生活大爆炸-S06E01_生活大爆炸

S01

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

We now pronounce you husband and wife

我们现在正式宣布你们成为夫妻

I love this part

我爱死这部分了

Me too

我也爱

I have strongly mixed feelings

我内心五味杂陈啊

So Howard's really in space huh

霍华德真的上太空啦

Mm hmm International Space Station.

对啊在国际太空站呢

250 miles that way.

在我们头上250英里外

Right now Howard's staring down at our planet

此时此刻霍华德正从上方俯视这星球

like a tiny Jewish Greek god.

像一个小版的犹太希腊神

Zeusowitz.

沃罗威宙斯

I must admit

我不得不承认

I can't help but feel a twinge of envy.

我心里实在是有点小嫉妒

He can look out the window

他只需往窗外一看

and see the majesty of the universe

壮丽宏伟的宇宙

unfolding before his eyes.

便尽收眼底

His dim uncomprehending eyes.

尽收他那浑浊愚昧的眼底

It's like a cat in an airport carrying case.

就像放在机场宠物运输箱里的猫

You know it's not exactly glamorous up there.

其实在太空也没这么好啦

The water that the astronauts drink

宇航员所喝的水

is made from each other's recycled urine.

都是过滤其他宇航员的尿得来的

Must be nice.

感觉一定不错

Nobody wants anything that comes out of me.

我身上排出的各种液体都没人想要

I wonder what he's doing right this very second.

真好奇此时此刻他在太空干嘛

Mm conducting experiments in zero gravity.

在零重力的状态下做实验

Peering through his telescope at the birth of the cosmos.

透过望远镜看着宇宙的生成

Whatever it is we know his life will never be the same.

无论是什么他的生活再也不同了

Howard Can you hear me

霍华德你听得到我吗

I can hear you without the phone

不用打电话我都能听到你在地球吼

Don't be snippy.

别这么暴躁

I'm just excited to talk to my baby

我只是很兴奋能跟我小宝贝说话

I'm excited to talk to you too.

我也很兴奋啊

So what's this mishegas about you moving out

有个疯狂的谣言说你要搬走

to go live with the little Polish girl

去跟那个波兰妞同居是怎么回事

How about calling her my wife

你就不能称呼她为我老婆吗

Wives don't take boys from their mothers.

老婆才不会害人家母子分离

They do. That's why we marry them

就是因为她们会所以才要娶她们

I just hope I'm not dead from a broken heart

我只希望在你回来之前

before you get back.

我没有心碎而亡

Ma please.

妈别这样

Everyone from NASA is listening to this phone call.

太空总署的人都在听我们讲电话

Good. They should know what a horrible son you are

很好这样他们就知道你有多不孝了

Okay Ma great talking to you Gotta go

好啦妈下次再聊挂啦

Well... space is ruined.

太空之旅被毁得一干二净

By aBu 201705

生活大爆炸第六季第一集

This is so exciting.

好兴奋哦

Soon my upper lip will be the same fake blonde

我唇上的汗毛很快会跟我美丽好友一样

as my beautiful best friend.

有着好看的假金色了

Hey this is my natural hair color.

我天生就是这个色

Now.

好吧现在

So does Sheldon have anything special

谢尔顿有替你们俩明晚

planned for you tomorrow night

做什么特殊安排吗

Oh yes. According to the Relationship Agreement

当然有根据恋爱协议

on the anniversary of our first date

我们的首次约会周年纪念日

he must take me to a nice dinner

他得带我去吃顿好的

ask about my day

关心我那天的生活琐事

and engage in casual physical contact

然后对我做出一些肢体接触

that a disinterested onlooker might mistake for intimacy.

是让旁观者都觉得我们很亲密的那种哦

That's hot.

香艳火辣啊

You kids better use protection.

记得使用"防护措施"哦

How long does this stay on

这得等多久

Just a couple of minutes.

就几分钟吧

You've really never done this before

你以前没试过染汗毛吗

Once in high school but I dozed off

高中时候试过一次后来打盹

and woke up with second degree chemical burns on my face.

醒来之后我脸上就二级化学灼伤了

Oh my gosh that's awful.

天啊那也太惨了吧

The other kids make fun of you

其他同学有取笑你吗

No I had a cover story

没有我编了借口

I told everyone it was herpes.

我说那是疱疹[性病]

So how's everything going with you and Leonard

那你跟莱纳德一切如何啊

I don't know it's still kind of weird.

不知道还是有点怪

We haven't really recovered since he proposed to me

他上次的做爱中乱求婚的事

in the middle of sex.

我们还没缓过来

Oh. Boo hoo.

你倒好

If Sheldon proposed to me during sex

要是谢尔顿在我们做爱的时候求婚

my ovaries would grab on to him

我的子宫一定会紧紧夹住他那里

and never let go.

不放他走

Leonard where do you stand on the anthropic principle

莱纳德你同不同意人择原理

Interesting question.

这问题有意思

On the one hand I always thought...

一方面来说我一直...

You don't even know what it is do you

你根本就不知道那是什么对吧

The anthropic principle states that if we wish to explain

人择原理指出如果我们想解释

why our universe exists the way it does

为何宇宙是我们看到的这种样子

the answer is that it must have qualities

那会是因为它必须像现在这样

that allow intelligent creatures to arise

演化出能问出这道问题的智慧生物

who are capable of asking the question.

才会有这个问题的出现

As I am doing so eloquently right now.

而我现在就正问着这问题呢

I know what the anthropic principle is.

我知道人择原理是什么

Of course. I just explained it to you.

当然啊我刚给你解释完

Now where do you stand on it

那你是同意还是反对呢

Where do you stand on it Strongly pro.

-你同意吗 -非常同意

Then I believe that God created the world in six days

那我就相信是神花了六天创世

and on the seventh he made you to annoy me.

然后在第七天造了你来烦我

Hey guys.

你们俩好啊

Yeah wait Raj

对了拉杰

where do you stand on the anthropic principle

你同不同意人择原理呢

I'm all for it. Attaboy

-完全同意 -好孩子

Well hang on. Why do you believe

等等为什么你觉得他懂

that he knows what it is and I don't

而我不懂什么是人择原理呢

Oh Leonard. Let's not take a saw

莱纳德还是别了吧

to the branch we're sitting on shall we

这说出来多伤感情啊

Hey uh if you guys are free tonight

你们俩如果今晚有空

I heard about a SPA where you soak your feet

我听说有家SPA 你可以一边泡脚

in a pool full of little fish

水里还会有小鱼

that eat all the dead skin right off them.

帮你吃掉你脚上的死皮哦

I don't need to tell you in Los Angeles

不用我说你们也知道在洛杉矶

sandal season is year round.

全年都是拖鞋季

Actually I'm hanging out with Penny. Oh okay.

-其实我跟佩妮有约了 -好吧

Sounds like it's me and you Sheldon.

那就剩咱俩去了谢尔顿

How about we sic some guppies on those puppies

一起去让小鱼帮我们打磨一下脚吧

As I've stated before on numerous occasions

我说过无数次了

the only sea creature I would even consider being eaten by

我唯一能接受被它吃掉的海洋生物

is the Kraken

就是北海巨妖

because the last words I would hear are

因为我死前听到的最后一句话是

"Release the Kraken."

"放北海巨妖"[电影《诸神之战》台词]

That never gets old.

这句话百听不厌

"Release the Kraken "

"放北海巨妖"

Oh chills.

好怕怕哟

Besides I'm having dinner with Amy.

再说了我要跟艾米吃晚餐

Oh okay. I'll just go home and be alone.

好吧那我回家一个人待着好了

W Which is cool.

这样也蛮好

I eat alone I sleep alone I cry alone so...

我一个人吃一个人睡一个人默默流泪

Cool.

蛮好

Darn.

真可惜

If you weren't busy I'd ask you to join us.

如果你不忙我还想请你跟我们一起晚餐呢

Really I can come Thanks

真的吗我可以去吗谢谢

Sheldon are you sure you want to be bringing Raj

谢尔顿你跟艾米的约会之夜

on your date night with Amy

你确定要带拉杰去吗

Oh absolutely.

当然

I have a contractual obligation to provide Amy with conversation

根据契约规定我得跟艾米聊天

and casual physical contact

并有肢体接触

but nowhere is it specified

但是没有地方明确指出

that I can't outsource that to an Indian.

我不能把这项义务外包给印度人

Howie

华仔

Howie

华仔

Hey there's my beautiful bride

我美丽的新娘子

Can you see me

你可以看见我吗

I can. How are you

可以你还好吗

I'm amazing.

棒极了

I mean this is even better than I dreamed.

而且是比我梦想中的还要棒

I look out the window and... it's all so unbelievable.

当我看出窗外一切都是那么难以置信

Good for you.

那就好

I just had a seemingly endless dinner with your mom.

我刚跟你妈吃了一顿没完没了的晚餐

Oh yeah That's nice.

是吗那不错啊

It was. Until I found out you never told her

一开始还不错直到我发现你没告诉她

we're not gonna live with her.

我们要搬出去住

Let's talk about that for a minute.

咱们来好好聊聊这件事吧

Hey look this pen is floating.

快看这根笔在飘浮耶

How crazy is that

很不可思议吧

You said you told her but you never did

你说过会告诉她可你没有

Okay okay I know you're upset but...

好吧我知道你很失望可...

let me share something I've learned since I got here.

不如我跟你分享下我来这学到的道理吧

You realize how small your problems are

当你从太空中往下看地球时

when you're looking down on them from space.

你会意识到自己的难题根本微不足道

Now come on that's got to make you feel better.

拜托听完之后应该开心点了吧

How clear is the image of me on that screen

你在屏幕上看我有多清晰呀

Pretty clear.

蛮清晰的

Do I look like I feel better

我看起来像有开心点吗

I mean it's not like HD quality.

也没有到高清画质啦

Listen mister you're gonna talk to your mother

你给我听好了快去跟你妈妈说

and you're gonna fix this or that thing I said

把这件事给老娘处理好不然之前答应你

I was gonna do to you the minute you got home

你一回家就给你的"服务"

you can do to yourself.

你就准备"自己来"吧

Like he's been doing since he got here.

打从他上太空就没少"来"过

Sheldon this place is so romantic.

谢尔顿这地方好浪漫啊

Oh I'm glad you like it.

很高兴你喜欢

Raj picked it out.

是拉杰选的

Well when you see him tell him I say thank you.

你下次看见他帮我说声谢谢

Tell him yourself.

你可以自己跟他说

Over here

这边这边

I don't understand. What's he doing here

我不懂他在这里干嘛

I invited him.

是我邀请他的

On our date

来当电灯泡吗

Sheldon that's not okay.

谢尔顿这样属于违约

Yes it is.

才没有

There's a loophole in the Relationship Agreement.

我们的恋爱协议有个漏洞

You found a loophole

你居然发现了个漏洞

Sorry I started without you. I'm a little nervous.

抱歉我先点了我有点小紧张

It's been a long time since I've been on a date.

我很久没约过会了

I can't believe I bleached my mustache for this.

真不敢相信我居然为了今天漂白了胡子

You should go to my girl.

你应该找我那个美容师

She'll knock out those sideburns for free.

她还能免费帮你把鬓脚修掉

You know Amy I don't even think

艾米我觉得

you and I have had a real conversation.

我们俩都没好好聊过

Let's use tonight to get to know each other a little better.

不如今晚就让我们加深对彼此的了解吧

You start.

你先开始

Go home.

滚回家

I don't understand.

我没听懂

Sheldon how could you do this

谢尔顿你怎么能这样呢

It's our second anniversary.

这是我们的两周年纪念日

It's your anniversary

今天是你们的纪念日啊

Oh my God I had no idea.

天啊我真的不知道

Amy please let me make this right.

艾米拜托让我将功补过

Thank you.

谢谢

My pleasure. Waiter

这是我的荣幸服务员

A bottle of champagne and three glasses.

香槟一瓶杯子三个

Oh boy isn't this romantic

天啊这是不是很浪漫呀

Oh I hope that's a rhetorical question

我希望这是个反问句

because I have no clue.

因为我真不知道浪不浪漫

This is great. What's the occasion

真棒今天是什么日子

No occasion.

什么都不是

You know things have been a little weird between us

你也知道我们最近关系有点怪怪的

so I wanted to throw together a fun night just for you.

所以我想为你准备一个开心的夜晚

That is so sweet. I got all your favorites.

-太贴心了 -我准备了你爱吃的

Beer wings sliders.

啤酒鸡翅小汉堡

We can watch the football game.

我们可以看橄榄球比赛

I even painted my stomach.

我还在我肚皮上写字了呢

"Go sports"

"体育万岁"

in case you were in the mood for baseball

以防你突然想换成看棒球

I didn't want to look ridiculous.

这样我什么球赛都可以加油到

This is awesome. I love it

这太棒了我超喜欢的

Good I'm glad.

你开心我也开心

Gosh I worked my ass off today.

天啊我今天累死了

This is exactly what I needed.

正好需要轻松一下

Great. Just relax and enjoy.

太棒了那放松享受吧

Tonight is all about you.

今晚你就是主角

Ah thank you

谢谢你

So where exactly are we in this relationship

所以我俩之间的关系到底算是什么状况

Oh come on

唉你又来了

I just told you I had a hard day.

我刚跟你说了今天很累

You're right I'm sorry. Let's watch the game.

对对我错了看球看球

Great.

对嘛

I just know the longer we wait to talk about it the weirder it gets.

但这事拖越久不谈只会变得更尴尬

Sweetie can I just be the girl tonight

亲爱的我今晚就不能做个幸福小女生吗

Absolutely. You're the girl I'm the guy.

当然可以你是小女生我是小男孩

Now you watch your football game

那你看球

while I make you a little plate here. Thank you

-我给你盛碟好吃的 -谢谢

Oh I'll get it.

我来开

Go sports

体育万岁

Hello lo lo.

你好哟

What are you doing here

你在这儿干嘛

I thought you were out th Sheldon and Amy.

你不是跟谢尔顿和艾米在一起吗

I was but it's their anniversary

本来是的但这是人家周年纪念

and I didn't want to be a third wheel

我不想当电灯泡

so I figured I'd come over here

所以就想着来这儿

and hang out with you and Penny on your date.

参合你和佩妮的约会

Well it's not really a great time.

现在不大方便

Penny and I have some things we need to talk about.

佩妮和我要谈些事情

No we don't Come on in

才不呢进来吧

Sweet

真棒

I can't believe I shaved my stomach for this.

难以置信我居然为了这个把肚皮上的毛给刮了

Hey Froot Loops.

嘿果麦圈客

You got a phone call.

有电话找

Who is it

谁啊

A woman who says she's your mother

说是你妈

but sounds like your father.

听像你爸

Hey Ma.

妈

You know we could see each other

如果你把电脑打开的话

if you turn on the computer.

我们其实可以看到对方的

I'm not going near that fakakta thing.

我才不会接近那坨垃圾呢

I'll catch a computer virus

我会感染电脑病毒的

You can't catch a computer virus.

你是不会感染电脑病毒的

Oh so now you're an astronaut and a doctor

所以你现在既是宇航员还是医生了吗

What do you want Ma

你想说啥啊妈

Your wife says you have something important to tell me.

你老婆说你有重要事情告诉我

Okay here it is.

好吧是这样

Bernadette and I are starting a life together and...

伯纳黛特和我要开始共同生活然后

Oh God You are gonna leave me

老天啊你要弃我而去啦

Ma...

妈

It's okay.

没关系的

Your father left me you left me

你爸离开我你也这样

I guess I'm just the kind of person people like to leave.

我就是那种别人想要抛弃的人

It's not... definite.

这不...还没定呢

I'll talk to Bernadette.

我会和伯纳黛特商量的

Don't bother.

不用你废心了

I'll just go sit in a hole in the ground

我还是地上挖个坑住着

so I'm no trouble when I die.

死了也省事儿

Stop it Ma.

别说了妈

I'm sure I can get Bernie to come around.

我肯定能带着小妮妮常回家看看的

I knew it

我就知道

I knew she was behind this

她是幕后黑手

You listen to me if you want to be a man

你听着要当纯爷们儿

you can't let a woman tell you what to do

你就不能让女人对你指手划脚

Okay okay.

好了好了

I can't believe these people won the Cold War.

难以置信这些人居然赢了冷战

Now can we please change the subject

现在你能换个话题吗

Fine.

好吧

Explain why you've been gone so long

那你给我解释解释为啥走了这么久

and I haven't gotten a single letter.

我没收到过一封信

Not even a lousy postcard

连张便宜明信片都没有

You know I'm growing to like American football.

我开始越来越喜欢橄榄球了

Yeah it's fun isn't it

挺有意思的对吧么

Well...it's not the balls to the wall action of badminton or cricket

虽然没羽毛球或板球这么热血[印度热门运动]

but hey...

不过嘛

what is

也不必那么苛求

All right who's ready for another beer

好吧谁还要再来一瓶啤酒

I'm good. No thank you.

-我还有 -不用了谢谢

Girls.

娘炮

I am having the nicest time.

这是我最美好的时光

You guys are like family to me.

你们就像我的家人

You know that right

你懂的对吧

That's great. Get out.

很好滚吧

What Why

为什么

Penny and I have some issues we need to talk about.

佩妮和我有些事儿需要谈谈

Pish on your issues

屁大的事儿啊

You guys are fine.

你们没问题的

Yes you hit some bumps along the way.

没错你一路上是遇到了点障碍

I mean Penny

还有佩妮

you've always known how this man has felt about you

你也知道这个男人对你的感情

but you made him grovel for affection.

但你却总让他祈求你的关爱

Okay hold on...

等等

Now don't blame yourself.

别内疚

He was a groveler from way back.

他从来都是祈求者

But the point is the two of you got past it.

但我的意思是你们俩总要跨过去的

And Leonard you go and propose

莱纳德你滚床单滚一半

to this poor girl in the middle of sex

对这可怜的女娃求婚

That was some weak tea dude.

实在是弱爆了老兄

Some people might say it was romantic.

有些人也许会觉得浪漫呢

Yeah no.

不可能

But yet here you two are still together.

但你看你俩现在还在一起

And that's even after you and I had our crazy naked night.

甚至还是在我俩激情一裸的那晚之后

Okay... That's enough.

够了够了

I'm just saying

我是说

that after everything you've been through

在你俩同甘共苦这么久之后

you get to look into each other's eyes

总能互相凝望

and say "I love you."

说声"我爱你"

And that's beautiful.

这是多么的美好

Actually to this day she's never really said it.

事实上到现在为止她还没说过

Oh Penny That's ridiculous

佩妮这太荒谬了

You know you love him

你心里知道你爱她的

You look him in the eyes and you say it.

你看着他的眼睛然后说出来

Raj... Oh come on

-拉杰 -别这样

you know you want to say it. Say it.

你知道你想说的说出来吧

Say you love him.

说你爱他

Say it

快说啊

I really thought she would say it.

我真以为她一定会说呢

Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis

我有没有跟你说过你像性感的螳螂

Every time you drink alcohol.

每次喝了酒你都会说

You know what's wonderful about the praying mantis

你知道螳螂的妙处在哪里吗

They devour their mate.

它们会吃掉自己的配偶

Your point being

你意思是...

Dessert is served.

"甜点"上桌

I just had cobbler.

我刚吃完果馅饼呢

You know what

知道吗

I'm done with this.

我受够了

W Where are you going

你去哪里啊

I'm leaving.

我走人

You can't leave.

你不能走

I need you.

我需要你

You do

你需要我吗

Yes.

是的

You're my ride.

你是我的司机

Sheldon you either say something meaningful

谢尔顿你最好真心地说些甜言蜜语

and from the heart or you and I are done.

不然咱俩就此结束

All right.

好吧

Please.

请坐

Amy...

艾米

when I look in your eyes

当我看着你的双眼

and you're looking back in mine

而你也深情看着我时

everything feels not quite normal

一切都好像变得特别了

because I feel

因为我

stronger and weaker at the same time.

感觉自己变得更强大同时也更软弱

I feel excited and at the same time terrified.

我感到激情澎湃的同时也胆战心惊

The truth is

事实是

I don't know what I feel except...

我不知道自己的真实感觉但是

I know what kind of man I want to be.

我知道自己想做一个怎样的男人

Sheldon...

谢尔顿

that was beautiful.

我好感动

I should hope so.

我也希望有这效果

That's from the first Spider Man movie.

这是《蜘蛛侠I》里的经典台词

I'll take it.

我受领了

Good.

很好

Now I assume we're splitting the check

现在咱俩该分摊饭钱了吧

Hey Stuart.

斯图尔特

Oh hey. I was actually just about to close up.

来啦我正准备打烊

Oh I'm sorry. I'll leave.

不好意思我这就走

No no. It's okay. Hang out.

不用没事随便看

You sure

这样好吗

Yeah you're my first customer today.

没关系你是今天我这里的头位顾客

All right. Great.

好的太好了

I'm uh having a nightcap.

我正准备来点睡前小酒

You want to join me

要一起来一杯吗

What are you drinking

你喝的是什么

Coffee liqueur in a Chewbacca mug.

用楚巴卡马克杯喝咖啡利口酒

I call it a sad tini.

我管这个叫"悲催马天尼"

Perfect for the night I'm having. Thank you.

我今晚喝这个正应景多谢

Hmm. Nice not to drink alone.

有人陪着喝酒感觉真好

Amen to that.

那还用说

Sometimes I pour

有时候我会往

a little chardonnay into my dog's water bowl.

我家小狗的水碗里倒点霞多丽葡萄酒

You're kidding.

真的假的

She's kind of a mean drunk but what are you gonna do

它喝醉了有点难缠但总比独醉得好

Cheers.

干杯

Cheers.

干杯

A little music Sure.

-来点音乐助兴 -好啊

Bossa nova.

芭沙风情[新派爵士乐]

You listen to that with your hips as well as your ears.

听这个要用耳朵和屁股一起感受

Mmm.

正是

Something about...

拉丁风情的音乐里

Latin music just makes me feel like

那种调调能让我陶醉到

I'm on a white sand beach in Rio.

犹如置身里约热内卢的白沙滩

Yeah.

没错

The sun the waves the beautiful bodies

艳阳波涛娇躯

tanned and glistening with sweat.

麦色的皮肤晶莹的汗水

I should go. Yeah.

-我该走了 -不送了

Uh thank you for the drink.

谢谢你请我喝酒

No problem.

甭客气

Hey Stuart. Yeah

-斯图尔特 -啥事儿

Do you want to... hang out tomorrow night

你想不想明晚咱们出去玩玩

maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie

一起吃个饭看个晚场电影什么的

Yeah I I'd like to but I'm a little tight on funds.

我很乐意但我手头有点紧

No problem. My treat.

没事我请客

I'll swing by after work.

我下班后过来

Okay.

好的

Okay.

说定了

I could do worse.

我还能更没下限一点

Aw that's such good news Howie.

这真是个好消息华仔

Thank you for telling her.

多谢你告诉她

Hey I'm a grown man I'm gonna live with my wife.

我可是男子汉当然得跟老婆一起住了

My mother's just gonna have to learn to make do on her own.

我老妈只能学着接受一个人过日子了

Was she upset

她生气了吗

Who can tell She yells everything.

谁知道啊怒吼是她的正常语气

She might have been upset.

她可能生气了

She might have been hungry.

她可能是饿了

Thanks for fixing it.

多谢你搞定这事

I love you.

我爱你

I love you too.

我也爱你

Sweet dreams. I'll talk to you tomorrow

做个好梦哦明天再聊

Good night Rocket Man.

晚安火箭男

To infinity and beyond baby.

飞向宇宙浩瀚无垠宝贝[巴斯光年名句]

Loops.

圈客

You realize you just lied your ass off

你知道自己现在是老妈老婆

to your wife and your mother.

两头瞒吗

I know.

我知道

What are you gonna do when you get back to Earth

你回到地球后打算咋办

Oh I'm never going back.

瞧你说的我在这儿安家了

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