生活大爆炸-S05E07_生活大爆炸

S01

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And reverse the spin on the antiproton

然后让反质子的自旋反向

and γ becomes α

γ变成了α

Multiplied by a matrix of i 0

乘以矩阵(-i,0)

And there we have it

有成果了

Conclusive proof that I am absolutely worthless after 9 o'clock

证明我九点过后就是一条废柴的证据

Sheldon

谢尔顿...

Sheldon

谢尔顿...

All right all right

好了好了

I see what's going on

我看穿了你们的诡计

A little pre Halloween hijinkery

万圣节前的装神弄鬼罢了

A ghostly moan

阴森的呜咽

a rattling of chains

铁链的响声

a witch's cackle

女巫的奸笑

The trifecta of haunted house cliche

老套的鬼屋三元素

Instead of "eek " I say "yawn "

普通人尖叫哥只想睡觉

Sheldon

谢尔顿...

Oh the walls are dripping blood

滴血之墙

which looks nothing like a phenolphthalein indicator

看上去假得就像把碳酸钠溶液

碳酸钠溶液呈碱性遇酚酞变红

exposed to a sodium carbonate solution

滴进了酚酞里一样

"See you in hell Sheldon "

"我们地狱里见谢尔顿"

The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma

这话最恐怖的地方是你忘了加逗号了

Okay all right

好很好

That one was clever

这招高

Skeleton with phosphorous on a zip line

缆绳上挂着个含磷的骨架

Come on out merry pranksters

现身吧快活的恶作剧者们[也是乐队名]

Take a bow

该谢幕了

You should've seen your face

你真该看看你刚才的表情

Yes there's nothing quite like the slightly widened eyes

有什么呀不过就是稍稍受到惊吓

of mildly startled

然后瞳孔小小地放大了一点

Come on admit it

你就承认吧谢尔顿

We got you Sheldon

我们吓着你了

Please fright depends on an element of surprise

拜托惊吓惊吓有惊才有吓

The simple fact is

而事实是

because I am much smarter than you

在能未卜先知的我面前

and able to anticipate your actions

你们两个臭皮匠的烂招只是笑话

it is highly unlikely that you two rubes

想吓到我诸葛亮

could ever surprise me

门都没有

He's probably right

他说的对吧

We can't beat him He's just too smart

我们吓不倒他他太聪明了

Gentlemen

先生们

Who had money on "faints"

谁刚才赌他会晕倒来着

I had "pee his pants "

我赌的是尿裤子

Hang on

等等

Looks like everyone's a winner

看来我们都赌中了

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第五季第七集

Oh Watch out Sheldon

当心了谢尔顿

This little boy Casper is a g g g ghost

这个《鬼马小精灵》可是个鬼-鬼-鬼-鬼啊

Droll

可笑

Not as droll as a grown man

那也可笑不过一个成年人

passed out in a puddle of his own urine

晕倒在自己的一滩尿上

That was pretty droll

的确太可笑了

尿液中含氨

With a hint of ammonia

笑声中还带着一丝氨气的芬芳

Yes enjoy your japes gentlemen

接着沾沾自喜着吓人的胜果吧先生们

You think you've poked fun at a milquetoast academic

觉得自己吓倒了一名胆小的大学学者

Well you've forgotten one thing

可你们忘了一件事

I am also a son of the Lone Star state

我可是孤星州[德州别称]之子

I'm Texas through and through

我可是彻头彻尾的德州人

And we know how to settle scores down there

我们可会修理人了

If you doubt me ask Mexico

不信就去问常被我们修理的墨西哥人

Hot girl nine o'clock

辣妹出没九点钟方向

Don't everybody look at once

别同时抬头看人家

What is she doing in a comic book store

她来漫画书店做什么

I don't know she might be lost

我不清楚估计是迷路了

Doesn't matter Watch and learn

无所谓了都学着点儿

Hi Hi

-你好啊 -你好

it it it

呃...呃...呃

Shut up

都闭嘴

Are you getting this Next Men

你要买这期《Next Men》吗

Uh yeah It's issue number 21

是的这是第二十一期的那本

First appearance of Hellboy

地狱男爵第一次登场的那期

I know I've been looking for it for years

我知道我找了它很多年

Sorry Hey if I pretended to hit on you

-抱歉了 -要是我假装来泡你

could I distract you enough to sneak it away

我的美貌够不够让你分心好让我把书偷走

Yes but you'd be using your superpowers for evil

够的但滥用超能美貌做坏事是不对的

Damn I'm forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so

该死我在氪星的老爸禁止我用能力使坏

Kryptonian 超人家族所在星系

I'm Alice

我叫爱丽丝

Leonard

我叫莱纳德

You're very cute Leonard

你真可爱莱纳德

Thanks You too

谢谢你也是

You know go ahead and take it

这书你拿去吧

No no No no I I did evil

不不行这样我就做坏事了

Would you be open to a trade

你接受以物易物吗

Yeah yeah sure I guess

可以没问题

Okay Here

好吧给

This is my number

这是我的电话号码

Call me

记得打给我

Sorry palm's a little sweaty

抱歉手掌有点出汗

What's that word

那是个什么词儿呀

Alice Oh right your name

-爱丽丝 -对哦你的名字

That makes more sense than "Penis"

刚看成"爱鸡鸡"还纳闷呢

Later

回见了

Did we just see you pick up a girl in a comic book store

我们亲眼目睹到你在漫画店成功把到妹吗

'Cause if you did you get your picture up there

如果是真的我要把你的肖像

on the Wall of Heroes

挂在英雄榜上

No I don't think I picked her up

没有吧应该没有把到她

Besides I have a girlfriend

更何况我还有家室呢

Doesn't matter This is the closest anyone's ever come

无所谓你算是最成功的一个了

You're going on the wall my friend

你入榜了伙计

Be sure to check the mail

一定要开信箱

How many times are you gonna tell me

你还要提醒我几次呀

What's with you Nothing

-你没事吧 -没事

It's not suspicious that I'm fixating

我锲而不舍有什么奇怪的

It's consistent with my personality

我个性向来坚持不懈

Right

好吧

Hey guys

伙计们

More Halloween candy

又买万圣节糖果了啊

Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday

你昨天不是刚买了一堆吗

Oh Yeah That's gone

那堆啊吃完了

It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS

万圣节和大姨妈一起来

hit at the same time

我是屋漏偏逢连夜雨呀

Leonard doesn't have time to chat

莱纳德没时间聊天

he has to get the mail

他要去开信箱

Will you relax I'll get it in a minute

你就不能消停会吗我马上就开

How was work Open the mail

-你工作怎么样了 -快开信箱

Excuse me

等我一下

A couple of circulars nothing important

几份广告而已没什么重要的东西

What's with him Hang on

-他怎么了 -等着瞧

You might be from Texas but I'm from New Jersey

你是德州人又怎样哥还是新泽西人呢

Check it out

看这个

Jim Lee 美国韩裔漫画家

Jim Lee drew this of me two years ago at Comic Con

两年前的动漫展上吉姆·李帮我画的

What are you wearing

你穿的是什么呀

Well you know it's Comic Con

动漫展嘛你懂的

I'm Lion O from ThunderCats

我是《霹雳猫》里的狮猫

Wow you must have gotten so laid

哇肯定有不少女生对你"投怀送抱"吧

No But Jessica Alba did rub my furry belly

没有但洁西卡·阿尔芭有揉我毛毛的肚子

Want to see a comic I draw

要看看我画的漫画吗

You're kidding You have your own book

开玩笑吧你自己有画漫画啊

Yeah It's kinda based on my life

是的灵感是来自我的生活

Cool

厉害啊

Oh look That's you having sex with a guy

看啊你和一个上身打扮成

楚巴卡星战人物浑身毛茸茸像猩猩

in the top half of a Chewbacca costume

楚巴卡模样的人在嘿咻

Comic Con

在动漫展上吗

You'd think but no

你以为是不过非也

You're very talented This is really good

你真有才画得真好

Did you do

你是不是...

So can I trade you my comic for the Hellboy

我能用我的漫画换你的《地狱男爵》吗

You can have my car

换我车子都行

Oh dear

神啊

Oh dear

我的老天爷啊

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

妈啊妈啊妈啊

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

救命啊救命啊救命啊

Purell Purell Purell Purell

洗手液洗手液洗手液洗手液

Good morning Sheldon

早上好谢尔顿

It is isn't it

今早是好啊

Oh bother

哎呀讨厌

Isn't that just always the way

每次都这样

You go to staple something and you're out of staples

要用订书机才发现没钉书针了

史泰博: 美国著名办公用品品牌与订书针同字

Gosh I wish I'd known that earlier today

老天要是我早些在史泰博的时候

when I was at Staples

知道就好了

You ever think of paper clips right there

那里有回形针啊

No no I need something more permanent to join these papers

不我需要能把纸钉牢的东西

Say don't you keep staples in your top desk drawer

你不是把订书钉放在第一格抽屉的吗

I don't know Maybe

不知道也许吧

Be a lamb and check

行行好看一下嘛

All right

好吧

Who do we have here

是哪个小可爱躲在这呀

It's a snake A terrifying snake

是条蛇一条吓人的蛇

Oh did some bad man put us in a drawer

是不是哪个坏蛋把你丢到抽屉里啦

Stop talking like that

别装可爱说话了

You've been rendered speechless by fear

你应该被吓得说不出话来才对

Let's go to the biology lab

咱们去生物实验室

and find you some nice yummy mice

给你搞点美味的小白鼠来吃吧

I tried to scare an Indian with a snake

我居然想用蛇来吓唬印度佬

Come on Cooper You're better than this

加油啊库珀你就这么点能耐吗

It's open

门没锁

Hey you got a minute

你现在有空吗

Yeah sure come on in

当然进来吧

Thanks

谢了

Want some mac and cheese

来点芝士通心粉吗

No Lactose Gas

不了有乳糖吃了会放屁

Glass of wine No Sulfites Migraines

-酒呢 -不了有亚硝酸盐喝了会头痛

Okay well I'd offer you Halloween candy

好吧我本来想给你吃万圣节糖果

but that's gone

不过都吃完了

So what's up

怎么了

Okay we used to go out right

好吧我们以前不是约过会吗

Oh my God that's where I know you from

老天总算想起来你是谁了

I'm dealing with a situation

我碰到了点难题

and it's kind of about my love life

是跟感情有关的

so I know that might be weird for us to talk about

我知道咱俩谈这个可能有点尴尬

but in this area as you know

但在这方面你也知道

all my other friends are just so stupid

我其他的朋友实在是蠢得可以

All right what's going on

好吧怎么回事

So you're okay talking about this

这么不介意我跟你谈吗

Yes You're sure it's not weird

-当然 -你不会觉得尴尬吧

It's okay

真的不会

You know what if you ever want to talk to me

好吧如果有天你想和我谈

about a problem in your life with a guy

你跟男人的感情问题

then I would be fine with that

我也愿意听

Okay good because there's this one guy I used to date

那好现在就有个我以前好过的小子

who's about to be force fed wine and cheese

他要是再这样拐弯抹角

if he doesn't get to the point

我就要灌他吃红酒和芝士

Okay

好吧

here it is

是这样的

Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend

这样算不算偷腥如果一个男的有女朋友

Yeah probably

应该算的

Come on

别这样嘛

I'm sorry go ahead

对不起你说

I met this girl and she's great

我新认识一个女孩子她人很好

we have a lot in common

跟我有很多共同话题

Did you guys do it

那你们搞了吗

No We just made out a little

没有只是亲热了一下下

Oh look at you you bad boy

哎呦瞧你个小坏蛋

Did you tell her about Priya

你跟她提过普丽娅吗

Well I was gonna but there were too many tongues in my mouth

我也想提可她的舌头在我嘴里呢

That's gross

真恶心

Here's the thing

现在的情况是

I I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around

我不是那种四处偷腥

and sleeps with more than one woman

拈花惹草的男人

Well good for you

好孩子

The problem is I want to be one of those guys

可问题是我想成为那种男人

So sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya

那就瞒着普丽娅把那女的睡了

Oh that's not who I am

我不是那种人

All right then break it off with the new girl

那好那就跟那女的一刀两断

Now let's not do anything rash

也别草率行事

She's really hot

她真的很正点

If you like this girl so much

既然你这么喜欢这个女孩子

why don't you just end things with Priya

那干嘛不跟普利娅分手

Priya and I are in love

普丽娅和我深爱对方

I think we could get married someday

我们以后说不定会结婚呢

Leonard you're looking for a way to sleep with both women

莱纳德你是想找个两全其美的办法

and have everybody be happy about it

好让你左拥右抱

Now we're getting somewhere

终于说到点上了

What does your gut tell you

你的第一直觉是什么

"Go ask Penny she'll know what to do "

"去问佩妮她知道该怎么做"

Hello Howard

你好霍华德

I've realized that you scaring me was all in jest

我知道你们吓我是闹着玩的

Allow me to say job well done

请容许我说吓得很成功

Perfect

完美

What are you doing

你在干嘛呢

Science You wouldn't understand

搞科研呢你不会懂的

Hey well see you I'm going out

那好再见我出门了

I thought you were leaving the apartment

我以为你是要出门呢

Yeah me too I can't make up my mind

我也以为可我下不了决心

Are you concerned because the world is filled

你是不是担心外面的世界

with big dogs and bullies

充满着疯狗和坏蛋

No I'm having a moral crisis

不是我正面临道德上的难题

Well if it's of any help

如果需要帮忙的话

I've read all the great moral philosophers

我读过各种伦理学家的著作

美国著名作家及漫画家以儿童书出名

including Dr Seuss

包括苏斯博士的书哦

Oh what the hell

死马当活马医吧

I'm supposed to go see that girl

我本来要去见

from the comic book store Alice

在漫画书店认识的那个女孩子爱丽丝

but I don't know if I should

可我不知道该不该去

because I'm going out with Priya

因为我现在跟普利娅在一起

but she's in India

可她人又远在印度

All right So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity

好吧这么说现在的主题是性忠贞

Probably won't be relying on Seuss here

苏斯博士在这方面估计靠不住

苏斯博士1960年著作

Although One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

不过《一条鱼两条鱼红色的鱼蓝色的鱼》

might be surprisingly applicable

倒可能惊人的适用

Go on

继续

Well

那个

they say at the end of your life

别人都说人到了暮年

you regret the stuff you didn't do

比起自己做过的事

more than the stuff that you did

会更后悔没有做过一些事

and I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do

而我非常确定我很想跟爱丽丝"做"

You know the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche

德国哲学家弗里德里希·尼采

believed that morality is just a fiction

相信道德只是低等人群体

used by the herd of inferior human beings

用来阻碍少数高等人的

to hold back the few superior men

虚构事物

That actually does help

死马还真给医活了

It's worth noting that he died of syphilis

值得一提的是他后来死于梅毒

Screw it I'm going On your way home

-管他呢我去也 -你回家的路上

will you pick up some orange juice Do you mind

-能不能买点橙汁回来 -拜托

I'm questioning a lot of things in my life right now

我正在质疑我人生中很多的人事物呢

Is one of those things your fondness for orange juice

你喜欢橙汁也需要质疑吗

No Great Tropicana no pulp

-不用 -那就对了纯果乐要没果肉的

Hey Sheldon

嗨谢尔顿

Who is it

谁啊

It's me Sheldon Mrs Wolowitz

沃罗威茨太太是我谢尔顿

That's not my mom it's Bernadette

那不是我妈是伯纳黛特

Really That's very unsettling

真的吗真分不出来

Hi Sheldon

嗨谢尔顿

Hi What's up

-嗨 -有事吗

It just occurred to me that I never formally congratulated you

我刚想到我一直都还没正式恭祝过

on your pending nuptials

你们即将到来的婚事

So I hopped on

于是我跳上首班车

the first bus and hightailed it down here to shake your hand

一路狂奔过来跟你握手道贺

Put 'er there you old so and so

快把手伸过来你这家伙

Well I I'm gonna see you at work in 12 hours

再过12小时咱俩就一起上班了

don't you think it could have waited until then

你怎么不等上班了再跟我握手呢

Holy smoke why didn't I think of that

我的老天我怎么就没想到呢

You're a better man than I Howard Wolowitz

你果然比我聪明霍华德·沃罗威茨

You put 'er there you son of a gun

快把手伸出来你个小聪明

Whatever

那随你吧

My oh

天啊

it's

我

Oh my God Howard

天啊霍华德

What did you do

你对他做了什么

It was a harmless Halloween prank Look

只是个无恶意的万圣节恶作剧而已看

Howard has a heart condition You know that

霍华德有心脏病你又不是不知道

Well I thought he made that up

我还以为他那是瞎编的呢

I Isn't hypochondria

犹太人不是常有

a common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people

疑病症的问题吗

This is adrenaline

这是肾上腺素

we're gonna have to inject it into his heart

我们得把这个注射到他的心脏里

We are You are

-我们得做吗 -是你做

I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate

我可没那么大劲扎穿他的胸腔

and we've only got one shot

而且机会只有一次

Oh no I can't

不我做不来

Hurry

快点

We're running out of time

咱们时间不多了

Okay Just do it

-好吧 -快扎呀

Oh God

上帝啊

One two

一二

three

三

Trick or treat bubbeleh

不给糖就捣蛋笨蛋

What

什么

No You mean this was all a ruse

不是吧你们居然设局耍我

Oh how could I be so stu

我怎么会笨成这...

Damn it I can't

该死的不行

I can't do this

我不能这样

Uh is it my tongue stud

是因为我的舌环吗

'Cause if that freaks you out

要是有穿舌环就会吓到你

you're in for a real surprise later on

那待会儿你会更大吃一惊哦

No no no

不不是

I I can't do this

是我不能跟你这样

Believe me I really want to

相信我我真的很想

But But I kind of have a girlfriend

-但是呢 -但是我有女朋友了

Are you kidding

你开什么玩笑

You're cool with you and me just being friends right

你不介意咱俩只做朋友吧

I don't believe this

我真不敢相信

Wait I don't Which part

等等我...你不相信哪部分

I'm so stupid

我真是笨到家了

I thought for once I'd met a good guy

我还以为我终于遇上了个好人呢

but you're just another jackass

结果你也只不过又是一个混蛋而已

Oh no no you have it wrong

不不你误会了

No I I was going to be a jackass

不我本来是要当个混蛋

but I stopped myself

但是我克制住了

I stayed a good guy so

我决定做个好人所以

I'm gonna pass on the sex

我还是不跟你滚床单了

But you should know that's not a comment on your hotness

但是你要知道这并不代表你不够辣

but on my goodness

这只是说明我品德高尚

That's kind of my superpower

这也算是我的超能力了吧

I'm like Captain Good Guy

我就像是好人队长

It's okay

没啥了不起的

Did the right thing

做了对的选择

You idiot

我悔得肠子都青了

Hey Priya

普丽娅

Hey sweetheart How's it going

亲爱的一切都好吗

Uh not so good

不怎么样

We have to talk

咱俩得谈谈

Oh sounds serious What's up

好像很严重的样子啊怎么了

Okay uh here it is

好吧事情是这样的

I met this girl and I kissed her

我认识了一个女生我们接吻了

and I feel terrible about it

我觉得很内疚

But it's done it's never gonna happen again

但都结束了绝无下次

And I am so so sorry

我真的非常非常抱歉

Leonard relax

莱纳德别紧张

It's okay

没事的

It is

真的吗

Yeah these things happen

是啊这种事情很正常

They happen to everybody

人之常情嘛

Oh my God you are amazing

天啊你真是太好了

I mean I don't deserve you

我怎么这么命好呀

Wh what do you mean "everybody"

等等会你说"人之常情"是什么意思

Leonard I didn't know if I should tell you

莱纳德我不知道该不该说

but I kind of cheated on you too

不过我好像也背叛你了

Kind of

什么叫好像

A couple of weeks ago

几周前

I slept with my ex boyfriend

我跟我前男友上床了

So I guess we both messed up a little

所以说我们俩都犯了点小错误

No no I messed up a little You messed up a lot

不我是犯了点小错你可是犯了大错

Well it's not a competition

咱这又不是在比赛

Oh yeah it is and you won

就是比赛而且你赢了

I I I'm sorry I have to go

对对不起我要下线了

I don't believe this

老天爷你玩我啊

Bazinga punk Now we're even

吓到了吧小混蛋现在我们扯平了