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Awkward silence
尴尬的无言以对
Sheldon on his phone
谢尔顿盯着手机
No touching
无任何身体接触
Somebody's having date night
有人今晚约会哟
It's actually steamier than it looks
其实现实比看上去色情多了
Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables
谢尔顿正在查文艺复兴时期画作中用于象征
in Renaissance paintings
性器官的根菜类蔬菜
Oh no I got bored with that
不是 我刚才看无聊了
I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon
现在是在网上看剪指甲表皮的剪刀
How do you not tear off his clothes
你怎么能忍得住把他按倒在桌上
and take him right here on this table
扯破他衣服的冲动呢
If you do that I'll scream
你要这么做了 我一定尖叫
Sheldon I have some exciting news to tell you
谢尔顿 我有个好消息要跟你说
That makes two of us
真巧 我也是
My new cuticle scissors will be here
我的剪指甲表皮的剪刀将会在
in one to two business days
一到两个工作日内寄到
Come on one
保佑一天就到
I've been invited to consult on an experiment
我被邀请去你们大学为一项研究
at your university for a few months
当几个月的顾问
Isn't that great
是不是很棒呀
We could have lunch together
我们可以一起共进午餐
We could carpool
一起开车上下班
You know riding with Leonard
最近搭莱纳德的车
has gotten a little tedious lately
的确是开始无聊沉闷了
Th The only car game he ever wants to play
他唯一有兴趣玩的车上游戏
is the Quiet Game
就是闭嘴游戏
And he's terrible at it
而且他一点都不会玩
I always win
每次都是我赢
So you're okay with this
所以你没意见吧
Well why wouldn't I be
我为什么会有意见
Well this project would have us working
这项工作会让我们的
in close proximity to one another
工作地点很接近彼此
And there's the vulgar adage
但不是有一句坊间俗谚说
that one should not defecate where one eats
"别在自己吃饭的地方拉屎"[兔子不吃窝边草]
My father used to say that all the time
我爸爸以前也老说这句话
That and um "Who does one have to orally gratify
还有这句 "我是得用嘴帮谁爽一发
to get a drink around here "
才能有人给我上酒啊"
But what does that have to do
但那句俗谚跟
with you working at the university
你来我大学工作有何关系
Sheldon "Don't defecate where you eat "
谢尔顿"别在吃饭的地方拉屎"
means don't have a romantic relationship in the workplace
就是指别在工作场所发展男女关系
Really
是这意思吗
Yes
是的
Yeah I always took it literally
我一直都是按字面理解
That's why I have never once moved my bowels
所以我从来没有在这间或任何一间餐厅里
in this or any restaurant
上过一次大号
I'm relieved that you don't have a problem
听到你对我们在一起工作没有意见
with us working together
我心情就放松许多了
Not as relieved as I'm about to be
我马上就会比你更"放松"了
It's a brave new world little lady
美丽的新世界啊 小姑娘
源自奥尔德斯·赫胥黎的小说《美丽的新世界》
第七季 第五集
生活大爆炸
Are you crazy
你疯了吗
You don't want your girlfriend at work with you
跟女朋友在一个地方工作 你会后悔的
Hell Clam
地狱蛤蜊
Why not
有何不可
Hairy Fairy
多毛仙女
I think it could be romantic
我觉得也可能很浪漫啊
You know my parents met at his place of work
我爸妈就是在我爸工作的地方相遇的
Your father's a gynecologist
你爸是个妇科医生啊
I know
我知道啊
What started as a pap smear turned into a date
从子宫颈抹片检查发展到约会
Which turned into her working there
再发展到我妈去那边上班
which turned into marriage which then turned into hatred
再发展到婚姻 最后发展到互相憎恨
which continues to this day
然后一直保持到现在
Two Eyed Cyclops
双目独眼巨人
Would you please tell him this isn't a good idea
你能告诉他为什么这是个坏主意吗
No no I think it'll be great
不啊 我觉得这是好事
Maybe next time he gets conjunctivitis at work
下次他在上班的时候染了结膜炎
she can hold his head and try to put the drops in his eyes
她会代替我去扶着他的头 帮他滴眼药水
Giant baby
没用的东西[大婴儿]
That's a Raging Ogre
那是狂暴食人魔卡
Yeah I know
我知道啊
I'm just saying I'd never want to work with Bernadette
像我就绝对不会想跟伯纳黛特一起工作
Can you imagine seeing someone all day long
你们能想象跟某人整天待在一起
and then you're supposed to hang out with them after work too
下班之后还得继续黏在一起的生活吗
Hold on We do that all the time
等等 我跟你就这样啊
You and I work together and play together
我跟你一起上班 下班后一起玩
I know and it drove me into the arms of another woman
所以我才投入了另一个女人的怀抱
Bipolar Bear
躁郁熊
Well I appreciate your concern
我谢谢你们为我担心
but I won't be seeing any more of Amy than I already do
但我跟艾米见面的时间不会因此加长
I assume we'll deduct any extra time we spend together
我们每周相聚时间的配额
at work from our weekly quota
会扣掉工作见面的时间
Please let me be there when you tell her that
你对她说这话的时候 记得叫上我
Why So you can see the look on Amy's face
为啥 你想看看艾米听到
when she hears my top notch idea
我天才般点子时的表情吗
Please oh please just let me be there
求你 求你了 一定要让我去膜拜
So Amy what are you gonna be working on at Caltech
艾米 你在加州理工的项目是什么
I'm leading a study to see
我要带一个
if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme
单胺氧化酶的缺乏是否会使猴子
leads to paralyzing fear in monkeys
恐惧能力瘫痪的研究
If they're anything like humans the answer's yes
如果它们跟人一样 那答案就是"是"
Wait you've you've done this experiment on humans
等等 你在人身上做过这个研究吗
You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose
你是指在再无可失的死刑犯身上做这实验吗
No that would be unethical
当然没有 那太没职业道德了
You know not a lot of people know this
很多人都不知道这件事
but the monoamine oxidase enzyme
但"单胺氧化酶"
was discovered by a woman Mary Bernheim
是由玛丽·伯恩海姆这位女性发现的
That's right
没错
My phone is just as smart as you guys
我的手机就跟你们俩一样聪明
Amy Bernadette Penny
艾米 伯纳黛特 佩妮
Amy Bernadette Penny
艾米 伯纳黛特 佩妮
Amy Bernadette Penny
艾米 伯纳黛特 佩妮
He's never gonna stop doing that is he
他一辈子都要这样敲门吗
I don't mind
我不介意
I'm hoping to put his love of repetition
希望有天能把他的重复强迫症
to good use someday
引导到"好的地方"上呢
Hi Um
你好啊
I've reconsidered
我重新考虑过了
Uh you can't work where I work
你不能来我那边上班
Enjoy the rest of your evening
祝你们今晚愉快
Sheldon
谢尔顿
I I already signed the contract
我合同都签了
I cashed a check
钱我也领了
You are not going to come out of this looking good
那之后你是不会有好果子吃了
Sheldon I don't understand
谢尔顿 我不懂了
I thought you said you were fine with it
你之前不是说你可以接受吗
Well I was
我之前是啊
But that was before Howard explained to me
但那是在霍华德跟我解释
how awful it would be if he had to work
如果他要跟他的伴侣一起工作
with his significant other
会有多难受之前
He said what
他说什么
Now don't be insulted
不要觉得被侮辱了
He just thinks too much of you
他只是觉得跟你相处时间过长
would be mind numbingly tedious
会感觉大脑麻痹 无聊至极
Excuse me I need to have a chat with my husband
失陪一下 我要去跟我老公谈谈
Yeah well now well keep it short
好吧 保持对话简洁
Fr From what I gather brevity is your friend
从我听到的来看 说话简洁对你有利
So are we good here
那我们俩没事吧
No we're not good here
不 怎么可能没事
I am working on this project
从现在开始 我要研究这个项目
Yeah and you can't tell her what she can and cannot do
而且你怎么能对她颐指气使呢
Last week you told Leonard he couldn't wear
上周你叫莱纳德不许穿
his Wookiee jacket out in public
星战伍基人外套上街
That's different
这不一样
I'm not going to the mall with
我才不要跟一个穿着
someone dressed dumb space bear
白痴太空熊外套的人逛街
Sheldon you don't have to worry about me bothering you
谢尔顿 你不用担心我会去烦你
I'll be in a different building
我不会在你的大楼里工作
And we don't even have to have lunch together
我们也不用一起共进午餐
Really Yes
-真的吗 -真的
Before all things I'm a scientist
毕竟我是个科学家
I'm just there to do my work and with a little luck
我去那里是以工作为先 如果幸运的话
scare the living crap out of some monkeys
希望能吓"屎"几个猴子
You sure your mothlike personality won't be drawn
你确定以你飞蛾扑火的性格
to this blazing fire that is myself
你不会被我这熊熊的烈火所吸引吗
More and more sure
确定肯定以及一定
Well then you have my permission
好吧 我准了
I didn't ask for your permission
我才不需要你的准许
Too late No backsies
晚了 我话都说完了
No no listen to me Sheldon misunderstood
不是的 你听我说 谢尔顿理解错了
What I meant was
我的意思是
if we worked together
如果我们一起工作
there'd be too much of me for you
我怕你老看到我会嫌烦
not the other way around
而不是我烦你
Howard if you're going to lie to your wife
霍华德 如果你要骗自己老婆的话
don't start the sentence with "Sheldon misunderstood "
拜托别用"谢尔顿理解错了"这句话开头
That's a dead giveaway
这样她肯定知道你在撒谎
Well
那是怎样
Okay fine
好吧 好吧
I did say that and I think it's true
我的确那么说了 而且我说的是实话
I think if we worked together and lived together
我觉得如果我们一起工作又一起生活
we'd get sick of each other
肯定会对彼此产生厌倦之情
Yeah but to be fair he only said the part
没错 公平来说 他只是说
about him getting sick of you
他自己会烦你
For the love of God why
看在上帝的份上 你为何要置我于死地
What exactly do you think you'd get sick of
你到底觉得你会烦我哪点
His only options here are to fake a heart attack
他想逃过一劫 除了装心脏病发
or have a real one
就只能真的心脏病发了
It it's nothing in particular I
没有特别哪点啦 我
Is it my voice Am I too bossy
是我的声音吗 还是我太蛮横了
My arm is feeling numb
我的手臂突然麻了
Nailed it
说中了吧
That's the wrong arm for a heart attack doofus
心脏病发不是这只手臂麻 蠢货
My point is I'm sure there are things about me
我的重点是 我觉得如果我们整天在一起
that would drive you crazy if you had to deal
我的某些方面肯定会
with them all day long
惹你生气的
Like looking me in the eye and lying to me
比如说看着我的眼睛对我撒谎吗
Oh well come on I just
拜托 我只是
Where am I supposed to look when I lie to you
不然我撒谎的时候 眼睛要看哪里啊
Find somewhere else to sleep tonight
今晚跟别人睡去吧
Oh Bernie
妮妮
If it makes you feel any better
如果能让你觉得好过点的话
Amy and I are fine
我和艾米相安无事
I mean really good
我是说 非常好的那种
So boys how was the pajama party
小伙子们 昨晚的睡衣派对如何
You guys jump on the bed and sing into hair brushes
你们俩是不是跳上床 拿梳子当麦克风唱歌呀
It wasn't a pajama party
那才不是什么睡衣派对
It was just a couple of bros hanging out giggling
只不过是两个好兄弟待在一起 说说笑笑
eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride
边吃甜甜圈 边看《公主新娘》
1987年的浪漫爱情奇幻电影
Please stop talking
拜托 别说了
As you wish
遵命[出自电影]
I mean you know Sheldon none of this would've happened
谢尔顿 如果不是我为了帮你
if I hadn't tried to help you
就不会落到今天如此田地
Uh it also wouldn't have happened
如果早期的宇宙
宇宙大爆炸后 宇宙中的物质几乎全部都是氢原子和氦原子
if in the early universe
氢多一点或是少一点
这些轻元素才转化为如今宇宙中存在的所有其他重元素
到了后来经历过恒星的原子核聚变反应
hydrogen was a little more common or a little less common
今天也不会有我们的存在 更不会发生这件事
This is fun Your turn
真有意思 换你举例了
Gentlemen Hey Amy
-你们好 -艾米好呀
Hello
你好
That was kind of icy
艾米态度很冷淡啊
You two okay
你们俩没事吧
Oh we're fine
我们当然没事
As Howard advised
正如霍华德建议的那样
she's merely respecting our professional boundaries
她只是尊重我们的专业界限而已
Smart
真明智
Take relationship advice from a man
居然听取昨晚帮
who spent last night braiding Raj's hair
拉杰绑辫子的男人的建议
Yeah you make a good point
也是 你说得有道理
It would appear I was worried for nothing
感觉好像我的担忧是多余的
Look at her desperately wishing
瞧瞧她 超级不情愿
she was over here at the cool table
坐在那边 一心想过来酷哥的桌子
Don't worry little moth
别担心 小飞蛾
The flame will come to you
烈火哥来救你了
On the off chance that
万一
Bernadette doesn't call back and apologize
伯纳黛特真的不打电话来道歉
how do you feel about Mexican food for dinner tonight
那我们今晚吃墨西哥餐如何
I I don't know Sounds kind of heavy
我不知道 听着挺重口的
That's 'cause you always fill up on chips
那是因为你总是吃薯片
And this is Dr Gunderson from Stockholm
这位是来自斯德哥尔摩的冈德森博士
Ah Sweden
瑞典呀
Yeah home of my favorite Muppet
是我最喜欢的木偶
and uh second favorite meatball
和第二喜欢的肉丸[宜家肉丸]的家乡
Okay the Nordic reputation for lack of humor is well founded
好吧 果然北欧人没有幽默感的名声是真的
Boy is his name Gunderson or No Funderson
天啊 他是叫冈德森还是干得瘆呀
Where are we going with this Dr Cooper
你到底想要说什么 库珀博士
Oh please I'm your boyfriend
拜托 我是你的男朋友
You call me Sheldon
你应该叫我谢尔顿
That's right I am in a boy girl relationship
没错 我跟这位穿着毛衣的小可爱
with this cute little lump of wool
是男女朋友关系
Sheldon
谢尔顿
It's a physical relationship too
而且还有身体接触哦
Hand holding hugging even on hot days
比如说 拉手 拥抱 即使在大热天也是
Okay here's a new one
好吧 又多了一种
Apparently now we kick each other
显然现在我们在桌子下
in the shin under the table
互踢彼此的小腿
How do you like it when I do it to you
换我踢你了 你觉得如何
Not so much huh
不是很爽 对吧
Test subject D7
测试实验品D7
aka Betsy fear response study
又名贝琪 恐惧反应研究
Image number one
一号图片
Frenchman on bicycle carrying baguettes
法国人骑着自行车载着长棍面包
No visible reaction
无可见反应
Image number two sousaphone
二号图片 苏萨大号
Still no reaction
还是没反应
Okay
好吧
Let's kick things up a notch
那我们升级一下图片
Image number three
三号图片
crocodile with a mouthful of monkeys
一只满嘴猴子的鳄鱼
Okay now we're talking
好的 总算有点反应了
Dr Fowler
福勒博士
What do you want Sheldon
你来干嘛 谢尔顿
Well I'm done with work so
我下班了 所以
Oh sorry sorry sorry
抱歉 抱歉
Sorry Uh
真是不好意思
Better
现在好点了吗
Oh baguettes
长棍面包
Yes I like baguettes
我喜欢长棍面包
What exactly are you doing
你到底在做什么
Determining baseline fear levels in capuchin monkeys
通过视觉刺激来测试卷尾猴的反应
by measuring their response to visual stimuli
从而界定他们的恐惧等级
So goofing off
所以你游手好闲着
As I was saying
我刚说了
I'm done with work and Leonard's not
我下班了 而莱纳德还没
So good news you get to take me home
所以好消息是 你可以送我回家
Play your cards right
如果你把我哄高兴了
I'll let you drive me past the lot
我就让你载着我经过
where the buses park at night
那个晚上停公车的停车场
I can't leave now Sheldon
我现在走不开 谢尔顿
I'm very busy
我很忙
Besides why would I want to do you a favor
再说了 你在餐厅那样对我之后
after the way you treated me in the cafeteria
我干嘛还要帮你的忙
Image number four boa constrictor
四号图片 蟒蛇
What on earth are you talking about
你到底在说什么
My behavior in the cafeteria was delightful
我在餐厅的行为多讨人喜欢呀
Maybe your friend Gunderson needs
或许你朋友冈德森需要
to head over to IKEA and assemble a sense of humor
去宜家 组装点幽默感回来
You embarrassed me in front of my colleagues
我第一天上班 你就当着我同事的面
on my first day here
让我下不了台
Image number five
五号图像
kitten in a teacup
茶杯里的小猫咪
Oh embarrassed you You know what
-我让你丢人了 -算了
I don't have time for this Find another way home
我现在没空 你自己想办法回家吧
I'm starting to get the sense that you're angry with me
我怎么感觉你好像在生我的气
Really What tipped you off
是吗 是什么给了你灵感
Couple things actually
事实上有不少
Your tone of voice your body language
你的语气 你的肢体语言
Get out Well now that
-快出去 -还有这话
Image number six woman giving birth
六号图像 女性分娩
It's 9 00 Where you been
都9点了 你去哪里了
Oh I had to take the bus home
我得坐公车回家
Fell asleep and missed my stop
睡着了 结果坐过站
Oh no
不是吧
Did you know that Los Angeles has a Little Sri Lanka
你们知道洛杉矶有斯里兰卡社区吗
I did not
我不知道
Well I do now
我现在知道了
They're a lovely people
他们是非常好的人
Although terrifying when you wake up face to face with them
不过醒来时和他们脸对脸的 还是挺可怕的
If you're hungry I brought home
如果你们饿 我这里有些
some mutton and coconut milk
羊肉和椰奶
Why'd you get that You hate lamb
你为什么买这个 你讨厌羊肉
I was asking for directions
我本想问路
Apparently there was a communication problem
显然 我跟他们在沟通上出了问题
I thought Amy was gonna drive you home
不是艾米送你回家吗
Yeah I thought so too
我也这样想的
but she's acting very strangely
但她的表现非常奇怪
I was discussing it with a Sri Lankan fellow on the bus
我在公车上和一个斯里兰卡人讨论这个问题
and he hypothesized that a tiger may have
他猜测可能是因为最近有只老虎
recently run across her shadow
从她的影子上跳过去了
Although he may have just been trying to drum up business
不过他可能只是在为他大舅子的
for his brother in law's witch doctor practice
巫医诊所招揽生意
Okay Sheldon what happened between you and Amy
谢尔顿 你和艾米到底发生什么事了
Well can you believe she said I embarrassed her
你能相信吗 她说我让她丢人了
Yeah
相信
But you didn't even hear the details
但你连事情经过都不知道呢
Sheldon
谢尔顿
I've known you a long time
我认识你很久了
and I'm going to tell you this
以下这句话
with all the love I can possibly muster
我会用我所有的爱来为之裹糖衣
Amy's right You're wrong
艾米是对的 你是错的
But you don't even know Doesn't matter
-但你都不知道... -没必要
But now but in my defense Doesn't matter
-容我说一句 -没必要
You're not listening to my side of it
你根本没听我的委曲
Okay fine Sheldon What is your side
好吧 谢尔顿 你有什么委曲
Well
好吧
Nope got to go with Amy on this one
不 这次我必须挺艾米
Shrimp was spicy
这虾好辣啊
You want a TUMS
你要抗胃酸咀嚼片吗
You got the tropical fruit kind
有热带水果味吗
No if I buy those
没有 如果我买这种口味的
I just go through them like candy
我会拿来当糖吃
Tell me about it
可不是嘛
One time I swear I pooped out a stick of chalk
我发誓我有次拉出了根像粉笔的玩意
I'll get it Thanks
-我去开 -多谢
Hi
你好
Oh hi
你来啦
I may have overreacted
也许我的反应太夸张了
Yeah well I didn't handle it so great either
我自己也没有处理好这次的问题
It's just sometimes I feel like you enjoy spending time
只是有时候我觉得 比起和我在一起
with your friends more than with me
你更喜欢和你的朋友们一起玩
That's not true It's not
-不是这样的 -不是吗
You spend all day together at work
你们整天工作在一起
and then you all hang out at night playing games
晚上又在一起玩游戏
going to the comic book store
一起去漫画书店
Last week you two got a couples massage
上个星期 你俩还一起去享受了情侣按摩
So when you said you wouldn't want to spend
所以你说不想和我在一起
that much time with me it really hurt my feelings
那么长的时间 真的很伤我的心
Yeah no I get that
我明白了
I'm so sorry
真是对不起
Starting tomorrow I am turning over a new leaf
从明天开始 我会洗心革面
Time with you is my number one priority
我会将与你共度美好时光 摆在第一位
Why tomorrow
为什么是明天开始
Well we're real close to finishing off the new Batman game
蝙蝠侠的新游戏 我们马上就要打通关了
It is awesome
太好玩了
Uh you should probably go after her
也许你应该去追她
Should I go after you
我应该去追你吗
No
不用
Thanks for getting me in trouble
多谢你让我们夫妻不和
Amy
艾米
Amy
艾米
Amy
艾米
Sheldon what are you doing here so late
谢尔顿 你这么晚过来做什么
I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking
我睡不着 因为我一直在想
about what happened earlier between us
我们之间发生的事
Also I had one heck of a bus nap
而且 我在公车上已经睡够了
Oh speaking of which
说到这个
do you want some mutton and coconut milk
你要来点羊肉和椰奶吗
No
不要
Well I cannot give this stuff away
这玩意儿怎么白送都没人要
What do you want
你想怎么样
Amy this isn't easy to say
艾米 这些话很难启齿
All relationships are difficult
所有的感情都不会是一帆风顺的
but even more so when you're in one
尤其是对方是一个
with a person who struggles
连每天日常的社交活动
with everyday social interactions
都要辛苦应对的人
And frankly
坦白来说
who can strike some people
在某些人眼里
as being kind of a weirdo
他就是个怪胎
Sheldon
谢尔顿
you're not a weirdo
你不是怪胎
I wasn't speaking about me
我说的不是我
I mean honestly
说实话
there's no telling what will set you off
我真不知道什么事让你这么生气
You know introducing myself as your boyfriend
以男友的身份自我介绍
Giving you the opportunity to drive me home
给你开车送我回家的机会
Breaking the ice with your colleagues
用种族笑话来打破
using ethnic humor
你与同事的僵局
the funniest kind of humor
这是最有意思的幽默感了
What's your point
你到底想说什么
My point is we're a couple
我想说 我们是情侣
And
还有
I like you for who you are
我喜欢的是真实的你
Quirks and all
怪异什么的都接受
I like you too
我也喜欢你
Well I should hope so
那是自然
I don't see anyone else banging on this door
还有谁会这个时候来敲门
to put up with your nonsense
容忍你的这一堆废话
Not even a good bye
连再见都不说吗
You see that's the kind of thing
就是因为这样
that makes people think you're weird
才让别人觉得你是个怪胎
Poor kid
可怜的孩子
She just doesn't see it
她怎么就这么没自知自明呢
I'm not apologizing to Howard
我不会跟霍华德道歉的
He can come beg me on his knees
我要他跪着来求我
Sheldon too
谢尔顿也一样
If I see him at work I'm just going to ignore him
如果在工作时见到他 我会把他当空气
All right don't worry I talked to Leonard
不用担心 我跟莱纳德说了
He is gonna sit the guys down and set them straight
他会让你们家男人乖乖坐下 好好教育他们
Laser's warmed up
激光已加热
Pull
放气球