生活大爆炸-S06E20_生活大爆炸

S01

I was reading about this jellyfish that never dies.

有一种永生不死的水母

Instead it reverts to its asexual state

它会从性成熟回复到幼虫无性阶段

and then grows up again.

然后重新变性成熟

We thought my 90 year old grandfather

我家以为我们90岁的姥爷

had reverted to an asexual state

也转回了无性状态

but the lawsuit from his Jamaican caregiver

直到他的牙买加裔看护员告上法庭

proved us all wrong.

证明了我们都错了

My point is immortality is not only a possibility

我想说的是永生不再是空想

it is real.

能成为现实了

Only if you're this jellyfish

除非你是个水母

which periodically reverts to a mass of

然后周期性地回复到一大团

undifferentiated protoplasm.

未分化的原生质

If I could keep my Gmail account

只要还能保留我的谷歌邮箱号

I'd be okay with that.

我无所谓啊

Hello fellas.

早安啊同志们

Remember when we were trying to figure out what that smell

还记得我们之前在寻思塔伯曼教授

coming from Professor Tupperman's office was

办公室飘出来的是什么味道吗

Yeah Turns out it was Tupperman.

-然后呢 -原来就是塔伯曼的味儿

Dead at his desk for two weeks.

死在办公桌上都两周了

Oh my God. That's terrible.

-天啊 -太惨了

In lieu of flowers the department chair

系主任要求大家不要送花

is asking that everyone donate a bottle of Febreze.

改送除臭剂过去会更好哦

If we're going to change the topic from jellyfish

如果要换掉刚才的水母话题

I'd be okay with brine shrimp

我可以接受改聊丰年虾

or the history of the unicycle.

或者独轮脚踏车的历史

Show a little compassion a man died.

有点同情心好吗人家尸骨未寒呢

And turned into a puddle of goo.

其实已经化成了一滩尸泥了

Now we can either sit around

我们大可以在这

and cry over spilt professor or...

缅怀烂成尸泥的教授

we can rejoice in the knowledge

也可以一同为一个

that a tenured position has just opened up.

空出来的终身教职庆祝一下

I choose to do the latter.

我会选择后者

Excuse me the whole tenure system is ridiculous.

拜托终身教职制度本来就十分荒谬

A guaranteed job for life

一个终身有保障的工作

only encourages the faculty to become complacent.

只会让那些人变得过于自满怠惰

If we really want science to advance

如果真想要科学进步

people should have chips implanted in their skulls

人们应该在脑子里植入杀人晶片

that explode when they say something stupid.

只要一说蠢话就炸烂他们的脑袋

Well I believe people do their best work

我认为人们只有在自己

when they feel safe and secure.

有保障的情况下才能做到最好

If you need my nose you'll find it firmly lodged

要找我的话只需到

up the rectum of the tenure committee.

教职选举委员会的马屁处寻我即可

You Ph.D's gonna go suck up like Kripke

你们几个博士都要去当马屁精吗

No.

才不会

I mean I'll apply

我会去申请啦

but I'm not gonna stoop to playing politics.

但是我才不去耍手段搞阴谋

Yeah me neither.

我也不会

It should be about the work.

重点应该是在工作成果上

And if I can't get tenure

而且如果我选不上

I'd like to see you or Sheldon get it.

我也希望是你或谢尔顿能选上

Raj don't dangle false hope

拉杰别在莱纳德面前

in front of Leonard like that.

乱说一些给他希望的话

Excuse me

抱歉

but I think I'm just as qualified as you are.

我跟你完全一样有资格有希望好吗

第六季第二十集

生活大爆炸

So "tenured" means a job for life Yup.

-"终身教职"就是终身有保障的工作吗 -没错

And you can't get fired

就算你做的超烂

even if you're bad at it

他们也不会炒你吗

Mm not really.

不太可能

Wow sounds a lot like being a pretty waitress

听起来就跟起司工厂店里的

at the Cheesecake Factory.

正妹女服务员一样

While I disagree with the premise of tenure

虽然我不太认同终身教职制度

if they gave it to me

但如果他们给我这职位

it wouldn't diminish my output.

我也会继续对科学界做贡献

You know I'm like the sun.

我就跟太阳一样

Can't turn this off.

发光发热停不下来

Are Rajesh and Leonard competing for it as well

拉杰什与莱纳德也报名参选了吗

Do they know they don't stand a chance

那他们知道自己一点机会都没有

'cause you're so great

因为你超厉害吗

Well put.

说得好

You know I must say I go back and forth

不得不说虽然我总在纠结

on this boyfriend girlfriend thing

我们是男女朋友这件事

but those moments when you worship me

但你崇拜我敬仰我的那些时刻

really keep you in the running.

真的替你加分了超多

It would be nice to have the increased income.

终身教职的薪水会更高

Stop taking money from my parents.

这样就可以不用管爸妈要钱了

Money from family does come with strings attached.

花家里的钱总是会被父母管着

You have no idea.

何止啊

They buy me a new BMW for my birthday

他们买了辆新宝马给我当生日礼物

but can I get seat warmers

但我能买座椅加热器吗

No.

不行

"Rajesh if you want a warm butt

"拉杰什如果你想要屁屁热热

you're gonna have to pay for it yourself."

你就得自己掏钱买"

Well maybe I will old man

逼急了我就真去买死老头

I think that's enough wine for now.

我觉得酒喝得差不多了

I just keep thinking about how cool it would be

我一直忍不住在脑海里幻想

if I called my mom and told her

打给我妈告诉她

that I got tenure at Caltech.

我在加州理工得到终身教职的画面

She'd be proud huh

她会为你骄傲吧

Oh very.

绝对会非常骄傲

Assuming she takes my call.

假如她接我电话的话

My primary concern with being granted tenure

我最大担心的是在拿到终身教职后

is living with an insanely jealous roommate after the fact.

还得跟超嫉妒我的室友同住一个屋檐下

I might need to sleep with a gun under my pillow.

我可能睡觉都得放把枪在我枕头下

Or a chainsaw.

或放把电锯

Or you take advantage of your newfound economic stability

也可以利用终身教职的高薪收入

and move out...

搬离这里

buy a house...

买个房子

get married...

结个小婚

start a family.

组织个小家庭

Yeah or...

或者是

the chainsaw.

放把电锯就行

And I will return to New Delhi in triumph

我会光荣凯旋回归新德里

atop a bejeweled white elephant

骑着宝石装饰的白象登场

And you know what will be on that elephant's back

而且你们知道大象的背上会有什么吗

A seat warmer.

座椅加热器

"No Father you may not have a ride "

不好意思父亲就不载你

I'm gonna make some coffee.

我去煮点咖啡

So who do you have to schmooze to get this deal

你得拍谁的马屁才能得到这份工作

I'm not gonna schmooze anybody.

我不会拍任何人的马屁

I'm gonna let my work speak for itself.

我的工作成果足以说明一切

That's great.

那很棒

That shows a lot of integrity.

这说明你很正直

Thank you.

谢谢

I'm a naive idiot right

我就是一个天真的傻子对吗

Oh good you heard me.

很好你懂我什么意思

You know if you really want tenure

如果你很想获得这份终身教职

maybe you should cozy up to the people making the decision.

或许你该去奉承那些有决定权的人

Sheldon Cooper does not do "cozy."

谢尔顿·库珀才不搞"奉承"

You don't say.

是啊是啊

But I suppose it wouldn't hurt

但了解谁在委员会

to know who's on the committee.

对我也没什么害处

Let's see...

我看看

Oh Janine Davis.

珍妮·戴维斯

Oh dear.

天啊

Is that a problem

有问题吗

Yeah even you.

你也一样

You're a slave.

你是个奴隶

I'm a what

我是什么来着

I'm not sure it could go either way.

我不确定有两种可能

Hey. Mrs. Davis.

你好戴维斯夫人

Dr. Hofstadter.

霍夫斯塔德博士

Just thought I'd come down

我只是想下来

and start getting ready for swimsuit season.

为穿泳装而锻炼身材

Good for you.

那很好啊

Not that you need it.

你显然不需要

I bet you look great in a swimsuit.

我猜你穿泳装一定很迷人

Thank you.

谢谢

I've got what my father used to call "furniture disease."

我得了一种病我爸称其为"家具疾病"

My chest is falling into my drawers.

我的胸部都下垂得要掉进我的抽屉里了

I'm not uh familiar with this model.

我不是很熟悉这个机器

How do I make it start

我要怎么开始

You push start.

按"开始"

Right.

好的

This one might be broken.

这台可能坏了

You have to move. Got it.

-你得动起来 -懂了

There.

好了

Oh yeah

太棒了

Yeah now I'm feeling it.

我感觉到我在运动了

Oh this is great.

这真是来劲儿啊

I could do this for the rest of my life.

我愿意一辈子都做这个

Hey speaking...

说到

speaking of things you do for the rest of your life...

一辈子都可以做的事情

uh did I read that you're on that that tenure committee

听说你在终身教职选举委员会是吗

Yep.

是的

I got to get a home gym.

我得弄个家庭健身房了

Well I'm sure you have a lot of

我知道有很多

good applicants I just

优秀的申请者我只是

wanted to say hi and...

想来跟你打声招呼

let you know that I'll be...

告诉你我会

throwing my hat in the...

参加这次...

...ring.

竞选

All right I'll keep an eye out for that. Yeah.

-好的我会留意你的 -好

Hey Hofstadter.

霍夫斯塔德

Funny seeing you here for the first time in...

真有意思这么久我还是第一次在这里

ever.

见到你

Go... away.

走开啦

Janine the Machine let's do this

珍妮我们一起锻炼吧

Hey Barry.

巴里

Well look at that.

快瞧瞧

Burned a whole calorie.

我消耗了整整一卡路里

I guess you got here early

你早早来这里锻炼是想消耗掉

to burn off that banana bread I baked you.

那个我给你做的香焦面包的热量吧

Yeah it was delicious. Thank you.

对啊真的很好吃谢谢

No my pleasure.

不客气我很乐意

Oh if you... if you like banana bread...

如果你喜欢香蕉面包

I've got a a great recipe.

我有个很棒的做法

The trick is in... in fresh ground...

秘诀在...

I'll e mail it to you.

我发电邮告诉你好了

All right I'm warm.

好了我热好身了

Ready to kick it up a notch

准备好加快速度吗

Let's go.

开始吧

That's enough cardio for me.

我的有氧运动做够了

I'm just... gonna stretch out

在我去练举重前

before I hit the weights.

我先拉拉筋

You okay

你没事吧

Call someone

快叫人来

Good day Mrs. Davis.

早上好戴维斯夫人

This is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali

我是拉杰什·库萨帕里博士

from the astrophysics department.

来自天体物理学部门

Don't be alarmed

别紧张

I'm not really in space.

我不是真的在外太空

Anyhoo...

总之

I'd like to take this opportunity

我想借此机会

to tell you about myself

向您介绍下我自己

so sit back relax and enjoy

所以坐好放松好好看

the following 90 minute video.

接来下这90分钟的影片

Oh come on.

不是吧

Born in New Delhi

我出生于新德里

the third son of an itinerant gynecologist

是一名妇科医生的第三个儿子

I showed early signs of genius.

我自幼聪颖有"神童"之称

At the age of five I discovered a celestial object

在五岁的时候我发现一个天体

which later turned out to be the moon.

后来发现原来是"月亮"

Mrs. Davis Mrs. Davis

戴维斯夫人戴维斯夫人

Mrs. Davis

戴维斯夫人

God they're everywhere.

天啊他们真是无所不在

Come in.

进来吧

Dr. Cooper how can I help you

库珀博士你有何事

Yes hello. I'm fine. Um...

你也好我挺好的

I understand you may have a bad impression of me

我认为你对我的印象不怎么好

so I bought you a gift.

所以我给你买了个礼物

Uh Dr. Cooper that's not necessary.

库珀博士这就多余了

It's too late.

太晚了

Get ready to like me.

准备好爱上我吧

Roots

《根》

根据亚历克斯·哈利的小说《根》改编的电视迷你剧

The tragic history of slavery in America.

讲述美国黑奴的悲惨历史

Fun for the whole family.

可供你全家细细品味

Why would you think this is an appropriate gift

你为何会觉得这种"礼物"会很合适

You are black right

你是黑人不是吗

This meeting has come to an end.

此次会面到此为止

Because you want to start watching it right now.

因为你想马上开始看这部剧

Copy that.

明白明白

Let's see.

我看看

Up next on the tenure committee is...

下一个要拜访的教职委员会委员是

Professor Wu.

吴教授

Well get ready for the complete works of Jackie Chan.

准备好收我的"成龙全集大礼包"吧

Gentlemen.

先生们

Where have you been Nurse's office.

-你去哪了 -医务室

Asthma attack

哮喘犯了吗

Asthma heart some kind of attack.

哮喘心脏病反正来了一发

I'm fine though.

我没事

You guys going to Professor Tupperman's memorial

你们要去塔伯曼教授的追悼会吗

I don't know. Probably not.

-不知道 -可能不会去

Barely knew him.

和他不熟

Yeah you wouldn't want to look like

是啊你们可不想让其他人发现

you guys are brown nosing the tenure committee

你们在拍教职委员会委员们的马屁

who will all be there.

他们可都会在场哦

Oh yeah that's what I was hoping for meerkats.

我正等着你们这反应呢 "丁满"姿态

也就是狐獴迪士尼电影角色

I won't be able to make our date night this Thursday so...

很不幸地告诉你这周四的约会要泡汤了

bad news for you.

真是不好意思

You better have a good excuse this time

你这次的理由最好合理点

because "trimming Q tips to fit your ears right"

因为"要修整棉花棒让掏耳朵更舒适"

is obvious nonsense.

明显是胡扯

First of all when you say things like that

首先你说这种话出来

people think you're crazy.

大家会以为你是疯子

Second the reason I'm cancelling is because

第二我取消这次约会是因为

I have to attend a memorial service for Professor Tupperman.

我要参加塔伯曼教授的追悼会

It sounds like a long and tedious evening.

听起来就很浪费时间又无趣

Eh it will be.

的确是

Honestly if I must endure a long and tedious evening

说实在的要是我想度过一个漫长无趣的夜晚

I'd rather it be with you on date night.

我宁愿选择和你约会

But I have no choice.

但我别无选择

The tenure committee's going to be there.

教职选举委员会的人会出席

Well in that case perhaps I should come along.

这样的话或许我也该去

Well now that I think about it

想想看的话

that would be most helpful.

你倒是可以帮上忙

Of course it would.

当然了

I'm well versed in academic politics

我对学术界的人际关系非常精通

and as a respected scientist

而且作为德高望重的科学家

I can only raise your stock as a candidate.

我可以给你加分让你成为候选人

Actually I meant you could drive me.

我的意思是你可以当我的司机

But if it makes you happy that other stuff too.

但如果你觉得开心刚才你说的也包括在内

Do anything interesting today

今天有趣事发生吗

Oh not really.

没有

I was out shopping with Amy.

我和艾米去逛了街

She wanted me to help her find something for this memorial thing.

她让我陪她选参加追悼会要穿的衣服

Wait Sheldon's going to be there

等一下谢尔顿会去吗

We all promised we weren't going to go.

我们发过誓都不去的

Oh what a jerk. I know.

-真是个混球 -就是啊

I was hoping to go without anyone finding out.

我还想自己去不被他们发现呢

Well since Amy's going do you want me there

反正艾米要去你想我也去吗

You know to support you

给你加油打气

That's nice but it it's just gonna be

你真好但参加追悼会的都会是些

a room full of boring old men

无聊的老男人

and I'm not sure how much help you'd be.

不知道你去能帮上什么忙

Okay.

好吧

I'm just gonna tie my shoe while you think about that.

你先想想我系个鞋带

Oh yeah. No. Thanks

好吧不谢谢

that would be great help.

你会帮上大忙的

You realize you might kill some of them.

你知道你会把有些人迷"死"的吧

Oh then you all can get tenure.

那你们就都能获得终身教职了

Come on Daddy.

别这样老爸

All the other scientists have seat warmers.

其他科学家都有座椅加热器

This is so humiliating.

真是丢人

I've got to get tenure.

我必须获得终身教职

Okay l let's meet halfway.

好吧一人让一步

How about I cut my cleaning lady down to twice a week

那我请清洁工的次数改为两周一次如何

Looks like we're both going to be living like animals.

看来我们的家要变成猪圈了

Let's go over our emotional responses one last time.

我们再练习一下该有的悲伤情绪

Okay.

好的

Professor Tupperman is dead

塔伯曼教授去世了

and that makes us... Sad.

-这让我们 -好伤心

The fact that there are so many people

虽然今晚来了这么多人

here tonight doesn't make us cranky and claustrophobic.

但我们不能不开心或不舒服

It makes us...

而是

Glad.

好开心

Giving Mrs. Davis the box set of Roots was...

给戴维斯女士《根》影集的这种行为

Bad.

好无礼

However... No.

-但是 -不行

Fine. Bad.

好吧好无礼

Unbelievable.

真是难以置信

You have some nerve showing up here

你居然有脸

just to schmooze with the tenure committee.

跑这儿来找教职委员会的人闲聊

You're here. Excuse me.

-你不也来了吗 -拜托

I'm here to pay my respects to Professor... Tupperware

我是来给特百惠教授致哀的

特百惠是知名塑料保鲜盒公司音似塔伯曼

or whatever his name is.

不管他叫什么吧

So am I.

我也是

His passing makes me feel... bad.

他的离世让我好伤心呢

Well well well Sheldon

瞧瞧谢尔顿

fancy meeting you here.

真没想到会碰到你啊

I guess the train store in Glendale

我猜格兰岱尔市的火车玩具商店

wasn't having a cotillion after all.

根本就没举办沙龙舞会

And you you said you weren't coming here either.

你你也说过不来的

I have a thick accent. You don't know what I said.

我口音重着呢你根本听不懂我的话

I'd like to know why Penny's here.

我想知道为什么连佩妮也来了

I'm here to support my man just like you.

我是来支持我家男人的和你一样

What are you going to do

你打算做些什么

Take people's drink orders and get them wrong

记下人们要喝什么然后端错的去吗

Do it.

行动

What Did she do it yet

什么她行动了没有啊

She plans on flirting with members of the tenure committee

她计划色诱教职选举委员会成员

to further Leonard's cause.

让莱纳德有更大机会入选

Well that's a fine how do you do.

真会耍阴招

Don't just stand there. Take your breasts out.

别傻站着赶紧把咪咪秀出来

Ooh meerkat fight

狐獴大混战

You're all wasting your time.

你们都在浪费时间

Sheldon is the most qualified for the job

谢尔顿最有资格获得这一职位

and no amount of gravity defying bosom's

再大的反地心引力胸部

going to change that.

也不能改变这一点

Seriously is that tape

说真的你有用胶带吗

Like how are they staying up like that

咪咪怎么会这样坚挺呢

Way to hit them with both barrels.

事业线就是让别人没事业

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

你们两个真是不知羞耻

Using women to advance your cause with sexuality

利用女人的性感来争取自己事业的上位

and whatever Amy plans on doing.

还有不管艾米准备做什么

Are you implying that my girlfriend

你是在暗示我的女朋友

has no sexuality to exploit Yes

-没有性感可利用吗 -对

Okay because that was not clear. Sheldon

-好吧刚暗示得不够清楚 -谢尔顿

What That was ambiguous.

怎么了他刚才说得不够清楚

Well now it's biguous.

那么现在我说清楚了

What are you gonna do about it

你能怎么拿我怎么样

You could talk some smack about his mother.

你可以说些拿他老妈开涮的黄段子

Well yes of course he wouldn't like that at all.

好主意他会很生气的

Last night

昨晚

I was feeling in need of sexual release

我有释放性需求的感觉时

when I happened to come across your mother.

恰好想到你的母亲

Okay okay.

好了

Guys what are we doing here

各位我们这是做什么呢

I don't know what you're doing

我不知道你在做什么

but I was about to insinuate

我是准备暗示

that I had coitus with Raj's mother for a dollar.

我和拉杰的妈发生了关系让她赚了一块钱

Oh you do what you want

你想干嘛随便你

but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure.

我可不想因为终身职位而失去朋友

Friends are forever.

朋友是一辈子的

So is tenure. Walk

-终身职位也是 -快走

I'm just gonna go home

我打算回家

and let my work speak for itself.

让我工作成果说明一切

You're right. This is beneath me.

你说的对我也不屑于这样做[在我身下]

Like your mother was last night.

和你老妈昨晚一样

How about it Sheldon

你怎么说谢尔顿

What do you think I should do

你觉得我应该怎么做

Well you'll always be an academic success

你的学术成就永远是卓越的

but...

但是

I seriously question

我真心怀疑

whether you'll make any more friends.

你还能不能交上更多其他的朋友

I don't want any more but let's go.

我不要更多不过走吧

Are you kidding

开什么玩笑

I would "wove" to baby sit for you.

我巴不得为你照看孩子

I could not ask you to do that.

我可不能这样麻烦你

Nonsense. Children "Wove" Me.

说什么呢孩子们可"耐"我了

Something about me just makes them "waugh" and "waugh."

我有某种妙招能让他们笑哇笑哇

No. We cannot lose to that jerk.

不我们可不能输给那个混蛋

Yeah screw it.

我不管了

I'm going in.

我要进去

You... Wait. Hold on.

你给我等等

I believe "screw it I'm going in" is what

我确定"我不管了我要进去"

I said to your mother last night.

正是我昨晚对你妈说的话

Don't worry I didn't really say that.

别担心我不是真的说了

I I find the concept

我觉得性行为

of coitus ridiculous and off putting.

荒唐而且令人不愉快

Should have taken my breasts out while I had the chance.

应该在我还有机会的时候秀下咪咪的

Mrs. Davis

戴维斯夫人

Mrs. Davis

戴维斯夫人

Mrs. Davis

戴维斯夫人

I know you're in there.

我知道你在里面

I saw your car in the parking lot.

我在停车场看到了你的车了

What

什么事

I just found out that you recommended myself

我刚得知你推荐我

Dr. Hofstadter and Dr. Koothrappali

霍夫斯塔德博士与库萨帕里博士

to be on the short list for tenure.

进入了终身职位最终候选人名单

Well despite your quirks

尽管你们怪里怪气

the three of you are very accomplished

但你们三个在各自工作领域里的成就

in your respective fields.

是毋庸质疑的

I don't know what you mean by "quirks " But um...

我不知道你说"怪里怪气"是什么意思但是

...I do want to express my gratitude.

我想表达我的谢意

You didn't bring another gift did you

你不会又带礼物来吧

No no.

没有

No I learned my lesson.

我已经学到教训了

I understand that was inappropriate.

我知道那是不礼貌的

Good.

很好

Anyway thank you.

总之谢谢你

You're welcome.

不客气

I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen.

我就当这事没发生吧

Yeah right on sister.

好极了大妹子

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