生活大爆炸-S04E16_生活大爆炸

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Previously on The Big Bang Theory

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

Guess who I found at LAX My baby sister Priya

猜我在洛杉矶机场发现谁了我的妹妹普丽娅

It's really nice to see you again Leonard

真高兴再次见到你莱纳德

Yeah it's good to see you too

恩我也很高兴见到你

Here you go

到了

Thanks

谢谢

You slept with my sister Yeah

-你上了我妹妹 -对

This is a terrible betrayal of my trust

这是对我信任莫大的背叛

Would it help if I told you

要是我告诉你

that I offered her my heart

我向她献出真心

and she kinda stomped on it

却被她狠狠践踏你会好受点么

How hard did she stomp

她践踏得多狠

Very hard

相当狠

Okay I'm good

好吧好受多了

What's so funny

什么事那么好笑

Nothing Just thinking

没什么只是在想

about the noises people make during sex

人做爱时发出的声音

I do sometimes get a bit carried away don't I

我有时确实有点不能自已是吧

It's cute

很可爱

You sound a little like a drunken monkey

听起来像只喝醉的猴子

You know it's meant as a compliment

你懂的那其实是对你的赞美

That's how I take it

我也是这么理解的

This is perfect

太完美了

I hope this moment never ends

真希望这一刻永远停留

Me too

我也是

Well gotta go Oh

噢该走了

Already Why don't you stay over

这么快留下来过夜吧

I'd love to but you know

我也想但是你知道

my mother needs me in the morning

我妈早上需要我

Please I think the woman can manage

拜托我认为她能

to put a wig on by herself

自己戴假发

It's not just the wig

不仅仅是假发

It's pinning her hair up drawing on her eyebrows

还要把她的头发盘起来画眉毛

It's a two person job

是两个人才能干的活儿

It's just when you leave right after we make love

只是我们刚做完爱你就走

it makes me feel

让我觉得自己

cheap

很贱

Oh honey I'm sorry

亲爱的对不起

What can I do

我能做什么呢

Stay

留下来

Okay

好吧

Like what another five ten minutes

再待个五分十分钟吗

Go home

回家吧

Your call

听你的

Howard

霍华德

have you ever considered us living together

你有考虑过一起住吗

Boy I don't know

天啊我不知道

You me Ma living under the same roof

你我妈住在同一屋檐下

No I mean just you and me

不是我是说只有你和我

You can move in here

你可以搬过来

or we can find a place

或者我们另找个住处

I've got a better solution What

-我有个更好的主意 -什么

We wait for my mom's heart to explode

我妈吃那么多盐心脏早晚受不了

from all the salt she eats

我们等她心脏崩溃

Then we just stick her in the ground flip her mattress

把她埋进土里把她的床垫翻个面儿

and move into the big bedroom

搬进大卧室

Great

很好

Look at us planning a future together

看看我们在一起规划未来啦

Who's there

是谁

Are you a sex criminal

是性侵者吗

Sex criminals don't have keys Ma

性侵者没有钥匙妈

Where were you so late

这么晚你到哪儿去了

I was out with Bernadette

我和伯纳黛特出去了

I know what that means

我知道那是什么意思

I watch Dr Phil

我看《菲尔博士》

(美国脱口秀节目)

I hope to God you used a condom

希望上帝保佑但愿你用避孕套了

I'm not having this conversation with you Ma

我不跟你谈这个话题妈

God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases

上帝保佑你不会得个什么新型怪性病

Nobody has a disease

没人有病

I hope not

希望如此

I share a toilet with you

我跟你共用一个厕所呢

Is that what you want

那就是你想的吗

To give your mother herpes

想让你妈妈得上疱疹吗

That's it I don't have to take this

够啦我受够啦

Good luck with your eyebrows in the morning

祝你早上画眉毛顺利

Who's there

是谁

Are you a sex criminal

你是性侵者吗

I'm still leaving

我还没走

I just forgot my Claritin

我忘拿我的克敏能了

(含氯雷他定抗过敏药物)

Hey what's up

什么事

I need a place to crash

需要个住的地方

Uh sure

当然

Why

为什么

Big fight with my mother

跟我妈大吵一架

Still arguing over which CSI is the best

还在争哪部《犯罪现场调查》最棒吗

No we agreed they all have their merits

不是我们一致同意它们各有千秋

This was about Bernadette

是关于伯纳黛特

What's going on

怎么了

Howard's gonna sleep here tonight

霍华德今晚要在这睡

He had a fight with his mother

他跟他妈吵架了

Did you offer him a hot beverage

你给他上热饮了吗

没

Leonard social protocol states when a friend is upset

莱纳德社交礼仪规定如果朋友心情不好

you offer them a hot beverage such as tea

你应该给他们倒杯热饮比如茶

Tea does sound nice

茶听起来是不错

You heard the man Leonard

你听见他的话了莱纳德

And while you're at it I'm upset

与此同时我也心情不好

that we have an unannounced houseguest so make me cocoa

因为来了一位不速之客所以给我一杯可可

Point of inquiry

有个问题

given that Leonard is your secondary friend

既然莱纳德是你的第二好友

and Koothrappali is your primary friend

库萨帕里才是你的头号好友

why didn't you seek refuge under his roof

你为什么没去他那

There's no room

没地方

His sister is staying with him

他妹妹住在他家

Wait wait What

等等等等什么

Cocoa Leonard Focus

可可莱纳德集中精力

I'm down in the dumps here

我现在很郁闷

Priya's in town

普丽娅来了吗

Yeah some work thing

对为了工作的事

Anyway my mother seems to think that Bernadette

我妈好像觉得伯纳黛特

Hold on When did Priya get here

等下普丽娅啥时候来的

I don't know A couple of days ago

不知道几天前吧

The thing is Bernadette doesn't like that I have to take care

问题是伯纳黛特不喜欢我每天

of my mother and my mother doesn't trust Bernadette

照顾我妈我妈又不信任伯纳黛特

Yeah that's a real pickle

嗯确实很难办

Bye

拜拜

Don't worry

别担心

As your tertiary friend

作为你排名第三的好朋友

I am prepared to step in and comfort you

我愿意挺身而出安慰你

That's not really necessary

其实用不着这样

No no I'll finish making the tea

不行不行我来把茶泡好

while you narcissistically ramble on

你继续自说自话地

about whatever's troubling you

倒那什么乱七八糟的苦水吧

Thanks

多谢

That's what tertiary friends are for

这就是排在第三位的朋友的作用

Who is it

谁啊

It's Leonard

莱纳德

You can't come in

你不能进来

I just want to talk to her

我就想和她说句话

I forbid it

我毙之

Open the door Rajesh

开门吧拉杰

You heard me

我说过了

I forbidded it

我毙毙之

"Forbidded" it

"毙毙之"

"Forbaded" it

"吡毙之"

Get out of the way

给我让开

What are you doing here

你来做什么

What are you doing here

你又是来做什么

I have business in Los Angeles

我在洛杉矶有点公事

Why didn't you call

为什么不给我打电话

Clearly she was sending you a message

显然啊她在暗示你

to take a hike Mike

滚远点迈克同学

I'm sorry I thought about calling

不好意思我想过给你打电话

but I just wasn't sure if seeing you was such a good idea

但我不知道和你再见面到底合不合适

I know Last time I came on too strong

我懂上次我有些太着急了

Can we talk in private

咱俩能单独聊聊吗

No Sure

-不行 -行啊

It's completely inappropriate for a single woman

一个单身女人私下招待男性

to entertain a man in private

这实在太荒唐了

If you insist on talking you must do it on the couch

要是你俩非得聊的话就在沙发上聊

All right you may talk in the bedroom

好吧你俩可以在卧室里聊

but I want this door to remain open

但是我要求你们不许关门

All right just this once you may close the door

好吧这次让你关门

But keep in mind I'll be right out here

但你给我记住我就在外面

monitoring the situation

监视你俩的动向

Oh damn it

该死

Leonard when you get this message call me

莱纳德听到这条留言后请速回电

Priya this is your brother

普丽娅我是你哥

When you get this tell Leonard to check his voicemail

听到留言后请让莱纳德查收他的语音信箱

Would you be sleeping over again this evening

你今晚还住我们那儿吗

Because you're welcome to

因为我们很欢迎你

That's very nice of you but I made other plans

承蒙美意但是我自己有计划

Well just keep in mind that should you ever need

你只要记得只要你需要一位

a slightly apathetic tertiary friend

略显冷淡的第三好的朋友

I stand at the ready

我时刻准备着

Hi Howard Hi Sheldon

嗨霍华德嗨谢尔顿

Hello Hey

-嗨 -嗨

Why are you holding hands

你俩为啥牵着手

I forbid you to hold hands

我禁止你俩牵手

Rajesh you know Leonard and I spent the night together

拉杰你知道莱纳德和我一起过夜了

Yeah but you were just sleeping

对但是你俩只是睡觉而已

because I forboded you to have sex

因为我禁子你俩做爱了

The word is "forbade""

应该是"禁止"

You sure That doesn't sound right

你确定吗听起来怪怪的

Listen Rajesh Leonard and I have decided

听着拉杰莱纳德和我已经决定

to see each other again

重拾旧情了

and you don't get to tell me

你不可以决定

who I can and can't have a relationship with

我该和谁拍拖

Actually he can

其实他可以

The Hindu Code of Manu is very clear in these matters

印度的《摩奴法典》对这类问题有明确规定

If a woman's father is not around

如果一个女人的父亲不在

the duty of controlling her base desires falls

那么控制她基本欲望的责任

to the closest male member of her family in this case Raj

就落在了她最亲的男性亲属身上也就是拉杰

The code also states

法典还规定

that if she disobeys she will be reborn

如果她违背了的话她下辈子将

"in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases "

"投胎为豺疾病缠身"

If true

如果这是真的

that seems like an awfully large gamble

考虑到奖品只是莱纳德

given that the prize is Leonard

你这个赌注貌似下得大了点

There it is Priya We're Indian

就是这样普丽娅我们是印度人

We believe this stuff

就信这些玩意

I think it also says that if you eat beef

我觉得法典上还说如果你吃牛肉了

you need to live with cows for three months

就得和母牛一起住三个月

and drink their urine

天天喝牛尿

Some of it makes sense some of it's crazy

良莠参半不可全信

My point is you can't go out with Leonard

我是说你不能和莱纳德在一起

Who can't go out with Leonard

谁不能和莱纳德在一起

My sister

我妹妹

Penny this is Raj's sister Priya

佩妮这位是拉杰的妹妹普丽娅

It's very nice to meet you

很高兴见到你

Oh yeah you too

哦我也是

Priya if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness

普丽娅如果你觉得有些紧张或者尴尬

it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to

很可能是因为莱纳德和佩妮以前曾经

if I may quote Howard "do the dance with no pants "

用霍华德的话来说叫做"赤裸共舞"

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Really

你非得这么说吗

Hey Bernadette can I talk to you for a second

伯纳黛特我能跟你说句话吗

Sure

好

Penny you became disenchanted with Leonard

佩妮作为莱纳德曾经的恋人你和他

as a lover

分手了

Would you please tell my sister why

能不能跟我妹妹说说是为啥

Listen my mom's going to Palm Springs

跟你说哈我妈要去棕榈泉市

to visit her sister

拜访她妹妹

That's two whole nights in a row I can sleep over

我就有整整两个晚上

with you all the way to morning

能陪着你到天亮了

Unless the desert air dries out her sinuses

除非沙漠的干旱气候让她鼻窦干得厉害

in which case I'll have to schlep out there

那样的话我就得扛着

with the big humidifier

庞大的增湿器赶过去

That's it

就这样吗

That's your big solution to all of our problems

这就是解决咱俩这些问题的妙招吗

If your mom's nose holds up we get two nights together

趁你妈不注意我们才得两晌贪欢

Isn't that great

这不很美妙吗

No it's not great

不并不好

You need to make a choice Me or your mother

你得作出选择要我还是你妈

Wrong answer

回答错误

No wait

不等等

You didn't let me finish

我还没说完

I'm listening

我听着呢

I came as quickly as I could

我尽最快速度赶来了

Okay

好的

Why

为什么

To comfort you of course

当然是赶来安慰你

Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister

谢尔顿说了莱纳德跟拉杰妹妹约会的事

So I high tailed it over here

所以我赶到这里

to pick up the pieces of your broken heart

来安慰你破碎的心

Amy I'm fine

艾米我没事

You don't have to be strong for me

你不用在我面前逞强的

Now let's talk about Priya that man stealing bitch

我们来谈谈普丽娅那偷男人的婊子

What

什么

In situations like this

在这样的情况下

best girlfriends are often catty about the other woman

闺蜜经常都一起声讨小三的

Really I am not upset about Leonard and Priya

真的我对莱纳德和普丽娅的事毫不伤心

Oh Then perhaps you don't understand what's going on

那你可能是并不清楚是怎么回事

Your former boyfriend has replaced you

你的前男友另找了

with what appears to be a very suitable mate

一个看上去非常相配的女友

Arguably much more suitable than you

可以说比你更相配得多

Oh Well good for him

好吧那对他来说不错啊

Hey what do you mean "More suitable"

你说"更相配"是什么意思

Well granted Penny your secondary sexual characteristics

佩妮虽然你的第二性征

are reasonably bodacious

相当明显

but Priya is highly educated

但普丽娅有高学历

she's an accomplished professional she comes from the culture

她是成熟的专业人员她们的文化中

that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex

甚至还有性爱宝典

Whereas you on the other hand are a community college dropout

而你只是社区大学辍学生

who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows

你们那的文化中只有如何把牛推倒的书

Yeah Okay I got it I got it

好吧我听懂了

So what is all that stuff

那些都是什么

This is a portable electroencephalogram

这是个便携式脑电波机

I'm doing research on emotions and brain activity

我正在做关于情绪和大脑活动的研究

So when you start crying

所以你哭的时候

I can see which region of the brain is activated

我能看到你大脑的哪一区域被激活

Then I'm going to stimulate the analogous area

然后我就刺激猕猴大脑中

in the brain of a rhesus monkey and see if he cries

相似区域看它是否也会哭

Cool huh

很酷吧

I choose you

我选你

Really

真的吗

Yep I moved out of my mother's house

对我搬出了我妈家

Cord is cut I'm all yours

切断了束缚我是你的了

What did she say when you told her

你告诉她时她怎么说

I don't know She hasn't responded to my email yet

不知道她还没回我的电邮

This is so great

太好了

I love you Howard

我爱你霍华德

I love you too

我也爱你

So what's for dinner

晚饭吃什么

Well I don't really have much of anything in the house

我家里没什么东西吃

That's fine

没事

Why don't we go fool around in our bedroom

不如先去我们的卧室做点好事

And then you can go shopping

然后你可以去买东西

I thought maybe after we eat we could see an early movie

我想吃完后我们去看个早场电影吧

I'd love that

好啊

I love the way you say "I'd love that "

我喜欢你说"好啊"的口音

She says it the same way I do

哥也是这么说的

"I'd love that "

好啊

Everybody in India says it that way It's not a big deal

印度人人都这么说没什么了不起的

Rajesh don't be a child

拉杰别这么幼稚

I'm not being a child

我没在耍幼稚

Leonard I swear to God

莱纳德我对天发誓

if your sister ever comes to town

你姐姐要是来这

I shall have my way with her

我也会好好"关照"她的

My sister's 38 and married

我姐姐38岁已婚

(模仿莎士比亚句式)

All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter

那就让霍夫斯塔德家族蒙受更多耻辱

Ooh I thought I smelled pizza

我好像闻到了披萨味

That's remarkable

太了不起了

If pepperoni were an explosive substance

要是意大利辣香肠是爆炸物

you could replace German shepherds at our nation's airports

你就可以取代国家机场的德国牧羊犬了

Hi Penny right

你好你是佩妮对吧

Oh yes H Hi I'm sorry

对你好抱歉

I didn't know you had company I don't want to impose

我不知道你们有客人不想来打扰

No no It's not an imposition

不你这不是打扰

At this point in our ecosystem you are akin to the plover

此时在我们的生态系统中你就相当于千鸟

(千鸟又叫牙签鸟常充当鳄鱼牙签的角色)

a small scavenging bird that eats extra food

一种小型净化鸟类从鳄鱼的牙缝间

from between the teeth of crocodiles

吃掉多余的食物

Please fly into our open maw and have at it

请飞到我们张开的咽喉尽情享用吧

If I had more than a box of baking soda in my refrigerator

要不是我冰箱就剩一瓶小苏打

I wouldn't have to take that

我肯定不吃这嗟来之食

Hi bestie

嗨闺蜜

嗨

So um Priya you're a lawyer right

普丽娅你是律师对吧

I know Pretty boring huh

我懂很无聊是吧

Oh come on It's not boring at all

拜托一点都不无聊

She's currently helping set up a secondary derivative market

她正在帮助建立一个二级市场

which would allow overseas car firms to hedge their investments

以便海外汽车公司巩固其投资

against potential advancements in battery technology

以对抗电池技术的潜在进步

Thank you Leonard

谢谢你莱纳德

That doesn't make it sound boring at all

让我的工作听着一点都不无聊了

I'm sorry but

抱歉...

So how you holding up

你还好吧

I'm fine

我没事

Oh who are you kidding She's breathtaking

开什么玩笑她那么动人

So Penny

佩妮

Leonard tells me you're an actress

莱纳德跟我说你是个演员

That must be pretty exciting

这工作肯定相当令人兴奋吧

Oh yeah yeah It's real great

对是挺棒的

Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition

今天我开车去范奈司试镜

I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial

我原以为是一个猫食的广告

Turned out to be porn

到那才发现是黄片

Did you get the part

你有幸参演吗

I didn't do the audition

我连试镜都没试

Given the state of your career

鉴于你岌岌可危的职业生涯

can you really afford to be picky

你还能挑三拣四的吗

I took acting classes when I was at Cambridge

我在剑桥的时候上过表演课

I loved it

我超爱的

We did Taming of the Shrew

我们当时教的是《驯悍记》[莎士比亚著名喜剧]

Oh wow I love Taming of the Shrew

哇我超爱《驯悍记》

I did a paper on it in high school

我高中的时候还写过一篇论文呢

"Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting

"谁不知道黄蜂的刺是在什么地方

In his tail "

在尾巴上"

"In his tongue" "Whose tongue "

-"在舌头上" -"谁的舌头"

"Yours if you talk of tails

"你的如果你谈论的是尾巴

and so farewell "

保重啦"

"What with my tongue in your tail "

"什么我的舌头在你的尾巴上"

I'm regretting my earlier cattiness

真后悔之前我对她做出这么恶毒的评价

She is an absolute delight

她绝对是个可人儿

Wow

爽

Wow indeed

爽死了

I can't believe we're finally living together

真不敢相信我们终于住在一起了

Yeah

是啊

You know what would make this moment perfect

你知道什么能让这一刻更加完美吗

What

什么

A little snack You got any string cheese

零食你有奶酪棒吗

No I I might have some cheddar

没有我可能有些干酪

Not as good

那个不好

You can't make strings with it

拼不成绳子

Remind me to put it on your shopping list

记得提醒我把它加入你的购物清单

Okay

好吧

You have hypo allergenic detergent

你有低敏配方的洗衣粉吗

没有

Better put it on the list

那这个也要买哦

If you wash my underwear with regular soap

如果你用普通的肥皂帮我洗内内

I get little red bumps on my tuchus

我的屁屁会长小红点

Wait a second

等等

I'm doing your laundry

我还要帮你洗衣服

Well honey it's not gonna do itself

拜托宝贝衣服又不会自己跳进洗衣机

Oh before I forget

差点忘了

tomorrow morning you're driving me to the dentist

明天早上你得开车送我去看牙医

I have to take you

我一定要载你去吗

You don't have to take me You get to take me

现在不是一定要你做而是你必须要做

Wait a minute Are you telling me

慢着你的意思是

your mother usually takes you to the dentist

你妈妈通常都带你去看牙医吗

It's not weird

这有什么奇怪的

There's lots of kids there with their moms

诊所里有很多小孩都是妈妈陪着来的

I can't believe this

真让人难以置信

What It's fun

为什么多有爱呀

If I have no cavities

如果我没有蛀牙

afterwards we go out for a treat

检查过后我们就去大餐一顿

All right Howard

够了霍华德

let's get something straight right now

有件事我必须得跟你直说

I'm not going to be your mother

我不会像你妈一样照顾你的

Whoa whoa whoa

喂喂喂

Where did that come from

此话怎讲

Who's that

谁啊

Is it a sex criminal

是性侵者吗

Nobody wants to do that to you Ma

妈在你面前谁都硬不起来

Where were you

你死去哪里了

Didn't you read my email

你没看见我的电子邮件吗

You know I can't turn on that ferkakta computer

你也知道我不会开那破电脑

I left you some brisket on the kitchen counter

我给你留了点鸡胸肉在厨房柜台上

Thank you

谢谢

Remember to floss after

吃完记得用牙线剔干净

We have the dentist in the morning

明天早上我们得去看牙医

Oh hey What's up

有事吗

I just wanted to check in on you

我只是来看看你怎么样

Why

为什么

It seems like the appropriate thing to do

这是最恰当不过的事情

when one's best friend finds herself replaced

因为当自己好朋友发现自己被

by a smart beautiful woman

一个聪明美丽的女人所取代

with the smoldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger

而她如同温顺的孟加拉母老虎有一种蓄势待发的性欲

I already told you I'm okay with it

我跟你说过我没事

I mean if anything I'm quite pleased

我是说我甚至于还很高兴

that Leonard has found someone

莱纳德找到了

that makes him so happy

能让他开心的人

It's okay it's okay

没事的没事的

Thank you

谢谢

Now let's get these electrodes attached

现在先把这些电极贴上

and see what's going on in that pretty little noggin of yours

看看你的小脑袋里到底哪部分让你哭泣

Okay

好的

I smell Chinese food

我闻到中国菜的味道

It's actually Thai

其实是泰国菜

You're slipping

你的嗅觉下降了

Are Leonard and Priya here

莱纳德和普丽娅在吗

They went to Catalina for the weekend

他们去卡达利娜岛度周末了[全美最漂亮的小岛]

Oh Where's Raj

拉杰呢

At home forbidding it

在家远程禁止他们去

How about Howard

霍华德呢

I'm given to understand

据说他的母亲

his mother grounded him for running away

把他禁足了防止他偷跑

Oh okay

好吧

Well I guess it's just the two of us huh

那就剩咱俩了对吧

Actually it's the three of us

事实上是剩咱三个

What up bestie

你好啊闺蜜

Good news

好消息

Thanks to you I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry

多亏了你我才能成功把恒河猴弄哭

like a disgraced televangelist

就像那种蓄意煽情的情感类节目主持人一样

Great

不错

So you feeling better

那你感觉好点了吗

Not really

还没有

Sheldon you have a guest who's upset

谢尔顿你的客人心情不好

Right I'll make tea

知道了我去倒茶

Sweetie it's okay I don't want tea

亲爱的没关系我不需要

I'm sorry It's not optional

抱歉你没得选择