生活大爆炸-S09E08_生活大爆炸

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Previously on The Big Bang Theory

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

There's no point in dwelling on it

我也不需要纠结这事

As the Vulcans say

借用一句瓦肯人的俗语

"Kup fun tor ha'kiv na'ish du stau "

"人已杀你无力还命"[瓦肯语]

Do you know what that means No

-你懂他的意思吗 -不懂

Are you telling the truth

你说的是实话吗

Nersh

非也[瓦肯语]

This is ridiculous being upset about Amy all the time

这一切都太荒唐了总是为艾米的事伤心

isn't accomplishing anything

不能解决任何问题

If I want to resolve this situation

如果我想解决这件事

then I need to take action

我就要行动起来

What are you gonna do

你要干什么

I'm going to find her and ask her to marry me

我要去找她向她求婚

And if she says yes

如果她答应了

we can put this behind us and resume our relationship

我们就把这事彻底忘掉重新开始

And if she says no

如果她不肯答应

well then she can just ponfo miran

那她就可以去自尽了[瓦肯语]

He didn't mean that

他不是真心的

事到如今

I think it's so adorable you're making Sheldon breakfast

你帮谢尔顿做早饭真是太有爱了

Well he's having a rough time

他现在很难过嘛

Amy broke his heart

艾米伤了他的心

the DVR cut off the last minute of Doctor Who

录《神秘博士》时录少了最后一分钟

that crow followed him home

回家时还被乌鸦跟踪

Aren't you worried you're making French toast on oatmeal day

你不怕在燕麦粥日做法式吐司会出事吗

Ah well what's this A pot of oatmeal

你看这是啥不就是一锅燕麦粥吗

Or thanks to you what I will now call "Gloatmeal "

或者应该谢谢你改称它为"我真牛逼粥"

Oh I don't want credit for that

我可不想跟它沾边

Oh Dr And Mrs Hofstadter

霍夫斯塔德博士贤伉俪

lovely to see you this fine morning

在这美好的早晨很高兴见到两位

You're in a good mood

你心情很好啊

Yeah I am indeed

的确是的

I have decided

我已经决定了

instead of wallowing in sadness about Amy

与其为艾米的事伤神伤心

it is time that I find myself a new female companion

不如抓紧时间为自己找个新女伴

Oh Good for you

那挺好啊

What brought this on

这想法怎么来的

I realized something when Amy was in my life

我意识到了当艾米在我身边时

I was hyper focused on my work and ignored her

我过度专注于工作而忽略了她

And you don't want to make the same mistake with the next woman

你不想对下一个女人重蹈覆辙

No I need a new woman in my life to ignore

不所以我需要一个新女人来被我忽略

so I can hyper focus on my work again

好让我再次过度专注于工作

Hey I made French toast sticks

我做了法式吐司棒

On oatmeal day

燕麦粥日做这个吗

Ah I also made oatmeal

我也做了燕麦粥哦

Ooh that's a lot of carbohydrates for a man on the prowl

对于要猎艳的男人来说太容易长胖了

You know what You eat it you're married

还是你吃吧你结婚了

it doesn't matter what you look like

长成啥样都无所谓了

Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow

千万别听一个用鞋子扔乌鸦的人的建议

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第八集

Thank you for coming by gentlemen

谢谢你们抽空来先生们

No problem

小意思

So what's up

怎么了

Well it was the two of you who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me

是你们两位为我找到艾米·菲拉·福勒

Now that I'm looking for my next girlfriend

现在我在寻觅我下一任女朋友

it seemed only logical

所以我觉得

that I employ your services once again

只有再度请你们出手才合理

Y You sure you're up for that She did hurt you

她伤了你的心你真的能再战了吗

Oh no it's all right

没事的不算什么

I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum

我跟艾米在一起的时光就像水果口香糖

sweet and enjoyable at first

一开始甜蜜好滋味

but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness

但最后也只是一团无味的悲哀

You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe

用水果口香糖来形容也没错

I I was always a Hubba Bubba man Mm

但我向来都比较喜欢胶带泡泡糖

Hubba Bubba over Dubble Bubble You're crazy

喜欢胶带泡泡糖多过波波泡泡糖吗你疯啦

Hey the jaw wants what it wants

我下巴喜欢嚼哪种就哪种

Gentlemen

两位

Oh right uh girlfriend

抱歉是来说女朋友

But what are you looking for

你想找怎么样的呢

All I'm looking for is an educated intelligent woman

我想找一个受过良好教育非常聪明的女人

who shares my interests

跟我有相同的兴趣爱好

while retaining her own unique point of view

但同时又有自己的想法与见解

She should be kind patient

为人和蔼有耐心

and most important

而且最重要的是

unable to imagine life without me by 10 00 tonight

在今晚十点前就爱我爱到无法自拔

Isn't that a little unreasonable

这要求是不是有点不合理

All right fine she doesn't need her own point of view

好吧她不需要有自己的想法与见解

Now chop chop

赶紧开工吧

Come on Amy show us the dress

艾米快点让我们看看那裙子

Okay

来啦

But I'm really stepping outside of my comfort zone here

但这真的是超出了我的舒适区

I don't think any of your comfort zones are showing

你的"舒适区"一点都没有露出来啊

Yeah it's your third date

都第三次约会了

maybe you could go more sexy

要不打扮性感点试试

Well some people think the sexiest organ is the brain

有些人觉得最性感的器官是脑子呢

No one ever bought me drinks at a bar

但我去酒吧的时候

because my brain just popped out of my shirt

从来没有人因为我露"脑"而请我喝酒啊

Do you have any heels higher than this

你们有没有高一点的高根鞋

He's pretty tall

他个子还挺高

Ooh tall

高个子

Finally some details about this mystery man

终于透露了点这位神秘男士的细枝末节了

Yeah come on tell us more

继续再跟我们说说

Well I told you his name and that he's tall

我跟你们说过了他的名字还有他很高

What more do you need

你们还需要知道什么啊

Did you kiss him yet

你们接吻没

Just a little peck on the lips

就嘴唇上吻了一下

Well we're your best friends give us one more detail

我们可是好闺蜜再说一个细节吧

and we promise we'll leave you alone

说完保证不再烦你

Fine Um

好吧

he's British

他是英国人

All right that is a juicy one

好啦这点的确是很让人兴奋

All right where is Tall British Dave taking you

英国高个子戴夫今晚要带你上哪呢

Tea and basketball

喝茶加打篮球吗

To that new Italian place on Walnut

去那家新开的意大利餐厅

Oh nice

挺好啊

I'm gonna go look for other shoes

我再去找找别双鞋

Good luck

加油找吧

I threw out all my tall ones when I married Leonard

嫁给莱纳德时我把高的高跟鞋全扔了

Hey you want to swing by that place tonight

你今晚想路过他们的约会地

and get a look at this guy

看看那男人的庐山真面目吗

We don't even know what time they're gonna be there

我们都不知道他们约了几点

I'll just call the restaurant

我可以打给那个餐厅

pretend I'm Amy and check the reservation

假装我是艾米再确认一下预定时间

Damn you're sneaky

靠你真贼

Yeah but I'm little so it's adorable

但我人小做啥都萌萌哒

I think the quickest way to find you a new girlfriend

我觉得帮你找女朋友最快的方法

is just to get you on every dating Web site out there

就是帮你注册市面上所有的相亲网站

Are you sure

你确定这有用吗

I've heard that on those sites often when you think

我听说在这种网站上常常会有

you're corresponding with someone

你以为自己跟妞儿聊上天了

it's actually a computer program

结果只是电脑AI

pretending to be a real person

假装是真人在回你

And you're afraid it'll do a better job than you

你担心电脑AI比你这人形AI会聊天吗

Excuse me

不好意思

No one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do

假装是人类这件事上我是打遍天下无敌手

Siri comes close but I know more jokes

Siri跟我不相上下但我知道的笑话比它多

If you don't want to use dating websites

如果你不想用相亲网站

what do you suggest

那你有什么好建议

Off the top of my head

随便一想吗

Uh prospective women weed themselves out

众多有前瞻性的女性们

in a battle of wits until only one champion remains

靠智斗战胜其他人最后夺冠的那一个人

she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory

带着胜利的激动出现在我家门外

and then sits quietly by my side

她会在我看《夜魔侠》时

while I watch Daredevil

默默坐到本皇身边

You seriously think women would fight for you

你真的认为女人会为你而战吗

People compete for jobs and trophies why not me

人们会为了工作和奖杯而战为啥不会为我

He's right he knows a lot of jokes

他说得对他的确知道很多笑话

Yeah no but it is basic human nature

对不但这的确是人的本性

If we present him as a prize maybe they would

如果把他像奖品般呈现或许真有女人会抢

Well he's smart

他很聪明

he's a respected scientist

又是个受人尊敬的科学家

And I have the soulful eyes of a cow

而且我有一双深情似水的明眸

I don't know if I'd say you

我可不会说你的眼...

I have an idea

我有个主意

What if we put a post on Craigslist that says

不如我们在分类广告网上发个帖子就写

"World class Caltech physicist seeking girlfriend

"加州理工学院世界级物理学家征女友一名

If interested

如果有兴趣

solve the following puzzles for a chance to meet him "

请解出如下谜题赢取见面机会"

Oh we'll make the puzzles extremely challenging

我们要把题出得极有挑战性

to eliminate unworthy candidates

才能筛掉不合格的候选人

Oh we could set it up like a scavenger hunt

我们可以设置得像一个寻宝游戏

where the last puzzle gives the winner Sheldon's contact information

解开最后一道题才能得到谢尔顿的联系方式

Well this is actually an interesting social experiment

这真是个有趣的社会实验

I'm a little jealous of the people who get to do it

我有点嫉妒可以参与解谜的人了

Me too

我也是

And we've seen the prize

而且我们已经见过这"大奖"了

I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie

我不懂看电影为啥要这么早出门

Oh I forgot to tell you we're gonna meet up with Bernadette

我忘了告诉你了我们要跟伯纳黛特碰面

to spy on Amy and her date

一起监视艾米和她的男伴

What

什么

I don't want to do that

我不想做这事情

What and you think I want to see

干嘛你真以为我会想看

a documentary about aluminum can recycling

一部关于铝罐回收的纪录片吗

This is the movie Big Soda doesn't want you to see

这可是软饮料行业不想大众去看的电影

No it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see

错是你老婆不想让你去看

So you're actually okay with invading your friend's privacy

你觉得侵犯你朋友的隐私没问题吗

You're not curious who she's out with

你不好奇她跟谁约会吗

Not really

不太

But you're curious about aluminum cans

但你却对铝罐有兴趣

You're a weird little guy

你真是奇怪的小男人

That's it The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge

好了谢尔顿·库珀女友挑战赛

is officially alive

正式上线了

Congratulations This is exciting

-恭喜 -太令人激动了

Right now somewhere

现在在某处

a woman is dividing the atomic weight

有一个女人正用

of the best noble gas by the number of colors

沿用至今最古老的国旗上的颜色数量

in the oldest national flag still in use

除以惰性最强的气体的原子量

W then using that number as the average speed

然后用得出的数作为平均速度

to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire

计算出从魔多到夏尔郡所需的时间

皆为《魔戒》中的地点

And

还有

taking her first step towards a lifetime

向美好的一生迈出第一步

of laughter love and best of all rules

等着她的将是笑声爱意以及规矩

I I hope we didn't make the puzzles too hard

希望我们没有把题出得太难

Well if she can solve them

如果她可以解开

it'll prove she's intelligent

那将证明她非常聪明

tenacious and so socially awkward

固执顽强而且不善社交

she has nothing better to do on a Saturday night

因为周六晚上居然没有更好的事可做

Golly she sounds too good to be true

天啊感觉美好得让人难以置信

This is fun I haven't dated much since my divorce

这样挺好的我离婚之后没怎么跟人约过会

Well I'm having a good time too

我也玩得很开心

If you don't mind me asking

希望你不介意我这么问

why did you and your wife split up

你和你妻子为什么离婚

Oh you know how it is we wanted different things

你也知道的我们的追求不一样

I wanted children

我想要孩子

and she wanted a pastry chef named Jean Philippe

她想要一个叫让·菲利普的糕点师

Oh I'm I'm so sorry

我深感同情

No it's it's fine It's why I left England

没事的我就是因此而离开英国

It reminded me too much of her

那里有太多事物会让我想起她

Cold gloomy

冷冷的闷闷的

and easily accessed by a Frenchman through a tunnel

随便让法国佬从"隧道"进入

英国和法国之间有一条海底铁路隧道

Hey So where are they

他们在哪里

Across the street in the left window

对面街的左边窗口

Oh damn it we should have brought binoculars

靠我们应该带望远镜来的

Right here

早有准备

We just happen to have those in the car

车里碰巧就有吗

Kinda Before I met Howie

算是吧我在认识霍华德之前

I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends

我喜欢密切关注我的男友们

By stalking them

跟踪他们吗

No Stalkers are creepy

不跟踪狂多变态

I'm just a harmless little girl

我只是个人畜无害的小女孩

with military grade spy equipment

有点军事级别的间谍设备而已

Oh there he is

看见他了

He's cute right

他长得还行对吧

Yeah

对

Can I see

我能看一下吗

What now you're interested You didn't even want to come

现在你感兴趣了吗之前都不愿意来

I know

我知道

but you guys make being a crappy friend look fun

但你们让做一个损友变得好有意思

Fine

好吧

Yeah okay I see him

好了我看见他了

It looks like they're having a nice time

看起来他们聊得挺开心的

I wish I could hear what they're saying

真希望能听见他们在说什么

Yeah I should've brought my parabolic microphone

对呀真该把我的抛物面传声器带来

Your what

你的什么

Nothing Not important

没什么不重要

So you've never been married

所以你从来没结过婚

No I mean to be completely honest I've

没有但老实说我...

I've only been in one long term relationship

我只谈过一场长期的恋爱

Oh What happened with that

出了什么状况

That's a good question

这个问题问得非常好

After five years

五年之后

it was just feeling like more work than it should be

这段感情变得太累太沉重了

Oh that's too bad

那可太不幸了

Was he a neurobiologist like you

他也是神经生物学家吗

No He's a theoretical physicist at Caltech

不他是加州理工的理论物理学家

I love teaching math but that would be my dream job

我虽喜欢教数学可那才是我梦寐以求的工作

What's his focus

他的研究方向是什么

Um used to be string theory now it's dark matter

之前是弦理论现在换成了暗物质

But let's not discuss Sheldon

不过...我们还是不要谈谢尔顿了

Let's get back to you

还是来谈谈你吧

Wait you're not talking about Dr Sheldon Cooper

等等你说的该不会是谢尔顿·库珀博士吧

I'm trying not to

我正努力不提呢

Do you know him

你认识他吗

No but I've followed his work for years

不认识但我关注他的研究很多年了

He's a rock star

他可是学界巨星啊

You've got to tell me about him

你一定得给我好好说说他

What's he like

他是个什么样的人啊

He really seems into her

他看起来相当喜欢她呢

I took a video

我拍了一段影片

I forgot how much fun this is

我都忘了这事有多好玩

Okay we saw them

好了我们看见他们了

Can we go catch the movie

我们可以去看电影了吗

Why'd you bring him

你为什么要带他来

I had to we're married now

没办法啊我俩被一纸婚书捆绑了

Ugh I hear that

老娘感同身受啊

I'm sorry just one more question about Sheldon

抱歉让我再问最后一个关于谢尔顿的问题

Sure why not

好吧问吧

It's more of a four part question really

其实这个问题分为四个小题

When he wrote his paper on supersingular prime numbers

他撰写超奇异质数的论文时

how long did it take

花了多长时间

Um about an hour and half

大概一个半小时吧

I mean wow

哇我的亲娘呀

And you were there to see it

你亲眼目睹了吗

Yes Yep We were on a date

是的我们当时正在外面约会

Very much like this one

跟现在情况差不多

I doubt it was like this one

我对此深表怀疑

I mean he's a genius

他可是个大天才

and I wasn't even smart enough to figure out

而我的智商低到无法想通

why my wife always smelled of croissants

为什么我老婆闻起来总是一股牛角面包味

What was the rest of your question

你剩下的问题是什么

Do you think you could introduce me to him

你可以把我介绍给他吗

Really

你说真的吗

You you want me to introduce you to my ex boyfriend

你想让我介绍我的前男友给你认识吗

You're right it's it's weird

你说得对这太诡异了

No wait Do it

不等等就这么做吧

No I changed my mind

不我改变主意了

I'd be too nervous

我一定会紧张死的

Oh I don't know what to do

我不知该如何是好了

Are we gonna be much longer

我们还要待多久

I really have to go to the bathroom

我要上厕所了

Right here

早有准备

37 minutes left until the deadline

离最后期限还差37分钟

Someone will show

会有人出现的

And no matter what happens

不管最后结果如何

this is still a fun experiment

这都将是一个好玩的实验

Not as fun as the night we blew up grapes in the microwave

肯定比不上那晚用微波炉爆葡萄好玩

We really have led full lives

我们的确活得很精彩啊

Someone will show

会有人会出现的

Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you

也许你不想要和你完全一样的人

You know what they say opposites attract

你知道大家都说异性相吸

Well by that logic

照这个逻辑来说

I should be with someone short dull and needy eh

那我是该找个又矮又无聊又黏人的那种吗

Not to cast aspersions

我不是故意要吐槽

but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that

不过我在这儿一挥手就能打中几个这样的人呢

You know I once drove 500 miles

我曾经驾车500英里

to hear him speak at Stanford

只为了聆听他在斯坦福演讲

I have a DVD of that lecture

我有那堂课的DVD

Really Wasn't it great

真的吗是不是特别棒

Not as a Valentine's present no

作为情人节的礼物一点都不棒

Well the next time you watch it

下次你再看那张碟时

I'm the bloke who asked the question

我就是那个提问题被他评为

that he said was stupid and obvious

又蠢又傻的那个小子

It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there

那是他对在场人士说的最友善的话了

That's um terrific

那还真是厉害

Listen I'm I'm kind of tired Can we call it a night

我有点累了今晚先这样好吗

Oh gosh Sorry I've just spent the whole night

哎呀对不起我一整晚都在

talking about your ex boyfriend

谈论你的前男友

I'm such an idiot

我真是个大傻瓜

No you're not

不你不是

Well maybe not an idiot but certainly not as smart as

也许还不算是傻瓜但肯定不如

someone we won't mention

那个不能提的人聪明

Thank you

谢谢

But you said you might introduce me to him

但你说了你也许会把我介绍给他

I'm free on Thursday

我周四有空哦

Hey hey they're leaving

他们要起身离开了

What Here give me give me

什么给我给我

Oh my God Oh my God they're coming right towards us

天啊天啊他们正向我们走来

We got to get out of here

我们得赶紧离开

Okay Well wait what about Leonard

好的等等莱纳德怎么办

He and his tiny bladder can take the bus

他和他的小膀胱可以去搭巴士

Oh no

不是吧

She just hit my car

她把我的车给撞了

What are you guys doing here

你们怎么在这里

Oh Hey Ames What are you doing here

好啊艾米你怎么在这呢

What happened

怎么回事

Omg

老天爷

Aren't you Leonard Hofstadter

您不是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德吧

Yeah

是

I saw you speak at Stanford with Sheldon Cooper

我看过你在斯坦福跟谢尔顿一起演讲

Amy can you believe it

艾米你相信吗

It's Dr Leonard Hofstadter

这居然是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士

No Pinch me

不相信快把我从梦中捏醒

It's an absolute pleasure to meet you Can I shake your hand

见到你真是太高兴了能握个手吗

I don't know if you want to do that I was just

不知道你愿不愿意我才刚刚

Okay never mind

好吧当我没说

Amy I'm never washing this hand again

艾米我这辈子再也不洗这只手了

You really should

你应该好好洗

60 seconds

60秒

This is not looking good

这可不妙

One minute is a long time

一分钟足够长了

I've been telling women that for 20 years

这句话我跟女人说了二十年

45秒

45 seconds is plenty of time for a woman

45秒足够一个女人

to walk through that door and fall in love with me

走进那扇门然后爱上我了

You know probably half that if I break out the old cow eyes

要是用上我这双星星眼时间还要减半呢

What if it's Jennifer Lawrence

万一是詹妮弗·劳伦斯呢

What

什么

Oh that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea

上一部《饥饿游戏》可不是我的菜

You thought she was great in X Men

你不是说她在《X战警》里演得特别好吗

Oh fine I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence

好吧我不会拒绝詹妮弗·劳伦斯的

Guys 15 seconds

各位 15秒了

Maybe she's waiting to show up at the last possible moment

也许她是等着最后一刻出场呢

Sounds like a drama queen

听起来好爱演的事儿精女生

Oh no It is Jennifer Lawrence

不还真是詹妮弗·劳伦斯啊

Five...

four...

three...

two...

one.

That's too bad

太糟了

Maybe we did make the test too difficult

可能我们把题出得太难了

I don't think it matters Look Sheldon

我觉得这不重要听着谢尔顿

I believe when the time is right for you to meet someone

我相信命里有时终须有

it'll just happen Okay

命里无时莫强求好吗

Not because of a test or a Web site

不能因为一场测试或某个网站

but because

而是因为...

We are the dreamers of dreams

我们是梦想中的梦想者

It's an actual girl and she's really pretty

真是个姑娘还很漂亮

Answer it

快开门啊

All right

好的

Can I help you

有什么需要帮忙的吗

Um a are you the physicist that placed the ad on Craigslist

你是分类广告网站上登广告的物理学家吗

Yes

是的

Hi I'm Vanessa Bennett

你好我叫温妮沙·班尼特

Sorry it took a while for me to get here

抱歉这么久才来

I was stuck in this boring symposium

我在听无聊的原子光谱学讲座

on atomic spectroscopy when I came across your ad

想走又走不了直到看到了你的广告

and it saved my night

真是拯救了我这无聊的一夜

The puzzles were were really fun

那些题非常有趣

I've never had to translate Klingon

我还从来没有把克林贡语

into ancient Sanskrit before

翻译成古梵文呢

Well careful hmm it's addictive

小心很容易上瘾的

Chija''e'vlKub je

[克林贡语]

Or as they say in Sanskrit

或者用梵文说是

Ahm asman matey bee ta teyva

[梵文]

And just like that you're a Klingon Sanskrit junkie

你看吧你中了克林贡语译梵文的毒

Anyway I I just I knew I had to meet the person

总之我觉得必须见见这位

responsible for such a brilliant idea

想出如此绝妙点子的人

And I don't need to tell you there aren't a lot of men

毕竟不用我说你也知道这世上很少有

who love physics archaic languages and flags of the world

同样热爱物理学古代语言和旗帜的人

I am a bit of a unicorn

我也算凤毛麟角的人物了

Well you certainly seem like a special lady

你确实是一位特别的姑娘

uh but as you know you missed the deadline

但你也知道你错过最后期限了

so thanks for playing

所以谢谢参与

How could you send her away

你怎么能就这么赶她走了

She was late

她来晚了

And she found atomic spectroscopy boring

而且她居然说原子光谱学无聊

Well I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals

用你们的生殖器我也不想和她交配

Uh thanks for driving me home

谢谢你送我回家

No problem

不用客气

I'm really sorry about your car

很抱歉你的车被撞坏了

Oh it's all right

没关系的

If you're free next weekend I'd love to take you out again

如果你下周末有空我很愿意再约你出来

Um listen you're a really nice guy

听着你是个好人

but I just I don't think this is working out

但我觉得我们不适合

Oh Okay

好吧

I'm I'm really sorry

非常抱歉

No it's at least the same woman

没事至少我是被

that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me

拒绝过谢尔顿·库珀的女人给拒绝了

There you go

那好吧

If I ever do meet him we'll have that in common

等我见到他了这就是我们的共同点

Sure Heh

当然了

And he's kissed you and I've kissed you

而且他亲过你我也亲过你

so if you think about it

如果仔细一想...

Okay get out

行了滚吧