生活大爆炸-S12E12_生活大爆炸

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Previously on The Big Bang Theory

《生活大爆炸》前情提要

So I told my mom she just needed to back off

所以我让我妈不要再插手了

This is our wedding

这是属于我们的婚礼

and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements

如果需要指派一人负责花卉布置

it's going to be my man

那必须得是我男人

Thank you

谢谢

I mean I I'm not trying to be a Groomzilla

我不想变成怪兽一样的新郎

but this is my specialty

但... 这可是我的大喜之日

Everything okay

没事吧

Yeah it's just Anu's doorbell camera

没事是安努的门铃摄像头

I helped her install it

我帮她装上了

You can't look at it That's spying

你不能看吧这算是监视

Who the hell is this guy

这个男的是谁啊

Ooh let me see

让我看看

So you're still talking to your ex boyfriend

所以你还在跟前男友联系

Yes and I'm not gonna apologize for that

对我不会为这事道歉

And you need to delete that app from your phone

你要从手机上把那个应用删掉

Because you're hiding something from me

因为你有事瞒着我

No because you should trust me

不因为你应该相信我

How can I trust you I barely even know you

我怎么相信你我都算不上了解你

Then what are we doing

那我们在做什么

I don't know

我不知道

Oh ‭Aah sad man

可怜的男人

时至今日

This is so great

这样真是太有意思了

Why don't we do it more often

我们为什么不多多这么聚

Because you have two kids

因为你有两个娃

I have Sheldon

我有谢尔顿

and Penny's apparently in the gym all the time

而佩妮貌似整天在健身房里泡

'cause damn look at her

因为妈呀看看她的身材

Yeah so impressive how you manage

对啊真的好棒棒啊

to bounce back after having no babies

身材在没生小孩子后可以恢复如初

Ah another reason why we don't do this more often

这是另一个我们为什么不多这么聚的理由

You've come to a giant metal door

你们走到巨大的金属门前

I check the door for traps

我检查门是否有陷阱

There are no traps

判定没有陷阱

I use my wizard eye

我用我的巫师之眼

to see what's on the other side of the door

看看门后有什么

Hey that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera

这就跟你用门铃摄像头

to spy on your fiancee

监视你未婚妻一样

No it's nothing like that

才不一样好吗

Your wizard eye reveals a monster

你的巫师之眼发现门后有怪兽

Oh Is it alone and unloved I guess

-它是否孤苦无依没人疼 -大概吧

I open the door and say "Hey Raj "

我打开门说"你好啊拉杰"

I have a bottle of champagne for you

为各位上一瓶香槟

Oh we didn't order this

我们没点这个

It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar

是吧台尾端那位男士请你们喝的

Oh Well if we drink it

如果我们喝了

does that mean we're making a promise

是否表示我们答应有发展

'Cause I am happily married although I will watch

我可是有美满婚姻的人但我乐于围观

We're not gonna do anything

我们才不会要有任何发展

Really So all that work's for Leonard

真的吗辛苦健身全是为莱纳德吗

Why don't you just call her

你何不直接打给她呢

I'm sure you guys can work this out

我相信你们能冰释前嫌

I don't want to talk about it Let's just play

我不想聊这件事我们继续玩吧

Okay the cyclops tells you

独眼巨人告诉你

that the enchantress you seek is staying

你所寻找的女巫

at the Inn of the Dwarven Lords

就住在矮人领主旅馆里

Really An inn

不是吧一家旅馆

Anu is a concierge at a hotel

安努在一家酒店的礼宾部工作

That's a little insensitive

有点哪壶不开提哪壶吧

don't you think

你不觉得吗

I hadn't noticed that before you mentioned it

你说之前我都没意识到这件事

Well now that I've mentioned it how do you feel

现在我提了你有何感受

Bad

难受

Shame on you

看看你这坏人

Hey ladies Zack

-姑娘们 -扎克

Hi You guys know Zack

好久不见你们还记得扎克吧

Yeah Of course

-记得 -当然啦

Did did you send this over

这香槟是你请的吗

I did I asked for the most expensive one they have

是的我让他们上这里最贵的酒

They said it was $200

他们说要200快

and I said I want a more expensive one

我说我想要更贵的

And then they said it was $300

然后他们说那就300块

But it it was the same

但还是同一瓶...

Don't

别

Thank you but you shouldn't have spent so much

真谢谢你但你不应该花这么多钱

Nah It's cool

没事小意思

I sold my company for a boatload of money

我把我的公司买了赚了满船满谷

And then I bought a boat

然后我就去买了搜船

Then I got married

接着我结婚了

Guess where

猜猜在哪结的

On your boat

在你的船上吗

No but that would've been awesome

不是但那样得多赞啊

Well congratulations

恭喜你啊

Hey you and Leonard

你跟莱纳德

should come over and have dinner with us on our boat

有空应该过来我们船上一起共进晚餐啊

Yeah that would be so nice

那样应该会挺棒

Leonard was just saying how he was hoping to have dinner

莱纳德才刚说过他有多想要

with one of your ex boyfriends on his expensive boat

在你其中一任前男友的豪华船上共进晚餐呢

Well then this worked out perfect Oh yeah

-那无巧不成书啦 -对啊

Hey How was game night

游戏之夜玩得如何啊

Oh off the charts

好玩到爆表了

Literally Sheldon rolled a number so high

真的爆表谢尔顿掷骰子掷出了

it wasn't on any of these charts

这个表上都没有的数呢

That's funny

真有意思

Wow I should not have driven home

我真不应该开车这么快到家

How was ladies' night

闺蜜之夜如何呢

It was fun Amy got drunk and kept telling us

玩得很开心啊艾米喝醉酒后不停在说

that Sheldon's chest is smooth like a porpoise

谢尔顿的胸膛滑嫩得像只鼠海豚

Well it does squeak when you touch it

当你摸到的时候他的确会发出尖叫声

And we ran into Zack

我们还遇到了扎克

Oh Yeah How's he doing

是吗他最近如何

He got married Oh Well that's nice

-他结婚了 -那很好啊

Yeah and he sold his company for a fortune and retired

他把公司卖了赚到一大笔钱退休了

Huh

是嘛

And you ended up with me so everybody wins

而你与我终成眷属大家都很幸福美满啊

Wait You're not jealous of Zack are you

等等你没有在嫉妒扎克吧

What Oh absolutely not

什么当然没有啦

In fact he should be jealous of me because I have you

事实上应该是他嫉妒我抱得你这个美人归

And a dungeon with over 30 rooms left unexplored

还拥有一个剩下30多个房间未被发掘的地下城

because no one thought to search for secret doors

因为没有人想到去搜索

under the wizard's throne

巫师宝座下的暗门

Oh You know I'd like to go exploring

哎呀呀我可有意去"探索"一下呢

Really

真的吗

Well I'll get the dice back out

那我先把骰子拿出来

我知道我错了

Go away Raj

快走吧拉杰

我只想和你聊聊

What are you doing

你在搞什么呀

I'm winning you back Love Actually style

我在用电影《真爱至上》的招数赢回你的芳心

I don't know what that means

我一个字都听不懂

Really You've never seen Love Actually

真的吗你没看过《真爱至上》

If you want to watch it right now I'll just wait

如果你现在想看我可以等

I have nothing to say to you

我跟你没话好谈了

Look we both made mistakes

听着我俩都犯了错

I am so sorry that I spied on you

我为监视你的事道歉

I didn't mean to but I know it was not okay

虽然我是无意中这么做但我知道这样不对

Now do you want to apologize to me

现在你想给我道歉吗

You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me

你还说你不信任我你根本就不了解我

I really thought this would be more of a back and forth thing

我真心以为会是我俩一人一句轮流道歉

Honestly Raj why do you even want to marry me

说真的拉杰你到底为什么想和我结婚

You know family and India and stuff

你懂的为了家庭还有印度那些破事儿

Here's what I think

我是这么想的

All of your friends are married

你所有的朋友都结婚了

and you don't want to be left behind

所以你也不想慢人一步

And honestly that's not a good enough reason

老实说这不算是个结婚的好理由

Uh okay well how is that different

好吧可这和你的做法

than what you're doing

又有什么不同呢

Worried that you wasted

你担心自己在错误的人选上

so many years dating the wrong people and now

浪费了太多的时间所以

you're just looking for a shortcut

你选择了一条通往婚姻的捷径

You're right It's not different

你说得对我俩并无区别

Okay so we agree

很好那就愉快地说定了

Yeah Great

-没错 -太好了

Wait What did we just agree on

等等我俩到底说定了什么

That we shouldn't see each other anymore

说我们不该再继续交往下去了

You know what

这样吧

Why don't you shut the door and I'll just do the cards

不如你先把门关上我再把这叠卡片秀一遍

了你求

Uh do you remember Penny's ex boyfriend Zack

你还记得佩妮的前男友扎克吗

Leonard I remember all of Penny's ex boyfriends

莱纳德我记得佩妮的每一位前任

If you'd like I could list them alphabetically

如果你想听我可以按首字母顺序给你念一遍

No thank you

多谢好意

Fun fact You would think

有趣的是你也许以为

Zack would be the last one on the list

扎克会是名单的最后一位了

but she also dated two Zekes

可她还交往过两个叫齐克的人

Well apparently Zack sold his company

扎克的公司卖了一大笔钱

for a ton of money and retired

他已经过上了退休的生活

And that bothers you

你为此感到不爽吗

I don't know I mean

我不知道我想...

I guess so Yeah

应该是吧

It doesn't seem fair

这太不公平了

I work hard

我工作努力

I'm really smart

智商超群

I've made substantial contributions to my field

在自己的科研领域做出了重大贡献

But Zack gets to be rich

但扎克可以暴富当土豪

while I'm still working for a paycheck

我却还在为薪水苦苦挣扎

Well a lot of people you don't know are rich

还有好多你不认识的人都家财万贯呢

That doesn't seem to bother you Mark Zuckerberg

你并不会为他们而不爽啊马克·扎克伯格

Sultan of Brunei Gordon Letwin

文莱苏丹戈登·莱顿

Who's that

那是谁啊

He's one of the first 11 employees of Microsoft

他是微软最初的11员工之一

Yeah well I don't have to hang out with Gordon Letwin

我又不用跟戈登·莱顿相处

Well that's too bad

太可惜了

He helped create the HPFS file system

他协助发明了高性能文件系统

Oh the stories he could tell

一定有好多有趣的故事可以讲

Penny told him we'd go have dinner with him and his wife

佩妮答应和他们夫妻俩

on their stupid boat

在他们的破船上共进晚餐

Well just tell her you don't want to go

那就告诉她你不想去啊

Well then she'll think I'm being jealous and petty

那样的话她一定觉得我小气又可悲

So you want to seem mature and confident

那你是想显得成熟又大气了

I make one mistake and she says she doesn't want to marry me

我就做错一件事她立马甩脸子不愿和我结婚了

Like she never screwed up Did she

-就跟她从没犯过错一样 -她犯过吗

Well she agreed to marry me

她答应了嫁给我

Honestly

老实说

I think you dodged a bullet

我觉得你倒是躲过一劫

I don't think she was right for you

她配不上你

Howie shh

华仔嘘

What

怎么了

You can't bad mouth Anu

你不能说安努的坏话

They're gonna get back together

万一他俩复合了

and you're gonna look like a jerk

你反而成了罪人一个

I mean remember when we broke up

还记得我俩分手时

and Penny said all those mean things about you

佩妮说了好多你的坏话吗

What did she say

她都说什么了

I don't want to get into it

我不想说细节了

Some of it was hurtful most of it was true

有些话比较伤人不过大部分都是实话

So I'm just supposed to lie to my friend

那我就该欺骗我的朋友吗

I don't want you to lie to me

我不想要你骗我

No one's gonna lie to you

没有人要骗你

Lie

必须骗

She says the only reason I'm marrying her

她说我结婚的唯一理由

is because all my friends are married

是因为我的朋友都结婚了

and I don't want to feel left out

我不愿意孤零零剩下一人

Oh that's nonsense

怎么可能

No She's right

不她说得对

Now what do I say

我现在该怎么说

[扎克之前的生意是菜单设计公司]

名草有主号[菜单结束]

So Marissa how did you guys meet

玛丽萨你俩怎么认识的

Oh it's a pretty funny story

说来很好笑

We met in a bookstore

我俩是在书店遇见的

That is funny

还真是好笑

Yeah I was just there using the bathroom

我只是进去借洗手间

but this one had a stack of books like this tall

但这一位手上可是拿了这么高的书

Oh So you really like to read

所以你很喜欢读书

Oh no I work there

不是的我在那上班

Yeah she is super smart

对她超聪明的

Seriously you name like any book

真的你说出任何一本书名

she'll tell you if she's heard of it

她都能说出她有没有听过

Go on try her

来问她试试

Oh uh well uh

好吧那么

Catcher in the Rye

《麦田里的守望者》

Nope

没听过

Look at that Penny

你瞧佩妮

I guess we both like nerds

看来你我都喜欢书呆

So uh we gonna take this thing out

我们会开船出海吗

Nah It's a little choppy tonight

不了今晚有点风浪

Yeah that's okay this is nice sitting under the stars

没事这样就很好坐在星空下

It's actually kind of peaceful

其实感觉挺宁静的

Well it's a beautiful boat

这艘船真漂亮

Thanks man

谢了哥们

We love it

我俩都很喜欢

Although he's so tall he bangs his head

不过他太高了

almost every time he goes downstairs

每次下楼都会撞到头

After the first couple you don't even feel it

撞了几次之后我已经无感了

Where are our manners

我们太失礼了

Zack let's get our guests something to drink

扎克我们去拿点饮品给客人喝

Oh you got it babe

好的宝宝

I can't believe that guy's rich

真不敢相信这家伙是有钱人

Ooh watch your head

小心撞头

That was a close one

好险差点又撞到

Are you jealous

你是不是妒忌了

I know I know I shouldn't be

我知道我不应该

He's super sweet I should be happy for them

他人超好我应该替他们高兴

Oh it's driving me crazy too

我也快气疯了

Really Yes I was trying to pretend

-真的吗 -真的我本来

like it wasn't so you wouldn't think I was petty

假装自己不在意怕你觉得我小气

Wha turns out we're both petty

事实就是我俩都是小气鬼

I love you so much

我好爱你

Cheers guys

干杯呀两位

Aw thanks Thank you

-谢谢呀 -谢谢

So listen I got to be honest

听我说我得坦白

We sort of have another reason for asking you here

我们邀请你们来其实还有其他原因

We want to have a baby

我们想要个孩子

but we can't do it on our own

但我们自己没法生

It could be because of the game

可能是因为

me and my frat brothers used to play

我以前和大学兄弟会的哥们

where we kicked each other in the balls over and over

常没事就互踢蛋蛋

But the doc says there's no telling

但医生说这说不准

We just don't know

我们不知道原因

You went to college

你居然上过大学

And Zack's always admired you

扎克一直很敬佩你

because you're the smartest person he knows

因为你是他认识的人当中最聪明的

Okay whoa whoa Whoa whoa

等一下等一下等一下

You know this has been such a nice evening

今晚很愉快

Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things

我们在有人说出更多话之前结束吧

Leonard would you be the father of our baby

莱纳德你愿意当我们小孩的父亲吗

Aw you said a thing

你开口说话了

Wow this is really flattering

我受宠若惊

And also really weird right

但这事也很怪异对吧

Oh just to be clear

我先说清楚

you don't get to you know

你可不能... 你懂的

No I

不我...

I got it Just because I slept with your wife

-我明白 -虽然我睡过你老婆

doesn't mean you get to sleep with mine

但不代表你就能睡回我的

We we get it

我们明白

but thank you for saying it out loud

不过谢谢你大声说出来

You're welcome

不客气哦

I know it's a big ask but it would mean so much to us

我知道这请求很重大但你如果能答应就太棒了

Yeah and we really don't want a stranger's you know

是啊我们真的不想要一个陌生人的...

I know sperm

-我懂 -精子

And Zack's always talked about what a great guy Leonard is

扎克总说莱纳德是一个很棒的人

我...

I really don't know what to say

我真的不知道说什么好

Really You don't know what to say

真的吗你不知道说什么好

You know I I think we should talk about this

我想我跟佩妮要先商量一下

Oh yeah Definitely you guys should talk yeah

当然你们应该好好谈一下

Take your time

慢慢来不急

He means privately

他是指我俩私下谈

Right Sorry Sure Yep

-是哦抱歉 -没问题

Come on Zack Okay Yeah

-走吧扎克 -好的

You really think those two should be parents

你真认为那两人该为人父母吗

There's nothing wrong with them

他们一点问题都没有啊

Hello Daddy

你好爸爸

Did you install a camera to spy on your fiancee

你是不是装了摄像头监视你的未婚妻

What

什么

当然没有

That's what her parents told me

她父母跟我说要取消婚礼时

when they said they were calling off the wedding

就是这么说的

But I told them you would never do such a thing

但我告诉他们你绝对不会做出这种事

Thank you

谢谢你

I mean I did install a camera

虽然我确实装了摄像头

and I did spy on her

也监视了她

but I did not install it to spy on her

但我装摄像头并不是为了监视她

Well that's not going to be our story

我们可不能这么跟对方说

Our story is that she's a liar

我们要说她是骗子

And and old An old dirty liar

还人老珠黄是下作的老骗子

Oh no She's she's actually great

不其实她很棒

I'm the one who screwed up

是我把事情搞砸了

Well don't say that to them

别跟他们这么说

She's bad You're good

她超贱你超好

They have to pay me back for my wedding deposits

他们必须把婚礼订金还给我

This is all my fault

这都是我的错

I should have I should have just trusted her

我应该相信她的

So you're saying you still want to get married

那你意思是你还是想跟她结婚

Fine Then I'll call her parents

好吧那我打给她父母

and we'll straighten this whole thing out

把事情说清楚

I don't think she wants to marry me

她应该不想嫁给我了

And honestly

说实话

she deserves someone better

她值得更好的人

Rajesh you need to stop being so hard on yourself

拉杰什你别再对自己那么严苛了

You're a good man

你是个好人

Y You've never told me that

你从没跟我说过

You're also a dope

你也是一个笨蛋

That you've said

这个你说过

But your heart's in the right place

但你的心没有恶意

and you deserve happiness

你理应拥有幸福

So you just need to figure out what you want

所以你只需要想清楚你要的是什么

and if that means cancelling the wedding we cancel the wedding

如果这意味着取消婚礼我们就取消

Thank you

谢谢

But figure it out quickly or I'll be celebrating

但要快点想清楚不然我下次

my next birthday with a lot more elephants

过大寿时大象和万寿菊的数量

and marigolds than I expected

可是会远远多过现在预期的数目

And Leonard just stood there with a big dumb smile on his face

莱纳德站在那里脸上露出白痴一样的笑容

like he was watching a puppy and a monkey make friends

好像他看着小狗和猴子交朋友一样

Well I can see how he'd be flattered to be asked

我可以理解他觉得有人向他提这种要求是荣幸

It's not flattering It's creepy

这不是荣幸这很诡异

Well something can be both flattering and creepy

有些情况可以既是荣幸也很诡异

You know just the other night Sheldon said that my feet

那天晚上谢尔顿说我的脚

looked like Richard Feynman's hands

像物理学家理查德·费曼的手

Really So you'd be okay

是吗如果有人

if someone wanted to use Sheldon as their sperm donor

想让谢尔顿捐精你没意见吗

Oh absolutely not I am the only handmaid in this tale

绝对不行在这个故事里我是唯一的使女

有生育能力的女人"使女"是被圈养的生殖机器

知名小说与剧集《使女的故事》中

So Leonard's really considering this

莱纳德真的在考虑吗

Yes We got in a huge fight about it

对我们大吵了一架

He said well if I don't want to have his baby

他说如果我不想生他的孩子

then why shouldn't someone else be able to Do you believe that

那为什么别人不能生你们能相信这种屁话吗

What

怎么了

Well there is a deep seated biological drive

生物有一种根深蒂固的本能冲动

to pass on your genes

要将自己的基因遗传下去

It's only natural

这是很自然的事

So you're on his side

你们站在他这边吗

Well viewing Leonard as a mammal

将莱纳德看成哺乳动物

it's perfectly understandable

这完全无可厚非

But viewing him as your husband he stinks

但把他看成你的丈夫他可恶极了

And we hate him

我们讨厌他

Really Zack wanted you to donate

真的吗扎克要你捐献

your genetic material for his baby

你的基因做他孩子的爹

Yeah So I'd be helping out a couple who really want a baby

对这样我帮助了一对很想要孩子的夫妻

and they were gonna pay us and Penny freaked out about it

他们还会给我们钱但佩妮完全抓狂了

That doesn't make any sense I know

-这完全没道理 -就是啊

They wanted you

他们要你吗

Yes Sheldon they wanted me

对谢尔顿他们要我

I'm smart I'm nice I'm smart I'm nice

-我聪明善良 -我也聪明善良

And I can eat cheese without clearing out a room

我吃乳制品后不需要让所有人快逃

Are you upset he didn't ask you

他没问你你生气了吗

Of course not I just think it's interesting

当然不是我只是觉得有趣

that of all the people he knows

在他认识的所有人之中

he thinks you're the best choice

他认为你是最佳人选

Well he does

他是这样想的

I don't see why Penny is so against this

我不知道为什么佩妮这么反对

Well perhaps Penny's worried that you haven't considered

也许佩妮担心你没有考虑到

the emotional toll of knowing there's a child out there

情感上的打击知道有个亲生孩子存在

who is biologically yours but not actually yours

但那个孩子却又不属于你

Wow that's really insightful

你的看法相当深刻

Yeah I'm taller than you and I don't have asthma

对我比你高我没有哮喘

Those people are crazy

那两个人真是疯了

Come on I know you're there and I know you know it's me

拜托我知道你在家我知道你知道是我

You're just making this harder Look

-你这样做只会有反效果 -听我说

you were right

你是对的

I was doing this for the wrong reasons

我要和你结婚的理由是错的

You deserve to marry someone who knows

你值得嫁给一位

how amazing you are and who proposes

知道你有多好的人他求婚的原因

because he doesn't want to spend a single day without you

是希望生活中每一天都有你

Not not because he wants to catch up to his friends

而不是因为他想赶上朋友们的节奏

Thank you

谢谢

And I want you to know I think I could be that man

我想让你知道我觉得我可以成为那个男人

Raj I'm not gonna marry you

拉杰我不会嫁给你的

I'm not asking you to Then why are you here

-我没求你嫁给我 -那你来做什么

Because I like you

因为我喜欢你

Okay I like you

好吗我喜欢你

I I like you enough to start this relationship

我对你的喜欢足以从头开始这段恋情

at the beginning not in the middle

而不是跳过开头从中间发展

所以

will you go out on a date with me

你愿意和我约会吗

I don't know

我不知道

求你了

Okay

好吧

But I warn you

但我警告你

I just got out of a weird relationship

我刚结束一段奇怪的关系

and I might complain about my ex a lot

我可能会狂吐槽我的前任

Maybe he's being weird because

他奇怪也许是因为

he doesn't know how to ask for his ring back

他不知道怎么要回订婚戒指

Where you been

你去哪里了

Just out

出去了

All right look um

好吧听我说

I'm sorry that we fought before

抱歉之前我们吵架了

I know this is a really unusual situation

我知道这是一个非常特殊的情况

and if you don't want me to do it I won't

如果你不同意我不会答应他们

Really

真的吗

Yeah

对

We're a team We're in this together

我们是夫妻对这件事一条心

I'll be right back

我马上回来

What is that

这是什么

It's a sample cup

这是取样杯

Really 'Cause it looks like the top off the NyQuil bottle

是吗看起来像感冒药的瓶盖

It's the closest thing I could find

这是我能找到的最像的东西

It's a gesture Shut up All right sorry

-我在表明态度闭嘴 -好的抱歉

So are you saying you're okay with this

那么你是说你没意见吗

I don't know

我不知道

but when I told you I didn't want to have kids

但是我跟你说我不想要孩子时

you didn't have a say in that so

你没有发言权所以...

maybe I don't need to have a say in this

也许这件事我不需要有发言权

Thank you

谢谢

They couldn't have picked a better person

他们也找不到更好的人选了

Are you calling Zack

你在打给扎克吗

No Sheldon Would you say that last part one more time

不打给谢尔顿你能把最后一句再说一遍吗

Oh my

受不了