生活大爆炸-S06E12_生活大爆炸

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Well I must say Leonard

莱纳德我不得不承认

when I first heard your idea for Giant Jenga

你一开始提出巨型层层叠的主意时

I was skeptical

我是持怀疑态度的

I can't blame you

这不能怪你

Tiny Twister was a complete bust

上次的迷你版扭扭乐就烂爆了

No I was wrong

但我这次错了

The looming threat of

顶着可能会

being crushed under a pile of lumber

被一堆木头压死的风险玩

does add a certain spice

让游戏带感了不少

I've never felt so alive

连人都精神起来了

Oh hello Alex

你好啊艾利克斯

Uh let me go get you last night's recordings

我去拿昨晚的录音给你

What recordings

什么录音

Well you remember when you told me I talk in my sleep

还记得你跟我说过我会说梦话吗

Well it occurred to me that like most things I say

然后我想到梦话跟我平时说的话一样

it's probably pure gold

含金量也应该超高的吧

So I started recording it all

所以我开始录音

and now Alex gets to comb through eight hours

而现在艾利克斯得好好梳理下

of what I like to call "Sheldon After Dark "

我称为"谢家午夜论坛"的八小时长节目

Hey Leonard Hey

-你好吗莱纳德 -好啊

Just playing a little Giant Jenga here

我在玩巨型层层叠呢

Oh I know I'm the one who had to buy him the helmet

我知道啊那顶安全帽就是我买的

So do you have any plans this weekend

这周末你有什么安排吗

Well most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out

周六估计大多数时间得花在思考

where to put this game when we're done

这玩具玩完后收哪里

How about you

你呢

Oh I'm gonna go see Kip Thorne

我要去听基普·索恩博士的

give a lecture on subatomic space time

亚原子时空讲座

That's his take on John Wheeler's quantum foam

他会讲述对约翰·惠勒的量子泡沫看法

That should be great

应该会很精彩

Well if you want you can come with me

有兴趣可以跟我一起去啊

Ah I'd love to but I'm supposed to hang out with Penny

我也想啊可是我跟佩妮有约了

Well bring her

带上她嘛

Well she's not really into that kind of stuff

她对这类事情没什么兴趣

Yeah okay

那好吧

Well if you want to hear about the lecture

那之后你对讲座内容有兴趣

I can tell you all about it at work

我可以上班时跟你说

or you know over dinner sometime

或者... 共进晚餐时跟你说哦

What

什么

Jenga I win

你弄倒啦我赢了

第六季第十二集

生活大爆炸

Oh come on that can't be true

拜托才不可能呢

I did the research Tony the Tiger

我真查过了托尼老虎

Dig'em the Frog Cap'n Crunch

青蛙克朗奇船长

Toucan Sam Count Chocula

巨嘴鸟山姆吸餐鬼伯爵

Trix the Rabbit Snap Crackle and Pop

崔克斯兔卜卜米三兄弟

Not one cereal mascot is a girl

所有谷类早餐吉祥物都是男生

It's a total breakfast sausage fest

谷物早餐界完全"基肠""露露"啊

Are we done with this

说完了吗

Almost Franken Berry Boo Berry

快了红莓怪人蓝莓鬼鬼

Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee

糖糖熊蜜果圈圈蜂

I believe his name is Buzz

他的名字是叫巴兹[嗡嗡声]吧

Terrific

很好很好

Something weird happened and I don't know what to do about it

发生了一件怪事我不知道该怎么办

What's going on

怎么了

Sheldon's assistant asked me on a date last night

谢尔顿的助理昨晚约我

How could you do that to me

你怎么可以这么对我

You know I've been working it with Alex for weeks

你明知道我泡她好一阵子了

Working it You can't even talk to her

你怎么泡人家你连说话都不敢

I talk with my eyes

我用眼神跟她交流

You look like my little cousin

我那个小表弟

when he's dropping one in his diaper

在尿布里拉屎时就这眼神

She knows I have a girlfriend

她都知道我有女朋友了

It's so weird

真是太神奇了

Oh my God You're loving this

天啊你居然还暗爽

To my bones

暗爽到爆啊

I mean I'm not gonna do anything about it I love Penny

我当然是不可能会对她下手啦我爱佩妮

It's just nice to have a young attractive woman

只是有个年轻貌美的女性

sniffing around the goods

对我有意思也很不错嘛

I both hate you and want to be you

我又恨你又想当你

This is Ryan Gosling all over again

瑞恩·高斯林的事又重演了

Aw gentlemen

各位同志

What is on the conversational menu this morning

今早的聊天话题选项有什么呢

Leonard stole my woman and he knew full well

莱纳德抢了我的妞他明明知道

I was only six to eight months away from making my move

我只差六到八个月就要对她展开攻势了

I didn't steal anyone

我才没抢走谁呢

Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk

你的助理明摆着对他有意思

and he loves it

他还暗爽

Well that's not acceptable

这样可不行

I'm her boss

我是她的老板

She needs to be solely focused on my needs

她只能关注以及满足我的需求

not distracted by your pasty

不该被你苍白无力

androgynous brand of sexuality

雌雄难辨的弱鸡阳气吸引

I'm androgynous

我怎么雌雄难辨了

Oh please Look at you

拜托哦你也不看看

with your pouty bee stung lips

你那爱撅起的腊肠嘴

What do you guys think I should do

你们觉得我该怎么回应她

I say you tell Alex your heart belongs to Penny

我觉得你应该告诉她你只爱佩妮

I provide her a shoulder to cry on

然后我借肩膀给她哭诉

and then roughly half a year later I give it to her good

然后差不多半年后我就能给她"来一发"了

I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice

我要感谢你们能这么快就赶过来

Uh in the past I've reached out

过去呢我曾与在座各位

to each of you individually

有过单独请益的时刻

but I believe my present situation

但这次我觉得这次的情况

requires the collective wisdom of the group

需要你们一起共同集思广益

which as you can see from your commemorative T shirts

想必你们从纪念T恤上也能看得出

I have dubbed

我标注上了

Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies

谢尔顿·库伯姐妹顾问团

What is happening

发生什么事了

I need your advice about a delicate workplace situation

我需要你们为一件敏感的职场关系给意见

Uh to protect those involved

为了保护当事人隐私

I'll be changing their names

我会替他们取假名

Who's involved

当事人有谁啊

Well a short bespectacled colleague of mine

我的一个活在他绝顶聪明的

who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate

室友光环之下的四眼鸡矮子同事

Let's call this colleague Ricardo Shilly Shally

这叫他"里卡多·谢利沙力"吧

You're talking about Leonard

你是在说莱纳德

No no Shilly Shally has red hair

不不谢利沙力有一头红发

and uh he briefly served in the Mexican Navy

他曾在墨西哥海军短期服役过

Anyway despite the fact that he has a girlfriend

虽然他已经有一个女朋友

Shilly Shally has been the recipient

谢利沙力是遭年轻女性

of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady

对他做不适宜的职场调戏的受方

It's your assistant Alex isn't it No

-攻方就是你的助理艾利克斯吧 -不对

Not No This is Tondelaya Della Ventimiglia

才不是是唐德莱娅·德拉·文蒂米利亚

Wait what the hell's going on with Leonard and Alex

等等莱纳德跟艾利克斯到底是怎么回事

I'm sorry Who's talking about Leonard and Alex

抱歉谁在说莱纳德和艾利克斯啊

Fine Ricardo and Tondelaya

好吧是里卡多和唐德莱娅

Okay look it's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya

其实我要说的重点不是里卡多和唐德莱娅

It is really about her boss

而是唐德莱娅的博士老板

who doesn't quite know how to handle this situation

他不知道该如何处理这种情况

and could use your advice

所以需要你们给出主意

which is surprising because Dr Einstein Von Brainstorm

这有些反常因为爱因斯坦·冯·集思广益博士

He's usually pretty smart about these things

向来很会处理这种情况

I'm gonna kill her

我要杀了她

I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about

我相信你没什么好担心的

Leonard would never cheat on you

莱纳德绝对不会背叛你

She's right

她说得对

But say the word I got a lab

但只要你开口我有满满

full of cocaine addicted monkeys with nothing to lose

一实验室不怕死的毒瘾疯猴随时听候差遣

One of them could end up in the backseat of her car

可以扔一个进她的汽车后座

Or her shower

或是她的浴室

Ladies ladies please

女士们女士们拜托

We're not here to talk about Penny okay

我们不是来这里讨论佩妮的好吗

We're here to talk about me

我们是来讨论我的

Uh I mean Einstein Von Brainst Oh darn it

我是说爱因斯坦·冯·集思... 我靠

All right I guess the cat's out of the bag

好吧说溜嘴了

Let me explain what's going on

那我就来解释下发生了什么事吧

Ricardo is really Leonard

里卡多其实是莱纳德...

We know what's going on Sheldon

我们知道发生了什么事谢尔顿

Well what should I do

那我应该怎么做

Well Alex is your employee

艾利克斯是你的员工

If she's doing something that's making Leonard uncomfortable

如果她做出一些让莱纳德觉得不舒服的事

you should talk to her

那你应该跟她谈谈

Oh no he's not uncomfortable at all

不他才没有不舒服呢

No he's loving it

他暗爽死了好吗

Yeah he's strutting around like he's five foot six

对啊他趾高气昂地好像自己有两米那么高

What He's loving it

什么他很暗爽

Sheldon you need to talk to Alex right away

谢尔顿你得马上跟艾利克斯谈谈

Talk to her That's all you've got

谈谈就只有这种建议啊

With a cool name like Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies

"谢尔顿·库伯姐妹顾问团"的名字这么牛气

I really expected more

我本来期望很高呢

Give me back the T shirts

把T恤还我

Alex

艾利克斯

check my schedule

查下我的日程表

What does my afternoon look like

今天下午我有什么安排

I think it's pretty wide open

我记得好像没有任何安排

Oh wait Here's something at 4 00

慢着四点有安排

"Give Alex a talking to"

"跟艾利克斯谈谈"

Well that snuck up on us didn't it

这安排真是悄无声息出人意料啊

Is there a problem

有什么问题吗

Let's not call it a problem

那其实不叫问题

Let's call it an opportunity

我们应该称其为"机会"

To solve a serious problem

一个解决严重问题的机会

What did I do

我做错什么了

You don't know Oh you poor dear

你不知道吗可怜的小宝贝

Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice

你的卵巢把太多愚蠢分泌物

into your brains you don't even know which way is up

都送到你脑子害你人都傻了

You made an inappropriate sexual advance

你对霍夫斯塔德博士做出

towards Dr Hofstadter What

-不恰当的性企图 -什么

I didn't make a sexual advance on anybody

我没有对任何人做任何性企图

Now there's no need to get defensive

别这么快就开始激动辩解

I'm not unsympathetic to your plight

我对你的情况表示同情

My father used to say that a woman

我的父亲过去常说女人就像

is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day

德州温暖天气中的鸡蛋沙拉三明治

What

什么意思

Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time

鸡蛋[卵子]满满诱惑短短[容易坏]

This conversation is making me uncomfortable

这次谈话让我觉得很不舒服

Yeah you and me both sister

不止你我也是妹妹

Now

现在

please understand

请你明白

I don't hold you responsible for your behavior

你的行为我并不觉得是你的错

because see from an evolutionary standpoint

因为从进化的角度看

you're a slave to your desire to reproduce

你不过是自身繁殖欲望的奴隶

But during the work day

但在工作时间

when you feel possessed by amorous intent

当你觉得自己有求欢的意图时

may I suggest that you suppress it

我能否建议你

by leafing through this illustrated book

通过翻阅这本性传播疾病的绘本

of sexually transmitted diseases

来抑制住你的欲望

Let's see here Oh yes

我们看一下就这页

Check out this oozy doozy

你看看这张小恶心图片

I have to go

我要走了

So does this fellow

这位仁兄也是

but he can't without it burning like hot soup

但他走不了他那里就跟热汤那样烧得慌

Hey pretty lady

嗨美女

Oh you seem extra happy

你看起来格外开心啊

Uh I guess I am

应该是吧

Any particular reason why

有什么特别的原因吗

Mm I don't know just having a good day

不知道就是今天过得还不错

This morning Sheldon fell asleep on the way to work

早上谢尔顿在去上班的路上睡着了

so I got to listen to the radio

所以我有机会听广播

that was pretty crazy

好疯狂的一早

Anything else

还有别的吗

I found this quiz online called

我在网上发现一个小测试

"Which Star Trek Character Are You "

名叫"测测你是星际迷航中的谁"

and it only took me four tries to get Captain Kirk

我测了四次终于测到柯克船长[角色]

That's great

很好啊

Oh It Was

的确如此

Well I'm glad you're having such a great day

很高兴你今天过得这么开心

And the one thing that could make it even better

还有一件让我更开心的事就是

is an evening with my special girl

晚上要跟我特别的姑娘约会

Oh and who's that

哪一个啊

What do you mean

这话什么意思

Oh I just didn't know if you meant me or Alex

我不知道特别的姑娘是指我还是艾利克斯

Um why would I mean Alex

为什么会指艾利克斯

Because I know she hit on you

因为我知道她对你有意思

and I know you liked it

而且我还知道你很暗爽

What

哪里...有

Don't play dumb with me Ricardo Shilly Shally

别跟老娘装傻里卡多·谢利沙力

I'm missing something

我是不是漏了什么事

Did you say something to Penny about Alex

你是不是跟佩妮说了艾利克斯的事

Oh yes Yeah and a fat lot of good it did me

没错而且还得到了"很多帮助"呢

All she did was get mad at you

"帮助"就是她光顾着生你的气了

Why would you do that

你为什么要这样做

I needed advice about a woman

我需要关于女人的建议

I would have asked you

我本来可以问你的

but if the last few years have proven anything

但要说过去几年证明了什么

it's that you can't tell a uterus from a unicycle

那就是你连子宫和独轮车都分不清

At least I know not to blab to a girl

至少我知道随便对女生透露

about somebody flirting with her boyfriend

有人追她男友是不对的

Good to know

知道这个太好了

Yeah a few more helpful hints like that

你再多说点这类的金玉良言

you may find yourself on the Council of Ladies

就可以名正言顺地加入姐妹顾问团了

Hello

你好

I see

这样啊

Uh what time

几点

Very well then

好的

That was the Human Resources Department at the university

是学校的人事部打来的

Apparently my assistant Alex has filed a complaint

我的助理艾利克斯居然投诉了我

accusing me of inappropriate behavior in the workplace

说我在办公场所有不当行为

Oh my God what did you do

老天啊你做了什么

Hmm let me think

我回忆一下

Nothing I'm a delight

没什么啊我超萌超有爱的

Human Resources Department

人事部

Human Resources Department

人事部

Human Resources Department

人事部

Come in

请进

Hello

你好

Ah Dr Cooper have a seat

是你啊库珀博士请坐吧

Thank you

谢谢

I called you in today because your assistant

我今天叫你来是因为你的助理

Alex Jensen has lodged a complaint against you

艾利克斯·詹森投诉了你

So I've been told

我听说了

But I can't understand what she has to complain about

但我不明白她有什么可抱怨的

I mean she has a front row seat as I make scientific history

她处在见证我改写科学界历史的最前线

There's string cheese in my mini fridge

我的迷你冰箱里随时备有奶酪棒

and that's for anyone

大家都可以享用

Yeah and just yesterday

而且就在昨天

I led her away from a life of sexual promiscuity

我向她展示染上妇科病的生殖器图片

by making her look at pictures of disease ridden genitalia

指引她走出了淫乱的歧途

Cancel my next appointment

取消下一位的面谈

This is gonna take a while

这位估计得耗点时间

Dr Cooper

库珀博士

you said things to your employee

你对你的下属

that you just cannot say in the workplace

说了在职场上不应该说的话

Like what

比如什么

Well according to Ms Jensen

据詹森女士说

you said that she was a slave to her biological urges

你说她是自己生理需求的奴隶

and called her an "egg salad sandwich "

并且称呼她为"鸡蛋沙拉三明治"

I don't even know what that means

虽然我不知道那是什么比喻

but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you you can't say it

但我告诉你说那种话是不行的

Oh I see the confusion here

我明白怎么会有误会了

No no Alex thought I was singling her out No

艾利克斯以为我在针对她不是这样的

I meant that all women

我的意思是所有女人

are slaves to their biological urges you know

都是自己生理需求的奴隶

Even you

你也一样

You're a slave

你是个奴隶

I'm a what

我是什么来着

Well y you I I'm just saying you know

我的意思是

at a certain point in a woman's menstrual cycle

在女性生理周期的某一时刻

Whuh ah

停停停

You can't talk about that either Dr Cooper

这也是你不能谈论的库珀博士

Your language is entirely inappropriate

你的语言非常不恰当

and I'm gonna advise that you shut your mouth right now

我建议立刻给我闭嘴

I d I don't see why I'm the one being persecuted here

我真不明白被指责的怎么会是我

Dr Hofstadter he was bragging about

霍夫斯塔德博士每抓到一个听众

his sexual desirability to anyone who would listen

他就要炫耀自己有多风靡女性万千

You know and Howard Wolowitz

还有霍华德·沃罗威茨

he spent two years using university resources

他花了两年时间利用学校的资源

building a six breasted sex robot

制造了一个六乳性爱机器人

And at the office Christmas party

我还在部门的圣诞派对里

I heard Rajesh Koothrappali

听到拉杰什·库萨帕里

refer to you several times as "brown sugar "

好几次称你为"棕糖美妞"

Hofstadter

霍夫斯塔德

Wolowitz

沃罗威茨

and the last one was Rajesh Koothrappali

最后一个是拉杰什·库萨帕里

Yes

是的

No yeah but in his defense

对但我得为他澄清一下

that wasn't racist

他不是对你有种族歧视

He's also brown

他也是棕皮肤人种

Sorry Alex hit on me

抱歉艾利克斯喜欢我

Hit on me

喜欢我

Hit on me

喜欢我

Sorry Alex hit on me

抱歉艾利克斯喜欢我

I'd no idea I'm cute

我不知道自己很讨喜

Oh damn it you are

可恶你确实讨喜

Please forgive me

原谅我吧

I should have told you about Alex

我应该早点告诉你艾利克斯的事

I don't care about Alex

我不在乎她

Fine I care

好吧我在乎

Okay I hate that bitch

好吧我讨厌那小贱人

But what really hurt is that you liked it so much

但你竟然那么暗爽太让我难过了

I mean do I need to be worried

我需要担心你变心吗

Of course not No Why

当然不用啦担心什么啊

Because she is pretty and smart

因为她又漂亮又聪明

and when you talk about work she doesn't have to go home

你们要是谈论工作的东西她不必跑回家

and look up words in the dictionary to understand what you said

翻翻字典才能理解你在说什么

You do that No

-你会那样做啊 -才不会

Hang on Are you feeling insecure

等一下你是没有安全感吗

Because that's my thing

那可是我专属的事

and if you take it away

要是你把这个活抢走了

I don't know what I'm bringing to this relationship

那我们的关系之中我就贡献不出东西了

Yes Leonard I am insecure

对莱纳德我没安全感

Happy No

-开心吗 -不

I'm not happy

不开心

Why are you smiling I'm sorry

-那你干嘛笑 -对不起嘛

I just never think of you having feelings like that

我从没想过你会有这种感觉

Well I do Why

-我有的 -为什么呢

Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Alex

我和艾利克斯绝对没可能

Good

很好

Come here

过来

I'll tell you a secret What's that

-告诉你个秘密吧 -什么

With all these women chasing me

有这么多姑娘追我

I kind of do feel like Captain Kirk

我觉得自己好像柯克船长

Can I tell you a secret Sure

-我也能说个秘密吗 -当然

Keep talking about Captain Kirk

继续说什么柯克船长吧

and we're all gonna stop

估计我们撑得过今天撑不过明天

Message received

信息已收到[模仿柯克船长]

Ah excuse me

不好意思

Hello

你好

This is Dr Hofstadter

我是霍夫斯塔德博士

Okay

好的

All right thank you

知道了谢谢

That's weird

奇了怪了

I'm getting called in to Human Resources

人事部叫我过去一趟

What did you do

你做了什么了

I don't know

我不知道

I just got called in to Human Resources

人事部刚刚叫我过去一趟

Why I don't know

-为什么 -不知道

That is so strange

真是太奇怪了

Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow

人事部叫我明天过去一趟

Could you stop licking your ass for two minutes

你能不能停下"孤菊自舔"两分钟啊

I have a problem here

老子现在有麻烦

Do you really think you should be drinking right now

你真觉得现在是喝酒的好时机吗

How else am I supposed to talk to the Human Resources lady

不然我等会怎么回答人事部小姐的问题

I don't know Seek professional help

不知道看心理医生怎么样

I did The guy at the liquor store said

我有啊酒类专卖店的人说

this stuff tastes great in coffee

这玩意配咖啡口感不错

Wait you got called in too

等下你也被召来了吗

What is going on

出什么事了

Sheldon threw us all under the bus

谢尔顿把我们都拉来陪葬了

I feel like I've been called down to the principal's office

我感觉自己像是见校长的坏学生

Although I wouldn't mind if Brown Sugar suspended me

不过我可不介意被"棕糖美妞"打屁屁

From a sex swing

还是在性爱秋千上打哦

This may have been a mistake

喝酒可能是个错误决定

Relax Everything's gonna be fine

放轻松没事的

You know before I met Bernadette

要知道在我碰到伯纳黛特前

I was in here every other day

我是这里三天两头报到的常客

Uh little tip

友情提示下

turn off your "I Like Big Butts" ringtone before you go in

进去前先把"我喜欢大屁妞"的铃声调成静音

Well this is all your fault

这都是你的错

How is this my fault

怎么成我的错了

If you weren't screwing around with Sheldon's assistant

如果你没和谢尔顿的助理鬼混

none of this would be happening

根本不会发生现在这种破事

I wasn't screwing around with anyone

我才没跟任何人鬼混

Oh of course not

是哦没有

She was just sniffing around your goods

那你是想说她在"闻你的货时"

because she was hunting for truffles

只是单纯在找松露而已吗[靠猪的嗅觉找]

Ah Mr Wolowitz it's been a while

沃罗威茨先生好久不见

Hey Janine

你好洁宁

How are Tom and the kids

汤姆和孩子们好吗

Fine

很好

You must be Dr Hofstadter

你一定是霍夫斯塔德博士吧

Yes but I think this is all a big misunderstanding

是但我想这是个天大的误会

Yeah yeah me too

你也误会我了

I didn't do anything

我什么都没干

Is that alcohol on your breath

你怎么说话满嘴酒气

Howard built a sex robot

霍华德造了个性爱机器人

That is not true

没有这回事

All I did was build a robot

我就只是造了个机器人而已

Did it have six breasts

你那个机器人有六个胸吗

I'm sorry I'm a feminist

抱歉我是个尊重男女平等的人

I don't notice things like

我不会特别注意

how many breasts a robot has

机器人有多少乳房这种事

Well hello

大家好

What are you doing here

你来干嘛

Actually I came to speak to Mrs Davis

我是来找戴维斯夫人的

And I'm a little busy right now

我现在有点忙

But I came to file a complaint

我是来投诉的

Yeah somebody has made me feel uncomfortable in the workplace

有人在工作场所通过用不当的

by using language of an inappropriate and sexual nature

和带性字眼的言语骚扰我让我觉得不适

And who was that

是谁呢

You you dirty birdie

就你啊你这色色的婆娘

I I thought about the things you said to me yesterday

我回想了下你昨天跟我说过的话

and I realized I'm deeply offended

我意识到那是对我深深的冒犯

Now be a dear and get me one of those complaint forms

现在乖乖去给本大爷拿投诉表来

That's it

够了

All of you in my office now

所有人马上进我办公室

And thanks to you I know better than to ask

多亏你的"教导" 我不至于傻到问

if you're menstruating

你是不是来"大姨妈"了

And based on your behavior I don't have to

而看你这狂躁样不问也知道

It has been pointed out to me that

经过训示后我才明白

some of the things I said to you

我对你说的某些话

could be construed as offensive

可能会被理解成无礼

and I would like to offer you

我愿意向你表达

my sincerest apology

我最真诚的歉意

Thank you Dr Cooper Yeah additionally

-谢谢库珀博士 -另外

you should know that the university has mandated

跟你说下校方要求我

that I take an online sexual harassment seminar

参加在线性骚扰研讨班

so this sort of thing doesn't happen in the future

这样以后不会再发生类似的事情

Okay Yeah Now

-好的 -现在

unfortunately uh my time is much too valuable

遗憾的是我的时间太过宝贵

to waste on nonsense like this

不能浪费在这种屁事上面

so um I'm gonna need you to take it for me

所以我需要你替我考过这个测试

Oh and uh you'd better ace it

还有你最好给我得个A

they're pretty mad

因为校方还挺生气的

So hey I was thinking about that stuff with Alex

我一直在想你和艾利克斯的事

Oh would you stop worrying about that

拜托你别再为这个烦心了

I can't help it But look I figured

我也没办法但我想着

I could sit around and feel insecure

我可以不作为一直觉得没安全感

or I could do something about it

或者也可以做出行动

So I got a course catalog at school

所以我拿了学校的课程表

and looked at some of the science classes

看下了科学类课程

That's great

太好了

No it isn't they are extremely boring

一点也不好那些课都闷死了

I mean how do you not kill yourself like every day

你怎么撑到现在还没有自杀

Anyway I decided I don't need to be a scientist

话说回来我觉得我没必要做科学家

I could just look like one

我只要看起来像就行

So I bought these

所以我买了这个

Glasses

眼镜

I really don't think that's gonna change

我不觉得这会有什么帮助...

oh my God

我的天啊

you look so smart and hot

你看起来真是聪明绝顶兼性感撩人

I know right Watch this

我知道瞧好啦

Molecules

分子

Okay come with me

跟我来吧

Where are we going To my bedroom

-去哪里 -我的卧室

so I can take everything off but those glasses

这样我可以扒光你除了眼镜外的一切衣物

and maybe the boots

靴子也留着好了