生活大爆炸-S10E09_生活大爆炸

S01

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That is unbelievable

真是太棒了

Good for Bert

恭喜伯特

Damn the MacArthur Genius Grant

靠麦克阿瑟奖啊

50万奖金颁发给在各领域内具有非凡创造性的杰出人士

俗称天才奖为纪念约翰·D·麦克阿瑟而命名

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy

没人比他更值得获得这个奖了

Everything is stupid and I want to go home

一切都蠢爆了人家要回家了

That's Sheldon's way of saying

这是谢尔顿版本的

he's proud of Bert too

他也为伯特感到骄傲

Hey it's not even called the "Genius Grant "

而且这奖都不叫做"天才奖"

it's the MacArthur Fellowship

正确名称叫"麦克阿瑟奖学金"

Just like it's not Frankenstein

就像不是《弗兰肯斯坦》

it's "Frankenstein's Monster "

而是《弗兰肯斯坦的怪物》一样

以为是那怪人的名字其实那个科学家的名字

又称《科学怪人》弗兰肯斯坦常被人误会

Which brings us back to that hulking simpleton over there

这又让我们联想到后面这位庞大巨怪

And if anyone's a genius

要说谁是天才

it's me for the way I brought that full circle

那也是能联想出刚才那一串的我

How much money did he win

他赢了多少奖金呢

Over half a million dollars

超过50万美元

And he doesn't have to use it for research

而且这个奖金没规定得用在研究上

he can do whatever he wants with it

他可以任意支配

Oh good maybe he can build a nicer bridge to live under

他家住天桥底现在可以盖一座更好的桥住了

Here he comes Right

-他过来啦 -是啊

Be polite

保持礼貌

I know how to behave

我知道怎么表现好吗

Do you

是吗

Hey congratulations Bert

恭喜你啊伯特

Yeah good for you That's amazing

-恭喜你 -太厉害了

Thanks

谢谢

I was as surprised as anybody

我也跟所有人一样惊讶啊

When they called and told me I won

他们打来通知我得奖了

I didn't believe them

我都不相信是真的

And then they said "No you really won "

然后他们说"你真的赢了"

And then I said "Cool "

我就说"酷啊"

Someone call George R R Martin

谁快打给《冰与火之歌》的拖搞作者

this guy knows how to finish a story

这家伙可知道怎么给故事收尾了

I've gotten pretty good at telling it

我已经越来越会说这故事了

Well see ya

好啦再见

Some genius

还天才呢

I zinged him with sarcasm he didn't even notice

我讽刺了他一番他都没听出来

I know

对啊

and it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard

你讽刺他的金句可是我这辈子听过最毒的呢

Well aren't you a peach

你这小嘴抹了蜜了

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait

The Earth began to cool

The autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

Math Science History unraveling the mystery

That all started with a big bang

Bang

By aBU 201611

生

活

大

爆

炸

第十季第九集

Who leaves their bike in the hallway

谁会把自行车随便放在走廊啊

You know if I knew how to ride one

我要是会骑自行车

I'd steal it

我肯定就偷了

Ignore him

别理他

he's just cranky because Bert from the geology lab

他耍脾气是因为地质学的伯特

won a big grant

赢了笔大奖学金

Oh I heard him interviewed on the radio

我有在广播上听到他的采访

You know when they told him he won

就是颁奖单位通知他获奖时

he didn't believe it but then he did believe it

他本来不相信然后他又相信了

It was so funny

真是笑死我了

Who listens to the radio anymore

这年头谁还听广播啊

Bert is studying the way microbes in rocks

伯特在研究岩石中的微生物

can survive in extreme environmental conditions

在极端环境下是如何生存的

They say it could be a potential indicator

有人认为这可能成为

of life on other planets

其他星球上有无生命的指标

You know what I've met Bert

我见过伯特这人

Isn't he an indicator of life on other planets

他的存在不就指出了其他星球上有生物吗

You used to make those jokes about me

你以前开这种玩笑都是吐槽我的

Now everything is Bert Bert Bert

现在什么事都是伯特这个伯特那个

You know Sheldon maybe if you take the time

谢尔顿或许如果你花时间

to actually read Bert's research

真去读读人家的研究成果

you'd be less bitter about him winning

或许你就不会对人家赢奖这么郁闷

You want me to read a geology paper

你是要我去读地质学论文啊

Honestly I just want you to be quiet

说实话我是想你闭嘴

but I'm all out of taffy

可是我身上没糖果了

You busy

你在忙吗

There's somebody out here who wants to meet you

这边有个人想进来见见你

Who is it

谁啊

Say hello to everybody's little friend

跟大家的小号朋友打声招呼

remote control Stephen Hawking

遥控史蒂芬·霍金教授

Where did you get that

你从哪搞来的啊

I found him in an old box

在一个旧物箱里发现的

Why would you buy it

你为啥要买这玩意

I didn't buy it

我没买

I made it

是我做的

Last question

最后一个问题

What is wrong with you

你脑子是有什么毛病啊

What's the big deal

这有什么大不了啊

Howie it's in poor taste

华仔这是低级趣味

No it's not Check it out

才没有你看好了

He says fun stuff

他会说很好笑的句子

Hey good lookin'

你好啊美女

want to go for a spin

想跟我去兜几圈吗

His eyes also light up in the dark

他的双眼在黑暗中会亮哦

It's always fun watching him read someone else's work

看他读别人的研究成果总是很好玩

It's like scrolling through the emojis on my phone

感觉就像在翻阅我手机上的表情包

Ye why

为为啥

Eh why

为啥啊

Oh that's why

原来如此

Sounds like the night we had coitus

听起来像我们交媾的那晚

I hope you're happy making me read this

让我读这东西的人你们这下高兴了吧

Bert's work is remarkable

伯特的成果非凡

And I'm more upset than ever

我现在更不高兴了

This is worse than when I had to admit that

承认这点比有一次我得承认

Cedric the Entertainer's actually entertaining

搞笑艺人塞德里克真的很搞笑还不爽

黑人演员常在一些喜剧电影或电视中客串/配音

Sheldon it's foolish to be angry that Bert's work has merit

谢尔顿因为伯特的成果很棒而生气太傻了

Yeah well I I am angry

我是生气

And you telling me not to be angry

而你叫我别生气

makes me angry

让我更生气

And do you know how hearing myself

你知道一遍又一遍

say the word angry over and over makes me feel

听自己说"生气"这个词让我作何感想吗

Ooh a angry What are you doing

-生气吗 -干嘛多嘴

I I I knew the answer I got excited

人家知道答案得意忘形了嘛

Hey buddy why don't we go for a walk

伙计要不我们出去散散步

so you can calm down

好让你冷静一下

That's a good idea

这个主意好

I guess everyone's having them now

看来现在所有人都能有好主意了

Hey I'm trying to help you

我是想帮你好吗

Fine

好吧

You can walk ahead of me and scare off the pigeons

你可以走在我前面帮我吓走鸽子

Just wave your arms a little and they fly away it's not

就挥挥你的稻草人手鸽子自然会飞走

Okay Raj

拉杰

I'm gonna show you something

我要给你看样东西

Now one of us thinks it's offensive

我们俩有一人觉得这玩意冒犯人

The other thinks it's hilarious

另一人觉得这玩意很好笑

and a great idea

而且创意十足

But I'm not going to tell you

但是我不会告诉你

who likes it

我们俩谁喜欢它

This is tough

这问题太难了

But I'm going to say

但我要说

it's the guy who shows me YouTube videos

喜欢它的人肯定是给我看网上

of people getting hit in the nuts

人们蛋蛋被各种打到视频的那家伙

You're crazy

你净瞎说

I've worked with Hawking

我跟霍金共事过

He's got a great sense of humor

他非常有幽默感

And I think he'd like it

我觉得他会喜欢这玩意

Okay call him and show him

好啊那打给他视频给他看

I dare you

我谅你不敢

I have no problem calling him

打给他当然没问题啊

Fine then do it

好啊那就打吧

Fine I will

行我打

While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist

当你在烦世界上最有名的科学家时

be sure to show him how funny he looks

记得一定要给他看看他被卡在

getting stuck under our dishwasher

我们洗碗机下的样子有多可笑

What's this button do

这个按钮是做什么的

Gentlemen start your wheelchairs

先生们启动轮椅

"Gentlemen Start Your Engines "

经典赛车开场白原句为

You laughed when that guy got hit in the nuts

你也在别人蛋蛋被打到时嘲笑人家啊

I laughed because the guy was Leonard

我笑是因为那个被打到的人是莱纳德

I admire you Leonard

我很佩服你莱纳德

Really why

是吗为什么

You're happy with who you are

你对自己的状态感到满意

You don't get jealous of other people

你不会去羡慕嫉妒其他人

Instead of being weighed down by ambition

你没有雄心壮志也不会被其拖累

you just float along like a dead body in a river

你只是一具飘浮在河上的死尸随波逐流

I couldn't just take the compliment

我为啥就不能接受夸赞就好

I had to ask why

还得嘴贱问原因

You know I do understand what you're feeling

我真的理解你现在的感受

My brother and sister's accomplishments

我哥哥和姐姐的成就

have always been held over my head

一直让我抬不起头

How did you deal with it

那你是怎么处理的

I wet the bed until college

我直到上大学才不尿床

but I don't think that's a quality fix

但我觉得这不算是个好的解决方法

I can't believe I was surpassed by a geologist

我无法相信自己被一个地质学家超越了

I mean

我是说

rocks

石头啊

He studies rocks

他研究的是石头

If rock is so great how come paper beats it

石头要真有这么棒为啥剪刀石头布会输给布

Leonard I'm having a primal urge to throw this rock

莱纳德我有一股冲动想把这石头扔出去

Do it

扔吧

Visualize it as your anger

把它想象成你的气愤

a and and toss it out of your life

然后用力将它扔出你的人生

Perhaps I will

或许我真会扔

This rock

这块石头

encapsulates all my negative emotions

封装了我所有的负面情绪

I will cast you far away

我会将你抛得远远的

Feel free to take out a pigeon while you're at it

你被抛出天际时可以顺便砸死只鸽子

Let it fly

让它飞出天际吧

What happened

怎么回事

I tried to let go of anger

我试图释放我的气愤

and threw a rock into my foot

结果扔石头砸到我的脚了

Then he got more angry and kicked the rock

然后他更生气用另一只脚

with his other foot Wha

-去踹那块石头 -搞毛啊

And what happened to you

你又是怎么回事

Oh I laughed so hard

我狂笑不止

I burst a blood vessel in my nose It's fine

鼻子的血管都笑破了一根没事啦

You know it's one thing to be envious

嫉妒别人就算了

but now you're injuring yourself

可你现在还自残

It has to stop

这事必须得打住

Although if you are gonna do it again

不过如果你要再自残

please let me know so I can get it on video

麻烦一定要告诉我我好拍下来

You know Sheldon

谢尔顿

instead of fixating on what Bert has

别老关注伯特拥有什么

you should appreciate all of the good things in your life

你应该感恩自己人生拥有的美好事物

Y You've got love

你拥有爱

you're in good health

你拥有健康的身体

you've got a roof over your head

你还拥有一个栖身之所

Yeah but you've got all those things

是啊但这些你也有

and no one's lining up to be you

也没人争着排队想成为你啊

Anybody else want to try

谁想来试试

I'm gonna go make some more tea

我再去泡点茶

and question my life choices

顺便质疑下我的人生选择

You're up

你去吧

This is getting old fast Dolores knock it off

谢小妹妹老娘快没耐心了别再唧唧歪歪

Uh do you really think calling me names is helpful

你真的觉得这么乱叫我有用吗

I do

有啊

Your life is fine you big baby

你的人生很好了你个老屁孩

Maybe you're right

或许你说得对

Really

不是吧

If it helps

不知能否安慰到你

I'm questioning your life choices too

但我也在质疑你的人生选择了

Thank you Penny

谢谢佩妮

You know I just need to keep reminding myself

我就是需要提醒我自己

that Bert's success is not my failure

伯特的成功并不代表我的失败

There you go

这就对啦

And that men of his large stature

而且像他这样巨型的身材

are more susceptible to a wide array of life threatening diseases

也更容易感染上各种各样的致命病症

There you go

这就...对啦...

What's up

什么事

I'm conducting a quick survey

我在做一个快速调查

Do you think this respectful

你觉得这个向伟人致敬的

and loving tribute to a great man

集可敬与可爱为一体的小玩意

is in poor taste

是低级趣味吗

Yep

没错

Do you think this is in poor taste

你觉得这个算低级趣味吗

Does it spin around and do tricks

这玩意可以打转或耍把戏吗

Yeah

都可以

Then yeah

那就是低级趣味

What do you think

你怎么看

That is hilarious

太好玩了

Give me the remote control

把遥控器给我

I want to drive him into the girls' restroom

我要把他开到女厕所去

All right we're done It's offensive

结论已出这不是个好玩意

Top of the afternoon gentlemen

下午好各位

You're in a good mood

你心情不错啊

Well it's a new day I have a new outlook

新的一天已降临我有了新的世界观

You know I realized

我发现

I don't need to worry about other people

我不用关心别人的事

I just need to think more about myself

我只需要多把心思花在自己身上

Oh how will we ever get used to the new you

天我们要如何习惯全新的你

Well I'm glad to see you moving forward

我很高兴你能放下并向未来前进

Bert did quality research

伯特的研究做得不错

And he deserves whatever accolades he receives

他受到表彰也是理所当然的

What is going on

怎么回事

Did you upgrade his software last night

你昨晚升级了他这机器人的软件吗

I think he might be learning on his own

他这是开启了自主学习模式

Then the robot uprising has begun

看来机器人大叛乱指日可待

Excuse me I need to pay Bert

抱歉我要去向伯特

a proper congratulations

表达我的祝贺

He doesn't just look like C 3PO

他不光长得像C-3PO

《星际大战》中的金色机器人

now he walks like him

现在连走路都一模一样了

Bert

伯特

I wanted to let you know that I read your research

我想让你知道我读了你的论文

and your award is well deserved

你拿奖实至名归

Thanks

谢谢

I've been hearing that a lot

最近我听了好多类似的话

Ever since I won people think I'm great

自从我得奖大家都夸我棒棒哒

Well just this once

好吧仅此一次

you can count me as people too

你可以把我和大家混为一谈

You know as a MacArthur Grant winner

作为麦克阿瑟奖学金获得者

I'm allowed to nominate someone for next year

我可以提名下一届的候选人

Really

真的吗

I didn't know that

我还不知道这件事呢

So I was thinking you know

我想了一下

engineers don't get a lot of respect

工程师好像一直不受重视

Is your friend Howard working on anything cool

你朋友霍华德有在研究什么有趣的东西吗

You know I I'm not sure

我我不确定

You know you'd have to ask him

你应该去问他

Excuse me

失陪一下

Leonard I hurt myself again

莱纳德我又伤了自己

Excuse me I I have to go take some pictures

不好意思我得去拍点照片了

I can't believe you head butted a water fountain

真不敢相信你居然用头去撞饮水器

No I went to punch the water fountain

不我本打算一拳砸在饮水器上

slipped in water in front of the water fountain

结果踩到饮水器前一滩水滑倒

and hit my head on the water fountain

才一头撞上饮水器

I can't imagine you being violent

我真想象不出你暴力的样子

美国50年代搞笑组合

It's not hard Just picture the Three Stooges

也没那么难了想象一下"三个臭皮匠"的表演

and then take away two stooges

然后去掉两个臭皮匠

I'm so disappointed in myself

我对自己太失望了

Jealousy is completely illogical

嫉妒真是毫无逻辑可言

It's a human emotion Sheldon

这是人类的正常感情谢尔顿

Everyone gets jealous

每个人都会嫉妒

I'm jealous of Leonard and Penny

我就很嫉妒莱纳德和佩妮

and Howard and Bernadette

霍华德和伯纳黛特之间

for being in such happy relationships

相亲相爱的关系

What about me and Sheldon

不嫉妒我和谢尔顿吗

Sure

有啦有啦

I've always been jealous of how much money

我一直都很嫉妒拉杰

Raj's family has

家底丰厚

Thank you for saying that Next to buying things

谢谢夸奖家底丰厚的好处

that is the best part about having money

除了买买买就是炫炫炫

Ever since I met Penny

自从我认识了佩妮

I've been envious of her looks

我就一直嫉妒她的美貌

Aw thank you

谢谢

That's why I was so happy when you cut your hair off

所以你剪短发时我才笑得合不拢嘴

What

什么

You know what I mean

你懂我的意思

You were still hot but more like a

虽然你依然美丽但更像是

"Why'd that hot girl cut off all her hair " hot

"那位美女是疯了才剪短发吧"的那种美

You liked my short hair right

你喜欢我的短发造型吧

Yeah I loved it

是...我挺喜欢的

Love you love the hair

爱你爱你的秀发

would love to change the subject

咱们换个话题吧

Seriously none of you liked it

说真的你们都不喜欢吗

I thought it was brave

我觉得你很勇敢

Does that count as liking it

这算是喜欢吗

You know how come nobody's talking about

那怎么没人说起

Howard's dopey haircut

霍华德的傻逼发型呢

I think he looks cute

我觉得他挺可爱呀

And I think you're cute

我觉得你也很可爱

I think you're both cute

我觉得你俩都好可爱

I think I hate all of you nerds

我觉得我烦死你们这群书呆子了

Sorry I'm moving slowly

抱歉我走得太慢了

Oh I don't mind

没事

If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket

要是你现在能从兜里掏出颗奶油硬糖

it would be like I'm walking with my grandma

那就真是和跟我奶奶散步一模一样了

Oh no

不是吧

地质学教授

伯特伦·凯布勒

Did you A plaque

你看... 纪念牌

Nobody wants to see this

没人想看这玩意儿

Well change "Plaque" to "Mixed race couple"

把"纪念牌"这词换成"跨种族伴侣"

and you are my grandma

你就是我奶奶无疑

I can't take this anymore

我再也受不了了

Bert Bert Bert

伯特伯特伯特

Come in

请进

All right let's do this

好了我们上吧...

Bert

伯特

We need to talk

我们得谈谈

What happened to you

你这是怎么搞的

Rock rock water fountain

石头石头饮水器

I am not proud of this

这事说起来并不光彩

But I have been envious of your recent success

但我最近一直在嫉妒你的成功

Wow I won the MacArthur Grant

我得了麦克阿瑟奖

everyone's jealous of me

大家都开始嫉妒我

Once I get Lasik I'll be out of things to wish for

等我把视力激光矫正手术做了就别无所求了

I was hoping by admitting my weakness to you

我是希望通过向你坦白我的弱点

I'd somehow be unburdened

卸下我心中的重担

Is it working No

-轻松了吗 -没有

Now that you know my weakness

现在弱点被你知道了

I hate you more than ever

我对你的恨意更强烈了

Well you know we're both pretty smart

我们俩都很聪明

I bet if we put our heads together

要是我们能一起想

we could come up with a solution

说不定能想出个办法呢

We Hang on

我们等等

You're my enemy

你是我的敌人

Now the enemy of the enemy is my friend

敌人的敌人就是朋友

And right now I'm my own worst enemy

现在我最大的敌人是我自己

That makes you my fr

也就是说你是我朋...

Okay I'm good to go

说吧我洗耳恭听

Great

太好了

Now that we're friends want to see if we can

既然我们是朋友了要不要试试

get tickets to a taping of Ellen

去搞两张《艾伦秀》的观众入场券

You know what This isn't gonna work

拉倒吧这行不通的

Sheldon wait

谢尔顿等等

You know you've got a lot to be happy about

你可以高兴的事有很多

You're at the top of your field

在你的领域里你是最棒的

you have a great girlfriend

还有一个那么棒的女朋友

Yes That's right

对啊想起来了

I have Amy

我有艾米

In the past you've professed feelings for her

过去你曾经喜欢过她

Does it eat you up inside

看着我拥有她而你却望而不得

that I have her and you don't

心里是不是苦死了

It used to

以前是

But now that I'm rich and successful

不过现在我已经名利双收了

I think I can do better

应该可以找个更好的

I can't believe you punched Bert

不敢相信你居然打了伯特一拳

I didn't punch him

我没有挥拳打他

He turned around and I gave him

是趁他转身我给他来了一招

a Captain Kirk karate chop

寇克船长的手刀

I'm not even sure he knows I did it

都不知道他有没有感觉到

Hey Sheldon

谢尔顿

I've got someone here who might make you feel better

我找到了或许能安慰你的人

Hello Sheldon

你好谢尔顿

Professor Hawking

霍金教授

I understand

我理解你

you're struggling with professional jealousy

因为事业上的嫉妒心而挣扎的感受

Thanks Leonard now he's not gonna think I'm cool

谢你啊莱纳德现在害他觉得我不酷了

Don't worry I know how you feel

别担心我懂你的感受

I have never won a Nobel Prize

我一次诺贝尔奖没得过

Oh wow that doesn't seem fair

感觉好不公平啊

It's fine

没关系

I've been on The Simpsons

我上过动画片《辛普森一家》

How do you deal with the success of your colleagues

你怎么面对同事们的成功呢

I remind myself

我提醒我自己

every scientific advancement is a victory

每一次科学进步都是胜利

Also I was on Star Trek

而且我还上过《星际迷航》

Oh it was a good one He played poker with Sir Isaac

那段可精彩了他和牛顿玩扑克

You don't care

你没兴趣

Don't waste your time on jealousy Sheldon

不要把你的时间花在嫉妒上谢尔顿

you're too brilliant

对你的聪明才智是种浪费

How can you feel bad

连史蒂芬·霍金都夸你聪明

if Stephen Hawking says you're brilliant

你怎么还能难过呢

I can't

不难过了

Thank you Professor Hawking

谢谢你霍金教授

You are a gift to mankind

你就是人类之光

There should be statues of you everywhere

应该到处都有你的雕像

You know the Lincoln Memorial has a big chair

林肯纪念堂里的林肯坐在椅子上呢

We could swap you right in

直接把你换上去吧

I always thought a motorized toy of me would be cool

要是有个我形象的电动玩具就好了

What a wonderful idea

多好的主意啊

How does this man not have a Nobel

怎么还不给这人颁诺贝尔奖

Do not tell Wolowitz Way ahead of you

-不要告诉沃洛威茨 -早想到了

A new study came out and it said that laughing

新的研究成果表示大笑

由著名主持人兼喜剧演员艾伦主持

深受观众喜爱的《艾伦秀》现场

makes your brain work better

能让你的大脑运转更灵活

And I know that's true because laughing

这是真的因为我已经

has made me the "Smartiest "

把自己笑成"最葱明"的人了

Although on the other hand

不过话说回来

babies laugh a lot and they're dumb

婴儿们也总笑他们怎么那么笨

Do people know about her

大家认识这人吗

'Cause she's delightful

她好讨人喜欢啊