生活大爆炸-S01E09_生活大爆炸

S01

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Okay

好

The x tens are online

X-10(先进网络技术)已经联网了

Gentlemen I am now about send a signal

先生们我现在要通过这台电脑发射一个信号

From this laptop through our local isp

连接到我们当地的互联网服务供应商

Racing down fiber optic cable at the speed of light

以光速在光纤电缆中传输到旧金山

To san francisco bouncing off a satellite

再通过地球同步轨道卫星

In geosynchronous orbit to lisbon portugal

反射到葡萄牙的里斯本

Where the data packets

在那里数据将

Will be handed off to submerged trans atlantic cables

切换到跨大西洋海底电缆

Terminating in halifax nova scotia

最终汇聚到加拿大新斯科舍省的哈里法克斯

And transferred across the continent

再通过微波中继跨越整个大陆

Via microwave relays back to our isp

最后回到我们的互联网服务供应商

And the x ten receiver attached to this

而X-10的接收器就连接着这个...

Lamp

灯

Look at me look at me I've got goose bumps

快看快看我鸡皮疙瘩都起来了

Are we ready on the stereo

我们试试音响准备好了没

Go for stereo

快试试音响

Hey guys

伙计们

Hi hello hello

-你好 -你好

It's a little loud

声音有点大

No problem turning it down

没问题马上关小它

San francisco lisbon halifax

旧金山里斯本哈里法克斯

And voila

瞧好了吧(法语)

Okay thanks

好谢了

Hang on hang on do you not realize what we just did

等等等等你是不是没明白我们在干什么

Yeah you turned your stereo down with you laptop

明白你们用电脑把音响关小了

No we turned our stereo down by sending a snall

不是我们通过互联网走了地球一圈

Around the world via the internet

发送了一个命令把音响关小的

You know you can just get one of those universal remotes

其实这样一个遥控装置

At radio shack they're really cheap

在瑞帝优上(美国电子产品零售企业)里有买而且很便宜

No no You don't get it

不不你还是没明白

Howard enable public access

霍华德开启公共接入功能

Public access enabled

公共接入已开启

Boy that's terrific I'll see ya

真不赖伙计们我先走了

No hang on hang on

别等等等等

See

看到没?

没有

Someone in szechwan province china

在中国四川省的某个人

is using his computer

正在通过他的电脑

To turn our lights on and off

远程开关我们的灯

Well that's handy

那倒是很方便

Here is the question Why

我提个问题为什么要做这个?

Because we can

因为我们可以做到

They found the remote control cars

他们发现了远程遥控汽车

Well wait wait what's on top of that

等等等等车顶上是什么?

Wireless web cams wave hello

无线网络摄像头打个招呼

The monster truck is out of austin texas

那辆大货车来自德克萨斯州的奥斯丁

And the blue viper is being operated

而"蓝毒蛇"正在被一个来自

From suburban tel aviv

以色列特拉维夫郊区的人控制

You may want to put on slacks

你也许应该穿条裤子

What

什么

Ew stop it

快停下来

No leave me alone

不离我远点

Who's running the red corvette

那个红色雪佛兰是谁控制的?

That would be me

是我

By aBu 201705

天才也性感第一季第九集

You know in the future

你们知道吗在将来

When we're disembodied brains in jars

当我们能把大脑取出来放到罐子里时

We're going to look back at this as eight hours well wasted

我们回过头看看这八小时会觉得那真无聊

I don't want to be in a jar

我不想被放到罐子里

I want my brain in an android body

我想把我的大脑放在机器人身上

Eight feet tall and ripped

最好身高八英尺身材健美

I'm with you

我支持你

I just have to make sure that if I'm a synthetic human

我只是要确保假使我成了合成人

I'd still be jewish

我也还得是犹太人

I promised my mother

我答应过我妈妈

I suppose you could have your android penis circumcised

我猜你还得给你那机器人鸡鸡做个包皮手术

But that's something

但那是你的犹太教主

Your rabbi would have to discuss with the manufacturer

和机器人制造者需要讨论的问题

Not to mention you'd have to power down on saturdays

更不用说每到周六你还得把电源关了

Sheldon why is this letter in the trash

谢尔顿这信怎么在垃圾桶里?

Well there's always the possibility that a trash can

在一封信旁边自动生成一只垃圾桶

Spontaneously formed around the letter

是有可能出现的事情

But occam's razor

但奥卡姆剃刀定律

Would suggest that someone threw it out

会认为是有人把它给扔了

It's from the institute for experimental physics

是实验物理研究院寄来的

They want us to present our paper

他们希望我们能在

On the properties of supersolids

主题为玻色-爱因斯坦凝聚的会议上

At the topical conference on bose einstein condensates

做我们超固体性质的论文演讲

I know I read it before I threw it out

我知道我扔之前看过

Okay if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question

容许我把问题阐述地更清楚些

Why did you throw it out

你为什么要扔了它呢

Because I have no interest in standing in the rose room

因为我没兴趣站在万豪国际酒店的

Of the Pasadena Marriott

玫瑰间里

In front of a group of judgmental strangers

去面对一群互相不认识但又喜欢评头论足的人

Who wouldn't recognize true genius

他们不会意识到

If it was standing in front of them giving a speech

在他们面前做演讲的人是真正的天才

Which if I were there it would be

因为如果我在那我会这么认为的

I don't know sheldon

我不知道谢尔顿

Those topical conference on bose einstein condensates

那些主题为玻色-爱因斯坦凝聚的会议

Parties are legendary

之后的庆功会都是超赞的

Forget the parties

别提那些庆功会

Forget the parties what a nerd

别提那些庆功会? 你个白痴

Are there any other honors I've gotten that I don't know about

还有什么别的荣誉我不知道的吗

Did ups drop off a nobel prize

UPS有没有快递过

With my name on it

给我的诺贝尔奖?

Leonard please don't take this the wrong way

里奥纳德你千万别误会

But the day you win a nobel prize

不过你得诺贝尔奖的那天

Is the day I begin my research

就是我开始研究

On the drag coefficient of tassels on flying carpets

阿拉伯飞毯上那些穗状雄花图案的风阻系数的那天

Ooh the only thing missing

刚才那些侮辱中

From that insult was "your mama "

唯一没有提到的就是"你妈妈"

I got one

我补充一个

Hey leonard your mama's research methodology is so flawed

里奥纳德你妈妈的研究方法问题实在太多...

Shut up howard

闭嘴霍华德

Sheldon we have to do this

谢尔顿我们得去参加这个

No we don't

不我们不

We have to take in nourishment expel waste

我们得吸取营养排除毒素

And inhale enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying

并且吸入足够的氧气来维持我们细胞鲜活

Everything else is optional

其它任何事都不是必须的

Okay let me put it this way I'm doing it

好那我这么说吧我要去参加

You can't I'm the lead author

你不能我是第一作者

Come on the only reason you're the lead author

别逗了之所以你是第一作者

Is because we went alphabetically

是因为这是按名字字母排序的

I let you think we went alphabetically

是我让你这么认为的

To spare you the humiliation

好让你不用面对这一耻辱性的事实

Of dealing with the fact that it was my idea

那就是这篇论文是我想出来的

Not to put too fine a point on it

不是我有意要说得那么直白

But I was throwing you a bone

但事实是我在可怜你

You're welcome

不用谢

Excuse me I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis

慢着这个假说的实验证明是我设计的

It doesn't need proving

它根本就不用证明

So the entire scientific community

这么说整个学术界就会那么

Is just supposed to take your word

不加任何质疑地相信你的话?

They're not supposed to but they should

不是会是他们应该那样

All right I don't care what you say

算了我不管你说什么

I'm going to the conference and I'm presenting our findings

我要去参加会议并展示我们的成果

And I forbid it

我不允许

You forbid it

你不允许?

If I'm not taking credit for our work then nobody is

如果我没有因为我们的成果而得到好评那没人可以

So you admit that it's our work no

-这么说你承认这是我们俩的成果? -没有

Once again I'm throwing you a bone

再说一遍我是在可怜你

And once again you are welcome

并且再说一遍不用谢

Oh no he didn't

不他不会吧(模仿里奥纳德)

So how's it going with sheldon

你和谢尔顿现在怎样了

Are you guys still not talking to each other

你们还是谁也不理谁吗

Not only is he still not talking to me

他不但还是不跟我说话

But there's this thing he does where he stares at you

还会这么瞪着你并做这么个动作

And tries to get your brain to explode

试图把你的脑子弄爆

You know like in the classic sci fi movie scanners

就像那种经典的高科技电影里的扫描器

Like bzzz

这样...

Never mind

不说了

How about this one

这件怎么样?

It says I know my physics but I'm still a fun guy

可以告诉别人说我是物理学家但我也是个有趣的人

Wow I didn't know they still made corduroy suits

我不知道现在还有做灯芯绒外套

They don't That's why I saved this one

是不做了所以我才一直留着它

Okay well let's just see

好吧让我再看看

What else you have

你还有什么别的

Okay here take this

拿着这个...

And this and this and these

和这个这个还有这些...

Is this all stuff you want me to try on

所有这些你都要让我试穿?

No this is stuff I want you to throw out

不这些是我想让你扔了的

Oh seriously don't even give them to charity

说真的甚至不要把它们捐作慈善

You won't be helping anyone

你这不是在帮助任何人

What's this

这是什么?

That's the bottle city of kandor

这是坎多(对抗魔人的守卫国度)的瓶中城

You see kandor was the capital city

知道吗坎多曾经是

Of the planet krypton

克里顿星球(还是星球大战)的首都

It was miniaturized by brainiac before krypton exploded

它被天才在克里顿爆炸前缩小了

And then rescued by superman

然后被超人拯救了

Oh nice

不错

It's a lot cooler when girls aren't looking at it

还是女孩子不看这些的时候比较好

Here why don't you put these on

你穿上这个试试

While I find a shirt and a sport coat that match

我再看看有没有合适的T恤和运动外衣

Great I'll be right back

好我马上回来

Where are you going just put 'em on

你去哪里? 就这样换了

Here

在这?

Oh are you shy

你还害羞啊?

No I'm not shy

没我没害羞

Don't worry I won't look

别担心我不会看的

I know you won't look why would you look

我知道你不会看你为什么要看

There's nothing to see well not nothing

这也没什么好看的...倒也不是...

Sweetie put the pants on

亲爱的把裤子穿上

Putting 'em on

穿了穿了

So you know isn't there maybe some way

你跟谢尔顿在演讲这件事情上

You and sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing

就没有互相妥协的余地吗

No no

不没有

Scientists do not compromise

科学家从不妥协

Our minds are trained to synthesize facts

我们的大脑被锻炼成就是把事实结合起来

And come to inarguable conclusions

然后得出无可辩驳的结论

Not to mention sheldon is bat crap crazy

更不用说谢尔顿还是个怪胎

What is this

这是什么?

Oh careful

小心

That's my original series

那个是原版

Battlestar galactica flight suit

太空堡垒卡拉狄加的飞行服

Oh why didn't you wear it on halloween

万圣节的时候你怎么没穿这个?

Because it's not a costume it's a flight suit

因为那不是制服是件飞行服

Okay all right moving on

好的我继续找

Oh wow a paisley shirt

羊毛针织花衬衫

Uh huh it goes with my corduroy suit

它正好配我那件灯芯绒外套

If you mean they should end up in the same place then I agree

如果你是说他们得呆在一个地方那我同意

Is this your only tie

这是你唯一的领带吗

Technically yes

理论上是的

But if you'll notice

但如果你仔细看

It's reversible

会发现这是两面的

So it works as two

所以可以当两条用

Oh sweetie I don't even think it works as one

亲爱的我觉得它连一条都不算

Is this all your clothes

这就是你所有的衣服吗

Yup everything since the eighth grade

对从我八年级到现在所有的

The the eighth grade

八...八年级?

My last growth spurt

我从那时起就不再长了

Okay well I guess we're back to the corduroy suit

那好我想我们还是回到这套灯芯绒外套吧

Great yep

好的

I said no put it down

我说了不行扔一边去

Hey sheldon

好啊谢尔顿

Hello penny

你好潘妮

Get anything good

有什么好东西吗

Just the latest copy of applied particle physics quarterly

最近一季度的应用粒子物理学报

Oh you know that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't

真奇怪怎么你的来了我的却没到

It was a joke

我开玩笑呢

Yep tip your waitresses

给女服务生点小费

I'm here all week

我这一周都在

Penny just to save you from further awkwardness

潘妮为了避免你感觉更加尴尬

Know that I'm perfectly comfortable with the two of us

如果我们两个安安静静地走上楼

Climbing the stairs in silence

我完全没有意见

Oh yeah okay me too

是的我也是

Zip it lock it

嘴巴拉上闭紧

Put it in your pocket

放在兜里

So you and leonard

你和里奥纳德

Oh dear god

天呐

A little misunderstanding huh

有点小误会是吧

A little misundersta

有点小误...?

Galileo and the pope had a little misunderstanding

伽利略和教皇之间是有点小误会

Anyway I was talking to leonard this morning

不管怎样我今天早上跟里奥纳德聊天

And I think he feels really bad about it

我认为他对于这事感到很难过

Well how do you feel

你是什么感受

I don't understand the question

你没理解你这个问题

No I'm just asking if it's difficult

不我是问和最好的朋友发生争执

To be fighting with your best friend

是不是感觉很难受

Oh I hadn't thought about it like that

我还没那么想过

I wonder if I've been experiencing

我在想我是否正在经受

Physiological manifestations

由于无意识感情上混乱

of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil

而导致的一些生理表现

Wait what

等等什么?

I couldn't poop this morning

我今天早上拉不出屎

Just talk to him

跟他说说话吧

I'm sure you guys can work this out

我想你们一定能把问题解决的

It's certainly preferable to my plan

这肯定比我的计划更好

Which was

你什么计划?

A powerful laxative

用强力泻药

Okay so you absolutely should talk to him

好吧你真的应该跟他好好谈谈

Look I know leonard values you as a friend

我知道里奥纳德把你当朋友的

And he told me himself that without your little idea

他亲口告诉我如果没有你那些小点子

There's no way he could have

他就不可能

Come up with this whole experiment thing

完成这整个实验

Excuse me "little idea"

不好意思 "小点子"?

Yeah I mean he tried to explain it to me

我是说他试着跟我解释过

I didn't really understand it

我没有弄得很明白...

Of course you didn't

你当然没明白

He said "little idea"

他说"小点子"?

Well no not in not in those words

不他不是那么说的

In what words then exactly

那是怎么说的确切点

Um you know gee the exact words

天确切的词是...

It's more the spirit in which

他主要的意思是说...

What did he say

他说什么?

You had a lucky hunch

你只是碰运气预感到的

Hey sheldon I've been thinking

谢尔顿我刚才一直在想

Instead of arguing about this

我们一直争执这个问题还不如...

Don't you ever speak to me again

不要再跟我说话

Wha

什...?

他...

Okay I'm leaving for the conference

我去参加会议了

Have fun presenting my "lucky hunch "

祝你演讲我那"幸运的预感"愉快

Shel I didn't mean it like that

谢尔顿我不是那个意思

Then why did you say it

那你为什么要那么说

I don't know I wasn't

我不知道我不是...

Were you trying to impress penny

你是想取悦潘妮?

No no not at all a little bit

不不完全不是有那么一点

How'd that work out for you

那么做有效果吗

Leonard ready to go

里奥纳德准备走了吗

libido 1 0

力比多(弗洛伊德理论) 1-0

Okay I'm gonna ask you one more time

好我再问你一次

We did the work together

这个成果是咱们一起完成的

Let's present the paper together

就让咱们一起去做演讲

And I'm telling you for the last time

我也跟你说最后一遍

It's pandering it's undignified and bite me

你这是在拉皮条这是没有尊严的咬我吧

Let's go

我们走吧

Bye sheldon

再见谢尔顿

Good bye penny

再见潘妮

One of these days

就在未来的某一天...

There you go

还不错

You're right this side does look better

你说的没错这面果然更好看

No no I didn't say "better "

不不我没说"更好看"

I said "less stained "

我只是说"褪色少一些"

i just checked the house there's probably

我刚观察了下里面大约

20 25 people in there

有20-25个人

You're kidding

开玩笑吧?

Is that all "all"

-一共就这些? -就这些?

In particle physics 25 is woodstock

对高能物理学领域来说 25人已称得上伍德斯托克(摇滚音乐节)了

Oh well then good

这样啊那不错

I wasn't expecting such a crowd I'm a little nervous

我没想到会有这么多人我有点紧张

It's okay just open with a joke you'll be fine

没事讲个笑话做开场白就不紧张了

Uh joke okay

笑话好的

How about this

这个怎么样?

Um okay uh there's this farmer

有个农民

And he has these chickens

他养了一些鸡

But they won't lay any eggs so he calls a physicist to help

但是它们不下蛋所以他去找物理学家求救

The physicist then does some calculations

这个物理学家便做了些计算

And he says "i have a solution

然后说"我有个办法

But it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum "

不过只适用于真空环境下的球形鸡(加拿大科学家凯伊的方法)"

Right

好笑吧?

Oh sorry I just I've heard it before

抱歉我...我以前听过

Let's roll okay

-我们进去吧 -好的

Hey nice suit

西服不错

It's a classic right

一流的是吧?

I really should have brought my own car

我真应该把我的车开来

So in conclusion the data show

因此我们总结如下数据表明

That at temperatures approaching absolute zero

当温度接近绝对零度时

The moment of inertia changes

转动惯量就会发生改变

And the solid becomes a supersolid which clearly appears

而固体就会变成一种超固体

To be a previously unknown state of matter

成为一种之前未知的物质

Thank you

谢谢

Were there any questions

请问有任何问题吗

Yeah what the hell was that

有那到底是什么玩意?

Any other questions

还有其他问题吗

Dr sheldon cooper here

我是谢尔顿·库珀博士

I am the lead author of this particular paper

是这篇论文的第一作者

Thank you

谢谢

And you sir you have completely skipped over the part

而你这位先生完全跳过了一个重要部分

Where I was walking through the park

当时我是在公园里散步

And I saw these children on a merry go round

看见小孩们在玩旋转木马

Which started me thinking about the moment of inertia

正是这才让我想起转动惯性

In gases like helium

当温度接近绝对零度

At temperatures approaching absolute zero

在气体里比如氦气里的表现

I didn't skip it it's just an anecdote

我没有跳过这只是个小插曲

It's not science

不是科学

Oh I see

原来是这样

Was the apple falling on newton's head

那么苹果落在牛顿的头上

Was that just an anecdote

也仅仅是个小插曲?

You are not isaac newton

你不是艾萨克·牛顿

No no that's true

是是这倒是不错

Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple

对我来说不用那苹果我也会知道是地球引力

You could not possibly be that arrogant

你能不能不那么自大

You continue to underestimate me my good man

你仍旧低估了我我的伙计

Look if you weren't happy with my presentation

听着如果你因为我的演讲而不高兴

Then maybe you should have given it with me

那你应该跟我一起来讲的

As I've explained repeatedly unlike you

就像我反复解释的我不像你

I don't need validation from lesser minds

我不需要比我笨的人来认可我

No offense

没有别的意思

So why did you come

那你还为什么来?

Because I knew you'd screw this up

因为我知道你会把它糟蹋了的

I didn't screw it up

我才没有糟蹋

Oh please

开玩笑

I admit that spherical chicken joke that was hilarious Thanks

-我承认那个球形鸡的笑话...是挺好笑谢谢

But it was straight downhill from there

不过从那里开始就急转直下了

I've had enough of your condescension

我受够了你这种高傲的态度

Maybe I didn't go to college when I was 11 like you

也许我没有像你一样11岁就考上大学

Maybe I got my doctorate at 24 instead of 16

也许我是24岁才拿到博士而不像你是16岁

But you are not the only person

但你不是这个屋子里

Who is smarter than everyone else in this room

唯一一个比他们都聪明的人

No offense

没别的意思

And I am clearly not the only person

我显然并不是这里唯一一个

Who is tormented by insecurity

怀着不安全感渴望得到

And has an ego in need of constant validation

不断的肯定并为之饱受苦恼的人

So you admit that you're an egotist

那你承认你是个自大狂了?

Yes

对

My name is dr leonard hofstadter

我是里奥纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士

And I could never please my parents

我从不讨我父母喜欢

So I need to get all my self esteem

所以我需要从你们这些陌生人这里

From strangers like you

把自尊心都找回来

But he's worse

但他更差劲

Okay that is it stop it

-好的够了 -别闹了

You cannot blow up my head with your mind

你不可能用意念爆了我的头

Then I'll settle for an aneurysm

那给你弄个动脉瘤也成

Stop it

别弄了

You hit me

你打我

You saw that he hit me

你们都看到了他打我

You were trying to blow up my head

是你想爆了我的头

So it was working

所以还是起作用了

It was not you are a nut case

才不是呢你简直是个疯子

We'll see about that

我们来看看

Heads up you people in the front row

把头抬起来坐第一排的人

This is a splash zone

这里是辐射区

Stop it

别闹了

Quit it

停下来

Is this usually how these physics things go

你们搞物理的经常这样?

More often than you think

比你想的要频繁

Stop it nerve pinch

停下我要发功把你弄爆

You could have offered me a ride home

你可以让我搭车一起回来的

You're lucky I didn't run you over

我没开车把你碾过去你已经很幸运了

I really don't understand what you're so unhappy about

我真不知道你在不开心些什么

You begged me to come I came

你求我去我去了

There's just no pleasing you

结果你还是不高兴

You're right I'm the problem

没错问题都在我这

I'm the one that needs help

我是那个需要帮助的人

Well that's not much of an apology

这不是很像道歉

But I'll take it

但我接受了

Excuse me

等等

Is there anything you would like to apologize for

你有没有什么想向我道歉?

Yes

有

I'm sorry I tried to blow up your head

我有想要爆了你的头对不起

It was uncalled for

那样做没有必要

You won't believe this

你们不会相信的

Somebody got the whole thing on a cell phone

有人把整件事情经过用手机拍下来了

And put it on youtube

并上传到了Youtube

What

什么?

Now who would do that

谁会这么缺德?

That would be me

是我

Hey check it out it's a featured video

快来看看很有意思的视频

You hit me

你打我

You saw that he hit me

你们都看到了他打我

You're trying to blow up my head

是你想爆了我的头

So it was working

所以还是起作用了

Stop it you're a nut case

别弄了你简直是个疯子

We'll see about that

我们来看看

You people in the front row heads up this is a splash zone

你们前排的人把头抬起来这里是辐射区

Stop it

别闹了

Quit it quit it

停下来停下来

Put you in a vulcan nerve pinch

我要发功把你弄爆

Ow you should cut your fingernails those hurt

你应该剪剪指甲真疼死了

Oh geez does this suit really look that bad

天这套西服真的这么难看?

Forget your suit

别提你那西服了

Look at my arms waving

看我胳臂挥的

I'm like a flamingo on ritalin

像是利他林(一种兴奋剂)上的那只红鹤

Howard

霍华德

Would you like to explain to me

你能不能向我解释下

Why your facebook page has a picture of me sleeping

为什么你的facebook(国外交友网站)主页上有张我靠在你

On your shoulder captioned "me and my girlfriend"

肩膀睡觉的照片并且标题是我和我的女友?

here comes the talk

又得好好解释下了

somewhere in China

(中国某地)

What losers

什么混蛋东西嘛

Yeah Gigantic American geeks

对呀很大的书呆子

Who's doing that

谁在搞鬼?

Someone from Pasadena California named

一个来自加利福尼亚州的帕萨迪纳

"Wolowizard"

叫"沃尔巫师"的人

Awesome

酷毙了