生活大爆炸-S09E10_生活大爆炸

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Sheldon Cooper's descent into madness

谢尔顿·库珀的发疯之路

day two

第二天

It's 2 25 A M

现在是深夜2点25

and I feel the urge to urinate

我有一股强烈的尿意

My normal urination time is 7 10 A M

我正常的晨尿时间是早上7点10分

but here I am in the middle of the night

但在这夜半时刻

struggling to keep my mind sharp

我却挣扎着要保持头脑清晰

and my pajamas dry

与睡衣裤干燥

It's only a matter of time

迟早有一天

before my tenuous grasp on reality fades

我对现实薄弱的掌握力就会消失

I suppose I should pee while I still know what a toilet is

还是趁没忘记什么是厕所前赶紧去尿吧

两天前

Since when do you hum songs

你什么时候开始哼歌了

What are you talking about

你说啥呢

You were just humming

你刚才在哼歌

Are you sure

你确定吗

Sometimes when my brain really gets moving

有时候当我脑筋运转飞快

it makes noise

也会发出声音

How does your brain feel about

那你的大脑对于

calculating the surface tension of the domain walls

计算畴壁的表面张力怎么看

Let's see

我看看

Hey I was humming

我还真是在哼歌

One point for Hufflepuff

赫奇帕奇加一分

该学院学生多为勤能补拙型的学生

小说《哈利波特》中的学院名

What song is that

这是什么歌啊

Well Hum it again

你再哼一次

Is that the SpongeBob song

是《海绵宝宝》的主题曲吗

Who lives in a pineapple

是谁住在深海的大凤梨里

Nope

不是

Whatever Can we just get back to this

随便啦能回到正题吗

I feel like I know what song that is

我总感觉我知道这首歌

but I can't put my finger on it

但就是想不起是哪一首

My country 'tis of thee

爱吾土兮自由乡

美国爱国歌曲《我的国家属于你》

不是

It's just an earworm It'll come to you

只是歌曲卡脑里[耳虫]了会想起来的

Okay

好吧

R e s p e c t

酋寸千日土

1965年发行的歌曲《尊重》

不是

Is this what we're doing the rest of the night

我们今晚余下时间都要这样吗

I'm surprised you have to ask

我很惊讶你居然还问...

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第十集

Hello yes I was hoping you could help me

您好是的我希望你们能帮一下我

What song is this

这首歌是什么歌呢

You don't know

你不知道吗

Well how dare you call yourselves a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

你们怎么好意思称自己为"摇滚名人堂"呢

西方摇滚界有举足轻重的地位

My goodness Do you sing along to the greatest hits

我的老天你就是用这张脏嘴来

of Elvis Presley with that mouth

跟唱猫王的传世杰作吗

Well they were no help at all

他们一点屁用都没有

Which is crazy

真"不敢置信"啊

since rock and roll is all about good customer service

毕竟摇滚最讲究良好的客户服务了

Yeah So you have a song stuck in your head

你脑子里卡了一首歌

It happens to everybody

这在大家身上都发生过啊

Well I'm not everybody I have an eidetic memory

我不是大家我有过目不忘的记忆力

I should be able to remember what song this is

我应该要能记住这是哪首歌的

but I can't

可我就是想不起来

Something's wrong with me

我脑子肯定哪里有问题

I told you if we were patient he'd figure it out for himself

我就说如果我们够耐心他会自己发现这事

Oh I was always afraid this day would come

我从以前就很害怕这天的到来

This might be the first step of my descent into madness

这可能是我变成疯子的第一步

where I gradually test the limits of public nudity

然后我逐步探底直至在公众场合裸露

Public nudity

公众场合裸露吗

Eh that just means going barefoot

那只是意味着没穿袜子罢了

Hello

您好

Hi Dave

戴夫你好

Uh it's Amy

我是艾米

Oh How are you

你好吗

I'm fine How are you

我很好你呢

Terrific And pleasantly surprised to hear from you

也很好啊你打来真让我又惊又喜

given how I acted on our last date

毕竟上次约会时我的表现不太出色

Yeah well we both made mistakes you know

我们俩都有不好的地方嘛

I took the last breadstick you gushed over my ex boyfriend

我吃了最后一根面包棒你不停提我前任

like he was Leonard Nimoy and you were my ex boyfriend

就像我前任讨论他爱的《星际旅行》演员一样

So to what do I owe the pleasure

所以今天什么风把你吹来

Well I was wondering

我有点好奇

if you'd like to get dinner again sometime

你有没有兴趣找个时间再共进晚餐

Yes please

好的没问题

Great

太好了

Let me just check my schedule he said

让我看一下行程表他说道

trying to seem like a man with things on his schedule

好像他行程表上真有安排一样

How 'bout Saturday

这周六如何

Uh hmm Let me see

我看看

Uh Friday farmers' market with Jay Z

周五跟大牌嘻哈歌手去农贸市场

Sunday piano shopping with Elton John

周日跟歌手艾尔顿·约翰去买钢琴

Saturday works

周六行啊

Oh Did you know at the United Nations

你知道联合国里

there's a Department for Outer Space Affairs

有一个外层空间事务部门吗

Really Why

真的吗为啥要这部门

They exist in case we ever make contact with an alien civilization

以防哪天真有机会跟外星文明接触

Mm boy that's one of those jobs that's boring boring

这种工作大概就是无聊无聊

boring then "Oh God

无聊到死突然"哇靠

Where's the memo with what we do now "

我们该怎么做的备忘录放哪去了"

Oh this is cool

这挺酷

So a few weeks ago

几周前呢

I set up a fan page on Facebook for our band and

我在脸书上给我们乐团开了个粉丝页...

Wait a second

等等

How could you do that without consulting me

你怎么可以不问过我就做这种事

It's not a big deal

这又不是什么大事

It just took like five minutes to set up

就花五分钟就能弄好的东西

That's not the point

这不是重点

When we created Footprints on the Moon

我们创立"月球足迹"乐团时

we agreed that every band decision would be mutual

说好乐团所有决定都得经过两人同意

Now you're just trying to take over the whole thing

你现在就是想独揽一切

You know maybe I should go solo

或许我该单飞

But someone joined our page

但有人加了我们的粉丝页

We have an actual fan

我们有一个粉丝了

All right This thing's bigger than you and me

好吧这事比咱俩重要

band's back together

乐团重组

So listen to what he wrote

你听他写了什么

Uh "I saw you play at the comic book store

"我看到你们在漫画店的演出

You guys rock "

你们屌爆了"

And then there's a animated smiley face

然后还有一张笑脸的动图

raising the roof like this

像嗨到要掀了房顶一样

We did raise the roof that night

那晚我们的确是嗨爆了全场

Yeah we totally did

绝对啊

Why do rock stars do drugs when this feels so great

摇滚明星为啥要嗑药啊这感觉明明爽炸了

Why can't I recall this song

为何我想不起这首歌

This is taking far too long

这耗太久了

The urge to bang my head against the wall

这让我想用头撞墙的冲动

Again and again and again and again and again is strong

撞撞撞撞了又撞撞完还撞的感觉强烈

Put on some headphones

插上耳机好吗

No They make my earlobes sweat

不要戴了我耳垂会流汗

Uh sweetie why don't you take a break

亲爱的你为何不先别想这事

and do something else for a while

先去做点别的事情呢

There was a project I've been thinking about starting

的确有一个我想着要开始的计划

Okay great What is it

很好啊什么计划

I'll show you

我让给你看

Dear Crazy Future Sheldon

致亲爱的未来已疯谢尔顿

you were driven mad by an earworm

你被卡脑歌给搞疯了

Your mind once your most trusted asset

你的头脑你曾经最信任的本钱

is now a sack of parrots and monkeys

现在就是浆糊加豆腐渣

所以

I'm going to tell you everything you need to know

我要告诉你一切你需要知道的事

Uh first music is dangerous

首先音乐非常危险

The movie Footloose tried to warn us

电影《浑身是劲》试图要警告我们

but we wouldn't listen

但我们并未听从

Oh wait

等等

Everybody cut footloo

大家解放双... [电影歌曲]

Nope

不对

I'll pay $1 000 to watch you cut footloose

我愿意出一千块看你像电影里跳舞

This is Penny

这位是佩妮

She is your friend

她是你的朋友

If she offers you food it's safe to take it

如果她要给你食物可以放心吃

You probably paid for it anyway

反正估计那也是用你自己的钱买的

So you're really going out with Dave again

你真的要再跟戴夫出去约会吗

Why not

有何不可

He's actually a very nice guy

他其实是个很好的人啊

But he spent an entire date

但上次整个约会中

talking about how much he loves Sheldon

他不停地说自己有多爱谢尔顿

That's nothing Sheldon hasn't done before

谢尔顿也常说他有多爱自己啊

Dave's just a big fan of his work

戴夫只是很仰慕他的研究

Besides he said he wouldn't bring it up again

而且他说他不会再提了

Okay So where's he taking you

好吧这次他要带你去哪吃饭

Oh he's coming here I'm actually making dinner

他会来家里这次是我要下厨

Oh That's a big step

这是很大的一步啊

It is

是吗

Yeah You're inviting him into your home

对啊你邀请他到自己家里来

It's intimate

这是很亲密的事

It's where your underpants live

这里可是你小内内的家啊

You know what Good

其实呢这样最好

I tried to get back together with Sheldon he shot me down

我试图要跟谢尔顿重修旧好他拒绝了我

Dave likes me

而戴夫喜欢我

Maybe intimate is what I need

或许我需要的就是亲密

You sure

你确定吗

You've never really been with a man

你基本都没跟男人亲密过

Do you really want to start with one that's six foot seven

你确定要从一个两米的大高个开始吗

Why not

有何不妥

'Cause it's like taking your driver's test in a bus

这就像开巴士考驾照小孩玩大枪啊

Maybe we should post a comment back to our fan and thank him

或许我们该回复我们粉丝的评论谢谢人家

What should we write

那我们要回什么

How 'bout uh Oh how 'bout

这么回怎么样

"We might be Footprints on the Moon

"或许我们是月球足迹

but your kind words sent us over the moon "

但你的评论让我们爽得离开月球表面"

Someday you're gonna make an amazing grandma

以后你一定是专煮心灵鸡汤的好奶奶

What do you want to write

那你想回什么

Something bad ass you know like

要回酷一点就像

"Thanks for diggin' our vibe

"感谢知音人

We'll keep rockin'

我们继续摇

if you keep rollin' "

只要你不滚"

Dude if I was wearing a bra

兄弟如果我有穿着胸罩

I'd throw it at your head right now

现在一定脱下来甩给你了

I'll keep rockin' You don't do that

我会继续摇求你千万别

Okay I posted it

好了我回复了

So who is this guy

这家伙是谁啊

Let's see Uh his name is Trent Monaco

我看看他叫特伦特·莫纳可

Cool name Yeah

-名字挺酷 -是的

He's 24 He's a deejay

今年24岁他是一名DJ

He brews his own beer He's got awesome tattoos

他自己酿制啤酒有很酷的纹身

Dude he's got a hot girlfriend too

兄弟他还有一个火辣的女友

Damn

靠

I don't know if he's our biggest fan or I'm his

真不知道我跟他谁才是谁的脑残粉

Hey Trent just liked our comment

特伦特点赞了我们的回复

He is so cool

他好酷哦

No hard feelings

希望你别介意

but I'm throwing my hypothetical bra at him

但我要把我的假想胸罩甩给他了

Oh my God he won't stop

老天他就是不罢休

How does he keep coming up with new ways to be annoying

他怎么老能有惹人烦的新招啊

Nobody knows That's why he's number one

没人知道所以他是头号烦人精

Can you please go talk to him

你能去说说他吗

Come on I take care of him all day long You do it for once

拜托我照顾他一整天了你去一次

Once Who got the gum out of his hair

什么一次谁帮他把头发的口香糖弄下来的

What do you want a medal It was your gum

这事还得给你颁奖吗那可是你的口香糖

Fine

好吧

I love you

爱你哦

Who cares

去死吧

What are you doing in my room I

你来我房间干嘛

Stop it That's mine

住手那是我的

Why are you so strong

为什么你力大如牛

Problem solved

问题解决

Oh yeah he got a tuba

对哦他还有个大号

Dear Crazy Future Sheldon

致亲爱的未来已疯谢尔顿

this is a thermostat

这是恒温器

It controls the temperature of the apartment

它能控制公寓的温度

The ideal setting is 72 degrees

理想的温度设置是22摄氏度

If you find this too cold then put on a jacket

如果你觉得这温度冷那就穿上衣服

A straitjacket

疯子束身衣好了

'cause 72's the best and you're crazy

因为22度最舒服而且你疯了

Now this

现在介绍这里

is your spot

是你的专座

You're very protective of it

你会死命护住它

When anyone else tries to sit here

一旦有人想坐这里

you berate them relentlessly

你会无情地斥责他们

It sounds mean but somehow you make it adorable

听起来很坏但你总能让这事变可爱

People are also delighted by your love of pranks

人们也对你爱好的恶作剧感到愉悦

For example Leonard has no idea

比如莱纳德完全不知道

what I did to his coffee

我对他的咖啡做了什么

It wasn't "Replace it with Folger's crystals "

那不是"不含任何咖啡因的咖啡"

I'll tell you that much

我只能透露这么多

Hey can we please get back to work

我们能继续工作了吗

This is Leonard

这位是莱纳德

He's your best friend in the world

他是你全世界最好的朋友

All right just stop This is ridiculous

好啦别录了太可笑了

Sometimes he gets cranky

有时他会变得暴躁

but you can trust him with your life

但他是值得信赖终身的人

And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list

而且他为你做的事多到我数不完

Thank you

谢谢

Oh no he's drinking it

他喝了

Look at this

看看这个

Trent is rebuilding a vintage motorcycle

特伦特在组装古董摩托车

That is so cool

那真是太酷了

Old broken things are so much better

老旧坏掉的东西远比

than new things that work

全新能用的赞太多了

Who's Trent

谁是特伦特

Oh he's our fan

他是我们的粉丝

Fan of what

粉你们什么

Did you forget We're in a band

你忘了吗我俩组了个乐团啊

You mean because you played one time in the comic book store

就因为你们在漫画店演出过一次吗

And at the children's hospital until they asked us to leave

还有儿童医院虽然最后被人赶走了

Hey dude

兄弟

Trent just checked in at the coffee shop on Fair Oaks

特伦特刚在一家费尔奥克斯的咖啡店签到

Really You want to go down there and meet him

真的吗你想去见见他吗

Are you stalking him That's creepy

你们要跟踪人家吗太变态了吧

It's not creepy

那不是变态

I built a Footprints on the Moon fan page Trent joined it

我创建了我们乐团的主页特伦特加了进来

After that all I did was check out his profile

在那之后我只需点开他的个人档案

go back in the archive of his feed

查找他以前发表的东西

until I found his Twitter handle

直到找到他的推特用户名

From there it was easy to find him on Instagram Snapchat

然后就很容易在照片分享应用上找到他

and pretty much track his every movement

接着就能掌握他的一举一动了

So if you think that's creepy you married the wrong guy

如果你觉得这样很变态那你可真是嫁错人了

Maybe I should marry Trent

或许我该嫁给特伦特

Yeah like she could get Trent

是啊那也得她泡得到他啊

This is delicious

真是太好吃了

Thank you

谢谢

Been a long time since I had a home cooked meal

我很久没吃过家常饭了

When you were married did your wife cook

你结婚之后你的妻子不做饭吗

Not at first no

一开始不做

But when she began cheating on me with a French chef

但在她背着我跟一个法国大厨偷情之后

she became quite the wiz in the kitchen

她快变成了特级厨师

So a little silver lining

也算一丝慰籍吧

I suppose Yeah

算是吧

Nothing takes the sting out of a shattered life

没有什么比一碗精心调味的法式洋葱汤

like a properly seasoned bowl of onion soup

更能让破碎的生活变得好接受了

How long have you uh lived here

你住在这里多久了

About five years

大概五年了

I'm actually thinking of moving to a better place

我其实正打算搬去一间更好的公寓

now that I don't need to be so close to

因为我现在不用住得那么近好去载...

Well you know

你懂的

I do The brilliant physicist

我懂那位出色的物理学家

that I now know lives in the area not that I care

我现在知道他也住附近了不过我"毫不关心"

Yeah Anyway he doesn't drive

总之他不开车

so I pretty much had to take him everywhere

所以他去哪儿基本都得要我载

Had to or got to

你是逼于无奈还是三生有幸

Sorry My fault

-抱歉 -我的错

I brought him up Yeah

-是我先提他 -是啊

Well let's change the subject

我们换个话题吧

No more mentions of you know who

不要再提那个谁了

That's a cool train

那火车好酷啊

Where did you get that

你从哪里买的

This song is never going to stop

这歌真是根本停不下来啊

Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating

你们遇到过这种烦人无极限的事物吗

That's a trick question right

这是陷阱题对吧

Well I shouldn't be surprised

我不应该感到惊讶

There's a rich history of brilliant minds descending into madness

历史上有不少的睿智之士最后沦为了疯子

Come on Sheldon

拜托谢尔顿

There are plenty of smart people who don't have mental problems

还有好多不是疯子的聪明人呢

Yup she's right

她说得对

For every Newton who had a psychological issue

这世上每有一个精神病牛顿

there's an Edison who was just a jerk

就会有一个混蛋爱迪生

That could totally be you

这混蛋完全有可能是你嘛

Empedocles thought he was a God and jumped into a volcano

恩培多克勒以为他是天神跳进了火山

And Pythagoras had an irrational fear of beans

毕达哥拉斯对豆子有莫名的恐惧

与前者都是古希腊哲学家

Tesla fell madly in love with a pigeon

特斯拉疯狂地爱上了一只鸽子

who he claimed loved him back

还声称那只鸽子也爱他

Maybe he just had bread in his pocket

也许是他口袋里有面包

The list extends outside of science

这个名单可以延伸到科学界之外

Painters like Van Gogh and Pollock

比如像梵高和波洛克那样的画家

chess champion Bobby Fischer

国际象棋大师鲍比·菲舍尔

Brian Wilson of the Beach Boy

海滩男孩的布莱恩·威尔森

Know if words could say

言语已无法表达

But darlin' I'll find a way

但是亲爱的我会找到方法

I remember the song

我想起这首歌的名字了

It's called "Darlin'" by the Beach Boys

是"海滩男孩"的《亲爱的》

Oh thank Goodness

谢天谢地

I'm not crazy

我不是个疯子

I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride

我不用和鸽子结婚了

There goes our shot at him living on the roof

他住屋顶鸽舍的事看来是没指望了

So all right there he is

好了就是他

So should we introduce ourselves

我们主动上前自我介绍吗

No Let him spot us

别让他自己发现我们

I wonder if he's listening to our music right now

他会不会正听着我们的歌呢

Could you imagine

你能想象吗

What a cool way for us to meet

多么酷的见面方式啊

He's playing our song and looks up and there we are

他听着我们的歌一抬头我们正在他眼前

his favorite two piece acoustic sci fi novelty rock band

他最爱的原声科幻摇滚二人乐团

And he's all like

他一定会说

"Aren't you the guys from Footprints on the Moo "

"你们不是月球足迹乐团的..."

Ooh what is he doing

他在干什么啊

I can't watch

我看不下去了

I I It's okay

没没关系

Oh it's okay He's done

没关系他已经抠完了

Why is he looking at it

他干嘛要盯着那玩意看

Eh no he's not going to eat it is he

他该不会想吃了那玩意吧

Come on Trent you're better than

拜托特伦特你没这么...

Let's just go

我们快走吧

Hey aren't you the guys

你们不是...

Nope Never heard of 'em

-不是 -从没听说过他们

Know if words could say

言语已无法表达

But darlin' I'll find a way

但是亲爱的我会找到方法

I wonder why it was this particular song

我好奇为什么偏偏是这首歌

that was stuck in my head

卡在我脑海里

I don't know It's pretty catchy

我也不知道这歌朗朗上口呀

Do you even like the Beach Boys

你有喜欢"海滩男孩"吗

They have "Beach" right in the name

他们组合名里有"海滩"两字

What do you think

你觉得呢

Well now that you can focus again what do you say

现在你的注意力又能集中了

we get back to surface tension of domain walls

咱们可以回到畴壁表面张力的研究了吧

Of course I'm already seeing a more efficient way

当然我已经想到了一个

of taming the ultravi

更高效来...

I know why the song was in my head

我知道为什么我老是忘不掉这歌了

Why

为什么

It's about Amy

和艾米有关

Okay look I know Amy's like an old lady

我知道艾米举止打扮像个老太太

but she's not old enough to have a song

但她也不至于老到被唱进

from the '60s written about her

一首60年代的歌里吧

It's about how she made my life better

她让我的人生变得更美好

Consider the lyrics

想想这歌词吧

"I was living like half a man

"从前的我灵魂从未完整

Then I couldn't love but now I can

从前的我不会爱现在的我已会爱

More soul than I ever had

灵魂从此变得完整

I love the way you soften my life "

我爱你将我的心变得柔软"

Well she did soften your life didn't she

她的确让你变得柔软了不是吗

Yes

没错

She's like the dryer sheets of my heart

她就是我的心灵柔顺剂

I have to go

我得走了

Am I like the dryer sheets of your heart

我也是你的心灵柔顺剂吗

Better You're the lint trap of my love

不止你可是我"爱的绒毛清除器"

That's an interesting tie clip

这个领带夹还挺有趣的

Oh thanks

谢谢

It's uh Avogadro's constant

这是阿伏伽德罗常量

It's useful for calculating the number of atoms in a substance

可以用来计算物质中的原子数

or causing regret in anyone who asks about it

或是让每个提问者后悔自己提了这问题

Oh I

我...

I think it's neat

我觉得挺不错的

Sorry Sorry

对不起对不起

No one's ever liked the tie clip before

从来没人喜欢过这个领带夹

so I just lost all control

所以我就失控了

No it it's okay and we are on a date

不没关系我们本来就在约会

I'm I'm just a little nervous

我只是有点紧张

Well no need to be nervous with me

你无需对我紧张

I'm just a harmless giant from a foreign land

我只是一个来自异国人畜无害的巨人

You know I'm just being silly I

我只是犯傻而已我...

I don't know what I'm waiting for

我不知道我还在等什么

Amy

艾米

Amy

艾米

Amy

艾米

That's Sheldon

那是谢尔顿

You're kidding How's my hair

你开玩笑的吧我头发乱不乱

Sheldon this this isn't a good time

谢尔顿你来的真不凑巧

I don't care

我才不管呢

Amy there was a song I couldn't get out of my head

艾米有一首歌总是在我脑海盘旋

Eventually I realized the song was about you

最后我终于发现这歌和你有关

and like that earworm I can't get you out of my heart

你是我挥之不去的耳虫久久盘旋在心口

So what I'm trying to say is

所以我想告诉你

you're my heartworm

你是我的心虫

The metaphorical kind not not the poodle killing kind

这是比喻不是指真的犬心丝虫

W W W What

你说什么

If I may

打扰一下...

I believe what he's saying

我觉得他是在用

in a charming and delightful way

一种更诗意更抒情的方式表达

is that he loves you and wants you back

他很爱你希望你能回到他身边

Dave Gibbs huge fan of your work

戴夫·吉布斯您的铁杆粉丝

Don't mind me

不用管我

I'm I'm sorry I didn't realize you were on a date

我很抱歉我不知道你正在约会呢

No it it it's okay Keep going

不没关系你继续说

Amy if you want to be my girlfriend again

艾米如果你愿意重新做我的女朋友

I really want to be your boyfriend

我也非常愿意做你的男朋友

I really want that too

我非常愿意

Good Because I love you

太好了因为我爱你

I love you too

我也爱你

Kiss her you brilliant fool

快亲她呀你这个聪明的大傻瓜

I'll let you get back to your date

我就不打扰你约会了

Get back here

给我回来

Oh oh oh darlin'

亲爱的

I dream about you often my pretty darlin'

我总是反复梦到你亲爱的美人儿

I love the way you soften my

我爱你将我的心变得柔软...

Okay then

好了

I'll uh see myself out

那我就自己走了

Amy thank you for dinner

艾米谢谢你的晚餐

Dr Cooper pleasure to meet you sir

库珀博士非常高兴见到您

Uh if perhaps sometime you have a spare moment

如果下次您有空

I'd uh love love to discuss physics

我非常愿意和您讨论一下物理问题

or "shoot the breeze " as you Yanks say

或是按你们的说法一起"侃大山"

What a lovely evening

真是美好的一晚啊