生活大爆炸-S09E07_生活大爆炸

S01

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Did you hear about this study that found people

你有没有听说过这个研究它的结果显示

that were cool and popular at 13

在13岁左右很酷很受欢迎的人

have problems succeeding later in life

在之后的人生中通常较难获得成功

I'm doing okay and I was very popular at 13

我现在就还行啊我13岁时也很受欢迎

In school

在学校吗

Oh no At home

不是在家

The servants would sing to me

佣人们会给我唱歌

laugh at my jokes

会捧场我的笑话

I wish I knew their names

真希望我知道他们的名字

Does the study say what happens to the unpopular kids

研究有说不受欢迎的孩子之后会如何吗

You tell me you woke up in bed with one

你说呢你每天起床时身旁就有一个

Listen to this

你们听我说

I just received an e mail from Wil Wheaton

我刚收到威尔·惠顿的电邮

Leonard Nimoy's son is working on a documentary

伦纳德·尼莫伊的儿子在拍一部纪录片

that he started with his father before he passed away

在他爸爸过世前就开始拍摄了

It's about Mr Spock and his impact on our culture

主题是史波克先生及他对我们文化的影响

是《星际旅行》中的史波克

演员伦纳德·尼莫伊最著名的角色

Why is he writing to you

那他为啥要写信给你

Well they're looking for fans to interview

他们想找尼莫伊先生的粉丝做访问

and Wil thought I'd be good for it

威尔觉得我挺适合

Oh Hey high five

击个掌

Absolutely not

打死都不要

Yeah Penny

佩妮

you spent some time in front of the camera

你曾有过出镜的经验

Any words of advice

有何建议吗

Yes Don't take your shirt off

有别因为导演叫你脱

just because the director said so

你就真的脱光

This is a documentary about Mr Spock

这是关于史巴克先生的纪录片

I'm sure if there's nudity it will be tasteful

就算真有裸露镜头也一定很有品味

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第七集

Hey You got a minute

有空吗

Not really

不太有

Visigoths are kind of up my butt right now

我跟西哥特人正战得难分难解呢

Pause the game Howard

暂停游戏霍华德

"Howard" Uh oh

叫"霍华德" 惨了

Make room Visigoths

先别碍事西哥特人

'Sup

怎么了

We need to talk about redecorating this place

我们得来谈谈重新装修这房子的事

Oh no not this again

不是吧又来

Look I get that you grew up here

我理解你从小在这里长大

and you're attached to things looking a certain way but

你对屋里的一切有着特殊的感情可...

I want this to feel like my house too

我也想把这里当自己家

Oh honey of course it's your house

亲爱的这里当然是你自己家啦

Why else would you be cleaning it all the time

不然你整天打扫它干嘛

All right Let's start over

好吧我换个方式说

I'm redecorating

老娘要装修

The furniture the carpeting the walls

家具地毯墙都要重弄

I'm changing everything that depresses me when I look at it

老娘要把看了会郁闷的东西全换掉

Try not to be one of those things

试着别让自己也变其中一员

May I say something

我能说一件事吗

Is it about how I can't have new wallpaper

是想说我不能换掉墙纸

'cause your dad left when you were little and your mom died

因为你爹打小就离开你你娘还过世了吗

Never mind

没事儿了

Hello Amy It's Sheldon

艾米是我谢尔顿

Yeah I I know that we're broken up

我知道我们已经分手了

but I'm leaving this message

但我给你留言

because I thought perhaps you'd like to watch me

是觉得你可能有兴趣看我

be interviewed for a documentary about Mr Spock

在史波克先生的纪录片中接受访问

Or as I like to call it a Spockumentary

或者我更爱称之为是"史"记

Yeah I'm going to use that joke in the interview

我会在纪录片里讲这个哏

so try to laugh like you're hearing it for the first time

你看时尽量像第一次听到那样笑出来哦

You know hysterically hmm

你懂吧笑到抽筋

And with a tinge of sadness that I'm no longer in your life

但是又带有一点我已不在身边的悲伤

I'm the one who thought of "Spockumentary""

我才是想出"史"记这名字的人

And I'm laughing like I did the first time I heard it

而我正像第一次听到那样笑着呢

Hello

你们好

Hey Sheldon

你好谢尔顿

This is Adam Nimoy

这位是亚当·尼莫伊

Nice to meet you Oh it's nice to meet you

-幸会 -我也很高兴见到你

I admire your father's work very much

我十分钦佩您父亲的作品

It's not every day I get to meet someone whose life's journey

而能见到从自己偶像的阴囊中

began in my hero's scrotum

开始人生旅途的人也很稀奇

I told you This guy is gold

我就跟你说这家伙绝对极品

Whatcha doing Oh

你在干嘛

Making myself a bologna sandwich like my mom used to make me

给自己做我爹离家后我妈去世前

after my dad left but before she died

她会给我做的腊肠三明治

Okay listen I'm thinking

好啦我在想

that maybe we can compromise on the house

或许房子这件事我们可以有个折衷办法

I'm listening

我听着呢

Let's just redo one room and see how it goes

我们可以先装修一个房间看看效果如何

That is reasonable

此言有理

But what room

但装修哪间房间呢

How 'bout this one No way

-比如这间 -绝对不行

No way this is the room I associate the most with my mom

不行这是我跟我妈互动最多的房间

Then how about the bathroom

那浴室呢

I want to change my answer

其实我们互动最多是在浴室

Fine Then the dining room

好吧那饭厅呢

I guess we didn't use it very often

我们的确是比较不常用那里

Unless we had company

只有有伴时才用

Which didn't happen much after my dad left and not at all

不过在我爹离家后那就不怎么用了

after my mom Great I'm gonna go pick out paint samples

-我妈去世后更是... -很好我去挑油漆样本

All right we're just gonna have a conversation

好的我们就自然对话

Pretend the camera's not here

假装没有镜头在拍你就行了

All right But this better not be some elaborate scheme

好但这最好不是精心设计来

to get me out of my shirt

要骗人家宽衣解带的骗局

How long have you known Adam

你跟亚当认识多久了

A few years

几年了

And what are you getting him back for

他是哪里得罪你了

Let's start with your name and occupation

先从你的名字与职业说起吧

Dr Sheldon Cooper theoretical physicist Caltech

谢尔顿·库伯博士加州理工理论物理学家

And what is your earliest memory of the character Spock

你对史波克这角色最早的记忆是什么呢

The first episode of StarTrek The Original Series I ever saw

《星际旅行:原初》系列中我第一次看

was "The Galileo Seven "

是第1季第16集

Uh Spock had just landed on the planet Taurus II

史巴克在金牛座2号星上降落

Then my brother came in sat on my head

然后我哥走进来坐在我头上

and said "Eat farts "

然后说"吃屁吧"

After that day I was hooked

那次之后我就着迷了

On Star Trek

对《星际旅行》着迷

not my brother's sphincter based cuisine

不是对我哥的"菊花餐点"着迷

What was it about Spock that appealed to you

史波克是哪一点吸引到了你呢

I think the same thing that appeals to people everywhere

我想所有被吸引的人都是因为同个理由吧

the dream of a cold rational world

梦想着一个冷酷理智的世界

entirely without human emotion

完全没有任何人类情感

Spock came from a planet governed only by logic

史波克来自只讲逻辑的地方

You know on Vulcan when your brother asks

在他家乡瓦肯星上如果你的哥哥问你

"Why are you hitting yourself "

"你为什么要打自己"

The answer is "I'm not

那答案会是 "我没有啊

You're moving my arm "

是你在控制我的手"

To which he says "Fascinating "

然后他会回答"太有意思了"

And then you both watch educational television

于是你们就一起看教育频道

Aw When he says things like that

听到他说这类事情时

I just want to hug him and make everything better

我就想过去抱抱他哄哄他

My brother was mean to me too

我哥对我也很坏啊

Yeah you probably had it coming

你绝对是自己找揍

Do you have any Spock collectibles

你有任何史波克的收藏品吗

I have many

我有很多啊

My most treasured is an autographed napkin

但最珍贵的是尼莫伊先生亲笔签名的餐巾

given to me by my very thoughtful friend Penny

来自我体贴的好友佩妮

尼莫伊先生在2015年2月已去世

在第2季第11集时送的

That's her over there

她就在那边

大家好

Look at that

瞧瞧

I'm in a movie my shirt stayed on

不用脱衣服就能出镜了呢

Can we see the napkin

我们能看看那块餐巾吗

Of course Excuse me

当然失陪一下

This will just take a moment

拿出来得费点功夫

When did we get a wall safe

墙式保险箱什么时候装的

When there was no more room in the floor safe

在地板保险箱装满之后啊

When did we get a floor safe

地板保险箱又什么时候装的

When we got the security camera

装了监控摄像机之后啊

There's a security camera

还有监控摄像机吗

Aquaman protecting your home since 2012

潜水侠自2012年以来一直保护你家

Oh my God We've done things on that couch

老天我们在沙发上"做"过好些事情

Yeah You don't have to tell me

是啊你不说我也知道

So your father in law is in there right now

你的岳父现在在这呢

Yes So back me up

是的你要帮我说话

The house is good the way it is Oh okay Got it

-就说这房子维持原样就好 -好的哦了

Hey What's going on

在忙什么呢

Hey Hey Raj

你好拉杰

Dad and I were just talking about taking down this wall

我和爸爸在讨论把这面墙拆掉

You sure It's a pretty great wall

你确定吗这可是...一面好墙啊

What's so great about it

好在哪里

I'm sorry I did what I could

很抱歉我尽力了

Seriously You brought Raj over to take your side

不是吧你把拉杰带过来帮你站队吗

Your dad's on your side

你爸跟你是一队

He's not on my side He's doing all the work for free

他才没有站队他是过来免费帮忙的

That is so generous of you

你真是太慷慨无私了

I'd like to switch sides

我想换一队站

Look uh

听着

I don't even think you can take this wall down

我觉得你们不能把这面墙拆掉

'cause it's load bearing

因为它是承重墙

Well it's easy to find out

想知道很容易

Just go into the crawlspace under the house and check

只要爬到房子和地基中间的夹层一试便知

When is your visa up

你的签证什么时候到期

Not only is it signed to me

这上面不仅有署名给我的签名

but this is where he wiped his mouth

而且这里还是他擦过嘴的地方

So we are currently in the presence of Leonard Nimoy's DNA

现在在大家面前的是伦纳德·尼莫伊的DNA

Um doesn't Adam count as Leonard Nimoy's DNA

亚当不算是伦纳德·尼莫伊的DNA吗

No offense but this is pure 100% Nimoy

无意冒犯但这可是100%纯尼莫伊

Because of your mother you're only 50%

而因为你妈你只有50%的种

Which isn't bad

这也不是坏事

but anything that you wipe your mouth on gets thrown away

但你用来擦嘴的任何东西只会被扔掉

Okay enough about the napkin

好了不说餐巾了

What else you hiding in there

你里面都藏了什么宝贝

Wouldn't you like to know

是不是超想知道啊

I would All right then

-是啊 -那行

See Just my valuables

就是一些我的重要物品

My passport uh my Will

我的护照我的威尔[遗嘱]

You have a will Yeah

-你还立好遗嘱啦 -是啊

my 1/18 scale Wil Wheaton action figure

1:18真人比例的威尔·惠顿手办

I also have the other kind of will

里面也有另一种遗嘱[威尔]

and in it I will my Wil back to Wil

里面写着把我的小威尔赠送给威尔

Will Wil want it

威尔会想要吗

Wil won't

威尔不想要

What's that ring box

戒指盒里面的是什么

Oh That is an engagement ring

那是一枚订婚戒指

that I was going to give my girlfriend Amy

我本来打算送给我女朋友艾米的

What

什么

You bought her a ring

你给她买了戒指啊

No no no This has been in my family for generations

不这是我祖上一代代传下来的

Except for a short time when Comanches cut off

除了中间有一小段时间印第安人

my great great great grandmother's finger and stole it

把我曾曾曾祖母的手指切下来把戒指偷走

Sheldon that's awful No

-谢尔顿这太惨了 -不

The Texas Rangers tracked them down to their village

德州游骑兵追到他们的村子里

and slaughtered every last one of them so

把整个村子给屠了一个活口都没留

it was a happy ending

所以这是个皆大欢喜的结局

Well for my nine fingered Nana

至少我的九指祖母欢喜了

Okay back to the ring Does Amy even know about this

说回戒指艾米知道这事吗

No She broke up with me

不我还没来得及提

before I could broach the subject

她就跟我分手了

Oh man I'm sorry that must have been devastating for you

真遗憾你一定觉得天都塌了吧

No not at all No I'm fine

完全没有我没事

You know Amy had reservations about our relationship

艾米对我们的感情持保留态度

so all worked out for the best

所以这就是最好的结果

I know It just I said I'm fine

-我知道可... -都说了我没事

We've gotten a little off topic

我们有点跑题了

Allow me to make things entertaining again

就让我来说个笑话

in this little Spockumentary

给这部"史"记增加点娱乐性

That was Leonard's joke

那是莱纳德想的笑话

As a child when faced with a dilemma

小时候当我面临两难处境时

my mother encouraged me to ask "What would Jesus do "

我母亲会鼓励我问 "耶稣会怎么做"

The answer to that was always "Love thy neighbor "

答案永远都是 "爱邻如爱己"

But my neighbor had a dead tooth so

但我的邻居有一颗烂牙所以...

that wasn't going to happen

我不可能爱他

But

但...

that's why I changed it to "What would Spock do "

也因此我把问题改成 "史波克会怎么做"

Did you find that helpful

你觉得对你有帮助吗

Yes Oh for example three years ago

对啊比如三年前

when I discovered Penny was eating all my Pop Tarts

当我发现佩妮总吃掉我所有果塔饼干

instead of getting angry or vindictive

我没有生气或怀恨在心

you know I got a floor safe

反之我装了一个地板保险箱

I knew I could smell 'em

我就知道我有闻到饼干味

What about from when you were a kid

不如从你小时候说起

Oh certainly Uh when I was eight years old

好的在我八岁的时候

Billy Sparks cornered me in the playground

比利·斯帕克斯在操场上把我逼到角落

I asked myself "What would Spock do "

我就问我自己 "史波克会怎么做"

Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder

然后我抓住比利的肩膀

and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch

使出了我人生第一次瓦肯掐脖术

由伦纳德尼莫伊本人亲自发明

掐脖术是瓦肯人的一种身体对抗技巧

Did it work

管用吗

Oh no he broke my collarbone

没用啊他把我锁骨弄断了

I can still hear it click

现在一动还会咯咯响

That must have been very upsetting for you

那一定让你非常失望

Oh not at all

完全没有

As I said the entire point of emulating Spock

我前面就说了效仿史波克的重点

was to rise above human emotion

就是克服人类情绪

which I've spent a lifetime mastering

而我已花一生的时间来掌握它

Excuse me

怎么回事

I'm sorry I'm not here

抱歉当我不在

No You went What does mean

不你这样是啥意思

You did go

你的确那样了

All right fine Well Sheldon I'm no expert

好吧谢尔顿我虽然不是专家

but aren't you completely missing the point of Spock

但你好像完全没抓住史波克的重点

I mean he liked to act like he had no emotions

他喜欢表现得好像自己没有情感

but he was still half human

但他仍是半个人类

Just like you

就像你

I'm just saying you pretend you don't

我的意思是你假装你没有

but you have feelings just like everybody else

但你也是有情绪的人就像其他人一样

Not true No look at me

不对你看我

I had an engagement ring to give a girl

我本来要向一位女孩求婚

and instead she rejected me

但在求婚之前她就先跟我分手了

And am I emotional about that No

我有对此情绪激动吗没有

No I am sitting here on a couch

相反我坐在沙发上

talking about my favorite TV character like nothing happened

若无其事般地谈论我最爱的电视角色

'Cause I am just like him

因为我跟他一模一样

all logical all the time

由始至终保持理智

Sweetie you're yelling

亲爱的你已经开始嚷嚷了

Because when I speak at a regular volume

因为当我用正常音量讲话时

no one seems to believe me

都没人相信

that I've put this Amy nonsense behind me

我已经把艾米的这破事抛诸脑后了

This documentary is gonna be awesome

这部纪录片的精彩度绝对爆表

You gonna be okay down here Yeah Yeah

-你在下面没事吧 -没事

I feel like an archaeologist

我觉得自己好像考古学家

Indiana Jones and the Single Family Dwelling

印第安纳·琼斯之单户家庭房历险

Hey Look

看

Found a seashell

我找到一个贝壳

Yeah that's a rat skull

那是死老鼠的头盖骨

Relax

别紧张

There's enough droppings down here without you making more

这里动物屎尿够多了你别再给我们增加

Sorry Do you have a sense of where we are

抱歉你知道我们现在大概到哪里了吗

Yeah I think that's the den

知道我想那里应该是小室吧

Okay so we must be under the dining room

好我们应该是在餐厅下面了

Yep

没错

You know I know you don't want to hear this

我知道你不想听到这个

but it wouldn't take that much work to turn that den

但如果把那个小室改造成婴儿室

into a nursery

花不了什么功夫

Why wouldn't I want to hear it

我为什么不想听到这个呀

'Cause Bernie said you didn't want kids

因为妮妮说你不想要孩子

That's not true at all

完全不是

I I wish she'd get pregnant believe me

我非常希望她怀孕相信我

I'm climbing on top of her every chance I get

我一有机会就往她身上爬

In a loving and respectful manner

当然是以一种充满爱与恭敬的方式

The point is

重点是

I really do want kids

我真的很想要孩子

I don't know why she's lying to you

我不知道她为什么要骗你

She's the one who doesn't want kids

她才是不想要孩子的那个

In fact every time I bring up the subject

事实上每次我提到这事

Earthquake

地震来了

Oh my God we're gonna die

我的天我们死定了

Aftershock

余震来了

I can't believe Sheldon was gonna ask Amy to marry him

我不敢相信谢尔顿本来打算向艾米求婚

I know

我知道

I also can't believe he watched what we did on that couch

我更不敢相信他目睹了我们在沙发上"做"的事

and still sits on it Yeah

-还敢坐在上面 -是呀

Hello

你们好

Hey buddy How you doing

老兄你还好吗

Better

好多了

Did Wil and Adam leave Yeah

-威尔和亚当走了吗 -走了

Do you think they're going to put my outburst in the documentary

你觉得他们会在片里留下我暴怒的片段吗

Definitely Oh yeah

-肯定了 -绝对的

Well there's no point in dwelling on it

我也不需要纠结这事

As the Vulcans say

借用一句瓦肯人的俗语

"Kup fun tor ha'kiv na'ish du stau "

"人已杀你无力还命"[瓦肯语]

Do you know what that means No

-你懂他的意思吗 -不懂

Are you telling the truth

你说的是实话吗

Nirsh

非也[瓦肯语]

Well this is ridiculous

这一切都太荒唐了

Being upset about Amy all the time isn't accomplishing anything

总是为艾米的事伤心不能解决任何问题

If I want to resolve this situation

如果我想解决这件事

then I need to take action

我就要行动起来

What are you gonna do

你要干什么

I'm going to find her and ask her to marry me

我要去找她向她求婚

And if she says yes we can put this behind us

如果她答应了我们就把这事彻底忘掉

and resume our relationship

重新开始我们的关系

And if she says no

如果她不肯答应

well then she can just ponfo miran

那她就可以去自尽了[瓦肯语]

He didn't meant that

他不是真心的

So I should probably explain why I kind of fibbed

也许我该解释下我为什么撒了个小谎

That would be nice

那想必是极好的

I told my dad that you were the one who didn't want kids

我告诉我爸你不想要孩子

because I didn't want to disappoint him

是因为我不想让他失望

But you were okay throwing me under the bus

让我当替死鬼你就忍心吗

Turns out yeah I didn't think twice about it

事实证明我对此毫不犹豫

Bernie you don't need to worry about me

妮妮你不用担心我

But I don't want to see you miss out

但是我不想看你错过这一切

Raising children was the most rewarding experience of my life

养育孩子是我人生中最获益匪浅的体验

Oh please Mom did everything

得了吧啥都是我妈干的

All you did was come home from work

你只不过是每天下班回家

sit on the couch and drink beer

坐在沙发上喝啤酒

How is that raising kids

这算哪门子养育孩子

This is really a conversation for husband and wife

这话题看来只适合夫妻俩谈

I'm gonna go clean up hit the road

我这个外人还是洗洗回家吧

If your mother asks I was here till 10 00

如果你妈问起我晚上10点才离开这里

It's interesting your father didn't help around the house

真有趣你爸爸不太做家务

and Howard doesn't help either

霍华德也不爱做家务

so in a way

所以从某种程度来说

Howard's not only like your father

霍华德不光是像你爸爸

but he's also like the child that you're afraid to have

他还像是你不敢生的孩子一样

Why are you still here

你怎么还不滚啊

Fine I'll leave

好吧我走了

But it sounds like somebody needs a fresh diaper

不过某人好像需要换尿布啦

All right

好吧

I admit

我承认

that I don't help out a lot

我的确不怎么帮忙干家务

And I need to work on that

我需要改进这一点

But

但是

if we had a kid

如果我们有了孩子

it would be different

一切都会不一样

Why Because

-为什么 -因为

when my dad left

当我爸离开时

I promised myself that

我对自己保证说

if I ever had a chance to be a father

如果我有机会做爸爸

I'd always be there

我一定陪在孩子身边

Okay I'll think about it

好吧我会考虑的

And this an actual "I'll think about it "

你这是认真考虑

not like the "Can we get a motorcycle with a sidecar

而不是像"我们能买辆带跨斗的摩托车吗"

I'll think about it"

那样的"考虑一下"吧

It's an actual "I'll think about it "

我是真的会认真考虑的

I really believe I'd be a great dad

我相信我会成为一位好爸爸

I know you would

我也相信你会

Speaking of

既然说到

making babies what do you say I wash up

生宝宝不如我马上洗漱一下

and poke around your crawlspace

然后戳戳你的小通道好不好啊

Dr Dana feels he isn't that dangerous

达娜医生觉得他没有那么危险

What makes you right and a trained psychiatrist wrong

我凭什么相信你而不相信一位医生的话

Because she feels I don't

因为她有情感而我没有

All I know is logic

我只按逻辑做事

Yeah right

切鬼才相信

You can just shut your feelings off

你能就这样把情感大门关上

There goes television lying to us again

电视又一次欺骗了我们

We let you raise our children

我们让你养育我们的孩子

and this is the thanks we get

结果你就这样报答我们

Leonard how could I have been so foolish

莱纳德我怎么能这么蠢

to try and follow in the footsteps

试图去追随一个虚构的

of a made up alien race with no emotions

没有情感的外星人种族的脚步

Well now instead of idolizing fictional characters

除了崇拜科幻人物你还可以

you can focus on the real people who are already in your life

把注意力放在身边的真实人物上啊

Those are very wise words

好一句至理名言

Thank you

谢谢

They'd just be so much more comforting

如果来自电视里

if they came out of a television

听起来就更安慰人了