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I don't see anything at all Sheldon
我什么都没看到 谢尔顿
Well you're the doctor but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound
你是医生我听你的 但确实 老有烦人的声音在我耳边响
Me too
没错
Is it a high frequency whistle
是一种高频的口哨声吗
No it's more of a relentless
不 是一种时刻不停的
narcissistic drone
自以为是的唠叨
Yup there's no inflammation at all Sheldon
没有任何炎症 谢尔顿
Then it must be a tumor
那我肯定得肿瘤了
I Seriously doubt it
我深表怀疑
Maybe it's a lingering bacterial infection
也许是以前小时候常把头塞进马桶冲水
from all those childhood toilet swirlies
造成的永久性细菌感染
Is that possible I used to get those all the time
真的会这样吗 我以前经常这么干的
Even in church
甚至在教堂里
Well if it is from a swirly there something I can do
如果是因为这个的话 我倒有个办法
Okay circle circle dot dot
圈 圈 点 点
now you have a cootie shot
虱子不再烦扰你[美国儿歌]
I'm going to bed
我去睡觉了
Okay I'll be right in
好的 我马上就来
It's not enough that she mocks me but that isn't even
她不光是在嘲笑我 而且
the correct procedure for a cootie shot
把打预防针的流程也搞错了
Do you understand that Stephanie's not here
你知道斯蒂芬妮到这里来不是为了
to treat your imaginary ailments
帮你治疗你那些臆想的毛病吧?
How is it imaginary that I keep hearing an octave above Middle C
怎么可能是臆想 我老是听见一种高于中央C的八度音
Is that imaginary
这是臆想吗
I don't think so
我看不是
Good night
晚安
Leonard there's one more thing
莱纳德 还有件事
Under Article One Section Three of our Roommate Agreement
根据我们的合租协议第一章第三段
I'm calling an emergency meeting
我要召开一个紧急会议
No you're not
你不是吧
Leonard moves the meeting not occur
莱纳德提议不要开会
Is there a second None heard the motion fails
有人同意么 没有 提议不予采纳
I'd like to begin the meeting by congratulating you
在会议的开头 我想祝贺你
on the progress in your relationship with Dr Stephanie
和斯蒂芬妮医生恋情有了进展
Thank you
谢谢
That being said we have to discuss
那也就是说 我们必须讨论
the implementation of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider
对于"同居"附加条例的执行问题
whichas been activated now that
因为你们两人现在
the two of you are living together
已经住在一起了
We're not living together
我们没有啊
I beg to disagree
我有不同意见
"A girlfriend shall be deemed
某女性被认定为
quote living with un quote Leonard
跟莱纳德 前引号 同居 后引号
when she has stayed over for A ten consecutive nights
的时间条件是 第一 连续十晚
or B more than nine nights in three week period
或第二 三周之内超过九晚
or C all the weekends of a given month
或第三 一个月之内的所有周末
plus three weeknights
再加上三个非周末
That's absurd
这太荒唐了
You initialed it See L H L H L H
你自己都签名了 看 莱 莱 莱
Wait I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen
我签名的原因是因为 我觉得这些条例永远都用不上的
I initialed another clause
我还签了一条
naming you my sidekick in case I get superpowers
上面说如果我有超能力的话 就让你做我搭档
Hmm yes you did
是啊 没错
Now to review the following provisions are hereby activated
我们再来温故一下需要执行哪些条例
In the refrigerator as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf
在冰箱里 我们不能再使用 两个单人层和一个公用层了
the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal
现在我们三个人每人使用一层 然后冰箱门变作公用
Next apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week
下一条 房间清扫工作 应从每周两次增加为每周三次
to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells
以解决日益增加的死皮细胞
Third the bathroom schedule Now I'm given to understand
第三 厕所使用时间表 我了解到
women have different needs so we'll have to discuss that
女人对厕所的用法有所不同 所以我们应该讨论一下
I'm going to bed
我去睡觉了
At least take this with you
你至少也得把这带走吧
Look and have Stephanie initial here here here here
别忘了让斯蒂芬妮签名 这里 这里 这里
and here
还有 这里
This states that she does not now
这一条规定 从现在起她不能
nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument
也不准计划演奏打击乐器或者铜管乐器
Sure sounds like a tumor pressing on the auditory nerve
肯定是肿瘤 压迫听觉神经了
No absolutely not
绝对不行
It's not a big deal
这又没什么
We have latex gloves
我们有卫生手套的
I don't care what the symptoms are
我不管你出现了什么症状
my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam
我女朋友是不会帮你做前列腺检查的
Hi Sheldon
谢尔顿
Good morning Dr Stephanie
早上好 斯蒂芬妮医生
I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night
我想莱纳德昨晚肯定让你性福了吧
Sheldon we don't ask questions like that
谢尔顿 这种问题不能随便问的
I heard you ask it over and over
那我怎么总听到你在问啊
How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once
我只问一次怎么就错了
He did very nicely
他非常棒
See She's not offended
看见没 她不生气
And now you finally have an answer
而且你也得到结果了
Out of coffee Need coffee
没咖啡了 需要咖啡
Oh hello
你好
Hi Stephanie right
斯蒂芬妮 是吗
Uh huh And And And you are
是 你...你是
Penny I live across the hall
佩妮 我就住对门
I've heard a lot about you
我听说了你很多事情
Really Mm hmm
是吗
I haven't heard a thing about you
怎么没人跟我提起你啊
Leonard
莱纳德
Why haven't I heard a thing
为什么你从来都没跟我说起过
about this woman who lives across the hall
这个住在你对门的
and comes into your apartment in the morning in her underwear
喜欢早上跑这儿来的女人 还穿着内衣
She's heard about you because we're you know
她听说过你是因为
involved and you haven't heard about her because
你是我女朋友 而你没听说过她则是因为
I never slept with her I swear
我从没跟她上过床 我发誓
In Leonard's defense it wasn't for lack of trying
不过话说回来 这倒并不是因为莱纳德不想
Thank you Sheldon
谢谢你 谢尔顿
You're welcome Leonard
别客气 莱纳德
Look I'm just saying um
我的意思是
Penny is one of our many neighbors you know
佩妮是我们众多邻居中的一位
and in our building neighbors come and go it's very casual no dress code
在我们这幢楼里 邻居们进进出出 很随便的 不讲究穿着
In fact some mornings I'll just mosey down to the third floor
实际上 有好几天早上 我都是穿着睡衣
in my pajamas and have cereal with Mrs Vartabedian
荡到三楼瓦塔比蒂安太太家里跟她一起吃麦片的
Really
真的吗
I have never once been invited
我怎么从来都没被瓦塔比蒂安太太
to have cereal with Mrs Vartabedian
邀请去共进麦片的
She doesn't like you
她看你不爽
You have a gall bladder to remove and I have
你不是要去切除什么胆囊么
to get in the shower and Penny has clothes to put on so
我要去洗澡了 而佩妮要穿衣服了
Well it was very nice meeting you
很高兴能见到你
Nice to finally meet you too
我也很高兴终于见到你了
And I'll see you tonight
我们今天晚上见?
Okay bye bye
好的 再见
What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs Vartabedian
我到底做了什么事情 招惹到了瓦塔比蒂安太太
So that's Stephanie huh
那就是斯蒂芬妮啊
Why do I feel like I'm the one that just got the prostate exam
为什么我感觉我被做了前列腺检查
You know she seems very nice
她人挺好的
Oh she is She's terrific
没错 她太棒了
And she's proving to be a valuable roommate
真的是一位好室友
Roommate You guys are living together
室友? 你们住一起了?
Like hippies
想嬉皮士一样
We're not living together
我们没同居
Do I have to pull out the paperwork again
你还想看看那些条款吗
We're not living together
我们没同居
Are you sure
你确定吗
How could I not be sure
我怎么可能不确定
Well let's find out
我们试试就知道了
Don't you think if a woman was living with me
你觉得如果一个女人和我同居的话
I'd be the first one to know about it
我会意识不到么
Oh sweetie you'd be the last one to know about it
亲爱的 你肯定是那个最后知道的
Hmm cute dresses
很漂亮的衣服嘛
I bet this looks great on you
我打赌你穿这个会很好看
We're not living together
我们没有同居
Okay hmm
好吧
Scented candles fuzzy slippers
香氛蜡烛 毛毛拖鞋
Ooh Floral bed sheets
碎花床单
We're not living together
我们没有同居
Okay moving on
好吧 我继续
Now who are these guys at Disney World
迪斯尼乐园里这两位是谁呀
Uh the big dog is Goofy
那个大狗叫高飞
but the older couple with the mouse ears I have no idea
那两个戴米奇耳朵的大人我就不知道了
We're not living together
我们没有同居
You're going to go down swinging huh
还不承认嘛
All right well we got your body lotion
好吧 看看你的护肤乳液
your InStyle Magazine your jewelry box
你的瑞丽杂志 你的首饰盒
We're not
我们没有
Where's my Bat Signal
我的蝙蝠侠信号灯去哪了
You have a Bat Signal
你有一个蝙蝠侠信号灯
I did It was right here
我是有过 之前就放这了
She must've Oh my God we're living together
一定是她 天呐 我们是同居了
Really What was your first clue
真的吗 你是怎么发现的
New pants
新裤子
Yeah Sthanie got them for me
是啊 斯蒂芬妮买给我的
Nice Cotton
不错嘛 棉的
Actually I think it's more of wool fire ant blend
事实上 我觉得更像是羊毛和火红蚁的混合物
So the girlfriend's buying clothes for you huh
这么说你的女朋友替你买衣服啦
Sounds serious
很亲密嘛
It is actually
没错
In fact I gave it a lot of thought
事实上 我也想了很多
and I decided it was time for us to live together
我觉得我们是时候搬到一起住了
Ba Oh Leonard huge mistake
莱纳德 大错特错
There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just
外面的女人多的就像自助餐厅里的食物
standing in the corner eating the same deviled egg
你却站在角落里吃着同样的芥末蛋
over and over again
日复一日
At least I have an egg What do you have
至少我有鸡蛋吃 你有什么
A veritable smorgasbord of potential sexual partners
一打随意取用的潜在性伴侣
See the blonde over there
看到那个金发美女了吗
I can hit on her and you can't
我能去泡她你就不行
So go hit on her
去泡啊
She's not my type
她不是我喜欢的类型
Too bad 'cause she was checking you out before
真遗憾 她刚才还偷看你来着呢
She was
她有嘛
Of course not Look at her
当然没有 看看她
I don't care what you guys think
我不关心你们怎么想
Stephanie and I are very happy living together
斯蒂芬妮和我住在一起很开心
I will give either of you 20 dollars right now
我愿意给你们20块钱
to trade pants with me
你们谁能跟我换换裤子呀
Sheldon what are you doing here
谢尔顿 你跟这干嘛呢
Hang on
等下
130 over 80 A little high
高压130低压80 有点高
We can attribute that to the stress
可能是紧张的缘故
of sneaking past the security desk
因为我得悄悄溜过保安室
Where did you get the stethoscope
你哪来的听诊器呀
and the blood pressure cuff
还有这个血压袖带
My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday
我阿姨玛丽昂给我的12岁生日礼物
She thought if I failed at theoretical physics
她觉得如果我挂了理论物理
that I should have a trade to fall back on
得有个谋生的手艺
And by the way the blood pressure cuff
顺便说一下 那个血压袖带
is called a sphygmomanometer
叫做血压计
Thank you
谢谢
Didn't they teach you that in medical school
他们在医学院没有教过你吗
I'm kinda busy here Sheldon
我有点忙 谢尔顿
I understand
我了解
All I need is for you to authorize these tests
我就是需要你授权这些检查
A cardiac stress test a full body MRI
心脏负荷检查 全身磁共振成像
anlectromyogram a CBC baseline glucose
肌电图 全血细胞计数 葡萄糖基线
Upper GI
上消化道
Oh and an exploratory laparoscopy
还有腹腔镜检查
Last time I had hiccups it felt like my diaphragm
上次我打嗝了 感觉像是我的隔膜
was just going through the motions
在向我示意
Go home Sheldon
回家吧 谢尔顿
Can I at least have the upper GI
至少给我做个上消化道检查吧
I already drank the barium
我都已经喝了钡水了
Oh good Do you have any fabric softener
太好了 你有衣服柔顺剂嘛
Yeah sure
有啊
What are you washing A crocodile
你洗什么呢 洗鳄鱼呐
No the pants that Stephanie got me
不是 是斯蒂芬妮买给我的裤子
Oh sweetie you can't machinwash these
亲爱的 这种裤子不能机洗的
They'll be ruined
洗了就毁了
Are you sure Absolutely
-真的吗 -没错
Oh no I wish you'd told me that sooner
不要吧 你早点告诉我就好了
Are you guys having problems
你们有什么状况么
No everything's fine
我们都很好啊
Really
真的么
Yeah It's wonderful
是啊 很好啊
Okay maybe this whole living together
好吧 可能住在一起这件事
happened kind of suddenly but it's fine it's great
发生得太快了 但没有问题的 挺好的
Okay Leonard honey you know
好吧莱纳德 亲爱的你知道
if you're uncomfortable with the way things are going
如果你对于你们的关系感到不自在了
you're allowed to say something
你是可以讲出来的
Are you sure That doesn't sound right
真的么 听起来不大对劲
Believe me your feelings are just as important as hers
相信我 你的感受和她的一样重要
No that doesn't sound right either
这个听起来也不对劲
Just tell her you need the relationship to move
就直接告诉她你想要
at a pace that you both are comfortable with
慢慢来
Yeah I could say something like that to her
好吧 我可以这么和她说
I'll go do that
我这就去说
Thank you
谢了
Sure
没事
You have a really good grasp on this
你很擅长这个嘛
Maybe you could talk to her
你和她谈谈是不是更好
You're kidding right
你开玩笑呢吧
No but that's okay
没有 不过没关系
I'll go talk to her
我去和她谈
Want to come with
你想和我一起去嘛
Go
快去
Oh no
不是吧
Whaa
怎么咧
You were right Your larynx is terribly inflamed
你说对了 你嗓子发炎了
I mean I've never seen anything like it
我是说 我从来没见过更糟糕的了
I knew it
我就知道
What do I do
我该怎么办
You're going to need to stop talking immediately
你必须马上停止说话
For how Dut dut dut
要多久
Immediately
现在开始
Hey Oh hi honey
亲爱的
Sheldon
谢尔顿
What's going on
出什么事了
I just performed a "Sheldonectomy "
我刚给他来了个谢尔顿切除手术
Careful if you don't get it all it'll only come back worse
小心点 如果没痊愈 下次会更厉害
Gotcha
知道了
Listen we need to talk
听着 我们得谈谈
Do we need to talk or "do we need to talk"
我们谈谈吧 还是我们得谈谈
I don't know what that means
你说什么呢
Okay why don't you just tell me what it is you have to tell me
好吧 你为什么不直接告诉我 你想要告诉我什么
Okay um well look it's just that
好的 那个 就是
things between you and me have been going pretty quick
你我的进展太快了
And
然后捏
It's just a little scary
我有点怕怕
Well yeah but scary good right
又惊又喜那种对吧
Sure
当然
When is scary not good
怕怕什么时候不是又惊又喜呢
But okay um I have feelings right
但是 我也有感受的对吧
Okay and it's perfectly okay
好的 那么我表述我的感觉
to express those feelings right
应该没有关系对吧
Of course honey why don't you tell me what it is you're feeling
当然 亲爱的你为什么不 告诉我你的感受呢
Okay well I ju I think it's important to remember
好的 我就是觉得我们得
that we move at a pace that is our speed
按照我们的步调前进
and Oh shoot I had it
囧 我背下来的
Okay how about this
好吧 这样如何
How about I tell you what I'm feeling
让我说说我的感觉如何
What's that
怎么了
Really Right now
真的假的 现在吗
Why not
为什么不
I just ate aren't you supposed to wait an hour
刚吃了饭的 饭后不是不能剧烈运动吗
I think that's for swimming
是不能游泳吧
Oh okay
好吧
I just hope I don't get cramps
我就希望我不会抽筋就行了
Oh I put your clothes in the dryer
我把你的衣服放到烘干机里了
Thank you
谢谢
Your pants are ruined Good
-你的裤子毁了 -太好了
So how did the talk with Stephanie go
你和斯蒂芬妮谈的如何
Well um on one level really really well
某种意义上讲 谈得超好
So you told her you wanted to slow things down
你告诉她你想慢点来啦
Not specifically
没有讲得这么明确
but uh I did tell her that I had feelings
不过我的确告诉她了我的感受
Good good And then what
很好嘛 然后呢
And then uh the subject got changed somehow
然后啊 主题就变了
You had sex didn't you
你们上床啦 对吧
Um little bit
上了一小下
What
什么
Nothing
没什么
Okay well it sounds like things are going to work out
好吧 听起来进展顺利
Yeah it's all good
是啊 都很好
Everything's going to work out
所有问题都会化解
One way or another
不管是怎么化解的
come on Leonard
拜托 莱纳德
You are entitled to try and make things go the way you want them to
你有权利试着 让事情按照你喜欢的方式来
Really Yes
-真的吗 -是的
You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants
你不一定总是要顺着女人的意思
What
什么
Nothing Just rethinking my whole life
没什么 就是在重新思考我的整个人生
Okay here's the thing
好吧 事情是这样的
I'm afraid that if I ask her to move out she'll just dump me
我害怕如果我要她搬出去 她会甩了我
Well it's a chance you have to take
那你就得冒这个险
I mean look if it's meant to be it'll be
我是说 如果注定要这样 躲也躲不过
Very comforting
真会安慰人
Okay so what do I say to her
好吧 我怎么和她说
I don't know
我不知道
I mean what have women said to you when they wanted to slow a relationship down
我的意思是别的女人想要和你慢慢来 她们是怎么说的
I really like you but I want to see how things go with Mark
我真的很喜欢你 但我想看看和马克会怎样
Yeah that'll slow it down
是 那倒是可以让你们的关系慢下来
I'm sorry I totally interrupted you
抱歉 我打断你了
What were you saying
你刚才说什么来着
Oh right yeah um
对 恩
So Stephanie here's the thing
斯蒂芬妮 是这样的
I really like you
我真的很喜欢你
Oh God here comes the speech
噢 天哪 你要说那番话了
What speech
什么话
"I really like you
我真的很喜欢你
"but maybe we should spend a little less time together
但我们或许相处的时间应该再少一点
"'cause I need my space but I'll call you on Tuesday"
因为我想要有一点私人空间 但我会周二打电话给你的
and then you never call me so I call you but you don't call me back
接着你再也不会打电话给我了 所以只能我打给你 但你不会回我
and then when I run into you at the coffee shop
接着当我某天在咖啡馆遇见你
you pretend like you've been having problems
你假装你的语音信箱
with your voice mail and I know that you're lying
好像坏了 但我知道你是在撒谎
but I pretend like I don't care even though I'm dying inside
但我假装不在乎 即使在心里我已经想死你了
No
不是的
No no I wasn't going to say any of that
不 不是的 我不会那样说的
I was just going to say
我刚才是想说
I really like you
我是真的很喜欢你
Oh good
噢 太好了
'Cause I really like you too
因为我也真的很喜欢你
Terrific
棒极了[同义:太糟了]
Hey
Hey Hey
-嘿 -嘿
nice sweater
毛衣挺不错的嘛
Yeah Stephanie got it for me It's kind of fun
恩 斯蒂芬妮给我买的 这衣服挺有趣的
It's got a big bird on it dude
上面有一只大鸟诶 老兄
Yeah yeah that's the fun part
是 是的 这就是它有趣的地方嘛
We're also getting new curtains for my bedroom
我们还把我的卧室换了新窗帘
and a dust ruffle and a duvet
还有一个新床罩 和一床羽绒被
and I don't even know what a duvet is
而我甚至都不知道羽绒被是什么东西
but I'm pretty sure if I did I wouldn't want one
但我敢肯定不会是我想要的
but every time I talk to her about moving out
但我每次和她说搬出去住的事情
she cries and we have sex
她就哭起来然后和我做爱
You're lucky With me it's usually the other way around
你真幸运 和我在一起 通常会是另一种结果
You know if you can't talk to her why don't you just text her
你知道吗 如果你不忍心当面说 为什么不发短信跟她说呢
Isn't that kind of cowardly
不觉得这有点像懦夫的行为吗
Oh yeah It's beyond contemptible
哦 是的 但总比被欺骗好吧
It's true but on the other hand you are wearing a bird sweater
是的 但是另一方面你正穿着一件有鸟的毛衣
Sold
同意
"I think it would be better for our relationship if you moved back to your place "
我想这会使我们的关系更好 如果你搬回你的地方去住
There It's done
看 搞定了
Good for you
你真棒
Yeah good for me I'll never have sex again
是的 我真棒 我再也不能享受到性爱了
I was wrong See ya
我错了 回头见
Penny
佩妮
Penny
佩妮
Penny
佩妮
Sheldon
谢尔顿
COMPUTER I have an inflamed larynx
我喉咙发炎了
Okay
什么事啊
COMPUTER We're out of herbal tea Do you have any
我们的药草茶喝完了 你有吗
Okay let me check
好的 让我找找啊
COMPUTER Some hiney would be nice too
有肛门也不错
Hiney
肛门[肛门的俚语 较粗俗 但也很流行]
COMPUTER Honey
是蜂蜜