生活大爆炸-S05E04_生活大爆炸

S01

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"The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door

通往地下城的入口是一道布满苔藓的大门

"You manage to open it only to find yourself

你设法打开门结果发现自己

"Face to face with a hideous foul smelling

面对着一个丑陋恶臭

moss covered ogre "

布满苔藓的食人魔

What do you do

你该怎么做

I say "Hey Ma what's for dinner "

我会跟他说"老妈今晚吃点啥呢"

Seventeen

十七点

The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass

食人魔被你的玩笑打动允许你进入了

By the by I liked it too

顺便说一句我也喜欢

How go the wedding plans Howard

婚礼筹备得如何了霍华德

Great We spent five hours last night

很好啊我们昨晚花了五小时

at Macy's registering for gifts

在梅西百货挑选礼物

Looks like I'm finally going to have

看上去我终于能够品尝到

that darling little earthenware asparagus dish I've always wanted

我那梦寐以求的小巧可爱的陶盘芦笋菜肴了

See this is the good thing

看吧这就是

about having a girlfriend 9 000 miles away

女友远在天边的好处了

I can spend my nights doing whatever I want

我起码可以在晚上为所欲为

You mean like playing nerd games with us

你指的是跟我们玩完书呆子游戏后

and then taking a suspiciously long shower

再去冲个可疑的长时间热水澡吗

Maybe

也许吧

We enter the dungeon

我们进入了地下城

You see a dragon

看见了一条龙

Really So we're playing Dungeons & Dragons

不是吧我们玩的这叫《龙与地下城》

and we walk into a dungeon and see a dragon

然后进入地下城就看见一条龙

Isn't that a little on the nose

不觉得有点太直接了吗

When you play Chutes and Ladders do you complain

当你玩梯子滑道游戏时你抱怨过

about all the chutes and all the ladders

所有的滑道和梯子吗

Are you gonna eat that whole pie

你要把整个馅饼都吃了吗

Maybe Why not

也许吧为啥不行

Who do I have in my life to watch my figure for

我的人生又有谁值得去为之奋斗呢

Oh God did you watch Bridget Jones again

天哪你是不是又看了一遍《BJ单身日记》

No it's just that everybody's got someone

不是啊因为大家都有了归属

Sheldon's with Amy Howard's getting married

谢尔顿和艾米在一起霍华德要结婚了

you're dating my sister

你在跟我妹妹约会

Now that Howard's getting married

既然霍华德要结婚了

maybe he'll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you

他可能会在众多充气娃娃中挑一个前女友送你

You know who I blame for my loneliness

你知道我的孤独是谁的错吗

The United States of America

就是美利坚合众国

Your movies and your TV shows promised streets paved

你们的电影和电视剧承诺这里的街道

with beautiful blonde women with big bazongas

满是漂亮的金发巨乳美女

Eat another pie you'll have your own bazongas

再吃个馅饼你就能拥有自己的巨乳了

That's cruel

你这么说太残忍了

You know it goes straight to my hips

你知道我的肥肉只会长在屁股上

Gentlemen please focus

先生们请专心点

You're facing a fire breathing dragon

你们现在面对着一条喷火龙

I don't know if I want to play anymore

我不想玩下去了

Because you don't have a girlfriend

就因为你没有女朋友吗

Well good Lord

我的亲娘七舅老爷

if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons

如果因为这就不玩《龙与地下城》

this game's in serious trouble

那这游戏算走到头了

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第四集

Now I assume we use this same wax later on

等会儿我们还用这些蜡剂

to neaten up each other's bikini regions

来互相清理我们的比基尼部位

比基尼部位:女性的三个隐私部位

Yeah my bikini region is fine

我的比基尼部位很干净

Who's shocked I'm not

谁震惊到了我没有

So Bernadette how's the wedding planning going

伯纳黛特婚礼筹划得怎样了

And I'm not asking as a prospective bridesmaid

我这么问可不是想成为伴娘候选人哦

Pick me Pick me

快选我吧选我吧

We went cake tasting yesterday

我们昨天去试吃婚宴蛋糕了

Raj came along

拉杰也来了

He cried and ate half the samples

他痛哭流涕还吃掉一半的蛋糕样品

Oh the poor guy's so lonely

那可怜的家伙太孤独了

We should set him up with someone

我们应该给他找个伴儿

You know I met a really cute girl at work

我工作时遇到了个可爱的女孩儿

She's married to a guy in one of our drug trials

她嫁给了我们那儿一位药品临床试验者

Well hello

喂

She's married

她都已婚了啊

Yeah but her husband is in

是啊但她老公目前

serious congestive heart failure

处于充血性心脏衰竭状态

and a little birdie told me he's in the placebo group

据称他现在已经被安排到安慰剂组了

安慰剂:并不能使病人得到有效治疗,但却"预料"或"相信"治疗有效,而让病患症状得到舒缓

Okay so future grief stricken widow

好吧未来又多一位悲伤的寡妇

is the one to beat

亟待他人的抚慰了

Are we ready to order

我们准备点菜了吗

One moment

稍等

I'm conducting an experiment

我现在正在做一个实验

With Dungeons & Dragons dice

用《龙与地下城》的骰子吗

Yes From here on in I've decided

是的从这刻起我决定

to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice

以后不重要的决定都通过掷骰子决定

thus freeing up my mind

这样可以为我的头脑腾出时间

do what it does best enlighten and amaze

做它最擅长的事儿:启迪思维震惊世界

Page 14 item seven

第14页第7条

So what's for dinner

那么我们到底吃什么

A side of corn succotash

一份豆煮玉米

Hmm Interesting

真有意思

Um Howard can I see you for a minute please

霍华德我能找你有点事儿吗

I don't want to show any more of your friends

我不想再给你的朋友们表演

how I can fit in the booster seats

我是如何坐进幼儿加高座椅里了

Uh no that's not it Just come with me please

额不是让你做这个请跟我来吧

Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with

我们看看喝点什么来配豆煮玉米

A pitcher of margaritas

一大壶玛格丽特鸡尾酒

Do you really want that

你真想这样吗

That's the great thing

这才是最精彩的地方

It doesn't matter

选什么无所谓

My mind is freed up to think about more important things

我的头脑能够有更多时间思考更重要的事情

What's it thinking about now

那你的头脑现在想什么呢

Hamburgers and lemonade

汉堡和柠檬水

Um Raj there's someone I want you to meet

拉杰我这有个朋友想介绍给你认识

This is my friend Emily I know her from my spin class

这是我的朋友艾米丽我在健身课上认识的

Raj relax She can't hear you She's deaf

拉杰淡定她听不见你说什么她是聋人

Emily this is our friend Raj

艾米丽这是我们的朋友拉杰

Look at you guys just hitting it off

看你俩多合得来呀

I am so good

我真是超级红娘

你好

She says "it's nice to meet you""

她说"很高兴认识你"

Does she really mean that

她是认真的

or was she signing it sarcastically

还是在损我呀

Raj says it's nice to meet you too

拉杰说他也很高兴认识你

She says she has to go back to her family

她说她得回去陪家人了

but Penny has her number if you want

但你若想发短信给她约她出来聚聚的话

to text her and get together

你可以找佩妮要她的电话

Okay I'm going to play it cool

好吧我决定扮酷

Tell her "Maybe Whatever babe "

跟她说"再说吧到时候再看宝贝儿"

He'll text you

他会发短信给你的

Look at that I have a date

瞧瞧我有约会了

I love America again

我又开始热爱美国了

And now for dessert

现在到甜点了

Come on hot fudge sundae come on hot fudge sundae

拜托朱古力新地我要朱古力新地

Bam That's what I'm talking about

哦耶这就对了

Okay as soon as she gets here

好吧等她一到

so she knows I'm cool with it

既然她知道我很淡定

I'm going to make a joke about her being deaf

所以我要就她的耳聋开个玩笑

I was thinking "Hey did you hear the one about

比如说嘿你听说过那个什么没有

Oh no I bet you didn't "

对哦我忘了你听不见了

Maybe we should revisit your lonely fat guy plan

你还是老老实实当回你的单身肥男好了

Oh she's here

她来了

No joke

别开玩笑

She says she's sorry she's late

她说她很抱歉来迟了

Tell her it doesn't matter

跟她说没关系

Tell her her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies

跟她说她的眼睛就像是天女宫

in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens

湖中乳白色百合一样闪烁

Really

真的吗

That's the first thing you want to say

你一上来就要说这句话吗

I worked on it all night Use it

我想了整晚了就这么说

Look I don't know the sign for opalescent

我不知道"乳白色"的手语

Then spell it

那就拼出来给她看

I don't know how to spell it

我不会拼

You're blowing this for me

你就非要给我搞砸了

He likes your eyes

他喜欢你的眼睛

You're making me sound like a caveman

这下好了我听上去就像是个山顶洞人

She says "Thank you You have nice eyes too "

她说 "谢谢你的眼睛也很漂亮"

Really Ask her how many children she wants

真的吗问她想要几个孩子

and whatever number she says say "Me too "

不管她说多少你就说"我也是"

不要

Fine Tell her I have a deep sexy voice

好吧那就跟她说我的声音低沉性感

like James Earl Jones

就像詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯一样

美国影星曾给《狮子王》中老国王配音

She doesn't know what James Earl Jones sounds like

她哪知道詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯的声音什么样啊

Great Then she won't know I'm lying

正好那她就不会知道我在骗人了

Let's see what else can I tell you about me

让我想想我还能跟你说点我的什么

that would make you like me

来让你喜欢我呢

Ooh I love music

我热爱音乐

Do you love music

你喜欢音乐吗

You really want to ask her that

你真的要问她这个吗

You're right Everyone loves music

也对是人都热爱音乐啦

She says "Do you play an instrument "

她问 "你会弹奏乐器吗"

不会

but when I was six years old

但是我六岁的时候

I tried to start a boy band called

曾经想要成立一个男生乐队

模仿Frankie Goes To Hollywood英国老牌乐队

Frankie Goes to Bollywood

叫"法兰基到宝莱坞"

But I couldn't get any other boys to join

但是我找不到其他男生肯跟我组队

so my parents asked the servants

于是我父母就只好叫我家的仆人

to be my backup dancers

来做我的候补舞者

Wait when you sign "servants"

等一下你比划"仆人"的时候

don't sign it like I'm bragging

别比划得好像我在炫耀一样

Sign it in a way that I sound humble

要比划成我很谦虚

with just a hint of "That's right I had servants "

同时又透露出"没错我有仆人"那种感觉

Do you hear yourself

天啊你还真是满嘴胡话呀

Yes but she doesn't So get signing hand monkey

怕啥反正她又听不见快比划呀长臂猿

I think I wrote a letter to Santa Claus every day

我每天都给圣诞老人写一封信

And then on Christmas morning

终于到了圣诞节的早上

under the tree is a little puppy

我在圣诞树下找到一只

with a red ribbon

系着红缎带的小狗

What are you doing

你在干嘛

Texting Bernadette that I'm gonna be late

给伯纳黛特发短信告诉她我今晚要晚点回去

Dude what is she saying

哥们儿她说什么呢

It's a funny story about a puppy

她在讲一个关于狗狗的搞笑故事

Just smile and laugh

你就跟着笑就对了

Quick quick stop smiling What Why

-好了好了不要笑了 -怎么了

The puppy died it choked on a doll head

小狗后来死掉了它吞了一个娃娃的头

Sad face sad face

表情悲哀表情悲哀

It's a little hard to see with the city lights

在城市闪耀的灯火下有点看不清楚

but that W shaped constellation is Cassiopeia

但是那个W形状的星座就是仙后座

And she was the mother of Andromeda who's over there

旁边的是仙女座也就是仙后座的女儿

Look pretty stars

看呀一闪一闪亮晶晶

This is her car

这是她的车

She hopes she can see you again sometime

她希望下次能再见你

Good good

好呀好呀

Oh boy

天啊

help me out here

帮我一下

Does she want me to kiss her or not

她想不想让我吻她

I speak sign language I don't read minds

我只会打手语而已又不会读心术

If you were me would you kiss her

如果你是我的话你会不会吻她

Yeah but I'm a make out king

会但哥是调情高手呀

I was so smooth on that date

哥真是太会泡妞了

You I made you smooth

就你是我帮你泡的好不好

You were an idiot

你就是个蠢货

Whatever dude She kissed me

随便你咋说反正她亲的是我

It might've been on your lips

也许她亲的是你的嘴唇

but it was my kiss

但其实她亲的是我

Oh fine Let's agree she kissed both of us

好吧那就当她亲了我们两个

Okay

成

Mustache is looking good there Sheldon

小胡子不错啊谢尔顿

Don't thank me Thank the dice

别夸我夸骰子吧

They told me what percentage of my face to shave

骰子告诉我该刮多少比例的胡子

Why are you still doing this

你怎么还在搞这个

Because it's working

因为这很有用

In the past few weeks

这几周

unburdened by trivial decisions

因为不用做琐碎的决定

I've co authored two papers

我已经和别人合作在著名

in notable peer reviewed journals

同行评审期刊上发表了两篇论文

and I'm close to figuring out why

我也就快搞清楚

the Large Hadron Collider has yet

大型强子对撞机

to isolate the Higgs boson particle

是如何分离出希格斯玻色子的

You left out got chafed testicles

还有个你没提你蛋蛋擦破了

because you no longer wear underpants

就因为骰子告诉你不用再穿内裤了

The dice giveth and the dice taketh away

成也骰子败也骰子

Is Raj out with Emily again

拉杰又和艾米丽出去了吗

Yeah every night for the last month

嗯这个月来每晚都出去

Wow can't believe he has a girlfriend

真难以置信他有女朋友了

Me neither

我也想不到

Here's some other fun news on the Raj/Emily front

我来爆点杰丽恋的料吧

He gave her a pair of diamond earrings and leased her a car

他送了她一对钻石耳环还给她租了一辆车

You're kidding

真的假的

You think she's taking advantage of him

你觉得她在占他便宜吗

Oh of course not

当然不会

She wouldn't do something like that

她不会做这种事

She's deaf

她可是聋子

聋女就不会是拜金女吗NDeaf women can't be gold diggers?

Handicapped people are nice Leonard

残疾人都人很好莱纳德

Everyone knows that

地球人都知道

Yeah I actually have information about Raj

我知道一些关于拉杰的事

that would be helpful with this discussion

也许对你们的讨论有帮助

Could you tell us

你能告诉我们吗

Let's see

扔了再说

Snake eyes Sorry bud

两点不好意思了

Wait hang on

等下

Doubles Roll again

双人赛再掷一次

Okay get this

好吧听好了

It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts

他给她买再多礼物也无所谓

because the Koothrappalis are vastly wealthy

因为库萨帕里家超有钱

What do you mean "Vastly wealthy"

你说超有钱是什么意思

Well "Wealthy" Means a lot of money

有钱就是指有很多钱

"Vastly" Means even more

加上个超就是有很多很多钱

I'm not sure what's tripping you up

这有什么听不懂的啊

Look I know they have money I don't think it's that much

听着我知道他们有钱但没这么有钱吧

No you're wrong

不你错了

As you know a few years ago I achieved one of

几年前我实现了其中一个小梦想

my lesser dreams and became a notary public

做了一名公证人

Well from time to time

时不时地

I notarize banking documents for Raj

我要替拉杰公证一下账户记录

The Koothrappalis aren't just rich they're Richie Rich rich

库萨帕里家不仅是有钱而是超超超有钱

Well so how much is that

那是有多有钱

后者是《圣诞欢歌》主人公超有钱也超小气

前者是蝙蝠侠超有钱

About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck

差不多介于布鲁斯·韦恩和斯克鲁奇之间

What the hell

搞毛

The last time we went to the zoo

我们上次去动物园

that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro

那丫的还让我给他买西班牙油条

Listen guys I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude

听着伙计们不好意思我也不想这么无礼

but I need to go call Raj's sister who I love so much

但我得打个电话给拉杰的妹妹我超爱的那个

So vastly much

超超超爱的那个

Okay so he's got money and it's a few gifts and a car

好吧他是很有钱买了很多礼物...还有车

And she got him to pay off all her credit cards

她还让他付了她所有的信用卡账单

What He paid off her credit cards

啥他还帮她付信用卡账单

Damn it I could've dated Raj for a couple months

我靠我怎么就没和拉杰约会几个月呢

But I I wouldn't have because I'm not that kind of girl

好吧我不会这样我不是这种人

We should really talk to Raj

我们得和拉杰谈谈

He's not going to listen he's in love

他听不进的他坠入了爱河

Can't figure out what to do

不知道该怎么办吗

I remember those days

我也有过这种日子

Now if you'll excuse me I have to

而现在请原谅我不得不...

stay right here

继续留在这

Yeah this is a bad idea

这个主意太烂了

We should go No

-我们还是走吧 -不

I'm the one that introduced him to her

是我介绍她给拉杰的

I've got to say something

我得说点什么

You're engaged to my friend

你和我朋友订婚了

Hey Bernadette doesn't mind where I get my motor running

伯纳黛特又不介意我在哪儿变得性致勃勃

as long as I park in the right garage

只要别出轨意淫也无妨

I can't believe you're engaged to my friend

你居然和我朋友订婚了

Oh here she comes

她来了

Smart Whisper so the deaf chick can't hear you

真聪明啊小声说让那聋女听不见

Nice to see you

很高兴见到你

Um can we talk to you about Raj

我能和你谈谈拉杰吗

She says "Sure what about him""

她说当然他怎么了

Okay um gosh how do I start

好吧哎我该怎么说呢

Um see Raj is kind of naive

那个拉杰其实蛮天真的

I mean he hasn't dated a whole lot of women

我是说他没怎么和女人约会过

And I'm concerned that without meaning to

而我只是有点担心没别的意思

you might be taking advantage of him

你会不会可能在利用他

You know by letting him buy you a bunch of expensive things

比如让他给你买了很多奢侈品

And I I

而我...

Howard focus

霍华德专心点

Tell her what I'm saying Right

-告诉她我说了什么 -好

Are you a gold digger or not

你是拜金女在找冤大头吗

Oh uh something something

此处省略不礼貌用语[以下something=fucking]

who the something do you think you are

你他妈以为你是谁

Mind your own something business

我的事关你屁事

and go something yourself

滚你妹的

Wait I got this now

好吧我总算懂了

I'm so mad at you

我非常生你的气

Okay wait

好吧等等

How dare you ambush my girlfriend at the gym

你怎么敢在健身房偷袭我女朋友

We didn't mean for it to be an ambush

我们不是想偷袭她的

Just it's kind of impossible not to sneak up on deaf people

只是对聋子想不偷袭都不可能

And hey since when are you so chatty

你什么时候这么健谈了

I'm hammered

我醉了

Raj come here

拉杰进来说话

This girl is trouble

她是个大麻烦

I mean what kind of relationship is it

你们这算哪门子关系

where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex

你送礼物给她她用性爱做回礼

The best one I ever had

那是我收过最好的回礼

Okay come on

好吧拜托

You know you can do better

你知道的你还有更好选择

I see what's going on here

我知道怎么回事了

You and I had our crazy night together

你我共度了疯狂一夜

and now you can't stand to see me with another woman

现在你受不了我和别的女人在一起了

It's okay

我懂的

I can't get mad at your feelings

我不会因为你吃醋而生气的

I don't have feelings

我才没有吃醋呢

Yeah that's good

是啊很好

Keep telling yourself that

继续自欺欺人吧

He is cuter now that I know he's rich

自从知道他是有钱人他可爱多了

I have a surprise for you

我有个惊喜送给你

Cover your eyes

遮住眼睛

Open them

把手放下来

It's a real ruby

是天然红宝石的

It was a little expensive

有点贵

but no one can put a price on love

不过真爱是无价的

Although the people at Cartier took a pretty good shot at it

虽然卡地亚公司让真爱变得好昂贵

卡地亚:著名奢侈珠宝品牌

Oh Mummy Daddy

妈妈爸爸

What a nice surprise

真是意外之喜

No it's not a nice surprise it's a bad surprise

不不是意外之喜是意外之怒

Penny called us

佩妮打电话给我们了

Penny

佩妮

She told us you're spending all our money

她告诉我们你把我们的钱

on your new girlfriend

都挥霍在新女友身上了

I just got her a couple of things

我只送了她几件东西

She gives me things too

她也有回礼呀

Yeah yeah I'm a gynecologist

是我是妇科医生

I know exactly what she gives you

非常清楚她回的什么礼给你

You need to find a nice Indian girl from a good family

你得找个门当户对的印度姑娘

If you keep seeing this woman you're cut off

你要是继续跟她好就拿不到我们的钱

What You're going to make me choose between the woman I love

什么你们让我在深爱的女人

and the money I have very strong feelings for

和强烈吸引我的金钱之间做抉择

It's up to you

你自己决定吧

Well I choose love

好吧我选爱情

You're an idiot

你个笨蛋

Love doesn't last

爱情好比昙花一现

Well he's going to find out eventually

他最终会发现的

Think about it

好好想想吧

My parents are making me choose between money and you

我父母让我在钱和你之间作选择

I choose you

我选了你

No I think we'll have to return the car

不那车得退回去

And that necklace yeah that too

那项链也得退

But none of those things matter

但那些都不重要

because we have something better

因为我们有更好的

We have love

我们有爱

Oh Penny I hurt so bad

佩妮我心都碎了

I know I know

我知道我知道

Sometimes I put the TV on mute

有时候我会把电视静音

just to pretend she's still with me

就为了假装她还和我在一起

But I can't watch the closed captioning without crying

但我一看那隐藏字幕就忍不住哭

Oh I'm so sorry

我真为你痛心

I wish I could make you feel better

真希望能让你心情好点

Seriously

什么人啊

I'm heartbroken and you're hitting on me

我心都碎了你还要勾引我

What No

什么不是的

Look Penny you're great

佩妮你是个好人[著名的好人卡]

but I had a long talk with my parents

但我跟父母长谈了一番

and they said if I date an Indian girl

他们说只要我跟印度女孩约会

I get a Maserati

就送我辆玛莎拉蒂

Oh cheesecake

哇芝士蛋糕

you're just as good as a woman

你跟女人一样美味

even though I can't have sex with you

即便我不能跟你上床

Try throwing it in the microwave for a few seconds

放微波炉里热几秒再试试[然后再捅进去]

Should I use the rest room or wait until we get home

我该现在上厕所呢还是等回家再上

Come on papa needs to void his bladder

小乖乖爸爸需要排空膀胱

Oh that's not what you want to see after three buttermilks

喝了三杯酸奶之后可不想看到这结果

Here you go boys

账单来了各位

I'll pick it up when you're ready

把钱准备好了我再过来

Thanks for dinner buddy

谢谢请客兄弟

Yeah real big of you

是啊你真是大方

Hurry hurry hurry

快点快点快点

Oh and don't cheap out on the tip

小费可不准少给了啊

We all know you're loaded now

我们都知道你是阔少