生活大爆炸-S12E16_生活大爆炸

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All right Professor Proton fans

好的各位《质子教授》粉丝们

get ready to meet Dr Sheldon Cooper

准备好迎接谢尔顿·库珀博士

and Dr Amy Farrah Fowler

与艾米·菲拉·福勒博士吧

a pair of real life scientists

这对夫妇可是真实的科学家

who may win the Nobel Prize

还很有可能赢得诺贝尔奖呢

That's like the Kids' Choice Award

那是一个类似儿童选择奖

选出的杰出电视电影音乐人还会被绿油漆灌顶

美国某儿童台所举办由14岁以下儿童投票

but with more science and less slime

但是更有科学含量也没有那么多绿油漆

Hi thanks for having us

你好感谢贵节目邀请我们

Kids' Choice Award

儿童选择奖

Why would they let kids choose anything

为什么会有人让儿童选任何东西啊

They're basically human larvae

儿童基本就是人类的幼虫啊

Well they are kind of our target audience

他们算是本节目的目标观众群呢

Greetings children

你们好啊孩子们

Toys am I right

玩具超棒我没说错吧

He is He has hundreds of them

是的他就有几百个玩具

So you two have discovered something

所以你们俩发现了某些

that a lot of people are really excited about

让很多人都十分感兴趣的东西

We have

的确是

Now before you explain it

在你们开始解释之前

keep in mind that our average viewer is this many

请记得我们的平均观众年龄只有这么大

Okay imagine you're looking in a mirror

好的请幻想一下自己看着镜子

The image you see looks just like you

镜中的画面看起来与你一模一样

That's called symmetrical

这就叫做对称

Now imagine you have a billion mirrors

现在请幻想你有几十亿个镜子

and each of them reflects one thing about you correctly

每一面镜子都正确反照出了一部分的你

and a billion things about you incorrectly

但也错误反照出了一部分的你

And imagine the set of incorrect things

再幻想一下那些被错误反照的部分

are floating in an abstract n dimensional hyperspace

在一个抽象的N维超空间里漂浮着

Now imagine there was never a mirror to begin with

现在再幻想一下那些镜子从开始就不存在

Oh was that a doorbell

那是门铃声吗

I didn't hear anything

我没听到啊

Huh there it is again

又有一声了

Sheldon why don't you answer it

谢尔顿你去开门吧

But I don't know who it is

但我不知道是谁来了啊

Maybe it's a special guest who I invited just to surprise you

或许是某个我邀请来给你惊喜的特别来宾

Why don't you open it up and find out

你去开门查明真相吧

This is a terrible message to send to children

这是给孩子很不好的示范

Children you never open the door

孩子们永远不能在

if you don't know who's on the other side

不知道门后是谁的情况下给人开门

You always make your mommy or daddy do it

你一定要让爸爸或妈妈去开门

while you hide under the bed and try to imagine

而你躲到床底下开始想象

what your superhero name will be when you avenge their deaths

你以后成为超级英雄去报杀父母之仇时的名字

I'll get it

我去开吧

But it can't be The Silver Shadow that's mine

但你不能叫银影这名字是我的

Hello

你好啊

Captain on the bridge Captain on the bridge

舰长驾到了舰长驾到了

You're William Shatner

你是威廉·夏特纳

进取号星舰舰长詹姆斯 T 柯克的角色

曾饰演《星际旅行:初代》及其的七部衍生电影中

You can call me Bill

你可以叫我比尔

Ooh can I call you Captain ‭No

-我能称你为舰长吗 -不能

Please ‭ No

-拜托了 -不行

Please

求求你

Sure

可以

And w will you call me Science Officer Cooper

那你能叫我库珀科学官吗

This has got to stop

别再闹下去了

I think you know how to make it stop

你知道怎么样让我停下来

Put her there Science Officer Cooper

握个手吧库珀科学官

Put her there Science Officer Cooper

握个手吧库珀科学官

Oh poor Shatner

可怜的夏特纳

Poor Shatner I have to eat lunch now

还可怜的夏特纳我现在要吃午饭更可怜

Look Sheldon's pretty embarrassed

听我说谢尔顿觉得挺羞耻的

so when he gets here we should

所以等一下他来了我们...

Make fun of him ‭A lot

-疯狂嘲讽他吗 -暴风吐槽

Guys don't you think that's a little mean

两位你们不觉得这样有点损吗

Yeah ‭Okay just so we're all on the same page

-是有点 -我就确定一下我们都想耍贱

Hello Hey

-各位好 -你好啊

So Sheldon did you get William Shatner's autograph

谢尔顿你收到威廉·夏特纳的签名

or maybe his dry cleaning bill

或是他的干洗账单了吗

Very funny get it all out

好好笑要吐槽快吐

Like you did on William Shatner

就像你吐在威廉·夏特纳身上那样吗

Raj do you have something to add

拉杰你还有什么要补充的吗

You brought shame upon yourself and your family

你丢了你自己与你全家人的脸

It's not funny but it's true

这不好笑但这是真的

I will admit the meeting did not go the way I wanted

我承认那次见面没有按我预想中发展

Because you barfed where no man has barfed before

因为你吐在了无人吐过之处吗

Well the next time I meet him it will go better

下一次我再见到他情况会好很多的

Next time What makes you think there's gonna be a next time

下一次你凭什么觉得人家还会再见你

Wil will give me another chance He thinks the world of me

威尔再给了我一次机会他十分仰慕我

Aw One of the reasons I love you

我爱你的其中一个原因

is you actually believe that

就是因为你真会信这种话

Thank you

谢谢

Wil Wheaton Wil Wheaton

威尔·惠顿威尔·惠顿

Wil Wheaton

威尔·惠顿

Wil Wheaton

威尔·惠顿

Wil Wheaton

威尔·惠顿

Wil Wheaton

威尔·惠顿

Now's not a good time Sheldon

现在不太方便谢尔顿

For what ‭ You

-不方便干嘛 -见你

I need to apologize

我需要来道歉

Apology accepted Wil come on

-接受你的道歉 -威尔快点啊

I cast fireball

我释放了火球术

you need to roll your dexterity save

你得来掷骰决定敏捷调整值

I'll be right there

我马上来

Are you playing Dungeons & Dragons

你们在玩《龙与地下城》吗

No ‭ Would you hurry up man

-没有 -你能不能快点啊

the map says this dungeon's full of dragons

地图上写着这地下城里到处都是龙

Still no Who are you playing with

-真的不是 -你在跟谁玩啊

Ugh it's just some friends you don't know them

我的一些朋友你不认识他们

Wheaton get back here

惠顿快回来

Hobgoblins are at the gate

大地精冲到大门啦

and you're at the door buying Girl Scout Cookies

而你却在门口买女童子军的饼干

Is that William Shat Nope

-那是威廉·夏... -不是

Hey you guys want to read my fan fiction mash up

你们想不想读一下我写的同人小说

"Captain Marvelous Mrs Maisel"

《了不起的麦瑟尔队长夫人》

Nope ‭Certainly not

-不要 -敬谢不敏

You don't even know what it's about

你们都还不知道内容如何呢

Is it about a superhero

是不是关于一个

who finds her voice by doing stand up

通过脱口秀实现超能力的超级英雄呀

That's so much better than what I had

你这创意可比我写得好多了

Mine is just a Jewish girl that flies

我笔下只是一个会飞的犹太姑娘

I'd read that

我愿意读这故事

Guys guys Wil Wheaton

各位威尔·威顿

hosts a secret celebrity D&D game

在家里办了秘密《龙与地下城》的名人局呢

How do you know ‭Who was there

-你怎么知道 -都有谁参加呢

Why are you damp

你怎么浑身湿漉漉的

I was trying to peek in Wil's window

我想从威尔的窗户偷窥来着

and he turned the sprinklers on

结果他打开了花园洒水器喷我

Oh that means they must be really famous

这就代表那些人一定很出名了

I'm almost positive I heard William Shatner

我基本确定我听到了威廉·夏特纳的声音

I wonder who else is playing

我好奇还有哪些人也参加了

I I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows

我想我们可以用图形理论来分析威尔认识谁

and who is likely to play D&D Yes

-和谁有可能来玩《龙与地下城》 -没错

Okay obviously he's connected to the whole Next Gen cast

他肯定和《星际旅行: 下一代》的演员都熟啦...

So this is the rest of our night huh

我们今晚接下来就是这内容了吗

Oh no

不

this is the rest of our lives

是我们此生接下来都是这些了

And Josh Brolin gets you to every Avenger

乔什·布洛林[灭霸]和每个复联成员都认识

Kevin Smith's in this article

这篇写哪些名人会玩《龙与地下城》的文章

about celebrities who play D&D

提到了凯文·史密斯[美国导演]

Oh A And he was on Wil's podcast

而且他也上过威尔的播客

so they know each other

所以他们互相认识

G Go on his Instagram

快去他的照片分享网看看

see if you can find anything

有没有任何线索

Yeah he he posted something an hour ago

他一个小时前发了点东西

"#GameNight "

话题"游戏夜"

That looks like Wil's house

这看起来很像威尔的家

William Shatner

威廉·夏特纳

Kevin Smith who else could be there

凯文·史密斯还会有谁呢

Do you see what I see over his shoulder

你有看到我在他肩膀后看到的东西吗

Is that a ghost

那是个鬼吗

I think it's Stuart

我看着像斯图尔特

That is Stuart What What's he doing there

还真是斯图尔特他在那里干什么

Maybe he died in Wil's house

也许是他死在威尔的家里

and he can't leave until he solves his own murder

在破解自己的谋杀案之前都无法离开

Why would Wil invite Stuart and not us

为什么威尔会邀请斯图尔特而不是我们

I know the answer ‭Yeah

-我知道答案 -没错

We all know the answer

我们都知道答案

Hey guys

各位

You're home late

今天回来有点晚啊

Uh yeah

是的

I had a crazy night I went to the pharmacy

我今晚过得可疯狂了我去了药店

I like to be there when the new decongestants drop

我喜欢在新款鼻塞药上架时在那等着呢

Cut the crap We know where you were

少胡扯我们知道你去了哪里

We know what you were doing

我们知道你干了什么

Yeah I just told you I was at CVS breathing my ass off

我跟你们说啦我去药店狂吸鼻塞药了

Oh you were breathing all right

你的确是去狂吸了

You were breathing the rarefied air of celebrities

你吸的是稀薄的名人之气

I don't know what you're talking about

我不懂你在说什么

Then why are you trembling

那你抖个什么劲

I'm always trembling

我不是时刻都发抖吗

We know you were at Wil's D&D game

我们知道你参加了威尔的《龙与地下城》游戏

We saw you on Instagram

我们在照片墙上看到你了

We just want to know how you got invited

我们想知道你是如何被邀请的

I can't talk about it or they won't invite me back next week

我不能说否则他们下周就不带我玩了

So there's another game next week

所以下周还会举办一次对吧

I didn't mean to say that

我没想泄露这个

Who's in it I can't tell you

-都有谁参加了 -我不能告诉你们

How do we get invited I don't know

-我们怎么才能受邀请 -我不知道

How many hit dice are they playing the wereboar as having

他们给野猪人多少生命骰

12D8 + 24 I mean I don't know

12D8 + 24 我是说我不知道

Hey Stuart

斯图尔特

I don't want to play anymore It's too much pressure

我不想再玩了压力太大了

Why what happened I've I've said too much

-怎么了出什么事了 - 我泄露了太多东西

You haven't said anything

你什么都还没说呢

Not to you to them Who's them

-不是对你是对他们 -他们是谁

Ah Now I have said too much

现在我泄露太多了

But y you blocked your number right

你隐藏了你的号码吧

Relax

放松点

this is not my first creepy phone call

这又不是我第一次打骚扰电话了

It's like riding a bike

这就像骑自行车...

slowly past a girl's house

缓缓经过一个女孩的家

Hello

你好

Wil

威尔

Bill Shatner here

我是威廉·夏特纳

Is this Howard

你是霍华德吧

Of course not It It's Shatner

当然不是我是夏特纳

If you don't believe me ask my good friend Christopher Walken

不信你问我的好朋友克里斯托弗·沃肯[演员]

Hello Bill and I are just hanging out

你好比尔和我正在...

at The Polo Lounge

马球酒吧呢

Mr Shatner Mr Walken here are your martinis

夏特纳先生沃肯先生这是您二位的马丁尼

What are you doing

你搞什么呀

I'm filling out the world You're ruining it

-我在帮你增加可信度 -你毁了我的表演

No he's not

不他没有

Thanks Wil

谢了威尔

Sheldon why are you walking everywhere Just get a horse

谢尔顿你为什么要徒步走骑个马啊

I had a horse It got hit by a train

我有匹马它被火车撞死了

Get another one

那就再弄一匹呀

I can't just replace Chauncey

我不能就这样把昌西换掉

I'm still in the grieving process

我还在哀悼期呢

Hey Leonard I have an opening in my D&D game next week

莱纳德我本周《龙与地下城》的局有个空位

and I was wondering if you were interested in playing

我想问你有没有兴趣来玩

Well yes thank you

当然有啦谢谢邀请

Okay great

太好了

Now here's the thing you can't tell anyone

有个条件你不能告诉任何人

I'm serious not Howard not Raj

我是认真的不能告诉霍华德拉杰

and certainly not Sheldon

尤其是谢尔顿

Okay

好的

I'm really sorry to put you in a position

很抱歉让你不得不

where you have to lie to your friends

对你朋友们说谎

See you there

到时见

You come face to face with a massive monster

你面前有一只巨大的怪物

with a gaping maw

正朝你张开血盆大口

full of teeth three huge legs and flailing tentacles

它有满嘴利齿三条巨腿触手乱舞

What do you do

你会怎么做

Fellas it looks like we're facing a an otyugh

各位看样子我们遇到的是食腐怪

Here's the plan

我打算这样对付它

Hold on there Bill

等等比尔

Now what Kareem

又怎么了卡里姆

How do we know it's not a neo otyugh

我们怎么知道它不是新式食腐怪

Same way I know the difference

跟我判别枭熊和熊地精

between an owlbear and a bugbear

是同一个方法

Does that answer your question

这回答你的问题了吗

没有

Look there's one way to settle this

只有一个办法能解决这问题

we chop it up and look at the pieces

把怪物分尸观察它的尸块

Oh come on why do you always got to attack everything

拜托你为什么每次都要攻击所有生物

Why can't we just try talking to it

就不能试试跟它沟通吗

Big surprise Podcast here wants to talk

真不意外播客主持人选择谈话

What do you think Leonard

你觉得呢莱纳德

I think this is the greatest day of my entire life

我觉得今天是我人生中最幸福的一天

It's all right buddy one day you'll meet a girl

没事的兄弟有一天你会遇到一个妹子

Hey how was your lecture

你的讲座进行得怎么样

Oh it was so good

棒得不得了

I I I mean it it started great

一开始就很棒

and then the the middle was great

然后中间也很棒

and then the ending was like

到结尾时简直

So great

棒到上天

Leonard if you went to House of Pies again just say it

莱纳德如果你又去了派之家餐厅直说就好

Wait if you think I'm lying

等等如果你觉得我在说谎

why do you think I'm eating pies

你为什么觉得我是去吃派了

Why don't you think I'm having an affair

你为什么不怀疑我是有小三了

Listen I it's fine just next time bring me a slice

真的没关系啦下次给我也带一块就好

Okay well if you really want to know

好吧如果你真心想知道

I'll tell you where I was

我就告诉你我去哪了

I was at Wil's D&D game but that's all I can say

我去威尔家玩《龙与地下城》了其他的不可说

Oh fun Were there famous people there

真好玩现场有名人吗

Ah sorry I I I can't tell you that

抱歉我不能说

Okay well yes

好吧有啦

but I I I I can't tell you who

但我不能告诉你有谁

Well no I I can tell you Shatner

不对我能告诉你有夏特纳

but that's only because you already knew that one

但只是因为你已经知道有他了

Well I'm glad you had fun Yeah

-你玩得开心很好啊 -嗯

Ugh I wish I could tell you who else was there

我真希望能告诉你还有谁在

I can't I promised

但我不能说我答应过他

Yeah if it makes you feel better I couldn't care less

不知道这话能不能让你好过些老娘不在乎

That's true

没错

you don't care so there's no harm in telling you

你不在乎所以告诉你也无妨

Okay you really don't have to

你真的不用说没关系

All right I'll tell you Uh

好啦人家就告诉你啦

Kevin Smith was there

有凯文·史密斯

and and uh this really tall guy named Kareem

还有个个子很高的人叫卡里姆

Wait wait K Kareem Abdul Jabbar

等等卡里姆·阿卜杜·贾巴尔吗[篮球巨星]

I don't know it was uh Kareem something Jabbar

我不知道反正是叫卡里姆什么什么贾巴尔

How do you know him

你怎么会认识他

How do you not know him

你怎么会不认识他

Well I know him now 'cause he was there

我现在就认识啦因为他也去了

That is so cool

实在太酷了

Oh a and that uh the guy that played

对了还有在《真爱如血》里

the werewolf on on True Blood

演狼人的那个演员

he was there Wh Joe Manganiello

-他也在 -乔·曼根尼罗吗

Uh yeah ‭ From Magic Mike

-对 -演《魔力麦克》那个吗

曼根尼罗在该电影里饰演脱衣舞男

What's that

那是什么

Okay okay

好等等

did he look like this

他是不是长这样

He had his clothes on but yeah

他今晚有穿衣服不过是他没错

I can't believe you met Joe Manganiello

你居然见到乔·曼根尼罗了

Is he nice ‭ Oh he's so nice

-他人好不好 -他人超好

I I I rolled my dice underneath the couch

我把骰子滚掉到沙发底下了

and he just lifted it up one hand

他用一只手就把沙发抬起来了

Oh I I bet he did

我想也是

Hi Okay can you guys keep a secret

姐妹们能帮我保守一个秘密吗

Yeah ‭ Sure

-可以 -当然

Good 'cause I can't

很好因为我保守不了

Leonard played Dungeons & Dragons

莱纳德跟《魔力麦克》里

with the hot guy from Magic Mike

那个翘屁猛男一起玩《龙与地下城》

I never got to see that movie Seriously

-我没看完那部电影 -真的吗

Yeah Howie made us leave

真的霍华德发现

as soon as he realized it wasn't about magic

电影不是讲魔法之后就让我们走了

Well I have seen that movie one or seven times

那部电影我看过一遍或七遍

and trust me it is magic

相信我绝对充满"魔法"

Which guy ‭ That one

-是里面哪一个 -这个

Abracadabra

嘛哩嘛哩哄

Hey you know what was fun

你们知道什么好玩吗

That time we played Dungeons & Dragons

我们那次玩《龙与地下城》

That was fun We should play that more

确实很好玩我们应该多玩

Sorry what now

抱歉你们说什么了

Hey what are you guys doing here

你们怎么会来

Oh I uh think Sheldon might have left something

谢尔顿好像落了点东西在这里

Oh you mean besides his lunch

你是指除了他的午餐之外的东西吗

You are so funny Wil

你太搞笑了威尔

We were just talking about how funny you are

我们刚刚还在说你有多幽默

Yeah Leonard told you didn't he

莱纳德告诉你了对吧

Yeah Yup

-是的 -对

It's Manganiello

喜欢曼根尼罗吗

Uh huh ‭Mm hmm ‭

-是的 -当然

Feel good about yourselves

自我感觉良好吗

Nope ‭ No ‭

-没 -没

Yeah

是的

Oh we're going with no No

要说没有吗没有

Hey guys

大家好

What are you smiling about

你笑个什么劲儿

What This is my regular face

怎么了我平常表情就这样

No it's not

不不是的

Y Your regular face is more like this

你平常的表情是这样的

No no I it's it's more in the eyebrows like this

不重点在眉毛是这样的

Okay make your jokes

想开玩笑尽管开

I'm still in a great mood

我心情依然很好

Wait what

慢着什么

Why

为什么

Oh come on but

拜托但是

O Okay fine

好吧好

Huh Raj was right it is more in the eyebrows

拉杰说得对重点在眉毛

What was that all about

什么事

Wil kicked me out of his D&D game

威尔把我踢出了他的《龙与地下城》游戏局

You were in Wil's D&D game

你参加了威尔的《龙与地下城》游戏吗

With William Shatner And you didn't tell us

-和威廉·夏特纳一起 -你居然没告诉我们

I'm sorry Wil made me promise not to

对不起威尔让我发誓不说出去

I thought we were friends

我以为我们是朋友

Oh come on you guys would do the same thing

得了你们也会这样做的

No we wouldn't I told you when I was

不我们不会我在动感单车课上

in spin class with Scarlett Johansson

碰到斯嘉丽·约翰逊我就告诉你了

It didn't even turn out to be Scarlett Johansson

结果根本不是斯嘉丽·约翰逊

Well that's her fault not mine

那是她的错不关我事

It doesn't matter

根本不重要了

because Penny blabbed about it and now I'm out

因为佩妮到处大嘴巴现在我出局了

So there's an open seat

所以说空出来一个位置

Wil ‭Wil Wheaton

威尔威尔·惠顿

Open Open

开门开门

No No No

不行不行不行

Hell no

死都不行

Look we know Leonard is out You need to fill a seat

我们知道莱纳德出局了你需要有人补上

It should be one of us

应该是我们中的一个

Or give me another chance

或者再给我一次机会

I think me and Joe Manganiello were really hitting it off

我觉得我和乔·曼根尼罗真的一拍即合

Joe Manganiello was there From Magic Mike

-乔·曼根尼罗也在吗 -演《魔力麦克》的那个

You guys suck

你们真是烂人

不

All of you

你们所有人都是

You're just trying to use me

你们只是利用我

to get close to my famous friends

来接近我的名人朋友

Do you know how that makes me feel

知道这让我有什么感觉吗

Flattered

受宠若惊

Used

被利用

I was gonna guess that

我本来打算猜这个

One of the worst things about being a celebrity

做名人最糟心的一点就是

is you never know if people like you for you

你永远不知道人们是否是因为你而喜欢你

Well thanks for letting me know

感谢你们让我知道

You're right that was really crappy of us

你说得对我们这样真的很烂

Yeah I guess we just got caught up in the excitement

是啊我们一时兴奋晕了头

We're sorry Wil We do like you for you

对不起威尔我们喜欢的就是你

And if it makes you feel any better

希望这话能安慰到你

I don't even really consider you a celebrity

我甚至不觉得你是名人

Should we go or do you want to wait for the sprinklers

我们要走吗还是等着花园洒水器喷水

Guys I I still feel a little bad about Wil

各位威尔的事我还是有点过意不去

Me too

我也是

Yeah We should invite him to come play with us

是我们应该邀请他和我们一起玩

Ask him to bring some chips

叫他带点薯片上来

because we're all out

我们的吃完了

Hey Wil this is Leonard

威尔我是莱纳德

Make it Bugles

叫他带妙脆角

No no no no no pretzel sticks

算了算了要椒盐脆饼干棒

No no no Bugles

不不还是妙脆角

We're gonna play some D&D

我们要玩《龙与地下城》

and thought you might want to join us

想着也许你想一起玩

Thank you Leonard but actually I can't do it tonight

谢谢你莱纳德但是我今晚不能去

Uh how about another time

要不改天吧

Okay great Thanks Bye

太好了谢谢拜拜

Okay where were we

好了到哪里了

I was about to go all Wrath of Khan on the ogres

我正准备对食人魔施"可汗的愤怒"

Oh man that's it

够了你

Put another dollar in the Star Trek jar Bill

再放一块钱到《星际迷航》梗罐子里比尔

Worth it

值了

Speaking of putting dollars in things

说到把小额钞票塞进某处

I loved you in Magic Mike

我喜欢你在《魔力麦克》中的表现

‭Thanks

谢谢

Switch places with me

和我换位置

Are we playing musical chairs or Dungeons & Dragons

我们是在玩抢椅子游戏还是《龙与地下城》

Yeah let's teach that ogre what my broadsword tastes like

对让那个食人魔尝尝我大刀的厉害

I like your moxie

我欣赏你的武勇

I like your grandpa words

我喜欢你的爷爷辈用语

My dad and I watched you win back to back championships

我和爸爸看了你连赢两年总冠军

And I watched you sniff Joe's hair when he wasn't looking

我看到你趁乔不注意时偷闻他的头发

Thanks again for inviting us

再次感谢邀请我们

And don't worry we won't tell the guys

别担心我们不会告诉那几个男生

You know what Why don't you tell the guys

不如你去告诉他们

In fact let's all take a picture and sent it to them right now

干脆我们合影一张现在发给他们

Tha's weird

好奇怪

We deserve that

是我们活该