生活大爆炸-S01E15_生活大爆炸

S01

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On the other hand some physicists are concerned

另一方面呢物理学家又开始担心

That if this supercollider actually works

一旦超撞机真的实现

It'll create a black hole and swallow up the earth

它产生的黑洞会吞噬地球

Ending life as we know it

终结生命

Pfft what a bunch of crybabies

真是一群爱哭鬼

No guts no glory man

人有多大胆地有多大产

Hey check it out

嘿看看这个

The school of pharmacology is looking for volunteers

药学院要招志愿者

"we are testing a new medication "for social anxiety panic attacks

"我们正在测试一种新药专治社交焦虑症

Agoraphobia and obsessive compulsive disorder "

恐慌发作症陌生环境恐怖症和强迫症"

Why would they be looking for test subjects here

他们为什么要在这招人?

I don't know raj

我怎么知道拉杰

Maybe the comic book store doesn't have a bulletin board

没准是因为漫画书店没有布告栏

What's going on

在这干什么呢?

Shh shh hot girl in sheldon's office

嘘嘘谢尔顿办公室有个靓妹

Sheldon's office

在谢尔顿的办公室?

Is she lost

她是不是走丢了?

I don't think so

我认为不是

I followed her here from the parking lot

我从停车场就开始跟着她了

Maybe she's his lawyer

可能她是他的律师

Well she's free to examine my briefs

那她可以随时查看我的诉讼

Howard I know I'm disgusting

-霍华德 -我知道我很恶心

I should be punished by her

我应该被惩罚...被她惩罚

Oh look I did it again

看我还是这么恶心

That should do it

那样就差不多了

Thank you for coming by

麻烦你跑一趟

Hello

你们好啊

Oh hey buddy

嘿老弟...

"buddy "

"老弟..."?

Sorry I'm late

不好意思我来迟了

I'm working on a project that may take me up on the next space shuttle

我正在攻关一个项目可能要上下一次航天飞机了

How can you be late

为什么要说晚了呢?

I wasn't expecting you at all

我根本没想要你来

Nobody ever expects me

我总是神出鬼没

Sometimes you just look and

有时你只是看着看着就...

Bam howard wolowitz

霍华德·沃尔维茨驾到

Sheldon are you gonna introduce us

谢尔顿能介绍一下吗?

Oh all right uh this is missy

可以这是米茜

Missy this is leonard and rajesh and you've already met howard

米茜这是里奥纳德和拉杰你已经见过霍华德了

It's nice to meet you

很高兴见到你们

You too as well also

你也是也也是

Yeah

是

So how do you two know each other

你们两个是怎么认识的?

Oh he once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head

他的头可在我的胯下呆过9个月

Excuse me

啊?

She's my twin sister

她是我的孪生妹妹

She thinks she's funny but frankly I've never been able to see it

她以为自己很风趣但说实话我从来看不出

That's because you have no measurable sense of humor shelly

这是因为你根本无法衡量什么是幽默谢利(昵称)

How exactly would one measure a sense of humor

一个人要怎么衡量幽默?

A humormometer

幽默测量器?

Well I think you're delightfully droll

我觉得你非常得幽默

Ooor as the french say tres drole okay so let me see if I got this

-当然就像法语中 "你真有趣" -看我记不记得住

Leonard howard and

里奥纳德霍华德还有...

I'm sorry what was your name again

不好意思你叫?

Rajesh

拉杰

By aBu 201705

天才也性感第一季第15集

So missy what brings you all the way from texas

那么米茜你为什么从德州跑到这来?

Was it perhaps destiny I think it was destiny

是不是缘分? 我觉得是缘分

My friend's s getting married at disneyland tomorrow night

我朋友明晚在迪斯尼结婚

Destiny thy name is anaheim

缘分名字就叫做阿纳海姆市(美国南加州)

And I had to drop off some papers for shelly to sign for my dad's estate

我还过来让谢利在父亲的地产文书上签个字

The papers could've been mailed

文书可以邮寄的吧

Mom just sent you here to spy on me didn't she

妈让你来监视我没错吧

I guess that's why they call you a genius

我想这就是为什么他们要管你叫天才了

They call me a genius because I'm a genius

他们叫我天才是因为我确实是天才

Tell mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds

告诉妈我目前165磅

And that I'm having regular bowel movements

还有我的胃肠蠕动正常

Enjoy the wedding good bye

好好享受婚礼拜拜

If the wedding's not until tomorrow why don't you stay with us tonight

婚礼不是明天吗不如你今晚来我们这吧?

Oh I don't think so

我看行不通

Shelly doesn't like company

谢利不喜欢别人缠着他

Even as a little boy

即使是在他小时候

He'd send his imaginary friends home at the end of the day

他也会在晚上把假想的朋友送回家

They were not friends

他们不是朋友

They were imaginary colleagues

他们是假想的同事

Look you're here

你看你都来了

We have plenty of room

我们有很多房间的

No we don't

不我们没有

Come on shelly she's family

别这样谢利她是家人啊

So what I don't issue invitations to your mother

那又怎么样我都没有邀请你妈来

Well it would be nice not to have to drive to anaheim in rush hour

能不用在高峰时段开去阿纳海姆也不错啊

And don't ever call me shelly

再也不要叫我谢利

So it's settled You'll stay with us

就这么定了你住我们这儿

Yeah I'll walk you to your car

我带你去拿车

You're in structure 3 level c right

你车停在3区 c层没错吧

What just happened

这都是怎么一回事?

So anyway

反正

We're eight years old and sheldon converts my

我们8岁时谢尔顿把我的

Easy bake oven to some kind of high powered furnace

傻瓜式烤箱改装成了一种高能量熔炉

Just classic

太经典了

I needed a place to fire ceramic

我要做家用集成电路

Semiconductor substrates for homemade integrated circuits

需要一个可以融化半导体陶瓷基底的地方

He was trying to build some sort of

他当时想要造一个

Armed robot to keep me out of his room

武装机器人来把我赶出他的房间

Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room

要不是你一直闯进我的房间这也没必要

Anyway I go to make those little corn muffins they give you

还有我去做了些小的玉米蛋糕

There's a big flash

突然哗的一下

Next thing you know my eyebrows are gone

你醒来的时候眉毛就不见了

Not your eyebrows

你的眉毛?

Yep

是

I had to go through the entire second

然后我整个二年级都要

Grade with crooked eyebrows my mom drew on

顶着妈妈画的弯曲的假眉毛去上学

Is that what that was

是这样吗?

I just assumed that the second grade

我还以为是二年级的课程

Curriculum had rendered you quizzical

让你行为变得有些古怪

Hey leonard you left your underwear in the dryer downstairs

里奥纳德你短裤忘在楼下的干衣机里了

Those are not mine

那不是我的

Really

真的吗

They have your little name label in them

这里面有你名字的小标签啊

Yeah no I do i

对...不我...

I use those uh just to polish up my spearfishing equipment

我是用这来磨光我捕鱼用的鱼叉器材的

I spearfish

我用鱼叉捕鱼的

When I'm not crossbow hunting I spearfish

我不去用石弓打猎时我会去用鱼叉捕鱼

Uh penny this is sheldon's twin sister missy

潘妮这是谢尔顿的孪生妹妹米茜

Missy this is our neighbor penny don't look that much alike

-米茜这是我们的邻居潘妮 -你们看起来长得不像啊

Can I get a hallelujah

让我说声哈利路亚(赞美上帝)

Fraternal twins come from two separate eggs

异卵双生的双胞胎来自于两个不同的卵子中

They are no more alike than any other siblings

他们不像一般的同胞手足那样

Hallelujah

哈利路亚!

Hey guess what

你们知道不

I've been accepted as a test subject for a

我已经被接受做为试验体了

New miracle drug to overcome pathological shyness

测试一种治疗病态羞怯症的神奇新药

Oh good for you raj

那太好了拉杰

Yes I'm very hopeful hello missy

是我有希望了你好米茜

They mentioned there may be side effects

他们提到过可能会有副作用

So missy have you ever met a man from the exotic subcontinent of india

米茜你遇到过来自充满异域风情的印度次大陆的男人吗

Well there's dr patel at our church

有我们教堂的帕特尔医生

Ah yes patel good man

没错帕特尔他人不错

Do you like motorcycles

你喜欢摩托车吗

'cause I ride a hog

我有一台哈雷摩托(俚语指小弟弟)

A hog

哈雷?

You have a two cylinder scooter with a basket in the front

你那辆是两轮的踏板车前面还装个小篮子的

You still have to wear a helmet

你一样得带头盔吧

Have you ever heard of the kama sutra

你听说过伽摩经吗

The sex book

讲性爱的书

The indian sex book

是印度的性爱之书

In other words if you "wonder wonder who wrote the book of love

换句话说如果你好奇是谁写了这本关于爱的书

" it was us

是我们印度人

So sheldon's sister is pretty cute huh

谢尔顿的妹妹挺漂亮啊是吧

I wasn't staring

我没有盯着她看

I didn't say you were I just said she was cute

我没有说你在盯着她啊我只是说她挺漂亮

Oh eh maybe if you like women who are tall

可能吧如果你喜欢这么高...

And perfect

而且完美的

Sheldon why are you ignoring your sister

谢尔顿你怎么不理你妹妹啊

I'm not ignoring my sister I'm ignoring all of you

我没有不理我妹妹我是不理你们任何人

I brought snacks

这里有些小吃

Oh my gherkins and

哈腌黄瓜和..

Onion dip it's onion dip

洋葱酱这个是洋葱酱

We don't entertain much

我们不常招待人的

Missy

米茜

Do you enjoy pajamas

你喜欢穿睡衣吗

I guess

应该是吧

Yeah we indians invented them

太好了是我们印度人发明的睡衣

You're welcome

不客气

Yeah well my people invented circumcision

那这么说是我们犹太人发明了割礼

You're welcome

不客气

Missy I'm gonna go get my nails done

米茜我要去做指甲

Do you want to come

想一起去吗

God yes thanks

太好了我去谢谢你

You're welcome

不客气

Bye guys bye missy

-大伙再见 -再见米茜

Bye missy see you good bye leonard

-米茜再见 -再见里奥纳德

Oh yeah no uh bye penny

对...不...再见潘妮

Okay you two have to back off

听着你们俩给我闪开

Why should I back off you back off dude

我干吗要闪开你闪开伙计

Excuse me this is my apartment and she's my roommate's sister

不好意思这是我的房子她是我室友的妹妹

So what you've already got penny

那又怎么样你已经有潘妮了

How do I have penny

我怎么有潘妮了?

In what universe do I have penny

我到底哪门子有潘妮了?

So I can have penny

那我可以追她了?

Hell no

该死不行!

Excuse me can I interject something

抱歉我能插两句吗

I'm ordering pizza online

我正在线订一个披萨

Is everyone okay with pepperoni

意大利辣香肠你们都吃吧?

Sheldon can I talk to you in private

谢尔顿我能跟你单独谈一下吗

I guess

行啊

Don't worry I was going to order you cheese less

别担心我会点那种芝士少一点的

Thank you it's okay

-谢谢你 -没事

Lactose intolerance is nothing to be embarrassed about

不能吃乳糖不是什么丢脸的事

I'm a fancy indian man

我是梦幻印度情人

We invented pajamas

我们发明了睡衣

Hey look at me I don't have a foreskin

看我我没有包皮

Sheldon

谢尔顿...

Are you aware that your sister is an incredibly attractive woman

你难道没意识到你妹妹魅不可挡吗

She certainly has the symmetry and low

她确实有着西方文化所青睐的

Body fat that western culture deems desirable

既匀称而又低脂肪的身段

It's noteworthy at other points in history

这倒是值得注意的在历史上

Heavier women were the standard for

胖一些的女人象征着美丽

Beauty because their girth suggested affluence

因为她们的腰身意味着富饶

That's fascinating but

很令人着迷但...

I didn't say it was fascinating I said it was noteworthy

我没有说令人着迷我只是说值得注意

All right noted

好吧我注意到了

But my point is that koothrappali and wolowitz

我的意思是库萨帕里和沃尔维茨

They're hitting on your sister

他们在泡你的妹妹啊

Oh it's

这简直...

Oh okay

没事啊

You know I don't want to criticize your rhetorical style

我不想评价你说话的修辞手法

But we'd be a lot further along in this

但要是你能开门见山地说

Conversation if you'd begun with that thought

我们可能已经谈得很深了

That's great but my

-很好 -但是...

What I'm saying is that we took quite an Unnecessary detour

我要说的是我们拐了个不必要的弯

from what I now understand to be your thesis

因为现在我发现这才是你的论点

Whatever

又怎么了

You have to do something about it

你不能干坐着啊

Why

为什么

Because she's your sister

因为她是你妹妹

I don't understand

我不明白

Yes we shared a uterus for nine months

不错我们共同在一个子宫里待过九个月

But since then we've pretty much gone our own separate ways

但此后我们就你走阳关道我走独木桥了

Okay uh consider this

好吧那这么想吧...

With your father gone

你父亲去世之后

It is your responsibility to make sure that missy chooses a suitable mate

确保米茜能选择一位合适的伴侣就是你的责任了

I hadn't considered that

我倒没想过这个

We do share dna uh huh

我们确实有相同的DNA

So there is the possibility however remote

所以有这种可能尽管可能性不大

That resting in her loins is the potential

她的天赋可以创造另一个

For another individual as remarkable as myself

像我这样不平凡的人

Exactly

正是

And you owe it to yourself and to posterity to protect

并且你有责任替你自己和你子孙保留

The genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring

你妹妹所传后代遗传基因的完整性

You're right

你说的对

If someone wants to get at missy's fallopian tubes

如果有人想接近米茜的输卵管

They'll have to go through me

他们必须通过我

I am shiva the destroyer

我是摧毁者西瓦(游戏"怒之铁拳"中的BOSS)

I will have the woman

我会赢得这个女人

I'm warning you I was judo champion at math camp

警告你我可是数学夏令营的柔道冠军

All right now that's enough juvenile squabbling

好了你们幼稚够了吧

You stop it

给我停下

Stop it I say

我说给我停下!

I'm going to settle this right now

我现在就来处理这件事

Neither of you are good enough for my sister

你们中的任何一个都配不上我妹妹

Who are you to decide that

你是谁凭什么你决定?

He's the man of his family

他是这个家的男人

You have to respect his wishes

你们必须尊重他的意愿

You're out too by the way say what

-顺便说一句你也出局了 -你说什么?

It's nothing personal

我不是针对你

I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew

我只是更希望我将来的侄子或者侄女

Didn't become flatulent every time they ate an eskimo pie

不要成为那种每次吃到爱斯基摩派就会欢呼雀跃的人

What are you so happy about

你高兴个什么劲儿

I'm not happy

我不是高兴

It's the medication I can't stop smiling

药起作用了我停不下来

That leonard's made me aware of how high the genetic stakes are

里奥纳德让我意识到遗传基因的赌注有多大

We have to face the fact that none

我们必须面对现实

Of you are suitable mates for my sister

你们没有一个配得上我妹妹

Wait a minute

等一下

Leonard made you aware of that

是里奥纳德让你意识到的?

We all make mistakes let's move on

我们都会犯错换个话题吧

Excuse me but I think you're missing a big opportunity here

插一句不过我认为你错失了一个良机

How so

怎么说

Everybody knows genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring

每个人都知道基因多样化能创造出了不起的后代

Why not put a little mocha in the family latte

不如考虑在家庭的拿铁咖啡里放点穆哈调和一下

In principle you have a point

理论上你说的没错

But as a practical matter

但考虑到实际情况

Need I remind you that it takes experimental

允许我提醒你一下你都需要实验性药品

Pharmaceuticals to simply enable you to speak to the opposite sex

才能让你更容易开口跟异性说话

I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs

我觉得你把太多的焦点放在药物上了

Is it 'cause I'm jewish

是不是因为我是个犹太人?

'cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister

要知道为了和你妹妹在一起我愿意用猪排杀了我的导师

This has nothing to do with religion

这和你的宗教信仰无关

This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny

只是因为你还是个小男孩

Tiny man who still lives with his mother

一个仍和妈妈一起住的小男孩

Sheldon you are really being unreasonable

谢尔顿你真不讲道理

Am i

是吗

Here eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister

来吃了这片芝士能不放屁你就可以和我妹上床

Oh really

噢真的吗

Oops

靠

Shelly can I speak to you for a minute

谢利我可以和你说几句吗

Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone

为什么大家突然都想和我单独谈话

Usually nobody wants to be alone with me

通常没有人喜欢和我单独相处的呀

We all make mistakes let's move on

我们都会犯错换一个话题吧

Okay I'm not even going to ask why you're pimping me out for cheese

好吧我不想过问你为何为了区区芝士把我推销出去

But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with

不过你何时开始关心我和谁上床了?

Well truthfully I've never given it any thought

说实话我从来没有考虑过

But it has been pointed out to me that you carry dna of great potential

不过我后来意识到你身上带着潜在的DNA

What on earth are you talking about

你在说些什么鬼话

Let me explain

让我解释一下

You see I'm a superior genetic mutation uh

你知道的我是个优秀的遗传变异产物

An improvement on the existing mediocre stock

对现有的次品来说存在一个显著提高

And what do you mean "mediocre stock"

你说的"次品"是什么意思?

That would be you

就是指你

But residing within you is the potential for another me

不过在你身体里有一个潜在的我

Perhaps even taller smarter and less prone to freckling a sheldon 2 0

一个可能更高更聪明雀斑更少的谢尔顿2.0

if you will

可以这么称呼

"sheldon 2 0"

"谢尔顿2.0"?

Exactly

正是

Now

现在

I am not saying that I should be the sole decider of who you mate with

我不是说我要专横地决定你要和谁在一起

If you're not attracted to the suitor

如果你不被追求者吸引

Then the likelihood of conception will be reduced

那怀孕的可能性就会减少

You have got to be kidding me

你开什么玩笑

Not at all

完全没有

Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization

频繁性交会大大增加受精几率

Okay shelly sit down

好了谢利坐下

Now I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact that my twin

我花了一辈子时间去消化这一事实我的双胞胎哥哥

Brother is as mom puts it "one of god's special little people "

像妈妈所说是个"上帝赐予的特别的小孩"

I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird

我一直认为我更像一只布谷鸟

You know

你知道的

A superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds

一种把蛋放在普通鸟巢里的了不起的生物

Of course the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food

当然先孵化出的布谷鸟会吃掉所有的食物

Leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death

留下其他普通的兄弟姐妹们饿死

Luckily for you that's where the metaphor ended

你很幸运这就是我使用这比喻想要说的

I thought it ended at "cuckoo "

我还以为你是想说"布谷"

You listen to me

你听好

If you want to start acting like a brother who cares about me

如果你想做一个关心妹妹的好哥哥

Then terrific

那太好了

Bring it on

尽管来做

But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with

但只要你有一次想告诉我该和谁上床

And you and I are going to go round and

我就得跟你回顾回顾

Round the way we did when we were little

我们小时候的那种方式了

Remember

没忘吧?

I have an alternate proposal go on

-我有另外个提议 -说

You donate eggs

你捐出卵子

We will place them in cryogenic storage

我们把它放去低温储藏

I will find an appropriate sperm donor for your eggs

我会帮你的卵子找一个合格的精子

Have them fertilized and implanted in you

等他们完成受精后再植入你的体内

That way everybody wins

这样对每个人都好

Correction

更正下

Missy can date whoever she wants

米茜想跟谁约会不关我的事

Look we have to settle this

我们得想办法解决下

I agree

我同意

Sheldon's sister is hiding at penny's because

谢尔顿的妹妹躲在潘妮家里

We've all been hitting on her at the same time

是因为我们在同一时间向她发起攻击

She's not hiding

她才没躲呢

She needed privacy to call her grandmother who's apparently very sick

她得留点私人空间来打电话给她生病的奶奶

Oh and then I believe she has to wash her hair

我想她还得洗她的头发

Oh you poor deluded bastard

你这个傻混蛋

Don't start with me dude

别跟我来劲你这家伙

You want to go again let's go

你还想再来? 来啊

Sit down okay

-坐下 -好吧

If we're going to fight over missy let's do it the right way

如果我们想争米茜我们来好好地争

The honorable way

有尊严地争

Take that

吃我一拳!

You want some more

还想再来?

And he's down

他倒下了!

1 2 3

One, two, three...

Come on come on get up

来啊快起来啊

Stay down bitch

乖乖躺着吧婊子

9 10

...nine, ten.

Yeah natural selection at work

上帝的选择是正确的

I weep for humanity

为人类感到悲哀

Excuse me while I go tell missy the good news

失陪我得去告诉米茜这个好消息

Hey leonard oh hi penny

-好啊里奥纳德 -好啊潘妮

How's it going

还不错吧

Listen that guy mike that you were dating is that still going on

对了你约会的那个对象麦克现在还好着吗

Uh pretty much why

算是吧怎么了

Nothing just catching up

没事随便问问

By the way may I speak to missy please

顺便能让我跟米茜说几句吗

Of course

当然

Hi leonard what's up

好啊里奥纳德什么事

Well since you're leaving tomorrow

你明天就走了

I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me

我想能不能邀你一起吃顿晚饭?

That's so sweet

你人真好

But no thanks

但不用了谢谢

Oh do you have other plans or

你有其它安排还是...?

No oh

没有

All right uh

好吧

Enjoy the rest of your evening

祝你今晚过得愉快

Thanks see ya

谢谢再见

Um here's something we didn't anticipate

有点世事难料啊

What do you want howard

有什么能为你效劳的霍华德?

I'm fine thanks for asking

我很好多谢关心

I've come to call on missy

我来拜访下米茜

Missy

米茜

Hi howard

你好霍华德

The amazing howard

是神奇的霍华德

Do you like magic

喜欢魔术吗

Not really no

不喜欢

Then you are in for a treat

那你算是赚到了

Behold an ordinary cane

看好这是根普通的棍子

不

Okay

好吧

Missy

米茜

Thank you

谢谢

I apprec

很感...

Apprec

感...

Appreeee

感感感...

Oh honey

亲爱的

Is your medication wearing off

是不是你的药效退了?

Well hi cutie pie

你好开心果

I was hoping you'd show up

正想着你会出现呢

We had a dog who made a noise like that

我们家养过的一只狗就发这种声音的

Had to put him down

最后不得不弄死他

Any news you want me to pass along to mom

有什么要我跟妈说的吗

She might be interested to know that I have refocused my research

她可能会愿意知道我已经把研究重点

From bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory

从玻色弦论转到了杂交弦论

Yeah I'll just tell her you say "hey "

我就跟她说你向她问好吧

Okay well it was pleasant seeing you

很高兴能看到你

Other than that business with my testicles

除了你对我睾丸干的那事儿

Come on shelly

来吧谢利

I want you to know I'm very proud of you

我要你知道我很以你为荣

Really

真的?

Yep I'm always bragging to my friends about my brother

当然我经常跟我朋友们吹嘘我哥哥

The rocket scientist

是火箭专家(美国人对天才科学家的习惯称呼)

You tell people I'm a rocket scientist

你跟别人说我是火箭专家?

Well yeah

对啊

I'm a theoretical physicist

我是个理论物理学家

What's the difference

有什么区别

What's the difference

有什么区别?!

Good bye shelly

我走了谢利

My god

天呐

Why don't you just tell them that

你怎么不跟人家说

I'm a toll taker at the golden gate bridge

我是金门大桥那儿收通行税的啊?

Rocket scientist how humiliating

火箭专家多丢人啊