

They thought it at the ultrasound

照B超的人也这么想

Why not at the car dealership

卖车的人会这么想也不出奇

Never been on this side of the table before

从来没坐过在桌子的这一端

I feel powerful

感觉可以呼风唤雨啊

Really

是咩

I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms

有种像为了队伍筹款买新制服而卖糖果的感觉

Okay so it's $4 75 for a signed black and white

签一张黑白照4块7毛5

and $9 95 for a color

彩照9块9毛5

Right Why not five and ten bucks

好的干嘛不直接收5块和10块

Well I brought my moneymaker Let me shake it

我带了换零钱机[性感本钱] 让人家甩甩嘛

Hey that guy's looking over here

那个家伙正往这边看呢

You think he's your first autograph

你觉得他会是第一位买你签名的粉丝吗

I don't know Be cool He's coming He's coming

不知道淡定他过来了他过来了

I love your movie

我超爱你的电影

Well thanks

谢谢

It has got to be one of the worst things

绝对是我人生中看过

I've ever seen in my life

最糟糕的东西之一

Your love confuses me

你的爱使我困惑

Would you like an autograph Sure

-想来张签名照吗 -好啊

Okay Who do I make it out to Daniel

-好的签给谁 -丹尼尔

Okay I have to ask

-好的 -我想知道

Were you trying to be that bad

你是故意演这么烂

or are you just a terrible actress

还是你本身演技就烂

That did not clear things up

您这话更让我摸不着头脑了

That'll be $4 75

一张4块7毛5

Keep the change

不用找了

But I

可我...

Nothing about that was good

全程糟透了

There's nothing to be afraid of Sheldon

没什么好怕的谢尔顿

The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour

木塞的平均速度是每小时40公里

If that is too fast around a school

如果这速度在学校操场算飞快

it is certainly too fast around a kitchen

那么在厨房也肯定是

Been 15 minutes Just sayin'

我想说已经耗15分钟了

Okay I can do this

好吧我能行

Just give me a moment

再给我点时间

Mimosas coming up

含羞草香槟来了

I once left orange juice in my fridge so long

我有一次把橙汁放在冰箱的时间久到

it tasted like a mimosa

它喝起来像含羞草酒

How old was it

到底放了多久

It's hard to say

不好说

I don't remember much after I drank it

我喝完之后就不省人事了

Would you like one Mrs Petrescu

你想来一杯吗佩特雷斯库太太

Yes

当然

Drink is fun and good friends Applebee's

酒好好友尽在苹果蜂餐厅

美国知名连锁西式平价餐厅

She's learning English from TV

她的英语都是看电视学的

TV good Now back to you

电视很棒啊画面回到现场主播

Hey guys

大伙们

Hi Stuart

斯图尔特

These are for you

这花是送给你的

Oh they're pretty Thank you

好漂亮的花啊谢谢你

Stuart this is Bert from the Caltech geology lab

斯图尔特这位是加州理工地质实验室的伯特

and this is Mrs Petrescu from downstairs

这位是楼下的佩特雷斯库太太

Nice to meet you

很高兴认识你们

Hello Hey

-你好 -你好

So what did I miss

我有错过什么吗

Eh we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes

我们见证了谢尔顿耗费15分钟打开一瓶酒

15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance

15分钟可以帮您节省15%以上的汽车保险哦

美国政府雇员保险公司的电视广告台词

Anybody else coming to this thing

这聚会还有其他人来吗

What's your name

你叫什么名字

Jeff Okay

-杰夫 -好的

My favorite part is your shower scene

我最喜欢的部分就是你洗澡那一段

Been hearing that a lot today

这话今天我可听了不少次

I even have a screen grab on my phone

我还用手机截了图

Yep there they are

没错就是这对宝贝

Okay let's keep it moving

行了快闪吧你

Here you go

给你

Should've punched that guy

我真该揍这个小子

Well go ahead He's right over there

想揍就揍吧他就在那儿呢

Why do you do that Can't you let me have my moment

施主何苦要点破就不能让我意淫一下吗

Hello Hi

-你好 -你好

I like your movies

我喜欢你拍的电影

Thank you I saw both of them

-谢谢 -两个我都看过哦

I assume we're still talking about the movies

我想你是指我的两部电影吧

but after today who knows

但根据今日对话 "两个"还真不一定

You think I could get a picture of us

可以和你合影留念吗

Oh sure

当然

And uh could you be giving me a kiss

可以和你接吻留念吗

No She cannot kiss

不行她不能亲...

What is wrong with you people

你们都有什么毛病啊

Leonard No no no It's not okay

-莱纳德 -不行这样是不对的

Who are you I'm her husband

-你是哪根葱啊 -我是她老公

No you're not

谁信啊

I am

我真的是

Yeah he really is

对他真是我老公

鬼才信

It's got a rearview camera there's a DVD player

这车配置了倒车摄像头光盘播放器

oh and check this out

你再看这个

It's like we're living in the future

是不是感觉自己进入了未来世界

Hey show her the trunk Show her the trunk

给她演示后备箱给她演示后备箱

Imagine this you've got the baby in one hand

想象一下你左手抱着娃

groceries in the other and you're thinking

右手提着菜你对自己说

"How am I gonna open this trunk "

"我要怎么开后备箱呢"

I'm probably thinking "Where's my husband

我应该会对自己说 "我那个猪头老公呢

and why isn't he helping me "

他为什么不过来帮我"

You don't need my help when you can open the trunk

当轻轻一踢就可以打开后备箱时

with a simple kick of the foot

你就根本不需要我帮忙了

No it's a gentle kick you're doing it wrong

不人家是轻踢你没做到位

Here Give me those

来把东西都给我

Uh maybe it was more of a circle

是不是应该用脚画个圈呀

It's weird that guy thought you were a couple

卖车的人以为你们俩是夫妻完全不"出奇"啊

Yes Yes

-开了 -开了

See

看到没

Easy

轻而易举

And look at all this cargo space

看看这宽敞的后备箱空间

You know we'll get the crib out

等我们把婴儿床搬出来

and you can take it for a test drive

你就可以上车试开了

I'm telling you this van is gonna be

告诉你这辆厢型车绝对是...

Oh is it your back

伤到你的背了吗

Uh yeah

是的

Anyway let's just get in and see if the GPS

没事我们先上车

can take us to the nearest emergency room

试试看导航能否带我们去最近的急诊室

So until Amy's apartment is fixed

所以直到艾米的公寓修好之前

she and I are living here together

她和我都将在这住

I lived with my old girlfriend

我也曾和我的前女友住在一起

She was a geologist too

她也是位地质学家

Things didn't work out

后来你俩吹了吗

I came home from work one day and she had taken everything

有一天我下班回家她把一切都卷跑了

I'm warning you

友情提示

hide your good rocks

记得把好的石头标本都藏起来

My sister's husband took all her things too

我妹夫也把她的东西卷跑了

Story at 11 00

11点即将播出

Really no one else is coming

真的没有其他客人来了吗

Oh this is it

没有了

You are the practice round

你们这算是练习赛

Practice round For for what

练习赛练习什么

Uh no He he just means that

不他的意思是

you were the first people we thought of

你们是我们首先想到的人

You know exactly

没有错

We've never thrown a brunch before

我们从未邀请过别人来吃早午餐

and I wanted to work out all the kinks

我想先试试水

So I'm like a lab rat

所以我就相当于

before your real friends come over

你真正的朋友来之前的小白鼠

You see your words sound reasonable

你的话非常合理

but your face looks angry

但你的表情非常生气

Help me out here This is not where I shine

快帮我一下我最不擅长这个了

Stuart you know you're one of our favorite people

斯图尔特你知道你是我们最爱的朋友之一

Okay now see you look sincere

你的表情非常真挚

but your words are completely false

但你的话却错得离谱

I'm glad we did this test run

幸好我们举行了这个练习赛

These brunches are wild

早午餐可真是不好办啊

But how did you get her to go out with you

你是怎样成功让她同意跟你约会的啊

Well she moved in across the hall

她刚好搬到了我家对面

And he started to slowly wear me down

他不断纠缠让我慢慢放弃抵抗

Like a river carves a canyon

只要功夫深铁杵也能磨成针

Yeah except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards

不同的是磨针的人老是跟我显摆他的宠物精灵卡

Ready to go

可以走了吗

Hang on This guy's telling me

等等这个人跟我说了

how he got the Serial Ape ist girl to marry him

他怎么让《杀人恶猿》女主嫁给他

This guy

这货吗

But he's wearing a change maker

可他别了个换零钱机

I think it's hot

我觉得特性感

That's right

没错

I'm her change daddy

我是她的零钱干爹

What was I thinking

我当时在想什么呢

Wolowitzes are not a lifting people

沃罗威茨家的人搬不了重物

We tip the lifting people

我们付小费给搬重物的人

Do we really have to sit for hours in the emergency room

我们真要在急诊室里等几个小时吗

They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time

还不是会和上次一样给你点冰和止痛药

You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair

等我以后靠轮椅生活你就后悔去吧

Which by the way would fit easily in the back

顺便说一下真有轮椅也可以轻松地装进

of this award winning minivan

这台获奖的商旅车的后备箱

Fine we'll go to the E R

行了我们去急诊

Just stop selling me on the van

你就别再给这车打广告了

You're right It sells itself

你说对它自己就是最棒的广告

You have to admit it's a pretty smooth ride

你也不得不承认行驶确实平稳

I was hoping it'd be quieter

噪音小点就更好了

If childbirth is half this bad

生孩子要有这一半疼

you are so screwed

你就死定了

Are we there yet Soon

-我们到了吗 -快了

Why is it taking so long

为什么这么久

H Howard Howard look at the DVD screen

霍华德霍华德看屏幕

I put on Batman The Animated Series Your favorite

我在播《蝙蝠侠之风云突变》你的最爱

I'm in too much pain to watch cartoo

太疼了没心情看卡通

Oh This is a good one

这集好看

I've been babysitting him way longer than you have

我带这孩子的时间可比你长多了

Fine I'll buy the stupid van

行我买这台蠢车还不行吗

This is the best blintz I've ever had

我从来没吃过这么好吃的薄饼

Oh Thank you

谢谢

It almost makes up for the incredibly awkward turn

十分美味只差一点就能挽回

things took earlier

刚刚万分尴尬的局面呢

You know what I I think I'm just gonna go

我说我还是走吧

No Stuart don't

不斯图尔特别走

No I I consider you and Sheldon like my family

不我把你和谢尔顿当成我的家人

and I'm not even sure you think of me as a friend

可我都不确定你们有没有把我当朋友

You have any idea how that feels

你懂那种感受吗

We're so sorry

我们非常抱歉

I'm always the last one anybody thinks of

我总是最后一个被想起的家伙

Well no that's not true

不不是这样的

I mean sometimes it's Koothrappali

偶尔是库萨帕里

But we're not supposed to say that

但我们不应该这么说

'cause he's a minority

他是有色人种怕有歧视嫌疑

Bye

再见

Stuart wait

斯图尔特等等

I do know what it feels like to be left out

我确实知道被冷落的感受

I know how it feels too

我也知道那种感受

All right this is about me and him you're not part of it

知道了这是我和他之间的问题没你事

Stuart perhaps we do take you for granted

斯图尔特也许我们太不重视你的好

and that is not acceptable

这是不可接受的错误

Please know that you truly are a valuable member

但请你知道你真的是我们这个社交团体中

of our social group

非常重要的一员

Thank you

谢谢

You know in fact I'd like to propose a toast

这样我想举杯祝酒

To Stuart

敬斯图尔特

A fine man

优秀男子

a good friend and a wonderful guest

好朋友还是一位很棒的客人

Hear hear Cheers

-说得好 -干杯

Cheers Filmed before a live studio audience

干杯现场观众实况录播

And that is how a short asthmatic scientist

这就是一个哮喘矮子科学家

landed a stone cold fox

如何搞定了冷血冰山美人

I didn't know you can propose to the same person

我都不知道跟一个人求婚

so many times

居然能求那么多次

The third time I did it in skywriting

第三次我是让飞机在空中写字求婚

but she never looked up

可惜她始终没抬头看过

You know once I proposed to him

还有一次是我跟他求婚的

Yeah I said no

对被我拒绝了

Why

为什么

I just wanted to make her work for it

想让她多费点功夫争取本少爷啊

Yeah that's gonna cost you later

对小女子一会儿就"报答"你

Hang on Is she just with you because you're rich

等等她是为了你有钱才跟你在一起吗

She makes more money than I do

她挣得比我还多

What Who are you

什么您是何方神圣

Do you know what else I love about you

知道我还喜欢你什么吗

Y Your handwriting is impeccable

你的字写得无可挑剔

Thank you for noticing

感谢你注意到啊

No I mean it I mean it

真的我说真的

It's like you have the soul of a label maker

简直像被打标签机灵魂附体了

You know what I love about you Hmm

知道我喜欢你什么吗

You never leave the house without a paper clip

你出门必备曲别针

You never know when two pieces of paper

上天有不测之风云

might temporarily need fastening in the top left corner

两纸有左上角待夹

I also love how you never use swear words

我还喜欢你从来不说脏话

You know it turns out

但结果是

you can hurt people just as well without 'em

骂人不吐脏字照样杀人于无形

Maybe I can get a little help putting some of this stuff away

谁有空过来帮忙把这些东西收好

Oh calm down

别激动

I already put away five of these

我不是才把五杯这个"收进"肚里吗

You see

你看吧

No muss no fuss not a single cuss

轻松堵上她嘴不用一个脏字