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Previously on The Big Bang Theory
《生活大爆炸》 前情提要
We now pronounce you husband and wife
我们现在正式宣布你们成为夫妻
I love this part
我爱死这部分了
Me too
我也爱
I have strongly mixed feelings
我内心五味杂陈啊
So Howard's really in space huh
霍华德真的上太空啦
Mm hmm International Space Station
对啊 在国际太空站呢
250 miles that way
在我们头上250英里外
Right now Howard's staring down at our planet
此时此刻 霍华德正从上方俯视这星球
like a tiny Jewish Greek god
像一个小版的犹太希腊神
Zeusowitz
沃罗威宙斯
I must admit
我不得不承认
I can't help but feel a twinge of envy
我心里实在是有点小嫉妒
He can look out the window
他只需往窗外一看
and see the majesty of the universe
壮丽宏伟的宇宙
unfolding before his eyes
便尽收眼底
His dim uncomprehending eyes
尽收他那浑浊愚昧的眼底
It's like a cat in an airport carrying case
就像放在机场宠物运输箱里的猫
You know it's not exactly glamorous up there
其实在太空也没这么好啦
The water that the astronauts drink
宇航员所喝的水
is made from each other's recycled urine
都是过滤其他宇航员的尿得来的
Must be nice
感觉一定不错
Nobody wants anything that comes out of me
我身上排出的各种液体都没人想要
I wonder what he's doing right this very second
真好奇此时此刻他在太空干嘛
Mm conducting experiments in zero gravity
在零重力的状态下做实验
Peering through his telescope at the birth of the cosmos
透过望远镜看着宇宙的生成
Whatever it is we know his life will never be the same
无论是什么 他的生活再也不同了
Howard Can you hear me
霍华德 你听得到我吗
I can hear you without the phone
不用打电话我都能听到你在地球吼
Don't be snippy
别这么暴躁
I'm just excited to talk to my baby
我只是很兴奋能跟我小宝贝说话
I'm excited to talk to you too
我也很兴奋啊
So what's this mishegas about you moving out
有个疯狂的谣言说你要搬走
to go live with the little Polish girl
去跟那个波兰妞同居是怎么回事
How about calling her my wife
你就不能称呼她为我老婆吗
Wives don't take boys from their mothers
老婆才不会害人家母子分离
They do That's why we marry them
就是因为她们会 所以才要娶她们
I just hope I'm not dead from a broken heart
我只希望在你回来之前
before you get back
我没有心碎而亡
Ma please
妈 别这样
Everyone from NASA is listening to this phone call
太空总署的人都在听我们讲电话
Good They should know what a horrible son you are
很好 这样他们就知道你有多不孝了
Okay Ma great talking to you Gotta go
好啦 妈 下次再聊 挂啦
Well space is ruined
太空之旅 被毁得一干二净
By aBu 201705
生活大爆炸 第六季 第一集
This is so exciting
好兴奋哦
Soon my upper lip will be the same fake blonde
我唇上的汗毛很快会跟我美丽好友一样
as my beautiful best friend
有着好看的假金色了
Hey this is my natural hair color
我天生就是这个色
Now
好吧 现在
So does Sheldon have anything special
谢尔顿有替你们俩明晚
planned for you tomorrow night
做什么特殊安排吗
Oh yes According to the Relationship Agreement
当然有 根据恋爱协议
on the anniversary of our first date
我们的首次约会周年纪念日
he must take me to a nice dinner
他得带我去吃顿好的
ask about my day
关心我那天的生活琐事
and engage in casual physical contact
然后对我做出一些肢体接触
that a disinterested onlooker might mistake for intimacy
是让旁观者都觉得我们很亲密的那种哦
That's hot
香艳火辣啊
You kids better use protection
记得使用"防护措施"哦
How long does this stay on
这得等多久
Just a couple of minutes
就几分钟吧
You've really never done this before
你以前没试过染汗毛吗
Once in high school but I dozed off
高中时候试过一次 后来打盹
and woke up with second degree chemical burns on my face
醒来之后 我脸上就二级化学灼伤了
Oh my gosh that's awful
天啊 那也太惨了吧
The other kids make fun of you
其他同学有取笑你吗
No I had a cover story
没有 我编了借口
I told everyone it was herpes
我说那是疱疹[性病]
So how's everything going with you and Leonard
那你跟莱纳德一切如何啊
I don't know it's still kind of weird
不知道 还是有点怪
We haven't really recovered since he proposed to me
他上次的做爱中乱求婚的事
in the middle of sex
我们还没缓过来
Oh Boo hoo
你倒好
If Sheldon proposed to me during sex
要是谢尔顿在我们做爱的时候求婚
my ovaries would grab on to him
我的子宫一定会紧紧夹住他那里
and never let go
不放他走
Leonard where do you stand on the anthropic principle
莱纳德 你同不同意人择原理
Interesting question
这问题有意思
On the one hand I always thought
一方面来说 我一直...
You don't even know what it is do you
你根本就不知道那是什么 对吧
The anthropic principle states that if we wish to explain
人择原理指出如果我们想解释
why our universe exists the way it does
为何宇宙是我们看到的这种样子
the answer is that it must have qualities
那会是因为它必须像现在这样
that allow intelligent creatures to arise
演化出能问出这道问题的智慧生物
who are capable of asking the question
才会有这个问题的出现
As I am doing so eloquently right now
而我现在就正问着这问题呢
I know what the anthropic principle is
我知道人择原理是什么
Of course I just explained it to you
当然啊 我刚给你解释完
Now where do you stand on it
那你是同意还是反对呢
Where do you stand on it Strongly pro
-你同意吗 -非常同意
Then I believe that God created the world in six days
那我就相信是神花了六天创世
and on the seventh he made you to annoy me
然后在第七天 造了你来烦我
Hey guys
你们俩好啊
Yeah wait Raj
对了 拉杰
where do you stand on the anthropic principle
你同不同意人择原理呢
I'm all for it Attaboy
-完全同意 -好孩子
Well hang on Why do you believe
等等 为什么你觉得他懂
that he knows what it is and I don't
而我不懂什么是人择原理呢
Oh Leonard Let's not take a saw
莱纳德 还是别了吧
to the branch we're sitting on shall we
这说出来多伤感情啊
Hey uh if you guys are free tonight
你们俩如果今晚有空
I heard about a SPA where you soak your feet
我听说有家SPA 你可以一边泡脚
in a pool full of little fish
水里还会有小鱼
that eat all the dead skin right off them
帮你吃掉你脚上的死皮哦
I don't need to tell you in Los Angeles
不用我说你们也知道 在洛杉矶
sandal season is year round
全年都是拖鞋季
Actually I'm hanging out with Penny Oh okay
-其实我跟佩妮有约了 -好吧
Sounds like it's me and you Sheldon
那就剩咱俩去了 谢尔顿
How about we sic some guppies on those puppies
一起去让小鱼帮我们打磨一下脚吧
As I've stated before on numerous occasions
我说过无数次了
the only sea creature I would even consider being eaten by
我唯一能接受被它吃掉的海洋生物
is the Kraken
就是北海巨妖
because the last words I would hear are
因为我死前听到的最后一句话是
"Release the Kraken "
"放北海巨妖"[电影《诸神之战》台词]
That never gets old
这句话百听不厌
"Release the Kraken "
"放北海巨妖"
Oh chills
好怕怕哟
Besides I'm having dinner with Amy
再说了 我要跟艾米吃晚餐
Oh okay I'll just go home and be alone
好吧 那我回家一个人待着好了
W Which is cool
这样也蛮好
I eat alone I sleep alone I cry alone so
我一个人吃 一个人睡 一个人默默流泪
Cool
蛮好
Darn
真可惜
If you weren't busy I'd ask you to join us
如果你不忙 我还想请你跟我们一起晚餐呢
Really I can come Thanks
真的吗 我可以去吗 谢谢
Sheldon are you sure you want to be bringing Raj
谢尔顿 你跟艾米的约会之夜
on your date night with Amy
你确定要带拉杰去吗
Oh absolutely
当然
I have a contractual obligation to provide Amy with conversation
根据契约规定 我得跟艾米聊天
and casual physical contact
并有肢体接触
but nowhere is it specified
但是没有地方明确指出
that I can't outsource that to an Indian
我不能把这项义务外包给印度人
Howie
华仔
Howie
华仔
Hey there's my beautiful bride
我美丽的新娘子
Can you see me
你可以看见我吗
I can How are you
可以 你还好吗
I'm amazing
棒极了
I mean this is even better than I dreamed
而且是比我梦想中的还要棒
I look out the window and it's all so unbelievable
当我看出窗外 一切都是那么难以置信
Good for you
那就好
I just had a seemingly endless dinner with your mom
我刚跟你妈吃了一顿没完没了的晚餐
Oh yeah That's nice
是吗 那不错啊
It was Until I found out you never told her
一开始还不错 直到我发现你没告诉她
we're not gonna live with her
我们要搬出去住
Let's talk about that for a minute
咱们来好好聊聊这件事吧
Hey look this pen is floating
快看 这根笔在飘浮耶
How crazy is that
很不可思议吧
You said you told her but you never did
你说过会告诉她 可你没有
Okay okay I know you're upset but
好吧 我知道你很失望 可...
let me share something I've learned since I got here
不如我跟你分享下 我来这学到的道理吧
You realize how small your problems are
当你从太空中往下看地球时
when you're looking down on them from space
你会意识到自己的难题 根本微不足道
Now come on that's got to make you feel better
拜托 听完之后应该开心点了吧
How clear is the image of me on that screen
你在屏幕上看我有多清晰呀
Pretty clear
蛮清晰的
Do I look like I feel better
我看起来像有开心点吗
I mean it's not like HD quality
也没有到高清画质啦
Listen mister you're gonna talk to your mother
你给我听好了 快去跟你妈妈说
and you're gonna fix this or that thing I said
把这件事给老娘处理好 不然之前答应你
I was gonna do to you the minute you got home
你一回家就给你的"服务"
you can do to yourself
你就准备"自己来"吧
Like he's been doing since he got here
打从他上太空 就没少"来"过
Sheldon this place is so romantic
谢尔顿 这地方好浪漫啊
Oh I'm glad you like it
很高兴你喜欢
Raj picked it out
是拉杰选的
Well when you see him tell him I say thank you
你下次看见他 帮我说声谢谢
Tell him yourself
你可以自己跟他说
Over here
这边这边
I don't understand What's he doing here
我不懂 他在这里干嘛
I invited him
是我邀请他的
On our date
来当电灯泡吗
Sheldon that's not okay
谢尔顿 这样属于违约
Yes it is
才没有
There's a loophole in the Relationship Agreement
我们的恋爱协议有个漏洞
You found a loophole
你居然发现了个漏洞
Sorry I started without you I'm a little nervous
抱歉我先点了 我有点小紧张
It's been a long time since I've been on a date
我很久没约过会了
I can't believe I bleached my mustache for this
真不敢相信我居然为了今天 漂白了胡子
You should go to my girl
你应该找我那个美容师
She'll knock out those sideburns for free
她还能免费帮你把鬓脚修掉
You know Amy I don't even think
艾米 我觉得
you and I have had a real conversation
我们俩都没好好聊过
Let's use tonight to get to know each other a little better
不如今晚就让我们加深对彼此的了解吧
You start
你先开始
Go home
滚回家
I don't understand
我没听懂
Sheldon how could you do this
谢尔顿 你怎么能这样呢
It's our second anniversary
这是我们的两周年纪念日
It's your anniversary
今天是你们的纪念日啊
Oh my God I had no idea
天啊 我真的不知道
Amy please let me make this right
艾米 拜托让我将功补过
Thank you
谢谢
My pleasure Waiter
这是我的荣幸 服务员
A bottle of champagne and three glasses
香槟一瓶 杯子三个
Oh boy isn't this romantic
天啊 这是不是很浪漫呀
Oh I hope that's a rhetorical question
我希望这是个反问句
because I have no clue
因为我真不知道浪不浪漫
This is great What's the occasion
真棒 今天是什么日子
No occasion
什么都不是
You know things have been a little weird between us
你也知道 我们最近关系有点怪怪的
so I wanted to throw together a fun night just for you
所以我想为你准备一个开心的夜晚
That is so sweet I got all your favorites
-太贴心了 -我准备了你爱吃的
Beer wings sliders
啤酒 鸡翅 小汉堡
We can watch the football game
我们可以看橄榄球比赛
I even painted my stomach
我还在我肚皮上写字了呢
"Go sports"
"体育万岁"
in case you were in the mood for baseball
以防你突然想换成看棒球
I didn't want to look ridiculous
这样我什么球赛都可以加油到
This is awesome I love it
这太棒了 我超喜欢的
Good I'm glad
你开心我也开心
Gosh I worked my ass off today
天啊 我今天累死了
This is exactly what I needed
正好需要轻松一下
Great Just relax and enjoy
太棒了 那放松享受吧
Tonight is all about you
今晚你就是主角
Ah thank you
谢谢你
So where exactly are we in this relationship
所以我俩之间的关系到底算是什么状况
Oh come on
唉 你又来了
I just told you I had a hard day
我刚跟你说了今天很累
You're right I'm sorry Let's watch the game
对对 我错了 看球看球
Great
对嘛
I just know the longer we wait to talk about it the weirder it gets
但这事拖越久不谈只会变得更尴尬
Sweetie can I just be the girl tonight
亲爱的 我今晚就不能做个幸福小女生吗
Absolutely You're the girl I'm the guy
当然可以 你是小女生 我是小男孩
Now you watch your football game
那你看球
while I make you a little plate here Thank you
-我给你盛碟好吃的 -谢谢
Oh I'll get it
我来开
Go sports
体育万岁
Hello lo lo
你好哟
What are you doing here
你在这儿干嘛
I thought you were out th Sheldon and Amy
你不是跟谢尔顿和艾米在一起吗
I was but it's their anniversary
本来是的 但这是人家周年纪念
and I didn't want to be a third wheel
我不想当电灯泡
so I figured I'd come over here
所以就想着来这儿
and hang out with you and Penny on your date
参合你和佩妮的约会
Well it's not really a great time
现在不大方便
Penny and I have some things we need to talk about
佩妮和我要谈些事情
No we don't Come on in
才不呢 进来吧
Sweet
真棒
I can't believe I shaved my stomach for this
难以置信 我居然为了这个把肚皮上的毛给刮了
Hey Froot Loops
嘿 果麦圈客
You got a phone call
有电话找
Who is it
谁啊
A woman who says she's your mother
说是你妈
but sounds like your father
听像你爸
Hey Ma
You know we could see each other
如果你把电脑打开的话
if you turn on the computer
我们其实可以看到对方的
I'm not going near that fakakta thing
我才不会接近那坨垃圾呢
I'll catch a computer virus
我会感染电脑病毒的
You can't catch a computer virus
你是不会感染电脑病毒的
Oh so now you're an astronaut and a doctor
所以你现在既是宇航员还是医生了吗
What do you want Ma
你想说啥啊 妈
Your wife says you have something important to tell me
你老婆说你有重要事情告诉我
Okay here it is
好吧 是这样
Bernadette and I are starting a life together and
伯纳黛特和我要开始共同生活 然后
Oh God You are gonna leave me
老天啊 你要弃我而去啦
Ma
It's okay
没关系的
Your father left me you left me
你爸离开我 你也这样
I guess I'm just the kind of person people like to leave
我就是那种别人想要抛弃的人
It's not definite
这不...还没定呢
I'll talk to Bernadette
我会和伯纳黛特商量的
Don't bother
不用你废心了
I'll just go sit in a hole in the ground
我还是地上挖个坑住着
so I'm no trouble when I die
死了也省事儿
Stop it Ma
别说了 妈
I'm sure I can get Bernie to come around
我肯定能带着小妮妮常回家看看的
I knew it
我就知道
I knew she was behind this
她是幕后黑手
You listen to me if you want to be a man
你听着 要当纯爷们儿
you can't let a woman tell you what to do
你就不能让女人对你指手划脚
Okay okay
好了好了
I can't believe these people won the Cold War
难以置信 这些人居然赢了冷战
Now can we please change the subject
现在你能换个话题吗
Fine
好吧
Explain why you've been gone so long
那你给我解释解释为啥走了这么久
and I haven't gotten a single letter
我没收到过一封信
Not even a lousy postcard
连张便宜明信片都没有
You know I'm growing to like American football
我开始越来越喜欢橄榄球了
Yeah it's fun isn't it
挺有意思的对吧么
Well it's not the balls to the wall action of badminton or cricket
虽然没羽毛球或板球这么热血[印度热门运动]
but hey
不过嘛
what is
也不必那么苛求
All right who's ready for another beer
好吧 谁还要再来一瓶啤酒
I'm good No thank you
-我还有 -不用了 谢谢
Girls
娘炮
I am having the nicest time
这是我最美好的时光
You guys are like family to me
你们就像我的家人
You know that right
你懂的 对吧
That's great Get out
很好 滚吧
What Why
为什么
Penny and I have some issues we need to talk about
佩妮和我有些事儿需要谈谈
Pish on your issues
屁大的事儿啊
You guys are fine
你们没问题的
Yes you hit some bumps along the way
没错 你一路上是遇到了点障碍
I mean Penny
还有 佩妮
you've always known how this man has felt about you
你也知道这个男人对你的感情
but you made him grovel for affection
但你却总让他祈求你的关爱
Okay hold on
等等
Now don't blame yourself
别内疚
He was a groveler from way back
他从来都是祈求者
But the point is the two of you got past it
但我的意思是 你们俩总要跨过去的
And Leonard you go and propose
莱纳德 你滚床单滚一半
to this poor girl in the middle of sex
对这可怜的女娃求婚
That was some weak tea dude
实在是弱爆了 老兄
Some people might say it was romantic
有些人也许会觉得浪漫呢
Yeah no
不可能
But yet here you two are still together
但你看你俩现在还在一起
And that's even after you and I had our crazy naked night
甚至还是在我俩激情一裸的那晚之后
Okay That's enough
够了够了
I'm just saying
我是说
that after everything you've been through
在你俩同甘共苦这么久之后
you get to look into each other's eyes
总能互相凝望
and say "I love you "
说声"我爱你"
And that's beautiful
这是多么的美好
Actually to this day she's never really said it
事实上到现在为止她还没说过
Oh Penny That's ridiculous
佩妮 这太荒谬了
You know you love him
你心里知道你爱她的
You look him in the eyes and you say it
你看着他的眼睛然后说出来
Raj Oh come on
-拉杰 -别这样
you know you want to say it Say it
你知道你想说的 说出来吧
Say you love him
说你爱他
Say it
快说啊
I really thought she would say it
我真以为她一定会说呢
Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis
我有没有跟你说过你像性感的螳螂
Every time you drink alcohol
每次喝了酒你都会说
You know what's wonderful about the praying mantis
你知道螳螂的妙处在哪里吗
They devour their mate
它们会吃掉自己的配偶
Your point being
你意思是...
Dessert is served
"甜点"上桌
I just had cobbler
我刚吃完果馅饼呢
You know what
知道吗
I'm done with this
我受够了
W Where are you going
你去哪里啊
I'm leaving
我走人
You can't leave
你不能走
I need you
我需要你
You do
你需要我吗
Yes
是的
You're my ride
你是我的司机
Sheldon you either say something meaningful
谢尔顿 你最好真心地说些甜言蜜语
and from the heart or you and I are done
不然咱俩就此结束
All right
好吧
Please
请坐
Amy
艾米
when I look in your eyes
当我看着你的双眼
and you're looking back in mine
而你也深情看着我时
everything feels not quite normal
一切都好像变得特别了
because I feel
因为我
stronger and weaker at the same time
感觉自己变得更强大 同时也更软弱
I feel excited and at the same time terrified
我感到激情澎湃的同时 也胆战心惊
The truth is
事实是
I don't know what I feel except
我不知道自己的真实感觉 但是
I know what kind of man I want to be
我知道自己想做一个怎样的男人
Sheldon
谢尔顿
that was beautiful
我好感动
I should hope so
我也希望有这效果
That's from the first Spider Man movie
这是《蜘蛛侠I》里的经典台词
I'll take it
我受领了
Good
很好
Now I assume we're splitting the check
现在 咱俩该分摊饭钱了吧
Hey Stuart
斯图尔特
Oh hey I was actually just about to close up
来啦 我正准备打烊
Oh I'm sorry I'll leave
不好意思 我这就走
No no It's okay Hang out
不用 没事 随便看
You sure
这样好吗
Yeah you're my first customer today
没关系 你是今天我这里的头位顾客
All right Great
好的 太好了
I'm uh having a nightcap
我正准备来点睡前小酒
You want to join me
要一起来一杯吗
What are you drinking
你喝的是什么
Coffee liqueur in a Chewbacca mug
用楚巴卡马克杯喝咖啡利口酒
I call it a sad tini
我管这个叫"悲催马天尼"
Perfect for the night I'm having Thank you
我今晚喝这个正应景 多谢
Hmm Nice not to drink alone
有人陪着喝酒感觉真好
Amen to that
那还用说
Sometimes I pour
有时候我会往
a little chardonnay into my dog's water bowl
我家小狗的水碗里倒点霞多丽葡萄酒
You're kidding
真的假的
She's kind of a mean drunk but what are you gonna do
它喝醉了有点难缠 但总比独醉得好
Cheers
干杯
Cheers
干杯
A little music Sure
-来点音乐助兴 -好啊
Bossa nova
芭沙风情[新派爵士乐]
You listen to that with your hips as well as your ears
听这个要用耳朵和屁股一起感受
Mmm
正是
Something about
拉丁风情的音乐里
Latin music just makes me feel like
那种调调能让我陶醉到
I'm on a white sand beach in Rio
犹如置身里约热内卢的白沙滩
Yeah
没错
The sun the waves the beautiful bodies
艳阳 波涛 娇躯
tanned and glistening with sweat
麦色的皮肤 晶莹的汗水
I should go Yeah
-我该走了 -不送了
Uh thank you for the drink
谢谢你请我喝酒
No problem
甭客气
Hey Stuart Yeah
-斯图尔特 -啥事儿
Do you want to hang out tomorrow night
你想不想 明晚咱们出去玩玩
maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie
一起吃个饭 看个晚场电影什么的
Yeah I I'd like to but I'm a little tight on funds
我很乐意 但我手头有点紧
No problem My treat
没事 我请客
I'll swing by after work
我下班后过来
Okay
好的
Okay
说定了
I could do worse
我还能更没下限一点
Aw that's such good news Howie
这真是个好消息 华仔
Thank you for telling her
多谢你告诉她
Hey I'm a grown man I'm gonna live with my wife
我可是男子汉 当然得跟老婆一起住了
My mother's just gonna have to learn to make do on her own
我老妈只能学着接受一个人过日子了
Was she upset
她生气了吗
Who can tell She yells everything
谁知道啊 怒吼是她的正常语气
She might have been upset
她可能生气了
She might have been hungry
她可能是饿了
Thanks for fixing it
多谢你搞定这事
I love you
我爱你
I love you too
我也爱你
Sweet dreams I'll talk to you tomorrow
做个好梦哦 明天再聊
Good night Rocket Man
晚安 火箭男
To infinity and beyond baby
飞向宇宙 浩瀚无垠 宝贝[巴斯光年名句]
Loops
圈客
You realize you just lied your ass off
你知道自己现在是老妈老婆
to your wife and your mother
两头瞒吗
I know
我知道
What are you gonna do when you get back to Earth
你回到地球后打算咋办
Oh I'm never going back
瞧你说的 我在这儿安家了