生活大爆炸-S07E11_生活大爆炸

S01

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Advantage left side competitor

左方参赛者领先

Xbox 体感游戏《Kinect运动大会2》

Wow you're really good at this

你很会玩这游戏啊

Well I have an extremely low center of gravity

姐重心低下盘稳

I'm like a pyramid

就像个金字塔

How you doing over there

你还好吗

Oh I hope it's just a sprain

希望只是脚扭伤

I cannot walk into that E R

我没脸再因为打游戏受伤

with another video game injury

而走进急诊室了

Hey Sheldon you want to play next

谢尔顿你要下一个玩吗

Oh I would but I'm on my way out

我也想不过我得出门

Where Texas

-去哪 -老家德州

Right now

现在去吗

Why

为什么

Is someone sick Yes

-家里有人生病吗 -对的

My sister's uterus came down with a baby

我姐的子宫要"生"小孩了

Oh she's pregnant That's great

她怀孕啦那很好啊

You're gone an uncle Uncle Sheldon

你要成为舅舅了谢尔顿舅舅

No I will be Uncle Dr Cooper

不我是库伯博士舅舅

How come you never said she was pregnant

你怎么从来没说过她怀孕了

Well I never told you about my brother's kidney stone

我也没跟你说过我哥有肾结石啊

You want to hear about everything

你这么想知道我全家人的

that comes out of my family's genitals

生殖器都有啥跑出来吗

Well congrats and it's nice

还是恭喜你啦

you're gonna be there for your sister

你能回去陪她真贴心

Yes

大概吧

I'm filling in for her husband who's recovering

我是被临时抓去的她老公因骑摩托

from a horrible motorcycle accident

出了严重的车祸在疗养呢

Lucky duck

这货运气真好

Wow so how long will you be gone

那你要去多久

Well she's due tomorrow

她预计明天生

Although it did take her six years to finish high school

不过她当年高中念了六年

so who knows

鬼知道这次又要多久

Can I give you a ride to the airport

我能送你去机场吗

Oh no thank you I don't want to be an inconvenience

不用了谢谢我不想麻烦你

Chop chop Leonard

莱纳德麻利点

We leave in ten minutes

我们十分钟后出发

第七季第十一集

生活大爆炸

All right here's the deal

来吧这次是这样

Sheldon is gone so the tree decorating rules

谢尔顿不在他那些装饰树的规则

are out the window

统统可以不用管了

Yeah which means

也就表示

we don't have to use his ridiculous

我们不需要按照他这个

ornament spacing template

狗屁装饰间隔尺来摆了

And I'm happy to report its kickstarter campaign

我也很乐意为大家报告这在集资网上的

is holding strong at zero dollars

募款额仍坚守在0元

Wait so Star Wars and Star Trek characters

等等所以今年《星际大战》与《星际迷航》的

can go on the same branch

角色可以挂同一棵树上吗

I know it's crazy

是啊超不敢想象吧

Welcome to the Thunderdome people

欢迎来到雷霆穹顶

出自《疯狂的麦克斯》系列电影

I've never done this before

我第一次过圣诞节

It's kind of fun

真有意思

Yeah if your mom could see

如果你妈看见

her little Bar Mitzvah boy right now

她的乖犹太儿子现在在干嘛

she'd have a heart attack

她一定会心脏病发的

Good idea I'll take a picture

好主意我立刻拍照

Honey I'm a little strapped for cash this year

宝贝我今年手头有点紧

so for Christmas I was thinking of giving you

所以圣诞礼物我打算给你...

this

这尤物

I love it Okay

-我爱死了 -那就好

But it is what you got me last year

但是你去年就送过我这个了

And last night

还有昨晚

Hello

大家好啊

Hi Stuart

斯图尔特

Oh good I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start

太感谢你们没等我到就开始了

Although you said 7 00

虽然你们说了7点开始

and it's it's 7 00 but that's fine

而现在正好是7点不过没事啦

Oh it's probably Sheldon

应该是谢尔顿打来吧

Hi Sheldon

谢尔顿

Everybody's here say hi

大家都在打个招呼吧

Hey buddy

兄弟

Howdy

你好吗

Hello

你好啊

The second I go out of town

我前脚刚离开

you throw a Christmas party without me

你们后脚就自己办起了圣诞派对吗

Yeah kind of

算吧

That's so thoughtful

太为我着想了

You guys are the best

你们最好了

Hey how's your sister

你姐姐怎么样了

She went into labor an hour ago

她一个小时前就开始分娩了

That's wonderful So you're at the hospital

那很好啊所以你现在在医院吗

No she chose to have a home birth

不是她选择在家生

because she wants to live in the Stone Age

因为她想要像原始人一样

and a cave wasn't available

而她又找不到洞穴

You know many people believe that home births are better

很多人都觉得在家生产对妈妈比较好

better because the mother is in a warm comfortable environment

因为她能够在一个温暖舒适环境下生产

where she can be nurtured by loved ones

身边还有亲人给自己打气

And turn the bedroom floor

然后把浴室地板

into an amniotic Slip 'n Slide

改成羊水滑水道吗

Shelly come on

谢利快过来

Your sister's fully dilated

你姐宫口完全开了

and she wants a nice family picture

她想要在满地是血之前

before there's blood everywhere

拍一张好看的全家福

Oh boy

我的老天啊

I picked the wrong day to wear my good robot T shirt

我今天真不该穿我这件机器人T恤

If you were having Sheldon's baby

如果有天你要给谢尔顿生仔

would you really want him in the room

你真的会希望他进产房陪你吗

Yeah if he's in the room when they're making the baby

如果在造人的时候谢尔顿有进同一个房间

I'll give you ten dollars

我就给你十块钱

Hey I brought over It's a Wonderful Life

我带了《生活多美好》的碟来了

if you guys want to watch it later

等会要一起看吗

Oh I love that movie

我好喜欢那部电影

I've never seen it

我从来没看过

Me neither It's great

-我也没看过 -那太好了

It's Christmastime and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed

故事发生在圣诞时节男主万念俱灰

and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself

本来准备要跳桥自尽...

Don't need to see it Living it

不用看了这就是我的人生

But then he gets to see what the world

但上帝让他看到了

would be like if he'd never been born

如果他从未出生世界会变得怎么样

Hey you ever imagine what that would be like

你想过如果没有你

Not being born

世界会如何吗

What do you think

你说呢

What do you think

你说呢

What do you think

你说呢[独自面对谢尔顿]

You make jokes about Sheldon

你们虽然取笑谢尔顿

but if it weren't for him

但如果没有他

I don't think any of us

我们之中的任何人

would be sitting in this room right now

都不会在此时此刻坐在这里

Really Sheldon not being here

真的吗但谢尔顿不在

is the main reason I'm in this room

就是我在今天来的主要原因

It's true

我是说真的

None of you would know me

你们绝对不会认识我

You wouldn't know Bernadette

你不会认识伯纳黛特

You wouldn't be dating Penny You don't know that

-你也不会跟佩妮交往上 -这很难说

I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years

我是芝士蛋糕工厂多年的常客

I could have picked her up

我本来就有机会泡上她

Oh you weren't joking

你不是开玩笑啊

当然不是

Okay sweetie let me tell you

宝贝让我告诉你

exactly how that would have gone down

当年如果只靠你自己会怎么发展吧

I'm gonna do it I'm gonna ask her out

我要上了我要去约她

I'm gonna squirt chocolate milk out of my nipples

巧克力奶还会从我乳头喷出来呢

Sorry I thought we're saying things

抱歉我还以为我们说的是

that are never gonna happen

永远不可能发生事

Maybe this time he's going to do it

或许这次他真开得了口

Hope you're thirsty here it comes

希望你刚好口渴我要喷奶啦

Watch me

看好了

Hey you guys ready to order or you need a few minutes

你们准备好要点菜了还是要再等一会

I uh ah um I

我那个...

A few minutes it is

那就是再等一会

You didn't ask her out but that was a lot of sounds

虽然没成功但也比平时多发出了点声音

You guys are making me nervous

你们的存在让我觉得紧张

Fine then go talk to her on your own

那你自己过去跟她说话吧

I will

去就去

Excuse me Yeah

-打扰一下 -怎么了

Hi uh um I'm Leonard

你好我是莱纳德

Really You don't sound so sure

是吗你好像不是很确定哦

No I am he

不我就是他

Uh any anyway um

总之

there's been something I've wanted to ask you

有一件事我很久之前

for a long time Um

就想问你了

What's that Eh uh well

-什么事 -那个...

I was wondering if you're not too busy

我想知道如果你不忙的话

um uh if

你是否...

if you'd be interested in

是否有兴趣

telling me where the restroom is

告诉我洗手间在哪儿

I think you're too late

我觉得来不及了

Come on I would not have peed my pants

拜托我才不会尿裤子呢

She nailed it Sounds about right

-她没说错 -你就会那样

But you forget I did ask you out in real life

但你忘了在现实生活中我的确有约你出去

Which couldn't have happened

如果你不住在她对面

if you didn't live across the hall from her

这事就不会发生

which couldn't have happened without Sheldon

所以说还是得谢谢谢尔顿

Same goes with you guys

你们俩也一样

If Leonard wasn't with Penny

如果莱纳德不跟佩妮在一起

she never would have set you up Doesn't matter

-她就不会给你俩牵红线 -无所谓啊

Bernadette still would've been working at The Cheesecake Factory

伯纳黛特还是会在芝士蛋糕工厂上班

and I still would've been working this beefcake factory

而我还是肌肉猛男一枚

You would've been all over me

你肯定会拜倒在我的高领衫下

Well

这个嘛

Hey Penny can I take that table

佩妮我可以负责那桌吗

Sure why

可以啊为什么

The one in the turtleneck is cute

那个穿高领衫的男生蛮帅的

Open wide

张大嘴

here comes the happy train

美食火车要入山洞啦

Mm hmm chug a chug a yum yum

好吃好吃呜呜

Hang on

别动

You got a you got a little something

你嘴角有东西

Never mind

还是算了吧

Oh man

天啊

that is so us

真像咱俩

You know maybe you and I wouldn't be together

或许我们本来不会在一起

but you wouldn't have done so great yourself

但没我你肯定好不到哪儿去

Why Because I know exactly

-为什么 -因为我清楚知道

the kind of guy you would've ended up with

你最后会跟哪种人在一起

Hey babe

宝贝

Hey Did you remember to pay the rent

你有记得付房租吗

Better I used the money to buy these magic beans

我做了件更棒的事我把钱拿去买魔豆了

Hey he may be an idiot

他或许是个蠢货

but at least he didn't pee himself

但至少他不会尿裤子

Oh hold on

还没说完呢

Aw babe I peed myself

宝贝我尿裤子了

Me too

我也是

The end

剧终

Hi Sheldon

谢尔顿

Everything okay

一切还好吗

No it's not

不好

I've seen things

我看见了可怕的东西

Lady things

女人"那里"

Listen to me

听我说

That is not the way they usually look

那地方通常看上去不是那样

Doesn't matter

不重要了

This is no way to make new humans

这不是创造新人类的途径

People coming out of people

人从人的身体里出来

It's some kind of dirty magic show

就像是下流的魔术表演

Sheldon Lee Cooper

谢尔顿·李·库珀

You get back in this room right now

快给我回来

And bring a mop

顺便拿个拖把

Did you hear that

你听见了吗

A mop

拿拖把

I have two PhDs yet somehow I'm the janitor

我有两个博士学位而现在却成了

of my sister's birth canal

我姐姐产道的清洁工

Hey Sheldon sent us all an e mail

谢尔顿给我们都发了封邮件

"Happy holidays from Texas "

主题是"来自德州的节日问候"

And there's pictures

还有图片呢

Don't open them Do not open them

别打开千万别打开

Oh come on

拜托

Childbirth is a natural beautiful

分娩是一个自然而又美丽的...

Oh it's like someone sawed a cow in half

就像一头牛被人锯成了两半

My father's a gynecologist I think I can handle it

我爸是妇科医生我能承受住

And now I'm gay

我一秒钟被掰"弯"了

You know I was thinking Without Sheldon

我在想如果没有谢尔顿

most of us would have never met

我们大部分人都不会相遇

but Penny would still live across from him

但佩妮还是会住在他的对面

And with Leonard out of the picture

而莱纳德只是个不相干的人

we all know what that would mean

我们都知道这意味着什么

We do

是吗

Hey Sheldon

谢尔顿

Hello

你好

Doing laundry

在洗衣服吗

Of course I'm doing laundry

我当然在洗衣服啊

Saturday night is laundry night

周六晚上是洗衣之夜

and I'm in a laundry room so

而且我在洗衣房

I believe your inference is justified

你的推理是合理的

Oh my inference is justified

我的推理是合理的

Sheldon you are so funny

谢尔顿你好幽默哦

Anyway I need to do my laundry too

对了我也要洗衣服

because these clothes are so dirty

因为这些衣服太脏了

Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who's wearing them

就跟穿它的女孩一样脏[下流]

Okay that's enough

够了别说了

Disagree Keep going

-不要 -继续说

So what do you think

你觉得怎么样

A tad asymmetrical

胸部有点不对称

but nothing to be concerned about

但无须为乳腺癌担心

Please Sheldon I need you

拜托谢尔顿我要你

To what

要我干嘛

To take me

占有我[带我走]

I'm not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt

除非你把衣服穿上不然我哪儿也不会带你去

Come on Sheldon You and me right here

谢尔顿咱俩在这里开搞

Penny for the thousandth time

佩妮我再说第一千次

I'm saving myself for someone special

我要为我的另一半守贞

Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist

或许她是一个戴眼镜的可爱神经学家

with hair the color of mud

泥土颜色的秀发

I think I know how to change your mind

我知道该怎么让你改变主意

That's enough

别说了

I was okay with it

我不介意继续听

How's it going Sheldon

怎么样了谢尔顿

Actually much better

老实说好多了

Oh good Is the baby born yet

太好了孩子出生了吗

I don't know I just got back

我不知道我刚回来

Where'd you go

你去哪里了

My mother asked me to get some towels

我妈让我去弄几条毛巾

I took advantage of the vague request

她又没说去哪弄于是我钻了个空子

and went to Bed Bath & Beyond

跑到连锁寝家具用品店去了

Excuse me I'm on the phone

小声点我在打电话呢

So rude

太没礼貌了

Here's another one Penny

还有一点佩妮

if it weren't for Sheldon

如果不是谢尔顿

you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee

你永远也不会遇见漫画书的传奇斯坦·李

第三季第16集佩妮带谢尔顿去斯坦李家中索要签名

斯坦·李美国漫画界的元老著名作品有《X-men》《蜘蛛侠》等

Great

好吧

At least Leonard Howard and I

至少我和莱纳德还有霍华德

would have always been friends

三个人永远都会是朋友

Hey how come you three never got an apartment together

为什么你们仨不一起租房子呢

We talked about it but Howard was in

我们谈过这事但当时霍华德

a pretty serious relationship with his mom

在谈一段很认真的感情对象是他妈

I lived with her to save money

我跟她住是为了省钱

Yeah you didn't have to buy groceries

是啊你也不用去买菜

'cause you were breast feeding

因为你是母乳喂养

Aw so I guess if it weren't for me

所以如果不是因为我

you'd still be living with her huh

你会还和她住在一起对吗

Not exactly

也不尽然

What do you mean "Not exactly"

"也不尽然"是什么意思

Well things would be a little different

情况还是会有些不一样

Howard where's my lunch

霍华德我的午饭呢

I'm starving

老娘快饿死了

I know you're starving

我知道你快饿死了

The neighbors know you're starving

邻居们都知道你快饿死了

There's starving people in Africa who know you're starving

非洲快饿死的百姓都知道你快饿死了

That's it There's not enough food

就这么点吗怎么够我吃啊

Well you cleaned out Earth

你已经把地球上能吃的都吃光了

I don't know what else to do

我去哪给你找食物啊

How is this any different

这和现实有什么不一样

You didn't let me finish

姑且听我讲完

Here you go Mother

午餐来了母亲

You're a good boy Howard

你是个好孩子霍华德

Such a good boy

真是个好孩子

Wait did she die or did you kill her

慢着她是自然死亡还是被你杀了

Eh tomato tomahto The important thing is she's dead

管它寿终正寝还是死于非命重点是她死了

Hey so how come you two didn't move in together

那你们俩为什么不一起租房子呢

This guy wanted a place of his own

这家伙想要独立的空间

because he was sure he was gonna be a ladies' man

因为他确定自己将夜夜流连花丛中

Yeah I was wrong

但我错了

But I do think you and I would have had a great time

但我觉得咱俩做室友一定很开心

Come on Leonard dinner

来吧莱纳德晚餐好了

Coming

来了

Hang on

等等

Why would I be fat

我为什么成肥仔了

You'd have no girlfriend to see you naked

你又没女友看你的裸体

you'd try to fill the void with food

你想用食物填补空虚

and I'm an enabler who once deep fried a pancake

我的油炸煎饼为你创造了变肥的条件

Why can't you be fat too

为什么你不跟着我一起肥呢

What do you want to do for dessert

你想吃什么饭后甜点

I think there's still half a cake from breakfast

早餐还剩下半个蛋糕呢

No there's not

不早吃完啦

Hey guys

伙计们

Stuart

斯图尔特

What are you doing

你这是做什么

我

just wanted to be in anyone's story

只想跑个龙套哪个故事都行

Yeah but why are you fat

但为什么你也是肥仔

'Cause Leonard was fat

因为跟着莱纳德一起肥啊

Amy what about you

艾米你呢

What do you think you'd be doing if you never met Sheldon

如果你不认识谢尔顿生活会是怎样

It's hard to say

很难说

my life would be so different

我的生活会很不同

You can say "better " Sheldon can't hear you

你可以说"更好" 反正谢尔顿听不到

I don't know

我不知道

Happy birthday to me

祝我生日快乐

Happy birthday to me

祝我生日快乐

There's tears in the frosting

糖霜上泪花花

Happy birthday to me

祝我生日快乐

I'll stop now

我不乱入了

情况如何谢尔顿

That's it

结束了

The baby's here

宝宝出生了

It's a boy

是个男孩

Congrats

恭喜啦

Oh thank you

谢谢大家

I wasn't sure I was gonna to make it

我本来不确定能不能挺过去

But my mother gave me some ice chips

但我妈给了我一些冰块

my sister told me to breathe

我姐姐让我大口呼吸

And I just thought to myself "Sheldon

我对自己说 "谢尔顿

if you can make it through the Green Lantern movie

你能撑过看垃圾《绿灯侠》电影而没死

you can make it through this "

你也能挺过这一关"

Well good for you buddy

好样的兄弟

We'll let you get back in there

你快回去吧

Oh no no I'm not going back in there

才不我不会回去了

That baby is so irritating

那个宝宝太令人恼火了

He has literally been crying his entire life

他从一出生整个人生就是在哭

Aw he's already taking after Uncle Shelly

果然是外甥像舅尽得谢利舅舅真传

Come on Sheldon you should go

别这样谢尔顿你应该回去

Why

为什么

Well you always complain that you never

你总是抱怨你在成长过程中

had an intelligent role model growing up

没有一个智慧型的榜样

and now you can be one for your nephew

现在你可以做你外甥的榜样了

Ugh all right I'll go

好吧我去吧

But from what I've seen his attention span

但据我所见他的注意力

is as limited as his bladder control

和他的膀胱控制力一样有限

You actually got him to do it

你能让他乖乖听你的话

Yeah you keep saying

你一直在说

how much Sheldon has affected all of us

谢尔顿对我们的影响有多大

but you've clearly had an impact on him

但显然你也影响了他

If that were true

真是这样的话

I wouldn't still be living alone

我就不会依然独居深闺了

Well not exactly alone

也不算独居

I do have a 50 pound sack of rice

有一个穿着谢尔顿T恤的

with one of Sheldon's T shirts on it

50磅米袋子陪着我

I'm telling you Sheldon cares for you more than you think

听我说谢尔顿比你想象中还要在乎你

I wish I could believe you

我也希望能相信你的话

I also wish there wasn't a mouse

我还希望米袋谢尔顿的身体里

living in Rice Sheldon

没有住着一只老鼠

Hang on I'm gonna give you a little

稍等我提前送你个

early Christmas present

圣诞节小礼物

I'm gonna show you something

我给你看样东西

but if you ever told Sheldon

但如果你告诉谢尔顿

he'd probably never speak to me again

他可能就再也不会理我了

So if you want to tell him that's fine

所以如果你想告诉他我没意见

Look

看

I don't understand

我不明白

He made you his screensaver

他的屏保用的是你的照片

I had no idea

我完全不知道

He is so into me

他超级爱我的

Wait wait where'd I go

慢着我怎么消失了

Oh well it's you Swamp Thing

屏保中有你沼泽怪

Stephen Hawking Spider Man

史蒂芬·霍金蜘蛛侠

but look you're in the mix

但想想看你跻身经典集锦中了

I am in the mix

我跻身经典集锦中了

And I'm the hottest one

而且我是最漂亮的一个

Who's that

这是谁

Oh Madame Curie

居里夫人

That's fine she's dead

没事死人没威胁

You okay

你还好吗

Just really glad you're back

你回来了我好开心

Me too

我也开心

I got a lot of TV to catch up on

我有好多电视剧要补

I missed you

我想你

To quote Han Solo "I know"

引用星战韩·索罗的名言我知道

Did you miss me

你想我吗

I would've preferred to have you there with me

你要是能陪我一起去就好了

是吗

Or instead of me

替我去更好

Did you hold the baby

你抱了宝宝吗

I did

抱了

And

然后呢

How did it make you feel

你有什么感觉

Looking into the blank innocent eyes

看着这个生物

of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend

空洞无知的眼睛完全不理解我说的话

anything I was saying

我能有啥感觉

Basically just another day at the office

基本上和上班时一个感觉

I'm gonna do it

我要出手了

I'm gonna ask her out

我要约她出去

Yeah and chocolate milk is gonna squirt out of my nipples

是啊巧克力奶还会从我乳头喷出来呢

Put up or shut up You make it I'll drink it

要么行动要么闭嘴你喷得出我喝得下

You guys need anything else

你们还需要什么吗

Your phone number and one more cheesecake

你的电话号码再加一块芝士蛋糕

I'm sorry I have a boyfriend

不好意思我有男友了

In fact there he is now

其实呢他已经来了

Ready to go sweetheart

可以走了吗小甜心

Not until I get my kiss

先亲亲才行哦

《生活大爆炸》剧组祝大家节日快乐